askTheTeenGirl
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Q: I've recently asked this wuestion before, and I just wanted some new answers.I hope you guys don't mind.

Alright so me and my best guy friend, we are close. Close as in he tells me mostly everything. He's such a cool guy and I love him to death. [I'm not sure if I have feelings for him, I'm sure I don't] Well, people at school always tell me that he likes me, but I usually don't believe it. But lately he has been acting strange around me. Yesterday night we had a party thing, and I asked him if he wanted to dance[It wasn't even a slow song, and I wasn't trying to make a move or anything.] And he goes, and I quote, "No. I mean do you know how akward that would be later? I mean we are in the same math class." Yes we are in the same math class, and that seems to be the number one problem. If I ever ask him something in a friendly way [Like do you wanna dance?] he always uses the excuse that we are in the same math class as a way not to do it. But he always dances with my other friends and has a good time. But refuses me. I don't understand what's going on with him. Does he have feeligns for me and is trying to hide them? Or does he just not like me at all?

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
He are sone things he does to me [and some only to me,] if this helps. In the hallways he will come up behind me and hug me or put his arm around me and hug me for a second. If I ask for his sweatshirt he will give it to me. He always teases me, but never puts me down. He sits behind me in math, so he will always try and talk to me or he'll poke me or something. Today he was making fun of the tan lines on my back [I'm a swimmer] And he always looks for me. Say like before practice we go to Randalls, he will come in there looking for me for no apparent reason. But he will still discuss things with me about other girls and tell me what he thinks, whether they are "hot" or "ugly", or pretty or nice and whatever. And he always tells me things that I should do, like dye my hair or soemthing.[It's mostly about my hair. He doesn't do it to offend me though]. Hope this helps with my/your analysis.
I think that you should only worry about whether he likes you or not is if you ever get feelings for him. I know you are curious, but there isn't an exact formula to knowing whether someone likes you or not. He's giving you really mixed messages and isn't making sense of anything.

When I was reading your question, I was convinced that he might only want you as a friend, but when I saw your added information, I was completely confused and I have no idea what to think. And luckily, you don't really have to worry about his feelings for you are because you are pretty sure that you only like him as a friend.

I think what you should do is keep being his friend and if he's not going to be man enough to dance with a girl who happens to be in his math class, then that's his problem and it's a really immature excuse. It makes me think that he doesn't want to dance with you, so he thought of a stupid excuse to use to keep from dancing with you. But, I don't think you should try defining his feelings and keeping standing by him as friends. Don't try to analyze his thoughts and change things.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i was shaving "down there" and i got an ingrown hair..does anyone know what i should do to it? should i just leave it? and is there anything i can do to prevent it further? (i do use shaving cream)
thanks.
You should let the ingrown hair heal itself and as for preventing it try using a pad exfoliator after removing hair.

The exfoliant will clear the follicle so new hairs grow in smoothly. A cotton pad soaked in with a toner containing salicylic acid also works.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hello, I just turned 24 years old 2 weeks ago. You think I would be happy but I am not. I have never had a boyfriend in my life. I have never recieved and gifts from a man or even been out on a date. I have never even kissed a man. i remember when i was 16 my friends would laugh and me because i had not done ane anything yet. I thought i was a loser back then but now that I am 24 I don't think i am in the loser catergory any more. could it be that no one pays attention to me because I am over weight? (size 16) If that is true then why do I see girls who are way bigger than me with a boyfriends. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I just a loser?
I consider you pretty lucky to not have gone through all of the risks that a lot of teens went through such as sex, and love, heartbreaks, or cheating.

I know you don't feel so lucky since you are an adult and still havn't really gone out with anyone, but this might have to do with your self-esteem. As a teenager, you and your friends believed that you were a loser because you weren't experienced in those areas, so you lived a lot of years thinking down on yourself because of this.

Being overweight doesn't mean that you can't feel attractive and can't be truly in love with someone you deserve. Like you said, you've seen all kinds of overweight people with boyfriend and girlfriends and they are happy. I think the root of your problem is maybe you aren't reaching out like you should. Maybe you go out, then come home and you're sitting at home just waiting for Mr.Right to ring your doorbell, and it doesn't work that way.

Do you have a lot of friends now? Find a friend that you can start going out with to places instead of moping around at home waiting for true love. Get 'Love Smart' by Dr.Phil and see what you can do to make your chances of finding the right one better. Start looking around for resources to begin dating someone. Ask a friend for a few pointers or to help you find the right guy. I wouldn't recommend the friends you had in High School that laughed at you instead of comforting you as some help.

There isn't anything wrong with you. There are a lot of men and women still trying to find their true love. Even some people who are dating at 24 will become single because of a break-up so they have to start looking again too. So, let yourself know that you aren't the only one waiting for the right person in your life.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well i like this guy and i know he likes me back cause i can tell..and his friend told me! but he's really angry at me cause once i've been kinda mean whatever yeah and i really like to be friends again soooo when i tried to talk he didnt answer that much (he did but is was just weird all he said was uhu and yeah and stuff like that :-/) and in school he is just weird he looks at me but just weird cause everytime i'm in the same hall or classroom he walkes away cause he's mad! so what should i do now? i really wanna be friends and i love him soo much he'S the kinda guy i always wanted sooo what should i do to get him to not be so angry and just forgive me?? i already appologized but as i was saying he answered weird!

i'll rate

PLEASE HELP!!
I think you are going to have to accept the fact that you've tried everything you could. Maybe he'll learn to forgive you later on when you leave him alone for a while because you are probably just annoying him.

Maybe next time you shouldn't be mean to someone who doesn't deserve it and you wouldn't have to follow them around later on when you decide you still want them in your life. Just back off and wait for him.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: wow, i definitely made a mistake, and i was at a house where people were drinking. i only sipped a few thing but i didn't even like it so i didn't drink and i didn't get drunk. i should have called my parents and had them pick me up, and i didn't so now they don't trust me at all. this is gonna spread around school quickly and i don't know if i can deal w/ what kind of stuff people could say. i really want to earn my parents trust back but i know that is gonna take a LONG TIME! i wish i could take everything back. what should i do?
At least you realize what you should have done in the first place and you realize that it's going to take a lot to get your parents to trust you again.

The only way you can really let your parents know that you can be trusted is to just wait out your punishments and not complain about being grounded or yelling. When a mature person knows that what they did was wrong, they show that by taking their punishment and not complaining like a child.

I don't know why this news would go around in your school, but if it does, then you'll have to just deal with it and ignore it and they'll think of something else to gossip about.

But, sometimes it takes mistakes like these to realize that it wasn't a smart move and that's just what you have to think of this as. Your actions can really cause a lot of damage, but it's important to realize it was wrong and make things right again and prevent it from happening again. I think that you should let your parents know that you are truly sorry and you are willing to do whatever it takes for them to trust you again and they'll probably feel better that you know what you did wasn't right.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: hi, i have a wide circle of friends a mixture of both boys and girl. but some of them dont get along together so somedays i spend time with one group(a) and others the other group(b). last week i went out shopping with group a and one of my bff in group b found out. she started having a go at me for ignoring her, (but infact the reason i went shopping with group a than group b was because she was ignoring me and spending loads of time with her bf)and not inviting her but i explained to her the problem and she just wont except that i have other friends apart from her. what shall i do???
I think that you should let your friend know that you do love spending time with her, but you are put in a situation where you have to split your time with other friends and that you would invite her, but apparently her group isn't getting along with the one you hung out with.

If you've already explained this, then you'll just have to let her be angry until she understands or just gets over the fact that nobody is getting along. I know you might really like this best friend, but if she can't be ok with you having other friends, then it's going to be hard to continue a friendship with her. It isn't your fault that you are caught in the middle of this madness and have to split your time. And she has to understand this.

The next time that a friend ignores you or leaves you out, don't try to get revenge on her. That makes the situation worse and then she'll just do it right back and then you two will be at a revenge war instead of good friends. If you have anymore questions concerning this situation, please write back, thank you.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i was in love with my bf. i loved him deeply and truely. then we broke up and it was over 5 months ago. im not a stocker or anything. but i still love him. i have had thoughts about being with him. i dream about him. but he hates me and wont even talk to me. i sometimes wonder if it would be easier to harm myself than to talk to him about it. i now think im fat and i weight 96 lbs. i think im ugly and i used to do modeling and got voted best looking out of my class. things i used to like about myself i now hate. i want to loose weight and cut myself and i fight with my mom and dad all of the time now. but it only makes it worse. then i wrecked my car and was seriously injured. then everytime i start to do good, i fuck up and get on the same track. can someone please help me
Break-ups are a really hard thing to handle, and don't think that just because 5 months have passed that you should be over him. Getting over someone and coping with this takes a long time for a different person.

Your thoughts sound pretty dangerous and that break-up is causing you to think that just because he doesn't want to be with you anymore that you are unattractive and worthless when nothing could be further from the truth.

Even if this guy were talking to you and being nice about this break-up, you wouldn't ever get over him if you kept talking to him. The only way to start your life over from a nasty break-up is to stay away from the person you are getting over and having no contact with this person until you are healed. I know that it probably hurts really bad to have yourself convinced thst he hates you, but I think that he just wants to move on because he is the one who ended the relationship. It's a lot easier to be the one breaking up and moving on. And it's a lot easier to make the other person think that they don't care about them anymore since they are broken up.

Your best bet would be to talk to someone about this. When times get really rough, you won't believe how good it will feel that somebody cares and that you aren't alone. Try to understand that you are in control of yourself. What you think of you is what defines you as a person. If you think that you are unattractive in your mind, then you will appear that way on the inside. Don't let this break-up define you as an ugly unattractive person. You are still just as beautiful as you felt in that relationship. You are still just as loved as you felt in that relationship.

I think you seriously need to let your parents know what's happening because it's unfair to them that they have to deal with your ups and downs and have no idea or explaination of why it's happening. You don't have to go in to detail such as why you broke up, but at least tell them that you aren't with this guy and you are feeling depressed lately. True love can really make you think, but when you are thinking negatively about yourself, you are having unreal thoughts. These thoughts are lies and you have to realize that. You know that you are a beautiful girl too, you probably had really good feelings about yourself when you were in that relatiobship and now that he's gone, you feel like that's all changed. The only thing that has changed is that he is no longer in your life.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I am mad at my best friend. I don’t want to be but I am. She has a new friend that I don’t know I guess I like her and I’m fine that they are friends and all. But lately shes been ditching me for her other friend. We were supposed to hang out and she ditched me. she has ditched me twice in the last week for her. Now she is doing cheerleading with her, and before she started being friends with her new friend she used to tell me how she would never do it. shes changing a lot. I know I cant live without her because she has always been there for me and she knows more about me then I know about myself and vise versa. we are “not friends anymore” and its killing me. to tell you the truth all I really want from her is an apology and I guess we could move on, but I have a feeling she wont say shes sorry because she is the type of person who wont admit they are wrong. for the past two years she has been ditching me for her boyfriends and I haven’t done anything about it. Now that shes ditching me for “her new best friend” im really fed up with it and I did something about it, but it seems sooo wrong.
This happens to a lot of girls. They think that they'll be friends with someone forever, but then you start getting into middle and high school and they are changing in ways that aren't very positive. Everyone is suppose to change, but a lot of times these changes aren't good ones.

What you have to stop doing is convincing yourself that you can't live without this girl because you honestly can. I know that when you picture your life without her, it doesn't seem to make sense, but you probably will end up living your life without her and with new and better friends. If she's ditched you for this girl, she's obviously not having a lot of respect for your friendship with her anymore. This isn't a situation where it can't be solved with a confrontation, a lot of times they have to just go and live life the way they want it and they'll have to hit rock bottom to realize what they are doing isn't safe.

The part that really matters in this is that you don't change into who she is in order to keep being her friend. Don't sink yourself down to her level just so you can feel right because it doesn't feel right living without her. People will always change, and you have to decide whether that change is good or bad for you.

-TheTeenGirl


Q: I'm thirteen years of age, and now currently single.
My ex boyfriend and I have done quiet a bit for our age, and I'm not sure if people will consider me a slut if they find out.
We've done everything, not as far as sex or oral sex, but up to fingering, handjob etc.
I still love him, but I'm scared since we're not together, he'll tell some people what we did.
And I don't want to loose my rep. at school.
Today, he asked me to flash him over the webcam.
I said no, because he had a new girlfriend.
he got mad and blocked me.
Is it good I said no?
I still like him, what do you think i should do?
have I gone to far?

-lovesick
Nothing hurts more than seeing a thirteen year old do things that she shouldn't be doing with a guy.

You definetly did the right thing by not flashing him, but I think you refused for the wrong reason. If he hadn't had a girlfriend, you would have probably done it.

You have no idea how dangerous it can be to do these things with a guy whose not even your boyfriend, it's horrid. He can get mad enough to tell everyone what the two of you have been doing. If he got angry because you wouldn't flash him, then your fears will come to life in this situation. I think at this point, you should make the decision to quit doing things with this guy for these reasons:

-He isn't your boyfriend, so therefore, you aren't that close to him

-You are way too young

-He will eventually get mad enough at you to spread rumors about you

-You are basically doing 'friends with benefits'! Which isn't right

You have gone too far, but it's not too late to change your ways and save your reputation.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Im 16 years old , grade 11, ive known a gurl named teshia for 3 months , met her thru a mutual friend, she was goin out witta guy cory for 9 months, and i thot she was very pretty, and seemed nice, we started saying hi once in a while, then we started calling eachother, soon enuf we were best friends and talkd for hours atta time evry nite and went out to a bunch of places, i made her the happiest shes bin in her life 4 times in those 3 months, but for the last month i really started to fall for her, i loved her, her and cory didnt havva good relationship,he ignored her lots, called her once a week, did sumthing with her twice a month,they fought alot bout me because shed say oh aj does this for me why cant you , i hated cory because he made her miserable, but she couldnt leave him, she luved him, she wantd to be with me tho,then she broke up with him for the reason being i thot was her wanting to be with me , so about a week later i asked her out all romanticly , and she said im not ready , why are you doing this to me, then thers me thinking she'd be all happy, then that was 6 days ago nd since then ive bin tha most hurt ive bin in my life, she still wants to be good friends ,but ive bin tellin her for tha last month i dont no how long i can stay friends because it hurts seeing u with cory, now i cant cuz it hurts not being with u, so i get advice saying just drop her, forget bout it she had her chance, from my sister, friends, ect.. and i tried and shes all i ever think about, its too hard and hurts too much, i asked her again why we cant be together, are you over cory? she says yes but i cant see myself being with you sexually, i was in awe because we almost did sexual stuff a few times, she wanted to but i didnt because she was with cory, and i think thats wrong, it just hurts so much, what should i do?
I know it hurts to be rejected by this girl, but it's something that you have to start accepting.

If this girl likes to be mistreated and doesn't want to leave this guy, then that is her choice and her fault that she continued to let herself be treated in the way you described. She was with this guy for 9 months, and thats quite a while, so my guess would be that she really isn't over the break-up between them.

I know she said she was over him, but it sounds like she's not. And I don't know why you both were already discussing doing sexual things together, but that's not something that the both of you should be talking about until you actually start a relationship together. And for her to use that excuse tells me that she is flat out not interested in dating you romanticly or any other way. She probably just used that as an excuse to reject you.

What you need to do is give this friendship some space and stay out of her love life. Don't ask her about Cory or anything that has to do with being involved with someone. I wouldn't end the friendship just because she doesn't want to be anything more with you, and you never know that all could change later on in your friendship. I think that you should continue to be what you've been to her, just a really good friend.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: f/14
freshman

well basically school sucks and...i really dont like it. im aquantinces (sp)with 20 or so people in my grade, but i really only have two friends.

-one of them is always all over her boyfriend and they only talk to eachother, its like someone turned on a switch or something. whenhes not there, we have a good time, but if hes there she basically forgets im in the room.

- the other one is usually fine but when her other friend (that im friendly with) is there she totally ignores me.

so basically thats it. its just me, myself, and i. my mom was thinking of homeschooling me, not that she knows any of th at, just because she thinks it'd be better since my schools kind of crappy anyway and i hate all the people in it.i kind of want to stay though for things like prom, and graduation, and stuff like that but idk if its really worth it to stay there if i basically have no friends here. im not really sure if homeschooling is good though. when i go to college i dont want to be like the only one that was homeschooled, and not know everything im supposed to, or someting like that. i would get a tutor for math since my mom basically sucks at math, but everything else she would teach me.
idk.

someone please help me out

and if any of you are homeschooled that would be good too..but it doenst really matter. just your opinion will be appreciated.
I am homeschooled because of depression. I wasn't able to function in school, my grades were ok but I was missing out on classes by going to a counselor a lot and getting a lot of make-up work.

I tried going to school for my freshman year and it worked out pretty well until the middle of the year. So I'm now homeschooled again.

I had quite a few friends in school too, and they weren't my best friends, there were about two or three that I was pretty close to, it's kind of like the way you are in school, just people you say hi to and about two that you actually hang out with. I will admit that even though I felt really lonely, my friends changed that a lot when I was down. They made me feel happy and silly to hang around, but still I wasn't really that happy, it was hard.

My point is that even though I wasn't that close to my friends, I was still happy because I found myself only getting closer to these friends through out the year even though I didn't realize it at the time. I just paid attention to how many friends I had and whether they really wanted to be a closer friend to me because it felt like they had too many other friends. Looking back at the beginning of the year, I actually had some pretty good times with those friends because I not only hung out with the ones that I've known for years, but my friends made all of these other friends that I became closer to.

Being homeschooled will not solve your problem of having not enough friends. It will actually get worse. You'll be at home all of the time and you can hang out with your friends still, but they'll probably be hanging out with friends they have at school. It's not that they won't care about you anymore, you won't be at school to make plans and laugh with your friends anymore. I think that you should try hanging tight and realizing that you could be closer to these friends than you are now. And you could be thinking that you don't have that many friends, but you should think about it, because if you do decide that homeschooling is best for you, you'll realize what you had.

I'm not trying to say that homeschooling will fill your head with regrets, but to just be careful of the reason you are doing this. And your reason is because you don't have that many friends, but then again being homeschooled will not make that problem go away. You will always want friends around you no matter how much you think you can handle being alone. Besides, having a lot of friends can be a special thing, but what's even more special is having about two or three good friends. And if they aren't that good yet, then get closer to them. It's possible.


-TheTeenGirl

Q: I am now 16. When i was in 7th grade i started cutting my wrists....in 9th grade a was "an alcoholic" after i got over drinking i started taking pills...and this year...i started vomitting after every meal. I need help i know...but how do i get it and where...my sister is 17 and pregnant and just recently left home to her 38 yr. old bf "she ran away" my mom is so carring....she doesnt know i do this and it would kill her if i told her because she is under so much stress...i dont have many close friends because i have a bf and i spend all my available time with him.....he doesnt know either i alwayz wear long sleeved shirts and i always say i have to pee after i get done eating...now it is such a habbit that when i eat"if i eat till im full" it starts comming up on its own and i cant control it...its too late...plz someone tell me what to do????

Confused!
You definetly need to put an end to this lifestyle you are living. This is a lot to read,but please read it all, trust me it won't be a waste of your time.

I know that you don't want to tell your mom because she's under a lot of stress. But listen, you are her daughter, the one that she brought into this world and she cares about you so much, and I think it would kill her more if you never tried to ask her for help. The first big step to getting help is admitting to what you've been doing and asking for help.

The thought of telling anyone probably terrifies you and it should. You should feel very afraid to let anyone know about this because it's shocking and bad news.

But there is good news in this situation, You can get help. You aren't mentally going crazy, you aren't messed up, you are depressed and it can be helped if you would confess these things to your mom. Yes, she would be very upset and frightened, but she will be relieved that you confided in her about this and asked her for help. If you were your mother, you would want your daughter to come to you for this problem, wouldn't you?

Just slow everything down for a second. Don't think about cutting, bulimia, taking pills, or being depressed. Close your eyes and get relaxed for just one second and think of everything you want in life. A goal you've been meaning to reach, a dream you wish to live someday, a general thing you want to happen in your life. Let yourself know that if you continye this lifestyle of cutting, bulimia and taking pills, you won't live that goal or dream happily. Your life only has more bad and depression to come if you continue to live this problem and not ask for help.

A happy and healthy person has happiness in store for them in their lives. But people who were depressed and who overcame cutting, or anorexia or any of that, they are stronger and have a lot of happiness in store for their lives too. If you put everything on the table to your mom and got help, I promise you that you will be doing so much more than getting rid of these problems. You will be making yourself happier, and making more positive choices to live your life and deal with your problems. You will feel like you can take on anything that seems hard and scary.

And the best part is that you won't have to worry about finding a clean long-sleeved shirt everyday. You won't have to worry about what excuse you have to make in order to take too many pills. You won't have to worry about whether you might have to explain that you have to use the bathroom after every meal. You won't have to hide yourself anymore.

You can tell your mom in two ways that could work best for you, either in person (I prefer), or a letter explaining what's going on. Something like this:

Mom,

There are a few things that I have to confess because it's damaging my life and getting in the way of my happiness. I started cutting when I was in the 7th grade and after that everything went downhill. I started drinking, and now I've been throwing up after every meal and taking pills. I really can't find a reason for all of this (Unless you really can), but I know that I am depressed and I need your help. I know you are probably really hurt and shocked, but thats why I need you, I'm shocked at myself too and I need to get help.

Or something like that. If you need any help concerning this problem, please don't hesistate to send me something in my inbox for further help.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: uGh im gonna go insane.... 2months and im out of here... ok well ive been really stressed about almost everything.... my parents are sending me away for a year and i honestly dont want to go and like they know but ther buying me like everything i want before i leave but i keep on getting in fights with them beause they get mad when i tell them i dont want to go... i kinda feel bribed but then again i know there sending me for a good reason but ugh im so irratated with everything...today i got in a fight with my mom cause it had something to do with me signing up for summer school so i dont have to repeat the grade and its like ugh i dont mean to fight with her I JUST DONT WANT TO GO ANYWHERE and she started getting mad cause i told one of my friends that i dont want to go and shes like dont tell your friends that! What am i supposed to do be like ohh im so excited im leaving for a year yay! When Im not....
Anyadvice?
If you know that being sent away is for the best, then that's what you have to keep reminding yourself of.

I know it probably seems a little scary and annoying that you are being sent away for a long time, but don't make your parents the enemy of your stress. They are probably stressed for you too.

Start accepting that in two months a lot is going to change for the better, not the worst. Just because it's not something you want to do, it doesn't mean that it can't be a good thing. You should start taking this time you have left to bond with your parents a little better because I think that when you leave unhappy with them, you'll feel regretful of the way things got left behind. Your parents probably understand that you feel the way you are feeling, but it would be easier for them if you were calm and mature about these feelings.

The first thing you can do is stop making them buy you everything little thing you want. If you really need something before you leave, then that's ok to ask for. Don't take advantage of them getting you everything you want just to get you to go where you are suppose to go in two months. you and your parents are very stressed in this situation, don't make it harder on yourselves.

Secondly, try apologizing for the way you've been acting. I know that you may think you are right, but they might even apologize in return for the way they've acted too. Just say:

"Mom/dad, I know that I've been acting a little crazy and I'm really sorry for making it harder on us to get n with this. I'm just upset lately because I don't want to do this and I'm honestly having a hard time accepting this. I don't mean to hurt your feelings."

You'll feel a lot better if you got things fixed up with your parents. Things wouldn't be as stressful, and you wouldn't keep on getting in fights. If you aren't going to make an effort with your parents, just tink of it this way: The way you are dealing with this situation isn't working obviously, so why not try something different?

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well i need major help
-i don't know what to do because my parents dont except me and i dont kn ow how to make them
-i have been grounded for 3 weeks because i didnt go to tutoring and they did it purposely to ruin my social life
-they even told me that they were taking my social life away.
-my friends are starting to know
-i feel like someone could shoot me and no one would care
-i used to hate school and love to come home, but now i would rather be anywhere than at home
-my mom makes me tell her about my feelings and then she goes and tells all of her friends
-i cant trust anyone now, not even my parents
-how can i make my life just a little better?

i will rate high and i need answers soon!

xXxheartbrokenxXx
It sounds like you are going through a really tough time with your family which is perfectly normal.

If your parents and you always got along, something just wouldn't be right. Your parents love you a lot, and I know you are thinking, 'oh no, it's the stupid your parents love you crap' but it's not. I know what you are feeling, and it makes you angry enough to bash a wall in or just cry a lot.

But the thing is that they wouldn't intentionally take away your friends just to make you feel the way you are feeling right now. When you disobey a rule they have, they have to punish you for that to let you know that it isn't acceptable and yes I know, it absolutely sucks. They probably grounded you from your friends because that is what you enjoy doing the most-hanging out with your friends and having that social life. This is so you know the next time you think about doing something wrong, you'll know that you won't be seeing your friends for a while if you do go through with it and it will make you think twice.

I know you probably already knew this, but I'm trying to tell you that you are very loved and accepted by your parents. They don't wake up one day and think how they can take away everything you like. They have reasons for it. Sometimes being with your family and getting in fights is truly unbearable. But trust me, everyone gets through it in different ways:

-Start a journal if you already havn't and write down the thoughts in your head or some poetry if you need to.

-Keep talking to your parents and try helping around the house a little. Being a parent is one tough and stressing job. So don't think that they have it easy.

-Go somewhere to stay over on weekends to get out of the house a little when you are ungrounded.

-The next time your mom asks for you to tell her your feelings, tell her that you'd feel more comfortable if it were kept between just the two of you because it really hurts you when she's spreading it around like gossip. And don't make your feelings extreme like, "I hate you, you are unfair and you are ruining my life" start out like this: "I felt really sad when you______" Or "Lately school has been stressing me out because_______". If you just yell and tell her how unfair she is, she will treat you like a child and completely shut you out.

-Let your friends know that things are a little on the stressful side for you and that you'll get back to your old self as soon as everything settles down, don't shut them out of your life, let them cheer you up.

-Talk to your school counselor after or during school if you need to. You don't have to see them everyday, but it could be nice to talk to someone outside of your family and friends and get some advice, or consider an after-school special to keep away from going home for a while if you need to.

Whatever you end up doing to cope with this, don't let yourself continue thinking that if you died nobody would care. If you feel that these feelings are serious, then please let someone know you are feeling seriously depressed. Turn to a friend or counselor, but don't turn to anything extreme like cutting, or drugs or alcohol.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I have two lovely cousin brothers but there are times when they ger overly critical of me,put me down sarcastically .....how do i deal with them,i don want 2 be rude but i cant take it no more either
Let's face it: Guys are just plain immature.

They put you down and get sarcastic with you because they want you to respond to it. And if you respond to it by showing them that it bothers you, then you are giving them exactly what they want.

A way to get used to their crap is to either ignore it, or just tell them to shut up even when they keep trying to put you down. Something really annoying you can do is plug your ears and just yell "shut up shut up" over and over and it will drown out their voices. Hey, if they can be immature and annoying, so can you!

Just try not to let it make you think that they hate you. You said that they are two lovely cousin brothers and they probably are. But there has to be times when they have to act like guys-childish.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i was in a huge fight with one of my guy friends and we just started talking again and now were good but i used to like him ALOT and i had a dream once a while ago when we were really good friends that i had sex with him. and the day after we started talking after our argument i had another dream that we were going out and we were a couple. im so confused i was sooo mad at him and i still am pretty upset at him were not friends again yet and he called me some pretty horrible things but i think i still have feelings for him even though im mad at him and im so confused, do i like him again?
At this point, it'll probably take more than dreams to let yourself know that you like this guy. Dreams are only dreams. We dream about people we love, hate, and our family, but we hardly ever base our lives onto them because they are only dreams.

You have to think about the way he acts toward you just as a friend. You said that he called you some horrible names during an arguement. If that is unacceptable to you to happen in a relationship arguement, then you won't be able to have him as your boyfriend very well. I hope that being called names in a love relationship is unacceptable to you because it shouldn't happen no matter how angry you get.

I think you should focus on getting this friendship back into place before deciding whether you have feelings for him or not. And that could be the root of your arguement. Sometimes friends get jealous and they can argue about really stupid things because that jealousy went out of control. I'm not saying that you were jealous, but it could be.

The truth is that only you know whether you truly like your guy friend or not. Do you find yourself day-dreaming of the both of you as a couple and it makes you feel happy? Day-dreams can be controlled, so if you are having that sign, then that would probably answer your question. Do you feel a little jealous or maybe even akward when you see him with another girl flirting or messing around? If you don't have this sign, it doesn't mean that you don't like him still. Try paying attention to some things that you think about during the day at school or before you go to bed. It's also a pretty positive sign if he's the first person you think of when you wake up.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My bff (L) told me that my other bff (S) was talking about me. L tells me a lot when S is talking about me, and L told me I can't tell anyone, especially S that she told me or that I know. I know if I did tell S, L would get really mad at me and I don't need that right now. I don't want to loose her trust. So, my question is, what should I do? I'm tired of S acting all goody goody like shes the greatest friend in the world to me when she's not. Should I act differently toward her, or, mainly, how can I hint at what I know? Like say, "I HAAATE when people talk about me," hinting to her, but something better than that. Fives for answers. Thanks.
When you have more than one friend, everyone will always talk. Your friend L has probably talked about you too when S said something.

What you have to understand is that not everyone will tell you the truth. If you were to confront S about her talking about you, she would likely deny it and then it would lead to all of the drama that you are wanting to avoid.

And who knows, maybe L could be lying to you about S saying stuff about you. I know you may not be able to imagine this, but it happens.

Nobody likes to be talked about. But, what you should do is continue to be friends with these girls, but keep your distance. If L tries to tell you what S said, just explain to her that you don't want to hear it because it only causes hurt feelings. The only way that you'll see whether a friend is true or not, is for you to actually hear her say something about you, not L, not your boyfriend, not your crush, not your other friends. This is about you seeing whether a friendship is worthy or not.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: all of my best friends have boyfriends and theyre always so busy with them that i get left out of everything. theyve stopped being such good friends we dont really talk much and when i do they dont listen. its really stressful and i dunno im not jealous of them im happy they have someone but shouldnt they still care about me? they dont know what its like to be in my situation and when i try to explain it to them they just shut me out. what do i do?
I know that can probably be annoying when a friend gets a boyfriend and suddenly he becomes the center of attention.

But I'd probably wait until your friends come to you and keep taking every chance you can to spend time with them. Eventually they'll get sick of being around the same person and the "honeymoon" phase will be over.

It's probably not that your friends don't care about you, they are so drawn in to their boyfriends that they just don't really pay attention to what's happening around them. They probably don't really see that they've been hurting you. If you confronted them with your feelings, then the only thing you can do is wait and maybe try taking this opportunity to make new friends or talk to another friend that you havn't seen in a while.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i cant stand my mom no more she has to no everything. she is ruining my life.i hate her so much. it has got so bad to were i live wit my gram. so how do i get her out of my life?
Your mom may not be treating you right or you feel that she is being unfair but she will always be your mom.

Everyone has this time in their lives when they just can't connect or relate to their parents. And that usually does cause a lot of fighting. But it's a phase that everyone goes through, and if it isn't just a phase for you, then that's something you have to learn to deal with. A lot of teens think that they'll never get along with their parents ever again just because they had a few huge fights, but that isn't true. Screaming and fighting doesn't change the fact that you are family.

You can't shut your mom out of your life forever. Sometimes it really helps to be away from someone for a while when you feel hate toward them. It can really make you miss your mom and I know what you are thinking, but you will miss her after a while of living with someone else.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: well i just met this amazing guy and he and my best friend used to like be together but now they dont see each other anymore....well he has a girlfriend now but when we were in the car he started tickeling my leg and touching my hands and stuff...it didnt really bother me because i like him and all but the only thing is if my friend finds out what should i do?? and i told asked if he had a girlfriend and he said yeah but techniqully werent not because i only see her sometimes so if me and him did anything would that be like hes cheating on her with me?!?!ill rate high
This guy sounds like he has quite a few issues.

First off, you need to specify whether or not your best friend still likes this guy. If she does, then I would consider it wrong toward your friend's feelings if you and this guy were to date or be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Secondly, he has a girlfriend and yet he's flirting and messing around with you. Does that ring any bells? You think that he'll get with you and not eventually do the exact same thing with another girl? You will likely not be any different from this current girlfriend and your best friend.

So even if your friend was ok with you and her ex-boyfriend, why would you still want to be with him after denying his girlfriend and flirting with you?

-TheTeenGirl

bio
TheTeenGirl
My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.



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