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my best friend.. sorry its long
I am mad at my best friend. I don’t want to be but I am. She has a new friend that I don’t know I guess I like her and I’m fine that they are friends and all. But lately shes been ditching me for her other friend. We were supposed to hang out and she ditched me. she has ditched me twice in the last week for her. Now she is doing cheerleading with her, and before she started being friends with her new friend she used to tell me how she would never do it. shes changing a lot. I know I cant live without her because she has always been there for me and she knows more about me then I know about myself and vise versa. we are “not friends anymore” and its killing me. to tell you the truth all I really want from her is an apology and I guess we could move on, but I have a feeling she wont say shes sorry because she is the type of person who wont admit they are wrong. for the past two years she has been ditching me for her boyfriends and I haven’t done anything about it. Now that shes ditching me for “her new best friend” im really fed up with it and I did something about it, but it seems sooo wrong.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I have been through this myself lately.. where a friend who myself and my boyfriend helped a lot and then suddenly we didn't seem to exist to her anymore... Tell your friend how you feel and how much she is hurting you, but try and be diplomatic. I know that is very difficult to do, but in situations like this, diplomacy is the best option otherwise the whole situation escalates to a point where it doesnt need to be.
If your friend cannot accept how you feel, or understand that she is hurting you by doing what she is doing, then perhaps she is not the kind of friend you need. Even though she has been there for you when you need her and vice versa, friends should always make time for each other, and if she cannot do that, then she probably isn't the type of friend you first thought she was.
But I do suggest you try and talk to her and explain to her how she is making you feel. She might realise how she is upsetting you and apologise. And then you can all be friends together.
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I hate to say it but this sort of thing happens a lot when you get older and at some point, you too will change without even realising it.
The problem is that your friend has probably - in her mind - matured and in a sense 'left you behind'. This is not at all nice but it's something that does happen and it's normally the people that aren't worth your friendship that do it. The clues that she might develop into something less than a worthy friend have been there for some time. A true friend would never ditch you for a boyfriend, for example and I bet she wasn't always there for you when you truly needed her but expected you to be there for her when she was upset?
You probably won't get your apology and while you have every right to want and expect one, it won't even occur to her to give it.
It's always sad when a friend leaves us behind. It's happened to me before and it does really hurt but you move on and you get other friends. Good friends who will stay with us for years, at least but next time you will be able to recognise the warning signs and call your new friend/s on them before they end up doing the same as your now ex/friend.
More to the point, being downtrodden like this teaches you how to be a good friend. You know what it's like to feel left behind so now, when you start getting boyfriends that you want to be with all the time and so on, you won't forget the feelings of your friends like she did.
Try not to dwell on it too much. I know it's horrible to be treated the way you have been but try to accept that she just isn't the person, the friend you once had and try to move on and make new friends. Don't worry, the new friends you make will be much nicer than she has been and you will have a much stronger friendship with them for what you have been through.
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This happens to a lot of girls. They think that they'll be friends with someone forever, but then you start getting into middle and high school and they are changing in ways that aren't very positive. Everyone is suppose to change, but a lot of times these changes aren't good ones.
What you have to stop doing is convincing yourself that you can't live without this girl because you honestly can. I know that when you picture your life without her, it doesn't seem to make sense, but you probably will end up living your life without her and with new and better friends. If she's ditched you for this girl, she's obviously not having a lot of respect for your friendship with her anymore. This isn't a situation where it can't be solved with a confrontation, a lot of times they have to just go and live life the way they want it and they'll have to hit rock bottom to realize what they are doing isn't safe.
The part that really matters in this is that you don't change into who she is in order to keep being her friend. Don't sink yourself down to her level just so you can feel right because it doesn't feel right living without her. People will always change, and you have to decide whether that change is good or bad for you.
-TheTeenGirl
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Sometimes when we have best friends who spend a lot of time together we tend to start acting, dressing, talking, etc. like them. And then someone else new comes along and they seem to be better because they are different. Sometimes the thrill of being different wears off and sometimes it is time to move on. Best friends do grow apart from time to time. Some times a little space is good.
I grew apart from my best friend for 4 years and then we finally started talking again. Only because her so called best friend tried to steal her boyfriend. So now we talk almost everyday.
I think you should just sit down with your friend and find out what is going on. And try to be understanding. Don't wait for an apppology because that my never come. Dont let the little stuff get to you. Just voice your opinion and if she feels she needs to move on to different circles of friends dont try to stop her. Because eventually she will need a true friend, someone she can trust, when things dont work out the way she had hoped.
Good luck
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