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humorist-workshop
true love has made me think
i was in love with my bf. i loved him deeply and truely. then we broke up and it was over 5 months ago. im not a stocker or anything. but i still love him. i have had thoughts about being with him. i dream about him. but he hates me and wont even talk to me. i sometimes wonder if it would be easier to harm myself than to talk to him about it. i now think im fat and i weight 96 lbs. i think im ugly and i used to do modeling and got voted best looking out of my class. things i used to like about myself i now hate. i want to loose weight and cut myself and i fight with my mom and dad all of the time now. but it only makes it worse. then i wrecked my car and was seriously injured. then everytime i start to do good, i fuck up and get on the same track. can someone please help me
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hint: There are other guys out there. And if you're as pretty as you claim, you shouldn't have much trobule getting anyone else.
But, based on your claimed popularity, I doubt you would attract any guys that would ever really treat you right. Only saying that on pure observation and experience.
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Break-ups are a really hard thing to handle, and don't think that just because 5 months have passed that you should be over him. Getting over someone and coping with this takes a long time for a different person.
Your thoughts sound pretty dangerous and that break-up is causing you to think that just because he doesn't want to be with you anymore that you are unattractive and worthless when nothing could be further from the truth.
Even if this guy were talking to you and being nice about this break-up, you wouldn't ever get over him if you kept talking to him. The only way to start your life over from a nasty break-up is to stay away from the person you are getting over and having no contact with this person until you are healed. I know that it probably hurts really bad to have yourself convinced thst he hates you, but I think that he just wants to move on because he is the one who ended the relationship. It's a lot easier to be the one breaking up and moving on. And it's a lot easier to make the other person think that they don't care about them anymore since they are broken up.
Your best bet would be to talk to someone about this. When times get really rough, you won't believe how good it will feel that somebody cares and that you aren't alone. Try to understand that you are in control of yourself. What you think of you is what defines you as a person. If you think that you are unattractive in your mind, then you will appear that way on the inside. Don't let this break-up define you as an ugly unattractive person. You are still just as beautiful as you felt in that relationship. You are still just as loved as you felt in that relationship.
I think you seriously need to let your parents know what's happening because it's unfair to them that they have to deal with your ups and downs and have no idea or explaination of why it's happening. You don't have to go in to detail such as why you broke up, but at least tell them that you aren't with this guy and you are feeling depressed lately. True love can really make you think, but when you are thinking negatively about yourself, you are having unreal thoughts. These thoughts are lies and you have to realize that. You know that you are a beautiful girl too, you probably had really good feelings about yourself when you were in that relatiobship and now that he's gone, you feel like that's all changed. The only thing that has changed is that he is no longer in your life.
-TheTeenGirl
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I know this is going to sound weird, but I think that there is a chemical imbalance going on in your body right now. That's why these feelings of self-hatred and despair are surging through your system. You are associating these errant feelings with events such as your brake up with your boyfriend. Your symptoms sound like anorexia. You need to fix this problem first before you attempt to get back with your boyfriend. Getting back with your boyfriend right now would only temporarily fix the problem. You can't expect a relationship with another person to be the catalyst to fixing what is happening with you. That is unrealistic (a symptom 99% of the population suffer from). Only you can fix this. You have to start seeing the beauty w/in you and loving yourself first before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. Now the question is how can we get the ball rolling for this to happen? You do need to get some therapy. There are all kinds of groups, which are dedicated to anorexia. I've included some web sites below that can help you understand this condition and seek help. If none of these sites fit your needs simply put, "anorexia", in your browser and a plethora of sites will appear for you to choose from. You might even put anorexia in and add your state and town and see if a local support group comes up. You do need support.
Another contributing factor to your chemical imbalance is that you are not eating properly and are probably sensitive to the chemicals that are in the foods you do eat. One way to help yourself with this is to be choosey about the foods you eat. Start eating organically raised food such as vegetables, dairy, and meats. Making wiser choices in the foods that you eat will make a huge difference in your sense of well being. To help you understand a little bit as to how this works is...the chemicals you ingest trigger the adverse feelings that are poping up. You try to associate where these feelings are coming from. The only thing that comes to your (reasoning) mind would be events such as your break-up with your boyfriend. We are beings of reason and we try to associate were the feelings must be coming from. So, we latch onto events in our lives to explain these feelings and we become convenced these events must be the cause of these errant feelings. One of the biggest culprits in this chemical imbalance problem is MSG. There is a website below called the, Weston A Price Foundation, that will be very informative as far as how chemicals that are creating a lot of the harmful feelings and diseases that are now such an epidemic in this country. It was only 20 years ago that I never heard of someone wanting to cut themselves. Now it is rampant. Look at the articles on the Weston A Price Foundation. They are enlightening. I have included a copy of one of these articles about MSG below:
MSG Updates by Jack Samuels
In 1908, in Japan, Kikunae Ikeda invented the food ingredient, "monosodium glutamate." About one year later, with a partner, he formed a company, Ajinomoto, to produce the product. Monosodium glutamate did not appear in the United States to any degree until the late 1940s, following the Second World War. During the war, it had been noted that Japanese soldiers' rations tasted better than the rations used by our soldiers. The difference was believed to be "monosodium glutamate." Today, "monosodium glutamate" or its reactive component, "processed free glutamic acid," is found in almost all of the processed foods that are manufactured in the United States.In 1957, Lucas and Newhouse found that normal neonatal mice suffered acute degenerative lesions in the inner retina when "monosodium glutamate" was administered by feeding tube.1 In 1968, during a replication of this study at Washington University Medical School, St., Louis, Missouri, Dr. John W. Olney noted that, some of the mice had become grotesquely obese. He determined to sacrifice some of the mice to confirm his belief that lesions would be found in the hypothalamus region of the brain. Not only was his suspicion confirmed, but further testing indicated that there were also other neuroendocrine effects from the "monosodium glutamate." His findings were published in 1969.2 Dr. Olney, a National Academy of Science scientist who is credited for the voluntary removal of MSG from baby food in the 1970s, continues to publish research on the toxicity of glutamic acid, often using "monosodium glutamate."In 1968, the New England Journal of Medicine published a Letter to the Editor3 in which Ho Man Kwok, MD, asked for help in determining why he and his friends suffered reactions shortly after eating in some Chinese restaurants, though he never experienced such reactions when he lived in China. The journal titled the letter "Chinese Restaurant Syndrome," and researchers from around the country wrote the journal to suggest that Dr. Kwok and his friends' problem was an intolerance to MSG. One letter indicated that 30% of the population reacted to MSG.In 1969, apparently concerned with the bad reports regarding "monosodium glutamate," the glutamate industry formed a nonprofit organization to defend the safety of MSG, the International Glutamate Technical Committee. Later, in 1977, they increased their efforts with the development of a nonprofit subsidiary, The Glutamate Association, primarily operating as a public relations arm of the glutamate industry. In about 1990, the glutamate industry turned to the International Food Information Council (IFIC), another nonprofit industry-funded organization, to be their spokesman and to promote the safety of MSG along with the other products that they represent.The literature is clear in demonstrating that MSG is toxic to humans and that over 25% of the population suffer adverse reactions from MSG. In the opinion of this writer, the subject is only controversial because of the input of the three organizations mentioned above and because of research they have funded to discredit findings of others and to tell the story that the glutamate industry wants told, research that is flawed to the point of being worthless.4 "Monosodium glutamate" is approximately 78% processed free glutamic acid and 22% sodium (salt) and moisture, with about 1% contaminants. It is the processed free glutamic acid that causes people to suffer adverse reactions, and, unfortunately, there are over 40 food ingredients other than "monosodium glutamate" that contain processed free glutamic acid in varying amounts.5 Consequently, consumers refer to all processed free glutamic acid as MSG, regardless of the name of the ingredient.People differ in their tolerances to MSG, but typically always suffer similar reactions each time they ingest amounts of MSG that exceed their tolerances for the substance. Reactions experienced vary dramatically, as if MSG finds the weak link in the body.6 Typically, people will suffer reactions at approximately the same time each time they ingest amounts of MSG that exceed their tolerance levels. However, that time lapse can vary among people from immediately following ingestion of MSG up to 48 hours following ingestion. Use of alcohol or exercise prior to, during or following an MSG-containing meal will exacerbate an MSG reaction in many people. MSG-sensitive people will typically suffer similar reactions to aspartame. Neuroscientists believe that the young and the elderly are most at risk from MSG. In the young, the blood-brain barrier is not fully developed, exposing the brain to increased levels of MSG that has entered the bloodstream. The elderly are at increased risk because the blood-brain barrier can be damaged by aging, by disease processes, or by injury, including hypertension, diabetes, hypoglycemia, and stroke. Throughout life, the blood-brain barrier is "leaky" at best. MSG has now been implicated in a number of the neurodegenerative diseases, including ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's disease, multiple sclerosis and Huntington's disease. In general, the natural glutamic acid found in food does not cause problems, but the synthetic free glutamic acid formed during industrial processing is a toxin. In addition, when MSG is formed using hydrochloric acid the final product includes carcinogens.7 Since 1998, some of our agricultural crops have been sprayed with AuxiGro WP Metabolic Primer (AuxiGro), a product that includes 29.2% processed free glutamic acid (MSG). Produce sprayed with AuxiGro is not identified as being sprayed. Therefore MSG is back in baby food,8 without disclosure.As of this date, the use of free amino acid, such as the free glutamic acid present in AuxiGro, has not been approved by the National Organic Standards Board (NOSB) for organic crops. However, there are at least two organic fertilizers currently on the market that contain free amino acids. Both contain hydrolyzed protein. The hydrolysis of protein invariably results in the freeing of individual amino acids and if acids are used in the process, carcinogenic contaminants are produced. This means that some organic crops may contain free glutamic acid (MSG) and carcinogens.Recently, AuxiGro's manufacturer, Auxein Corporation, applied in California for approval of AuxiGro as a pesticide to be applied to grapes. California is the only state that has not approved AuxiGro for use on crops as a pesticide. When the California Department of Pesticide Regulation received many letters of objection from people located throughout the country, the Auxein Corporation changed its strategy and obtained approval for AuxiGro to be used on grapes as a fungicide. Previously, AuxiGro was approved in California as a fertilizer for use on tomatoes. My advice to you is to do your best to eliminate MSG from your diet. You will feel better. That means avoiding all processed foods. My advice to investigators of school violence is to investigate the effects of toxins in children's diets. There are high levels of MSG in soy products and seasoning mixes used in school lunch programs, fast foods and snack foods. My advice to growers is to avoid using fertilizers and pesticides that contain hydrolyzed protein and/or free glutamic acid, often listed on product labels as L-glutamic acid. Use of such products will only create a backlash against the use of all chemicals in agriculture.
References1.
Amer. Med. Ass. Arch. Opthalmol. 58: 193 1957
2. Science 164: 719-721 May, 9, 1969
3. Volume 278, 796
4. See Accountability in Research peer reviewed article reproduced on
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About the AuthorJack Samuels and his wife, Adrienne Samuels, PhD, are founders of Truth in Labeling, a nonprofit organization dedicated to accurate labeling of MSG and the removal of MSG from use in agriculture. For further information, see their website at www.truthinlabeling.org.
Keep in mind that this is only ONE of the myriad of chemicals that is permeating the foods that you and the majority of Americans are eating. You start to help yourself by seeking therapy and making enformed choices in what you DO eat.
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FIX YOUR CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND EMOTIONAL CONTROL WILL PUT YOU ON YOUR WAY TO HAVING WHATEVER YOU WANT. GOOD LUCK!
Namaste,
LULABELLE
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umm just because you broke up does not mean you have to cut yourself!!! that is not good for you at all!!!! u need to go and talk to a guidence counselor. because harming yourself will only make it worse and not better. so go and talk to a guidence councelor!!!
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I can't direct you towards the right track - you have to do that yourself. But I do understand where you're coming from. Don't take what I'm about to say offensive.
You loved him a lot obviously but it's over. You cannot change what has happened in the past you need to move on and be more independent. If people know that they can bring you down, they will. They will step all over you. You've got to prove to yourself and to everyone else that through all the rough times you can still hold your own. If you have a role model or look up to someone I bet that person is strong and when they fall they can pick theirself up again. In life if you go through a stuggle and can't seem to get yourself over it you will fail. You are going to meet a ton of guys in your lifetime. While it's true that can't replace him it's best to find someone who will share that same love that you have for them with you. If you hold on to what you had you will be a wreck. Don't do that to yourself.
You aren't fat, and I bet you're gorgeous. You did have confidence, why did you lose it? Because you broke up with him? No, you can't let that lower your confidence. If it were meant to be it would of happened. He isn't doing this to you, you are doing it to yourself. If you try to tell yourself that you can overcome this I bet you will. I'm not going to lie --- it will take a while. Maybe ever months or a year. But think about the postive rather than the negative. Be thankfulf or what you have. Make a list of what you have. Such as your family is alive and healthy or that you have all your body parts. Something like that. Because there are people out there who have it worse and if they can manage I'm sure you can too! =D
<3 Shannon
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