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Hey, I'm Elana... I'm 15 years old and I love to help people.. I know I know, everyone says that on this site, but I can be pretty good at giving advice sometimes. I'm into lots of sports, tennis, softball, and my new thing... Track, haha... I also dance, play piano (obviously) my saxophone (love it) and go online... A LOT! lol Random stuff about me: I'm 5'1 and a 1/2".. I LOVE music..favorite bands are: switchfoot, green day, rooney, foo fighters, stone temple pilots, and any jazz music, my friends and family mean so much to me, things don't always go the way I want them to..(when does it ever work like that?) bowling rocks my world!! haha even if I suck! :) I'm extremely energetic and bouncy as my friends know, and I like to laugh, at anything...
If you need any advice at all just drop a question for me or IM me and I'll try to answer as best I can... thanks!
~Lana
advice
After reading this, I know that I will get a few comments telling me that my younger sisters' life is like Tracey's life in the movie Thirteen.
I want to give background by saying that I am now 14, and my sister is 13. When I was 12, I was really in love with guys, and I had a boyfriend and stuck with him, but I did only hang out with about 2 or 3 guys, but I was young, when there was no kissing, or raging hormones. I had my first peck on the lips with my boyfriend, but went no further because I was way too young.
When I reached 13, and my sister was 12, I noticed that her behavior with boys was much different than mine. She had got a boyfriend that had gotten high all the time and was nasty.
Now, my dad didn't like this at all, but he had no control over it because of his divorce with my mom, so after he was gone, our family lost its control.
After a while, she stopped dating the guy and dated this new guy she met, I knew nothing about him. But soon, I found out that she had made out with him already. 12 year old girl. Soon, we began to see where the influence was coming from, one her friends she met, a girl that had a nasty behavior with guys.
My mom didn't seem to want to stop this, she was busy living her own life, as I was angry, and telling her how horrible shes been towards her kids, my dad was on her case about it too.
My sister has the worst attitude ever, always telling my mom to shut up and ordering her around. I didn't take her crap, if she dared to order me around, I'd just tell her to shove it, of course my mom would defend her.
Shes now 13, and my mom knows that shes tried her first cigarette. She spreads rumors, lies and has caused so much pain in our family.
So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is, that nobody wants to see their younger sister spend her life this way, my mom is still doing nothing about this, my dad still has no control, and I want something done about it. Would anyone know a possible way that I could fix this, or should I watch her pay the price of her own actions?
[NOTE: I can't talk to my mom, nobody could even guess how many battles of just trying to talk to her I've been with her, and there must be more shes doing because a friend told me that theres a lot of things shes been doing that I don't know about, I've asked her and she won't tell me.]
That's so horrible.. I've seen it happen too among my friends. People can change so quickly. Anyway- I really think you need to talk to your dad. As someone else already said maybe he can go to court and get custody over you guys as well as still seeing your mom. Even if your sister is acting this way and causing so much pain, she's still your sister. And as hard as it may be, you have to talk to her. Show her what her life could do to her. Doing all the stuff that it sounds like she's been doing already at this age, it's just gonna get worse... You're her big sister so talk to her. Make her understand what you feel. But don't enforce your beliefs on her. Let her know you're always there to listen and help her out when she needs it. Good luck!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
well theres this guy at my school and ive always really liked him. but hes one of these guys that everybody likes and is really popular so people just think hes out of their legue and so forget about him. well that what i thought anway but now ive found out that he likes me. he asked someone for my msn address and so ive been talking to him a lot. then he asked me for my number so we have been txting each other a lot. and the thing he has been saying are seriously flirty! and sayin what we could do when we are together. but heres the thing he hasnt asked me out or anything so we arent actually an item or anything. and my mate has asked him if hes goin to ask me out but he just said not yet because he wanted to get to know me but now im thinking does he just want to be friends? does he really like me? please help me! i rate high if its good!
It doesn't mean he wants to just be friends, no.. he might want more. I've heard guys say they have feelings for girls but they wanna get to know them better or wanna try it out first on a date and see how it goes. Just keep up flirting, I know it's frustrating waiting around, maybe you could make the first move :) Ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. I think you may have something here. Goooood luck! Hope everything works out for you hun!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
ok i get this report about how i do in school each week. and when i 1st started getting it my dad said that if i get ONE bad thing on it than i am grounded for the whole weekend...no phone. no computer. no friends. no tv. no music. and then something bad was on it and i really dont wanna b grounded this weekend so i told him i forgot it somewhere and that i cant find it so he told me that he wanted to see it on monday and i was free this weekend but he said that if i forget it on monday or if its bad than i get grounded for 2 weeks...and in the next two weeks ill be going to 6 flags and the kiss concert so i dont know what to do because i dont know if he would take those 2 things away from me because he payed for them both..what should i do? be free for this weekend and have a good time like a plannned?? or risk being grounded for 2 weeks..but then again he might forget..please answer! soooon! ill rate.
Just talk to him now, before your weekend.. maybe he'll say you can't do stuff this weekend but you can still go to 6 flags and the kiss concert. Explain to him that you try your hardest all the time and you were just having a rough week or whatever the problem was. Ask him if he can give you another chance and promise to study more for the next test. Good luck!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
do you know a good way to strengthen your inner thighs, and to lose belly fat?
Well honestly, I hate these questions, but I'll try to help you anyway... to strengthen your inner thighs, I think lunges are the best things. They're kinda hard to explain but here goes, take a huge step forward and bend your legs but don't let your back knee touch the ground. Keep taking steps like that till you feel like you can't do anymore. We did these in track, and boy did they feel good.
To lose belly fat, the obvious choice would be crunches and sit ups, but not everyone likes those. You could jog every other day for 10 minutes. (And no I don't mean on a treadmill, but you could if you have to...) Running will also strengthen your thighs. Sorry, I don't have anymore tips. Just try to get out and exercise a little everyday and you'll be so much healthier.
Hope I helped!
~Lana
My parents fight a lot and my best friend keeps telling me that they're going to get divorced, and it really hurts my feelings. I don't think that they are going to get divorced because I know how they act around each other, but it just hurts my feelings when my friend says that. What should I do?
Explain to your friend that it hurts you a lot when she says stuff like this. The last thing you'd want is for them to get a divorce. It's really inconsiderate of her to say those things. Tell her you need comforting when you're upset over stuff like this and you don't need more upsetting news. And you're right, you know your parents better than she does, so who's she to judge their fighting? Everybody fights... I'm sure you're right and your parents aren't getting a divorce. For now though talk to your friend, she shouldn't say those things...
Hope I helped!
~Lana
ok, i like this guy and im pretty sure he likes me to-but i don't know, should i ask him or just tell him i like him. P.S- i know ,from reading earlier questions, you think you should just go ahead and let your feeligs out-but i am shy when it comes to tellng guys my feelings. thanks
Yeah, I know I do say it a lot to people, but I know the feeling too, when you want to tell them but you're scared. The only way to know for sure if he likes you though is to ask him or tell him how you feel first. If you wanna ask him say, would you ever consider me as more than a friend? If you feel like you could work up enough courage say to him, I think I like somebody.. and if he seems interested and asks who, keep dropping little hints until he realizes it's him. Good luck! I know telling guys how you feel is tough, but you can do it, I promise.. otherwise you might miss your chance with this guy! lemme know how it goes..
Hope I helped!
~Lana
Okay, well.. so last summer I met a guy. Well, I actually met him last spring. We live so many miles away from eachother... and it's hard to bare. I met him through a family friend, and well before I even started talking to him I knew I liked him. It was amazing. When I saw him in summer we clicked. Well, atleast I thought we did. I made a new sn, but before that he had never IMed me on mine. Recently, I called him. And it was wierd. He didn't recognize me at first. Do you think it was because he didn't expect it? Because we were close it was wierd that he acted that way. And another thing is... I don't know the next time I'll see him. I mean Im sure I will one day, just no telling when. And I know it wont necesarily work blah blah blah... but I'm not really looking for that sort of advice. What is this disgusting feeling in me whenever I try liking someone else. I feel like he's the only one. And I guess it's because we share the same morals... I like the way his voice sounds (wierd), and he's plain sweet. Maybe quirky, different... but he's cute. And I personally like him. What is this feeling I have for him? And what should I do (in general not even involving him directly)?
I'm guessing he just didn't expect to hear from you... If you want you could call him again and give him your new sn (if you haven't already done that..) and then just IM him next time he's on or what-not. Maybe keep talking to him on the phone. You definitely like him a lot.. it may just be a crush, but it could be more. You don't have to tell him right away, wait and get to know him more.. You and him could both find you're perfect for each other.. It does kinda suck he lives so far away, but maybe you can arrange to meet him again soon. That might spark something too! Good luck though!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
Okay this is a really long really complicated situation. I just turned 19 and I started my first relationship about 4 months ago and even though it's long distance it's going extremely well. My bf and I are truly perfect for each other so there should be no worries right? Well, I'm finishing up my first year of college and I've decided that I want to switch majors. The college I'm at right now doesn't offer the best program for what I want to switch to so I began looking for a different college. My bf suggested a college that is only about 15 minutes from his and I got mad at him because I thought that he didn't care about my education. I was so wrong. The college he found is perfect for me. It's inexpensive and offers exactly what I want. Going there would make it a lot easier for my bf and I as well and we could become even closer. My mother however is completely against my going there. She doesn't think I made the decision for the good of my education. I'm not doing as well in school this semseter because I'm taking much more difficult classes and my mother has decided that it is b/c I talk to my bf too much. I find this ridiculous because I'm not doing horribly by any standards and I talked to him just as much last semester. She has taken my cell phone away from me several times and won't let me communicate with my bf when I am home. She doesn't like my bf which doesn't help either because she insults him constantly in my presence. She tells me that if I don't get a 3.0 she will not let me work where I want this summer b/c the pay isn't high enough and I will have to take an entire semester off and work. If I do get the 3.0 she tells me that I have to come back to the college I am at now for one more semester before I can leave. The problem is that I don't think she will let me go to the college that I want to go to anyways. My bf and I are stressed to say the least and the situation is causing some tension in our relationship. My bf keeps telling me that I should move out this summer and live with a good friend of mine. She's fine with it, but I'm not sure if I should do that. I am going to work where I want this summer no matter what and if accepted to the college I want to go to I will attend. Moving out seems like a good choice because then I can make my own decisions, but if I do move out my mother won't support me financially and I will not have use of my family's minivan to get places. Is it worth seeing my bf whenever I want all summer, having the job I want, going to the college I want right away, and being generally happier if I lose my family, lose all financial support, have to bum rides off of people, lose the chance of possibly being given my own car, and put my relationship with my bf on the line? I know it sounds like money over happiness, but I do love my family and losing that much financial support is a big deal. Should I trust that my bf loves me enough to deal with the stress of waiting till next spring for us to be together or should I take his advice to move out of a bad sitiation? Will moving out do any real harm that wouldn't end up being done anyways? Will staying with my family just prolong my agony or could my mother change her mind? It's really a lot to think about and I'm hoping that someone outside of the situation might be able to sift through everything and see what should be done a little more clearly.
Alright, well I'm not gonna tell you what to do.. but I'll try to give you my best opinion from what you've told me.. Moving out sounds like a good idea, but you are only 19. It would be very hard to keep up financially, especially if you got your own place. This is one way to deal with your mother, but I don't generally think it's the best way. I think honestly you need to talk to her. And I'm sure you have said this already, but explain that staying in the college you're in now isn't going to further your education. You picked a new major, which is a pretty big deal. You want to go to this other college to expand your knowlege (as corny as that sounds) Try to strike a bargain with her. 3.0 and you get to go to the college you want next semester, and she gets to pick your job. Ok now here's the hard part.. if she says no, listen. Don't try to defy her, show her that you're almost an adult and you're not going to give up so easily, but do it in a way that's not tantrum-y. lol Next you need to talk to your boyfriend. I'm almost positive he'll wait till next spring or maybe sooner, if your mom gives in a little. He needs to understand that your first priority is your family and your work. He'll get it that you need this 3.0 and I'm sure he'll stand by you. Oh and maybe instead of moving out consider living in the dorms on campus of your college. Well good luck!! and please, let me know how it goes!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
I need some good advice. I am homeschooled and I would like to get into something like football. This years been rough and im considering going back to public school for 10th grade. If I go to public school though my parents are afraid that my attitude might change to match the people around me (which is very true and might happen and it'll be worse). Should I go back to public school and stay caught up, play sports, and be around other people. Or should I stay homeschooled and not be influenced by the people around me?
Well personally, I'm not homeschooled, so I think you should try to go to public school if you've been homeschooled now for awhile... I think a part of life is being influenced by other people, in good ways and bad. You have to learn how to deal with situations from other people. How to not be influenced by the bad ones.. So yes, I think a classroom environment would be good.. especially at your age. And sports are a major plus! :) Good luck!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
sometimes i get these feelings that i really want a boyfriend but i don't like anybody at the moment. i don't know what to do- i feel lonely sometimes and i need to be with someone i love or that loves me...NOT my family
I know what you mean.. when you get these feelings just remember you have friends and that's what they're for. (I know not that kind of love.. but it really doesn't matter, any love is good when you feel lonely..) Also remember you don't need someone to be happy. You need to realize that you can be happy just being by yourself...If that doesn't help though, hang out in a group, flirt with some of your guy friends, maybe try to meet some new people so you can start to like someone. But don't feel unloved, cause you know that's not true at all! If you need to talk IM me..
Hope I helped a little!
~Lana
ok, here goes, i have known this guy for 3 yearsnow, we have always had something even tho he has been engaged and i have had a long term bf who is his mate, now we are both single , and have been getting together on the sly, (we cant let too many people know yet as my ex and him ae good fiends) but all our mutual friends know, we are the best of friends and he says he loves me, but the other day he asked me to get a number from a message in his phone , and i saw a message to his ex fiance (who he apparantly hates now) saying he missed her, it was just a random bit at the end of a normal message, do ya think im right to be a bit worried?? sorry this was so long!!!!
Well since I'm only 15, I'm probably not the best person to answer this question, but that's ok.. I don't think you have a real reason to worry.. Although you two are best friends, sometimes when you're around someone for as long as he was with his ex, you miss their conversation and personality. It probably has nothing to do romantically. He just might miss her as a friend. If you're really concerned though maybe ask him if he still has feelings towards his ex.. something of that sort. Good luck!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
Hi im vanessa. im 14 years old and i am in 8th grade in ohio. My qwestion is that i dont really have any frends in my school. school will be over in 3 monthes so im kinda happy. all my friends go to the other school acadamies so i see them on the weekends. i dread going to school without friends. sicne the year is almost over should i just try to get through it? i will be seeing my other friends from the other school in my secondary school (highschool) so i am excited. Help?
Well if you've made it this far into the school year try to stick it out to the end... 3 more months and then you can leave and go on to be with your friends.. I'm sorry you don't have any in your school now, that really is a sucky situation. You've probably tried to make friends with people already too, but don't give up. Make small talk with someone or join a sport. For now though do something every weekend with your friends and that'll keep you going. I do something every friday night with my friends and that makes me happy, so if I'm having a bad week that's what I have to look forward to. You can do it! If you need to talk I'm here, but good luck! :)
Hope I helped!
~Lana
I have found myself snapping at people calling them complete morons and other such insults. I do it when I am frustrated or even slightly annoyed. I have no patience for anyone it seems. Later on I regret saying such things. I've said these things to friends and family, and even my boyfriend ,whom I adore. But when the moment hits me it seems I can't prevent the waspish comments from bursting out. How do I explain to these people why I say such things? I've hurt their feeling and it really upsets me. I don't mean to be mean. It seems i just can't help it.
Oh my gosh, I know exactly what you mean! I do this often too, to people who get on my nerves. I know you're not trying to be mean, but before you say things just start thinking.. will this hurt the person? I've started to re-word the way I think, which makes it so much easier. Most of the time there's a nicer way to say things and if you get in that habit it'll work. Just think before you say. But don't worry it's still ok to say something mean once in awhile, no one's perfect! For now just start small, bite your tongue before something mean comes out. Good luck!
I hope this helped a little!
~Lana
my friend who is in 5th grade is really bored and looking for a site to go on. can someone give me a fun site that's age appropriate? thanks!
ooh ooh I know!! haha my friend and I go on this one site all the time. Yes it's a little too young for us, but a fifth grader would have fun. :) www.candystand.com
Enjoy!
~Lana
I have so many friends, I can really walk down the hall every day saying hi to everyone. Even though its great to have friends, I always feel like what I really need is a best friend. But thats not possible for me. I have had so many BFF and lost them.
And i have friends that I just realized only liked me because I was popular, and besides, i'm not really that popular I just have popular friends. When ever I hang out with with my friends, for partner things, i'm left with the person I dont even know.
But my question is, how can I let my friends know I feel this way? Will it even do anything?
Alright well I think honestly you wouldn't be popular if people didn't really like you, but I'm gonna try to make you feel better..
I know what you mean about losing best friends but keep trying, I finally found someone who I've been best friends with now for about 3 years and I know he'll always be there for me. Even if they're short lived close friendships they're still so important and so meaningful. You really just have to find the right person, but they're there don't worry...
So I guess my real answer to your question should be, yes! tell your friends what you're feeling.. You feel like you aren't as close to them as you'd like to be, or they leave you out, or whatever. Just talk to them. Tell them what's bothering you. It most likely will make a difference in how they act..
Good luck with that, and if you ever need to talk I'm here.
Hope I helped!
~Lana
thank you for helping me before, about the likeing someone thing! it kind of helped:no offense to you!! but i still can't tell its an on and off feeling what should i do?
If you reeeallly can't tell.. then you shouldn't do anything.. I mean again, I don't really know the details, but if let's say the person asks you out, that wouldn't be fair to them if you didn't honestly like them. Also if you like someone else at the same time it wouldn't work.. I really don't know what else to tell you. You just have to go with your gut feeling on liking someone. For now though keep hanging out with them, flirt, talk to them a lot.. maybe eventually you'll be able to figure out your feelings...Thanks for the feedback though, and I'm glad a helped a little!
Hope I helped again!
~Lana
I can't decide if i like someone. How can i tell? If you can, Please help me out!Tnk
Ok well this is a little hard to answer, but here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you like someone or not:
Do they make you smile?
Do they make you laugh?
Are they someone you're comfortable with?
Are you happy when you're around them?
Are they the first thing on your mind in the morning? and the last thing at night?
Do you find yourself thinking of things to talk to them about, just so you can talk to them?
Do you miss them when you don't get to see them?
Can you picture yourself with them? (that's important)
ok I think that's about it.. if you want to give me more details leave me another question in my inbox... you usually can just tell when you like someone.. but good luck!
Hope I helped!
~Lana
okay, there is this girl in one of my classes and she talks THE WHOLE TIME!!!! it drives me crazy! and she'll tell me the most randomest things and stuff I DONT CARE ABOUT! and i'm one of those people who can't hurt peoples feelings, so i want her to shut up w/o hurting her feelings! how? and if i can't do it nicly, tell me, because it would be worth it too shut her up if i had to be mean!
Well try it nicely first, just say,"Shh, I wanna hear this.. sorry I can't talk right now." If that doesn't work you're gonna have to be a little meaner. Just honestly straight out tell her to shut up, tell her that when she talks through the whole class it really gets on your nerves, so could she please not do that.. (That's even a mild version actually..) Good luck! Try to be nice first, if that doesn't work time to be a little bit harsher..
Hope I helped!
~Lana
Hey! If You have a favorite quote, or an inspiring something to share: please do!
I'll rate all 5's! Promice:)
-*KeLs*-
"The most important thing is to feel your music, really feel it and believe it."
~Ray Charles
"In the end everything turns out ok, if it's not ok, it's not the end.."
"Death is but a door, time is but a window, I'll be back"
(That ones kinda creepy it's from ghostbusters!)
This is kinda like the answer before mine somewhere but: Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Hope I helped! (If you want anymore, I've got tons from songs.)
~Lana
Ok so there is this girl...we can call her Rana and rana got me mad so i hit her in the eye with a round object. AND this is most def a sign should i just tell her that i want her to be blind? PLz help
Omg not you too!! you're a loser now! Yes talk to her.. haha tell her she needs to be blind.. then she could play the drums in band and be awesome at it!!! Yeah.. maybe Dana, I mean "Rana" should go blind.. oooh let's team up! muahaha
(would this round object resemble a ping pong ball?) Good luck!
(I luv ya too!)
~Lana