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Blurting rude things out
I have found myself snapping at people calling them complete morons and other such insults. I do it when I am frustrated or even slightly annoyed. I have no patience for anyone it seems. Later on I regret saying such things. I've said these things to friends and family, and even my boyfriend ,whom I adore. But when the moment hits me it seems I can't prevent the waspish comments from bursting out. How do I explain to these people why I say such things? I've hurt their feeling and it really upsets me. I don't mean to be mean. It seems i just can't help it.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Etiquette?
you could be possessed :- you should see a doctor
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I can understand where you’re coming from. I have the same problem, I lose my patience easily and sometimes I just blurt out thoughts that I didn't necessarily mean. The trouble is that there is really no "set" way to fix it. You just have to try and practice biting your tongue (not literally of course.) Although, I sometimes I did gently bite my tongue to help me from blurting things out. (LOL) My advice to you is to try to take deep breaths and try to keep your cool when you feel your losing your patience. It's one of those things "Practice makes perfect". Good luck! If you ever need to talk, feel free to AIM me!
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the same thing happenes to me its like not in control . .
drink less coffee
get more sleep and if thys doesnt work go see a therapist
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When you are annoyed and/or angry and you know that you are prone to snapping at people you don't want to hurt, avoid them. If that is unrealistic, tell them beforehand, "I'm really stressed right now, so if I snap at you, I'm really sorry." And when you do it, apologize instantly.
When someone is particularly annoying you, hold your tounge and thank about not snapping. Think before you speak whenever you can.
I do the same thing, but I'm learning not to.
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Oh my gosh, I know exactly what you mean! I do this often too, to people who get on my nerves. I know you're not trying to be mean, but before you say things just start thinking.. will this hurt the person? I've started to re-word the way I think, which makes it so much easier. Most of the time there's a nicer way to say things and if you get in that habit it'll work. Just think before you say. But don't worry it's still ok to say something mean once in awhile, no one's perfect! For now just start small, bite your tongue before something mean comes out. Good luck!
I hope this helped a little!
~Lana
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The best thing to do is obviously to train yourself out of this habit. It's leading you to trouble. If you are annoyed and impatient often, pick a day and just be with yourself. Watch a movie, go shopping, make yourself dinner, alone time helps you and trains you to think and act like you would when someone else is around. It also lowers your stress level.
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Because you aren't really angry at them and having a verbal fight on purpose, I wonder if you've put yourself into a sort of mental rut where you just respond this way automatically?
You don't mean to cause hurt, and you know what you're saying is hurtful. That's a very important point. You regret what you say but your brain just supplies hostile answers to every stimulus.
I'd say this suggests your mind, in general, is just plain agitated. Aggression stems from threat. This threat could be anything, internal or external. If you're stressed, your mind would percieve any distraction as more stress--a threat to your well-being. If it's an unconscious personal space issue, you might feel physically threatened by proximity.
My suggestion is steps to slow your response. In effect, to curb your snappish temper.
You should start by simplifying your thoughts. You might find your thoughts are going a hundred miles an hour, or that you feel overloaded or irritable. Spend a little time alone and just listen to your thoughts. How does a sentence of your internal monologue run?
For example, right now I'm thinking, "I have so much stuff to do once I go to class have to finish that damn project by Thursday good thing he gave us extra time because I have those three other projects to do by Friday but I don't have a single idea for them and it's supposed to rain tomorrow I don't want to have to wear my long coat and I thought spring was supposed to be warmer..."
Listen to what you're thinking, and then slowly simplify it.
For my thoughts, I would make a list of the actual subjects I'm thinking about.
Class. Project for this class. Friday's projects. Rain. Warm spring.
Then look at what you're pondering. Mostly, I'm thinking about things that I'm worried about, or aggravating me. So the theme of this list, or this thought, is Worry.
Once you know what you're doing in your mind, start to replace these items with more positive ones. For mine, I'd write:
I have a good idea for a project. I'll have time in class to finish my work. I have enough groceries right now.
See, those are the things I SHOULD be thinking about.
Go through your thoughts and start to simplify those long sentences. Break them down into single words.
Once you can do this, start doing it with your speech. This is a technique used for people who talk compulsively, but it is one that gives you control over your speech.
When you know your thoughts are on Angry, or Worry, or Guilty, or whatever theme they're on, just hold that single word in your mind.
After this, when someone talks to you, and you want to snap at them, remember that word. Think of that single word that you've been using. By concentrating on that word, you'll give yourself time to respond how you should. If you're still upset, you can say something like, "I'm Angry right now... give me ten minutes," or "I'm Worried about stuff, can we talk in a while?"
Later, after doing this for a while, hold that word in your mind, and then replace it with a word like Calm or Quiet or Control--whichever holds the most power for you. You'll find yourself replying in the way you command yourself to.
In fact, the whole thing is a case of keeping a tight hold on your mind and tongue instead of letting it snap.
I know this has been a long answer, but I hope at least some of it helps. If you try it and it doesn't work, try something else. You can control your outbursts--I have a temper myself, and I always think of horrible things to say, but most of the time I can manage to hold it back.
Good luck.
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you have to learn to control your unpatence
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Maybe you should get some help with anger management! You just explain to them why you do it.Hope for the best.You still hurt their feelings after all and some may not put up with it forever.Try to avoid whatever it is that seems to set you off.
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Hm... I think I used to have a similar problem. It's possible that you have been bottling up your emotions like I was. That's always an issue.
The best thing to do is start by taking a long look at your life, and trying to figure out what, if anything, is making you so angry or otherwise stressed out. If you find such an issue, try to think of a way to either resolve it, or otherwise keep it from bugging you. It's possible that it is a number of things causing this. Be paitent, both with others and with yourself.
If none of this works, it's possible that you have a medical condition. Medicine might help, even if you do not have a serious condition. However, I do not reccomend mood-altering medications except in the most extreme of cases, and your case (from the information provided) does not sound extreme.
I hope any of this helps. Good luck.
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Hey, I know what you mean about being "snappy." I would think the best way for you to control this outlash of words would be to find another way to vent your frustration. Working out or some type of physical activity like that can help to lower stress and frustration. If working out isn't for you, then maybe you need to let go of some of the stimulants causing your frustration. In actuality, there's a good chance that this is just something that will last a little while and eventually stop. Friendly advice from Caleb.
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Well tell them that you don't mean it and sometimes you have these mooods! But if your doctor lets you, you can take medications that help you calm down. My dad uses Silexa (sp) because he has his moments when he just snaps at everyone!<333
♥ Always,
Maria
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Gosh I know how that is! Tell them exacly that! Tell them that you didnt mean any of those things and that you have been going through a lot of mood changes. Let them know it was only because you had a bad day or something.. Sorry if not much help! x0 ` __
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well im n0t sure, but maybe y0u have tarets? n0t sure.. xox ambs xox
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i dont think you have told us everything here......there must be something deep down bothering you or on your mund, until you know what that is these outbursts will continue. you have to find and confront your fears!!
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telll them what u just said ! good luck!x0x
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