about

I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)

advice

ok i had a dream that i was a mermaid who wanted to go to live on land so when i did i was caught by an older lady and she put me to court. and i kept on blowing my cover like my fins were peeking out of my skirt and when i opened the water it was squirting into a waterfall and i was turning into a sea creature. i felt really lonely and i just remember wanting to go back to the sea.....

then i woke up and fell back asleep and had another dream that i was at a grocery store with my friend and we saw this really cute register guy and we were so excited but he didnt like us back and we were getting a poster of him and then we found out that the poster was stolen so we had to give it back. the peculiar thing about this dream was that everything was dark and dreary. like this horror movie. like there were clouds and everything was empty except 2 cars. i really wanna know what this means!

Sorry I haven't been on Advicenators much. I just checked it today.

Well, your first dream, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with an insecurity of yours. The way your "fins" kept peeking out, may represent an insecurity or a secret that is coming to the surface. You may not want people to know something, but it is getting hard to hide it anymore. There are some problems you are going through right now, and you want to avoid them. (Like when you wanted to go back to the sea, this means, you just want to run away from the problem.)

Your second dream may also have to do with a problem of yours. Have you been rejected by anyone lately? Maybe you just feel rejected in general, or you fear rejection. Since the guy didn't like you back, and then everything was dark and dreary, that might mean that you are feeling depressed or rejected about something in your life. Maybe you are scared of something that's going on in your life right now, because of the horror movie effect in your dream.

Hope I helped.
-Johanna

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Hey Dudes and Dudettes ,

Okay I asked a question before but I said it wrong this is what I ment is that im skinny and all like skinny skinny but I dont really have the curves like body curves and stuff and I was wondering what can you do to get curves like a models body does. If you know what I mean.

Thanks ,
Betty.

Um, hate to break it to you, but you are born with curves. Your bone structure cannot be changed, with any exercises or diets. Possibly plastic surgery could work though it's not a good idea. Most models actually don't have curves, some do, but most are very thin, tall, flat chested, with straight hips. It's not a bad thing at all. Be happy with your body, because there's no way to change the structure. However, to create the ILLUSION, that you have curvy hips, maybe try wear a very tight pencil skirt, or wear a big belt high up on your torso, like right under your bra-line. These can help create the illusion.

And yes, I'm aware that you're probably going to rate me a 2 because this was not the answer you wanted, but we cannot lie to you and tell you that you can make curves suddenly appear, because you can't. Well, maybe if you ate a lot and gained 100 pounds, ha.

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has anyone used an ab product such as
the ab lounge or one of those ab balls
and do they actully work

This is funny, because I am doing the ab lounge right now!
YES! The ab lounge works very well.
It's so much easier than real sit ups,
and you will see results in a couple days.
I don't know about the ab balls though.

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I need to learn to speak some French by Friday.

I know you're thinking "haha yeahh right" but it's important. My Dad invited a new person from his job to come have dinner with us on friday. They have 2 kids that are 12 & 14... they just moved here from France & don't speak any English at all. I speak Spanish & English fluently but I don't know any French. I really need to be able to communicate at least a little. Any phrases/yes or no questions/greetings would be most helpful! Please, no online translators.
[if you can help me sound out the words, that would be amazing!]
Thank you soo much!

The words in the parenthesis are how you pronounce the phrases.

Bonjour. [Bon-jur]: Hello

Comment vas-tu? [Cah-mon vah too?]: How Are You?

Je m'appelle (insert your name here.)[Jah mu-pell] : My name is ___________.

Tu as faim? [Too ah fahm] : Are you hungry?

Tu joue les sport? [Too jue-ay lays sport?]: You play sports?

Je ne parle pas Francais bien. [Jeh neh parl pah Fran-say bee-on.]: I don't speak French well.

Quelle animal est ta favori? [Kel anee-mal ay ta fav-or-ee?] : Which animal is your favorite?

Quel cours as-tu? [Kel core ah too?] : What classes do you have? (in school.)

Quel genre de musique aimes-tu? [Kel john-ruh day mew-zeek Em too?] : What kind of music do you like?

Tu aimes le ecole? [Too Em le eh-cole] : Do you like school?

Basically, you can create all kinds of sentences, using just two little words: Tu aimes. These two words mean, "You like." You can put any word after these, to create a sentence. There are other ways to ask a question, but this is the easiest. All you have to do is say, Tu aimes _______? For example, Tu aimes le football? This means, "You like soccer?" You must make sure you are asking this as a question, and not just flatly stating it.

And if you don't understand something they say, just say: Desolee. Je ne comprends pas. [ Des-oh-lay. Jeh neh com-prend pah.] which means "Sorry, I don't understand."

And here are some things they might say to YOU:

Et toi? [Ay twah?] : And you?/ What about you?

J'aime ________. [Gem ______.] : I like ________.

C'est _________. [Say.] : It's __________.


And more responses you could say to them:

Genial! : [Jean-yal] : Cool/Awesome!

Intressant! [In-treh-sont] : Interesting.

Bien! [Bee-on] : Good!

Je suis bien. [Jeh swee bee-on.] : I am good.
(This would be in response to, if they asked you how you are. They may ask you in either of these two ways: Comment vas-tu?, OR Ca va?)

Good luck and hope I helped.

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i want to make a blog and stuff but i dont no a website?? so like any sites can help like about blogs!!

Xanga is a good one. Personally, I don't like Live Journal. My favorite is blogger.com. =]

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what should i wear to disneyland? i want to be really cute, but also comfortable. i'm not sure if wearing sandals would be a good idea, so i also have slip on vans but those dont look that good w/ shorts or skirts, but it will be hot. HELP!

Shorts, definitely. Skirts + Rides = Not so good. As for a top, I think you will be fine in something short sleeved, light material/thin shirt. Or if you want, you can wear something sleeveless. Usually, I just wear Converse with shorts. They look cute. Or if you have any white, sort of tennis like shoes, those would be good too. Or those Adidas sandal things. I'm not sure about flip flops because they're easy to slip off and get lost in the crowds. Also, maybe a visor would be good too.

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What age do you think is appropriate to get your nose pierced? Thank you!

***EDIT:***
-It can be a scary experience because your nose is always pierced with a needle. They don't use ear guns like they do on your ears. So it may or may not be scary to you. Some people don't like long needles, and some people have no problem with it.

-Apparently when you get your nose pierced, it hits some kind of nerve. (I didn't know this until I got it pierced.) This makes you feel dizzy, sick to your stomach, etc. You could also lose your hearing for a few minutes, but it comes back. This is also a sort of, "shock effect" on your body. Piercers advise you to drink a sugary drink after, like a Snapple, and you'll feel better. But please DON'T let me scare you with all these things. You may feel the side effects, but I do know people that didn't feel side effects at all. It is really not bad at all, and it's not dangerous. It's worth it.

Hope I helped.



I got my nose pierced when I was 13. It really depends on what kind of person you are. Getting your nose pierced is a scary experience. Many 13 and 14 year olds think that they will be able to handle it, they think it will be fine. But trust me, once you sit down in the piercing chair, you may change your mind. So truthfully, it is a very scary experience at first, and there are some slight physical side effects of getting your nose pierced. But once the piercing part is over, it's great, as long as you can take care of it. If a 13 or 14 year old plans on getting their nose pierced, they should be responsible enough to clean it twice a day, because it CAN get seriously infected if not treated properly in the first 3 healing months. After that, it is fine. So does age really matter? Not so much. Responsibility and maturity level? Yes, definitely.

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I am a 34 year old female, and I just met this woman that i like, and my best friend of 6 years is now jelous and says she is in love with me. I do love her as well but i never thought she looked at me that way. But recently i met this other woman, who i like I dont want to hurt her feelings, but i want to give my bf a chance too. Sounds crazy i know but what should I do. I dont want to lose my bf because of this woman, that would be too much for me. How do I break it off without hurting her?

I think you need to talk to your best friend. You need to ask her why all of a sudden she's decided that she loves you. Maybe she is jealous of the other woman you met. You should let your friend know, that she will always be the first in your life, whether you two stay friends or start a relationship. It's important that you talk to her and try to determine if she really does like you or not, or if she's just a little jealous.

You shouldn't have to feel like you have to choose between this woman and your best friend. And that's exactly what you should tell your friend. Honestly, you should do what YOU want to do. If you want to date this other woman, go ahead! Your best friend should respect your choice no matter what. But if you want to try a relationship with your best friend, then that's okay too.

As for the other woman, you can just tell her that you like her a lot, but you need some time to think things over, that you're having some problems and second thoughts, and you really don't think you can be in a relationship with her right now. After that, it's up to you if you want to date your best friend or not.

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Ok I'm 16 and a female. It's summer and all i can do is think about this one boy. Does anybody know what i could do? I really like him and im not really sure if he likes me back. He's usually at my bus stop and lives on the street right behind me! Please Help!!! Thank You All!!!

You have a great opportunity to turn this crush into a relationship! If you see him around a lot, strike up a casual conversation. And don't be nervous! It's summer and you like him, don't be afraid to take a chance! Do you know when he's usually at the bus stop? Maybe you could "accidentally" bump into him there. Play it cool. Say something like, "Oh, hey, how's your summer been? I haven't seen you around much, we really should hang out more. I've been sort of bored since school's been out..." That is a great conversation starter. Also, you're going to want to ask him a lot about his life. What are his plans for the summer? Where exactly is he going when he gets on the bus? Things like that. This is really great for you, since you live in the same neighborhood. Just don't bump into him "accidentally" too many times, or he might think you're stalking him. Haha. Well, take it from there and then see what happens with him!

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im pretty skinny i guess, 109ish, 5'3. but im loosing weight. my waist is around 26-27 inches? which is great because my abs are flat and my top half is pretty thin. like, inbetween my boobs (though im flat) i have an indent at my bone because my ribs stick out its weird. but my legs and butt is bigger. i was doing a health calculator and it said that i had a big butt, (apple shaped body). i dont really need to loose anymore weight i just want thinner thys and butt. i run, bike ride, cheer, jump on the trampoline. i know theres not spot reduction. but should i keep loosing weight or is there spacific exercises i can do?

If you don't want to lose anymore weight, don't do so much cardio exercise. Cardio exercises are ones that get your heart rate up, like you mentioned- running, biking, cheering, and jumping. You really don't need to exercise that much, since you probably have a very high metabolism. Instead of a lot of cardio exercise, try to focus on toning exercises. (That could tone your butt and legs up)

Squats are great for your butt. Just do some of those every night, very simple. For thighs, try laying on your side, and lifting your leg up in the air. Then down. Then up. (this is sometimes called leg "scissors") Keep repeating, and then do the other side. Lunges may also help you. Lunging is just like leaning on your legs. If you don't understand how to do any of these, try googling them to maybe find pictures of how to do it.

Lastly, do YOU think you have a bug butt and thighs? Just because a quiz tells you that, doesn't mean it's true. Only do this if you really think so and want to tone up the muscles.

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so i got my best friend or i think so, lets call him bill. anyway hes really competitive with me like in skateboarding if he lands a trick i cant do hes always talking about it and wanting to go skating. When i was way better than him he didnt want to go. i know this other guy who we will call john. he skates to. i just metioned to bill that i went to johns house for a sleepover and we skated. john was having a party and he invited me first. i didnt tell or boast to bill. then when bill was invited he came straight up to me and asked was i invited to johns party. now john is always boasting about how hes going to johns house to swim and skate. i know its pathetic. then bill said john was makin fun of my skatin on aim. also when i was a fridget he kept on telling other people in our new school and girls. when infact i found out he was ne too. later somehow everyone knew who i had kissed and apparently she was a real minger. i kept all his secrets but he spreads bullshit about me. also when wer talking to girls he blocks me out and when i speak he speaks over me. same on aim. hes really my best friend though and wer tight but hes got these bad qualities. should i just ignore him or like do what?

Every friend that you're going to have in your life, is going to have some bad qualities. No one is perfect. So you're either going to have to dump Bill as a friend, or learn to live with his bad qualities.

For the most part, Bill sounds like he wants to be your friend. I actually think, that he might be a little jealous of you. Maybe he is jealous that you have more friends/ are more like-able. After all, you do have John. Maybe Bill was feeling a little left out when you hung out with John. There are tons of reasons why he could be jealous of you. Or he could simply be taking his anger out on you. This might be why he spreads secrets/lies about you.

As for the part about him ignoring you when he's with girls, totally normal! It's completely normal for a guy to occasionally ditch his friends for a girl. Even if he does that sometimes, it doesn't mean you're not friends. You still are.

My advice would be to talk to Bill about this. You don't have to make it mushy or anything. Just say, "Hey, what's up with you spreading rumors or saying bad things about me?" You have to let Bill know that you want to be his friend, but you have to TRUST him not to be talking about you behind your back. Tell Bill he's a great friend, but it really annoys you when he says those things about you.

Problems will come and go with friends. You can't expect any one to be perfect. Talk to Bill, but after that, Just try to ignore his bad behavior as much as you can. He'll eventually come around.

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Is it ok to use an eye drop that's expired 6 months ago?

What will it do to my eyes if I use it?

I wouldn't recommend it. If the eyedrops were maybe a few weeks past expiration date, that might not be so mad. But 6 Months is kind of a long time.

I'm not exactly sure what would happen. The most likely thing that would happen, is that they won't work. They won't help your eyes at all, get rid of redness/itchiness/whatever, if some of the chemicals in it have expired. I don't really think they could hurt your eyes, but I wouldn't take any chances.

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m/13 i masturbate everyday maybe twice and i was wondering do you play sport better before or after masturbating. i seem to be more aggressive if a havent masturbated for a while and when i do after im calm and relaxed. i need loads of energy so will masturbating affect me in any way??? when i masturbate does it inrease or decrease testostorone

I don't think it really increases or decreases your testosterone levels. I believe it only gets rid of sexual urges or "turns you on." You said that it makes you feel calm, after you've done it, so you're probably right. Masturbating can "loosen" you up, and release tension physically and emotionally. You may feel sort of happy after it as well.

It's up to you what you want to do. I don't think masturbating has a huge effect on your athletic aggression. Your hormones in general control that, not necessarily if you masturbate or not. I wouldn't suggest masturbating before a game, because you may become a little too relaxed or unfocused. You're probably right about playing your best when you DON'T do it.

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alright well theres this one guy and hes always saying stuff like well: i was singing shake that by eminem(one of my favs)and i got to the part where it goes "go ahead shake ure butt!" and he goes you can shake ure butt for me and then i just laughed and hes like "i love lap dances" and then i was like "oh really?" and then hes like "hmm but you would probably want something in return" and i was like "what do you have on ure mind?" and hes like "ohh youll see" then he winked: is he being serious? joking around?
im really confused!

He's just being your average guy. Most guys joke around like that to girls, just because between the ages of 13 and 17, boy's hormones are raging, and well, let's face it. Most guys' minds are in the gutters. AKA thinking about sex several times every day. He probably does NOT really like you or want to be your boyfriend, or anything like that. From what he said, it sounds like he's only looking to get a piece of action if you know what I mean. I don't think he's really expecting a lap dance from you, he was just joking. However, if you WERE to give him a lap dance, I don't think he'd mind one bit...But don't do that. This guy obviously doesn't want a serious relationship, so it's not a good idea. If it was me, I would have smacked him, haha, but if you can put up with his sexual comments, then that's fine.

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why do girls moan when theyre doing sexual stuff? what makes them moan?

A.) It feels good and they make sounds because they can't control it.
B.) They want guys to think that they're enjoying it/having an orgasm/whatever, even if they're not.

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i know how to have sex ok
what i'm not sure about is the erect penis bit
do i have to give him that
it's weird i don't mind having sex with a guy
but i don't like the fact of giving him a b.j
i don't mind so much with a h.j but was just wondering if you HAVE to have that step before you have sex
i would rather the sex than a blow job

You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
There is really no right or wrong way to have sex.
There are no "steps" you have to take to do it.
You can do anything you want.
You can go right into sex, without giving a handjob or blowjob.
Personally, I think blow jobs are gross.
So if you don't want to do it, tell your boyfriend/guy!
He has to respect the fact that its YOUR body,
and you decide what you do with it! Not him.
So if he asks for one, say, "No, I don't do that. Sorry."
That's what I say. And he'll probably understand.

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what, really, is the point of going to a good college? isnt eduation the same no matter where you go? what, do they provide you with better job connections?

In my opinion, education is what YOU make it. It's true that some schools may have better programs for specific areas. Like, for example, someone that's interested in art, would want to go to a school with a specific, and strong art program. It really depends on what you are going for. There will always be good schools for that subject, and not so good schools for that subject.

Like I said, education is what you make of it. Basically meaning that, you could go to a super expensive school like Harvard, and have the best teachers, but if you don't have the brains or the ambition to learn, then it really won't matter. I don't actually think it matters what school you go to, as long as you work hard and try to get an education. Some of the most successful people in the world, went to inexpensive colleges that were considered, "bad." So that's proof, that no matter what school you go to, if you work hard enough, you can get that great education, and work your way up.

Expensive schools don't really provide you with better job connections. Some MIGHT, but most colleges generally have pretty good job connections. The professers could possibly be a little more educated, but there are good and bad teachers wherever you go.

Hope I answered your question.

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would it be bad for me to try ecstasy just once to see what it felt like? how about pot?

Ecstasy is a very dangerous drug, that you could die from even if you just took it for the first time. No one really knows much about ecstasy because it is a new drug, and each person's reaction could be very different to it. There have been many cases where some people will get some "bad ecstasy" and die soon after taking it, if they do not get to the hospital soon enough. So I REALLY would not sugguest trying ecstasy.

As for pot, well, that can be dangerous too, but it is definitely less likely to kill you than Ecstasy is. I have many friends who smoke pot, and though I am not involved in it, I know that it is unlikely that you would have a bad reaction to it. Pretty much everyone tries pot at least once in your life, but it is HIGHLY addictive. I think it'd be alright if you tried it, but you shouldn't feel like you have to try ANY drugs for that matter.

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What makes you happy the most?

My pets make me happy, they're good friends, good listeners, and they never turn on you.
Also, I have some internet friends. I like to talk to them too, because I don't like anyone where I live. Haha. :)

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If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?

I have so many things I'd want to change but many of them were out of my control, like people dying, and where my family decided to live. But they were totally out of my control.

But I guess I would change the relationship with my father and I. And I would try not to say some of the things I did to him. I guess I could still do that today, but it's pretty much beyond the point of fixing.

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