Gender:
FemaleLocation:
USAAge:
28Member Since:
October 4, 2005Answers:
2093Last Update:
February 22, 2015Visitors:
129486Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
karenR
DangerNerd
SilentOne
Xenolan
theymos
Erinn_the_bamf
advicenator_admin
Brandi_S
Adviceguy158
Nallie
more...
Main Categories:
Random Weirdos
Computers
Love Life
View All
about
I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)
advice
I'm a 14 year old girl and there's a job that I want to have when I'm older and I don't know what it's called or if it's a real job at all. I've always had incredibly strong senses of empathy and sympathy so I'm always wanting to help people. The job I want is going around to different troubles countries and helping those who are starving and need medical help that they can't get in their countries. If obviously be putting myself in very dangerous positions sometimes but I'd rather die young changing the world than die of old age at home after a life of changing nothing. I'd also need to get some kind of doctoral training to get a ton of medical knowledge. Is this actually a career I can pursue?
Absolutely! There are a lot of programs that do just what you're describing. Once you get into medical school, you can talk to your professors to see what kinds of opportunities are out there for you. If you live in the United States, think about joining the Peace Corps. http://www.peacecorps.gov/
It might also be a good idea to talk to your school guidance counselor about your plans. Make sure that you're taking the right classes and performing well enough academically to realize your dream. Even if you can't get into med school, there are other ways to help abroad. Good luck!
hi people!
im a 19 year old girl & ive only tried anal once. from that experience im terrified to do it again.
when i did it the first time i got a hemorrhoid, disgusting yes i know! & also he cummed in my butt & when he pulled out it made a couple farting sounds but i dont think i farted? im not sure but it was embarrassing & i dont ever want that to happen again!
any suggestions or comments? thanks!
also any suggestions on how to clean your butt out before anal? because you poop there lol, i dont want anything coming out or smelling, sorry i know this sounds very out there! i just need some help!
thanks in advance and sorry about how weird this sounds haha!:)
Why would you be asking for help on how to solve these problems if you had such a bad experience the first time around? Anal isn't your thing. So don't do it. It resulted in you getting a hemorrhoid, that's awful. Don't risk it again. You were humiliated by the sound of air that had been pushed in, coming back out. Knowing that it wasn't a fart doesn't make it any less embarrassing because it still sounds like one. This is going to happen when you do anal and can't really be avoided. You're worried about how clean it is in there because you don't want anything coming out or smelling. People that participate in and enjoy anal are not worried about this. Clearly, you aren't into anal. There is no reason for you to do it.
This brings me back to my question. Why would you be asking for help on how to solve these problems if you had such a bad experience the first time around? Someone is asking you to try it, right? Some guy really wants you to do it for him. Well, the answer to all your problems is to just explain to him that you're not into it. Explain that you tried it once, had a bad experience, didn't like it, and that was enough for you. Do not do this just to make him happy. You may be willing to, but even if you are, it's not the right thing to do. No part of a sexual encounter should be a sacrifice. Both people should enjoy all parts of everything that the two of you choose to do. Otherwise, it's just bad sex and sets you up for being pressured and having your generosity taken advantage of or stretched too far in the future. If this guy is worth anything, he's not going to care if you don't want to do anal. He might want to try it, but he'll certainly live without it. I'd prefer it if my husband would trim his pubic hair better than he does, but he doesn't want to and it's his body to decide that for. I really don't care about it that much and I respect what he wants to do. It's really that simple. Your need to please needs to end.
If you don't have a boyfriend asking to do this with you, I apologize for assuming so. In this case, my answer is still essentially the same. Anal isn't your thing. Don't worry about it. Communicate this to your partner and everything will be fine. BOTH of you will be happier if you do. Trust me. :) Good luck!
I'm 13 and I know that all teenagers have acne but I have an unusual amount. My denatiligist have me a cream but it's not helping. I clean my face with a gently soap and cloth in the morning and evening then pay it dry with a towel, use the cream my dermatologist gave me, and pull my hair out of my face. Even after all of this my face is oily again a few minutes later. With seven kids, my parents really can't afford any of those special soaps. What can I do? Are there any home remedies that really work? Oh, and the acne is in my forehead, chin, and cheekbone area if it matters.
If you've seen a dermatologist, see him/her again! If the cream that you were given isn't working, there are often stronger concoctions or different kinds that might work. I would imagine that it's very rare that the first thing that you try is going to be perfect. Let the dermatologist know what happened and that cost is an issue. Remember that if your family has health insurance, something that the dermatologist prescribes to you should be covered by your insurance and won't cost your family very much at all. If you go out on your own and try to find something in a store, you're going to have to pay full price and you're going to have less of an idea of what might work. Definitely go back to the dermatologist one or two more times before giving up on this person's help. He/she an expert and will be able to help you more than anyone else. Good luck!
My boyfriend had sex with me yesterday and it was my first time doing it he didnt pop my"cherry" and today I feel sick and my stomach was bouncing, what does it mean? And can I still get pregnant if my "cherry" isn't popped?
This "cherry" that you speak of is a bunch of nonsense. There isn't something in you that "pops". You may bleed your first time if your partner isn't cautious because of stretching and tearing, but nothing in that area "pops" open. Your vagina is already open. There is no such thing as a "cherry". If your boyfriend's penis entered your vagina, you have a chance of becoming pregnant.
Sometimes, people are referring to the hymen when they are talking about a cherry. The hymen is a completely different thing though. Some very young girls have a membrane covering most of their vaginal opening. If you've had your period before and blood has come out, your hymen is not completely covering your vaginal opening, which means that your vagina is open and you can become pregnant from sexual contact. The hymen can be torn open a bit larger when you are a child as a result of normal human activities such as running, biking, and horseback riding. Your hymen doesn't pop when you have sex for the first time. If you are healthy and have had your period before, your hymen already has an opening in it, so there is nothing blocking sperm from traveling into your body.
It was very foolish of you to have sex without protection and I'm sure that you know that. Do not allow anyone to convince you to do something unsafe ever again and never just "go with the flow" because you don't want to ruin the mood or hurt someone's feelings. Even if you're a shy or quiet person, you must speak up when it comes to things like this because it's your body and your life that are most at risk. The next time you have a question as important as this, find out the answer before participating in a risky behavior.
Feeling sick and your stomach "bouncing" are probably just a result of you being nervous and over thinking things. We become more aware of ourselves when we think about it. For example, whenever you start to think about breathing, you become very aware of it when just a second ago, it was happening automatically without a conscious thought from you. These things are not related to your sexual encounter.
Ok so I have became and extremely needy girl towards the guy I love we have only been a thing for like 4 months in the beginning everything was good then i took things way too serious i text him all the time and always ask him if we can hang out... he knows he has me whenever he wants so he takes advantage of it..if i back off and stop texting him and let him make the moves will this keep him more intersted?
Be careful backing off too quickly. If you all of a sudden stop texting him all the time and asking to hang out, it might concern him. You don't want him thinking that something is wrong, you're cheating on him, or you're not interested in him anymore. It is important for you to give him some space though. Not to keep him interested, but to keep him from getting annoyed. If he's interested, he's interested and if he's not, he's not. By being "needy" you run the risk of annoying him to the point where even if he is interested in you, he won't feel like he can be with you because he doesn't have enough space. What you need to do to get the situation under control is tell him that you feel like you're being needy and you want to try to stop texting him as much as you do. That way, you're backing off like you need to and he knows why. Good luck!!
So, I recently graduated in December with my bachelors in education. I never really wanted to pursue teaching. I wanted to go into either counseling or administration. But, I needed to make ends meet with the degree I had and I had to take on this assistant teaching job. Mind you, I did not sign a contract for the year. I signed a payment contract (that said how much I would get paid for the year) and then I signed a paper about upholding the school's standards. I have worked in schools before. But, this by far is one of the most exhausting jobs I have ever had. I get there at 8am (not too early), but, those of you who are teachers know that unlike other jobs, you don't really ease into your mornings. You have to go right away. Lunch is from 11-11:20, but we eat with the kids. I don't have a break all day. Since I'm an "assistant," I have to travel with the kids to each and every class. At lunch, I find myself scarfing down my food because I need to take people to the bathroom, get water, etc. The special area teachers expect me to do the majority of the work. Most of them don't do anything. They think the whole day is a vacation. I have them all day. I don't mind staying in the class while they are in art/spanish/science.... but, do I really have to manage their behavior? It is truly exhausting. Every time that children misbehave, it is your fault. If you happen to just have a rowdy one in your class, be prepared for all of the blame to go on you. I come home SO exhausted. I haven't washed my hair in days because of how tired I am when I get home. I can't even enjoy my life after 4:00 because of how tired I am. I don't mean to sound like a whiner.I know that no job is easy. I've been working since I was 16. My first job was at a nursery. Since then, I've worked in an office setting (throughout college) and then an after-care program. This is the worse and most tiring job that I have ever had in my life. I'm not saying that teaching is like this in any other school. I really don't know. It might be. But, this experience in particular is just the worse. This job is just pure torture. It is also a very small school and with such a small faculty, they have people doing extra things. It's just too much. This is not for me. Out of all the jobs I have had, I have enjoyed the office setting the most. Yes, there were days when I was tired. Yes, there were days when we had a ton of work and I was stressed. But, it was nothing like this. I was able to sit and eat lunch (even on those heavy duty days) and believe it or not, 20 minutes of quiet time at lunch (watching netflix, reading a book) made a HUGE difference. I went back to my work a different person. I come back more tired from lunch than the way I came in now! At the same time, the work is also boring and not challenging... just exhausting. All I do is grading and classroom management. Managing a group of kindergarteners for 7 hours a day is extremely difficult. It's strenuous on the body but not challenging to the mind. I use to have hobbies. I use to come home from work and write, read, exercise, cook! Now, I don't even have dinner because I'd rather just go to sleep. Even though I would leave work an hour later, I still had the physical energy to do all the things I loved.
Now... it is wonderful that I didn't sign a contract obligating me to stay. But, I would feel horrible just quitting out of the blue. It's not like anyone has been mean to me or that the people are difficult. The people are beyond nice, the children are great, etc. Plus, we JUST started school. But, this is already affecting my health. I'm willing to send out some applications to institutions that may take a while to respond (like hospitals, universities, etc.) Bigger places. Because that gives me some more time. It's not like I'm thinking of starting at a new job tomorrow (although I wish I could). But, you know what I mean! :). In the event that I would get offered a job elsewhere and I would be making more money and have a more positive health change (right now my salary is $21,000 a year), what can I say? I can't just quit by absence because the people have been very nice to me or quit unexpectedly. When I was in college, I tried retail and 1 week into working, one of the shift managers asked me if I was stupid because she wanted me to walk into a dressing room with a customer and I said I wasn't comfortable). I quit unexpectedly at that moment. They begged for my forgiveness and asked me to come back... but the university had offered me a job as part of a scholarship. But... those people were rude. It wasn't like I didn't like the job or whatever... but, I was disrespected and that was reason enough to quit. But, here, I don't really have a reason to quit other than I don't like the job. I"m not bound to the job because they could find someone else to replace me. I'm just an assistant. But, how can I break the news nicely in the event that I do find another job?
Thank you for reading this far!!
Cristy
Talk to your union (if you have one) and get a copy of your contract. It doesn't sound like your schedule would comply with it. There are rules and laws and agreements in place that prevent a schedule with no breaks. Having a break and not being able to use it is an issue that your union can definitely help you with. If this isn't the case or it doesn't solve your problem, don't worry too much about leaving. People leave jobs at schools all the time for all kinds of reasons. There are a million reasons that you can come up with like you found a job closer to home, you've been offered a great opportunity someplace else, you'll come up with something. Don't feel bad at all about leaving if that's what you need to do. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that things get better for you soon!
Hi. I am a teenage girl, and I'm supposed to sing in a Talent Show next week. I'll admit it myself, I tend to get really nervous before any kind of public speaking, but people have always told me to share my gift with the world. It's not that I don't want to, I'm afraid I'll mess up or do something stupid, and embarrass myself. Are there certain techniques I could do to relieve my anxiety about this? Advice is much appreciated. Thank you.
Don't feel bad about this. The lead singer of my favorite band is so nervous before performances that he often has to run onto the stage. Once he's out there, he can't go back and the show starts. It's totally normal and natural to feel like you do. Even the pros struggle with it so you're in good company.
The best thing that you can do right now is acknowledge and embrace it. Be okay with it. If you accept it, you're less likely to be embarrassed about it or make a mistake because of it. You must be really good or people wouldn't be begging you to get out there. People will understand how you're feeling because they'll empathize with you. Empathy is like putting yourself in someone else's shoes. For those that don't understand, they're not nice people that don't get life and take themselves way too seriously.
There are tons of things you can try to help reduce your nerves. Here are a few ideas: http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Stage-Fright.
Good luck!!
My friend asked me to go to field hockey tryouts with her. Well I figured I needed some Excercise because I've been really unfit lately. But these last three days have been a workout. And today I realized that I'll have to run a mile almost every day and I might get scared playing for a real game. Then they volunteered me to do goalie, well I didn't know that I had to wear a hot black suit. I also realized that with being goalie I will stand out an I really don't like to stand out, and I'm kinda girly(no prissy but I like to look good). And I am SOOOO SORE! I just want to know what I should do, my dad already brought alot of stuff. I also really don't want to play goalie but I already told the coach that I liked it but I don't like it THAT much. I just don't know the only perk of being goalie is not running the mile. CAN ANYONE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk to the coach about how you're thinking about quitting and why. It's not right to quit a team without talking it over with the coach first. No matter what you do, you need to make sure that you show the right amount of respect to everyone involved.
When I was in high school, I convinced my friend to join my basketball team. She came to one day of practice and I felt really bad for her. She wasn't in shape, but she was expected to do the same amount of running and activity as everyone else right from the start. It was really tough on her and she just couldn't do it. She quit partway through the very first practice. I always sort of blamed the coach for it because she could've been a good member of the team if she'd been given a chance to start from her own level of comfort and athleticism.
Talking to your coach about what you're struggling with could solve a lot of the problems that you're having because then the coach would be aware and would consider your situation. I also advise you to stick with it if you can. The running will get easier and your confidence will go up a lot about your body and about being in front of people, which is really important in life. Being a part of a team is something that you'll wish you'd done for longer. Good luck!!
OK, my life sucks. My mother hates me and is doing drugs, my dad keeps molesting me and I can't feel emotions or make friends. Now how the fuck do I commit suicide.
Don't kill yourself! It's a permanent "solution" to temporary problems. There are so many other things that you need to try before considering suicide. I say that you "need" to try them because if you make a decision too quickly without considering all other options and trying a bunch of other things first, you could be denying yourself an amazing life in the distant, or perhaps very near future. You may feel like you've tried everything already. You've tried what you know and it seems like you don't have the answers. You're not an expert on life though. Someone else could have the strategy or information that you need in order to get a good life for yourself. If you've given up on your current situation, trying something else couldn't hurt. Go to this website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. It has a number you can call or you can even chat with someone online if that would be more comfortable for you. Definitely do this! What have you got to lose? Good luck.
So last week I was at an extra color guard practice just for fun and my color guard partner was there too She's a senior and I'm a freshman, but we're close friends. So anyway, even though I'm younger than her, I can spin a quad on my flag which is extremely hard to do. My coach saw me doing this with some other fancy work and she asked me if I wanted a solo part of our performance. I obviously said yes and I was super happy. So I went to my partner and she already heard the news. She didn't look excited like I was and I asked her "aren't you happy for me?" And she was honest and told me no. She said she was jealous because she never got a solo and she is better than I am. I got a little offended by this. I told her it wasn't my fault coach asked me. But of course, she yelled at me and told me it was my fault. I then told her how I work as hard as her and how she is never proud of me for anything I do and how she's always better than me and will never say I'm good and that hurts me. We fought more until she yelled at me to shut up and I said no and I tried to finish what I was saying when she hit me. Right in the face. My cheek was bleeding and it was swelling. My partners face was more shocked than mine. She said "(my name) I--" and stopped there. I started tearing up and ran out of the band room. I ran into 2 other team mates and they asked me what was wrong but I ignored them and ran home. My face has a nasty bruise where she hit me and I can't believe she did that to me. I thought she was my friend. What do I do now? I'm so scared of her.
Talk to your coach privately about what happened. It is very important that your coach knows what happened. You don't want your coach finding out about it from someone else or being completely in the dark about the situation in case it gets worse. Be honest about everything. You didn't do anything wrong and didn't deserve to get hit by your friend. Your coach should be able to make you feel better or make a discreet change such as getting you a new partner if you're nervous.
In the future, you do need to lower your expectations for your color guard partner a bit. Expecting your color guard partner to be like a parent by being proud of you and telling you that you're good is over the top. Your partner is a kid just like you. If you accomplish something, approach it delicately. Your partner might be happy for you or might be jealous. If they're jealous, don't shove it in their face when they're hurting. It's not your partner's job to be happy for you. If they're not, it's okay. When your partner first said she wasn't happy for you, you should have let it go. Even though you did not handle the situation tactfully or communicate with your partner well, there is still no excuse at all for what she did.
That being said, it does seem like it was a big mistake. Your partner probably feels very bad about what happened and would like to apologize and work things out. If the two of you do want to talk, do it with your coach there. Your coach would make a good moderator and would be able to offer good suggestions. I think that you should give your partner another chance. Did she help you get to where you are now? If so, tell her. Try to be a better communicator, have realistic expectations, and be more mindful of her feelings in the future. Good luck!
I'm a 13 year old girl and I think that I may have an eating disorder of some type but I'm not sure. I've been eating less, eating healthier, and exercising one a week to lost weight l because I'm only 5 foot but I weigh around 140 pounds. I figured that I should lose it now because everyone in my family is obese, it's in the genes, so I'm trying to avoid that. My eating schedule is usually like this: I'll have a yogurt or some fruit for breakfast, skip lunch or have carrot sticks or something small and then have pretzels for dinner. And I feel like this is too much. Sometimes I'll binge too and then punish my self with fasting/liquid diet for a day or two.
What you describe is absolutely an eating disorder. No doubt about it. Seek help immediately. You don't want to be obese like your family, but what you're doing and thinking is very, very dangerous and just as unhealthy as being overweight (maybe more!). There is a balance in the middle that a professional can help guide you to. Do not let this go. You really do need help before your perception becomes distorted. Good luck.
hey guys! im a 19 year old girl & i ended up hurting my leg by running 7 months ago and just got referred to do physical therapy. i used to work out and run everyday! since my leg started hurting ive been off for 7 months now, all ive been doing is binging & when i say i binge eat i mean it. its so insane i eat more than anyone i know. ive gained about 30 pounds in 7 months because of it. i used to weigh 128 and now i weigh way more. i literally feel it when i get up and walk or anything. its horrible. none of my clothes fit me anymore!! i hate it and it makes me so depressed. my body gets me depressed as well as the way ive been eating. i know i have to stop but its hard. ive been trying to eat healthier. i went out to eat for lunch & dinner everyday for the longest time. im now trying to stop that & trying to get a healthier life style like i used to have. i want to be healthier so that when i start to run again (when physical therapy is over & im allowed to get back into running fully) im not completely out of shape.
any advice or motivation??? i really need some! thanks:)
I know what you mean when you say that you feel it when you get up and walk. Think of it this way: a gallon of milk weighs about 8 pounds. It's not that heavy when you first pick it up, but if you try walking around the store with it for awhile, it gets difficult. For every 8 pounds that you gained, it's like carrying a jug of milk around all the time and never being able to put it down. That sucks and it's definitely what motivated me when I needed to lose weight. I was getting winded trying to climb a flight of stairs, but it got a lot easier after I shed a gallon and a half of milk. I was skipping right up.
This method isn't for everyone, but it truly worked for me. Counting calories. It's the most scientific, basic method out there that does not restrict certain foods. You can eat ice cream and pizza if you want. I did. What counting calories did for me was force me to come up with creative ways to eat less. Ultimately, I decided to have a small lunch, stop snacking, and eat a big dinner. The program also forced me to exercise. I really wanted to meet the calorie goal that was set for me each day, but if I got hungry and wanted a snack, I'd usually have to exercise so that I could fit it in. The beauty of counting calories is that you can figure out what works best for you along the way. It allows you to be creative, doesn't restrict you, and sets appropriate, achievable goals.
Join a website or app such as livestrong.com/myplate. All you need to do is put in your current weight, set a weight loss goal of 1 or 2 pounds a week, and it will tell you how many calories you should consume each day in order to meet your goal. Every time you eat something, you type in what it was, how much, and the program will calculate how many calories you have left for the day. You can also type in any exercise that you do and it will increase the number of calories that you're allowed to consume based upon how many you burned. It's super easy and most of the math is done for you. I decided to track my calories for a week without making any changes to what I was eating to see where I was starting from. This helped tremendously because I was able to see where I could make cuts and it helped me begin to learn what was high in calories and what wasn't. Don't jump in too fast. Have a plan.
The only thing that bugged me a little bit was having to count things. For example, if I wanted to eat chips out of a large bag, I'd need to count them. If I wanted a slice of cheese, I'd have to quick cut the whole block into serving sizes. If there are 12 ounces of cheese and each ounce is a serving, if you cut the block into 12 pieces, you'll know exactly how much cheese you're eating. It took a week or so to get the hang of it, but it was well worth it and I can do it in my sleep now.
Counting calories may not be for you, but I can tell you, it truly works for me. Good luck.
I am in a crisis involving a horrible case of writer's block! I cannot decide on a topic for my personal statement I need written, revised, and embellished by this Friday! There are two prompts on the UC applications and no matter which one I choose, open a new word document for and just begin writing sounds like a load of crap. I am too distracted by my past and how it's shaped me as a person and cannot find a good solid yet positive topic to write about. I don't know if I can do this. I have scoured the internet for tips and advice but none has helped. I'm feeling low, and desperate.
The instructions for writing a personal statement include this: "Find your individual voice and express it honestly." Your problem is that you're not being honest. You're trying to shape yourself into what you think a personal statement should be like. The worst thing that you can do is come up with a cookie-cutter statement that is going to sound like crap and be just like everyone else's. Nobody wants to read that. Not even you. A story where the main character goes through no level of adversity, challenge, or struggle is a rather terrible, boring story.
Make your statement stand out by making it a truly personal statement. Be honest. If all you can think about is your past and how it's shaped you, write about it! That's what you're supposed to do! Your struggles and how you have overcome them should be the focus, not a distraction. It may be negative, but it's what has shaped you into the person that you are today. Struggles in life are sometimes what bring about the greatest, most positive qualities in people.
Use your own voice and write what your heart is screaming at your brain to put down. If you are honest, it will be a moving, wonderful piece of writing that will catch the eye of whomever is tasked with reading it. It will stand out from the rest in a good way. Consider this quote from the movie Mulan: "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." You have a story to tell, so tell it. Good luck!
About 2-3 years ago, I joined a website. I made many mistakes there and didn't want to be reminded of them, so I quit about a year ago.
2 months ago, I came back. I don't even know why. But I regret it. I always find myself going on there when I'm bored, but I just want to leave that site for good. How can I tell myself no? I have self control, I just have nothing to do and find myself going on there.
You can't just break a habit by willing yourself to stop. You need to find a new behavior to replace your old behavior with that will satisfy the same needs. Think of something to do instead. Every time that you have the urge to go on the website, do this other thing instead. If you're going on the site because you're bored, make sure your new behavior relieves your boredom in the same way.
If there are other aspects of the site that keep you coming back, make sure that your new behavior meets those needs as well. Find a new website to look at. Find a new way to interact with people or find out what they're up to. It isn't about whether or not you have self-control, it's about filling the space with something healthier. If you don't, you'll end up back on it again.
Additionally, you must delete your account entirely. This will make it much harder for you to go back. Some websites make this difficult. Facebook, for example, allows you to deactivate your account, but it's super easy to reactivate it again. It sounds like you could be talking about Facebook, so here are the instructions on how to permanently delete your Facebook account: http://www.wikihow.com/Permanently-Delete-a-Facebook-Account. It would be a real pain to have to make a whole new account, which will give you more time to think about what you're doing and decide to go with the new behavior instead.
It's crucial that you pick a new behavior for yourself that is specific, just as easy, and that you'll enjoy.
Good luck!!
I almost forgot! If you can't delete the account or can't bring yourself to delete the account, change the password to something meaningful. Something like "notagoodidea" or "doyoureallywanttodothis" should keep you off. I did this once and it worked well. :)
High school girl, sophomore and I weigh 253lbs. I'm told all the time that I look far older than I am and that my weight balances out pretty well and that I don't look as big as I actually am. Gym class this last year was torture for me because most of the guys were making fun of me the whole period for being fat. I've been made fun of since kindergarten. No one's really ever liked me. I've been in a new school for two years now and no one here likes me too much. Most guys avoid talking to me at all costs. So I wanna hear it from the guys, does anyone even like big chicks??? In the last three years, I've gone from being outgoing and bubbly to being too afraid to walk to the other end of the cafeteria just to dump my freaking tray because I'm paranoid and feel like everyone is watching me. Just wondering. Thanks in advance!
Yes they do. I know a couple who is your age. The girl is big, but it means nothing to them, to their friends, or to most other people. They are so happy and even though they're young, they're probably my favorite couple ever. The guy is really smart, really sweet, and really good to her. Being your size does make things difficult because there are guys out there who are not okay with it, but don't think of yourself as being much different from anybody else. There are guys out there that don't like small boobs, that don't like brown eyes, that don't like girls who don't wear makeup, that don't like athletic girls, that don't like African American girls...there's something about everyone that they're worried about. It's easy to think that everyone's watching and judging you, but few really are. It may be hard to believe, but many girls your age are going through the exact same thing as you are, even (and perhaps especially) the ones who are thin and dating all the time. Stay confident and positive. You seem like a great person that your future husband is going to be very happy to have. Why waste your time trying to date guys that aren't good enough for you? You'll find someone with an amazing heart that will love everything about you.
The poem below sums up my experience with high school. Nobody wanted to date me and the only guys that seemed interested were really creepy. I thought I was doomed, but then I found someone in college. Some people get lucky early on and some don't. The guys around you will mature eventually and like I said, you could end up with a better one with a better heart if you wait.
“Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”
So recently me and my mom were talking, and the subject of me not being honest to her came up. now my mom is very big about lying and hates it and i know that so i dont lie to her very often. she think that im lying to her about something but i have no idea what. i kept asking her what i did wrong and she kept telling me to go to bed ( since it was like 11 o'clock) and talk to her once i tell her the truth but i have no idea what i did wrong. i also feel like shes just trying to get me to confess about a lie. whats a tip so that i can get out of this mess?
Oh gosh, my mom was like this. She somehow always knew exactly what was going on in my life. She'd accuse me of something and it would almost always be true. I hated her for her scary level of psychic perception. There were a few times, though, when she was wrong and it was very frustrating. She was convinced that I was having all kinds of wild sex with my boyfriend, but we'd agreed to wait until we got married. She would not believe me and was very concerned that I was going to get pregnant. Dealing with her in this circumstance was awful.
There were other times when she would hear something from someone else and want me to fess up about it. Sometimes it wasn't even anything that bad and I couldn't think of anything that I'd done even remotely wrong. It sounds like this is what's happening with you. She probably heard something from someone. It could be completely true, possibly exaggerated, or just plain wrong. I can say that I totally feel your pain on this one.
The only thing that you can really do is talk to her about it. But you have to be 1 million percent calm, relaxed, and logical. This can be so difficult under the circumstances, but it's the only thing that works. Come up with exactly what you're going to say to her and how you will respond to what she might say. Will yourself with all of your energy to not get frustrated, mad, or anything else. If you can do this, she should be willing to open up to you about whatever it is that's bugging her. I wish you tons of willpower and luck and I hope that it's just something silly.
I had sex with someone I've been seeing. For the first time, I had anal sex. I was not expecting that to happen. If I knew it was coming, I would have done an enema ahead of time. He still treated me well and acted as if everything was fine afterward. But now, he's not talking to me as much. I know that if you do anal, it's going to smell like poop. Now I'm just hoping he didn't try smelling his hand or whatever.
So, do guys get turned off if their penis smells like bad after having anal sex? Or are would they be satisfied that they even had sex, etc?
You know what, if he has a problem with it, he can go and find someone who's ass doesn't stink. And good luck to him! There is a very small chance that this is what his problem is though. It doesn't smell that bad, probably not even much at all, and he's the one that wanted to do it. If a guy is turned off by anal for whatever reason, he's going to choose not to do it. It's not like your butt and someone else's are much different in terms of smell. His problem would be with anal in general and not with his particular experience with you. Is this the first sexual experience you've had with him? It's possible that he's feeling weird about that. It's possible that this was the first time he tried anal and he just didn't like it. You really never know. Maybe something else is going on in his life coincidentally. Whatever it is, there's only a very small chance that it has anything to do with you. Even if it is about you, that's his problem, not yours, and he's not a good person for it. Don't worry about this at all. Cast it away from your mind entirely. If it's really bothering you, it might be a good idea to identify his behavior (hey, you're not talking to me as much all of a sudden) and ask him what's going on. Don't bring up what it could or couldn't be about. Let him explain if he wants to. It seems like the two of you are not strong in the communication department yet. Work on that and this should sort itself right out. Never feel ashamed about your natural body and what it does. You can't fight biology and if someone wants to take themselves so seriously that they expect you to, ditch them immediately. Good luck!
So...my 8th grade boyfriend who I haven't spoken to in three years randomly messaged me on Facebook last night. He wasn't even on my friends list. He just popped up in my messages. He wants to hang out on Sunday and said that he wish we never broke up and wants to start over again. Since I've never had a true, genuine relationship before, I don't know what to do. I really like him all over again. What should we do starting Sunday?
I know this may be hard, but try not to get too excited too fast. People can really change in 3 years. Because you've already dated him, you already like him, are already comfortable with him, and already trust him. This is great, but it could be dangerous. If you didn't date him for more than a few months, you may not have gotten to know him too well either. Even if you talked for hours every day, it can take awhile to truly get to know what someone is like and how they'll treat you in a relationship over time. Try to figure out his intentions. Why does he want to see you all of a sudden? Did he just break up with someone? Does he just want to mess around? Has he been thinking about you and miss you? Straight up asking him might not get you the whole truth. His intentions could be good and unselfish, but be mindful that they might not be. My intent is not to discourage you. This is something to be happy about and I'd definitely see where things go with him. Just remember to be careful not to jump in too fast. Good luck, I hope it works out for you!! :)
I don't really think that my issue qualifies as an eating disorder which is why I feel like I can get advice from here, before immediately rushing to the doctor's office. Anyway, I've been stuck in this horrible cycle of starving my self and then binging, starving myself and then binging, over and over and over. It goes like this: I'll starve myself starting whenever I wake up and then around four o'clock I'll allow myself plain toast and water or an apple or something small like that. But then dinner time will come and I'll have to sit and eat with the family. The problem is when u start eating, I can't stop. For example, the other night my mom made mashed potatoes, meatloaf, gravy, corn, and carrots. I don't eat meatloaf but I went CRAZY with everything else. I had 2 large helpings of potatoes, a whole bunch of corn, and then later in the night I had a bunch of snacks at 3:00 am. Sometimes I won't binge at the end of the day though, I'll just starve all day or binge all day. I'm trying to lose weight (which my doctor said I need to do to be healthy) but this isn't the healthy way to do it. I can't seem fibre am this cycle though, how can I do it????
It seems as if your plan for losing weight is a terrible one and you've gotten stuck in this weird cycle. What's happening is that when you deny yourself of food for the beginning of the day, you're getting really hungry and you end up eating more later on. This is a terrible plan that will never work. You say "I'll starve myself...then...allow myself plain toast and water or an apple or something" You are going down a very dangerous path. Look at the vocabulary you're using. You "allow" yourself food. Whether or not you can be classified into one of the officially recognized eating disorder categories, you are without a doubt struggling with eating disorder thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Since it seems as if this is something that's just begun, what's going on with you may still be under your control. What you need to do is realize the danger you're in and take control of it now. Consult a doctor or nutritionist. Tell the doctor exactly what you're doing, thinking, and why. Ask the doctor to give you a personalized plan for keeping this from turning into a full-fledged eating disorder while still working to get to a healthy weight. You are not an expert on nutrition, weight loss, or eating disorders and so you should not be trying to come up with your own plan on how to be healthy. You have no idea what you're doing and could cause more harm than good. Talk to someone who is an expert. As soon as you can. They should be able to give you ideas on what and how much you should be eating at each meal. Tell your parents that what the doctor said to you earlier about needing to lose weight has you worried and it's affecting you in such a way that you are afraid that you may be at risk of developing an eating disorder. You have to be honest with everyone. Dancing around the subject now will only make it harder to talk about later when things are worse. Good luck.
Here's a picture of me: http://i.imgur.com/e2uF7w6.jpg
I have a stupid haircut and i don't look good.
I have no idea what hairstyle would look good for me, but could someone tell me what hairstyle would look best with my face? Every time I've asked this, people have just made fun for how I look; I know I'm ugly, but I just want legitimate advice as to what would look good for me.
You're not ugly at all, quite the opposite. You're right about the haircut though, it's a little stupid :). Your current haircut makes your forehead stand out. Sticking your hair up like it is or in some other way will likely have the same effect. Try something like this: http://www.besthairstyles2013.com/haircuts-for-boys.html/haircuts-for-boys-5. I think that would look great on you. Good luck!