about

my name's rebecca. i doubt you're even mildly interested in the irrelevant aspects of my life, so i'll get to the point. i'm not a professional psychologist nor do i pretend to be, yet i'll try to give you advice based on the common sense that, unlike many others on here, i own ;]

advice

16/f

I'm very into translating my dreams. I read online that if you take vitamin B-6 about a half hour before you go to bed, you will have very vivid/lucid dreams. My question is, are lucid dreams satanic? Someone told me that they were. I'm a Christian, so I don't really want to experience any devil- type things, lol. Thank you!

Just as satanic as Harry Potter.
Which is to say, not at all. Lucid dreams are cool, but I can't back up the vitamin b-6 claim. Be safe!

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My nephew, who is 12-almost 13, decided to buy me a gift for my birthday. It was a great gesture and I really appreciate his efforts but I really am not sure what to do since I really hate the gift.

So, I am very into gardening (flowers) and my nephew bought me a metal statue of some flowers. The problem is that the artwork is very large and, well, absolutely hideous. The coloring doesn't really match with my home interior so it really stands out if I do choose to let guests view it.

I know he meant well but I really do not want to display this in my home. It's very unattractive. Should I tell him that I did not really enjoy the gift (maybe even allow him to have his money refunded?) or display the gift in my home despite my feelings towards the appearance of it?

Please do not tell a 12 year old boy that you didn't like his thoughtful gift! That's just basic manners.

How often does he come over? Could you simply just display it whenever he's at your house, and keep it in your garage at other times? Or could it even go outside, in your garden, possibly accidently-on-purpose obscured by some large plants?

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ok im 14 and my boyfriend is 16. he wants to have sex in the family bathroom at the mall but i don't know if i should do it or not. If it helps its the only place that we can atchually meet. Thanks in advance.

No! 14 is simply too young; the fact that you need to ask strangers on the internet is an indication that you are definitely not ready for this. I know sex doesn't really seem like a huge deal, but it is, and sometimes people don't understand that until it's too late. Most people assume everything will be okay and you won't get pregnant, but what if you do? It'd screw up your life, and 14 is way too young for that.

You don't need to wait until your 25 years old, or married, but 14 is just way too damn young. Do you really want your first time to be in a public bathroom? What if someone walks in? Your first time is something that will, obviously, only happen once; please don't waste it on this.

Good luck.

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Okay, I know you get these a whole lot! And I will tell you as a columnist for years here I have seen them pop up daily. Well my situation is a bit unique; bare with me.

So, I last had sex like last week. Usually my period is regular (I start every 34 days), and I last started mid-april (week of 13th). Well I receieved no period when I should of started last week.

So I looked and looked and looked over the internet about when to test. Some websites told me to wait another month; other said wait until your missed period. It has been a short time between sex and a scheduled period which confuses me.

I am getting weird symptoms.. nausea, fatigue, bloating, and irritability. Sometimes on some random times I start cramping real bad.

Stress couldn't be much of a factor.. I have a little stress but everyone has stress. I am happy for the most part.

So any help here on what I should do? Thanks.

Generally, a week is too early for symptoms to show up; if you're nauseous and irritable right now, chances are it doesn't have to do with pregnancy! It's not uncommon to have placebo-effect type symptoms, either.

Obviously that doesn't mean you're not pregnant, though. Most home pregnancy tests are accurate one week after your missed period, so I'd test then. Do a few tests and do it first thing in the morning for the most accurate result.

Good luck! I hope you get the result you want.

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So I'm 15, and pregnant. My mom says I can't keep the baby. She wants me to get an abortion, and at the most an adoption. But I couldn't bring myself to do either. She doesn't want me to keep it! What can I do?
I know it will be hard, and I don't have a job, but before it is born I will be old enough to get a job, and so will my very supporting boyfriend. It's tough, but I have supporting friends, a supporting family, and a supporting boyfriend. But she doesn't want me to have it :( what can I do? What can I tell her?

There is no way your mother can legally force you to get an abortion. The great thing about abortion is that you have a choice on whether you want to consider it an option or not.

However, I do agree with your mother. Having a baby is much, much, much harder than anybody realizes until they go through with it. You say you'll be old enough to get a job, but at age sixteen, the amount you and your boyfriend will make is NOWHERE near the amount necessary for a baby. Doctor appointments, food, clothes, cribs, formula, diapers (hundreds and hundreds of them!) is just the tip of the iceberg.

Plus, you need to look at YOUR life. How are you going to juggle school, a job, and a baby? Who is going to watch it while you're at school? How are you going to hang out with your friends on the weekends? You'll need to go to a college very close to home so someone can watch your baby while you're in classes for the majority of the day-- is your mom going to be willing to do that? If not, you have a problem.

Obviously it's your decision, but please, please put a lot of thought into it. I know a baby seems fun and adorable and cuddly, but it's so much more than that. It's nights of literally getting an hour of sleep because of a screaming baby. It's going through labor, breastfeeding. It's going to be a human being that needs attention almost every hour of every day. It's money, money, money. HOW are you going to support it? Missing school to go to doctors appointments. Walking through the hallways with a pregnant belly.

Good luck. I know abortion is a tough choice, but think about it. Once you do it you can put this all behind you-- your problem will be over, you can grow up like a normal teenager, go to college like a normal teenager, and have a baby when you're ready. Or, if you can't do that, there are millions of couples out there who are dying to have a baby but can't for medical reasons, or anything. Good luck again.

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15/f
lately ive been having these weird thoughts, i dont know if it means anything or what but please help and leave your opinion!


-sometimes when im holding a sharp knife and my someones around i think about what would happen if i stabbed them! NOT TAHT I WOULD! I PROMISE it just crosses my mind!
-im on a second story floor, and look down and wonder what would happen if i just hopped over and jumped!I WASNT CONSIDERING IT (oh yea this is when i realized maybe i was becoming suicidal?)
-i was holding my dog and thought what if i dropped him down the stairs(PROMISE I WOUDLNT!!I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY)
-a kid was standing near by me and i wondered what would happen if i grabbed him and ran

OKAY I PROMISE I WASNT CONSIDERING ANY OF THIS IT JUST CROSSED MY MIND AND I DONT KNOW WHY I EVEN THOUGHT OF IT IN THE FIRST PLACE

-even though i wasnt considering any of this i just wanted to know if you think it will effect me in the long run.

pleasepleaseplease any advice is helpful! and maybe if you think its physological problems ask me any questions i really need help on this! please and thankyou soo much!

It sounds perfectly normal. It's natural to wonder about morbid things-- "If I could choose how to die, what would it be?" or "If I died tomorrow, would people care?". However, when it starts to get more than just curious wonderings, that's when you might need to talk to someone. Being suicidal is something that only YOU personally can figure out-- we don't know you, so we can't know what's going on in your head! If you feel like these feelings are getting out of control, talk to an adult. But right now, as long as you understand that, y'know, dropping dogs down the stairs is wrong, I think you'll be fine :).

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me and my girls friend done with 10th april
when she has her 4th day of periods ok
i used condome on that time i have sex with them
and now still she didnot get her periods plz help me

You can't do anything to speed up a period coming. Stress, however, can stop it. Possibly she's stressed about the possibility of a pregnancy, which is delaying it. Tell her to take a pregnancy test-- it's the only sure way to find out. You can figure out what to do after that.

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I've been reading ads about getting paid to do internet surveys. Is this for real? It feels so badly like a scam, can somebody explain to me what these paid internet surveys are? Where should I go if I want to be safe?

Honestly, I use http://www.valuedopinions.com and it's not a scam. About once every week and a half I get an e-mail saying there's a survey to do, where I get anywhere between $1.50 and $5.00. When you get up to $20, they mail you a check. In my experience, it's been totally legitimate and you don't need to pay a dime. You don't really make that much money with it-- maybe $20 every two months-- but it can add up fairly quickly.

I can't vouch for any of the other ones, but be cautious.

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So my friend is considered a so called "slut" just because she had sex with her boyfriend, i dont care if she did or not. But everyone is telling me she's not innocent. Am i just not looking correctly?? By the way im only 13 n a half and so is my friend.

She's not a slut, but she's an idiot.

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I'll keep this one short and sweet. I am a fourteen-year-old freshman girl. Well, I have a friend who apparently is bi-sexual, and asked out one of his friends who is a boy, and the friend said he didn't want to spoil their friendship, so it was dropped. But then, about a month later, my friend asked me out. Should I be insulted? I mean, I am in no way against gays or anything, but it is a little... I don't know. I do dress kind of boyish I will admit. I dress in zip-up hoodies that I find on sale in the men’s department, but I didn't know it was THAT bad. Should I take a hint, and change myself? Or, am I just over reacting?? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the help! :)

Nope, don't be insulted. For one thing, if someone is bisexual, they are attracted to both sexes. So he could just as easily have been attracted to your femininity.

Second, even if he did think of you as kind of boyish, changing yourself is a bad idea. If you start changing to something you're not, it's going to get worse and worse until you're just doing a lame impersonation of yourself. If you want to start girly-ing up your wardrobe, though, do what you're comfortable with. A headband, a necklace, a ring, etc can be good contrast against a baggy sweater.

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well me and my boyfriend are going to try to have a baby soon and we are looking for some cute, unique names. now so far i have chosen names like Braylin/Braylyn for a girl and for a boy all of the Aidin names.. now so far my favorite names have been Zaidin, i dont want aidin by its self because my cousin has a little boy named aidin and she has named her newest baby girl Slaydin. so i just want some names that are similar to Zaidin and Braylyn. i do however like the name Braidance i kindof just made it up so please help me find some names!

Honestly, I don't like those names. They might sound cute on a toddler, but can you see them on a lawyer? A doctor? A CEO, a President? Plus, the spelling will cause SUCH a hassle. Nobody would know how to spell Braylyn, for example, unless she spelled it out. every. single. time. she met someone.

There are tons of unique, but legitimate names out there with a trendier feel. Here's some ideas:

Girls:
Cadence
Keziah
Avril
Sephora
Seraphina
Bryony / Briony
Cassia
Juliet
Noa
Dahlia
Violet

Boys:
Sawyer
Ian
Holden
Tristan
Jude
Orion

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Is NYU a good school to go to for pre med? I want to become a dermatologist. If so I want to know how to get into NYU. What is the average weighted and unweighted gpa needed to get in for premed? Whats the average SAT score needed to get in? What are ACT's, and whats the average score needed? I'm a sophmore, going to a public high school in the top 300 in the country, but my brother got rejected, and he's gotten straight A's, I havent.My unweighted gpa for the first two years is approximately 3.5, but I'm in 3 honors classes.
I got nominated for the national leadership forum on medicine, im in honors science, regular math but I'm acing it, so my math teachers will write my college reccomendations. I'm also a cheerleader/captain, im dancing all through high school and i've sang since 4th grade, and I plan to finish this through high school. I plan to write for a local literary magazine and complete some extra community service. My father is a highly acclaimed doctor, and im the first child in the family since going after premed for college. I've been student of the month twice, fun fact, I was the freshman homecoming queen. I know I should join some clubs, but what else should I do to stand out? I'm african american, and I have a great chance of winning a small scholarship, like my brother did. Any help is needed, I'm in no rush, and if you went to nyu, got in, or know somebody who did, your advice is highly appreciated. Thanks!

NYU is a great school. The average GPA is 3.6, but since your 3.5 is unweighted (plus, you have 2 more years to go), you should be fine in that area. ACTs are an alternative to SATs. It's only out of 36 points, where the SATs are out of 2400. More and more colleges accept either one of them, but some only take SAT scores.

These are the average SAT scores for each category for NYU students: (each is out of 800)
SAT Critical Reading: 620 - 720
SAT Math: 630 - 720
SAT Writing: 620 - 720

Grades are definitely not the only thing that matters, extracurriculars are a huge portion. Being captain is great; try to get some more leadership positions if you can. I know two guys who go to NYU; one was president of his church youth group (remember, activities don't have to be through the school!) and the other is president of the drama club. So definitely keep doing things like that. Try not to join a million clubs-- colleges would rather have you do a few things that you're really passionate about instead of doing 45 things just to make your application look impressive. They've been doing this for years, they know when you're legitimately into something or not!

Volunteering is crucial. For example, instead of joining a club on Fridays, volunteer at a local nursing home, or preschool, or animal shelter. It looks a lot better, plus you'll feel really good about yourself :). If you sing, going to nursing homes is a great idea. My friends and I organized a group of kids who sing or play instruments, and now we go to nursing homes once a month to entertain them. They love it!

Good luck! You still have time, don't stress.

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hey i need advice as soon as possible. i'm having a little get together tonight and me and my boyfriend got into a fight last weekend so i haven't talked to him all week and itold him to call if he wanted to talk about it..he never did. so i'm having this little party tonight andone of my friends accidentally clued him in on it. i haven't told him about it yet but idk if i should. i love him and we've bee together for 9 months and i plan onmaking it last longer but idk what to do. should i invite him? and how? what should i say to him? thanks so much

Yep, definitely invite him. You need to be the bigger person in this situation-- if he knows there's a party and he's not invited, he can always say "Well YOU didn't invite me!" and have a semi-legitimate reason to be mad. If you invite him and he comes, it means he's ready to start working things out. If he doesn't, then at least you know you can't be blamed for doing anything wrong.

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i dont know what this song is called but here are some of the lyrics

if i struck chords would you sing along with me
if i left town would you leave along with me
lets go to outer space
get away from this place
what do you say we leave for california

California by Metro Station.
Here's a video to it; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT_CYNco0n0&feature=related

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So in about 2 weeks i am graduation from grade 8, and we are having this dance for only grade 8's. This dance is going to be formal, and I want to wear a dress, but not something that would be too formal.
Something along the lines of these:
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dresses&product%5Fid=2050063749&Page=all

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dresses&product%5Fid=2049477444&Page=all#

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dresses&product%5Fid=2049211962&Page=all#

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=dresses&product%5Fid=2048927130&Page=all

now, i dont have a forever 21 near me, but i do have a Mariposa and Le Chateau...my highest price would have to be $80, and i want something formal, yet casual and summery...
Thanks:)

You might want to try Charlotte Russe-- they're very similar to Forever 21, and have dresses mostly under $30. Here's the link:
http://www.charlotterusse.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2903751&cp=2843536

If you want something a bit fancier, Jessica McClintock is great. I'm not sure if there's one near you, but she has adorable little dresses. http://www.jessicamcclintock.com

Good luck!

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Is season five the last season for LOST the show? where can i get more info... i don't care about spoilers... bring'em on! i reallllly want to know what happening after last night's episode!

Ah, I'm with you, I am so pumped for the next two seasons! Season five is supposed to be about WHY they have to go back, and Season six is going to be them actually going back. Unfortunately the big mysteries-- smoke monster, Jacob, etc, won't be completely answered until the last season :(

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How do you pronounce puroette?

The correct spelling would be pirouette :). The prounciation is a bit hard to explain, but it's something like pir-oo-ette. Depending on your accent, the first syllable could also sound like 'peer'.

Hope that helped ;].

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ok so people told me that all 3 of the presidential candidates are Christian but (not trying to offend anyone here) how can you be a Democrat and a Christian?? Democrats are for stem cell research (using developing babies for science!! thus killing them, etc.) and they are for abortion (basically murdering a baby) and they are ok with gay unions and marriages and such. i mean those things definitely go against God!! its right there in the Bible!! im NOT trying to offend im just truly puzzled by how they can support this when it is so clearly not the wish of God. thank you :)

Wow. Just, wow. You clearly need to do some reasearch. Google "seperation of church and state", for one thing. We live in a country where we are lucky to have freedom of religion. It's ridiculous to say someone can't do something because THEIR god says that they can't.

And stem cell research is using developing babies for science?? What?! Okay. Let's say a woman can't get pregnant naturally. Long story short, they'll end up with about 100 stem cells, but obviously won't insert ALL of them into her, correct? They'll use the extras for stem cell research. Nobody else is going to use them, trust me. They'll literally just end up on a shelf for the rest of their life, unless for some reason this woman decides she wants 100 babies. Instead of sitting on a shelf for all of eternity, how about actually using them to save lives?? Gee, what an idea, right? They WILL NOT develop, which you clearly are misunderstanding.

And ZOMG two people are in love with eachother. But AHH both of them have a penis! What shall we do? Clearly we must outlaw this travesty. Because in a country that is the land of the free, we must only allow people to get married if we agree with them. Who cares if they're born with their desire, SURELY it is our duty to decide whether they should be married or not.

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My friends hate me!, im not even joking around. like they dont tell me that but we don't even talk anymore i can't tell them things cause we are so different and they only judge me which makes me feel horrible. so i stared to hang out with people more like me but i feel bad for just up and leaving them all the time, even though they dont really care. but the guy i like is their best friend who i use to hang out with all the time. i think he is only not asking me to be his girlfriend cause of that. idk? someone please just help me. i dont know what to do.

Oh, I truly understand how you're feeling. I had a group of "friends" a few months ago, until I realized that we weren't really friends after all. They always judged me and I didn't trust them, and I was only hanging out with them because I had no one else to go to. Seriously, once I severed ties with them, I felt so much better. You can be a whole new person, and you don't have this whole weight on your chest. Nobody is benefiting from this relationship you have with your 'friends', so there's no point in keeping it up.

I'm sorry about the guy you like, I don't know what to tell you about that. Try to keep in contact with him, there's no reason why you can't be friends / maybe more with him.

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anyone can answer any of the questions

1) difference between blondes/blond word?

2) what types of blondes are there and whats the difference between them all? (dirty, strawberry, ashy, platinum)

1. There's no difference between the words. You can use either one.

2.
Dirty: Darker blonde that's usually mixed with a light brownish color.
Strawberry: More of a reddish-blonde. It's almost a yellow-pink color.
Platinum: Very bright, almost white blonde.
Honey: A golden, almost orange color.

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