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advice
i am 13 and my boyfriend is 19. he wants to have sex with me ? what should i do ?
I'm sorry sweetie but this guy does not love you. He is a pig asking for sex from a thirteen year old who isn't even legally allowed to consent. That shows that he doesn't care about you or your feelings. All he wants is to satisfy his own personal desires. You deserve better than that, let me tell you. I know that you like this guy, but the feeling is not mutual, don't be fooled. I know that you don't like to hear that, so I'm sorry, but I suggest you find someone closer to your age, who respects your wishes, and report this pervert to your parents.
I had a similar experience, and I was molested, so I want to save you from going through that. I wish you all the best, and if you do decide that you wanna stay with him, which I strongly suggest that you don't, don't give in, you are not ready for sex at thirteen. What would happen if you got pregnant for instance? Remember that sex is not the answer, sex is the question, and yes is the answer. And your answer is no.
Good luck, I hope you find someone better. :)
Do you have any suggestion for a birthday gift that ALL men like? I don't know him that well, but I want to give him something he will really remember. :)
In general, I think a gift card is a gift that is pretty much useful for anyone. But if you want to give him something truly special, accompany it with a special birthday message on his birthday card. I know the personal cards I send to my friends on their birthdays are something that they really cherish.
I don't know if you like him or not, and what your relationship is with him, but you do seem to care about him. So write something that will put a smile on his face every time he reads it. I know it might be difficult, since you don't know him that well, but write from the heart, and I believe that if you get it right, it will be something truly meaningful.
Sorry I don't have any more suggestions, I just know that this really works for me, and my friends love it. So good luck and hope I helped. :)
I am a 20 year old female. As the title sums it up, I really can't stop lying. I make up stories about almost anything and about the silliest things. sometimes I don't realize that I'm lying but now that I do I see how much it is affecting important aspects of my life. My relationship with my boyfriend is being jeopardized by this, and recently my lies have been catching up to me. I don't want to be this person, any advice on how to stop?
The first thing I would tell you is to stop and think before you speak. Do you really want to be telling a lie? I'm not sure why you feel compelled to lie. Is it because you are afraid the truth will hurt or embarrass you, or is it second nature to you by now? If you are afraid the truth will embarrass you, when someone asks you a question, you can choose not to answer, and if you feel compelled to lie, just change the subject.
Lying is a big problem. When you lie to someone, you are withholding the truth, and that prevents you from having a real honest connection with that person because you are hiding something from them and you feel guilty, and it's hard to go around carrying a guilty conscience. So how can you change this?
Well I believe it all comes down to an issue of self control. It's going to be hard to stop lying, but only you really have the power to put an end to this bad habit that is hurting you and others. If you feel like you need professional help with this because it is getting really bad and you have no control over what comes out of your mouth and need to understand why you lie, especially when it serves no purpose, you might wanna see a therapist to discuss this issue.
If you wanna do this on your own, challenge yourself to go for a certain number of days without lying, and then reward yourself. It's hard for the liar because sometimes you tell so many lies that you can't keep track of all of them and it becomes overwhelming and stressful. So by going without lying, the biggest reward will be the gift of a clean conscience, and the relationships you will we able to build based on honesty and trust, and the close connections you will finally be able to feel with those around you by being honest with them and telling them the truth. It's way easier said than done, so I wish you good luck in your efforts and I admire you for looking to change. But if you really try and think before you speak, eventually it will get easier and it will be worth it.
Good luck :)
Hope I helped
Well I was just reading what you had on periods jus a quick quetion I got my period like almst abt 2 weeks an I thinks its bac again really lite bleeding and then alil heavier not too scared or anything jus wondering is this a sign of pregnancy cuz my nxt period isn't due til june 18 hmmm it jus makes me wonderin can u plz give me sum advice I thght it cld be stress but wld my period come this early???
Don't stress about it. Getting your period, regardless if it's late or early is a pretty reliable indicator that you aren't pregnant. I know it's scary, but periods can be unpredictable. They don't always happen the same time every month. I don't know your age, but in the first few years of a female starting her menstrual cycle, it takes a while for her body to get into a routine.
If it persists, I would suggest you go visit your doctor to make sure everything is okay. But if it's a one time thing, it's perfectly normal, it happens sometimes.
Good luck! Hope I helped :)
im a very strange person and im basically a psychopath(doesnt make me a killer :p) a psychopath is someone who doesnt give a fuck about people(no empathy) and could be quite charming and thats pretty much me and also im a misanthrope,i find people disgusting,evil,murderers,rapists,sluts,addicts,drinkers,were ALL sinners though some denny it! and a shrink cant help me,i just dont believe in shrinks(those people are the most fucked up ones) and im fucking 15 im so depressed,if i didnt love my parents i wouldve already killed myself,im a very fucked up person and noone knows how much pain i feel,and i cant tell anyone they wouldnt understand the darkness in me,i dont know if ill make it,a piece of me is dead and sometimes i feel broken,it fucking hurts and i feel hopeless for myself and for the world
You're not a fucked up person. Don't believe that. You're going through a lot of emotional turmoil, and the thoughts in your head are not normal. It can be helped though. I think you should go see a psychiatrist. Explain to him/her what you described here, how you feel, the abnormal thoughts in your head. Don't be embarrassed, they've heard many stories like yours and worse.
I'm bipolar and I sometimes have horrible psychotic thoughts (completely different from what your thoughts are though), it's just unbearable, but I can't help or control my thinking, cause what I have is a mental illness. My doctor put me on several anti psychotics, until we finally found the right one to stop those awful thoughts. Meds aren't my first choice, but sometimes they're necessary to save your life and sanity.
Don't diagnose yourself, let a doctor do that.
Good luck! Hope you feel better :)
Looking for a fast and easy way to hurt myself .. wanting attention and/ or to end up in the hospital.. this is the only thing i can think of, i've tried messing up my kidneys and bladder i have tried cutting i have tried beating my head till it bleeds ...nothing..
If you want to harm yourself and you feel like you need the assistance of a hospital, you can just go to your local emergency room and let them know you feel that way. They will admit you and you will talk to one of their psychiatrists they will evaluate you and might send you off to a psychiatric hospital. I've been to a psychiatric hospital before cuz I was harming myself, and it is one of the worst places to be. So I would suggest you rather go see a therapist and discuss these issues with her. I swear you really don't wanna end up in a place like that. It's horrible.
You do need to get help, if you feel like you wanna be hospitalized then you can be hospitalized, they do help you there, but it's not worth it all the suffering that comes along with it. Seeing a therapist and discussing your issues is better, and maybe go see a doctor, you may be suffering from depression. Your therapist will guide you.
Good luck! I hope you feel better :)
Hey, you answered my question earlier. I was just wondering how you think I should tell her. I haven't seen her in a while, and I don't even have her phone number anymore. Do you think a fb message would do?
Hey there! I don't think you should tell her you like her on Facebook. It's much more personal and appreciated if you do it in person. Just take things slow. Message her on Facebook, have a couple conversations. Be friendly, ask her how she's been, what's new, and you can reminisce about old times. Write on her wall and comment on pictures. After a couple conversations, you can ask her for her number, and ask her out over the phone. If she agrees, tell her how you feel when you two meet up.
Good luck and happy holidays :)
I am a junior in college now. Senior year of high school, which was 3 years ago, I had a huge crush in a girl at my school. I really wanted to ask her out to senior prom but I was always shy and I thought she was way to pretty for me and she would say no.
Recently, another friend from high school told me that the girl I liked really liked me too and wanted me to ask her out to senior prom too. I ended up asking my best friend's sister to prom that year. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, and even though it has been almost 3 years I don't know If i should tell her that I actually did like her a lot in high school.
Should I tell her that I liked her too? Should I ask her out on a date? Is it even worth a try? I haven't seen her in a while, but I'm not sure if there may still be a connection.
I think you should definitely tell her and ask her out on a date. The worst that can happen is she'll say no, but it's definitely worth a try. You two can catch up and see if you still have a connection.
If she really did like you in high school and wanted you to ask her to senior prom, she'll probably be happy to know that you did like her after all.
Good luck :)
ok so my ex boyfriend wants me back and these other 2 guys like me which way do i go
Why did you guys break up? Are the issues that caused it resolved? Has he changed at all? You have to ask yourself these questions. Couples break up for reasons, and getting back together rarely works out. You might have a chance if you guys still love each other, are able to work out the issues that caused the break up, and are willing to put the past behind you.
I would tell you to go with the guy you can truly be yourself with and you don't have to pretend. The guy who truly cares about you and makes you happy.
I hope you choose right!
Good luck :)
How Do I Avoid Being Heart Broken From This Relationship I Really Like This Guy , Please Help ! I Don't Want Him To Leave Me !
No one knows what the future holds, no one can guarantee that you guys will always be together, but what you can do is be a great girlfriend, be there for him, and hope for the best.
Just some relationship advice that you might find helpful:
Be the girl he fell in love with. If he got together with you, it's because he saw something special in you that he didn't find in other girls. Don't try impressing him and being someone that you're not because you are afraid he might leave. Just always be yourself.
Honest direct communication is crucial to every healthy relationship. Every relationship goes through some rough patches. There will be disagreements, arguments, times when you unintentionally hurt your partner, or he hurts you. You always need to be honest about your feelings, and if something is wrong, let him know and you guys should be comfortable expressing any concerns you might have and calmly talk through any issues that might arise.
Compromise is a huge deal. You won't always have your way. Being with someone means you will have to make sacrifices sometimes.
Most importantly, be there for him, make him feel loved and cared for. Be the girl he won't be able to resist. If he's the right guy for you, then you don't have to worry that he'll leave you. Don't cling too tight, relax and focus on right now. Right now you guys are together and happy. What will happen in the future? No one knows, but you should know that you deserve the best guy out there, a guy who sees every moment being with you as a privilege. If he's that guy, then you don't have to worry that you'll get your heart broken, and if you guys do go separate ways, then you'll know that it wasn't meant to be, and your prince is still out there waiting for you.
Good luck. Hope I helped :)
I think my boyfriend has been cheating on me. He has been acting very strange around me lately and he is very weird about me being around his phone he hurries and snatches it up as if im going to find something.
TheLonelySoul is right, you shouldn't jump to conclusions without solid evidence. I think you should confront him also, and demand an explanation as to what is going on. You need to be honest and up front with each other if this relationship is going to work. If he's indeed cheating, then you should dump him, but maybe something else is going on, and you don't wanna do something you will regret later.
He is acting strange, and you shouldn't be tortured not knowing why, and suspecting that he's cheating. No matter what is going on, you deserve to know the truth.
Good luck :)
Yhank you very much for the reply and i really appreciate your feedback and advice.I dont want to take up too much of your time but see my situation is a total disaster.I was living together for 18 years with my fiance and and always made excuses and promises that we will get married as i just need more time,in fact i didnt wanted to marry her.She kept on asking me from time to time when are we going to get married but again i was always looking for excuses.So she got fed up and and fell in love with another man from abroad and left the house and went and marry this person after knowing him for only 6 months.She left the house and left a lot of her belongings behind such as her furniture etc. and basically left only with her suitcases.I,m having a daughter of 18 years old with her and currently in grade 12 and writing her matric this year.I had to quit my job after working 29 years with the company because i had to take care of my daughter because i couldnt leave her at home on her own as i was working shifts and we also live in a very dangerous area here in south africa.My ex fiance was helping with the house hold expenses and her assistance is no longer there and i have end up in a financial crisis and can no longer keep up to pay all the bills every month.At this moment i only having enough funds to pay the rent for another 2 months and then have to move out and i havent got the money to rent another place and will eventually end up on the street with my daughter which is very heart breaking.My daughter is also very disrespectful towards me and dont talk to me afer her mother has left and she locked herself up in the room 24/7.I have done everything i could for her by buying her a tv,threadmil,home theatre system and others but she doesnt appreciate it all.I feel i have reached the end of my destination on earth and that my only way out is to take my own life then i dont have to go through all this.My only concern at the moment is that my plan will effect her school results as she will writing her final exam during December this year.Nobody cares about me anymore as well as my family and none of them have offered to try and help me in this very difficult situation.My daughter dont even love me because she doesnt show any interest,i,m trying to be nice towards her but she,s always running away from me and lock herself up in her bedroom.I have nothing to live for anymore and i cant carry on like this,i know of what i,m planning to do will be a sin and trust and believe God will forgive me.I have decided i definitely want to take my own life but i,m looking for a guaranteed way to die peacefully without any any pain and i just cant figure out what is the best way.I want to thank you again for the reply and advice.
Kind regards.
Hey there, your story is very tragic and I'm sorry you have to go through all this. You seem like a good man, and you don't deserve this. From what I read I do not get the impression that your daughter doesn't love you. I'm sure she loves you very much, though she may not show it, and I'm sure there are many more people who love you. I can see why you are feeling so hopeless and dejected. You are strong though, and you have to believe that, and know that you will pull through this. Your situation is very very awful, but there is help out there, both for your depression and your financial situation.
I know that you are very determined to end your life, but seriously, what's the harm in going for help and seeing what happens? You can at least give it a try. Your family may not be there for you, but there are people who care about you and can help you.
I know that you love your daughter, and even though right now she's ungrateful and not appreciating all that you do for her, you are her father and she loves you. If you kill yourself you will absolutely destroy her, you're all she has.
You can't let your situation defeat you. Right now things are very hard, but they will get better, trust me, and I want you to see for yourself.
Don't give up! Give your life another chance, and see what happens.
You say that no one cares about you, well I am one person that does care about you, even though I don't personally know you. You can e-mail me at: alexisgirlie71@aol.com if you need any further advice or assistance.
I hope that you feel better soon. Keep me posted :)
Can anybody urgently help please.
I want to commit suicide in a peacefull and painless way without jumping infront of moving cars , Laying on a railway track ,jumping from a 17 storey building ,cutting my wrists,taking any kind of a tablets.The remedie i,m looking here for should be 100% death guaranteed without any failures.I would prefer to go to bed at night or day and fall of to sleep and never wake up again.If a had a firearm it would have been easy for me.Please help me with advice which is guaranteed. Thank you
No one here is going to advice you on the easiest way to commit suicide. Just as a side note, committing suicide is extremely painful, there is absolutely no easy way to do it.
You have to ask yourself this question, do you want to end your life, or do you rather want your pain to go away and be happy again? Believe me, the second option is far better. You are in unfathomable pain right now, and you don't deserve it, nor do you deserve to die. You deserve a good life, you deserve to be loved, and you deserve to be happy. Don't settle for a life of pain, go get help, your life will get so much better.
I'm sure there are many great things in store for you in the future. There are many people who care about you and love you and they will be absolutely devastated if anything bad ever happened to you.
You just have to reach out to those who can help you. You can call 1800.SUICIDE or 1800.273.TALK, the calls are confidential and they can help you a lot.
Remember that you are a beautiful person of infinite value, and the world cannot afford to lose you, you are too precious.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon :)
i am going through mental depression.i dont want to live more but i recently got married and i dont want my husband feel bad for my death.plz give me solutions what to do
The solution is to get help. You deserve to be happy, not to die. Being that you're so depressed, you can't really think clearly, and suicide seems the only way out of your awful predicament. You just got married, your life is just starting, and there are many many great things in store for you.
It's not fair to have to live like this. There are lots of great people out there who want to help you. Do you really want to end your life, or do you rather want to feel good again and enjoy your life?
If you are here, there must be a reason why. Remember you are important to somebody, you are his entire world, and if you killed yourself he would be heartbroken. You can call 1800.SUICIDE or 1800.273.TALK and have a professional help you. The call is confidential, and you will get the help you need to feel better, hopefully very soon.
Good luck :)
Its been a week that i am in a relationship. i think its not working because my guy wants to make out with me for which i am not ready. i have tried to make him understand but he is not. i really love him. i told him i can't go beyond a passionate kiss with you. please help me, its been very distracting i really want to spend time with him, being naughty but i am not interested in being fucked or blow jobs . i don't know with me its like butterflies in stomach and i really need him
If he loved you, he would respect your decision not to have sex. You're in control of your own body, and what is done to it. If you say no sex, then it's no sex. He needs to respect that. If he doesn't, then it shows that he doesn't really love you or care about you, all he cares about is satisfying his own personal desires.
If there's no respect in the relationship, and your partner doesn't care about your feelings, then the relationship is doomed to fail, and you're only gonna get your heart broken. There are better guys out there, who do deserve to be with you.
I've been in a bad relationship in the past, where I really felt I needed this guy, and even though he wasn't treating me right, I didn't want to let him go. I understand what you're feeling. But the truth is, you deserve to be loved and respected and well cared for by your boyfriend, and this jerk isn't worth another minute of your time.
I'm so happy I got out of the bad relationship, because my current boyfriend is so much better than him, and I realize now how much I was sacrificing for a relationship that was doomed to fail, when I could've had so much more.
You could have your own fairy tale, but you need to stand up for yourself and what you want out of your relationships.
Good luck :)
Hey 17/f
I'm really sensitive. Like the slightest negative thing said about me and I'll cry inside, and when I get home the water works will come on.
I really want to develop a thick skin but don't know how. What does any one else do?!
You need to believe in yourself and build up your self-confidence. If people bully you, it's because they're insecure and weak and that's why they take it out on others. Tell yourself that you are not a garbage truck, and you are not gonna go around collecting all the trash people feed you. It's gonna take time, but eventually you'll stop caring what other people have to say about you, because you know that you are a wonderful person, and you deserve to be treated right.
When someone hurts you, you can listen to what they have to say, acknowledge and tell yourself what you are feeling, as well as your physical symptoms. For instance, someone says something mean to you, you tell yourself: "I am feeling sad, my throat constricts and I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. I feel angry, I feel my muscles tighten," and so forth. After you acknowledge it, absorb it, and understand what you are feeling, you can make the choice not to get involved with these emotions, but just let it go. It helps to understand what happens when you get sad, and know that you have control over your emotions and your reaction.
It takes a couple times of practice, but eventually this method works wonders, and before you know it, bullies just won't get through to you, you won't care what they have to say.
Good luck
Hope I helped :)
My friend wants too kill himself is there anyway I could try and stop him?
You seem like a very caring friend, and what your friend is going through is very painful, and he could use a friend like you. The way to stop him is by telling a responsible adult what is going on, and let the professionals take over. You could try encouraging him to tell someone himself, but if he doesn't listen then you should do it. He will probably reject you at first and be angry with you, but it's the right thing to do, and he needs to get help. Be there for him along the journey to recovery. Hope he gets better.
Good luck :)
I am petrfied of flying and this week I'm going America.
I will yell at anyone that reminds me of flying, I am so scared that i keep thinking it's going to crash. I have bought tablets that'll put me to sleep but I feel as though they won't help I'm so scared that I can't even explain. I will go into panic mode and I know it, I won't be able to read a book or listen to music because i'll feel like I need to hear everything that goes on incase some thing happens. Please help me try and overcome this before I fly !
If you go onto the plane with the conviction that you'll go into a panic mode, then the chances are that you probably will. I was really afraid the first time I boarded a plane, and when it took off, I was numb. But eventually I just forgot I was even on a plane. There are lots of things to do there that will distract you.
Instead of imagining the worst, try to relax, and tell yourself that it's gonna be fine. You still have lots of dreams you need to pursue, lots of things you still need to accomplish in life, and it's not gonna end here. Life without taking risks is boring.
Remember that it's okay to be afraid, just don't give in to the fear. Rise above it, be courageous. If you are going crazy in your head, you may want to visit your doctor, and ask for a prescription of a sedative such as Alprazolam.
I've been there, and I've survived it, and let me tell you that after a few minutes it wears off. Tell yourself to relax, and enjoy your time on the flight listening to music, watching movies, talking with your neighbors, and not focusing on the fact that you're on a plane.
Good luck
Hope I helped :)
My name is berry and i am 23 , i met a guy from my country on facebook year and half ago and i fell in love with him crazily, though he said that he is with another one whom he committed to, i insisted that he is the one because i saw in him what i didn't see in other men, he tried to tell me to think with my brain not my heart but i said it is ok and i will love him silently , day by day our relationship was getting closer until after a month he said that he loves me, of course we were talking hours online and on phone, he said that is committed to that girl with marriage because he promised her..our relationship was perfect perfect, something that is very pure , beyond imagination and real honest . i told him about my past with a guy who turned out to be his friend , he asked me for honesty and i was very honest and we were ok, i noticed that he cares so much for details and it was very romantic in our relationship but very ugly when it comes to discussing my past.. he is a very loving person, much close to be an angel, he built my personality and he helped me Succeed everything , he showed me all love and happiness in the world and i loved him more and made him even happier..he broke up with the girl he was with because he couldn't live the lie anymore with her then he came from the country where he works in June to the country where i live to propose me .. i cant tell you how much i am nervous or afraid that he did this , i was so nervous because pre marriage relations are forbidden in our society, he asked me to come to a hotel so we can meet together, i was so attracted to him , wanting to do it all , but i couldn't do anything because i want to start right with him after marriage , he left my country and he was ok with it and he said that i respected you even more. i was having a very tough time in collage because it was my senior year and i felt that i neglected him a lot , but it was the biggest pressure in my life , in the beginning of July he asked me to stay alone for three days , i was surprised because he never asked that before but i let him be. then he started changing blaming me for my past accusing me of not loving him much "he has a past with more then one" , he started acting weirdly , not caring of my feelings and he justified that by saying that he has depression and that he will got back to his senses , i was suffering everyday with his discussions , questions about my past , until one day he said that it is better for us not to get marry because he can't handle not thinking about my past. i tried to convince him not to , and whatever happened in the past that i am still a virgin and not much happened comparing to his , it is just that i wanted to start it right with him. he will come to my country soon to "convince" me , well i can't be convinced because he is the love of my life and that our story is much bigger then these minor details , he said that he couldn't stop thinking or comparing with my past , i told him to get a therapist opinion but he said he is not sick..i don't want our relationship to be ruined because of idiot ideas , i need him in my life , he is my soul and breath and i know for sure that he will regret , so how can i convince him not to? how he can forget and conquer the past?i am tortured by the past and i regretted it very much.
p.s : i can't live with him really , he is bigger then life for me
Yemen
Hey Berry,
I am so sorry for your situation. I can't imagine how tough it must be for you. I also don't have a very nice past, and I know it's embarrassing to share your past with your boyfriend. Being honest is indeed crucial in order to have a healthy and successful relationship. But there are limits. The past is the past after all, and it shouldn't be haunting you because your boyfriend wants to know every detail. That's not being nice, that's being too nosy. I gladly share my past with my boyfriend, but again, not every stupid detail which isn't relevant anymore. A true friend doesn't judge you but wants to help you. As you say, your boyfriend used to still care for you even after you told him, that shows that he's nice. I believe the reason it suddenly changed is probably because of his depression. Don't think that he doesn't love you anymore. Maybe he is so depressed that he doesn't think he deserves you anymore because you are so wonderful.
A depressed brain can't think clearly, so I believe the most important thing to focus on in this situation is making sure he gets help. Even if he does end up marrying you, you won't be happy for long if your man is all depressed and doesn't respond to your love.
Relationships are beautiful, but they shouldn't completely rule your life. Just because you love this boy to death, and believe me I know what it feels like, doesn't mean that you have to let him have his way all the time. Just because he wants to know every detail of your past, doesn't mean you have to tell him. I mean, does he share every detail of his past with you? If he truly loves you like he says he does, he will respect your decision to keep some things private.
I know you won't like to hear this, but if this guy can't give you all the love you need and make you happy, then maybe you should find a boy who can. The one thing I've learned from my mistakes is never to settle in a relationship. You deserve the best, so you gotta have the best. It may feel like he's the love of your life, and maybe he is, but if this behavior continues, maybe it's time to move on.
Make sure he gets the help he needs, and one day he'll love you for that.
Good luck and I hope everything turns out alright :)
I used to write poems for my girlfriend but after a while I ran out of things to say so I started looking for a good love poem on google but didn't find any that suit her... Where can I find some decent love poems?? Please help!!!
I don't know where you can find love poems, but let me tell you this from my point of view. I think that writing love poems for your girlfriend is a beautiful thing to do. I'm sure she cherishes them. My boyfriend writes love poems to me too, and the reason they are more beautiful than love poems I've read written by others, is because they come straight from his heart, and they are written specifically for me. That's what warms my heart, and my love for him grows deeper with each love poem.
If you run out of things to say, then that's okay. Take a break. Love poems written by someone else, no matter how good they are can never compare to a love poem that comes straight from your boyfriend's heart, and everything written in there was written for you. That's unparalleled, and I'm sure she would appreciate that much more.
Good luck :)