I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 64958
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ok so i have been friends with this girl sence she moved her in fifth grade. and i have been frieneds with the other girl since like pre-kay and the sad thing is we got in a fight over the summer and in the middle of the school year we all made up were alll best friends well tahst what i thought but every time i wanna hang out with my best friend the one ive known since 5th grade well she says yeah and the day we are supposed to shes with my other best friend and they never tell me when were supposed to go see a movie they tell me im comeing with them but then they dont call me to tell me what time they are goign an dthen they call me in the movie and say oh we forgot about u sorry i forgive them and now shes like getting on my nerves adn its not fair how they ditch me every time and they are supposed to be my bfflas and they arent really??i have no clue what my question is but why are they still mad at m ei have not done wronge to them even in the fight it was them ganing up on me!some friends riight? (link)
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It's a bit difficult to have to explain this..but the truth is that most people will not remain friends with their childhood friends throughout their lives. It would be wonderful if there was such a thing as 'best friends for life', but the truth is that as we grow and change, we become so different that the people we are don't always match with the friends we once had any more.
It sounds as though these friends are not just leaving you out of everything but they are actually trying to mess with your head for their own amusement. You could try talking to them about it, if you wanted. Take them somewhere that is neutral ground - a coffee shop or somewhere similar and just come straight out with it. Ask whether they still want to be friends with you because the way they have both been actin towards you makes you believe they do not. If they say they do, give them another chance. If they really are friends, they will come to their senses, apologise and everything will go back to normal. If they aren't....well....you will know.
Worst comes to worst, you may have to cut them out of your life as your friends. They may come back again later on, but for the time being they are only hurting your self confidence and doing their best to upset you. You don't need people like that in your life, so try to make some new friends who will treat you with more respect. Join a club or other group and you should make new friends quickly.
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Can the gyno tell if you are masturbating? (link)
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No. There is absoloutely no way at all they can tell that! Your hymen may be broken but as that can also happen with vigorous exercise like bike riding, horse riding and so on, not to mention it can also easily get broken by using tampons, this does not indicate anything.
Trust me on this, they can't tell any more than anyone else could.
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hey i have been with a guy for 2 years and my parents say they trust me and they know him well but they will not let us hang out alone. and we arent even going to 3rd yet so i dont know if they think we are worse than we are but what are some things i can say to them to make them allow us to hang out alone?
15/f (link)
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In all honesty, there might not be anything you can say to them to make them let you be alone together. The truth is, it has nothing to do with you as a person or your boyfriend as a person. It's more to do with raging hormones and the two year-long relationship.
The problem is that you are now in that nice stage of your relationship where you will be very comfortable with each other and with hormones kicking in, you could very easily get carried away. This is no reflection on you as a person, but more an objective point about most people of either gender between the ages of around 15 and 19. It is extremely easy to get carried away and end up doing something your parents will regret!! It's not that they want to ruin your fun. It's just that with the very high teen pregnancy rates and with any potential you currently have for a future, they want to protect you against making a mistake that could potentially take your bright future away from you.
I know it might not seem this way, and you might think this very bad advice, but the best thing you can do for the moment is to tell your Mum (if you feel comfortable) that you are not having sex and do not intend to for a while yet, and until you turn 16 at least, do as your parents say. Ultimately, they will eventually give you some freedom if you hold off until you are of legal consenting age.
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When I was younger, I used to be very hyper and energetic. I wasn't afraid to act a little crazy sometimes, and I was very confident. However, now I'm 15 and naturally, I got more mature. In fact, people say that I've changed a lot, and that I've become boring. I thought that I was just being immature, but people used to like being around me. Should I go back to being playful and carefree, or am I too old for that now? (link)
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People mature at different rates and this can often cause conflict as people get older. You have matured to a stage in your life that your friends have not necessarily reached yet. Because of this, they feel that you are boring and you might find their behaviour immature. It's not necessarily that either side is right or wrong. In time, they will start to move away from their current behaviour and will act more mature but in the meantime, they aren't there.
There's no reason you can't all have fun together, but you need to find some new common ground. Try to think of something you would enjoy doing, whether it is all going for a meal or taking up a new hobby, going to the cinema or bowling. See how it goes. If you all have a brilliant time, great! If you don't, then it might be worth perhaps spending a little less time with them and either spending more time with just you or maybe join a club of some kind and make more friends. Don't necessarily drop your old friends. Just expand your social circle to include peeople you have more in common with for the time beeing. Then, when your friends catch you up, you'll be able to enjoy their company more and you'll have more friends to hang out with already!
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Which is better, to have an outgoing personality where everybody knows you, which makes you more susceptible to rumors, or to be quiet and kind of standoffish so that no one notices you, and therefore won't talk about you? I know its a weird question, but I was curious. Thanks (link)
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Personally. I would always go without outgoing and having everybody knowing you. The fact is, people will always spread rumours. People will always gossip and people always say bitchy things. BUT, if you have an outgoing and friendly personality, you are less likely to be talked about in a negative way and you're likely to have the right sort of frame of mind to deal with the rumours and gossip when they do happpen.
Although being more of a loner does mean less risk of getting hurt, it also means less chance of anything good happening to you. Ultimately, the risk of being open and friendly and positive brings a greater reward.
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ok so my 10 year old sister has a 13 year old friend and her friend only talks about what fun she is going to have with her other friends and she never wants to hang out with my sister and she even told her about her birthday party and how much fun its going to be but my sister wasnt invited my sisters friend is always talking about stuff that my sisters isnt invited to it really hurts her feelings what should me or my sister do about it thank you so so so much if anyone takes the time to answer this question PPPEEAAACCCEEE OOUUUTTT (link)
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I know what it's like and it is absoloutely horrible. This girl doesn't sound like a very good friend but part of the problem is going to be the age gap. Although it might not seem like much, there's a big difference between 10 years old and 13 years old and although it's very possible this girl is deliberately showing off about her supposed 'wonderful life' to make your sister feel bad, it's also possible that she's got to the 'self-obsessed teenage stage' that means she just forgets about anyone else's feelings.
Try to get your sister involved in some out of school groups and activities, which will give her the opportunity to socialise with a greater circle of people. Ultimately, this girl does not sound like she will ever be the sort of friend your sister deserves, so she needs to try to make some new ones. Spend some time with her. Help her build up her confidence and then introduce her to a fun group, doing drama or a sport or something else. It will boost her confidence no end and do her the world of good to make new friends.
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Slaughter houses, disgust me. I want to change slaughter houses, the killing animals can somebody tell me how i could help?
I'm only 14/f. (9th grade)
The only meat I eat is chicken, and I can't help it but i still feel bad afterwords.
Why can't farm owners cant wait untill the animal dies, then slaughter and sell it? Thats organic right? Instead of slicing its neck open with tears dripping down its eyes. ):
Supposly the islamic method makes the animal feel no pain.. is this true?
Is there something i could go to school for, to change the method of killing animals?
I want my job to help animals, but i do not want to be a vet. JUst some suggestions on anything i've asked or written would mean alot to me. (link)
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Your goal is a very noble one, but you need to be warned that it is a very difficult goal to achieve. Many, many vegetarians and animal defenders alike have campaigned against the poor treatment of animals on farms and in abattoires, but without much real success.
Vegetarianism is the obvious route if you don't like the way animals are killed but there's no point kidding yourself that it will mean the deaths of fewer animals. It just doesn't happen like that. And unfortunately, waiting for animals to die is also not an option, as it negates the possibility of, for instance, lamb. Animals that die of supposed natural causes would require extensive tests to eliminate disease before being passed for human consumption. Organic generally relates to the way animals are kept and fed, rather than the way they are killed.
I would generally recommend against supporting groups like PETA. Although their work is for the good the animals, they're methods are so extreme that they are not often taken seriously by larger companies, who are responsible for the largest portion of the animal meat market.
What you could do instead is to support animal welfare groups like the US version of what is known as(in the UK) the Royal Society For the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. If you train and work with such groups, you can contribute to the welfare of animals in farms and help to research more animal-friendly terms of slaughtering animals, while helping prevent unnecessary cruelty. If you look up groups like these, they will tell you the sorts of courses you can take before and after leaving school, to help you work your way in these sorts of careers.
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16f.
im not bi or anything but i know a girl who is and like evry time i talk to her she likes a new person... he even likes 4 ppl at once and i dont get how she can... i stuck up for her when ppl were calling her a slut and saying shit about her but now im begging to think she is a slut like cos she goes out with one person and likes another and she will break up with a them and have another boy/girl friend the next week... is she a slut? im not bi i no im not... but i keep thinking about her like since i saw her last but im not sure why...?
do i like her cos i that she would probably break my heart if i did anything about this... i dont think i like her cos im not bi and i never have been. so i dnt get what is going on...?! (link)
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You're 16 so this is about the time in your life where hormones are really starting to kick in and it is the general time where people do start to question their seuxality. Not necessarily because they are homosexual or bisexual, but because it is natural to explore your sexuality to a degree and experiment with your options. As this is possibly the first person with homosexual tendencies that you have met, it makes sense that you are intrigued. It doesn't mean you're gay; just that you are curious.
This girl's behaviour implies a lack of self esteem, above everything else. It sounds as though she is seeking validation from other people by dating around. It might also be that perhaps she is not yet settled in her sexuality and is testing all the waters available. Plunging deeper still, it could be a form of rebellion againsst her childhood. The point is, you won't know her reasons without talking to her. So why not try that? It could well be that with everyone calling her names, she has nobody to talk to and with the amount of general problems 16 year olds have, it's important to always have a friend. So spend a little time with her. Talk. Let her know you are there if she wants to talk. You don't have to date her but there's no reason you can't be friends. She'll get a lot from it and I expect you will as well.
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Okay so my state (TN) has decided to mandate that every student K-12 get 90 minutes of excersize a week. Well they are using our homeroom time at my school to do just that. I think it is incredibly stupid because its not the school's responsibility to tell us what to do as far as excersizing goes. It is so damn retarded I can hardly stand it. I HATE coming to school now. OMG as if it wasnt bad enough LETS THROW IN SOME EXCERSIZE!!! Plus my homeroom teacher is strict with the rules, so if we dont do these excersizes every morning, she will write us up. I dont feel like I can talk to her because she wont understand. And I cant sit there and object while everyone else is doing it because that will draw negative attention to me. I get enough attention as it is for being fat. And thats not the reason I dont want to do the excersizes. It's just that 15 minutes is a long time for someone who is as heavy as I am and its embarassing to have my fat jiggle around for the whole freaking class to watch and laugh at. I would much prefer to excersize in PRIVACY where I dont have to worry about what I look like. High school is bad enough as it is. I think this is pure torture and I really want to refuse to do it. But I dont want to bring negative attention to myself. WHAT SHOULD I DO???? and what is your opinion on our new state law?? (link)
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I can see why you are upset but I must say I think it's a brilliant idea. America has, I belive, the highest obesity rates in the world and this is their way of ensuring everybody's quality of life is improved.
Reading what you have said, your only real issue with the exercise is that your weight embarrasses you. If this is the case, you would most likely feel a lot better if you could lose some of that weight. This is their way of trying to help you to do that.
The bottom line is that you can't do anything about the exercise you have to do at school. You have to go to school to get a good education (or believe me you will live to regret it) and if that means 15 minutes of exercise a day, so be it. However, you can minimise the way it makes you feel. Take this as an opportunity to turn things around. Start exercising at home as well and start eating a healthier diet. Then watch the weight drop off and your confidence soar! When you can out-exercise so many other people in your class, you'll feel much happier in yourself. Just remember to take it easy and not do too much at once, or you'll give up at the first hurdle.
There are lots of tips on losing weight and getting healthy on the internet but I would strongly recommend that you speak to your doctor first about what you want to do, as if you are quite overweight, they will be able to help you get the assistance you need.
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Okay I'm 5/f. I'm a virgin. I've been having this watery discharge for a longggggggg time. Like three years. It's basically just water like pouring out of me and it smells really bad...And I do mean pouring. My whole underwear is like soaked at the end of the day...I've talked to my mom about it, but she basically blows it off. Sometimes it's like chunks of goo...ha ew. But yeh I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wear a pad and it even goes through that! HELP please. What is this?! (link)
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It's normal to get some discharge but this does sound rather unusual. If it smells particularly offensive, it might be a yeast infection. I would recommend you speak to a doctor about this. It may not be an immediate cause for concern but it does sound to me like an infection and you may need antibiotics.
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i had sex for the first time 2 nights ago and to my surprise, i didnt bleed at all. im not positive if i had broken my hymen before from sports... is it possible if we have sex again it could break then? (maybe i just got around it somehow?) and also this morning i noticed discharge that was a light red (i know it's not my period) is this normal? (link)
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If you have already had sex and achieved full penetration then your hymen would have broken then. It is most likely that your hymen broke previously.
If you only noticed the light red discharge this morning, it's unlikely this was your hymen breaking because the blood ordinarily appears earlier than this. However, it is possible that perhaps it might have been the result of a friction-graze. If you know it's not your period, this is probably the most likely cause. If it carries on for more than three days and you're still certain it isn't your period, then you might need to see your doctor.
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what are under skin pimples?
i heard something about a hot rag , does that get rid of acne?
(link)
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Spots are basically areas of skin where sebum (an oil naturally produced by the body) becomes blocked in pores which have become filled with dirt and general grime from daily routine. This hardens into what is known as a blackhead. Bacteria than gets caught in these blackheads and causes them to become inflamed. Sometimes they turn into whiteheads (the one we expect most often)and some don't.
The main thing to remember is that when you see a spot, you shouldn't necessarily always squeeze it. If it's red, leave it alone; if it's yellow, you can squeeze it; and if it's green, speak to a doctor because they shouldn't be that colour!
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Is there anyway to actually get rid of dark circles underneath your eyes besides hiding them with cover up? I know it's from a lack of sleep, but I've been sleeping a lot lately and they're still there. (link)
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The dark rings under the eyes aren't just from lack of sleep. It is also bruising. If you rub your eyes a lot or are too harsh when you put on or take off make-up, they will get worse or at least stay there for however long it takes them to fade.
Other than a combo of foundation and concealer, the best thing is to put a cold flannel or similar over your eyes once or twice a day and treat the undereye area very gently. After a few days, you should notice they start to fade.
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What flavors do guys like when kissing a girl? Like what flavor lip balm or gloss would you like the gilr to be wearing? (link)
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Most guys really don't care about the flavour of lip balm/gloss. They're pretty much just glad they're getting kissed!!
The problem with what you're asking is that it is impossible to tell because everyone is different. Say you go for strawberry flavour, or kiwi flavour, but then it turns out he hates those flavours.
My advice would be not to bother with any balm or gloss of any flavour. Wear whatever you want to wear on your face. Nothing if that's what you prefer. At the end of the day, it's coming off when you kiss the guy anyway!
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is herbal essence hair dye good or bad? im thinking of dying my hair with one of their products. (link)
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I dye my hair with Herbal Essences Fearless Colour. I'm actually doing it again tomorrow!
It's the best permanent colour I have tried so far. The best way to sustain the colour is to use the conditioner given until it runs out and then use the Herbal Essences Colour Treated Hair Conditioner (The orange non-see through bottle). It works in a similar way to the conditioner in the dye pack. I'm only dying my hair now for the first time since New Year's and that's really only because my roots have grown out so far!
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over the past maybe, 6 months?, i've been steadily losing weight. not really enough to have a huge impact or be really noticable [unless you're with me all the time, like my boyfriend], but it seems to have no reason at all.
none of my shorts or pants from last summer fit, because they're all too big. i do play soccer in the fall, and some during the early winter, but i haven't really played but here and there since november. could it have been that my metabolism sped up for soccer, and then it's just stayed that way? i'm almost positive it's not related to any sort of diet. i possibly have the worst diet ever, to be completely honest. i'm extremely picky and i eat a lot of sugary foods. so, does anyone has any idea what it could be, or why this is happening? i just don't want it to be a health problem or anything. (link)
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In the case of unexplained weightloss, especially when accompanied with any other unusual symptoms, should always be raised with a doctor.
There could be many perfectly harmless explanations for your weight loss. For example, a growth spurt, more regular and rigorous exercise and so on. However, weight loss can be a symptom of a number of different things and you should raise it just to be on the safe side.
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is there any form of birth control that is only temporary? i'm going to a youth retreat to camp out in june, and i just calculated that i'll be on my period. there isn't electricity, most of the time you use porta-potties, and the showers & toilets are on the whole opposite side of the campground [which is usually a very far way to walk and a long wait for a shower stall.] so i'm wondering, is there anything i can do to either prevent my period from coming that weekend, or any type of birth control i can go on for just that week? anything is helpful. (link)
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Is it actually birth control you want or is it purely something to prevent your period from coming while you are away?
If you want birth control, the last adviser is absoloutely right, you can get a short term injection that lasts just three months, approximately.
Should it be something to keep the dreaded period away only that you want, speak to your doctor. I had the same problem a few years back and my doctor prescribed me some pills. You start taking them about four days before you are due, then one every day until you are ready to get your period. This should sort your problem.
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I'm 15 years old and I can't swallow pills. :(
I can swallow pasta whole and recently I swallowed a vitamin that was coated in something that made it slippery so it was easier to swallow but not everything comes like that, of course. And I don't remember how I did that. It's really annoying because I just got these pills but I CANNOT swallow them. I've practiced with tic tacs but even they don't go down. I try putting it in my mouth then gulping water and tilting my head back but it doesn't work. What's wrong with meee?! (link)
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Actually, this is a very common problem. I myself know two people at least who can't swallow tablets and another person who can but only with the assistance of a bottle of Cola!
Try a tactic the woman I sit next to at work uses. She has a back problem and has to take several lots of painkillers a day. Have a little bit of something to eat. A sandwich or similar. Put a smallish bit of it in your mouth, chew and throw the tablet in when you're ready to swallow. Because you're ready to swallow your mouthful already, you shouldn't notice the tablet going down.
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ok so im dating my best friend she asked me out yesterday and ok well its nothing serious and its not public. im middle school most people are not ok with gay people yet so yea. the thing is i only said yes to her because well every guy shes ever liked has rejected her and i kinda felt bad. i dunno if she really likes me. she said she doesnt and that she just wants to make sure she is bi by dating a girl. okay but ive never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before and this is all new to me. somehow it doesnt feel right and i dont wanna end up hurting her. its the last thing i wanna do. maybe she does like me but is just covering it up so i dont wanna break up with her. ugh and well i just got over a guy friend - my other best friend- and he and i flirt around a lot, so she might get jealous? i dunno please someone anything works. im just so confused at this point. ahhh thanks. (link)
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I once did a similar thing with a guy I knew. He asked me out and he was a genuinely nice guy but never really dated before and he really liked me, so I said yes.
I went on ONE date with him because I worked out that far from being attracted to him, he actually kinda gave me the creeps.
My point is, most people would do this. It doesn't mean you're really a bad person, it just means your good intentions were a little misguided. This girl is probably thinking "Yay! A girl who wants to date me!" and has no idea what you're thinking.
You need to talk to her and let her down gently. Just explain to her that the relationship isn't working for you. It's not that you don't like her but you just feel like there's no chemistry. The spark isn't there and it's better to tell her now than to keep letting her believe something that isn't true.
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I'm in love with my boyfriend(15) who I leaving for a month and a half long trip to Europe soon. We've been dating for nearly eight months and its getting harder and harder to think about saying goodbye. I was wondering if there's anything special I can do for him. (I'm planning on making him a little journal thing with letters from me and pictures of us) Also, what should I do for the month he's gone, of course I'm going to catch up with old friends, but it'll be summer and I'm used to spending every day with him. I'm sure this is going to be hard, how should I handle this? (link)
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There's one idea I once thought of which struck me as nice. Make him a cassette tape with you talking on it. You can record yourself saying something funny or singing something or whatever you feel like that's vocal. If he has a cassette player, he can play it any time he misses you or wants to hear your voice.
I also very much like your idea of the journal with letters frm you and pictures of you both. I really think that's a fantastic idea and he can keep it with him and look at it as many times as he likes.
It will be hard but you know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. Don't worry, he will come back.
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