18/f, he's 22. We both work together in a grocery store. He used to be my supervisor but he moved to be supervisor of another department so he isn't technically above me anymore. We went to the same high school so I always thought he was cute. He was the one to train me on register when I first started out and thinking back on it, even that was awkward-he would talk to me and walk me through how to do things but he was still shy then. One day I was on self check and he was restocking the impulse candy in the closed lane right next to me, a customer asked me something that I wasn't sure on the answer of so I went over and asked him and he was still awkward about it then, speaking very quietly to me so he just bypassed me and went straight to the customer and when he started talking to the customer, he was laughing and speaking at a normal level and everything, it's weird to see his personality change with whom he's around.
Now, I never really gave it much thought, I was always negative about it thinking that a guy as cute as him would never go for a girl like me. However, he was out at the bar with my brother's girlfriend the other night since they're friends and she texted me and apologized that she was tipsy and she "word vomit" to him that I think he is so cute. To which, she says, he replied "she's definitely cute" so she told him he should probably talk to me then because I'm shy and he said that he's really shy around me too.
But now it's like, we both know what the other thinks and now it's more awkward. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? When two people know the feelings of the other, shouldn't it be easy to communicate? Nope. Not for us.
Many people know of our situation at work. He is friends with a lot of people at our work and I talk to a lot of them as well. Like, he's the hang out outside of work kind of friends with them but I'm the type of only hang out with them inside of work and I'm friends with the rest of the people that he isn't.
So, it's kind of comical to me to have everyone tell me they're going to get us to talk because nobody really understands just how shy he is around me because he isn't shy around anybody else. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not talking down on him because I'm shy around him too, if I wasn't, there really wouldn't be an issue to discuss here. I have people come up to me all the time, like oh "he was up here earlier and we talked for a good ten minutes before he was called back to do mods" or "he was just up here, he asked if you were working" - because I know he comes up a lot to help elderly customers do carry outs and that kind of thing because I see it, we make eye contact a lot as he's walking up or out the door, we just can't ever say anything. I even have the strangest supervisor (I'm not kidding, she'll just magically disappear for ten or so minutes sometimes and someone will find her in the back of the store, just feeding the goldfish, telling us that she could sense they were hungry) and she said he talks to her a lot and when she tells me that and she sees that I get irritated, she always says "yeah, well at least you know he can't talk to you because he likes you, I think a lot of girls would take him being shy because he liked them instead of just chatting like good friends" and I have to admit, that makes me feel better because a lot of girls that work with us tend to like him and think he's cute and he can talk to all of them normally.
However, lately, ever since he's gone to the bar that night with my brother's girlfriend, I've noticed he's been, I guess trying in his own way. He'll come through my self checkout when he knows I'm working which he never used to do but he still won't say anything. Or he'll come up for his returns sometimes and he'll look at me and smile when he walks by, but you guessed it, still doesn't say anything.
Yesterday, a friend of ours that used to work with us came in to buy some things and when he was finished, he stopped to talk to me and catch up and ask how everything was. When we were nearing the end of our conversation, he asked if any of his friends, that he used to hang out with when he worked with us, were working and at that time, the mute walked up and I pointed to him and they started talking. Our friend included me in the conversation too and I would laugh at both of their jokes and our friend would keep talking to me and him but he would only talk to our friend and not me. So, yes, when I say that he's shy... I mean it 1000% that he can't even talk to me in a group conversation.
So, I guess my question is: is this a lost cause? I know he isn't ever going to talk to me, it's just something I feel in my gut. And I have a feeling that I'll be too nervous for a while to say anything to him too. I've been planning on leaving my number on a sticky note and leaving it on his car one day but his one friend said he won't ever text me until he talks to me so that'd just be useless. I just don't know what to do. And please don't even tell me it's as simple as just saying hi because as I've stated numerous times, it's basically impossible for either of us to speak to each other which is what is leading me to believe how useless wasting my time on him is.
Thanks for any input!
I used to be too shy to talk to anyone, so I started meditating. It helps give confidence and make it easier to talk. Honestly, I think ️leaving your number is a great idea. If you don't start somewhere, then things will only continue to be awkward and you don't want to be 40 years old and still be staring at each other too scared to make the first step. Texting is always the best way to break someone out of their shell, including yourself. It's easier to talk your not face to face and neither of you can hear each other's voice. People write out their feelings sometimes, so texting can be easier for most people. After a while, he should eventually be able to talk to you, and you to him. Maybe put your name and number on the sticky note and say you hope he will text you that night. He may be kinda scared to text you, and may be hesitating till late that night, but should eventfully text you that night being afraid you could be upset or disappointed. I hope this will work for you, and best of luck to you. Im rooting for you guys!✊😃✊
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I was wondering.. Is it ok for a 22 year old male to date a 17 year old girl as long as both are alright with it and everything is concentual?
If you both are happy together, then go for it. You could make a whole new Romeo and Juliette story. Just make sure this has a happy ending and doesn't end up like Romeo and Juliette. It's only five years difference and my grandparents are six years apart. Just think, when your 25, she'll be 20. When your 30, she'll be 25. When your 35, she'll be 30 and so on. When you look at it like that it doesn't seem like to big a difference. If you like her, and she likes you, then do it!😀
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what do i do? i am a girl my best friend is a boy and i have a crush on him, how do i tell him it without it being super awkward?
If your best friend is a boy, there is more of a chance he feels the same way that not. Guys seem to fall for the girl first. To see if he feels the same way, pay attention to his body language. Does he listen close you what you say? Does he smile a lot around you? Does he casually bring up places to go? Does he sometime seem nervous? Now this last one may not be the case, because if you are best friends then he may be used to being around you, or could be like me and is easily able to put a mask on how he's really feeling. There has to be someone else you both trust and talk to. If so, speak to him/her because there is a good chance that friend would know. Probably came for advice on how to make the next step or something. If there isn't anyone like that, speak to someone he hangs out with sometimes and ask him/her how he feels. If there isn't anyone and you just want to go up to him yourself, then beat around the bush while still bringing the point across. Maybe make a joke on you guys going out or something and see how he reacts. Try to go places with him more like to eat or the movies. You could go as friends, and if he truly enjoys himself he might think of you as someone to date. I hope I helped~
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My brother is 35 years-old, and for a VERY long time, has fallen into the pattern of dating girls who are superficial and manipulative. He also has a problem where he gets serious VERY quickly and basically allows who he dates to take advantage of him. The excitement of being in a relationship blinds him to the red flags that I see all to clearly. That said, he has been dating a girl for about 2.5 months, she is 26, already divorced, and has already brought some of her things to his apartment and had my brother pay $400 to have someone organize his entire place (not to mention she put up decorations, etc)... obviously it seems a plot to infiltrate his life. When we went out a couple times, her behavior struck me as bizarre- overly high energy, and attention seeking. When we were all in a cab, at one point she put her hand on my brother's mouth and said ,"no one cares what you think." The entire ride, she was spastic, overly high energy, etc. I can see she is superficial, manipulative, and attention seeking. Worst of all, she has my brother convinced that she is not. He likes her a lot, they are very into each other, and it worries me. I need to have a talk with him but do not know how to approach the topic or what I should say. Any advice?
Yeah, she sounds like she's using him. To be honest, I doubt she even likes him at all, just probably wanted a free place. No doubt she's a gold digger. If that's the case, she won't hold on to him for long and will date other guys behind his back. I think you should keep your eye on her and see if she does anything suspicious. I'm not saying stalk her, I mean to look out for any signs that means she's cheating. Though you would have to have proof. And try to introduce your brother to some different girls and pretend that your only intention is friendship. If he gets to know a different girl, this will soften the blow and could have him end up with someone who cares about him for who he is and no what he has. That's probably your best bet. Good luck, and I hope he gets someone who truly loves him!
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I've been a straight A student all my life but have gotten Bs on my social studies report card 3 times. People all talk about my grades and rub it in my face that i got a single B. People have said that I'm a dumb wast of air. Although I'm smart and get good grades most of the time, I'm made fun of for 89s in social studies. I pay attention in class and study but I cant get an A. Help?
To me it sounds like they are jealous and feel rubbing a B in your face will make them feel better about themselves. B's are still really good grades no matter what the others say. Last year during the school year my teacher was talking about people who do that. He told the class that those people who were made fun of for their knowledge turn out to be the most successful people in the school. As long as your trying thats all that matters. If you want to get an A, try a study group. They always seem to help. Naturally don get the ones who rubs B's in your face. Get some friends together or some who are just willing to join. Best of luck to you!
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ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice.
I am so sorry for what your going through. I myself, also cut, and it's not easy to get past. My advice for that, I'd try to put a goal for how long you will make sure you go without cutting. I took some test online, and believe I have clinical depression. The best thing to do, is talk to someone you can trust. Even if it's online. My first suicidal thought was around your age, and I kept it secret, and at age 12, I attempted it. I didn't trust to tell anyone, and you should tell at least one person, so they can help you. I don't want you making attempts like I did. I am sorry about the breakup, but there will be someone out there for you. Any time I have doubts I read some pages of LGMH--love gives me hope. People write pages of things that happen to them and one said "any time you feel you will never find true love, just think-- There is someone out there trying to find you, as much as your trying to find him/her." As for your friends fighting, it depends on how severe the fight is, as to how easy it will be to get them together again. The best thing to do, Is get the whole story from each of them, one at a time and see their point of view. Then maybe move on to the next one and talk to him or her and explain the situation. It may not be easy, but over time, they may cool down and be ready to hear sides of the story. And try not to let the poor grades bother you too much. I make poor grades myself, and I know it'll be hard to just ignore the comments people make. Sometimes those with depression make poor grades because they can't focus or concentrate and it makes listening in class and studying so much harder than those without it. A few times it may be the other way around, like some try to focus on school so they can forget their other worries, like one friend of mine. With feeling suicidal, please call 1-800-273-TALK. It's a suicidal helpline. If you don't get help, believe me, it will become worse than just thoughts. I often go on YouTube and watch videos made by Kati Morton, and she makes videos of how to deal with depression. She is a therapist, and her videos seem to help me. And whatever you do, stay away from drugs and alcohol. I haven't done it, but there was a time I was desperately wanting to try it. You may get to that stage if you haven't already, but those are only depressants. I'm sorry I couldn't help more, since I've also been trying to figure out what to do with my depression, but if you want more help, or even just need someone to talk to, you can talk with me here, or have a private conversation on google+. I go by the name Jasmine Jones online, and I would be happy to talk with you anytime you need someone and do my best to help you in any way I can. God bless. Stay strong💛
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Gender- Male
Age-14
I am a very intelligent and shy person. There was a beautiful girl at my school by the name of Kamryn. I had liked her for a very, very long time, even though we didn't know each other very well. After speaking to one of my best friends (who is also one of Kamryn's best friends), I discovered that she liked me as well. On February 12th I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. I had gotten her a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a rose (as cliche as it may seem, it was almost Valentine's Day). She said yes, and it was then that I had my first girlfriend. I tried to do everything right; I sent her goodnight and good morning texts every night and morning, I compliment her everyday (I tried not to compliment her to much, as not to dilute the meaning, but simply couldn't help stating my mind). We still didn't talk too often during school (as we are both very shy and soft-spoken people). We did, however, text each other all the time. I attempted to make conversation with her whenever I could, but she never reciprocated. I am an INTJ, and contemplate every finite detail very thoroughly. I took any blame or negative aspect out on myself. Out of the blue, after only twenty days of dating, she told me that there are a lot of things going on in her life, and that she thinks we should break up. I understand her point of view, but as a person of pure logic and reason, I am having a constant internal battle of reasoning. I am seeing two equal and true perspectives. I keep analyzing all of the possibilities; perhaps she only said yes to spare my feelings. I have been deeply depressed. I haven't slept more than three hours a night, and haven't eaten anything since the breakup, nor have I spoken to anyone for any reason. There is no advice that can help me, but I never speak of my feelings to anyone, so I figured, "why not?" I expect to see all of the things that are all too common and all the less helpful; "It will pass," "You're young, you'll go through a lot of girlfriends," "You can't let it get to you," and the classic, "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
The old "there are many fish in the sea" and the others don't help at all. I'm not here to tell you you'll find someone just like her, but you will find the one right for you. I don't think she just said yes to spare your feelings. I know the easiest thing to do is think she never liked you to begin with, but there really may be things going on where she can't have a boyfriend. You have to consider all the possibilities. She could have family trouble (which me and my dad experience every day) or maybe she's a little afraid right now. If you really love her, give her some time, and maybe ask her out again. Just because she broke up with you doesn't mean all hope is lost, so don't think that it is. Keep your head up and be determined to win her back instead of closing yourself up from everybody. Your really hurting yourself doing this. Try to eat a little. Even if it's just a meal a day or having a little snack. You don't want to win her over by worrying her your gonna kill yourself. Please speak with someone. Get your closest friend and open up. You have no clue how much better it is to speak your mind then let it all bottle up. It may help you
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Hi! I'm having a love crisis here that I need a little advice on. There's a guy that I like and I'm pretty sure that he likes me. He's pretty cute, hilarious, an amazing artist, and a decent writer. The problem is, he's not smart. He gets straight C's at best and he's just over all not super intellectual. I wouldn't mind him not being naturally academic if he would just TRY. I've worked with him in groups and partners and he doesn't try to hide the fact that he doesn't care about school at all. I've been an above average hard working honors student my whole life so you can see why his lack of effort turns me off. Am I being shallow? I really like him, but I'm not going to even think about asking him out if he doesn't put in a little effort.
Being above average, I can understand why you cannot stand him putting in no effort. Though on the other hand, he may not have an easy time concentrating. It could actually be bothering him because he wants to be better but just can't break old habits. My grades aren't so hot, and that's how I can kinda understand. Sometimes the thought of school can make one nervous and not being able to concentrate, so he may just want to go out and have fun. That's the way most teens are. They don't want to just get bad grades, but sometimes it's hard to just study. If you like him, I say give him a chance, and maybe help him study without him knowing it. Turn it into something fun. Best of luck!
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How bad is it to cheat on a test?
Yes. Cheating on a test doesn't only hurt the teachers, but it will also hurt you. More than anyone. You may think "it's just a small test. I won't even need the matrial." You may think that now, but if you start cheating then you may think "if I can do it once I can do it again." You may then even get comfortable with the idea of cheating. You don't need to rely on cheating to get a good grade. Let's say your in high school now and cheat. Then you may want to do it more. Then when you head to college, you will do the same. It may help you pass the class, but cheating will always catch up with you. It always starts out small, but WILL turn to something big, and could really hurt you in the future. If you are asking because of a friend, don't allow that friend to cheat. He probably is doing it because he didn't have the chance to study. Help him with the material so that he won't need to cheat. If you are asking for yourself, take my advice. Just ask for help to pass. Without cheating
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what does 'jet leg' or 'jet lag' mean?
Let's say you live in New York and your flying to California. It will feel as if it's three hours later. Basically, it's a type of sleeping disorder and can last for several day depending how much of a change there was in the time zone. Jet lag most commonly happens on planes. I've heard it can happen with train, but is very rare. Most commonly for fast flying aircrafts. Jet lag will last till your body gets used to the new time zone. For a while your body is confused Becuse let's say where you live you go to bed at 10:00 and where you are it's after 2:00. Your body will be kinda confused. When you have jet lag, you may experience dizziness, anxiety, constipation, and maybe even memory loss.
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i'm 12 and my bf is 13. my bf is more experienced than i am and he wants me to do stuff that i dont think i should cuz of my age and i'm not really ready for. i need help to know how to tell him that i'm not ready for that stuff. pleez and thank u if u can help
Be honest with him. If he wants to do stuff your not comfortable with, remember--you don't have to do it. I know it's hard to say no because your afraid of what he will think, but if he gets mad about you not wanting to go all the way, then he isn't worth your time. He would only end up hurting you. If he's truly an understanding guy, then he will accept that your not ready yet and feel too young and will give you time and let you wait till your ready. Let him know, that when people sex, girls are the ones who will get found out. Guys may never get caught, but girls lose something when going all the way, and uncles there is a condom, they can very we'll end up pregnant. Tell him the truth, and hopefully he will understand
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I'm a 27 year old gay male. He's 34, also gay male. We live apart in the same city. We mostly see one another on weekends, even though he works just two blocks from my apartment. Truly, I love him and don't want to hurt him. I know this is bad for me, and for him, even if he never finds out. I don't want to continue these patterns of behavior, but can't manage quitting them, and don't have people in my life I trust to confide in. I have been trying to stop cheating for over a year now, but I end up giving in about every 2-3 months by having a one night stand on a gay dating app or website. I feel awful afterward, delete any profile or email or pictures I used, and vow that this time was the last time and that I won't ever do it again. But eventually I do, and the cycle repeats. I don't trust myself anymore after seeing failure after failure. This is so unfair to him and so wrong. I fear if I told him the truth that I would lose him, and that's the last thing I want, but it's not right to keep on like this, even though I really do want to stop. If I break up with him (for his own sake), I would still have that problem with someone else down the road, so breaking up won't really fix anything in me, and I would lose him.
I've questioned myself a lot about why I cheat. Here are a few factors that I feel contribute to my tendency toward infidelity. I have a higher sex drive in general, than he does, and feel bad initiating sex when he isn't interested. His lower drive is at least partly due to his psych medications, so there is little we can do to fix that. We have limited time together, so it makes it that much more frustrating when sex doesn't happen during our weekends at his place. Sex is great when we have it, and I like being intimate with him as a person, not just the physical pleasure aspect, but certainly that too. He also does not "bottom" for me, mostly for health reasons complicated by his medications. I like both sexual roles equally, so it can be frustrating not being able to fully express myself in those ways in the bedroom. I accepted this after a lot of talking with him about it and trying things to help him feel more comfortable, but then gave up many months later and tried to move on and be happy as exclusively the "bottom" in bed. Don't get me wrong, I like that, but I like to "top" just as much, and it feels like something is missing never getting to have sex that way. We have a good relationship outside of the bedroom and love each other very much, but my sexual interests and urges keep drawing me away to other outlets to satisfy them. I feel like I should be able to control myself, but I apparently I can't because I've been trying for so long to stay away from casual sex outside the relationship, but keep failing. Not being together all the time also makes it hard to be as spontaneous or frequent about sex. I hesitate about moving in with him because I fear my infidelity could continue - despite my best best intentions - but living with him would give me much less opportunity to seek out sex outside the relationship, and more opportunity to enjoy sex inside the relationship. What should I do?
Maybe your not meant to be in a steady relationship right at the moment. You can only see him on weekends, so you have a strong desire to be with someone and its causing you to grow weak and download those dating apps. I don't think you would have any trouble whatsoever staying in a steady relationship if you could see each other regularly, but you can't and you want someone to fill the other days of the week. This may seem a little drastic, but maybe you should get couciling and see if the councilar can help you stay with him. I think your desires are getting the best of you, so it causes you to hook up with someone else.
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I want to know how to tell my parents that i am bi. All my Friends know But no one in my family does so how do i break the news to them?
Breaking the news to your parents that your bi can be hard. To start with, you need to put them in a good mood so they won't be so hard as to yell at your or kick you out or anything like that. Now hopefully they wouldn't kick you out anyway--but you need to do something that they will enjoy. Maybe that them out to eat or do a barbecue. To start with they may think something is up, so keep this going for about three or four days, and when they are in their best mood, let them know ahead of time that you don't mean to make them mad, and it's something you just havnt been able to control, then break it to them that your bi. It's best to start out saying you think your bi, that way their first reaction won't be "how could he choose to do this!!?" Instead it may be "I can't believe he's bi." Or something to that nature. Thy won't automatically jump on your case. On the bright side, your not actually gay, so your parents may think that you will still end up with a girl, and it will be easier for them.
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what is an orgee?
Um...it's kinda hard to explain. Their some kind of mythical creature that came from Japan kinda like how manga did. Not sure if Americans use ogres or not though. All I know is they have red eyes, and kinda weird looking hair. I think they may have some kind of power but I'm not so sure. Also, they eat humans. Kinda like a part human monster I guess.
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Hi!
So, I can't stop beating myself up. I'm funny, which only gives me more power to make cracks about myself. Other people think they're funny which is what I sort of want, but making people laugh isn't really worth hurting yourself over. Yesterday I had a depressive episode where I felt like everyone was against me because at chorus, I have to sing the tenor part and the bass people are behind me and the teacher was like,"It's not that hard." Like sorry, but I can't read music and it's not easy to sing a high part when the bass people are behind you. I don't want to, but I have to stick with chorus because that's really the only thing I do besides theater. Theater is another thing I beat myself up about. My man crush (yes, my man crush) got a rather large role in the musical but I only got ensemble and one other small role (one line. maybe.) How do I be happy with myself? I really just want to be happy but I always compare myself to others. Also God says to compare ourselves to him rather than others, but how is that supposed to make me feel better? That makes me feel worse because he's God and I'm a human.
I think God saying for us to compare ourselves to him is his way do saying that he is almighty, and we need him in our lives and to live. God can do anything, and everything, and we humans can only do some things. I think you beating yourself up all the time is making people think they can do the same, Becuse it may seem like nothing will hurt you. I love singing and theater too, so I know how hard it can be. For me, theater isn't quite so hard, but there is much to know about singing ans it isn't always easy. The teacher shouldn't have been putting you on the spot especially with you not knowing how to read music. If you need to, you can ask someone who does know that part of the chorus and see about helping each other out. You may be able to help someone, and that someone could help you.
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My dad died last week and I do not get along with my family, and this is something I've accepted for years now. From the outside, we looked like the perfect family, and everyone thinks I'm the sweetest, nicest, most perfect daughter. But in reality, I am the emotionally out of control black sheep in my family. I've never felt truly understood by them. At times in which I've felt suicidal throughout my life, they weren't there for me emotionally.Everyone keeps telling me how highly my dad spoke of me and how much he loved me, but all I can remember are our fights and horrible, hateful words toward each other, that most people who "know us so well" could never imagine. The two of us have had a very distant relationship since I'm 11 or 12. Now I'm 22. I have wonderful friends, thank god, who make me feel amazing but they live very far away. I feel totally and completely alone right now. Anyone who says things like, "blood is thicker than water.." and "family is everything" clearly can't know where I'm coming from, because honestly the most loving supportive people in my life are friends and teachers. Thankfully, I will be away from home next year. What can I do cope with this until then?
I can understand where you are coming from. My family isn't someone I've ever been able to talk to either. My friends live half an hour away from me and I'm homeschool, so am never around anyone even close to my age. I don't know if you are already doing this, but it may help getting a part time job or something. It keeps your mind off things, and sometimes helps work off any sadness or stress, and maybe when that someone shows you the ropes, you can speak with that person and maybe have someone else you can talk to about your troubles. You could try to get to know the other employees, and it helps to be with people who may become your friends instead of people who are always pretending to be the perfect family. I hope this helps!
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Okay, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, he's great. He supports me and my 2 children from my marriage. I'm 25 & he's 4 yrs older then me. He's had over double the sexual partners ice had, which in my opinion he's pretty experienced and I'm not so much. I have always been pretty adventurous sexually. We have a great sex life. He's only enjoyed oral from 1 other girlfriend and I've only enjoyed anal with him,as examples. Also we both watch porn from time to time when the other is at work or out... well I just found out its actually very common for him. Habitual even, which I don't mind, he watches safe and age appropriate porn., but I discovered he does it when I'm home and go to sleep before him. The problem is I've told him I want to have sex with him pretty much always. Tired, mad, annoyed , sick , whatever. So why pleasure yourself to porn when he has me? I mean, I do just as dirty nasty things as those girls do. Im also in shape and curvy in tge hips which he loces, i mean, im hot. So,I can't make sense of it and he says its a problem he's had since 2 years before we met.
Is it possible to overcome this? I don't want him yo stop completely ( unless he has to) but I'm do in love with him and I prefer sex than masturbation. If I'm here he shouldn't need to do that. Am I right to feel this way? Insecure? Please help. - Kelsey Jaye
Yes, he does have you, but sometimes when guys get hooked it's hard to get off of. Very very addictive. Who knows? Maybe he thought you were asleep when you headed to bed. If you want him to go for you, just ask if he wants to join you. Like I said, I don't think he means any harm by it. It is something very addictive. Before you go to bed, put something on that will grab his attention. Maybe some lingerie.
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Hi! I'm a 15 year old biological girl and I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. I think that I might be transgender. Some days I feel so feminine and I go to school it frilly shirts and hair ribbons but some days I take clothes from my brothers closet. I love my long hair, but somedays it disgusts me and I tuck it into a cap. My identity changes and I don't know what I want. I know what I want. I know that there's genderfluid people and people without genders but I want to pick one. I feel like if I had to pick girl or boy I'd be cutting a part of myself off... What do I do?
There's nothing wrong with wanting to do both at different times. I'm kinda the same way. Sometimes I want to wear a cute top and wear my hair curly, and other days I just want to throw on baggy jeans and sneakers. I dress differently on my mood. Some days I'll look girly and sweet and some days I want the goth look. If you don't want to choose what to do as your look, you don't have to. I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I like too. I'm sure the answer will come, but as for now, just keep doing what your doing and you'll find out which you is most comfortable. Maybe you want the tomboy look who sometimes wears a little pink, or maybe you want the girly look who will sometimes wear sneakers and baseball caps. Until you find out what you want, just keep doing whatever you feel like doing. 👌
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Hello, I am twenty years old and female.
I am currently on my second to last day of my period.
Yesterday and today, today is worse, I've been having this very annoying pressure to urinate all the time but when I to the bathroom, I don't actually urinate or it's a tiny amount. However, when I actually do go, it's an even worse pressure - but I can't really describe it as a burning sensation, it's honestly still just pressure there. I have yet to feel a burning sensation during urination.
My first instinct was to think it's a UTI, very common in women but then I read that any irritation to the vagina during your period could cause this, sorry too personal, but on Saturday night, my boyfriend and I hooked up, I obviously couldn't do anything so it was just dry humping mostly and I figured that may have been the "irritation" that could cause this too.
I've been reading about UTI's and it's always described as pressure, burning when urinating, fevers maybe (depending on how bad the UTI is), cloudy urination... but I only have the pressure.
I know I should go to the doctor but if it's anything related to my period, and my period is over tomorrow, I'm kind of just dealing with it til then to see if I still have this going on.
Any input is appreciated, if you get pressure to have to pee all the time during your period or if you've had a UTI before, anything I can do, if it's normal... anything, really.
Thanks!
When I'm on my period it does often make me feel as if I have to go to the bathroom with nothing there. I don't know how much this will help you, but if you would like to pee so maybe you won't keep having the urge to go, so can eat yogurt and plenty of fiber, and milk may be able to help too. If your stomach has been feeling ill along with it, then skip out on the dairy products 'cause they will turn sour in your stomach and make you feel ill. Like I said, this may not have been the exact answer you were looking for, but this may cause you to where you will actually pee and it may ease the pain. If your still having all the pressure and side affects you were talking about after the period, I would suggest the doctor.
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I am 24/f. I recently moved out of my house and moved to graduate housing at my university. before i begin, i just want to give a brief description of my family. they are extremely controlling. my mother is absolutely nuts. she is a narcissist and i can tell you that she has ruined my life. both my parents are the most irresponsible people i have ever met in my life and how someone gave them a child is beyond me. i was adopted at birth. all of the paperwork and everything was set up before i was even born. she confessed to me that the reason the adoption finally went through is because she called continuously and harassed them until they gave her the child. i would like to meet the social worker who ruined my life. at this point in my life, i love them because hey are my parents. but, i don't LIKE them as people. i know it's hard for some people to understand. some of you have already read some of the things that i've written, but i will write it again for those who didn't. i need to add a couple more things that happened this weekend.
basically, my mom plays a great actress when she pretends that she wants what is best for me. she doesn't. she wants whatever makes her look good or has money. i am a person of great faith (i am just angry right now). i always thought that the reason that she didn't like my current boyfriend is because we don't share that same faith (we were already together before my conversion) and because she thinks that he didn't have money. She said that he "lacks drive" and just isn't her type. I get that she doesn't like him, but she threatened me several times. She said that if I stayed with him, I could just think of her as dead. You think that might solve the problem if she was just out of the picture, but that isn't true. her threat is just that... a threat... what it really means is that she will make my life miserable. she doesn't mean that she will stay out of my life... but rather, that she will stalk, harass, show up at my door. she even threatened that she was going to beat him up. everyone says to call the police. but, seriously, the police isn't going to do anything about a verbal threat. he has also threatened her because he got angry. so, both of them would be in trouble. i basically told my mom that we broke up, which isn't true. but, it got her off my case. she has been harassing me and harassing me about finding a new boyfriend. she says that she wants to live to see her grandchildren. so, i basically told her that there was a guy from class that i thought was cute, just to get her off my back. at first, she saw a picture of him and she said he was ugly and "forbid" me from seeing him. Then, a few weeks later, she was pretty much telling me that i better knock on his door and throw myself at him. I told her my "concerns" about him were that we didn't share the same strong beliefs and that he was poor ( i just wanted to see what she would say, since that was her gripe about my bf). She said it didn't matter because he was "hot."
The other day, I came back from church and told her I had seen a friend. She asked me if he was cute (the only thing she thinks about is hooking me up with a guy). I told her who it was. I'm here thinking that she would think that this was the perfect guy. The reason I am doing this, by the way is because I'm trying to test what it is she would want from me. what is her ideal vision for my life that I could have for her to leave me alone. this guy is a little bit older, makes a lot of money, we met at church. i was like... she's has to give a positive review. She threw everything on the floor and almost started punching me. she said she forbids me to ever see him and that he's not allowed in the house ever. so, i got in my car, and drove an hour back to my dorm because i said that this is not home if i can't even bring a friend here. additionally, i would like to add that this person has been a great friend. like, he has gone above and beyond what it means to be a friend and if i were a mother and witnessed that, i would be writing thank you notes instead of forbidding the person in the house. i told her that i wasn't angry about her not liking him. i really could not care less. what I'm angry about is the way that she treated me with a lack of respect. till today, she continues to call me to tell me that i am wrong and try to get me to see things from her point of view.
there is nothing to see. she doesn't want what is best for me. her judgement is clouded. however, she continues to control me because i'm living on campus, not in my own apartment. realistically, no matter how much is say i won't speak to her again, she weaves her way into my life. my entire family takes her side because she is "unwell" and i should "know better." they will come to my door and call the police if i chose not to answer. my mom will put herself in an institution just to make it more dramatic. and everyone will say i'm evil. they already do. apparently, i'm the cause of everyone's misfortune.
when my mom has been out of money... since she decided not to work for 20 years. the solution was to steal my identity. even before i turned 18, i had a ton of debt because she used it up. that debt was deleted, but no legal action was taken and no apology was issued. before i came to the faith, my family was involved in the occult. when my 17 year old boyfriend broke up with me, my mom's idea of making me feel so much better was taking me to a warlock who sexually abused me. when i have brought it up to her, she said that she was just trying to make me feel better. i told her that a mother is suppose to build up a child's self esteem, not make them want back a guy that did so much harm to them. she told my cousin about the incident and then they both laughed about it.... i don't think it's funny. and i hate when people say "it could be worse." Everything could be worse. try telling that to a child who was sitting there afraid, being sexually abused and people laughing about. i finally told my dad about it and he said he was angry at both of us. I was just a child and I made that very clear to him. he said my mom has always been very smart and he doesn't know what happened. by the way, my parents are divorced.
most of all, i feel like my dad is a coward who left me with this lady so that he could get away from her. then, everyone just tells me that she is my mom and wants what is best for me because she loves me. she does not love me. she is obsessed with me and thinks that i'm her little barbie doll. if she really did care about me, she would be trying to direct me towards a guy like the third one I mentioned. She would treat me with respect and not throw things at me and people have to stop her from punching me in the face. if she cared about me, she wouldn't steal my identity to buy clothes and then think it's justified because some of the clothes were for me. she wouldn't be laughing about happened to me. i was a victim. i'm so angry at both of them. they could take them to jail, fine them, put a restraining order on them... but honestly, they don't see what they have done wrong. that is what gets me angry. i feel like i am owed an apology. if i can't get that, i feel like i need validation from a jury... someone. i feel so alone. please help.
now, about her being irresponsible
I am so sorry for what has happened to you. You mentioned that you were at least 18, so legally, your mom can't control you anymore, so make it clear to her what the law says. And try to get a job so when you get off campus you will have money to get your own place. If she stole your identy, you actually can go to the police because that is identy theft, which will most likely send her to jail. What she's doing is illegal, and she just let you be abused and laughed about it. Not quite sure what the punishment for that will be, but taking you to someone who abused you sexually, and then laughing about it and not doing anything to stop it, is not what a mother should do, and even though she's not the one who raped (or attempted rape) she can probably get in big trouble with the law for taking you there and not taking any action. i know you may not want to do this, because you would be putting your mother in jail, and on top of that, people will see you as a bad person, but it is illegal, and you really should take action. If you do this and need a place to stay, you can see about staying with a friend who understands and is trustworthy. I wish you the best of luck. God bless you👏
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