Gender:
FemaleMember Since:
May 28, 2007Answers:
643Last Update:
November 13, 2009Visitors:
36881Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
Razhie
Alin75
Brandi_S
Peeps
Elcee
adverb
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Love Life
Friendship
View All
about

advice
15/F
I found out today that guys dont like talkative girls. The radio had a disucussion on it, and my class had a discussion on it too. Guys find that "unattrcative" in some cases. I talk alot, im known for that. I dont want to change the person i am to impress guys, but im hearing that guys really dont like that. I have heared it before and im still hearing it. I dont know what to do, i dont like being quiet, i have the larger then life personality. What should I do? Thanks :)
I don't think it's just being "talkative" that guys don't like... I think it depends on what the girl is talking about, and how she's saying it.
For instance, some girls like to talk constantly with their boyfriends about their relationship... their feelings, what the guy's doing wrong, whether he still likes her or not, etc. Any little problem requires a two hour, in-depth discussion about the relationship. And that's a major whip for most guys.
And then there's the "know-it-all" types; they have to always be right, and they don't stop talking until they've made their point. Or they take over conversations and don't let anyone else get a word in. Or they talk non-stop about themselves in an effort to impress people. That can be annoying to anyone, guys AND girls.
On the other hand, most guys love to have meaningful discussions or friendly debates with girls. And if a girl can talk for hours with a guy about something that interests him, he'll definitely find that attractive.
So I wouldn't worry about it. Like you said, it's only unattractive in "some" cases (and only to "some" guys). In most cases, being talkative gives guys the impression that you're a friendly, approachable, likeable person.
Ok so heres the deal. I have a really good and easy job. Im basically a concierge at a resort. I get paid good money for doing almost nothing. There is only me and one other girl that have this job. The problem is that my boss is totally unfair and my coworker gets everything her way. For example, the past 2 weeks she has gotten a extra day off and i got none. I keep my mouth shut all the time but i just got hit with the last straw. We are changing our schedules for the summer time and it was supposed to go into effect on a saturday which would mean my coworker would be workin on friday. shes arguing and doesnt want to work friday. neither do i. but my boss gave her her way and shes now off friday and i have to work for her when its supposed to be my day off. i tried sayin its not fair but everyone expects me to be so easy going that it doesnt matter what i say. i still have to work. and it makes it more difficult because my boss is my girlfriends dad and i live with them. (by the way i am female too). im soo fed up at this point that if it were any other job i would quit but its too good of a job. how can i get them to take me seriously??? i really need some advice.
I've been in a similar situation. My boss always gave me the lousy hours and the jobs no one else wanted, even though I was better qualified than the other employess. But in my case, my boss was my mom. And what it boiled down to was: she was so worried that the other employees would accuse her of showing favoritism to her daughter, that she went to the opposite extreme and treated me worse than anyone else. It really stunk!
That may be what's happening with your boss. You have more than just a regular employee/employer relationship with him. Living at his house makes it almost like a family relationship. And he may worry that if he gives you the hours the other girl wants, she'll say he's being "unfair" because of your relationship with him and his daughter.
I know that doesn't change anything, but maybe it will make you feel a *little* better knowing that he's not just out to get you. But anyway... since you really like the job and it's a great situation for you, I think it's probably best not to say anything. However, if there are certain times that you REALLY want off, don't be afraid to ask for it. Just be sure to let your boss, and the other girl, know well in advance that you'll be asking for that time off. If everyone knows ahead of time, it won't appear like you're getting preferential treatment, and he'll probably be more likely to let you have it.
Good luck! =]
What is the normal "Chest" size for a 14 year old girl?
I wear a C cup, but there are many people with way bigger cha-chas, and what are some ways to make myne look bigger???
Thanks, and please no "they are fine the way they are," and that kind of stuff. I'm just wondering.
Yes, there are some people with bigger "cha-chas" (haha!). But there are a lot more people with smaller ones! And some people your age (and older) have nothing at all, and would give anything to fit into a B cup, let alone a C. So you should consider yourself lucky. A lot of people consider a C cup the "perfect" size... not too big (which does have drawbacks, trust me), and definitely not too small.
But that's not what you asked, so... if you really want to make your chest look bigger, buy some padded or push-ups bras. Experiment with different style tops and choose the ones that make your chest look bigger. And be sure to stand and walk with good posture: back straight, tummy in, chest lifted (but not stuck out with your back arched). Good posture will show off what you have to its best advantage. Like my grandmother always said: if you've got it, flaunt it! And yeah, with a C cup, you've definitely got it! =]
okay so im like trying to diet, like im just a little on the pudgy side and i wanna look good for the summer. but like i know i want to but i just cant seem to get motivated enough. like ill be like tomorrow i start my diet and then i see something like a cookie and i eat it. how can i get motivated?
Try giving yourself a short term goal, with a target date. For example, "For the entire month of May, I'm going to stick to my diet." And then think of it this way: In 31 days, May will be over, whether you've stuck to your diet or not. On June 1st, you could either be the same as you are right now, and disappointed with yourself... or you could be a few pounds lighter and very proud of yourself. Either way, May is gonna go by in the same amount of time, and then it will be over. So why not gut it out for that short period of time and begin June as a thinner, happier person?
Hope this helps a bit, and good luck! =]
hi. well my prom is on thursday(i go to a really small christian school and its cheaper to have prom on thursday) so anyway lately i have had pimples on my neck and i have never had it before-i think its because my hair is longish now and actually reaches past my shoulders--so anyway i was wondering what to do that could clear that up fast and make it look good. i have been using this new cleanser that does wonders and is clearing it up well but my hair is going to be up for prom and i will be so embarrassed if anyone sees. also my forehead has some really tiny small pimples near my hairline and those bother me too so anything to do to get rid of those small problem areas would be great!! thanks :)
Well, Benefit Cosmetics has a product called Boo Boo Zap, which clears up pimples pretty quick. I used a tester at the store and I swear my zit just disappeared before my eyes! I can't promise it will work for you, but hey, it's worth a try! I know they sell Benefit stuff at Sephora and Macys, but if you don't have those stores near you, just go to benefitcosmetics.com and they have a "find a store near you" thingy on the bottom of the main page.
Good luck and have a great time at prom!
Ergh. Ive had so many questions about diets and what not, and nothings worked. It's horrible I am over weight-- BY A LOT. I'm 14, and weigh 220 pounds. My knees hurt, my back hurts, I get windewd very easily- and im tired of not being able to get these cute cloths because there not my size. I just want to be healthy [[and if I look awesome in the process thats A-OK with me =]] Im just aiming to be healthy because I have a condition of Acantheosis Nigricans and one of it's symptoms is being Isulin Resistant so if I ever become a diabetic of I think type one... I donno what to do really. I just wanna stop hurting, and feel beter about myself.
Summers finally coming, and I could go swimming in the privacy of my own pool which I hear is really good for you because it works all your muscles. Also my friend Steven who does swimming in like tournamints was gunna show me some stretches and stuff to help me. I do have support which I love- and i could walk around my neighboorhood I wont get like shot or something.
Its just, I eat when im bored even when Im not hungry. So I was thinking about drinking a glass of water before meals until I start eating less because I could probably at the moment i could like eat a whole large pizza and halfn hour later go up for something else -- yeh its that bad. Do you have any tips I could do? Like drinking a lot of water, and walking a mile a day- and 50 sit ups... Anything! Im extremely desprtie considering im like 100 pounds overweight. Its horrible I let it get this far..
So please anything is helpful even if you just wanna say I CAN DO IT lol. Im happy wiht that too. =]
Thank you.
Kate
You CAN do it! I know you can, because you really want to. And all of the ideas you've listed are excellent and will really help! But I think you'll have even more success if you have a specific plan to follow; something that you really have confidence in; a plan that you KNOW is going to get you results.
So that's why my advice is: find a doctor who specializes in weight loss, or join an organization such as Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. They are professionals at this and have developed good, safe, successful weight loss plans that really work. They also know, from experience, lots of great ways to keep people motivated and on the right track (which, after all, is half the battle). Actually, just the act of joining a program like that can give you a big motivation boost right off the bat. Because you KNOW they have a proven track record and that if you follow their plan, it WILL work. And having confidence in what you're doing is the best motivation to keep doing it.
Good luck!!!
okayy so im 15 and a female.. well i know for a fact, 100 percent that i want to wait until marriage before i have sex and i know that in the future guys will respect you more if yoou werent out and about being a little whore..but right now i feel like i cant get a boyfriend.. at all bc im just not like that idk im not ugly and im not shy but it feels likee every guyy just wants to have sex like all the time or something. idk what to do..is this just how they r at this age??
Well, it's true that every guy *wants* to have sex. And if it's offered to them, many will go ahead and take it. But that doesn't mean that every guy wants *only* sex. Sure, there are some who do, but there are lots of guys who want something else as well: a relationship with a girl they love and admire and respect. And if being with that girl means foregoing sex until she's ready, there are many who are willing to do that.
So don't give up hope. There are actually many guys who, like you, have already made a decision to wait until marriage. One of them may be your future husband. Or, you may meet a guy who hasn't made a conscious decision to wait, but who will be so totally in love with you that he'll decide you're worth waiting for. Either way, I can promise you, he IS out there. =]
How much is it to get Invisalign? (the clear braces)
It probably depends on how bad your teeth are and how long you'd need to wear them, but I think in general they're about twice as expensive as regular braces. My teeth are pretty straight (just a couple out of alignment) and my ortho told me I'd need to wear Invisalign about a year to 18 months... and the cost was about $4000. That's the same price my friend is paying for regular braces that she'll be wearing for 3 years. But to find out for sure, make an appointment with an orthodontist. Most will give you a free consultation and give you prices for the various types of braces.
I dont know whats wrong with me but i'm like afraid of people touching me. I'm not like germophobic or anything. Seriously though like even just like if someone is sitting too close or something. Even with my best friend like we'll be sitting next to each other watching a movie and she'll be too close ( which is'nt even that close) and i move a little farther from her. I dont get any of this it's weird. I know alot of you are probably going to say like well if you have a problem with it then stop having a problem with it but i dont think it's that simple. Does anyone know whats wrong with me? Has anyone felt like this before? Help please!
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I'm kinda like that myself. I mean, with my boyfriend it's fine, but anyone else, I feel like, "You're in my space." Some people are just like that, just like some people are all huggy and clingy. We're all made differently, and that's just how we are! =]
If someone (female) bent over and I could see about an inch of their... crack I guess, does that mean they probably weren't wearing any underwear?
Thanks.
Not necessarily. It could mean they're wearing low-rise underwear that don't show when they're wearing low-rise pants. But if you really want to know, I guess you could ask! Haha!
hi well this is about me & my boyfriend.. we both have trust issues..but weve been dating 7 months so we trust each other with everything..but im very paranoid bout him going thru my phone..bc, well my parents split up & now my mom & i are dirt poor, & i cant afford my phone. so, im REALLLY not proud of this, but i send this guy..pictures..& he pays my bills. so he text me last night saying "hey sunshine" & my bf saw it..& he kept asking who that text was from & i was drunk so i said idk then i deleted it. & then he saw i deleted it..& now he says he doesnt trust me anymore bc of me not telling him (he doesnt know about the pics..) & i feel so hurt bc he doesnt trust me anymore (but i would feel the same if the roles were reversed) but i dont have any money and i dont consider it cheating bc idk this person, theyre on another coast, & i have NO feelings for him. but it kills me inside whenever i do it & i want to regain my bfs trust but i just dont know what to do..about any of it..please help??
It looks like you have three separate problems here. So let's talk about each one:
1) Sending the pictures. Well, I probably don't have to tell you all the reasons you shouldn't do this. But I will anyway (haha). First of all, it IS a form of prostitution. You know it's wrong, and you feel crappy about yourself for doing it. But besides that, it could get you into trouble. What if this guy becomes obsessed with you, and decides that pictures aren't enough? He's paying for your cell phone; he might start to feel like you owe him more than just pictures. And if he doesn't already know where you live, he could easily find out. Or, what if he shares these pictures with his buddies, and they somehow get posted somewhere... and your boyfriend/parents/entire school sees them? Besides being totally humiliated (and losing everyone's trust, and getting a terrible reputation), you could get into big trouble with the law. There's been stuff all over the news lately about teens being arrested for distributing child pornography. And it's just going to get worse as law enforcement enlists the help of the phone companies to crack down on this.
You need to stop. Tell this guy that you appreciate his "generosity", but that you're sorry, you're going to have to end this arrangement.
2) Your cell phone. Yeah, you need one. But there's gotta be another way to pay for it. You could get a job; beg your dad, your grandparents, or another relative; ask your boyfriend for help; do odd jobs for your neighbors; talk to a school councelor and ask for suggestions. Talk to your phone company and find a cheaper plan. You might have to give up unlimited texting or something, but at least you'll have a phone for basic use and emergencies. There are people a lot worse off than you who find ways to pay for what they need. If they can do it, so can you.
3) Your boyfriend. Well, I normally recommend telling the truth about everything. But if there's a chance that the "hey sweetheart" thing will blow over (without you having to tell any additional lies), it might be worth just waiting it out. However, if he continues to be convinced that something's going on, you should probably just come clean to him. Break down and cry (you probably wont have to try real hard) and explain the situation. Tell him the only reason you did it is because you really need your phone, to talk to HIM. Tell him how rotten you've felt. And let him know that you've stopped doing it, and won't ever do it again because it made you feel so bad. Yeah, he'll probably be pretty pissed, but hopefully he'll take pity on you and try to understand. Just expect that it could take some time for him to deal with it.
I hope it works out for you. But please, stop sending the pictures.
Edit: Congrats on the job! Good luck! =]
I really really want a pet duck. I looked it up and found a few good things but i still have a few questions.
1-i have a pool, but its filled with chlorine, is that okay?
2-can i just get 1 duckling, not many?
3-could i use a kiddie pool (plastic) fill it with sawdust, with a heat lamp, and use that for the first month?
4-where would i get a duck in the ny, li area?
thanks so much!!!
I love ducks, too! They're sooo cute! But they require a LOT of care to keep them happy and safe. Unless you live on a farm, or have tons of time to spend with your duck every day, you should probably think very carefully before getting one.
Ducks are easy targets for predators; dogs, cats, raccoons, hawks, etc. Even if you have a fenced yard, a duck won't be safe there on its own. It will need to have a completely enclosed area, secure from predators, to stay in when you're not around. A small pen is okay if he's only in there at night; but if you're at school or work all day, he'll need a much larger area. It would be cruel to keep him caged up in a small space all day long. In the winter, he'll need to stay inside. Remember, wild ducks head south in the winter, and domestic ducks are even less equipped to survive the cold.
Even when you CAN be with your duck, it will require a lot of work. For one thing, ducks poop a LOT, and anywhere they feel like it. If your family spends a lot of time in the backyard, they probably won't appreciate sitting or stepping in duck poop... so you'll be constantly cleaning up after him. That goes for his pen, too... it will have to be cleaned out every day, or it will become a breeding ground for germs that will make him sick.
Another thing to consider: ducks can live up to 20 years. Even if you have the ideal situation for a duck right now, will you still be able to care for it 5 or 10 years from now? And if not, who will?
The truth is, most people who get a pet duck end up realizing that it wasn't such a great idea after all. And then they're stuck with trying to find a new home for it, which is very difficult. You can't release a domestic duck into the wild; they don't know how to find food for themselves, or how to migrate, or how to avoid predators. They almost always end up dying from cold, starvation, or being eaten or hit by a car.
Sorry to sound like a party pooper! But if you truly love ducks, I know you'll want to be sure you can really provide him with a good, safe and long lasting home before you decide to get one.
okay well i went out with this boy a few weeks ago. We broke up because he wanted to make out after one day and i said sure tommorrow when we hangout he said okay then he couldnt hang and we broke up the next day to make out with another girl. They madeout like 20 times and i didnt like him until today when i saw him. I have also seen him like a million times before and liked other boys. Now i like like him again and i want to makeout with him or go out with him. But i dont know if he likes me and i dont have the guts to ask him. so please give me tips.
and i dont care if i sound whorish.
and sorry its realy long.
I'm sorry, but... no, he doesn't like you. He might want to make out with you, but that's it. If he really liked you (the way you want him to like you), he'd like you whether you were making out or not.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you make out with him, he'll suddenly start liking you. It just doesn't work that way. If anything, it will make him like you even less, because he'll lose respect for you. That's because the message you'd be sending is, "I'm so desperate to go out with you that I'll do anything." Guys aren't attracted to desperate girls. They're attracted to confident girls who know what they're worth and won't settle for less.
Better to leave him thinking, "Dang, I lost my chance with her because I acted like an idiot." At least he'll have some respect for you, and you'll still have some for yourself as well.
Hey guys I need helppp!
I haven't changed my facebook profile picture in like four months, but I can't decidee!
Which do you like?
http://i26.tinypic.com/2mqrbfc.jpg
http://i29.tinypic.com/30thoat.jpg
http://i32.tinypic.com/289lxqp.jpg
Thanks for your help!
I like the last one. =]
Hey, I have big boobs, like 36 C to D. I need to know what kind of bathing suit would look best. Last year I had one from hollister, super cute, but my boobs looked soo bad. Help please!!
I have big boobs, too, so I know where you're coming from! Try looking for tops that have an underwire; that will give you better support and give your boobs a nicer shape. Also, avoid the kind of tops that go straight across your chest... you know, the kind that have the ties coming up from the very middle. Those tend to squish your boobs and make it look like you have a roll of sausage across your chest! Instead, go for the tops that look like two triangles; they keep everything nicely lifted up. Also avoid tops that are just sheer, thin material... they can make your boobs look floppy and jiggly. Tops that have a little bit of padding will keep your boobs in place better.
Hope this helps, and have a great summer! =]
i spend a lott of time in my bedroom on a given day. even on the weekends, i stay up on my laptop talking to my friends, reading, or listening to music.
my room isn't particularly large, so i try to keep things reallyy simple and keep my tabletops clean and uncluttered. i'm pretty organized.
i want to make my bedroom more fun, literally. it's not that i lack things to do; i just want to make it more welcoming and bright.
however, here's where i'm having some issues, i don't want to repaint it and / or buy any new furniture. i'm not a big fan of wall posters because they seem to clutter my room and make it seem even smaller. i tried making polka dots and that looked cute for a while but i got bored of it.
how can i add color to my room without buying anything new, like bedsheets & lamps?
i know one tip i learned was to add a lot of lighting to your room to make it more fun in the nighttime. i already have three minilamps in my room, and my room is very well lit. what else can i do?
Well, this is just one little idea, but I saw it in a display at a furniture store and I thought it was really cute. They took a bunch of blank CDs and taped them on the wall from floor to ceiling, in a long curvy "S" shape about 3 feet wide. It was right behind a little table where the "girl" had her CD player and music stuff, so it sorta had the feeling of "music" flowing up from the CD player. It was really cute and fun, and the CDs reflected the light, almost like a mirror would. It looked so cool!
i'm 15 girl that's a sophmore in highschoool!
i want to be popular
and i don't want the typical advice like put yourself out there..it does not work or help!
Well, it helps if you understand what true populartiy really means. Being popular means being liked and respected by everyone... not just a handful of people in the "cool group."
A lot of people don't understand that. They think that hanging around a certain group will make them popular. So they put all their energy into impressing and befriending that small handful of people. Sometimes they succeed, and they get accepted into that group. But that doesn't get them real, lasting popularity. Because the cool group is constantly changing. The people who seem to be "all that" right now will eventually be dethroned by someone else. And if those are your only friends, you'll be yesterday's news right along with them.
Think of it this way: let's say you want to run for class president, or homecoming queen, or captain of your sports team. You'll need a lot more votes than just the 10-15 people who are currently "cool." You'll need a majority of the people in your school voting for you. Which means you'll need to be truly "popular" - liked and respected and admired by a whole lot of different people.
So the key to being popular is to be nice and friendly to everyone... and I mean *everyone*. The cool people, the nerdy people, the sporty people, the emo people, even the people who no one else likes. It doesn't mean you have to be best friends with all of them, it just means being nice and treating them all with kindness and respect.
But you can't be fake, because people can see right through that. You have to be sincere, and truly believe that every single person has something to offer and is worthy of your time, attention and friendship. When you have that attitude, you'll find that you'll have a lot of friends - people who like you, and who you like right back. And that's what being popular is all about.
i have like 2 or 3 warts on my knee and i was wondering what the fastest wayy to get rid of them is
The best way to get rid of warts is to go to the doctor and have them frozen off. The doctor will spray this really cold air stuff on them... it doesn't hurt, just maybe stings a tiny bit. This kills the wart and it will fall off in a week or so. That's the only thing that's every worked for me, and I've tried a bunch of stuff!
i cant remember the name of this movie so maybe someone else does,
its kinda an old movie
its about this guy who finds an old radio machine and he gets it working and he discovers he's talking to his dad in the past who was a fireman and got trapped in a burning building and died and the guy tells him not to go in the building..
does anyone know what this movie is called?
It's called Frequency. I always wanted to see that but I never did!
ok well my bf and i broke up because he doesnt have time for a gf and im moving in a little over a month. its been really painful for me and i dont know what to do. i dont really care about dating him anymore but hes my best friend too and we have been best friends for a while. he knows everything about me but now he doesnt even have time to call me-seriously. he never calls and when he( or i) finally calls he is like im really busy i cant talk now sry we can talk later. i dont know what to do and last sunday he was flirting with me A LOT and we ended up kissing a couple times because we still kinda like each other but its really confusing. the thing that i cant handle is i've never had a friend who didnt even have time to talk to me! we go to different schools and now he never has time to hang out so we barely see each other except at church and youth group. please help me!! he doesnt have time but he means so much to me and i am leaving soon!!! thank you so much and i will rate :)
Awwww, I'm really sorry that he's acting that way. And I know exactly how you feel, because I've been in the same situation. So I think I know what's going on here.
See, I had to move several times during my school years. And every time, the same thing happened. As soon as they found out I was moving, some of my friends - even my closest ones - would start to act distant. Suddenly they didn't have as much time for me, or they started to drift away to other friends. It was almost as if I was already gone. And it hurt so bad! I was going to miss them terribly, and all I wanted was spend as much time with them as possible while I still had the chance. Why didn't they feel the same way?
Well, I eventually realized they DID feel the same way. My moving was going to be as painful for them as it was for me. Once I was gone, things would be different and there'd be a "gap" in their lives. So what they were doing was trying to prepare themselves for life without me. Letting me go slowly just helped them have a head start toward their new life without me there.
I think that's what's happening with your boyfriend/bestfriend. It sounds like you two have been really close, and he was probably devastated when he learned you were moving. If you continued to date, or even stay really involved with each other as friends, it will be even harder for him when you actually leave. So he's just trying to protect himself from being hurt any more than he already has.
I know that doesn't make it any easier, but it might help to understand why he's acting that way.
Anyway... try talking to him about it, or maybe write him a nice note about it. Let him know how important he is to you, and how hard it will be for you to leave him when you move, and how you'd like to spend as much time as possible with him while you still can. He might not realize that his effort to protect his own feelings is actually hurting you even more. However, if he continues to stay distant, just realize that it's only because he's going to miss you so much.
I hope this helps some. And good luck with your move!