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ok well my bf and i broke up because he doesnt have time for a gf and im moving in a little over a month. its been really painful for me and i dont know what to do. i dont really care about dating him anymore but hes my best friend too and we have been best friends for a while. he knows everything about me but now he doesnt even have time to call me-seriously. he never calls and when he( or i) finally calls he is like im really busy i cant talk now sry we can talk later. i dont know what to do and last sunday he was flirting with me A LOT and we ended up kissing a couple times because we still kinda like each other but its really confusing. the thing that i cant handle is i've never had a friend who didnt even have time to talk to me! we go to different schools and now he never has time to hang out so we barely see each other except at church and youth group. please help me!! he doesnt have time but he means so much to me and i am leaving soon!!! thank you so much and i will rate :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Yeah take it easy. It probably aint sunk in yet that your leaving. When you do see him at church or youth group ask him if you he wants to go out somewheres or something like that. While you are alone talk to him about it. He probably has no idea how you feel.
~Loverocks~
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Stay calm. if possible, ask him to schedule you in for a date or something
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My dear friend,
I'm sorry this is so hard for you. The impression I got when reading your message is that your friend is trying to avoid you: maybe he doesn't like you a certain way, or maybe he does and he's afraid of his feelings. The most likely is that since you're moving away, he doesn't want to get too close to you so he'll get hurt.
Send him a text message or a MySpace message, telling him that you want to be friends when you move and ask him when's the best time to call him during the week.
Again, I'm sorry that this is going on but moving away, you can make new beginnings, new friends, and be a totally new and better person.
Hope that helps!
-Linda
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i would say you definitely need to sit down and have a talk with him
now how would you go about doing this considering he doesnt have time to talk?
i would say text/instant message or even call and say i have something really important that we need to talk about
then from there say that you just want to know where you stand with him, considering he never makes time for you and the fact that youre moving
if you say its important, but he still doesnt make time for it, then you shouldnt make time for him.
and on the bright side, if you are moving, then that is a whole new opportunity for new best friends, it'll be hard letting go, but in the end everything will be okay. if its not okay, its not the end.
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Awwww, I'm really sorry that he's acting that way. And I know exactly how you feel, because I've been in the same situation. So I think I know what's going on here.
See, I had to move several times during my school years. And every time, the same thing happened. As soon as they found out I was moving, some of my friends - even my closest ones - would start to act distant. Suddenly they didn't have as much time for me, or they started to drift away to other friends. It was almost as if I was already gone. And it hurt so bad! I was going to miss them terribly, and all I wanted was spend as much time with them as possible while I still had the chance. Why didn't they feel the same way?
Well, I eventually realized they DID feel the same way. My moving was going to be as painful for them as it was for me. Once I was gone, things would be different and there'd be a "gap" in their lives. So what they were doing was trying to prepare themselves for life without me. Letting me go slowly just helped them have a head start toward their new life without me there.
I think that's what's happening with your boyfriend/bestfriend. It sounds like you two have been really close, and he was probably devastated when he learned you were moving. If you continued to date, or even stay really involved with each other as friends, it will be even harder for him when you actually leave. So he's just trying to protect himself from being hurt any more than he already has.
I know that doesn't make it any easier, but it might help to understand why he's acting that way.
Anyway... try talking to him about it, or maybe write him a nice note about it. Let him know how important he is to you, and how hard it will be for you to leave him when you move, and how you'd like to spend as much time as possible with him while you still can. He might not realize that his effort to protect his own feelings is actually hurting you even more. However, if he continues to stay distant, just realize that it's only because he's going to miss you so much.
I hope this helps some. And good luck with your move!
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