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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Ok, me and my exboyfriend broke up about 3 months ago. We went out for about 6 months and he was literally in love with me, or as close as it gets anyway. I broke up with him and he wanted us to still be friends and he was really depressed and stuff. Eventually, no one at fault, we just drifted away and he started hating my guts for no reason. So, the other day I was on myspace and I decided to message him to appologize for whatever I did that made him hate me. Then, just today, I found out he got a new girlfriend. He told her about it and she's threatened to kick my ass and he's laughing at me and the whole school thinks I was pathetic enough to come crawling back and try to break him and her up, which I wasn't! And no one believes me, probably because I just broke up wit my current boyfriend. I have absolutely NO feelings for my ex, I was just thinking about how good of a friend he was and that it would be cool to be like that again, but now basically the whole school is bugging me about it. His girlfriend is actually on probation for beating up another girl and i'm terrified. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, and I feel horrible and guilty and terrible! What should I do??? Please help!!!
The Answer
Shrug it off and just stop talking about it.
If someone wont let you off the hook about it, simply tell them that you aren't intertested in him at all, and you are sorry that people have got that idea. Nothing else.
If you stop feeding into it, people will stop being such dinks. You can't change what they think, but you can change how much you let it bother you.
If the girlfriend approaches you or threatens you in any way, go to the principal.
You have no reason to feel guilty. You were only trying to be friendly, but your ex wanted to start drama. The only thing you can do is refuse to talk about and wait for the drama to die down... I promise it will. Soon you'll have a whole summer for people to find new nasty things to talk about.
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The Question
I am a female and in the seventh grade....I have a problem in school and i'm hoping you can help me....there's a 8th grade boy in school who always flirts with me dirty and really freaks me out...he writes to me in notes that he likes the way I change in the dressing room: he sliped a note in my locker like this "Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!" ....another one like this ......."what did your left leg say to your right leg? don't know they never met! because my tounge is always down there" ....and he told me this in person ...."Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion the clothes you're wearing weigh exactly two pounds!....it grosses me out and the worst part is My boyfriend says i'm acting weird so he thinks i'm cheating with him....i sure hope you can tell me the easiest thing to do.
The Answer
Tell him to stop AND tell a teacher, or better yet, your principal.
What he is doing is sexual harassment.
It's a good idea to ignore immature comments, but these aren't just immature comments, this is sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is a crime, and evil, so you don't ignore it. You report it.
You can't make him stop all by yourself, because it's obvious that he finds your discomfort funny.
He needs to find out it is not funny at all. The only people who can teach him that are the adults. So let them deal with it and it make it clear to him how absolutely not funny this behavoir is. It is the kind of behavoir that will get an adult guy beaten up, shoved in jail and fired from any decent job. The adults know this, and will make him stop.
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The Question
This is a bit long, but you have to understand the entire deal...
I was with living with this guy for 4 years. From the very beginning, we had problems getting along. I was in love with him at first, but over time, frustration built up, and my feelings began to die, and I finally built up the courage to tell him how I really felt (after months of what I thought were obvious hints.)
I finally kicked him out of my house a couple months ago, and at first, I said I wish we could be friends again. But, the moment I was nice to him, he assumed we're getting back together. So I started ignoring him. Then the text messages started. So I told him one day, that I wanted him to leave me alone, I had no interest in getting back together with him, and that it was time for him to move on. I just didn't feel the same for him anymore.
But the texts continued, and then the desperate, sad voicemails, then the emails all saying the same thing (I've changed! Give me another chance! I need you! I love you! What did I do wrong?). He's even gotten his sister and her boyfriend to bug me about it! And over the past month or two, he's just dropped by unannounced 4 times, one time coming in the back door when I didn't answer the front door. I thought if I just ignored him he'd go away, but things are just getting worse.
Aside from him calling me 5 times a day, his sister left me a text saying I had to talk to him because she was worried he was going to kill himself. And now, I think he started reading my email! (I've already changed my password) I never told him the name of a guy I was chatting with online, and I never called him a stalker to his face, but he's brought up both of those things in voicemails. Then, today, I got a notification that I requested my password on paypal, when I never did. That may not have been him, but it wouldn't surprise me if it were.
I'm starting to get really irritated, and a little concerned. I don't want to get a restraining order, because I don't think I'm in physical harm, but it's getting bad and I don't know how to deal with this anymore. Please help!
The Answer
Three steps:
ONE. Tell his sister and friend that you are very sorry that they is worried about him, but if they genuinely fear he might be suicidal then they needs to talk to him and persuade him to get some help because you will NOT be speaking to him, or to them, about this issue again. Period. If they e-mail you trying to talk about him, answer only with “I’m sorry, I won’t talk about this anymore.” If they call, do not pick up or respond. If you speak to them politely say the same thing.
TWO. E-mail him with a frank, straight forward e-mail expressing for the final time that will not be getting back together with him, and that you are now very uncomfortable with how much he has been calling and that needs to stop. Also, explain to him that 'dropping by' is frightening behavior and if he does it again, you will not be answering any door or speaking to him and will call someone for help. Explain that you need to take care of yourself right now, and you’ve realized that means no longer speaking to him. Ask him to respect that. Try to keep it very, very short and to the point. Tell him exactly what behavoir you want him to stop and leave it at that.
THREE. Stick to the above plan. His mental health is not your responsibly. Your own mental health is. Do NOT respond to his sister or friend with anything but polite refusals to have these conversations. Do NOT respond to any of his e-mails or calls. Do NOT let him in. Call a friend, preferable a neighbor, or the police if he will not leave.
Restraining orders are not just for when someone might harm you physically, they are also for when someone is greatly decreasing your quality of life through some form of harassment. He is harassing you. Send him that one more e-mail, so that the police will have firm evidence of the behavior you have told him to stop, if you need to go to them with it. After that, all communication is over.
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The Question
My date is wearing a white tux and my dress is blue. We're coordinating our outfits. I went to the florists a couple days ago and I was trying to order a boutonniere but none of their flowers were blueish at all. So instead, the florist suggested that I just go with white carnations for the boutonniere but I'm afraid it won't stand out against his white tux. I can call them back and change the types of flower I want but I'm not sure if I should because the other colors they have are yellow and red and pink and such but I don't think it would match. What should I do?
The Answer
Call around to different flourists.
Even smaller towns tend to have two.
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The Question
Ok so the situation about Bob has completly changed. Jill found out everything after he went back to her. It had been about two weeks && I couldn't stop thinking about him so I sent him a text message. Well here we are today like a week later && we are talking again. He swears he thought about me while we weren't together && wanted to talk to me but was scared I was mad at him. He swears he will never hurt me this && that ... he has already stayed with me 2 nights at my apartment && I want him to move in && he has said something about it but I dont want to rush things && him jump into one relationship when he really isn't finish with the other. I am really starting to have really STRONG feelings for him && might could be possible that I am pregnant (not sure but it could be possible) I just dont know what to do ... do I leave him alone or follow my heart && possibly have it crumbled into a million pieces if he decides to go back to her?
The Answer
He's not just 'not finished' his current relationship. He is still married. With children involved.
When there are children involved, your heart really doesn't matter, thiers do.
That is why he has to make a healthy, clean break from his wife before you should get involved. Because only if he is responsible and emotional clear in his decisions can he support and love kids.
Fooling around with you or worse, moving in with you before he has explained things and dealt with the problems on the home front will hurt those kids more deeply then anything you might be feeling.
Send him packing. Tell him to call you when he's been a responsible adult and parent. Anything else is not only selfish, it's cruel and destructive. He has a bigger responsibilties then to his own little desires. He has kids.
In this way, you protect your own heart, and the even more percious hearts of those children. If he still wants you after he has made a clean seperation from his wife, then you slowly see where things might go. NOT BEFORE.
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The Question
I guess the answer is quite obvious but as always, fool in like always think up of excuses only until the truth is blatantly staring at you in your face.
so, anyhow
there's this guy that I recently met at the wakeboarding group.
Our group meets up once a forthnight to wakeboard.
Previously he asked me if I wanted to go wakeboard with him, but because someone interrupted the conversation, it kinda stopped there.
So when our group met up again 2 days ago, I casually asked him 'so , when do you want to go wakeboarding'. His reply was 'Anytime, just give me a call.' so of course I whipped out my mobile all ready to exchange numbers. But he doesn't take his out and instead give me his number. And NEVER asked me back for mine.
So please hit me in the face and wake me up guys and gals. Does this simply mean that he's just not that into me, or not into me at all?
I kinda thought that getting a person's number is imperative if you like him/her.
confused. boo.
The Answer
Okay, big bat of obviousness right to swing...
CALL HIM!
We are not mind readers. Maybe he is really into you but fearful. Maybe he was too nervous to remember. Maybe he left his phone at home. Maybe he likes to be chased. Maybe he is an alien from Neptune who gave you a number that will trigger an explosion destroying all life on earth.
Your short interaction with him simply did NOT give you enough information to make a decision either way on this guy. You need more data.
There are two ways to get more data: Call him up and say "Hey, I'm going wakeboarding tommorrow, wanna come?" or wait around and hope he shows up next time with the group so you can feel him out somemore and maybe set a date then.
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The Question
Well me and my boyfreind have been going out for 1 year Im only 14 and I haved had qute a few boyfreinds. Well are 1 year aniversy is on the 1st of next month and latly he had been pushing me to have sex and I just dont think im ready. Yes I love him but once you do somthing like that things just change. Im pretty sure on are aniversy night hes really going to try. So what should I do give in or not?
thanks in advanced
peace
The Answer
If this is a question of 'giving in' OBVIOUSLY NOT!
He shouldn't be 'trying' anything anyways. You should be able to tell him, straight up, that you don't believe you are ready so it's just not happening.
Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position where you have to make a snap decision. You already know what you decision is, so speak up loud and clear in advance, so that he knows it as well. Then you can avoid the whole problem that evening and just have a sweet time togeather.
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The Question
say someone was pregnant and they were going to get an abortion.. should you tell the babies father?.. you were never going out with him but he lead you on and you got pregnant and now he had a girlfriend and its not you... should you still tell him your pregnant or just leave it alone so you wont cause drama..?
The Answer
As a general rule I think it's important to tell the male involved.
However, if you choose not to tell the guy because he is now wholly unconnected too you and you don't want to speak to him anymore, I think that is probably fine and up to you.
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The Question
theres this sight:
http://www.bored.com/mysticalball/index.htm
how does it do it??!?!?
every single time i try it gets it right!!
very creepy.
so how does it do it?????????
The Answer
It's a very simple little math pattern. No matter what 2 digit number you choose, the answer is going to end up being some multiple of 9. Each time you refreash the page, all multiples of nine have the same symbol beside them.
For a chart that shows you all the possible combinations and thier answers, look here: http://www.meilach.com/howtos/mysticalball/solution.htm
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The Question
So the other night I got home from a concert and my boyfriend said he "knows for a fact" that I am cheating on him. I work late hours (til between 12am and 3:30am) and go out with friends maybe once a week, and sometimes grab a beer if I get off work early. I have no desire to cheat on him...but no matter what I say he does not believe me, I told him I love him and have no interest, check my timecard for work, etc. Still he thinks I am lying. I really just like to go out and have a good time with friends once in a while. Its gotten to the point where he makes sure I wear plain cotton underwear to work. How can I convince him to allow me to keep hanging out with my friends at night and that i am not cheating? he doesnt drink or like going out so I cannot invite him with, plus he works during the day so when i go out he is just sleeping anyway. I feel like I have said everything to him I possibly could.
The Answer
If you have tried to talking to him about how he knows these things and tried to reason with him then it is probably time for some tough talks.
First off: Remind him that he is always invited to come with you when you go out. Inform him that you have nothing to hide, and that you would always enjoy him coming. His reasons for not coming are HIS PROBLEM. You should still leave that offer on the table.
Next, explain to him the specific examples of his controlling behavior (such as checking which underwear you are wearing). Explain to him that it is bullying behavior, and it is not acceptable. Then ABSOLUTELY stop accepting it. Each time he does it, label the behavoir, and tell him you don't respond to bullying.
Be willing to negotiate a bit less time with your friends for the next few weeks if it will help him feel better, but make sure he understands that you are doing it because the relationship is a priority to you. Not because he whined and bullied you into it.
Lastly, inform him that if he truly and 100% believes you are cheating on him, that he needs to dump you. It is disrespectful and mean of him to continue to saying this, but what is worse is that he would choose to still be with someone who is cheating on him. There are two very simply choices here: Either he thinks you are cheating on him and he needs to dump you because of it OR he knows you aren't really cheating on him and he is simply saying all this as a way to control you.
Either way, it needs to stop.
Talk to him about the REASONABLE things you can do to put his mind at ease, such as calling home to check in, inviting him along and giving him opportunities to met and join in with your friends, but stay strict that the controlling behavior and accusations either need to stop, or the relationship needs to end. No matter how sad it is, that is the truth.
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The Question
okay so me and this guy have been dating for about 2 months and usually we dont fight.but like today in class he was being a total ass hole to me for no reason.and like he got his phone taken away and so he makes a comment saying "man my weekend is gna be fun because no one can interrupt me!"
i was like wtf?
thats pretty messed up!
what should i do?
The Answer
Let him cool down over the weekend and then ask him about it.
Everybody has foul moods sometimes and he is entitled to his. All you have to do is ask him him what's up and share with him how it makes you feel.
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The Question
Okay, so i have been going out with Drake,
my boyfriend for ten years. We live together in
an apartment and i really want to get married. i
want to have kids first though. My friends all
have kids and i want to have kids to motavate him
to ask me to marry him. But, i don't know how to
tell him. We have only had sex twice and he said
lately that he doesn't want to have sex until we
are married. I just want to have a kid though
because i love him and latley we haven't been as
close. I think having kids would bring us closer
as a family. How should I tell him? i need
advice! :( gogurl10
The Answer
Babies do NOT fix problems.
Babies don't have responsibilties. It is a very, very incorrect idea to make it a baby's job to fix an adult relationship. The baby just can't do that. That is something you have to do on your own.
Get your relationship on track with clear communication and shared values before you consider having children. Because if you relationship is struggling now, a child will not make things better. It will make things worse.
A man who doesn't want to marry you might be forced to if you have his child, but he will be unhappy and resentful. A man who doesn't want to marry you might also just choose not to marry you, and then you just have a baby, by yourself.
A man who does want to marry you and have children, will do so when the time is right.
If you want a happy baby AND a happy husband ask your boyfriend about his goals for the future and his ideas on starting a family. Share your own ideas as well. Get some relationship counseling if you feel distanced or are having troubles.
Babies do NOT fix problems.
Counselors do fix problems.
Fix your relationship problems, then reproduce.
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The Question
I dont want to have children myself! But I would like to about some when I get married. So I'm going to get my uterus removed. Do you think that my future husband would understand? There is already to much stress to deal with in my life so I really dont think having periods every month or have a crying baby around that needs so much attention even when your at work! So I would like to adopt a 10 or 12 year old so I still have their kid years but not their baby years. I already know what a responsability it is to take care of a kid! My dad left me and my mom while she was pregnat and mom died about 2 years after the baby was born from cancer so we live with our grandparents that are always gone so I take care of my 2 year old brother! So my real question is, do you guys think my husband would understand about all this? Thanks to whoever answers!
The Answer
Unless you have an illness that requires it, no doctor will agree to sterilize a young woman. Trust me, I've asked. A lot of them.
Most doctors have said they would not consider performing any elective sterilization surgery on a woman before the age of 30, unless she already has several children, or needed it for health reasons.
They are too concerned that a young woman might change her mind and feel it would be irresponsible of them to perform it. Since it is an elective surgery, they are well within their rights to choose not to perform it.
To answer your question, some men will understand, and some will not. The best thing you can do is be honest and upfront with your long-term partners and not say 'maybe' to children when what you really mean is 'no way in hell.' You might find some people will not want to date you for that reason, and that is okay. It's important that a couple have compatible life goals.
Solving this possible problem is easy: Choose a husband who understands and feels similarly, and then you will have a husband who understands and feels similarly.
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The Question
I've been dating this boy for about 3 months now, offically. Before that we were an "item" for a couple of months. I don't fancy myself to be in love, considering I'm 16 and don't consider myself mature enough to be in love. I do however care about him, quite alot. But there are a few catches.Theres an age difference. I was 15, and him 18, when we first started dating. I turned 16 two weeks ago. He's a senior, and I a sophmore. This age difference really doesn't matter to me, age is just a number. Its where you are in life that allows you to have a connection. But this age difference means that in August he'll be going away to college. But I knew this going in and have accepted it as the inevitable and see no reason to dwell on it. As someone wise once said "shit happens." I also don't expect him to keep things going with me after he leaves. A 4 hour drive is a ridiculously long way away for a 18 and 16 year old. I wish I was optimistic enough to think it would work, but it wouldn't. I am however optimistic enough to think that we could last through a 45 minute drive. We met through the Washington DC Right for Life march, and live in the same state, but in too different towns. It started off as us just wanting to be friends. But we were spending 6 hours on the phone. And meeting every other weekend. The second time we met we ended up kissing. But neither of us were ready to commit to such a distance, mostly because I couldn't drive. But as time went on we got more and more attached to each other and we finally decided to make things offical. It hasnt been easy. My parents are sticklers and won't let me drive the 45 minutes to go see him. And I can't expect him to drive that far with gas prices how they are every weekend. So we don't get to see each other as often as we would like. Another catch is the fact that he's a HUGE flirt. I mean, shameless flirter. And he's going to prom with another girl. She is one of his good friends, but I still feel 'iffy' about the whole ordeal. It would be different if she couldn't find another date, but she's drop dead gorgeous and if I didn't resent her so much I'd probably say she was pretty nice as well. This put stress on the relationship, but I've tried not to say anything. I'm trying to be understanding. But it still upsets me. Other than this the relationship has been good, great, up until the night before last. He told me he felt that our relationship was fake. He knew we both cared about each other alot, but the long distance was taking its toll. That he didn't want things to be over, but he didn't know how long we'd last. This came out of no where. No where. I swear. Then last night he got drunk and made out with his ex. He called me later still trashed and told me what happened. He said he was so incredibly sorry, that I deserved so much better, that he did it because he was drunk and thought I was going to leave him, that he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt me. I just don't know what to do. I love him. Not in love, but I do love. And I don't want to break up with him. But I don't know what to do about this. I'm not mad, just hurt. And I don't know what to say to him. I don't want to break up, but I can't have him doing stuff like that to me....any advice?
The Answer
If I were the gambling type, I would bet he wants to break up. I doubt anything you do, or say or feel, will stop him from wanting to break up.
His actions sound like sabotage. They sound like the actions of someone who is trying to make the relationship end. When a guy says 'You deserve better then me' what he often means is 'I want out of this relationship but like you too much to dump you, so I'm just going to behave badly until you dump me...'
This wasn't going to last forever, and sadly instead of taking your view on things and enjoying what you two have for the time being, this guy sounds as though he can’t deal with that emotionally, and it trying to write an ending he CAN deal with. A rather messy one at that.
A lot of this relationship sounds like it was made up of you compromising yourself and pushing your feelings away for his benefit. Is it worth it to continue that for a few more months on the off-chance he might start to behave himself?
You know that you will either break up now or in a few months.
Either way it is going hurt. SO, all you need to decide is if you can enjoy and benefit from a few more months with him. If you are too hurt to do so, just dump him now, because if I am right about him hoping to sabotage you, then his behavior is going to get worse, not better, before the final goodbye.
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The Question
Well, the other day I was talking to my boyfriend and he asked me "how far I wanted to go". To be honost, I really don't know. I had planned to stay abstinent until marriage, but I know that as I get older, I might lose my current, or future, boyfriend if I don't want to do very much sexually. I mean, I don't know. I'm only 14 so I think i'm to young to be "sexually active", but it seems as if everyone's doing something like that.... I just don't know what to do...are guys going to pressure me to do this stuff when I get into highschool? I guess i'm just afraid of being the last person considered "prude". Thanks, any advice welcome.
The Answer
There will ALWAYS be people who pressure you about things you don't want to do. ALWAYS.
That doesn't mean you should do them. In fact, pressure is usually a good sign you should NOT do it.
You can't worry what other people think so much AND stick to your values. One of those two things have to change.
You can change your values if you want too, but don't change them for your signifigant other's sake. Sex wont make anyone love you more, or stay with you. If it did I would have like 20 men and women who are madly in love with me. I don't, because sex doesn't work that way. Not for anybody.
If a guy can't stay with you and love you without sex, then he eventually wont stay with you and love you with sex. If he can't deal with your choices, he isn't the right guy for you, no matter how much you might love him.
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The Question
hi Razhie, so you seem like a person that knows stuff and where to get things, I really like this bag:
http://cgi.ebay.com/DOLCE-GABBANA-NEW-STYLE-PINK-WITH-WHITE-STRIPES-PURSE_W0QQitemZ110244128929QQihZ001QQcategoryZ63852QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262
it is a white and pink striped D&G purse...and I wont be able to get that one(long story.) I was wondering if you could help me find the same bag on a different website or on ebay somewhere?...cheap please? I dont have lots of money!!! :-) THANKS SOOO MUCH IN ADVANCE!!!!!! i have been looking for a while now...no luck :-(
The Answer
Um, I never answer shopping questions, because I don't know. I don't really shop, except kinda second-hand and in the market... and buying online is uber scarry.
Frankly though, you aren't gonna get that bag any cheeper. In fact, that bag is probably a knock off, or stolen, because you just don't get real Dolce & Gabbana (even the cheeper D&G line, as that bag claims to be) for $30. Thier bags go for $200 to $2000.
See here for an idea of actual, legitimate pricing: http://www.designerexposure.com/product/20280/
So where should you look for this bag? Either keep trolling ebay or keep your eyes peeled at strange guy's trunks in half-full parking lots. Because anywhere else you find a bag exactly like this, it is gonna cost you a pretty penny. Be careful when you see deals like this online claiming to be designer products. When something is too good to be true... well, it isn't true.
Anyone in your life have a sewing machine? Because bags are really easy. Like you could do that in two or three hours if someone helped you read the instructions. Drop by your local sewing store and take a look at the patterns. You will likely see something very similar to that.
I know, not the advice you were looking for at all, but I'm not going to recommend you buy an rip-off or stolen goods, and I can't imagine finding that bag cheep any other way, so there you have it.
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The Question
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/168/442739396_ca8527871f.jpg
The Answer
Welsh Corgi's probably.
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The Question
13/f
okay i recently wanted to start to wear eyeliner.
i found this CLINIQUE EYE DEFINING DUO AND BLACK LINER in my drawer that i never used before. i got it when i was 8, and well, you know how 8 year old girls love to experiment. so i went crazy and put heavy eyeliner. and so my parents just laughed it off and said i was too young. so now i found it, and i want to wear it again. but im afraid my parents will joke around about it with the rest of my family (to the point where they say "ohhh hey my daughters wearing eyeliner now"
they dont mind me wearing eyeliner i guess but i dont it to be a big deal when they see me wearing it. so how should i go about wearing eyeliner without them making a big deal and laughing it off
The Answer
I think the best thing to do would be to kindly tell them that you are feeling teased and would apperciate if they wouldn't make comments like that. If they say those things, which they might not.
They probably don't want to make you feel bad. They just delight in you growing up and discovering yourself. They want to be a part of it (even when you rather they just butt out).
BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THIS: DO NOT USE THAT MAKE UP.
It's spoiled. It's too old. Makeup goes bad, like anything else, and it might damage your eyes to use expired makeup like that. At best, make-up *might* have a two year shelf-life, then it should always be thrown away. Go out and buy some fresh stuff. It will work better, look better, and probably not make you sick.
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The Question
16/m
Yesterday i aksed this girl out that i realy liked her so finally i asked her and she said yes. well now everytime we are together shes always quiet, im always doing most of the talking, I dont want our relationship to be plain i want to connect with her but she quiet even with her freinds they told me she was just as quiet. I just want to know how to gain her trust so she can talk to me more, i dont want to lose her please somebody help!!!
The Answer
Ask her questions about herself and her opinions. When you are talking about your life and your friends and problems, ask her what her thoughts on things are.
She probably wont leap out of her shell tommorrow. She might always be a quiet girl. The best thing you can do is let her know that her opinions are important to you AND that she can share them without you judging her for them.
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The Question
im 15.f. i have this friend thatt is not close friend but we do trust each other alot...but were not like realli long time known friend we met this year..and became reali good friends.. she has a b.f and and his name is (D) so then this guy named (D) was talkign to me andhe goe simgoing to break up with my g.f tomorrow..and when i found out that (D) is the same guy my friend is dating i was in shock ..i called right away after talking to him and told her everything she stared crying and said shell call me back and i was liek ok...
but now they broke up ad me and him are talking and he keeps asking me to goona date and like what ever and it old him shes my realli good friend and that i cant do tat to her and he goes wil wait an dimlike will wait a long time...and he oes like not long long but enough time..and now i dont no what to do....and please dont say tell her abot it and ask heror something like that because that not the possibilitu i have right now..yea i do liek him and ye ai like my friend to but it wwasnt beacuse of me they broke up ....
so please i dont no what to do......help!!!
i will rate u thanx =)
The Answer
Stop talking to him.
Look at it this way: It is going to be a VERY long time before you feel comfortable even thinking about dating him right? He has made it clear he isn't all that keen on waiting or respecting his exes bounderies, or yours.
If you keep talking to him, something will happen. Without meaning to be you'll end up in a 'relationship' that you don't even want to have happen. Worse, your friend might find out from someone other then yourself.
Why take the risk?
Right now, you don't want to date him, and it's almost impossible to be his friend if what you both really want to do it date.
Take a breather from talking to him in order to make up your mind without him hounding you about it. If you want to go foward with him, that is fine, just be honest with your friend. If you don't want to date him, be honest about it. Don't say 'Not now.' say 'No.'
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