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How do i tell him i want to have kids?
Okay, so i have been going out with Drake,
my boyfriend for ten years. We live together in
an apartment and i really want to get married. i
want to have kids first though. My friends all
have kids and i want to have kids to motavate him
to ask me to marry him. But, i don't know how to
tell him. We have only had sex twice and he said
lately that he doesn't want to have sex until we
are married. I just want to have a kid though
because i love him and latley we haven't been as
close. I think having kids would bring us closer
as a family. How should I tell him? i need
advice! :( gogurl10
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i dont think having a baby would solve ANY of your problems. in fact, i think they would make them worse. my really straight-forward advice is don't have kids til you're married
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Relationships make babies.
Babies dont make relationships.
If it's not working out for you as a couple a baby will just complicate things. Speaking from experience making the relationship work well as a couple can be tough. Working together to stay a couple and raise a child together is 10 times harder.
If you really want a baby just tell him so and see what his reaction is. The only real way to know is just put it out there. Whatever you do though, don't just get pregnant thinking it will suddenly turn him into your soul mate again. It just doesn't work that way. Good Luck.
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Babies do NOT fix problems.
Babies don't have responsibilties. It is a very, very incorrect idea to make it a baby's job to fix an adult relationship. The baby just can't do that. That is something you have to do on your own.
Get your relationship on track with clear communication and shared values before you consider having children. Because if you relationship is struggling now, a child will not make things better. It will make things worse.
A man who doesn't want to marry you might be forced to if you have his child, but he will be unhappy and resentful. A man who doesn't want to marry you might also just choose not to marry you, and then you just have a baby, by yourself.
A man who does want to marry you and have children, will do so when the time is right.
If you want a happy baby AND a happy husband ask your boyfriend about his goals for the future and his ideas on starting a family. Share your own ideas as well. Get some relationship counseling if you feel distanced or are having troubles.
Babies do NOT fix problems.
Counselors do fix problems.
Fix your relationship problems, then reproduce.
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Wanting kids so that he'll be motivated to ask you to marry him is pretty irresponsible. Creating life for the sole reason of you benefiting from a marriage proposal is a decision an adolescent would make.
That strategy will not work, period. There's a reason that you are not married to each other, and it doesn't stem from the fact that you don't have children.
Please, for the sake of any children you create out of wedlock, do not have kids with him unless you're married.
You don't need to ask advice on how to tell him you want kids, you need advice on the best places to receive marriage counseling.
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