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July 7, 2005

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September 21, 2006

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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

how can i tell what people in the world are honest and good?

and why is everything always about sex lately?

its so fckd up.

i rate high. :]

You can't. Everybody has some level of dishonesty, and also badness. You just have to trust your gut first, and everyone else second. In other words, don't go putting all your faith into everyone you meet. It will come back to hurt you. But you're growing up, and that's the way the world is.

Everything is about sex lately...probably because of your age? You didn't specify how old you were so I'm just guessing here, but probably it's because the people around you are just opening up as the sexual beings that they are. You are too. There's nothing wrong with sex, and it's nothing to be ashamed about if you think about sex a lot. And it will probably die down some in the next few years.

But if you meant society and the way sex is shown in the media, well...think about it. Have you ever read classic mythology? Norse mythology? The Bible? One Thousand and One Nights? Try flipping through them some time. Those things were written thousands of years ago, some of them even before writing was invented, and atleast half of it is sex. Even the people who tell you not to have sex, or even to think about having sex, are thinking about sex when they tell you that. It's not something new. Humans have ALWAYS thought about sex. It's part of our inborn animal nature, like the way we go into a trance when we watch fire or how we're protective of our children.

Basically, it's not the rest of the world that's "fcked up", it's just you. (Don't take that the wrong way, please! =) If it was me with this problem, I would say "It's just me." So, it was meant to make you feel better. SMILE!)

what is autostic.. im not sure if that is the correct spelling but i was wondering what it was. thank you.

It's spelled autistic and it means "someone who has autism." Autism is a type of mental retardation, but it varies. There are many austistic people who you wouldn't even think had anything wrong with them, and many who are very severely retarted.

That should provide you with plenty more information.

Im thirteen and I have babysat my younger sister and some kids down the street once, also my cousin who is four but i dont see her much. Anyways, I have given out flyers and stuff about a hundred times and noone will respond and noone will let me babysit. It s not like im a bad sitter or anything because ive only babysat those kids down the street and they had alot of fun and nothing went wrong. I dont get allowance and I cant get a job for a couple more years. I petsit but very rarely, and I dont have any money at all except for whats in the bank and Im saving that for college. Does anyone have ideas for jobs I could do or ways I can advertise my babysitting more?
Thanks!

Well, are you a certified babysitter? Because if you have some kind of certification that says you know first aid and you have taken a babysitting class, it makes you look better--and you will learn a lot from the class.

Okay, I know everyone hates these "OMG I LIKE THIS GUY BUT I DONT KNO WAT 2 DO!" questions, but this one is kind of different... kind of.

Well... I like this guy. We have no classes together, so we get almost no chances to talk, which sucks. He doesn't ever start coversations on IM or anything, which makes me think that the chances of him liking me are VERY, VERY slim. I'm trying to get closer to him, but with little success. He's nice, cute, considerate... everything that's good in a guy, but I just don't know how to get to him, you know what I mean? We're interested in a lot of the same things and have many of the same friends.

Now, a friend of mine said that he might like this one girl (The friend isn't sure, which is why he said MIGHT). It just hurts. I like him a lot... Should I keep trying or just give up? And what should I do? Thanks!!

If you wait any longer, you'll lose him. Tell him upfront how you feel, and ask if he likes you as well. Don't listen to rumors, even if a friend told them to you. What if the guy didn't want anyone to know he liked you, so he hinted at liking the other girl? It's a possibility.

A lot of people tell girls to keep waiting and they'll find love eventually. Don't believe that. You need to seize the oppurtunity, and you need to do it now.

the theme is; Bridget Jones.
Here’s the assignment ;
(I’m sorry if it’s long)

The actors of Bridget Jones’s Diary weren’t pleased when they saw the DVD cover for the first time.
They want an outsider to create something really spectacular, Which will almost -force- people to buy this DVD.

To choose the best DVD cover they will also need an explanation from you, in which you tell them why you have chosen to create the DVD cover the way you did.

So be creative and keep in mind that you want them to choose your product.

- That’s the project,
and I’m running dry, Does anyone has a cool idea?
Please tell me I RATE 5’s!

thanks so much!

That's got to be the easiest assignment ever. Just start doodling stuff, an the ideas will come to you. Then re-copy it all nice like.

My friend is hanging out with my old friend. my old friend is into bad things like sex and stuff. I don't want my friend to be around those kind of people.

You probably won't like my answer, but it's the truth. You can't do anything about it. Your friend is going to do what she wants to do, and if you don't like it, you have to find a new a friend.

Well then you just have to decide what's harder, finding someone new or staying friends with someone you have problems with.

Okay i downloaded bearshare and i guess i can`t use it because i have some sort of spyware on my computer..

Can somebody help or tell me some other music thing i can put on here if you help it will be greatly appreciated..
♥

If you have spyware, finding a new music program shouldn't be your top priority. Seriously, you should be more concerned with installing firewalls and anti-spyware. If you don't, your computer will be greatly harmed.

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/alerts/spywarealrt.htm has more information.

Anyway, I've heard that Ares is the best one but there is still a risk of getting spyware from it. I think someone else mentioned this, but Bearshare probably gave you the spyware to begin with.

Everynight I sit in bed for about 2 hours before I fall asleep. Its not a big problem staying awake but the stress I go through trying to fall asleep is terrible. It's been going on everynight for about three weeks. I told my mom there was something wrong with me and that I needed sleep pills but she blew it off. So I began taking tylenol PM (without her knowing) and it put me to sleep within 30 mintues. But this weekend I ended up exposing alot of my secrets to her (that I have been drinking, etc) and told her about the pills. She believes me now and is going to take me to the doctor but she take forever to set up an appointment and I hate bringing it up. So Im going to probably end up taking them again. My question is, are all of these problems I've been having signs that im depressed? To me, it seems like what every kid my age does and that I shouldnt be worried.

There is nothing wrong with you. Teenagers are naturally nocturnal. For the most part, we don't really get tired until after midnight. That's why it's unfair that high school starts so early and elementary school starts much later (because the little kids "need their rest"--ha! they're up bouncing around at 5 in the morning). The doctor probably won't put you on sleep medicine. You probably have other problems (the drinking, for example), but insomnia is normal. Try reading in bed, rather than trying to sleep.

ok so im friends with this one guy Will. we have this whole group of friends..4 girls and 2 guys including Will...i always feel like im saying or doing the wrong thing to him. for example..i always take his ipod and listen to it b/c it has better songs than mine ((also to kinda firt with him)). and i had no idea that he was mad at me for doing that but he told my friend Claire that he doesn't like it. and another time when i asked him for a bite of his pizza..he said no and i begged some more and then he said no still and ((jokingly))i said i hate you will...((jokingly)) but i think he took it the wrong way...simply put im always saying/doing the wrong thing to him...how do i stop doing saying or doing the wrong thing around him?

First, think before you speak. You know these things annoy him, so don't do it. And tell him to tell you when you're annoying him. He was being unfair, talking behind your back like that. Say that anything he can say to Claire he can say to you.

16/f. my boobs feel a little sore. does this mean they are growing?

Or you are near your period, or they are just very big.

Hi, for my schools talent show I am reading a poem. I want to read a poem by someone else and of course I will give them their credit. But I want to know other people's opinions of good poems that they know of. I am open to suggestions. If you could supply me with the author and the name of the poem that would be great. But you don't have to worry about giving me the exact poem unless you want to(that would definitely be great but its not a must.) Thanks in advance :)

Poison Tree by William Blake; On the Burning of My House by Anne Bradstreet; Richard Cory by Edwin Arlington Robinson; Nobody by Emily Dickinson. Check out other works by those poets, too.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain..what song is this and who is it by?

Seems a few people already told you what the song was, but next time you wanna know just type some of the lyrics into google. Trust me, it never fails.

I'm a junior in highschool. I've taken Biology and Chemistry. I passed Bio with an 89 and I passed Chem with a 96. So next year I have to decide to take physics or bio 2. The physics teacher says there is a lot of math involved. And I'm a strong math student. But I talked to my sister and she said it was really hard(but she's not a strong math student). The physics teacher doesn't have tests in her class and hardly any homework. Then the bio teacher says that her class will better prepare you for college. She says that she helps us with studying and everything. But she said you will have to work your butt off for an A. The bio teacher said that we will have to take bio in college no matter what we want to major in(which I have no clue what I want to do) so I don't know if I should take bio and be more prepared or physics. Any advice?

Just do whatever YOU want. Think of the classes as different paths. Nobody can tell you which one to walk--that's for you to decide. It seems like you would rather take physics, so my advice is to do that. You're not going to do well in a class that you didn't want to take. Also, you might not have to take bio in college. It depends on what college you go to, different schools have different requirements. And I'm pretty sure that all high school classes prepare you for college, since that's the purpose of high school. If you REALLY want to be prepared, you can take a year off before going to regular college and take a few classes at a community college. Many people I know have done that, and that's what I'm doing next year, and from what I've heard it helps a lot. But like I said, the choice is yours.

ok, im almost in love with this guy. not obsessed, but getting close.
he's gorgeous && incredibly sweet.
but there are problems;;
1)i cannot talk to him
2)he likes someone else
3)he's a druggie
now, i know what you're going to say about him doing drugs.. but hey! sometimes, a bad boy is good for a girl..you know??lmao
so what can i do??
should i just sit around && hope he gets over this other girl??
or should i talk to him??..conversation starters???

will rate high ;D
♥ thank yooou

I'll tell you what you honestly SHOULD do, but you're not going to like it.

Admire him from afar. Fantasize about him however you like. Write love letters that you don't intend to send. Daydream about having sex with him. But take it no further than that.

"Gorgeous" is nice, and "sweet" is definitely a good quality to have. But how about...noticing you? Respecting you? How about responsibility--that's the exact opposite of being a druggie.

A bad boy is like a flame. It's pretty. You know it's dangerous--that's what gives it the appeal. Fire excites you, and you want to touch it. I don't think I have to tell you what would happen if you acted on that desire. Now think about what would happen if you were with a guy like this. Sure, he'd be pretty and exciting, but what if there is a day when he hasn't had his drugs? Ever heard of withdrawl symptoms? One of them is violence. And who is he going to get violent with? Somebody he might like to control...perhaps his girlfriend?

He's not different, you can't change him. A bad boy is NEVER good for a girl.

Find someone worthy of your affection.

A married man who I have known for a couple of years, and used to be friends with him and his wife phoned me up recently and asked me if I wanted to meet him in another city. He was getting his trailer hitched to his truck and said it was going to take a couple of hours. He said if I picked him up, while he was waiting for the trailer to be hitched that he would treat me to lunch and we could go shopping, and he'd pay for my gas. When I picked him up he said that he didnt want me to tell anyone we were doing this. First we went to the mall (remember this is in another city). He walked VERY close to me, we could have been joined at the hip. After when we went to a restaurant for lunch, he never mentioned his wife once, and instead was asking me personal questions about where I was going to meet Mr. Right. He was being very flirtatious, and I caught him staring at me romantically. When we got back into my car for the drive back to the trailer he watched me suck on a sucker from the restaurant and told me I had a "sucker fetish". I felt it was a very sexual thing to say. He was also staring at my lips when I applied lip gloss and looked like he was getting turned on.
So my question is, would this be considered cheating on his wife? Although we never had sex? I'm feeling really guilty.
signed, feeling guilty

It's extremely sketchy, but not quite cheating. Personally, I don't think that there has to be sex in order for it to be cheating, it just needs to be defined as a "romantic date". Also, you shouldn't feel guilty because it is in no way your fault. You didn't want him to say any of those things, and from the sound of it you didn't comfortably flirt back. Lay down the ground rules. I know it seems like a preschool thing to say, but remind him that you have personal boundaries that just cannot be crossed. If he continues to make you feel uncomfortable, you may need to end your friendship with him. I'm also pretty sure that this is sexual harassment, since it's caused you a lot of grief. So don't feel guilty about it because you it is in no way your fault.

I know that people say you are too young to be in love. But does that mean I can't tell my boyfriend that I love him?

13/F

Thanks so much !!

It depends on if your boyfriend is comfortable with it. Personally I don't believe what most people say. Four-year-olds can be in love. You are too young to have sex, get married, raise children, own a house, etc. but none of those things are love. Don't worry about what others think. You're the only one who knows how you feel.

my modeling manager wants me to be in the magazine MAXIM. i am 14, do you think this is weird?
he says its good for exposure since i am just starting.

No, don't do it. He's trying to exploit you. Say no and if he continues to pressure you get a lawyer as fast as you can. If you have to even stop to think if something is wrong or weird, chances are you shouldn't do it. Don't ever let anyone make you do something you don't want to.

Everytime my boyfriend (who i have been with for 1 and a half years) gets a boner, his penis is bent, like a banana. If i try to have foreplay with him, this makes it difficult and i want to laugh. Im not sure what to do. It makes intercourse unsexy and turns me off. He just doesnt give me the pleasure i need. Does anyone know what to do? im thinking of breaking up with him because i need to laugh everytime he gets horny. Please get back to me as soon as possible!

I think it should be easy enough not to look at it. You can close your eyes or look at his face instead. But I don't think the fact that he can't please you is entirely the fault of the way his penis is shaped. He might just not be good at sex. Or it might be you. It helps to fantasize while you're having sex. Talk it out with him. I'm sure you can figure something out. If you can't, break up with him (though that's a little shallow, frankly).

How can you tell if he actually likes you?

You say to him, "Do you actually like me?" and he says "Yes."

when my bf is 18 i will be turning 17 5 months later. it sounds not a big of a deal but he doesnt want to give my parents a reason for him to stop talkin to me so he is plannin to break up with me until i turn 18. he still will be close friends with me but i just dont like the idea. can someone help. my mom doesnt like him and wont get to know him bc of his skin color she thinks she has my whole life planned for me.

What's the issue here? The fact that he will be 18, or your mother not liking him? Because neither are reasons you have to break up. It is perfectly legal for an 18-year-old to go out with a 16-year-old. And you need to stand up to your mother because she has no right to tell you who to be friends with or go out with. That's her problem, not yours.

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