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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I am a 28 year old female and I like this guy at thrift store that I volunteer at. He's 48 years old. I know that is a huge age difference. I just don't know if I should ask him out. I have always dated younger men that have treated me like crap and expected me to pay for everything. They never had jobs. This guy is a lot different he has 2 jobs and has his own place. He makes laugh whenever I am around him. I enjoy talking to him, but I guess I am scared he doesn't feel the same way about me. What should i do?
Age is just a number. For the moment all you want to do is get to know him. The old saying here; "nothing ventured nothing gained, applies. What is the worst that can happen, he says no or he says in a very nice way that your a nice girl and if he was younger he could really go for you but your too young for him.
You could try a soft approach by inviting for coffee after worm. You say, "Hey Joe how about joining me for a cup of coffee." It's not a date its two coworkers enjoying a cup of coffee after work, decompressing before going about their business. Nothing threatening about it.
Explain how things that plants or animals do are done by the work of cells?
This sounds like a homework question. Most of us will not do your homework for you; that is not what we do. We will point you in a direction to find the answer. Tap on the link below which will take you to a page I found using Google search:
https://www.google.com/search?q=Explain+how+things+that+plants+or+animals+do+are+done+by+the+work+of+cells&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:IE-ContextMenu&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7WQIB_enUS509&gws_rd=ssl
Is it okay for women to use men's deodorant? Would men's deodorant work better than womans's deodorant?
A woman's skin is more delicate then a mans skin. A mans deodorant is stronger and formulated for their heavier skin. If you were to use a mans deodorant you may find it irritates your skin.
28 female
I have a bad body odor and its been an extreme problem for me ever since high school . I would take a bath at night and I would also take a bath the next morning when I got up for school . I would also put on deodorant and then bring it with me and add more on through out the day and keep it in my purse . I still do this now that I am 28 years old ,but the problem is that I still stink and every deodorant that I have tried doesn't help any. What should I do?
Have you ever heard the expression you are what you eat. While I am not a doctor I can tell you that people that consume foods that are very spicy, have large amounts of garlic, tend to have more problems with body odor then others.
If you are not one of those who consume spicy meals then I suggest you see your doctor and ask the doctor to see if there is an organic cause for your problem.
I'm 12 my mum and dad broke up 8 years a go don't try to stop me committing i want to end it i just want a painless way to do it
Sweetheart your parents divorce has nothing to do with you or how much they love you. I can assure that even though they may not show it they do love you. You are the best thing that ever came from the love they once had for each other. For you to suddenly leave them would be devastating to them.
To answer your question I can tell you after a lifetime in the fire Department with the last ten years in a rescue company; there is no painless way to die. Even if there were you have come to the wrong place for that type of information for that is not what we do here.
What we do here is help people find answers to their problems. Suicide is not an solution it is a final solution you cannot return from. You are obviously hurting about something and that is okay if you are for we can find you help for what is hurting you. Let us try to find you the help that will make things right and allow you to live the life you are destined for. I would like you to do the following for me please.
1. If you are still feeling suicidal while reading this pleas pick up a phone and dial 911. Tell the call taker you feel suicidal. The call taker will stay on the phone with you while help is dispatched. The help will be the closest fire truck to care for you and keep you until an ambulance arrives. A Police Officer will also be dispatched for your safety and to see to it that mom allows you to be taken to an ER for evaluation and treatment. IF you are not suicidal go to the number 2 & 3.
2. Call this number 1-800-668-6868. It is the kids help line. It is free and anonymous. They have trained counselors to help you with any problem you may have.
3. Call this number 1-822-273-8255. It is the National Suicide prevention Hot Line. This line will connect you to a Crisis center in you community that will help you find the professionals who can help you through whatever crisis is bothering you.
Suicide is an option of last resort. Try living, there are people out there just waiting for your call to help you. Pleas call them.
I've lived with a multitude of different people in my life and now I never want to do it again. I've lived with an ex-fiance where we shared an apartment, with a serious boyfriend in his apartment, with both of my parents in their respective apartments. I've lived with a multitude of different roommates through college and I currently live with one roommate. At one time I had my own apartment for three months during summer vacation on campus and it was the best time of my life. I loved it. I also like my current situation because my roommate goes to bed early and we have our own bedrooms and bathrooms and she's fairly clean, but I would still prefer to live alone.
I hate sharing, it makes me angry to see another persons items taking up space in the house (including in the fridge, cabinets, etc.) I want everything to be decorated my way and for the house to be clean and organized at all times. I don't want to worry about walking out of my bedroom in a T-shirt. I don't want to worry about waking somebody up or them waking me up. I want to decorate everything all my own and not have to worry about somebody else putting up decor or bringing in furniture.
I hate sleeping with another person. I don't like their body heat next to mine, that they take up space in my bed, that I can't spread out. I don't like being cuddled/held/touched when I'm trying to sleep. I don't like the idea of somebody else sleeping in my bed and possibly not having showered first. I don't even want people to sit on my bed. Similarly, I don't like people using my shower/bathtub/toilet it's gross to me. I'd prefer they go home and use their own though I understand if it's an emergency.
I also don't like other people's pets. I only like my own. I just automatically see other people's pets as dirty and probably having fleas (which I'm terrified of and will break down and cry if I see one).
Now all of this makes me sound like a very antisocial person right?
Well here's the odd part. Outside of the house, I love being around people. I love to be social, see my friends/family, and go to social events. I do want to be in a relationship, but I don't know that I could ever live with somebody again let alone another man.
I hope that doesn't sound sexist, but I've just noticed men tend to be a little sloppy and have expectations about their living environment that upset me. For example, little things like my ex wanting to put up a tacky painting on the wall or leaving his game controller out used to make me very upset. Another ex was clean and decorated nicely, but I couldn't stand the feeling of somebody coming home at a certain time every day and always having to work around his schedule. I eventually also started to panic about some of his items that would sit around for too long or that I didn't think were flattering.
All of this leads me to wonder if I'm OCD. When I say these things make me upset they don't just make me emotional for a short time, I have full on anxiety attacks about it. I don't see myself ever being in a serious relationship again because I'm not willing to live with a man.
Is this all crazy? What's wrong with me?
First understand that we are not doctors and we cannot give medical advice. That being said from what you have written it you do sound like someone who may suffer some form of OCD or AD/HD. Have you ever asked to be evaluated by a doctor for this? If not I strongly recommend you do so. Both OCD and AD/HD are highly treatable with medication and talk therapy.
Some of what you have written that you cannot live with are not, I'll use the word reasonable for lack of another word. The human animal is designed to have a partner in life. No all of us do but almost all of us want one, have had one and for many reasons lost that partner and do not want to replace the partner. That is not the category you fit in.
To me and many others it doesn't matter if you have a same sex partner or opposite sex partner. What matters is if you are happy. For those in society that think same sex partners are committing a sin against nature I have two words for them, SCREW THEM. They are the ignorant ones. Having a partner in life to share both the good and bad times makes life much easier then being a lone.
You ask are you crazy? My answer is no. You ask what's wrong with me? My answer is you suffer from a social anxiety problem that may or may not be OCD. You will feel much better about yourself if you seek help from your doctor and be treated for what ever is bothering .
I had no idea what category to pick for this. I'm probably going to sound crazy and weird, but I just want an opinion.
I'm 20/F. I recently started chatting with a guy on a forum dedicated to a sexual fetish.
In school, we were always taught to be cautious because you never know if the person you are talking to online is a random middle aged man trying to use you. Well, ironically enough, the guy I'm talking to is almost 50, but he's not trying to use me and he isn't acting creepy at all. He's been quite clear about his age, and he knows my age. He's told me that he's married and has three daughters around my age. He's very polite and respectful, and tells me he doesn't want to cross any of my boundaries because he likes talking to me.
We've been talking quite a bit over the past couple weeks. Despite the topic usually being related to the fetish, our conversations are not
at all sexual, mostly given the age gap, though I wouldn't be comfortable with it in any situation. There are brief mentions of being excited or aroused, but that's it. Zero details, nothing more than a mention. I'd describe it as a friendship based on a shared interest.
I've been pretty careful, despite how nice he's being. The only things he really knows are my age and what country I live in. I haven't given him my name, and he hasn't pushed for it. He hinted once, but I told him I was uncomfortable giving it to him, and he immediately backed off. (I suppose I could easily give a fake name, but he's calling me by my favourite colour right now, and I quite enjoy it). We've sent a few pictures to each other, but none nude and none showing faces.
I just want to know if you think this is an okay thing for me to be doing. He doesn't seem creepy at all, just friendly and lonely, and he isn't pushing for anything. A couple times he's said things that he thought might be crossing a line and proceeded to apologize several times before I told him I wasn't at all uncomfortable with what he had said. To me it feels like a relatively harmless relationship, but I would like an outside opinion.
It is really hard to say as there is information missing here. Leave out the mutual fetish for a moment and just look at the age difference. A 50 year old male chatting with a 20 year old female is in itself a bit suspect in this day and age. Sexual predators are all very nice to begin with and to win your confidence and trust. This is the norm for most sexual predators. Now in your instance you have a shared sexual fetish.
There is nothing wrong with sexual fetishes. My personal belief is what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. As long as both parties consent it is no one else's business.
There is also nothing wrong with a 20 year old and a 50 year old having a friendly relationship. What bothers me is the details you have shared about how concerned and apologetic he is if he feels he has crosses the line. This sounds very much like a sexual predator to me.
It is a bit unusual for a sexual predator to be looking at someone your age usually they want younger teenage girls. Then again not knowing what the fetish is he may need to seek out someone your age. Someone who is more willing to be sexually experimental or sexually open to fetishes.
I'm old enough to be your grandfather and if you came to me, which you have, with this question my advice would be as follows. This guy is throwing all kinds of red flags with me. I would suggest to you in the strongest possible manner that you break it off with him before you get any further involved with him. As I said above I believe he is a sexual predator and he is seeking to gain your trust. Once he feels he has your trust and confidence he will try to get you to meet with him. Meeting with him is a big NO.
Tell him flat out you have discussed this with others and they have advised you to end the relationship and you are. Then block him from your social webpage.
17/f
For a while now maybe 2 or 3 weeks I've had constant headaches. It's happened quite a lot before and it would last for months but it got better and now it's back. I wake up with a headache and go sleep with a headache. I can't even open my eyes properly because it hurts my head and my head feels really heavy. My neck starts hurting quite easily as well lately. I have blurred vision especially when looking at things like a projecter which is causing problems for me at school now. My eyes also have been twitching a lot lately and feel uncomfortable alot of the time. My headache usually ends up going into my ear as well or the parts surrounding my ear and sometimes into my left eye. I don't know of this can have anything to do with it or if it's just something else but I've also been peeing a lot lately for the past 2 weeks I've been having to go pee in every lesson at school.
I am not a doctor none of us are. Your symptoms sound serious enough that I would suggest you see a doctor immediately. Constant headaches are a sign of so many different things different things from simply needing glasses to far more serious problems that I hesitate to make a guess at what the problem is. The constant need to urinate may be nerves, may not be related to the headaches or may be something caused by the headaches.
Question; Have you told mom or dad about these headaches? If so and they have refused to take you to a doctor then my suggestion is to call 911 and explain to the call taker what you have told us and that you have asked to be taken to a doctor and your parents refused. If you haven't told you parents then do so immediately and tell them adviceman, a retired first responder, strongly suggest that 911 be called and you be taken to the ER.
I can't tell if what is bothering you is life threatening I don't think it is. But a condition that hangs on this long is serious enough to get you an ambulance ride to the closest hospital to be evaluated, have a C/T scan and maybe an MRI.
Your parents do not have to worry if you are not insured. There are programs to cover the cost for minors.
In the rare event your parents refuse to call 911 then you should call 911 tell them what you wrote and that your parents do not think this is serious enough to call 911. They will dispatch a paramedic ambulance and the closest fire truck as first responder to care for you until the ambulance arrive and the police. The police are sent to make sure the fire depart has a chance to evaluate you and if in the determination of the medics you need to go to the hospital that they get to take you.
Hi adviceman49, I'm the one who asked the question about ''kissed finally'' topic. I'm extremely sorry this is a long writing.
He's like a good friend. Both 28. He's got gf but don't say much about her plus he's got a 2 year old kid with her but he asks lot about my relationship and he knows that I'm not happy and I assume he's not happy either otherwise he would not be doing all this to me. He says to me you're making me falling in love with you, I'm trying my best to spend time with you when I get the chance. Last week, I've suggested to go for a movie and meal in few a days time and he has added we could go for a one night in a hotel including watching movie and meal so that we both could have more time together. Two days ago, He wanted to come see me at 2 in the morning on my break time at work while I was working night shift, I said have you lost your mind, he said that's what you're making me, he says he's falling for me. When we're kissing the other night I said I love you, he looked so delighted and he said he loves me too. He says he loves me because I'm caring, has good sense of humour, my soft skin and smell. He's all around good boy. Last night, I only said good night after the drink out he texted back and said why haven't you told me you love me, I said why always me first, he said he likes it when I say I love him. He also said, If it was only for sex he wouldn't be doing this much, he could have sex with anyone but he really like me. He says he wants to make love to me not a sex. I've asked him what happens if we get both serious he replied, if we get serious, we get serious. He's also possessive and controlling which I love coz I've never known that kind of guy before and my ex and current both are way too laid back. So, I like that about him. Controlling means he wants to know everything while I'm not with him, he would text and text. He just says he wants to see me everyday even though when he finish work at 2100 and I finish work at 19.30 he still would come to meet up in the restaurant for a late dinner. I asked him where is this leading, he says just go with the flow, you're complicating things. I've told him I'm thinking of breaking up with my bf and move out coz I'm not happy. I just think he's still with his gf because he's got a 2 year old kid with her for the sake. So, what do you reckon advicenan49? I'm not a hypocrite girl you know but I can't help how I'm feeling about him and he knows that, he says the same. Do you think he truly honestly loves me? Tells me, you're making me falling for you...what does he mean? thank you so much, adviceman49!
I'm not sure what to make of him. I do agree with him that there is a difference between just having sex and making love. Just having sex is how some people explain having open marriages or mate swapping. The y say its , "Just sex, like empty calories."
The gentlemen in me says he made a baby with this other woman and he needs to be there for that child. That does not mean he has to stay in the relationship. It does mean he needs to either stay in the relationship or get out before he starts other relationships. TO me at the moment he is no better than a cheating spouse.
Be very careful about falling for a controlling person. I understand what you wrote and there is a difference between a controller and the person you are looking for. He wants to know everything about where you've been and who you have been with. This will lead to him telling you where you can go and who you can see and like most controllers end up being a physically abusive relationship. What you are looking for is someone who is attentive, interested in what you do and the people you like to hang with.
My advice is to breakoff this relationship. Tell him when he has physically left his present relationship, something you need to verify, then you will consider dating him again but don't he is not a perfect catch.
If your not happy in your present relationship then by all means break it off an move on. You still have not said your age though I believe you are in your late teens to early twenties. You have plenty of time to find the right guy.
My family was in the direct path of Hurricane Irma and our power was out from last Friday until today. Before that we spent days and days preparing for the storm. My college administrators said they understand what students are going through, but the teachers obviously don't as they're still assigning all the work we missed instead of cancelling some assignments. For example I now have one teacher who assigned 6 assignments all due in one day. Others are assigning two weeks of work due within five days.
Now I'm so far behind with my homework I can't possibly get it all done and all of it was homework that had to be done online with digital textbooks so without power I couldn't do it. I already have mild anxiety, but at this point I'm only one assignment away from a major break down.
I don't know what to do. My teachers just seem to keep saying that they can't just erase assignments and need to have them in order to properly calculate our grade at the end of the semester.
Please help!
That fact that you go to school online has me believing you are a college level student. Should I be wrong the same advice I'm giving you needs to be taken by your parents to the school Principal and the Local Board of Education.
First calm down your not the only one with this problem and they cannot fail an entire class. It is my belief that the school just like the brick and mortar schools were just not prepared for the intensity of the storm. Most of the state will have their power back by tomorrow but there are some areas like the keys that may be out for another week. Allowances are going to have to be made.
What you need to do is contact each teacher and explain you were without power from this date until this date. You have his/her assignments and the others all do at the same time it is just not physically possible to complete them all let alone complete them properly.
Send that note to each teacher, the head of the department and the dean of education. Send an email to any of the students in your classes you know and ask them to do the same. I honestly believe this won't be necessary but doing so does two things. It will help you calm down as you have done something proactive. It will alert the administrators of just how many of their students are affected by Irma and what allowance they need to make.
Even is the school is out of state they are aware of the horrific affect of Irma and the need to formulate a plan to accommodate those students. My feeling is If they are an out of stat school they were caught flat footed and are still formulating that plan. If they are an in state school they need tome to get organized and put a plan in place.
I'm 21 and I really want to go to Japan for a semester before I graduate. I've been learning about China and Japan through Youtube videos for around 4 years now off and on and know a little bit of Japanese, but honestly not enough to have a conversation. However, I'd like to think if I immerse myself in their culture that I could learn more. I'm a Junior now at a University and found out recently they have a program with a college in Japan where you can go there to learn for a semester and use the credits from the college there back at my home university.
I really would absolutely love to do this, but I'm worried it may not be realistic. While they do guarantee housing and tuition, it looks like they probably don't supply a meal plan or anything else so I'd have to figure out transportation, shopping, health insurance, etc and that all sounds very expensive.
Currently at home in the states I work and pay for rent, a car I'm leasing, groceries, and insurance which is around $1500 a month altogether. I obviously couldn't just ignore these costs while I'd be away and would have to figure out how to manage both...oh I also have a cat so he would have to stay with family or something, which is a lot to ask for around 4 months.
So basically I would have to pay for all of that in advance and then pay for my living costs minus rent in Japan...I'm just not sure that sounds doable.
My parents are not on board with the idea at all and think it's a waste of time. I'll be honest, I do kind of agree that it's a waste of time. I have no intention of living there after college unless I found somebody to move with me and a great job. However, I would love to go for the multicultural education aspect and just to experience life there.
On top of this, the Japanese school checks for previous arrests and criminal records. I do have one arrest just from being stupid with friends two years ago, but I was offered to do community service to have the evidence dismissed and case thrown out since it was my first offense ever and I was deeply sorry. The arrest still shows up, but it shows up as the evidence and case being dismissed for completing community service on my record. Now, I'm not a bad kid. I was honestly just with the wrong group of friends at the wrong time and will never ever do anything that could get me arrested again. I learned my lesson and cut them out of my life. However, I don't know if Japan would see it that way since it was only two years ago. Also, I would rather my parents never found out about the arrest (they don't know) and I'm afraid that they would somehow if I were to go through with the application process and they were contacted to approve anything else on the application (such as an emergency medical contact or birth country). I just don't want to have to explain the situation to them and get in an argument since I took care of it all on my own and moved on.
I still really want to go to Japan though if I can. I just don't see it as being feasible mostly because of the financial matters. I figure I could always wait and maybe teach english over there after I graduate, but I would just much rather go in college and be with other college students from the states and in a school environment instead of on my own in an apartment.
What do you guys think?
Sometimes things just don't work out as we would like them to. There is an old saying; "If it was meant to be it would be." Meaning, if you were meant to go and study in Japan you would find a way to do so. From what you have written it does not look as this semester in Japan was meant to be; there are just to many obstacles in your way.
For the cultural aspect of touring Japan I suggest you look at different summer vacation trips you might be able to save for. Some of these trips may even be sponsored in part by the cultural office of the government of Japan.
If this is of any interest to you I would suggest you call the Cultural attaché office of the Japanese Embassy in any of the following places, Washington DC, San Francisco or New York. If your school offers a Japanese study course contact the head of that department as well to see if they have any tours going during the summer. Last id the Cultural Attaché does not have anything in the way of tours they sponsor ask them if they know of any travel agencies that do specialize in tours of Japan.
Trying to study and maintain a grade point average in a land whose language you are not fluent in will be much harder and probably will not allow you the time you want to tour the country. I believe your main desire to immerse yourself in the culture would be better achieved in touring on a vacation rather than a study program.
24/f
How do you know when you find a job that is the right fit for you? I originally wanted to be a counselor but because I didn't get into graduate school the first semester (I applied late and didn't get into the top 2 schools in the U.S.), I gave up and decided to go into teaching. Part of me thinks I went the easy route because I wanted a career instead of a "job."
I'm not happy with teaching. My first year I taught special education but I didn't like it, I decided to go into a general education setting. This job is harder but on a different aspect. I was told not to "jump ship" yet and to give it a chance before quitting.
Don't get me wrong, I love my students, but I don't love my job. I am not inspired to be there. I wake up dreading to go to work. I consistently hear about teachers or other people talking about how their job feels natural to them. What do I do? Do I give it time and WAIT until I fall in love with my job? Should I go back and pursue counseling (there's a "what if" on the back of my mind), what should I do?
There is an old say , "If you love your job you will never work a day in your life." It sounds to me like you are working very hard at a job you are not in love with. That makes for a very stressful work environment for you that you may unknowingly take out on your students in any number of different ways. You could be too strict or too lenient. You may not be as accessible as a teacher in the grade you teach needs to be and other ways.
I cannot tell you if you should change jobs of careers. What I can do is what I have done above id point out what being unhappy in a position might be effecting your performance which also adds to the stress.
I will also point out something else; how sure are you of the change you want to make? What is it about being a Counselor that attracts you. What type of Counselor do you want to be. Where I live in order to be a psychologist the state requires a PHD others require a Masters degree in psychology. Social Workers also require certain degrees in Social work. Generally a BS Degree will not qualify you for the position you are thinking of. Again depending on where you live and where you intend to practice you will need some form of advanced degree.
Certainly your undergraduate degree in education and your courses for your license will help in credits needed for the advanced degree. Still depending on what is required to practice you may need to invest two to five years in full time study.
My niece is a special education teacher. While she finds it very rewarding it can also be very frustrating. She chose special education even though she is a whiz at math and could be a high school math teacher. Public school teaching is not every teachers bailey wick. There are other parts of teaching and education that are just as rewarding and challenging as being in the classroom. Another possibility is teaching in a private school or Boarding School total different environment from public school.
I guess what I'm trying to say is look before you jump. Your teaching degree can serve you well in the corporate world as an instructor for different things companies need instructors for.
Look at the bird in hand and the opportunities it provides and those of the two in the bush.
If so, how can I increase my chances?
Serious answers only, please. I'll be applying next year with about 60 credits, 3.9 GPA, multiple leadership positions in extracurriculars, over 200 volunteer hours, but a mediocre high school GPA (from when I was a less serious student.)
I'm retaking the SAT and ACT, doing 3 SAT Subject tests, and will graduate from an associate's degree program with honors.
Let me know of any other advice to take to heart, too. Im most concerned about my mediocre high school transcript. I've learned a lot about myself and how to be a better student to achieve my dreams from community college and through much introspection. All I now have to do is convince schools I've dreamed of studying at for years. I will apply to a few safety schools, but I also want to do what I can to appeal to at least one or two notable schools. Not Harvard or MIT (until graduate school), but the two universities I named, Columbia, Northwestern, and the best state school where I live.
I'm interested in studying economics and math.
A lot has changed since my college days. It was, it appears, much easier back then to transfer from the Community College into the University system. It may still be as you will be entering as a Junior not a Freshman. Have you called the admissions office at the schools you wish to attend and spoken with them advising them that you are graduating from a community college and wish to transfer into there school. If you have not I suggest you do I believe it may be less intensive than you have written about.
Should you have to go through the same application process as a Freshman then what I suggest is in your essay you write about how you have changed . I particularly like this portion of your writing to us; "I'm most concerned about my mediocre high school transcript. I've learned a lot about myself and how to be a better student to achieve my dreams from community college and through much introspection." I would suggest you build your essay around those sentences.
Before you do all that I suggest you make the phone calls to the admissions office ad explain you are a transfer student not a freshman enrollee. I'm somewhat positive the entrance requirements are different. Your high school grades may become irrelevant.
We're friends. Like each other. We kissed for the first time yesterday after our dinner, while kissing he touched my boobs and sucked on my nipples. I couldn't help it. It was just natural. He complimented my boobies by saying they're beautiful. We just couldn't stop kissing and looking at each other, "I asked him, are you falling for me, he replies, you're making me" also, he wants to make love to me, he says and when I asked him back, you're only after sex, aren't you, he replies, everything." He also said, you've come to my life all of a sudden and this is all weird, but good weird he said. Now, what are his replies mean? What is he saying? Unluckily, he has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and he knows I'm not happy with my boyfriend. Has he fallen for me? I think I'm having a feelings for him. Is this all wrong? Many thanks!
It would help to know your ages and how your relationship started to give you the best answer I can.
In any case my first thoughts are to tell you not to jump into bed with him. I cannot say for certain if he is falling for you as in love or falling for you as in lusting. If he is falling in love with you then he can wait to jump into bed with you until. the two of you figure out where this relationship is going.
You have a boyfriend your not happy with and may be looking for a way out of that relationship. You may see him as your escape mechanism. That would be wrong. If you unhappy you should be able to leave that relationship without having another boyfriend waiting in the wings.
You did not say how his relationship is with his girlfriend is. If it is a good relationship and he is willing to give her up for you. Are you willing to hurt her in order to have him.
Before this relationship goes any further you must both be free to be come a couple. This is a discussion you must have before you go any further. You certainly should not jump into bed with him while he is still in a relationship with someone else. There is something else that you two need to discuss; friendships' are hard to make and easy to lose. A great way to lose a friendship is to have romantic relationship with someone. IF that relationship doesn't work out you not only lose a lover but a good friend as well. Something you both need to discuss.
Hello..
My question Is...
having sex in night can distrub your result in the pregnancy test that is going to be done in morning..
I'm not sure I understand your question.
If your asking if your waiting until you can take a pregnancy test and you have sex the night before? My answer is I doubt it would have any bearing. I would make sure your vagina is clean and no sperm could leak out. The purpose of the test is to check for certain chemicals in your urine will activate the strip. I do not believe those chemicals are present in sperm.
If your having sex tonight testing in the morning for pregnancy is wrong. Most test kits have you wait at least ten days. In any case look on the test kit box the does and don't are printed on the box.
He's on probation and got an assault charge for attacking a security officer in Texas. This isn't his first time being in trouble with the law. He is already in jail. How much time could he face for assault on a security officer?
The justice system is a bit different in each state. If the Security Officer is a jailer then it is possible this will be handled within the Jail. Depending on how serious the attack was, if the Security Officer was injured and how serious the injuries were the discipline could be anything from a loss of privileges for a period of time to solitary confinement . They could also add extra time to he sentence.
The other option is he could face another criminal trial in civil court . If found guilty what ever penalty is given would run consecutive to the one currently being served.
I wish I could be more specific but I am not familiar with the penal or Justice system in Texas. You might try calling the Warden of the prison and asking. IF you are a person related to him the warden may give you information as to what will happen and if there is a need for a lawyer.
I am 22 years old and Pete is 23, we both are 4 months out of college. We met my junior year and have been dating ever since. We broke up a little over a week ago. Things had been going downhill for a year though. Our first year together he was everything you could ever want. I knew he had a history of treating girls poorly (womanizer) but he was immediately committed to me. His friends said they have never seen him like that since they've known him. We had an amazing connection. He talked to me about everything, his dreams, his secrets, his feelings, his fears… He was in ROTC so talking about the military and his feelings about deployment were common.
One night, about a year ago, we got into a fight and he told me he was terrified of his feelings for me. He was sure I would "destroy" him. I tried to talk him down but I didn't hear from him for two days. When he came back he said he was sorry and that he loves me and wants nothing more than to be with me. But things were never the same. It happened sooooo slowly. First he stopped getting me gifts or coffee or doing cute little things for me. I would try to be flirty or fun with him and I would get completely shot down. The next thing was the texting and calling. His responses got slower and slower and shorter and shorter and then all of the sudden he just "didn't like talking on the phone". Even over the summer that we were long distance.
My senior year (his fifth year) he was always in a bad mood because all of his friends had graduated and he was incredibly busy. He wouldn't want to hang out and would use the excuse that it was my senior year and I should be "enjoying that time with my friends" which I totally appreciated but every once in awhile I wanted him to want to hang out with me… I knew things weren't good but they had happened so slowly and gradually that it was never such a huge shock that would make me say it was time to end it. I made excuses for him. He was tired. He missed his friends. He's working three jobs… He also made me feel crazy anytime I questioned his feelings. He completely stopped being affectionate, never wanted to have sex, and I honestly can only thing of three compliments he's given me in the last 6 months… But if I asked him what was wrong he would act like I was making problems out of nowhere or "being dramatic". He made me feel so insecure that I convinced myself I didn't need any of those things. That I didn't need to be complimented. I was secure in myself. I constantly wanted sex from him because I felt like that was the only time he was ever truly paying attention to me but he rarely wanted to do that either. That emotional connection that had been so great was gone. He said he just "doesn't let people in" but I had seen him do it… We had been there before. I felt like I was losing my mind. Was I making it all up? Is this just what happens after you date someone for a while?
Looking for post grad jobs we didn't try to be in the same city because we knew he would be stationed and deployed anyway. I have in been in one city and he has been in another 16 hours away for the last three months. We are both working full time. Things have just gotten worse. I felt like our conversations were so terrible that I wanted to talk MORE and he felt like I was "constantly clawing at him" for attention. He gets stationed in 5 months so I KNOW it is on his mind and that he is scared but he wouldn't talk to me about it. I didn't mean to be overbearing but I felt like I was starving for affection and love and emotion that I would start fights because I just wanted to feel SOMETHING from him. It finally hit the fan and he said he can't be in a relationship where the other person is so invested and he just doesn't feel that anymore. And even though I KNOW deep down that I wasn't asking for too much, now that we are broken up I constantly feel like I am the one that caused this to end. I feel like if I had just not asked for so much, had given him more space… We could have made it work. I fight the urge everyday to text and him say I will give him what he wants because I just love him SO MUCH. Has he messed with my head or did I really cause this?
This is not your fault in any way shape or form. If you need someone or something to blame then the blame rest with the 17 year war on terrorists. This probably won't make a lot of sense to you but I will try to explain what I think his problem may be or what his thinking is and it all hinges on his possible deployment.
When I was his age the Vietnam War was raging or to be politically correct it was called a Police Action. Some of my friends ran off to Canada, some married the first girl who said yes and some like me enlisted in their chosen branch of the military. For those of us who enlisted we fell in to two categories'. There were those ones who wanted someone home waiting for their return or to morn them and those of us who wanted no one but family waiting for us.
After reading what you wrote I believe your ex falls into the first Category; he doesn't want anyone waiting for him at home or to morn him. He made a commitment to ROTC most likely to pay for college and now he must give them the agreed upon service time. For whatever his reasons he feels his chances of surviving a deployment are not in his favor when statistically they are.
My advice is there is nothing you can do or say to change his mind especially living as far apart as you do. Have yourself a pity party then take my mother’s advice; "rebate you hook and go fishing again." "There are plenty of fish in the sea and there is a man out there looking for you. This relationship was not meant to be."
I was one of those guys who didn't want anyone waiting for me. I wasn't in a relationship in my senior year I dated around nothing serious. I had plenty of friends’ girls and guys to write to me and that was just fine. I was in the Air Force and chances of actually getting in a fire fight with the enemy was less then a Marine or Soldier.
As it turned out I was never stationed in the war zone my last duty station was just outside the war zone. I had no way of knowing that in advance. Six months after I came home I met my wife of 46 years and still going strong. For me it was the right thing to do and it just may be what he is thinking.
I started working at my job in may and to this day i dont know the total amount of what ive earned because my mom has been taking money out of my bank account. When i was 17 i made a bank account and my mom made it joint, of course i had no say cause i was a minor but im 18 now and i think i may remove her because every time i try to save up for something i go into my bank account and the money i dont spend is gone. Ive always asked her to stop taking my money cause whats the point of me working if i dont even get the reward which is the money and she gets mad and starts saying things like "fine ill stop but dont ask me to buy you anything ever again" basically trying to guilt me for even getting mad at her for taking my money without my consent what should i do? I want to take her off my account but obviously she would notice and my friend told me to make a new bank account without her on it but to make a bank account it would require documents that of course my mom has. Please help
It should it will really be up to the person at the Bank. If you don't want to learn to drive then get a passport. A passport is legal ID for travel or any other reason you need ID
There are not a lot of documents required to open a Bank account especially a savings account. Your 18 now legally an adult and you should be able to walk into the bank sit down with a Bank Officer close out the joint account and open a new one without any problem. They will ask for your drivers license.
If they ask any questions at all it will be to assure themselves the money in the account is your. Just bring a pay stub with you and if you have direct deposit the pay date should match to the deposit date.
Hi, recently we went out for a friendly dinner two nights in a row, just the two of us. Don't know if it's a date or a two friends having dinner. He knows I like him and I know he likes me too but we rarely talk about this matter as we're good friends. We have hugged after the dinner and he kissed my neck while I was sat on the chair he hugged from behind, very tight hug and kissed on my neck and ear area. We're talking and he tells me you're falling in love with me, I asked him, are you not feeling anything or don't you have a feelings for me then AND that moment he says I would be lying, 'if i didn't having feelings or if I didn't like you'. Now, what is the meaning of this line? Why would he say he would be lying....? Thank you all
He said, "I would be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you." In a sense it is a more positive way of say, yes I do have feelings for you.It really depends on were the two of you are in the relationship. Where you and he would like the relationship to go.
So many times you meet a guy and you like him. Your looking for a long term relationship. He is not really looking for any real relationship his feelings are more lustful but you have made it known your not getting in bed with someone who does not have feelings for you. It is easy to say I do have some feelings for you. In his mind he is saying; hey whatever she wants to hear to get her between the sheets.
For most of us guys it is easy to say we have feelings for you and not be lying if all we want is sex. To us it is more meaningful to say; we would be lying if we said we didn't have feelings for you for. It means we are looking for a relationship to. Its complicated because we know the lines guys use to get a girl in bed and if we are really interested in someone we don't want to use that same line.
Now I could be wrong its been 46 years since I have dated and the last time I used that line is to the Gal I married. It is what I felt that line meant then and I believe it is true today.
Hello! I am 23 and a new hire as a paraprofessional in a school district. My assignment for the year was a nine year old boy, so I am in an elementary school, of course.
This nine year old boy has begun acting out at the end of last year, he did not have a paraprofessional at the time so he was always leaving the class to go sit in the office because the teacher could not deal with him and the class.
Anyway, goals for this year are to keep him in class and make sure he gets his work done (he barely completed any work last year, baffling me as to how he even passed onto fourth grade but that is neither here nor there) but when he needs a break, we can go take a walk or do something the calm him down for five minutes.
Thus far, today was the fifth day of school and he has had one outburst on Monday through Wednesday whereas Thursday was a little more rough and I will touch on why I think that is in a minute. On Thursday, he forgot his assignment book at home so he got angry when another classmate teased him for forgetting it, thus meaning that he had also forgotten his homework for the day. So, he threw his backpack across the room. When I got him out of the room and into the hallway, he banged his head on the wall and started to hit himself in the head repeatedly, threatening his life that he did not "want to be on Earth anymore." Which brings me to today, Tuesday. Today he was SO good! He gets a point chart everyday and today he got 23/24 points and I was majorly impressed!
Now, back to why I think he acted out so much on Thursday. On Monday, he sees an out of school counselor for anger management. I think that helps him immensely because at the beginning of the week, he seems pretty collected but towards the end, Thursday and Friday, he seems to forget what he learned from his counselor and act out again.
I have also noticed that when I take him into the hallways so that he can have a break when needed, sometimes I ask him what made him angry or what it was that upset him and sometimes, more than not, he will tell me that he does not want to talk about it. So, I thought that I had this really great idea to have him write down why he is upset and I will collect his notebook so I know what his thoughts were but he didn't have to talk to me about it - I was so happy, I thought this was a total win/win. However, when I brought it up to him, he told me that the learning support teacher tried that out last year and it just made him more mad because it is combining his anger and feelings with his least liked subject, writing.
So, essentially this whole entire thing was to just ask you if you have any tips, tricks, ideas, anything that could help me figure out another tactic for this. I feel like when I take him in the hallway and he is honest enough to tell me that he does not want to talk about it, either a) because he does not want to get in trouble or get someone else in trouble or generally b) talking about it will get him more mad. I was thinking something along the lines of maybe notecards. Like, I could write on them "I feel" and then write a bunch of emotions and some reasons behind those emotions and make him pick out the cards that is correct for that certain time.
Anyway, thank you for reading that nonsense and my ramblings just for one teensy part to be a question! Anything you say or answer is totally appreciated and I will most likely use any advice given! :)
I take it this child is a high level functioning Autistic.
My one thought centers on what you said about his behavior in the beginning of the week as apposed to the end of the week. Your attempt to introduce different methods may be working contrary to what his anger management counselor is doing with him
I would suggest one of two things that might be helpful.
1.THis might require his parents permission. You need to know what happens I counseling so you can reinforce it and keep him on track with it during the week. I would hope the parents would allow you to do this for there son.
2. If that is not possible then it might be necessary that this boy have 2 day of anger management session a week until the boy learns the self-control to last the week.
Whatever you do to try and keep him in the classroom needs to be communicated to his councilor so he or she is aware of what your trying as well as how he is acting in class on a day to day basis.