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Kissed finally!
We're friends. Like each other. We kissed for the first time yesterday after our dinner, while kissing he touched my boobs and sucked on my nipples. I couldn't help it. It was just natural. He complimented my boobies by saying they're beautiful. We just couldn't stop kissing and looking at each other, "I asked him, are you falling for me, he replies, you're making me" also, he wants to make love to me, he says and when I asked him back, you're only after sex, aren't you, he replies, everything." He also said, you've come to my life all of a sudden and this is all weird, but good weird he said. Now, what are his replies mean? What is he saying? Unluckily, he has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and he knows I'm not happy with my boyfriend. Has he fallen for me? I think I'm having a feelings for him. Is this all wrong? Many thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It would help to know your ages and how your relationship started to give you the best answer I can.
In any case my first thoughts are to tell you not to jump into bed with him. I cannot say for certain if he is falling for you as in love or falling for you as in lusting. If he is falling in love with you then he can wait to jump into bed with you until. the two of you figure out where this relationship is going.
You have a boyfriend your not happy with and may be looking for a way out of that relationship. You may see him as your escape mechanism. That would be wrong. If you unhappy you should be able to leave that relationship without having another boyfriend waiting in the wings.
You did not say how his relationship is with his girlfriend is. If it is a good relationship and he is willing to give her up for you. Are you willing to hurt her in order to have him.
Before this relationship goes any further you must both be free to be come a couple. This is a discussion you must have before you go any further. You certainly should not jump into bed with him while he is still in a relationship with someone else. There is something else that you two need to discuss; friendships' are hard to make and easy to lose. A great way to lose a friendship is to have romantic relationship with someone. IF that relationship doesn't work out you not only lose a lover but a good friend as well. Something you both need to discuss.
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I am not going to tell you whether it is right or wrong because every person has their own thoughts or beliefs on what is right or wrong.
For some, it is wrong to be part of a couple, married or not and then have sex with someone else. People would call this cheating. However, there are many who still do this because it doesn't matter to them if their original partner is hurt or feels betrayed by that.
There is such a thing as an open marriage where both agree they want to take on a lover. It works for some, they remain a couple but the key here is they discussed it and agreed to it. There is also swinging or polyamory. If a person is single, there is no issue with them having many lovers but couples dating or married have to agree they both want to do swinging or polyamory. But handling more relationships is very hard. If a person has not mastered how to treat one partner, they can not do any better with more. Then there is the belief that we as souls are on this earth to learn something specific to ourselves in this lifetime.
The goal here is to challenge ourselves to do better every day than we did the day before and that means in all areas of life, personal to how you treat yourself and also how we treat others. The basic guideline that helps here is to use your imagination and picture yourself as the other person and how you would feel if the tables were turned. In this case using your situation, how would the current bf feel if you had a relationship behind his back. Now I know you no longer care about current bf but pretend its a guy who you do like and he starts doing the same thing as you are doing with another gal, saying the same things that were said to you, admiring her breast and playing with them.
I am not saying sex is bad. It is a wonderful thing. It just doesn't fit into the catagory of a free-for-all. So one needs to take into account whether anyone is going to be hurt. While talking about hurt, yes it hurts to have someone break up with you. Is that why you have not broke it off with the bf you don't care for? For what purpose are you staying with him? All I can think of is money...like he provides the place to live and use of his car and without that, you'd be in a tight place. Other than that, I see no reason to stay with someone who is incompatible or mean or whom you simply have fallen out of love with. You are not married. Dating is not like marriage where you are stuck with the one person. If a great person, you're glad to be stuck with them. However too many think dating should be treated as if they made a life long commitment to each other and stay with someone who is not right for them. If worried about hurting his feelings by breaking up, hey its part of life and regrettable but this kind of hurt is eventually gotten over with time. However, the kind of hurt a person feels if they feel cheated on by someone they assumed is still with them because they love you, then they will be horribly hurt. The idea here is that you put on a good act and the bf may believe you are still committed to him. So being with another guy, allowing it to go as far as it already has will seem like a betrayal. Some people of course may read all this and see nothing at all wrong with doing whatever they feel like doing cus its their business and no one elses. However, You did write in here. Did you really want to here whether it is the right way to treat someone else? Are you still planning to do what ever you want without regard to how it affects anyone else? If so, there is nothing else I can say but go at it. Eventually, whether a person believes in God or not, life is going to bite you back. What you sow you reap. Yeah the bible teaches that and it holds true whether you believe it or not. If you want to take that chance and wait to see what bad things come your way perhaps in the future, then you need to nothing but just continue on your merry way doing what you've been doing. If you believe in the golden rule which is found in all beliefs and religions of the world, just put into different words, then you would agree to 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matt. 7:12) and you wouldn't even have to ask others what to do and if this is okay, if you lived by that belief.
I have no idea what this guys thinking having a girlfriend and coming after you. If he also no longer wants her, he should also break up and become single because he is not currently and according to the golden rule, is veering just as far away from it as you. But then perhaps he doesn't live by it, maybe you both have never heard of it. But it is for real, not making this all up. You think you have feelings for him. Humans are capable of being attracted to more than one person at a time. Just because one is attracted to another does not mean you must interact with anyone and everyone you find yourself attracted to. There is attraction of differing types whether for their personality only, or attracted to them just sexually, or lastly attracted to the whole package meaning personality and sexually. I don't know if you have heard of this next concept but it involved self control. I have heard it used in describing one person having a partner who is handsome or gorgeous but still attracted to practically every other person of the opposite sex they ever meet. If the one in question has made a commitment to one person to date, go steady, be engaged or married, then only that one partner should be yours to enjoy, not a whole lot of other people. The concept is to use some self restraint and not even approach or try to get something sexual going on with anyone else. A wife is certainly going to hope her husband is going to remain true to her. However, life isn't neat and known. It's very unknown as to what can come in the future. A person may be committed to the love of their life but someone else practically throws them self at you and wants sex. That is a good example when the husband would say, sorry hon but I am married and am committed to remain faithful to my wife. Gals even want that from boyfriends which by the way, your male friends gf probably is expecting him to remain faithful as well. A male who is checking out the goods elsewhere while supposedly committed to another is a player and definitely not someone to take seriously. I would not even want to begin to figure out what he meant by everything he said and did. Maybe it is best if you continue on this path, get your feelings hurt real bad and learn the hard way. Theres only two ways to learn, from other sources, books, people warning you or from going through the terrible experience yourself. Yeah , well, some don't learn from their mistakes but lots of us do. If you choose that path, it isn't wrong to learn by experience and get used, its called the 'school of hard knocks' that kind of experience.
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