Question Posted Saturday September 16 2017, 11:01 am
Hi adviceman49, I'm the one who asked the question about ''kissed finally'' topic. I'm extremely sorry this is a long writing.
He's like a good friend. Both 28. He's got gf but don't say much about her plus he's got a 2 year old kid with her but he asks lot about my relationship and he knows that I'm not happy and I assume he's not happy either otherwise he would not be doing all this to me. He says to me you're making me falling in love with you, I'm trying my best to spend time with you when I get the chance. Last week, I've suggested to go for a movie and meal in few a days time and he has added we could go for a one night in a hotel including watching movie and meal so that we both could have more time together. Two days ago, He wanted to come see me at 2 in the morning on my break time at work while I was working night shift, I said have you lost your mind, he said that's what you're making me, he says he's falling for me. When we're kissing the other night I said I love you, he looked so delighted and he said he loves me too. He says he loves me because I'm caring, has good sense of humour, my soft skin and smell. He's all around good boy. Last night, I only said good night after the drink out he texted back and said why haven't you told me you love me, I said why always me first, he said he likes it when I say I love him. He also said, If it was only for sex he wouldn't be doing this much, he could have sex with anyone but he really like me. He says he wants to make love to me not a sex. I've asked him what happens if we get both serious he replied, if we get serious, we get serious. He's also possessive and controlling which I love coz I've never known that kind of guy before and my ex and current both are way too laid back. So, I like that about him. Controlling means he wants to know everything while I'm not with him, he would text and text. He just says he wants to see me everyday even though when he finish work at 2100 and I finish work at 19.30 he still would come to meet up in the restaurant for a late dinner. I asked him where is this leading, he says just go with the flow, you're complicating things. I've told him I'm thinking of breaking up with my bf and move out coz I'm not happy. I just think he's still with his gf because he's got a 2 year old kid with her for the sake. So, what do you reckon advicenan49? I'm not a hypocrite girl you know but I can't help how I'm feeling about him and he knows that, he says the same. Do you think he truly honestly loves me? Tells me, you're making me falling for you...what does he mean? thank you so much, adviceman49!
The gentlemen in me says he made a baby with this other woman and he needs to be there for that child. That does not mean he has to stay in the relationship. It does mean he needs to either stay in the relationship or get out before he starts other relationships. TO me at the moment he is no better than a cheating spouse.
Be very careful about falling for a controlling person. I understand what you wrote and there is a difference between a controller and the person you are looking for. He wants to know everything about where you've been and who you have been with. This will lead to him telling you where you can go and who you can see and like most controllers end up being a physically abusive relationship. What you are looking for is someone who is attentive, interested in what you do and the people you like to hang with.
My advice is to breakoff this relationship. Tell him when he has physically left his present relationship, something you need to verify, then you will consider dating him again but don't he is not a perfect catch.
If your not happy in your present relationship then by all means break it off an move on. You still have not said your age though I believe you are in your late teens to early twenties. You have plenty of time to find the right guy. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
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