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**** I've been gone quite a long time. However I'm still breathing though it's touch and go. Don't expect me to answer or check in much. ****

Welcome to the junkdrawer that is my brain! I know something about many things, and I if I don't know it, I admit that I don't know. That I am constantly finding things I know nothing about and correcting that ignorance keeps me busy and happy. More junk for the drawer.

I love and have experience with many types of animals, including the human. I don't offend easy and I am generally cynical and a smart-butt. I love to drive, read, work on the computer and I spend WAY too much time watching Anime and bidding on ebay.

advice

When I was 8, my grandfather died of cancer. It is now 6 years later and I still am extreamly upset about it. I was very close to my grandpa, I always remember him joking around with me. He'd always tap me on the head when I wasn't looking and then I'd turn around and he'd be looking around pretty much making it obvious that he did it. He'd always give me money even if I didn't ask for it and he was just a very happy grandpa. The night I found out he died, I was devistated. I was in my room listening to music and I heard the phone ring but didn't think much of it. My mom called me and my brother into her room and she told us to sit down. She looked a bit shakey but I still didn't think much of it. She held my hand and looked at me and said Papa (that's what we called him) just passed a way. And I looked at her in disbelief. I was in too much shock to even cry. Once I started crying I coudln't stop. I fell asleep crying, I woke up crying and I cried for the next 4 days straight. This happened six years ago and I'm still upset about it. Everytime I go to my grandma's house and I see his pictures I cry. Can anyone help me? It's been 6 years and I'm still not over his death. Please help.

Your Papa sounds a lot like my Papaw. We had the same kind of joking loving relationship. I lost my grandfather 6 years ago too, but I knew he had cancer. I stood at his deathbed with one hand over his heart and the other petting his hair and telling him I love him and that it was alright to stop suffering now. He died like that, with all his girls around him and one of his sons on the phone telling him goodbye. As hard as that moment was on me, I know that's why I was able to grieve over him and find myself again so quickly. Part of your problem is something called closure. Your mother told you he was gone, you didn't witness it. Somewhere in your heart you want to believe it's not true. That he's still there with you, but he's just out of reach. I don't know what it will take to help you come to terms with his loss, but try visiting his grave. Talk to him there and tell him how you feel and how much you miss him. I have never felt the need to visit my Papaw's grave. I told him everything I needed to tell him before he passed. You never had that chance, maybe it will help. Big Hug!

My house smells really bad.. like dogs. How do i get the smell to go away? I've tried air fresheners like NeutraAir and Febreeze and Oust but none of them seem to work. Is there an INEXPENSIVE way to get my house clean- and fresh-smelling? I'll rate 5's for everyone who tries 2 answer!

Shampoo the rugs. It costs to rent the machine, but it makes a load of difference. Keep the dogs bathed at least every two weeks. This also helps. I wouldn't try carpet fresh becasue it is bad for your dogs' lungs. Luck, I have 6 dogs right now myself. It takes work to keep the house up to sniff!

Okay... Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 months... it will be 3 months on the 6th of january..! Well see my friend and her boyfriend have been going out for not even 1 month and they have already kissed (tongue) and held hands and more! Me and my boyfriend have kissed but it seems that we are never alone because of this girl that likes him... she is always there, she won't just leave me and him alone for just a little bit! What should i do? it is bothering me so much that my friends are afraid of me breaking up with my boyfriend over this girl always being there!

If you want to kiss him, kiss him. The little interloper may finally get the hint and leave the two of you alone. And tell your boyfriend to get some balls and send her away. This isn't just your problem. He needs to take a hand in the solution as well. Luck and Love!

I live in an apartment building. I wanted to do laundry last night, but all 6 of the washers were being used. Two were no longer running so I decided to come back 20 minutes later.

When I did, the machines were still full of clothes. A little mad I decided I would come back in a while. When I came back, all the machines were off, but full of clothes, including the same two that had been off for almost an hour. And the dryers were open, so it is not like they couldn't use them. I got so fustrated, I just decided to not to do the laundry. This has happend before as well.

Is it acceptable to just remove other peoples clothes from the machines? And if so how long should I wait before removing them? I know it's kinda rude, but so is hogging the washing machine.

Speak to your building manager. Posted rules for the laundry room should be placed in easy to read areas. That they do not have these policies is causing problems in the building and must be rectified. I would personally put the cloths in one of the empty dryers. In my college dorm we had a 30 min. rule enforced by the office workers. Even if you don't have someone to enforce your nieghbor's behavior it will help resolve any arguements that may come of washer hogging in the future. Good Luck!!

Whats up everybody! I smoke weed and love it. But i want to quit. They say weed is not addicting, but if it isnt, then how come i can not quit? I love it so much. But know it will get me nowhere. So how can i quit? Or should i not quit?

They lie, hun. Weed is VERY addictive and hard to stop. You are also correct that you won't get anywhere letting it rule your life. I know a guy with the most awesome talent with guitar and voice, but he can't keep anything together. Every 20 mins or so he needs to go smoke a joint. Total waste, plus his girlfriend walks all over him. Anyway, there are lots of public health sites that can give you information on quitting. Most states have a mental health department that includes treatment programs for people interested in quitting drugs. Make a few calls and see what's available in your area. Good Luck!

Dear Advicenators,
One and a half years ago my brother *Henry* was diagnosed with hemophilia, which means that his blood does not clot normally. If he gets a cut, it's really hard to stop the bleeding. If he loses too much blood, he could die if the blood is not replenished.

Henry and I always liked to spend time together (he's two years older than me). We'd ride bikes to the park and shoot basketball hoops. He couldn't be too active, but he was my best friend and I felt safe around him.

Anyway, he lost a lot of blood one day, and was taken to the doctor for another blood injection. The horrible part was, that the person who had donated that blood was carrying the AIDS virus. The doctor proclaimed that Henry now had AIDS.

Henry is 15 years old, is in diapers, and must be fed through an IV or a tube. He has about 4 months left to live. My entire family is sad, and angry about it. My parents must monitor him all the time, so I always have to get a ride to my volleyball games. All three of us never have extra time, because we are always there for Henry and when he must be hospitalized. I had to drop out of volleyball for him.

Henry has been the butt of the jokes from the kids at school lately. They make fun of the fact that he has been in diapers. They are unaware of the fact that his brain is slowly being devoured, and he can't feed himself. The AIDS is tearing the whole family apart. But luckily, my friends are there to console me, but I always feel resentment towards the cruel kids at school. Can I please have some suggestions on what to do about that?

Anyway, as I am spending my last Christmas with my brother, I have no idea what present to give to him. Could I please have some ideas? I want it to be special and something he'll remember when he goes to Heaven.

Also, how can I comfort / cheer up my parents? They have been having lots of mood swings lately and have been very stressed.

Any input and prayer would be great. Sorry about the length.

First off, BUG HUG AND LOVE to you and all your family. #2. Ignore the assholes who are too immature and frightened of the pain you are going through to show any understanding. It is a sad fact of human nature that we try to make things that frighten or confuse us become the butt of jokes instead of facing our fear and trying to understand the horror around us. Like your parent's mood swings, this is a means of self protection. I know it hurts you to hear what these idiots are saying, but there is really nothing you can do that will not get you in trouble. #3 The gift.... My heart is bleeding for you in this. You don't want to remind him of what he can't do, but you need something that shows him how much he means to you and always will. The only thing I can think of is a photograph. Maybe to two of you on the bikes or playing ball? Tell him this is how you see him when you look at him, not the sick boy you're having to say gooddbye to, but your bestfriend - your big brother.

#4 This is the most difficult time in a parent's life. Their children are not supposed to go first. Having you near, accepting their bad moods and their sorrow is the best you can do right now. Grief is a long hard process that burns through every emotion, love, anger, denial, hatred, self-pity, blaming others, anger at the passing loved one, the world, the doctor the situation that caused the injury, themselves for the genes that placed him in danger from a bad transfusion, themselves and you for living when he cannot. It can take years to go through before a person can reach acceptance and a bit of peace. Only time and lots of couceling will put your parents on a road to recovery. RIght now, just tell them you love them and be there if you can. You need to allow yourself time to grieve also. Don't forget that!

You and your family are in my prayers and I will have you placed on the list for my work and church as well.

Again, BIGG HUGG!!! AND ALL THE LOVE I CAN OFFER!!

Will a yeast infection go away on its own or what can you do to get rid of it?

No, a yeast infection will not go away. Monostat 7 or another over the counter prep will help, but if the problem persists you must go to your gyno. A yeast infection can become so severe that you could need hospitalized. If you've had this for a while, go to the doc anyway.

I just got braces a few weeks ago and my ortho told me that I would get them tightened every 3 months. But when I talked to all my friends who have had braces, they all said that they got theirs tightened every month. So my question is, what is the normal amount of time that is supposed to be between getting ur braces tightened? Is it one month or 3 months? I really want my teeth to move fast because I hate my braces and I want them off ASAP, so if I tell my ortho to tighten them more often (once a month instead of once every 3 months) will my teeth move faster? I think that maybe my ortho said I would get them tightened once every three months so that i would have to wear my braces longer and then he would make more money. (we pay him every month I have my braces on) Sorry this was long and confusing. Please help i'll rate 5's!

Every mouth is different. A doctor decides when to tighten based on what problems your teeth present and what the goals of your treatment are. I wouldn't rush what your doctor plans for you. The results of your braces depend on him going at the pace of your mouth's needs. Plus the faster the teeth are moved the more likely it is that once the braces are off they will shift out of place. In the long run you will have much better results than your friends. Luck!

Ever since I started taking taekwondo, my back has been hurting a lot. I'm only 15/f and I don't want a bad back at this young of an age and I don't want a bad back when I am older. And I would never quit taking taekwondo, I love it so much and I am trying to get my black belt. Any advice on what I should do? Thanks in advance.

Chiropractor! At your age it is very important to see if you have scoliosis, a genetic poor curvature of the spine. It causes all kinds of trouble with how your back muscles react to stress and new exercise. In later life it can make your life a living hell. (Personal experience talking here.) Get it checked out. It can be effectively treated at your age without major surgery. Even if it is not scoliosis, a chiropractor can help keep you in your best condition. I started going to one year before last, and I don't know how I survived this long wihtout one! Luck and kick ass, Sweetie!

me and my ex dated for 4months...not a long time i kno but everything was perfect we were totally in love and i realli had faith in our relationship well we broke up in august and i still havent found sum1 that makes me truly happy like chris did. my friend mentioned that i should date her exbf but now she changed her mind and doesnt want me to date him. i respect that because he is her exbf and stuff but she did kind of have my hopes up on finding someone who would treat me right and stuff. i dont kno lately its been goin through my head to just give up on a relationship right now because im only 15 but another part of me wants to keep looking. should i give up for now or keep on looking? i just dont know...~!~xoxo~!~nichole~!~xoxo~!~

Live your life Nichole. Don't worry about b/f g/f stuff right now. Concentrate on fun and school and friends and hobbies. If guys come into the picture, great, but don't go out looking just to be looking. Relationships have a strange way of coming together on their own. Luck and Love!

My boyfriend and I have been together for around 3 and a half months. I really like him and he says he feels the same but we never talk. He acts like all he cares about is seeing how far he can go with me. When we are not hugging or kissing, we just stand around not talking. We just never have anything to talk about. I don't want to break up with him because I really like him but our relationship is based on physical contact and no emotional support. So what should I do?

You know what the answer is. Physical contact is not a basis for a lasting relationship of any kind. Without communication you will be miserable very quickly and there will be nothing to keep him or you from straying. Dump him. Dump him. Dump him. You WILL find a better relationship. Luck and Love!

So I've been preparing fish a lot lately...but haven't ever had to thaw it. Now I've got to thaw it...and I can't remember the best way to do it. Sound silly? It is. I won't use the microwave...because I just wont. I know my mom usually thaws chicken in a tub of luke-warm water...but does that work effectively with fish? So how should I thaw this thing? Thanks.

Yes, the water works. That's how my dad does it, but also overnight in the fridge will work if you have more time. Running warm water works best if you're in a hurry. The microwave will ruin it. Good luck!

I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I love his family to death. Since he's away at college they invite me to visit them alot and I stop to see his mom at work whenever I go to the mall. I have a problem, though- I got his Christmas gift and everything, but should I get something for his family? His mom seems like the kind of person that would get something for me, but I would feel really bad if she did and I didn't get them anything, and I bet she would vice versa. He has an older brother, a younger brother, a sister, dog, and mom and dad. They're really nice to me, but I'm lost on the dating/present etiquette here. Should I get them something, and if so, what?

I'd get a single item that the whole family can enjoy. Right now you may not want to get too personal, and the family is large. Try putting together a gift basket with little things in it each person would like. Little dollar store items that remind you of each person and even the dog. And a video store gift card that they can ALL use, Almost like a stocking. They can have the fun of bickering over who gets what. And the gift card ensures that the gift isn't too cheap. It will show you took time and caring into the gift.

I don't understand this. I've been studying Psycology for years, yet I don't get why I can't fall asleep. I was diagnosed with Insomnia when I was 8. This isn't Insomnia. When I lay down to goto sleep, I get scared. As if something is in the room with me. Last night I went to sleep and I felt something behind me. I've been having this problem for 3 months. My doctor said it's normal, that it's just Anxiety, but I CAN'T goto sleep. What should I do?

Clonipin. This will help you get through this rough patch. You won't have to be on it forever. Sometimes anxiety is triggered by things we don't recognize. You may be having night terrors or other bad dreams that your body is trying to avoid. This can create the paranoia you are feeling before sleep. Talk to your doctor and tell him that this is interupting your life. Ask him about Clonipin. I knew someone who needed both clonipin and trazadone due to stress and PTSD to keep his night terrors at bay.
Good luck!

I'm a 24 yr old girl...and I met this great guy at a bar a few weeks ago and since then everytime I'm out, no matter where I am, he seems to be there. (Like it's meant to be?) Well, I went over to his house after leaving the bars twice. The first time we just hung out, we didn't even kiss... and then the second time we went a lot farther then that. I think he's wonderful and I want him to like me for me even though everytime I see him I'm pretty wasted.. I want to keep talking to him and I don't want to ruin things because I feel wierd and don't know how to act because I went too far with someone new.. but I really like him, I think he's so perfect... what should I do?? How should I act???

Important first step - cut down on the booze. All a guy sees a boozed up girl for is sex, and you don't have the brain cells active enough to control your labido when the wrong guy hits the right pressure points. Instant female love toy. (Too far with this other guy.) Once you dry out a little and actually talk to the man he may cozy up to you better. That he controled himself on your first hang out session puts him in a better light than the average bar hopping guy. But putting a drunk woman in front of the common male is like waving a red flag at a bull and will earn you no respect in this man's eyes. Dry out, and try again. Luck and Love!

what would you do if a 16 year old guy asked you out and you were 13?

I laughed in his face.

ok me and my best friend have been friends for like a year. she transferred to our skool 2months into the school year during our freshman year. well when she first moved here she still dated her this guy from her old town which is only like 20miles away...maybe less. well they broke up and no its been like 9months since they broke up and lately she has been sayin that i should go out with him. from what she has told me about him he sounds like the kind of guy i would date and i think we could be good together but she is my best friend and i dont kno whether i should date him or not. i mean there is the best friend rule..no dating ur best friends ex...idk i have brought it up to her and how im afraid if i date him it will hurt out friendship but she insists that it would be fine bc she wasnt in love with him and she thinks he and i would be good for eachother and stuff. i just dont kno wut to do....plz i need sum serious advice on this one... ~!~xoxo~!~nichole~!~xoxo~!~

OK, the rule when I was your age was, no going after your bestfriend's ex, unless you have approval. This is usually because emotions are hard to handle at that age and relationships never seem to end... Everyone is still up one another's butt in school. I think you should go on a date with him. If your friend acts any differently toward you afterward, talk to her. Decide then if you want to continue dating the guy or not. Don't throw away what she's offering you and him. It is healthy that she has gotten over him enough to see the two of you would be compatible. Go for it! Luck and Love!

well I am a 19 year old female who has been in a relationship with a guy for 4 years. I feel i am insecure about myself and constantly feel myself feeling and thinking that i am not as pretty as the girls that he sees. I have become controlling because i tell him he cant look at other girls and he can not have girl friends. I feel if he loves me like he says he does then why does he need to talk to other girls. I do not like him to work with pretty girls because i am afraid that he will flirt with them and not tell me. I get angry when he stares at other girls. We are constntly fighting. Is this all my fault. How can i stop being so scared that he is going to leave me for someone better. Even though everyday he says he wont i still get scared. And when i even see a pretty girl i say she is ugly so he wontlook . i know we care and love eachother so much . i do not want us to fight we are getting married soon please help my problem stop

Sweetheart if the two of you are planning on getting married you both need serious couples counceling. Your insecurities will ruin not only this relationship but prevent you from building the sharing and trust you will require to make a marriage work. What can be accepted in a girlfriend cannot be tolerated in a wife. You will have too much control and too many resposibilities that rely on trusting your partner. Plus he needs to understand how to help you overcome your problems. No relationship is perfect and BOTH partners must constantly work to provide the support the other needs. This will not happen if both partners don't understand from the beginning what will be needed from them. Luck and Love, Sweetheeart!

I can never have a good day at school. I have alot of frieds but being that i have to get up in the morning i get cranky and when i get cranky i am just really quiet.. i know you'll tell me more sleep.. besides that what else could i do? because i sleep from 10:30-7:15

You get plenty of sleep. You just aren't a morning person. I'm not either. I drink Diet Mountain Dew to help perk me up, but the crankyness hangs with you anyway. Accept that this is who you are, and push through your silence. Make an effort to talk more. You'll babble nonsense in the beginning, but it gets better. What you have to do is trick your brain into thinking you're in a good mood. It's hard to start and it takes practice, but it can be done. Somedays you just won't make, but don't be too hard on yourself. Another thing, realize that the people around you aren't as annoying as they seem. Part of that is your crankiness wanting to make those around you suffer as you are. Try not to give in to this. It will strain friendships if it's a common occurance. Good Luck!

ive been dating this guy for awhile now and were not b/f and g/f but neither of us has been seeing anyone else and only see each other and when im with him hes the sweetest guy in the world and when we go out he shows me off and is always like "thats my baby :)" but at school we dont really see each other except like b4 1st period and during one period change.. and each day i walk past him like seriously 1 foot away from him and no one would be able to tell what we have between us.. and i want to go up to him but i dont know if he wants me to.. cause i dont know his friends and im worried that hes afraid what theyll think of me and him.. but i dont know cause its as much my fault as his that we dont talk at school.. i once asked him if he was mad that i never come up to him and he said no its okay.. some of my friends just say hes shy ( which is true ) and hes not trying to like push me away and others say it sounds kinda suspicious.. but i dont know.. is he ashamed of me or is it that were both too shy to walk up to one another when the other is with friends?

Indroducing someone to your friends at school is as big a step to many people as bringing them to meet your parents. Since you don't call yourselves girlfriend and boyfriend this sort of introduction would take the relationship to another level. Kinda making it official g'f b'f thing. Talk to him about it. Ask him if he'd like to introduce you and ask if he'd like to be introduced to your friends. He may not be ready to take this new step, or he may just be waiting for you. Either way, he sounds like a nice guy. Just talk to him. Luck and Love!

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