Hey!
I live in Canada and I'm teen. I've been through a lot of stuff with my friends over the last few years and I always try to give my insight into their problems (sometimes even when they don't really want it lol).
I've realized that over time I have accumulated a lot of questions about moving on, so if you have a question about that, lay it on me!!
I don't think that ratings matter, and that you should choose someone to trust your question with, that will answer it with care, but show you what the world really is and wont sugar coat it.
I hope you guys find my advice helps, hope to talk soon!! :D
Angie
E-mail: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 16
MSN: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Member Since: September 9, 2006
Answers: 465
Last Update: February 20, 2010
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So, I don't have a boyfriend, to be honest not any guy friends. I only talk to guys if they break the ice but still then it is only the necessary answer or statement that will get me out of talking because I know if I go on then I will make myself look stupid infront of him (and a lot of times I'm like that with girls too).
Once you get to know me I'm outgoing meaning my friends tell me I'm funny. I can keep a conversation going with a friend but never with anyone other than that. I feel like an outcast because I'm so shy. I don't know how I have friends because I don't talk to anyone very often. Well I can but it's REALLY HARD!
I want to know how to be outgoing to get guy friends and boyfriends but I'm so shy it gets in the way. My resolution was to be more outgoing (it isn't working). I don't know what to say to people so telling me to just talk to them and see what happens WILL NOT WORK!
THANKS SO MUCH>>>>>more answers the better! (link)
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Hey! You sound exactly like me! I have the exact same problem. EXACTLY. So I'm going to be hypocritical but I'm going to try it too okay? Well have to tell you a quick story first, when I started high school this year and I signed up for musical theatre. I LOVE musical theatre, but I got there and didn't know anyone. So I was sooo uncomfortable. And everyone was like you'll make friends, but I was too scared if I acted weird or outgoing, everyone would think I was weird and it was at school so I was thinking, oh god I'm going to have to know these people for like at last the next three years if I make a fool out of myself and they see they'll tell someone, or they just wont want to be my friend, so I didn' make any friends, and I' going back next year with out any friends, so I decided I either have to take a new approach or have to find some other people to come with me.
Kay. So you called this boyfriends, friends and shyness eh? Well assuming you are like me, you want a boyfriend someday right? Probably sooner than later if possible. Well I think you just have to wait it out. It sucks but you don't need a boyfriend and most of the time they just get in the way lol. I don' have one either, but like I said I'm just like you when guys talk to me I'm like... uh oh. So I think that you figure out how to conquer your shyness and then get a boyfriend. And if anyone ever tells you that it' weird that you'e fourteen and you don' have a boyfriend yet, tell them I'm fifteen and I don't have one either! (That's actually happened to me and I wanted to punch the girl who said it to me. She was like I'e had boyfriends since I was in the fourth grade and I was like, great who cares?)
Second paragraph, again, I swear you'e describing me. As if we are like totally identical eh?
Okay, now before we get over our shyness, you need to know something, (I just learned about it yesterday!!) There are personality types that define who is shy. But shyness and the personality type do not HAVE to go hand in hand though usually they do. So There are two different variations of this personality type, extroverts, and introverts. Extroverts have lots of people in their life, but few good relationships, and introverts have few people in their life and almost all of those are very good relationships. So what you have to understand is that these aren't really things that you can change. You sort of have to make the one you are work for you. So you are an introvert (most likely) so what you have to do, is try and get more people to be your best friends. Now to solve paragraph three. You made a resolution to be more outgoing, so what we have to do, is go to a class with people we don't know. People who don't go to our school, and we probably wont see ever. Then we have to force ourselves to make friends. It will teach us the skills to make friends and teach us that making a fool of ourselves isn't the worst thing in the world. Then we need to take what we learned and apply it to our school friends. We need to try and take initiative and be the first to talk to guys. Guys can be clueless, so we need to take the first step. Go up to one in science and ask them a question. As you do it, think: "I'm pretty, I'm smart, why wouldn't he want to be my friend" and give him a ravishing smile of yours and he'll remember it. Show off your humorous side and show everyone that you can be outgoing and have fun.
Shyness is something that is hard to get over, and we both will have to work on it, but if you want to get a resolution solved it takes work right? Well lets both try it out, and let me know how you're doing later this year kay? Hope I helped a bit (and didn't sound to hypocritical) good luck, and remember you don't need a boyfriend to be awesome! And your friends don't make you the person you are, you do! Love ya,
Angie91
(if you want to let me know how you're doing or just want to compare lives LOL, I'd love it, princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com)
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i'm about to tell someone something i'm sortof nervous. how can i relax while staying in this room? (link)
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Well in that room is tough, but if you can stay in the house it's alot easier. Try taking a bubble bath, or making some tea, but if you have to stay in that room, then light some candles, put on some light music and lie down.
Try and think of things that make you happy and give you peace. practice what you are going to say, and write it down, that wil make you less anxious because it will keep you less stress and make you more confident. Call your best friend and read it to her, or read it to a teedy bear or your pet. Close your eyes and think of something that would be fun to do later this weekend. Do something calm that doesnt stress you out, like writing a poem, or knitting. I hope I gave you an idea, good luck with what you have to do!
Love,
Angie91
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15/f
recently i feel like no matter what i do, life screws me over. my one friend got mad at me for drinking, so i stopped; but she still doesnt talk to me. my best friend that i used to do that stuff with now only hangs around her new friend, and my oldest friend is now suicidal, anorexic, and bi- which i don't care about but it sometimes makes me uncomfortable. i have other friends at school, but i'm not as close with them ... like i wouldn't make plans with them on the weekends. so now i basically stay in every weekend and get more unhappy. i tried concentrating on schoolwork harder, but its just gotten me more stressed out than i was before. i have also tried looking forward to events that i had planned before, like my sweet 16, but now that my social life is such a much i don't even want to have that. to top it all of, the anniverisary of my cousin's death is coming up which makes me even more sad. i act happy in school and i still try hard and i try to make the right choices, but my life turns out like this- why bother? i feel like transferring schools or something, but this isn't an option... ANY hints on how to feel better/fix my social life? thanks :/ (link)
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Wow. I can't even describe how I feel right now. This must be so hard for you. I honestly do not know what I would do with out Saturday night out with friends.
I think that it is very important for you to either build up the friendships you have started and find people to hang out with Saturday nights or make some new friends. I'll be honest, it wont be easy. But we can work this out. Trust me okay? It looks like you've been through a lot of tough stuff lately. But we'll figure out a way to fix this up a bit.
First dealing with the friend. I'm proud of you for stopping drinking. Because drinking is a depressant, and it makes had situations worse. So whether you get through all of this or not, please keep sober okay? Now to deal with the friend. When you're a teenager, you love conflict (I know because I'm the same age as you) and you want to do whatever it takes to fight with someone. So what you need to do is become a big person and apologize. I don't care if you think you did anything wrong or not. If you write her a letter of apology and tell her you made mistakes but you hope she can forgive you, she just might. If not, then think of it this way, she cant accept you for who you are and you aren't perfect but she expects you to be, so you don't need a friend like her who is always bringing you down right?
Now the friend who ditched you for her new best friend. Tell her that you are really sorry that she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore, and that you wish your friendship could last, but you are sober now, so if she doesn't want to be friends with someone who is trying to take control of her life, then it's her loss. You don't need someone who will tempt you with drinks, or who knows what else as she gets older. But if she still wants to be friends, then that's good, she may not invite you over all the time, but she's still your friend and she'll still be around the corner when you need to talk right?
Now the last friend, she sounds like she's going though some tough stuff right now as well, and I think that the last thing you should do is get the hell out of there, because it will hurt her more. I'm sure she's lost so many friends lately, so if there's only one thing you can do, it's be supportive. Be the friend she can call at two am when she needs help, even if it makes you uncomfortable, if something makes you uncomfortable, your first instinct is to avoid it, but in this case, try your hardest to be there for her.
So now we have to deal with the staying in every weekend. We either have to get you a reason to get out of the house, or we need to give you a reason to stay in. It just occurred to me today to advise people to do volunteer work. I was so shocked when it came to me that I was like why didn't I think of that before. I use to volunteer at a place near my house that helped special needs kids and I got to work with this one girl. I will never forget her. All I did was read her stories every Thursday afternoon, but I honestly fell in love with her the first day I worked with her. And I think that that will bring up your social stuff and help you to feel like there's a reason to go out on a Friday night other than just the movies with a friend.
Or you can join a club, a class or a team. Try and meet as many new people as possible and think of things this way. Maybe you don't usually hang out with someone like them, and maybe your friends don't like them but beggars cant be choosers right? So make friends and be open to anyone.
Get a job. I don't have a job yet, but I baby-sit the little girl behind me. I love hanging out with her. She gives me another thing to think about and she reminds me of myself when I was six. I only make like $2 and hour, but I don't really care because it's something to do. And if that's all you're looking for, then try that.
Now say you completely fill up your schedule with sports, clubs volunteering and a job, but you still have an open Friday night what do you do that makes it worth wile to stay home? Why don't you make those nights special. Make them "me" nights. Give yourself a funny face mask, paint your toenails, light some candles read a great book, rent a funny movie, write a poem, listen to soft music, watch a soap opera with Mom, paint a picture, clean your room, take a bubble bath, play with your pet, make yourself a warm cup of tea, and cuddle up with a teddy bear and a blanket.
Unless you're failing, or you have grades below your expectations, make weekends homework free. Try and find a way of working on projects during the week. Homework always puts a downer on everything. So try and work on that some other time, and besides you'll be filling up your weekends right? If you eliminate the stress of school work, you may realize that there are other reasons you are anxious. So how do we distress? We find ways to get our feelings out. I do this by writing (but some people find writing to be a chore, so find something that makes you happy not upset) just pour your feelings out and if you do write, then you can document your life, or something else, like a story. Something that makes you think of other things than stress. Try and get more sleep, you can always use more sleep. I found out the other day that sleep is like the bank, and you can get in debt, so think about trying to get as much as possible! Eat right, and try to forget about your worries and find other things (than stress) to think about. Looking forward to things is great, but sometimes if it just gets you more upset, then set a goal, and then try to achieve it, or I have another idea. Say you like purses (Sorry but that is sooo me) pick out a price range, say $35 and everyday put a quarter in a jaw and draw picture of a purse or pull one out of a magazine (it doesn't have to be one you want) and hang it over the jar. Every day put in that quarter know that sooner or later you will be able to get that purse. With each day that goes by you will get closer to it (yeaaa!) and it will give you something to look forward to.
Now your cousins death. There are two ways to move on. One is classic (well I've used it a lot) take a bunch of balloons and write something you loved about your cousin on a pieces of paper and attach them to your balloons. Then let them go into the sky. Watch them blow away and it will let you let go. Then go to the pet store (ask your parents first though okay? Cause my Mom would kill me if I impulse did this) and buy the cutest little animal there. A rat, a guinea pig, a rabbit, a goldfish, whatever sets you off (do this even if you did the balloons, and do this even if you have a pet already). This will help you to move on. Because all that love that you had for your cousin can go into your new friend. And hey, Saturday night with my rabbit doesn't suck either. I know it sucks, but I'd suggest to keep acting like you're happy (as long as you are getting your feelings out somewhere {ie a diary} and not holding them all in) because if you start acting suicidal (or something), then your friends might get scared off and then you'll get further off from your friendship goal.
I know it feels like life is hell right now, but trust me, it will get better. I promise. But it wont if you give up. If you need ANYTHING else let me know. And also, sometimes, just having a friend who knows what you are going through right now helps. So here's my email if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here and I wont judge you. I just figured because we're the same age and I can relate that you might want to talk to me, but if you don't want to that's okay, I'm always here if you want to talk, And if you have any more questions, just ask! Lots of love, I hope I helped!
Angie91
Princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
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My best friends have just started going out. The guy's name is andrew. I dont think i ever liked andrew, but i am insanely jealous of the girl, mary. I might just be afraid that my friendship with them will weaken, but im afraid that it might be more. I'm afraid that I like Andrew. (link)
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Okay, well sweetie, I think you just answered your own question. That's okay though because you asked for advice and I'm here to give you some. Jealousy comes for so many reasons. There are probably even more possible reasons for your jealousy, but jealousy (contrary to popular belief) is not a bad thing. It's an emotion, that's like saying happiness is a bad thing and no one should be happy. Or grief is a bad thing, no one in the world can be sad. And again, using sadness as an example, usually what happens is you are sad for a reason right, say your boy friend dumped you. Then you get in a fight with your brother. Then your best friend ditches you for her boyfriend Saturday. So you break down. Well jealousy works the same way. You're jealous of Mary because she has a boyfriend and you don't (?). You're jealous of them because they are so happy together when you aren't (?). You're jealous of your friends because they have someone to hang out with Saturday night now. What about you? Where do you fit in? Do you want to be the third wheel? No, so you get jealous. (don't worry, we all do). Your mind naturally tries to find a way to fix this situation and tell you why your jealous, because it doesn't like loose ends, and it doesn't like being confused by this situation, so it tells you you're upset because you're afraid you'll lose them and you like Andrew. But are those the real answers? Do they even relate to the jealousy? They could be (and probably are) two totally separate issues that just involve the same situation. What do you think?
Your mind is trying to find solutions for this, so it says that because you like Andrew you have to be jealous of Mary. So it's one issue. But wait! Do you like Andrew? Or do you just think you do because you are jealous of him and Mary? Wow I feel like I'm in a soap opera! And you're sitting there thinking whoa this girl is insane. Well the truth is, you're the only one who can figure all of this out. So the first thing you have to do is figure out whether or not you like Andrew. Chances are you probably just want what Mary has, and she has Andrew so you want Andrew. Well actually you don't want Andrew, (unless you decide that you do, if that's the case then ignore this next part) you want a boyfriend (unless you have one then you should spend more time with him, or break up with him because you don't like him enough or you probably wouldn't have this problem) and that means that you need to start finding someone else to think about besides Andrew. Now this is something that's tough, so I'll give you an idea, this is for people who need to nip a problem in the butt. Every time you think of Andrew (in any way other than your best bud) write it down. Like draw a ticky mark on your hand on your school book or you calendar, and at the end of the day add them all up. Then for everyone you wrote down put a quarter in a jar. Then when you're over the problem, donate the money to charity. Pick something else to focus on, (another guy) and think about them, every time you start to get jealous of Mary and Andrew. Pick a guy in Math class and obsess about him. What was he wearing? How did he do his hair today? What colour are his shoes? Figure out a way to keep your mind off Andrew. And then, if possible, find a boyfriend (it doesn't have to be the obsessing guy). It will give you even more to concentrate. But if that's not possible, try and find a better way to get people off of your mind. Volunteer, join a club. Anything to keep yourself occupied. If you do that. Eventually it will all work out and you'll stop being Jealous and find peace.
Your friendship will not weaken, and we'll work on the Andrew thing, but figure things out and try and find a way to get over him if you like him, and get over your jealousy if you don't. I'm sure you're an awesome friend and I hope that you can make sense of all of this and find a way to figure this all out. Good luck, and I hope I helped. Love,
Angie91
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I'm really bored.I like to try new things and start fun projects like combining archietecture,photoghraphy and sculpture into a single art work.I just want to have fun.Please could you think of something fun for me to do.Any suggestions are appreciated. (link)
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I woke up this morning and I had three questions in my inbox (let me tell you that was a first) and I was super excited. I looked at the first one and it said that it was about guys. Then I looked at the second one and it wasn't really a question, more of a comment on a question I'd answered before. and Then yours. well I went out today, and I thought about your question all day.
To be honest, I love architecture and design and I said for years that I wanted to be a graphic or interior designer. But then I shocked everyone when I didn't take any courses this year in graphics. But I know exactly what you are feeling. I hate being bored. It drives me insane. I have a really creative... I don't know background I guess. I always pick out stupid little things and criticize them, but I am way more into writing, so that's what I do when I'm bored. I don't really have any painting experience or anything so I don't know how to create projects. But I think that if you go online there are probably a lot of contests in that area. But if you don't want to get competitive, then why don't you try to talk to your art teacher. Or if you aren't in an art class why don't you join one? I know that that is one thing that I always wanted to do, but give me a paint brush and I have no idea what I'm doing. I made a macaroni picture with a little girl when I was babysitting last week and that was my true shinning. My Mom put it up on the wall. LOL! But you know your talents, so you have to find a way of expressing them. You can take a class, or you can go to a craft store and browse around. Talk to the people who work there and see what they say.
If you want to do some photography, you could try and find a project that will make a gift for someone. Say you baby-sit the girl next door, and she her parents anniversary is coming up. Why don't you take her to the park and take a bunch of black and white pictures of her playing? Then make a scrap book or something else for them as a gift. Or make a collage of your friends. Or make a film that showcases your friend's birthday.
If you like architecture, one thing that we were going to do in my graphics class last year that we didn't end up doing was building a 3D house out of this like foam core stuff and it was a really cool project I really wanted to do. That would be a really great thing to put into your portfolio if you decide that you want to be an architect one day.
Sculpting, you could like make small sculptures of all of your friends. And then showcase them one day.
But as far as designing a project for yourself that is combining all of those into one, I don't know if I'd be able to figure something out like that. I'll probably think of something like a year from now lol and it will drive me mad.
If you go to the library and look through some magazines on architecture then you can see what kind of projects inspire you. I'm sure you are super creative, and you don't need me to come up with a fantastic project for you, you can do that by yourself! I know you'll think of something awesome if you think about it a bit. If all else fails and you just need something to do, then draw. Whether you're awesome, or you're like me who can't draw anything more than stick people I know you'll find something awesome to draw and keep the creativity flowing. If you keep your mind working and your left brain inspired to work harder, then you will be able to think of something eventually. Things that work the left brain are things that involve doing things out of the ordinary. Have you ever played with a little kid and realized that you have totally lost your imagination? That happens to me because I don't use my imagination as much anymore, but if you do things spontaneously and make up things that totally dont make any sense, then you'll work on your left brain and you'll be able to think of these things that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. And keep things like music and reading going on in your life as well. And if you really want to work on idea making, listen to classical music, though it's boring and not very much fun, it stimulates the mind (like reading) and helps your mind to work harder.
I hope I helped to either spark some ideas or help you find a way to spark your own ideas. Thank you so much for asking me this question, and good luck finding something to occupy your time. And remember, you can do anything you set your mind to. So even if you think that it's something that will never happen to you (like writing happened for me) it will if you want it too. Just try and find your way outside of the box. And don't conform, because that's the least creative thing you can do. So keep the creative juices flowing, and I wish you good luck in following your dreams! If you ever need anything else let me know! Lots of love,
Angie91
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hey my name is danielle and i went out iwththis guy for about 10 months. i reli loved him and we didnt end things on the best note but it was needed. he lied to me and there has always been a problem with his ex shes the reason we broke up. they got togetehr after us but now they are broken up and i reli think that i will never ever get over that its been 6 months since we have broken up and i still lvoe him i was with this other guy recently liek going out and i had to end it because iw anst beign faire to im because i loved guy #1. i dont know wat to do i reli love him and i feel we shoudl be together maybe not now but later and i kno that we both think about eachother its one of thsoe relatinships that u just know.and weve been throough alot and i dno. wat shoudl i do. iw ant to get over him but i cant. i cant talk to him about it because then he will feel like he has my emotions inthe palm of his hand. id ont kno wat to do?!
thanks so muchh! (link)
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I know ending relationships is all about who is moving on faster, and who has all the control. But you need closure in order to move on (from anything). It doesn't matter if he has moved on (which he hasn't, he took the easy way out and moved back... to his old ex, so that was kinda not moving on,) so don't feel bad if you aren't ready to date a totally new guy yet. And don't feel bad if you had to break up with guy #2 because you weren't ready to date him in the first place.
So you need to get some closure somehow. There are a lot of ways for you to do that. You should start trying to write your feeling down. By doing this, you can express your feelings, and realize your mistakes and efforts. Then if this situation ever occurs again then you can find a way to change the way you react. I got into the habit of writing in my journal everyday because it helped me to work out all of the problems that I am having in life. It also is a memoir showcasing my triumphs and helps me to realize what I did wrong to enforce downfalls. So I would defiantly recommend doing that. Every night might be to stressful, but every second night or once a week even. It helps in so many ways. And you don't have to have the traditional "Dear Diary" entry do what feels right.
Or you can write a letter. Write out a letter to guy #1. Don't sent it. Just write what you would like to tell him. Then fold it up and put it in a drawer, and one day open it up and correct it. Then type it up and mail it to him. It will be a total shock. But you will be able to look at it the second time with opened eyes. You can decide whether or not to say certain things, but you can still show him how you felt. It will also help you to organize your feelings.
So whether or not to talk to him about it. I don't think you should talk to him yet. You can if you really feel like getting out. But I think that you probably should just try to keep your space and move on.
So I guess you want some moving on tips eh? Well I have a few good ones, but if these don't work for you, try them, then say they don't work, don't say they don't work and pass them up because sometimes things look horrible on the hanger, but you try them on and they rock right? Sometimes you just need that nudge to do them.
One thing that seems pretty classic is getting involved. Usually I suggest a club or a sport, but for some reason, I want to suggest volunteer work for you. I'm not sure why, and it may sound horrible, but I think you should trust me. Helping people will give you that same feeling guy #1 gave you, but for the right reasons. I don't know if you are an advicenator, or if you are just asking me a question, but if you are, then you know that feeling when you give someone that help they need. So I think you should go out and support a charity. Or work in a retirement home. Or help special needs kids. Plant a garden. Sing in a church choir. Work at a daycare. Run a charity drive at school. Whatever inspires you. But try and find something to give back to the world. I don't know why I've never suggested that in a moving on question before. But I think you should try it.
Back to clubs though, it lets you meet new people, and make friends (maybe even meet a new guy when you're ready) and try something new. Break out of your shell.
Make a list of everything he did that drove you mad, or he thought was stupid. And go out and do all of them. Say you told him you wanted to see a movie, and he said that he thought it looked stupid. Go rent the movie. And even if he was right, who cares? You tried something you wouldn't have if he was still dating you.
Take all of the things he gave you, and put them in a box (or give them back to him if they're something that's his and you haven't returned it yet) and add up all the possible money he might have spent on you. Say it's like a ring, a shirt, a necklace, guess how expensive they were, and go spend that money. Sure you may have worked super hard to make that $60 or whatever, but spend it anyway (this is the ONLY time I will ever advise someone to spend money randomly) but you should do it, because it will make you feel good to buy things for yourself. Buy that new scarf you wanted. Or that new purse.
Spend as much time with your friends as possible (but don't talk about guy #1 it's not nice and you'll regret it!!) take them to a movie or bake cookies on a Saturday night. Pick out a movie just to laugh at and find the best possible way to have fun.
Lastly, find a new obsession. I know that sounds really stupid. But pick some random guy in math class and obsess about him, think about him at night, think about him on the bus to school. Think about him when you're bored. He doesn't have to be anyone you'll ever date. But it will fill the space you tried to fill with guy #2. And you weren't ready for a relationship. But everyone's ready for a make believe one right?
Good luck, and I hope you get over guy #1. I really hope that I gave you the advice you needed. Thanks for asking me! And if you ever need anything else don't forget to ask! Please let me know how this turns out. Again good luck, and lots of love,
Angie91
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We did end up going to the dance together and it was a little bit akward but i never onvce asked him dance i let him do the asking and he did
i like your help you gave me on how to move on it was all the truth thanks
do u have a myspace or facebook? (link)
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No, actually I don't but I have MSN, it's Angie91_23@hotmail.com. Or you can email me, at Princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com. I'm glad you found my advice useful, and thanks for responding like this it was really nice of you. Hope we can talk again sometime, love ya,
Angie91
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There is practically a phobia for EVERYTHING... so is there a phobia for like if someone is scared of bug poisons/insecticides/ant killer/bee spray/etc.? (link)
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let me check.
Iophobia- Fear of poison
I scanned pretty quickly and that was the only one I found. This was the website I used, if you want to look again, and I think they have some seacrhs if you want to describe the phobia. If you were just curious I would still recomend going to it it's pretty hilarious. There's this huge long word for being scared of long words. LoL. Anyways:
http://phobialist.com/
Sorry I couldnt find anything better than that. Good luck, and I hoped I helped a bit.
Love ya,
Angie91
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15/f
This guy used to like me about three years ago. I was ridiculously stupid and immature back then, so I didn't act on it. I even thought it was gross that he liked me. But after I rejected him, I started liking him. And I haven't stopped since.
My interest in guys went way down, and I started questioning whether I was straight or not. But now I'm starting to realize that I think it's just been because I've liked him all of these years. I haven't had any classes with him since he liked me, and I haven't even talked to him since. I'm also A LOT different and more reserved now than I was then, so I don't even think he'll like what I am now. I don't even like what I am now, which is not attractive to guys, I know.
What do I do to either a) get him off of my mind, or b) get him to notice me?
I only see him pass me in the halls and such.
Thanks so much to whoever read this whole thing. I'll rate 5 to whoever answers.
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Well here is what you need to consider. You have to pick one of those options before any of this advice will help.
First thing that I am going to say is that you arent "not attractive to guys," no matter how you look, some guy will like you out there. And looks arent everything, it's your attitude, so if you feel that you are going through a slump in your attitude areas then you need to think about what your good and bad traits are and express your good ones, and single in on your bad ones so that you canfix whatever is fixable.
As far as the guy problem, He probably has moved on, but chances are if you've moved on and tried to become a better person, then chances are he's matured as well. He probably has moved onto a place in his life where things are different and his perspective on things is also different so why don't you try to figure out if you are ready to be with a person like him, or maybe you need to work on some self esteem issues (that you may or may not be having, I don't know you, but we all have them sometimes, so maybe that is what is effecting your decision) and wait a little bit longer until you feel better about yourself and are confident enough to ask this guy out.
Whether he will go out with you or not wil depend on a few things. He liked you and it took alot of courage to ask you out, then you rejected him. Answer this question okay? Did you reject him the way you would want to be rejected or in that immature way you were talking about before. Because if you did it immaturely then it's probably not a good idea that you ask him out, because he'll just try and get revenge and end up hurting you. So what you should do then, is tell him that you are sorry for acting that why and playing with his feelings, and then get over him.
How to get over him, well for everyone that needs MOVING ON TIPS Here are a few:
Join a club or sport, this will alow you to make new friends (meet new and possibly date-able {boy and girls}) as well as work on self esteem issues that everyone has.
Go to away games with friends. Watch a sport that you want to get to know more, and meet people who are also interested in the game. As well going to away games lets you meet people you don't see at school everyday and get to know other people.
Don't let what (s)he said get you down. It doesnt matter what they said. You'll find someone better, and only when you're ready. Just because they have a new date doesnt mean you need one.
Whether you date the person you are getting over or not, it doesnt matter it can still be just as hard to get over them.
Surround yourself with friends and family as often as possible, and write about your experiences. Use creativity to express your feelings. Try to find closure by writing a letter to him/her and telling them how you feel. If you are moving on from something other than a relationship (such as death or something else alike) try buying a bunch of balloons and letting them go to symbolize letting them go (this does work for relatioships, but usually you dont need to go that far, ~!this may be the case for you, because if you ar trying to get over the chance of being with him, then releasing balloons can help you get over him!~)
- also, sorry for writing all of those tips so generally, but people have been asking me for moving on tips, so I thought I might kill a few birds with one stone, hope you don't mind.
If you want to get him to notice you, then you need to come you and say something to him, it's as simple as that. Tell him what you told us, that you made the mistake of rejecting him, and talk to him about how you have matured and changed. See what he says.
For the most part, the decision is all yours, but you have to listen to your heart and decide whether or not to take the step to ask him out or not. I hope that I gave you some ideas about what ou have to figure out. But I hope that you will rate my advice for what it is. I am not on this site to get all fives, and I want to honestly know if this is great advice or if it sucks and I need to fix it for next time. So please respond to this advice with feedback that is accurate. If I get a 5 thats great, but if not, I don't mind as long as it is fair. Good luck with ______ and I hope that you can make the decision that is right for you. Hope I helpped.
Love,
Angie91
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K. Where to start? Well, I had known my ex-boyfriend for about 3 weeks before he asked me out. We went out for 2 weeks, and even though he was a shy and inexperienced boyfriend, I was completely happy with him. Anyways, he ended up breaking up with me after his friends had been pressuring him to do it. He also found out he would be moving a city away and felt that he couldn't handle a long-distance relationship.
Anyways, instantly after he broke up with me, he got really jealous. He would see me hanging out with other guys, and he would get so jealous that he'd make up stories of hooking up with girls to get back at me. In fact, he avoided me completely for awhile. Then, this past weekend, I ran into him and we ended up talking for hours. He got really flirty and for the past few days has been talking to me a lot and acting like he did when we were going out.
I still like him ... but I don't want to get hurt again. I was just wondering if anybody thought they could decipher his intentions, and if so -- if I should consider taking him back or not. (link)
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Well you have to decide whether or not a log distance relationsip is a good idea or not. It probably isnt a good idea. But if you think you can pull it off, then you need to think about wether or not you would want to get hurt again. Because theres probably a 99% chance that he will hurt you again, because he gave into his friends pressure the first time, so he will give in again. And even if he doesnt, then theres probably a good chance he will hurt you anyway. But sometimes you have to way the good and the bad sure it may mean that you get hurt and break up again, but if you don't take a chance you will miss out on so many good things. So you can hide from hurt, or you can take that chance and be with him. So figure that out.
Then figure out why he's jealous. Is it because he thinks you are his property, or because he misses you. Because if he thinks you're his property and you shouldn't be with anyone else becasue you are rightfully his, then that's bad, but if he is just acting out because he misses you and thinks he's an idiot for breaking up with you, then you should talk to him, because mayeb he wants you back for the right reasons.
All in all, I think you should talk to him. He obviously is acting out for some reason, probably because he wants you back, and wether or not you want to get him back is the thing that you need to decide. We can't decide for you. You just need to listen to your heart and do what you think ti right. Good luck, and I hope I helped.
Love,
Angie91
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when doctors say that you should have your period every 28 days, does it mean from the day your previous period stops to the day your next period starts? or does it mean from the day your previous period starts until the day your next period starts? (link)
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I'm pretty sure it's start to start, but it can be a different length for every person, so if it's twenty eight days from the begining of one to the end of the other then thats fine too (or vice versa when it's longer in between). Most peoples cycles last anywhere from 25 days to 35 days. And at first it's usually super unusual. So it might not be the same length your entire life.
Hope I helped.
Love,
Angie91
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I Am 16 And I Have A Boyfriend And I Love Him ALOT!!! Lately It Seems Like All I Can Think About IS Doing Stuff With Other Guys! However When I Am With My Boyfriend Or Talking To Him...I Dont Have That Problem! So What Exactly Is Going On Here... (link)
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Well I think you are probably satisfied with your boyfriend, but you wonder what it yould be like to be with other guys. Then when it comes back to be with your boyfriend you realize that you only want to be with him. It's perfectly natural to wonder what it would be like to be with other guys, and guys do it all the time so it's no big deal. It's nice when your boyfriend has all of the elements you want in a guy but thats quite a rare situation and as humans we often want more. As long as you are just looking around, then everythings fine. Have fun with your boyfriend. Hope I helped!
Love,
Angie91
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My fished died and I wondered if I should bury him in a Nike box or a Mizuno box?!?!?!?!?! (link)
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Well it depends on the size of the fish. It's probably fine just flushing it down the toilet. But if you think it's too big to do that, then barrying him isnt a bad idea. Make sure that the box is biodegratable though, and don't forget to mark the ground where you barried it. If you have a garden in a few years, that would be really weird to dig it up, so put a stone over top of it or something.
Hope that answered your question
yours,
angie91
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Alright ive heard from my friends that one of my guy friends is gonna ask me out. I dont see him like that at all though, and i dont wanna go out with him but i feel so bad turning him down cause hes really nice and i dont want him to be mad at me for it. How can i let him down easy? (link)
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Wow, this is a toughy!
Don't worry, it's okay to see him differently than he sees you, I doubt he'll be angry with you. He might be alittle upset though.
When he asks you out just tell him that you think he's a great guy, but you don't see him like that, and you just dont think it would work out between the two of you. But remember, he had to work up the courage to ask you out, so when you tell him your answer make sure you take his feelings into concideration, and let him down gently. Hes going into this expecting the best preparing for the worst, he'll deal with it. But remember to try and have things planned to talk about next time you're alone with him, so it isnt awkward.
Good luck, I hope I helped.
Love,
angie91
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i broke up wiht my bf and everytime i see him i regret it and now he has a new gf and he sitll tells me he lvoes me and i love him too but ijust dont wnat to go through all the pain(of us breaking up) again if we do go back out. adn i can not stop thinking about him!!!! (link)
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Dating is to try new things. To meet new people. To make memories through new experiences. I think that you should try and move on. He has. And I think that youre right, if you go back to him, then you are going to have to go through all of this again one day, and getting back together would be hard, and awkward, because he's seen someone else in between. I also think that the reason that he is dating a new girl is because he is trying to move on, and that means that it's probably time for you to move on. (if you need moving on tips let me know).
You need to figure out why you broke up with him in order to stop regretting it. Even if it was for a stupid reason, it was important to you, and your heart felt the need to end it. Luckily you listened to it. And thats what you need to do now. Listen to your heart, and if you think that you reallyl should be with him, then go back to him, but I think it will be less complicated and better if you try and find someone new to make memories with. If you try someone else in between then maybe going back to him will give you an insight. Good luck and I hope you keep your feelings in mind, as well as logic. Love ya!
Angie91
I can answer your moving on question, if you ask me directly. PLease do, heres the link: http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=angie91
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how do you stop loving someone? (link)
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well that depends on a lot of things. Sometimes it comes naturally, sometimes it takes months or years. Depending on how long of a relatioship you had with them (or if at all). If you had a long thing with him/her, then it takes closure and you have to move on with your life. You can do this, by talking to your friends and expressing your feelings. Surround yourself with great faces and try to get out of thinking about him/her. I know its hard, but think of someone else, and try to concentrate on other things. Try and develop a crush on other people, or concentrate on schoolwork or something alike. Theres not much else I can say/ advice if I don't know more about the situation, but if you want more specific advice feel free to ask! Love ya
Angie91
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16/f
okay theres these 2 guys who are pretty good friends. Andrew (16) and Scott (15). I liked both of them a while back. One day Scott told me he liked me, so i figure andrew didn't since they're good friends and all. Scott is like one of my best friends, but i still wanted a relationship with him. So i tried to make things work. Scott is not allowed to dat until he is 16. So we've had to secretly go on dates. I'm starting to get a little tired of it always bein a secret. We've been going out for almost 3 months now. Yesterday night, Andrew told me he liked me. And has for a really long time but couldn't tell me becuase of Scott liking me. The things is, is that i really like both of them, and i don't wanna screw up their friendship. It would be wayy easier to date Andrew, but i like both of them. What should i do?
oh ya, scott won't turn 16 until April, I turn 17 in March. (link)
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Well, thats really tough, because theres going to be competition between the guys and stuff, soI'd talk to Scott. Tell him how you feel about Andrew, and how theres less of an age difference between the two of you, and it's not that Andrew is any better than him, you just don't think you should be going out with him, when he's not aloud to date. Tell him that you still want to be friends, but you don't think hiding your relatioship is a good idea. Tell him, that you think he's a great guy but and you wanna stay friends, but that it's just too complicated.
Then talk to andrew, and tell him that you talked to scott, and that you two should try going out, but make sure he knows that you love scott (as a friend and if so, more) and that if anything comes between the two of them then you'll just get out of the picture, and if you're comfortable doing that then everything should be okay. If there are problems, then maybe you should try finding another guy to go out with that wont cause conflict between his other friends. It's important to realize that guys are really territorial, and maybe wait on going out with Andrew for a couple of months, but dont break up with Scott until you know Andrew would be willing to wait a bit. because theres no point breaking scotts heart to end up seeing Andrew dating someone else.
I think that my advice may help, but ultimatly, it's your decision, and it might be tough, but you've got to sort out your feelings and do what you think is right. If you think that you owe it to scott to keep dating him, then maybe you ought to keep your word and continue dating him. But thats up to you to decide and no one can choose for you. Good luck, hope it all works out without too many hurt feelings. Love,
Angie91
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So im kind of in a process of talking to my ex boyfriend again,we are both kind of scared but im truly in love with him and he still holds back a bit.Today my best friend took a step and called him and let him know that she didnt want him to play with my feelings and she asked him what he felt for me,he told her was still in love with me and what really holds him back is the respect my parents lost for him and he feels that there is no way to get them back.I still have hope and i want him to have hope too but i dont know what to do to let him know,i dont know what he can do so my parents can at least give him another chance.I feel that if we still love eachother there is much worth to fight for but how is my question?how can i motivate him to,what can we do...what can i do too so i can show him again to my parents without my parents killing us both.Please help
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Well I dont know what he did to lose their respect, but you need to talk to your parents. Tell them how you feel and talk about whatever happened. Tell them that tou are thinking about going abck to him, and ask them how they would feel if that was the case. If they say that they wouldnt feel right ask them what he could do to fix it. Then talk to him and tell him whats going on. I dont think that you should let your friend talk to him about it anymore. (I know she means well and stuff) It is important that if you and him are going to work things out, then it has to be just between you and him. If you're in love like you say, then you shouldn't have any problems with talking it out. If there is something your parents want him to do so he can gain their respect again, that is just too had (or impossible) then just be his friend. Or, that might not be a good idea if it makes you too hard to get over him, if thats the case and you need to move on, then thats what you should do. Listen to your heart and do what feels right. If you need tips on moving on let me know.
I think that the most important thing to do is keep the lines of communication open, between you and your parents and you and _____. Talking is the best way to get things done. Good luck, and I hope everything works as bestas possible. Love ya,
Angie91
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im 14 and my name is danieelle i was with a guy for almost a year. we both thought we were in love and we broke up about 6 montsh ago. im still in love with him although im with soemonelese i recently tol my boyfriend that i do like himk still and i will never forget the guy of a year. he said that it was ok and that we coudl work it out. he insisted taht we try but ididntw ant to hurt himlater on. we ended teh conversation by me saying that i guess we will see hwo it goes. im nto sure if tahts wat i want and i feeel im just procrastinating it. he is very sweet and i would never wnat to hurt him he tell me he loves me and i believe it and i told him thatits hard for me to "love" right now but that i liekd him alot. first question is what should i do with that?
and second. is it bad if a 14 year old has gotten fingered and made out with 3 guys? (link)
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well for the first part of the question, I think that you need to listen to your heart. Right now it's telling you that you shouldnt be with guy #2. So you do need to break it off with him. Tell him you're sorry, and you love being with him, but you're 14 and you have too many feelings to control right now, and dating him just isnt a good idea. Tell him, it was a bit of a rebound thing, and you really like him, but you think you need to take a guy-free break. Then tell him that you hope that you can work things out and get back together with him soon, but if he doesnt want to wait around for you you dont mind. It's important to do what you feel is right, but remember that breaking up with him, is not going to let you get back with the guy #1. He's out of the picture, and no matter why you broke up, you cant go back with him. That stage of your life is over and you need to move on (let me know if you want some moving on tips) so maybe taking a few months to recouperate will let you go back to guy #2 and hopefully life will move on smoothly. But if not, thats not a big deal, youre only 14 you'll have other boyfriends.
As far as question #2, I don't know what that has to do with the first one (lol) but I think that your heart can tell you that too. It's your life, and if you feel that you shouldnt have done that, or let yourself go taht far with a guy, then it is bad. But if you think that its okay, (which I doubt, because you wouldnt be asking if you were totally sure that it wasnt a big deal) then thats how you feel. I think taht it would be a good idea for you to set limits for yourslef, and from now on, plan your life around the limits. Say, I'm going to do______ when I'm twenty, then when your nineteen and it comes up, say, you arent ready. It is important to not let guys do more than you think is appropriate, and sure you may be caught up in the moment, but thats life. Just make sure you listen to your heart and you'll do fine. Good luck, and I hope I helped you, but remember its ultimatly up to you, and any advice that anyone will give you, it doesnt matter, its not up to them. It's up to you! Let me know if you need any morehelp! Good luck,
Angie91
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I dont know what to do. Music has taken over my life. Its basically taken over any kind of life I have. I really dont want to see my boyfriend or friends anymore because I want to play my guitar. And another thing, everyone makes fun of the music I listen to because its mostly old stuff. I cant help it! Thats just what I like. What do I do? (link)
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Well first of all, you do have to monitor how much guitar you play, it may be more fun than hanging with friends, but its important to hang with your friends and bf once in a while to get out of the house, and have some interaction, other wise you could slip into depression and some other serious stuff. I honestly think that if you think its controlling your life, then maybe you should limit the amount of time you spend playing. Say like two hours a day max!(maybe thats alittle unreasonable but say you play ten hours a day normally, then limit it to a number about two hours off of that so 8-6type of thing) And try and find an out door activity that keeps you active and you can have fun with your friends. then try and bring the number of hours down gradually more and more. And make sure that you dont fill your addiction (for lack of a better word) with something else thats just as bad or worse (say smoking, or spending time on the computer) try and find something fun that will let you hang out with your friends.
As far as the music thing, I love country, and all my friends hate it, so I just listen to it when I'm at home. Don't change yourself for your friends. Listen to their music when their around and even if you dont like it whatever, its a couple of hours every now and then, do can go home and listen to what ever you want right? Also, I don't think that listening to music is an obsession that needs to be fixed, but if you feel that thats all you are doing, then limit that number as well.
Remember you're an awesome person, and if you're inside playing your guitar all day who are you showing off your other awesome talents to? Good luck, hope that you can learn to love music and still have a good mix. Once you figure out how to do that then life should go smoothly. Good luck! Love,
Angie91
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