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why do i feel jealous?
My best friends have just started going out. The guy's name is andrew. I dont think i ever liked andrew, but i am insanely jealous of the girl, mary. I might just be afraid that my friendship with them will weaken, but im afraid that it might be more. I'm afraid that I like Andrew.
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hay
maybe you are craving the effection that each of them have for each other or your scared that they will form a really close bond and start leaving you out. although there is the ovoiuse one which is that you like him but i what i think is that you need to take some time out and think of how your feelling so you can work out wat is really going on inside your head. Once you know wat it is then go from there.
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Okay, well sweetie, I think you just answered your own question. That's okay though because you asked for advice and I'm here to give you some. Jealousy comes for so many reasons. There are probably even more possible reasons for your jealousy, but jealousy (contrary to popular belief) is not a bad thing. It's an emotion, that's like saying happiness is a bad thing and no one should be happy. Or grief is a bad thing, no one in the world can be sad. And again, using sadness as an example, usually what happens is you are sad for a reason right, say your boy friend dumped you. Then you get in a fight with your brother. Then your best friend ditches you for her boyfriend Saturday. So you break down. Well jealousy works the same way. You're jealous of Mary because she has a boyfriend and you don't (?). You're jealous of them because they are so happy together when you aren't (?). You're jealous of your friends because they have someone to hang out with Saturday night now. What about you? Where do you fit in? Do you want to be the third wheel? No, so you get jealous. (don't worry, we all do). Your mind naturally tries to find a way to fix this situation and tell you why your jealous, because it doesn't like loose ends, and it doesn't like being confused by this situation, so it tells you you're upset because you're afraid you'll lose them and you like Andrew. But are those the real answers? Do they even relate to the jealousy? They could be (and probably are) two totally separate issues that just involve the same situation. What do you think?
Your mind is trying to find solutions for this, so it says that because you like Andrew you have to be jealous of Mary. So it's one issue. But wait! Do you like Andrew? Or do you just think you do because you are jealous of him and Mary? Wow I feel like I'm in a soap opera! And you're sitting there thinking whoa this girl is insane. Well the truth is, you're the only one who can figure all of this out. So the first thing you have to do is figure out whether or not you like Andrew. Chances are you probably just want what Mary has, and she has Andrew so you want Andrew. Well actually you don't want Andrew, (unless you decide that you do, if that's the case then ignore this next part) you want a boyfriend (unless you have one then you should spend more time with him, or break up with him because you don't like him enough or you probably wouldn't have this problem) and that means that you need to start finding someone else to think about besides Andrew. Now this is something that's tough, so I'll give you an idea, this is for people who need to nip a problem in the butt. Every time you think of Andrew (in any way other than your best bud) write it down. Like draw a ticky mark on your hand on your school book or you calendar, and at the end of the day add them all up. Then for everyone you wrote down put a quarter in a jar. Then when you're over the problem, donate the money to charity. Pick something else to focus on, (another guy) and think about them, every time you start to get jealous of Mary and Andrew. Pick a guy in Math class and obsess about him. What was he wearing? How did he do his hair today? What colour are his shoes? Figure out a way to keep your mind off Andrew. And then, if possible, find a boyfriend (it doesn't have to be the obsessing guy). It will give you even more to concentrate. But if that's not possible, try and find a better way to get people off of your mind. Volunteer, join a club. Anything to keep yourself occupied. If you do that. Eventually it will all work out and you'll stop being Jealous and find peace.
Your friendship will not weaken, and we'll work on the Andrew thing, but figure things out and try and find a way to get over him if you like him, and get over your jealousy if you don't. I'm sure you're an awesome friend and I hope that you can make sense of all of this and find a way to figure this all out. Good luck, and I hope I helped. Love,
Angie91
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first of all you most likely dont like him your just afriad of losing your best friend and i no that can be the worst. if she is TRUELY your friend she will always put her bff before bf. But what i am going to tell you is since they just started going out there gonna being going through the whole gf bf love thing so give them some sapece but after a few weeks go by they will get over the lovey dovie thing And you friendships should be back to normal.
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It's completely normal. You guys were all best friends, and you probably feel like you'll be left out, and you're going to lose your friends. Maybe you do like Andrew, maybe not. But I'm pretty sure that you're just afraid that you're going to lose your closest friends. It's fine, and I'd probably feel the same way if I was in the same situation as you. <3
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darlin you think you are losein your friend to this andrew do sumthin with your friend have a laugh you should feel better but dont go round thinkin your bestfriends bf not a gud look
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