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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

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advice

I don't understand this stuff at all. But, my little brother is like doing all this weird coding stuff on the computer & I feel likes it a illegal, since some company supposedly just paid him 300 dollars to make fake accounts. He makes fake accounts & passwords for the website or something...?

Is this illegal? I don't get it. I feel like it is, but I don't understand it, & so he thinks its wrong my parents are punishing him for it..

I just don't understand why a company would pay someone to make fake accounts...

It's possible that the company wants to get information about people from their profiles and in order to see their information, they need to become "friends" on the website. Some people add mostly anybody that adds them and it's much more likely that someone will add someone that they believe is a person rather than a company. Another reason why the company would want fake accounts is so that the accounts can be set up to spam other users. For example, the may send messages to members of the website with links that will take them to advertisements, other websites that they want them to join, things that they want them to buy, stuff like that. I'm sure you've gotten a lot of spam messages. My guess is that this is what your brother is doing because it would involve some weird coding. I'm not sure if it's illegal, but the website below seems to think so. It looks legit and gives decent explanations for most of the questions you may have. Do not take this website as the complete truth because it may not be, but, like I said, it looks like it's the real deal.

http://www.spamlaws.com/illegal-spam.html

Hi!

So there once was this guy from church that I was seeing for like a whole year.As many relationships start off , it was nice and wonderful at the beginning . In a span of 2-3 months he said that he loved me, we had done "some things " together and he had also told me that he wanted to take me to his grad next year and that by then, he would like to make things official with us. As the school year came and went by , we would always have our ups and downs. we would always bicker about what our relationship was and how he wanted our relationship to be hushed. Because we were never official, things got complicated as we continued to act like a couple even though when really we never were one.
He would always make excuses about how half of the time he felt like he would date me and how half of the time he wouldn't because he didn't want anything to be serious at the moment. Although i knew i shouldve took it as a red flag, I would always ignore it because I didn't want to lose him .
So ,when the following year finally came he told his parents that he was going to take me as his grad date. But instead of being ok with it, they were shocked and disapproved of it . They gave him a whole lecture about how it would be best if he dated someone outside of church . And their reasoning behind this was because they didn't want any rumors and awkwardness happening around in the church.
To sum things up, in the end he took a different girl to his grad , I got jealous and he broke up our so called bond. Although he said that we could maybe get back in the future and that things would never change between us, the whole friendship became really hard on me because things were changing and he wasn't texting me as much as he used to.
And now that I think about it, I feel like he never tried hard enough to make it work.
I feel hurt and used, that now whenever he does text me, it feels that it is only just for the sake of it.
And as for that , I haven't answered his text yet. I don't know what to do !! Is it best if I continue to ignore him , or should I continue to talk to him and be a friend?!?!!
Please help !
Thanks

Ps sorry for the long message haha

My advice to you is to talk to your minister about this. My guess is that he/she would probably support your relationship and I'll bet that he/she wouldn't be very happy that your guy's parents didn't want him to be with you just because you go to the same church! That's just crazy and wrong. Your minister is a good person to go to when you need advice and especially with something like this. It's like having a free therapist. Even if you don't have that close of a relationship with him/her it could help you feel better to have the conversation. Try not to go into it expressing anger, just frustration and sadness. A lot of people really care about what their parents and friends think when it comes to relationships and his parents are definitely very wrong. It's possible that he knew that his parents wouldn't want him to be with you so he kept some distance from you just in case something like this happened. It's possible that he likes you still, but doesn't know how to fight for you and doesn't want to disappoint his parents. It is certainly possible too, that he was never really that interested in you to begin with, but not necessarily. It's important for you to find out. Try to get him to talk to you. What do your parents think? You should tell them the story and maybe they can help. If his parents really said that and really broke the two of you up because they were worried about gossip, they should be called out on that. I really do hope that you talk to your minister about this too, he/she may really be able to help. His parents should not be able to get away with something that's so ridiculous. Yes, they're adults and they should be shown some respect, but that doesn't mean that they didn't do something completely wrong and terrible for really selfish reasons. Good luck!

Okay, 19/f 19/m
Been together for almost 2 years.
Beginning of relationship, I told him how against porn I was- it made my parents relationship end in divorce, so I've been highly against it.

He told me he would do it, blah blah blah.
I've caught him doing it 4 times a week, for a whole month. When I found out, he lied. Than I showed him my proof, and he admitted to it.

Well, about 6 months later, he did it again- lied about it, of course, and swore to me he would never do it again.

Everytime I've caught him, I begin to shake like I'm cold, my finger tips get froze, and I can barely breathe.
I feel so ungood enough. We have sex, not as often as he'd like but we are LIVING under my parents roof, and they say NO sex, so we try as often as we can.

He told me he never wants to make me feel not good enough, and he would really stop.

I gave him another chance.

Well, tonight, I found porn on my computer. He visted three different websites, 6 times a piece, not sure when it started, but I'm sure it was just the past couple of days.

I'm shaking, I'm heartbroken.

What should I do?
Porn is one thing I will NOT being able to compromise on. A real man would respect his woman and not do things that hurt her.

I even tried have sex with him atleast four times this past weekend, and he didn't want to, and let me tell you, my boyfriend is ALWAYS in the mood.

Btw. He proposed to me in Feb, 2012- Idk what I should do.

I feel sick to my stomach, and I feel so betrayed.

Help?

EDIT: Sometimes they have ads in the newspaper for support groups. For a therapist you could check the yellow pages or the Internet. Call a few people and ask them if they have experience helping people with porn addiction. Don't trust him so blindly right now just because he's saying the right things. This may be his last ditch effort to not lose you. He may be emotional about the possibility of you breaking up with him, which could lead him to more lies and deceit. It may be true that he is addicted and can't help it, but it may just be another lie because you've backed him into a corner. If he uses the computer from a wireless router, you can block certain websites with his help and even stop the Internet from working during certain times of the day. This can be password protected with a password that only you know. If he's serious about this, that should be something he'd agree to do and he'd help you do it. It's a good test of his convictions. Google search "how to block websites on my wireless router" and you should be able to find step-by-step instructions. Good luck and I hope that he's being honest with you!

In the context of the relationship as a whole, the problem isn't that he's watching porn. The problem is that he keeps being dishonest about it. He told you that he wouldn't watch porn, then he did, then he got caught, and he lied until you had evidence! That's horrible.

A lot of people watch porn and they don't see anything wrong with it. It doesn't destroy everyone's relationships. Many couples even watch it together. He clearly has no problem with it. The issue is that he's being extremely insensitive to your beliefs and if he's lying about this, what will he lie about next? He knows that this is really important to you. He has betrayed and disrespected you, not by watching porn, but by lying about it and continuing to promise that he won't.

In all likelihood, he is going to keep doing this no matter what. He hasn't quit for you yet so it's unlikely that he will. He believes that its okay and it's probably not affecting him to the point where he is mistreating you or not wanting to sleep with you or anything. It may have no affect on him at all, just you. Don't worry, you're not crazy and it's not your fault, but this is your issue more than it is his.

Porn is a tricky thing to understand if you're not into it. If you want to be with him or try to work things out, you need to have a conversation with him about porn. Get him to explain to you why he does it and what it means to him. Tell him that you know he isn't going to stop because he hasn't. Make him be real with you. Do not let him lie to you again. Give him a chance to be honest and tell you his side of the story. Maybe he will be able to explain it well enough to change your mind, maybe not, but at least the conversation is happening rather than the relationship ending in deceit.

Not all porn use is the same. It's a very complicated issue. You need to remember though, that the betrayal isn't in watching porn. It's in so easily and so repetitively lying to you about something that he knows is important to you. Your boyfriend believes that porn is okay, but there's no way that he believes that lying to you is okay. He chose to do something that, in his mind, he knew was very wrong. That's the big issue here. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that. If you focus more on the lying than the use of porn itself, you may get better results when talking to him about it because he believes that it's wrong.

One more thing that you should consider is that a very large part of the population watches porn, especially the younger population because of how easy it is to get on a computer. Some very good people watch porn. You'll be limiting your dating pool by quite a bit by making it a requirement that your guy never watches porn. If you're going to make it a deal-breaker, consider how many people you will be cutting out and make sure that you're okay with that. Is it okay for someone to watch porn once a week, once a month, or is it never okay? Porn isn't something that just a handful of pervy people do - it's popular. This very situation that you're in now could happen again. Obviously you don't want to ask someone on your first date whether they watch porn or not, but if this is going to be a big deal for you, you're going to want to bring it up kind of early on so that you can make your decision about the relationship before it gets too far.

I don't want you to think that you're weird or that not wanting your man to watch porn is extreme. While it is true that a lot of people watch porn, there are a lot of people out there that are against it too. You need to decide if this is a deal-breaker. Everyone draws the line somewhere. If it is, you know what to do. Even if it isn't, consider how much he's been lying to you instead of being a big boy and trying to resolve your differences.

I wish you the best of luck in your life. My advice to you is to break up with this guy and to deeply think about your views on porn so that you're ready for your next relationship. Even if you decide that some porn use is okay, this guy is not someone that you can ever trust.

Another thing you should do is talk to your mom about this. Children may not pick up on everything and focus on the big issues. It's very possible that your mom didn't leave your dad because he watched porn. It might be that they split up because he lost his attraction for her because of the porn, he respected her less because of it, or because he lied to her about it. Talk to your mom about what's happening in your relationship and get some insight on the deeper issues that your mom and dad had than his choice to watch porn. There might be something more to it, there might not, but it's a good conversation to have.

Im making this video for my dad for his birthday of pictures of his kids and grandkids through the years. but i am cant seem to find a song to go into the grand kids part. he's not dead so i really dont want a song talking about how they miss seeing him or how they want him back. his birthday is in a few days so i need this asap! thank you so much for your answers

I made a slideshow for my great-grandma when I was a kid and we used L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole, This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole, and Circle of Life by Elton John (the one from the Lion King). I liked using these songs because they have a fun older feel to them and they're well known. I found a lot of ideas with a quick Google search of "family slideshow songs". There are a lot of lists and a lot of songs to look through if you don't like my suggestions. Good luck! :)

14/f sooo im really freaking out in my head because im so confused what to do with my life right now. basically my life sucks at the moment. now sure whats going on with my friends they are i guess ignoring me and i dont know why, thats not why im so confused though. my parents are divorced and have been for 2 years. my dad is a very stubborn narrow minded person that im pretty sure is a narc, at least thats what my mom says about him. from the very beginning when they got divorced when i was 12, or even when they were separated when i was 11 thats when it started. i tried my best being an older sister to my younger brother who is two years younger than i. i wasnt even thinking about myself i felt so bad for him. and so my dad would try to put me in the middle for me to go back and forth constant time and time again, and i hated it. my mom would yell at me from the time i was 11 about he is not allowed to do this and he is supposed to contact me, i agreed with her so i decided to give it a try and tell him that isnt allowed to do this time and time and again. the stress that it put on me going back and forth was so much that it affected me in every which possible way. i am a tough girl, funny, smart, independent, social, but i started seeing myself as a week person because nothing was going right and maybe i even thought it was my fault. so i started feeling like shit and people started started seeing me in a 360 degree perspective. now i just felt even more like shit beacuse people looked down on me rather than up to, because i had always felt like a leader. so i was getting so fed up with everthing and everyone that i was like dad you NEED to contact her (i said this in person) and he was like no im gonna do that i dont want any contact with her. also when my bday came around in january i dont even think he called me up to say happy bday my bff's dad and her called me up and said happy birthday which i thought was so nice. and i was like really and still am really close to her dad. he was like my second dad, or my dad i never had. he'd always be like i love you, like i was his second daughter. so finally when my dad called i was like oh u wanna go out to dinner ok..u need to ask mom and hes like on the phone then i guess we cant see each other then because im gonna do that. so im like fuck it. then i got even more mad. i decided to not talk to him ever again.(it failed) for 6 months we didnt speak. i sent him a really nasty email that i regret but parts were true, parts i was dumping all my frustration on him. we didnt see each other until I, REPEAT I fucken called that bastard up and wanted to make up. that was last summer. but now im realizing how much the going back fucked me up, socially now i feel like i have to walk on eggshells becuase they woulf both tell me to make sure not to say this or that to my mom or dad. socially, i was probablly the most unfiltered, hilarious, entertaining kid so you can imagine how hard it was to sap my creativity from me like that. i had soo much confidence, and now it just kinda diminshed. grades went down, started getting benched at the sport i was played non stop, started becoming anti social, and eventually depressed. it has created so much physical problems for me and mental issues. i just want all this shit outta my head and into other people's head so they know what im going throuh, i go to therapy, it helps but i feel like im missing something. i want to be me again, its been a struggle for nearly three years. i've tried to push my dad away (well i didnt really have to try he just kinda disapeared at the snap of a finger) by getting angry, but it didnt help. so a few days ago i was like listen (over text) you need to text her about vacation, or when your picking me up and dropping me and john off (my lil bro) mom needs to know an im not going back anymore. and i thought he was gonna be like well then i guess we cant see each other and if he did i was gonna be like fine now some closure, thankyou without the fighting. but he was like ok. but i told him to do it from now on. and im really gonna hold him to it, i told my mom is not gonna give him a hard time about it. and she agrees with me. now back in may my older brother came to visit he usally isnt allowed to come inside because he is on my dads side (when my parents got divorced they had a really messyyyyyyyy divorce with cops and legal shit and restraing orders and everything) and he didnt talk to my older sister either, because she took my mom side, but finally after 3 years of fighting and grudges he was able to let it go and talk it out with my mom and sister and im very happy about that. so im really happy about that. he just wanted his family back, and he was really confused and messed up, like the rest of us but we accepted him. now im like where do i start? i have to become myself again, i want my confidence back, my dignity, and everything. i cant expect to grow relationships with anyone like guys, friends, or family if i dont get it out on the table. i cant love myslef if i have so many flaws i'd like to fix and get off my chest about the way im feeling. when i was myself, the self confident (not self conscious) unfiltered, funny girl, i accepted myself for everything i was. i loved my self, if i said something i didnt mean or made a mistake i would say i made a mistake. but now its very hard to just talk fluently and like before. im stressed about whats going on in my home life that it affects eveything else. its crucial something changes quick and i speak up because my dad does not pay child support (like he could give a shit right?)my mom is only getting unemployment, he is not paying for health insurance anymore, which is really fucked up. my oldest brother is living home, hes almost 30 hes working and makes good money and hes supporting us like hes the dad in our fucked up dysfunctional family. him and my mom and trying to downsize and buy a smaller house in my town to make things easier, and im excited to start over at a new house or a "fresh start", as my mom says. so i need to speak up quick because school is starting again and i want to start over in hs. my other older brother has been craming in my head that freshmen year is the difference between going to a great college with a a scholarship and a crappy school with tons of debt (that is then u need to work hard after that too) so that kinda scared me and i want to get back to my happy place, its cheesy but i dont care i just want to myself again. because right now i feel like a total opposite person of the person i am deep down, it just wont show through. so yeah school is starting soon, and the stress has caused me to get asthma, (not been diagnosed by any of this but im pretty damn sure this is how i got it because of stress) paranoia, a little bit of OCD, due to anxiety and panic attacks and depression, tiredness, fatigue, headaches, hair falling out alot, im skinny but a little blub in abs, emotional eating, (but thank god i dont gain any weight becasue im still growing and i do sports) memory loss, indescisive, antisocial or feel like i need to watch what i say, and im getting a very strange rash on my neck sorta thing on my necks and face, its not really visiable. it tiny, tiny bumps of my skin colors but their a cluster on my neck and their really annoying me. i used exfoliator, creams, vasoline, med creams and med acne creams, never heard of it, never had it, i never get ance let alone my face, and this is not acne because theirs no puss, so im pretty sure this is realted to stress becasue i read that you can "break out" in whatever if you are very stressed. so i want to get my stress of my chest so all this stuff will go away. im really confused if its me, my dad, or my whole family thats making me feel the way im feeling. im going to talk about it at therapy but the sooner the better. so i would get it off my chest but im not good at expressing my feelings so this'll be a challenge and im kinda nervous what they'll say. but ive done this before with my brother and he completley understood and thats when he made up with my mom and sister which is what i was upset about. but my dad, he only thinks about himself and i just dont care anymore its my life and if he honestly doesnt care then i honestly dont care enough to have in my life, because ive tried and tried and tried with him and its really sad that i have to bend over backwards to explain to him that i i love i just want him to do whats right, making me feel like im the fucking parent here. im started to feel like my mom who was married to him for over 25 years and she tried ad tried until finally gave up and said even though i dont have a job and i dont have that much college edu. i can help myslef and my 3 kids, and she worked day and night to help us. but like i said it involved the family taking sides, and cops and all the great shit, kinda similar to how i was really nasty to him in the email, well now i just want him to listen rather than me always listening to his bullshit, becuase im not going to become my mom thats for sure. im currently and never went on any meds because i thought they would give me this false perception that i was happy when i really wasnt and when i went off them i would feel completly the same as went i felt depressed plus the fact that i had to down a bottle of meds for my age was sad as it was. so im doing it by myslef and its hard but im doing it. my therapist is great but im seeing her less because my mom can barely afford it, im only seeing her once every 2 weeks and i used to see her once every week. but i'll live. the thing is that i want to blow of my stress, so i can get my shit together and then i think my confidence will go really up and everything should fall into place. basicalllly i know this is long but if you got what my whole "speech" :) was about then i would much appreciate if you gave some useful advice. thank you

Did you feel better writing all that down? Sometimes, writing can be a great way to help with stress. When you write you can take all of those complex ideas that are in your head and get them down on paper. You can then look at your problems outside of yourself and sometimes they don't look quite so bad or you may feel silly for having been upset about certain things. Even if it doesn't help right away, it will probably help in time. It gets your ideas out of your head, which should help with your stress. Anyways, you should try starting an online journal - it could help! Another way to reduce stress is exercise. Lots of people exercise in order to ease the stress in their lives. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which are hormones that make you feel happy. No lie! It's pretty awesome. So, try writing your thoughts and feelings out and try exercise. These things should help. Take a deep breath and remember that there are a lot of things in your life that you can't control. The only thing you can control is yourself. As you get older, life will get easier. You'll be able to make more decisions for yourself and this stressful time will only be a distant memory. For now, try to stay relaxed. Good luck! :)

Okay, so this year, I got terrible grades on my ITBS test scores. And on top of that, I got two C's in my third trimester, and one C as my final composite. I'm in the average level, and I don't want to be dropped. But usually in my school you are dropped if you get more than two C's and few D's and F's, or if you go to summer school. So, my question is, will I be dropped?

None of us can tell you what's going to happen. All schools are different and there are so many things that go into these types of decisions. If you want to know, contact your school's guidance counselor. The guidance office should have the answers you're looking for. Good luck. :)

so recently my friend told me shes had sex with two guys one of which was a one night stand. but the thing is is that we're both 13 and thoses guys hadnt even been going out with her. (they were the same age, though) And every guy Ive ever gone out with (4 of them) all went out with me because they were dared to. And my friend makes a point of this all the time. Im not suicidal, im just insecure because i feel like all these people hate me because ive never even hugged a guy let alone had sex with one. i feel so dumb and stupid.

Guys at this age will go after girls that they know they can get with - not the good ones. They don't want to put themselves out there. Whatever you do, don't be like your friend because you're jealous of the attention she's getting from guys. I felt insecure about myself in high school too. I didn't think I was ugly, but I could never understand why no one asked me out. I wasn't asked out until I was 18 years old. I'm not from the stone age either, I'm only 26 right now. I always wondered what was wrong with me and even though I didn't want to have sex, I hated feeling like no one wanted me. Guess what, though? I found the most wonderful guy ever when I was 18.5 and we've been together ever sense. We're married now and I couldn't be happier. I look at all those people I was jealous of when I was in high school and many of them aren't married or in happy relationships. They had babies on accident right after high school. I look at myself and I'm very happy with how my love life turned out and to think, it didn't begin until I was 18, but it was well worth the wait. I know it sucks and I know how you feel, but do your best to relax and even if high school isn't your time, you'll find someone in college like I did. :)

I don't know where this quote is from, but I always liked it when I was younger and feeling like no one would ever want me.

“Girls are like apples - the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.”

hi so i have been dating this guy for 9 months now but i only told my parents bout it 2 months ago ... n by now we have had sex already and are completely in luv .. n in 15 days we r going to uni in a different uni n hence we talk a lot on phone n text a lot but my mom keeps getting pissed bout it .. she is like m a horrible daughter n do nothing in my life n is concerned if i will study in uni or kee texting like i do here .. n i wont .. its jsut that he is leaving .. doesnt she get that ... could u pls suggest wat can i do in a situation like this .. when someone i luv madly is leaving ,... n my mom thinks we r chatting or texting or talking too much.

Your mom does understand, she is probably just scared. She cares about you and wants to protect you and your situation with this guy makes her uncomfortable. Probably the main issue here is that she thinks you've only been with him for 2 months. After 2 months, you shouldn't be talking that much or be so madly in love with him as you are because it's actually been 9 months. Parents also have a hard time understanding texting and having so much communication with a boyfriend. Back when they were your age, boyfriends and girlfriends weren't so connected and didn't talk as much. Nobody had a cell phone and relationships went much slower. I had a huge falling out with my family over my boyfriend, who I am now married to. It got really bad and I didn't talk to them for years. It's been a long time now and things are still not back to normal. My relationship with my family has been damaged. Maybe they're being unreasonable and maybe they should be more supportive of you, but they're family. Years from now, you're not going to want a damaged relationship with them like I have. Try to avoid this at all costs. Family is important. What you need to do is be honest with your mom. Tell her that you've been with him for 9 months. She may get upset about it because you lied, but if you forbid yourself to yell or say nasty things to her and have a calm, adult conversation, things may go better than you think. If she starts to yell or make nasty comments, don't do it back. Be the adult. I didn't do that, I left them and I didn't look back and I know now that this was a mistake as I'm trying to rebuild the relationship I had with them. If you can show her that you're being an adult about this and own up to her that you've been with him for longer and that you've developed stronger feelings, that you have had sex with him, she may understand a little better. As long as you approach the conversation in a very calm, non-accusing way with no crying, nastiness, or saying that she doesn't understand, and as long as you keep it there, it could go well and you'll be in a better place than you are now. Just be totally honest and open, tell her how you feel about him and about what she's doing. Apologize for lying! Good luck!

my mom read my journal thaat my therapist told me to write becouse i have depressin and anxiety constantly she acts like she nows everything now and i dont know what to do and i am having trouble trusting her or anybody

adviceman49 gave good advice. The only thing I have to add is that you may be able to get a journal with a lock already on it instead of locking it inside something. Sometimes parents can be funny when they know you have a locked box because anything could be in it. If it's a journal with a lock on it she'll know that's what it is. The other idea is that there are a lot of websites where you can keep a journal. You can set it to private so no one can see it and it would be password protected. What happened to you sucks, but you'll get through it. Make sure that you talk to your therapist about it. Your therapist knows you better than we do and may be able to give you better advice. :)

its a big issue in my life. im 14/f and my life has/had crumbled down and im trying to really rebuild it. my dad i thought was this good guy my mom bashing him now i actually get it and im started to get pissed off of how the way hes treated me. im not going into the details of how it got so bad but it had to do with divorce. now i just wanna be a kid. i just want to be me. i want to really really really really in all my life help myself. i go to therapy once evrey 2 weeks it helps. i want to be able to say what i wanna say when i wanna say it to who i want to thats how i was before, and not to sugar coat it and not walk on egg shells. i want my confidence back..is that too much to ask for? becauase then i know everything i want will fall into place. sometimes im worried of feelings and reactions and all these other things but before i wouldnt give two shits if i made a mistake i would say i made a mistake. now i cant. i dont know why but its just hard to get through it and i want to wholy be me again. i want my voice back. im trying to workout again like lifting weights. im skinny i do socccer but i wanna get more fit and eat healthy i guess theres a start. but can anyone help if they went through something similar or just advice? thanksss

I don't know what the situation is with your dad or what the reason was for the divorce. If you are not seeing your dad and you're only seeing your mom, that's probably a lot of the issue. If he was abusive or something then stay completely away from him, but if it was something else like cheating, money, or some other reason, it is important to have a father in your life. He's not a perfect person and I'm sure he could've been a better father, but that male parental influence in your life is important. Plus, if you're only hearing all this crap from your mom, what does your dad think? There are two sides to a story and maybe he messed up, but if you're only hearing about it from your mom, you're not going to understand his side. Even if he was totally wrong, he's your dad and again, unless he was abusive, you should work to try to forgive him and spend time with him. At least try to understand him. As for what else should happen in the meantime, you need to tell your mother to stop talking about your dad like that in front of you. It's not healthy and it's not something you should have to listen to or deal with. There's just no need for it. She needs to find someone else to talk to if she needs to talk about it. It's unfair for her to lay this all on you and it's part of what is changing you. She needs to stop this. It's not your problem. The other thing I have to tell you is that this was a big event in your life. It is going to have an effect on you and you are going to change. You can be the person you want to be, but you can't be exactly the same as you were before. It is going to take time for you to heal from this. You may not like how you're acting and you may not have that great of a life for a little while. In time, though, you will pull through this and you will recover. You can then be what you want to be. Right now though, you're going to be a little messed up. It isn't fair, but know that you will get over this and you will heal. You'll be the person that you want to be, just be patient for now. Good luck and please try to remember how, even though he may have done something wrong, it's important to have your dad in your life and it's important to stand up to your mom and tell her to stop bashing him in front of you. She's hurting and she's going through a lot, but the last thing that she wants is to hurt you further and what she is doing is hurting you, whether you know it or not.

Hi, boyfriend of 2 years says i don't even realize that he loves me to death? he says he loves me to bits. why would he say i don't even REALIZE because i know he loves me. so guys, what does he mean? thanks

He means that he doesn't just love you, he loves you powerfully. Think of a food that you like and a food that you really, really like. There is a big difference between the two. He's telling you that he loves you to a large degree. Love isn't just one thing. There are many kinds and levels of love. My guess is that he's said "I love you" to other people in the past and when he compares how he feels about you to how he felt about others, he knows that he loves you a lot more. Because he is young, he is excited about these feelings and he feels the need to express it to you. Basically, he loves you a lot and to a higher level than he's experienced love before. It really doesn't mean anything, honestly. It's not like he actually thinks that you don't realize it. He's just blown away by his own feelings. It's more just a figure of speech. It's hard to come up with words for love sometimes and these are the ones that he's chosen. There's nothing really to worry about. You could come up with something witty to say back like "I don't realize it because I love you more" or something if you want to. He'd probably like that. I hope my explanation made sense and good luck!

So.. two months ago almost three, my bf and i were having sex, and he realized the condom broke about Two minutes before he was done, and he pulled out but cummed on my inner thigh and around my hole..(vulva i think) and im scared i might be pregnant..

It is unlikely that you are pregnant, but it would be completely wrong to say that there is no possible way that you could be. Some sperm can sneak out before ejaculation and if the condom broke, you could have gotten pregnant from that. Since it has been several months since this happened, if you were pregnant, you may have already started to see some signs - like morning sickness. In order to put your mind at ease, go get a pregnancy test kit from the store. They should be right next to the condoms. It's been long enough for these to work effectively. If it comes out positive, don't panic! Sometimes they are wrong. If two or three of them come out positive, go to a doctor and have yourself tested there so you know for sure.

I have a few tips for you for the future. As much as you hear about condoms breaking all the time, they really don't if used correctly. If a condom breaks it's likely that it is past its expiration date, was kept in a hot car, it already had a tear in it, or it was put on wrong. I'm not saying that a condom won't break, but it is not a common thing. Make sure that you always check the date on any condom that you are using and make sure that they're being kept in a good place. When it's being put on, check to make sure it doesn't have any tears in it. I know that these things do not exactly enhance the mood, but you have to do it if you don't want a kid. The other bit of advice I have for you is that if a condom breaks or comes off, get the morning after pill.

Good luck!

For about, maybe... 1 Week, I have been going to this camp that my friends have been going to. And let me say... I've been hit on a lot. But not as bad. Im just going to sum up this story.
On the first day, I was called "Sexy" and "Hot" a lot. I wasn't really worried about it. And then this guy, he's a year older then me (Im 14), started getting really... "Colorful" with me. He started with just messing with me, and then it got to touching. I was laying down, just chillin', and he came over, and he got super close to me, and he whispered "I would f***ing do it with you."

And then that hit it off. He's been touching me, name calling me, and attempting to get with me. It's actually freaking me out, because one of my "friends" told him where I lived. And this guy is almost 3 feet taller then me, he's way stronger then me as well, he could easily rape me, no problems. That's why I'm so scared about this. I'm not good with words, and I'm afraid if I say something that'll make him upset, he'll freak and go to my house. x I've stopped going to the camp, but I really need help on this. I dont know where to turn.

What should I do?! What should I say?!

If you have been talking to him online or through text or something, you should tell him that he needs to stop saying these things to you and if he harasses you or shows up to your house, you will contact the police. Then, if he does, you need to follow through. Anything that he has sent you, make sure you save it because the police can't do anything if you can't show them the evidence. My guess is that this should scare him enough that he'll leave you alone. If you are not in contact with him, do not get into contact with him. If he comes to your house, do not let him in and tell him to leave. If he refuses, call the police. From what you've said in your question, it doesn't appear as if you've been very direct or forceful with him. Did you ever forcefully tell him to stop? Did you tell a counselor at the camp about what he was doing? I used to be a camp counselor and they would've taken something like that really seriously and made sure to protect you. If anything like this happens in the future, make sure that you stand up for yourself. It may be out of character, but you have to be strong and yell at someone like this to leave you alone. They might insult you for doing so (get your panties out of a knot, is it that time of the month, or other really sexist comments), but it's important for you to get the message across. It's possible that he thought that you liked the attention he was giving you. Even if you say no, if you say it quietly or without much conviction, a guy that is that young may not understand. Make sure that he is 100% sure that you do not want anything to do with him and if he continues, you need to take action and get an authority figure to help you. I'm not saying that you did anything wrong here. This guy seems like a complete disgusting creep and that's no fault of yours. The problem is that sometimes, we can get ourselves into trouble by being too nice to disgusting creeps. He doesn't deserve your kindness, he deserves to get put in his place. In the future, try to be more assertive and the situation may not get so out of hand so quickly. Maybe you don't want to admit to yourself that you did like the attention at first. We all like to know that we're sexually appealing and it's nice when people come on to us, it's a great boost to self-esteem. We're probably all guilty of leading people on a little. When it starts crossing the line though, you can't just let it go because you've been letting it go. It's not your fault that he's the way that he is and it's important to put your foot down. When he lied down with you and you felt uncomfortable, why didn't you get up and leave? When he went to whisper in your ear, why didn't you move away? When he said that to you, did you tell him that you weren't interested in him? If you're more forceful and assertive about what you're feeling, you may be able to keep these situations from spiraling out of control. If you react strongly to unwanted advances, the person may get the point easier. It's never too late to stand up to someone that you've been letting flirt with you. When it's enough, it's enough. My guess is that he's not going to do anything, but if he does, you'll be prepared. Good luck!

im 16/f looking foward to getting my bellybutton pierced. but in the past dont know why i did this dont judge loll but when i was kinda insecure i waxed on my stomache because i thought the hair was gonna get thinner and lighter by doing so, but the opposite happened so i had to wax it a few more times.its just darker and thicker.dont get me wrong its not like anything or anywhere near like shaving hair. but it does bother me because in general i just hate having hair there. ive tried using hydrogen peroxide which did absolutley nothing. i need something that is going to make it lighter and thinner or go away forever. so advice! thanksss

You can get a cream or similar product that will bleach body hair, making it less visible. My college roommate used it and it worked really well for her. I can't remember what brand it was, but I'm sure they're all pretty similar. Just browse through the hair products aisle and see what you can find. Good luck!

Here's an example:
http://compare.ebay.com/like/330651191771?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar

21/F
I've been dating this guy off and on for 4 years. Recently I've noticed he never seems happy about anything I'm excited about. For example I got a really good grade on a final that he knew I was stressing about for weeks and all he said was good job and diverted the conversation.. Another example is I just bought my very own new car and I was so excited when I signed the papers and I called him up about it and all he had to say was "it's only a V6? You're excited about a V6"... Idk but little things like that make me upset about him because when he's excited about something I'm just so happy that he's happy but it never seems like he does the same for me. Do I just care more about him than he does me? I mean I've talked to him about it and he's like no I'm happy for you but you can tell he thinks I'm stupid for being so enthusiastic... It just hurts me that he can't be happy cause I'm happy.. Maybe I'm just with the wrong guy?

It's early on in your lives and your relationship. In deciding whether or not he's the right guy, think about the relationship as a whole. It's not really whether he cares about you, it's more about your perception. Whether he cares about you or not, you'll probably continue wondering if he does whenever this happens and your feelings regarding this may start to be a problem. You need to consider if this is something that you want to go on for the rest of your life. Is it something that you can deal with? Does he have enough good qualities to outweigh this? Ten years from now, is this going to bother you even more? You don't want to set yourself up for divorce, but you don't want to make a rash decision because you've found a flaw in him. Everyone has flaws, is this one okay? Maybe it is, maybe it's not. The only thing that you can count on is that he's not going to change. Is this something that really, truly bothers you or something that you can get past? If you honestly can't get past it, he's not the guy for you. If you can somehow let this stop bothering you, then you should try sticking it out. Again, he's not going to change. It's not about making him fit you, it's about whether or not it fits the way it is. Whatever you decide, you won't be making a bad decision.

a while a go i got quite sick and couldnt eat or talk for two months. i used to arty all the time but i found a new way to life, a path i wanted to take that included healing myself through spirituality, proper nutrition and exercise. all my old friends are not on this level and not even my step sister who i am extremely close with. i can't go back to my old life and i cant fully move on to my new life, because i am afraid i won't find anyone truly like me/people that are more mature. has anyone been through anything like this or a pivotal change in their life? and advice on the topic would be greatly appreciated
thanks, amber

This is tough, but stay strong; you shouldn't give up on yourself for them. You didn't say how old you were, but I'm guessing that you're in high school. If I'm wrong, correct me and I'll correct my answer! If it is the case that you're in high school, you're in a great position. In a few years or less you'll be off to college. College is a great place. Pretty much everyone is starting over and there are a lot of people so you'll easily find some that fit with your new style. I had great relationships with my friends in high school and we never talk anymore. That's how life works. If you don't see someone for a long time you will start to drift apart no matter how close you were. The worst thing you could do is go back to your old ways because you're lonely. You'll be sacrificing yourself as a person for a few years of being a little more comfortable, but not happy. Find things to occupy yourself for awhile and it will all work out. It's so wonderful that you've gone through this transformation. Don't let anyone (including yourself) take that away from you. Good luck! :)

I got dumped when my Friend made a joke and said "you got Dumped bye your gf" And he said "ok then" we keep on telling him it was a joke he says I don't care. My friend is such an idiot.

I think there's something that you should start to realize from all of this. If your boyfriend really liked you, he wouldn't be acting like this. If he really wanted to be with you in a relationship, he wouldn't say that he didn't care. Even if he was very hurt by the joke, if he really liked you and wanted to be with you, he'd try to talk it out. A lot of the time when someone thinks they've been dumped (like he thought he was) if they are still really interested in the person, they will try to figure out why and see if the relationship can be fixed. I know you probably really like him, but this proves that he doesn't really like you. It's actually a good thing that your friend did this because it shows you what kind of person he is and it proves that he is not into you. As sad as it may be, you really should give up on this guy because he is really being a jerk to you. You didn't do anything wrong, it's just that the relationship isn't going to work from his end. It's better to know now than to have spent more time with him and found out later. Trust me, you'll find a much better guy to be with than him. Best of luck.

last week i weighed in around 98 pounds and i had been pretty stable at that for awhile now, i saw my doctor last thursday and i got him to take my weight and height i weighed about 85 pounds i lost like 10 pounds in a week. iv had my bf telling me he's worried and people from work and family. I see why but its not that I'm anorexic or belemic or something I do eat. I actually eat quite a bit. Today is tuesday and weighed in around 83 this morning I'm starting to worry myself but i don't know how to gain the weight back I'm still dropping. I do have a specialist appt booked for tomorrow morning at 9am to see but i don't think he will tell me much about it. I am very acive and don't wan a give that up just to gain weight. Is there certain foods i can eat or specialized diet? I eat a lot of fast food and take n bake pizza drink a lot of water juice and pop and i just switched to homo milk instead of 2% to try and bring up my fat intake. otherwise I'm lost tho...

I suggest making an account at livestrong.com. This website has a really nice calorie counter called "MyPlate" Don't get a paid account, just set a weight goal of gaining weight. Once you put in your current height and weight, it will tell you how many calories you need to consume each day to gain the weight that you want. This isn't going to be easy, but this website should give you a great place to start. You put in the exact food that you eat and the exercise that you do. It can be a little tricky at first because you have to look at portion sizes and count everything. For example, if you're eating Cheeze-Its, you have to count the number of them that you eat so that you can put them on the chart. A lot of restaurant food is already in the system, so that's nice. The website calculates everything for you and gives you a goal amount of calories to eat each day. A lot of people use it for losing weight, but it's set up for gaining weight too. You can easily figure out which foods have high calories that you like and eat a lot of them. Just make sure you're still maintaining a balanced diet. You wouldn't want to get sick because you cut out fruit! From my experience using the site, I've noticed that foods that are high in calories are meat, cheese, and most anything from a restaurant. I'm a water drinker, but soda, milk, and even juice have a lot of calories, so if you're a water drinker too, try to get some calories that way. Good luck and stay in touch with your doctor, especially if you lose any more weight.

Is this a good objective? If not, please give me some tips to better it.

Seeking a position within the company, _______, where I can strengthen my skills and gain experience in which I will make an even better employee in the future.

Honestly, I'll bet no one even really looks at the objective anymore. That's why many modern resumes don't include one. There's really no need for it. It wastes precious space where you could be writing about more important things - things that a potential employer actually wants to read about. If you really want to include an objective, what you have is okay. It does sound a little bit cookie-cutter (you're able to simply plug in the name of any company between the commas - they will notice this if they actually read it). I'd make it a bit more personalized to the particular company and position that you're applying for. What you have is extremely generic. I'd also take out the word "even". That word makes it sound less professional. At any rate, what your potential employer is really interested in is your experience. Personally, I would not include an objective at all.

Talent show ideas...

Most people tend to sing at talent shows. In order to stand out, do something different. Making and performing the "Bed of Nails" stunt would be pretty awesome.

http://demofiles.org/content/build-bed-nails-without-drill

I'm sure there are lots of other websites that show you how to make it and how to do it.

Good luck!

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