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Why can't he be excited about things I'm excited about?
21/F
I've been dating this guy off and on for 4 years. Recently I've noticed he never seems happy about anything I'm excited about. For example I got a really good grade on a final that he knew I was stressing about for weeks and all he said was good job and diverted the conversation.. Another example is I just bought my very own new car and I was so excited when I signed the papers and I called him up about it and all he had to say was "it's only a V6? You're excited about a V6"... Idk but little things like that make me upset about him because when he's excited about something I'm just so happy that he's happy but it never seems like he does the same for me. Do I just care more about him than he does me? I mean I've talked to him about it and he's like no I'm happy for you but you can tell he thinks I'm stupid for being so enthusiastic... It just hurts me that he can't be happy cause I'm happy.. Maybe I'm just with the wrong guy?
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It's early on in your lives and your relationship. In deciding whether or not he's the right guy, think about the relationship as a whole. It's not really whether he cares about you, it's more about your perception. Whether he cares about you or not, you'll probably continue wondering if he does whenever this happens and your feelings regarding this may start to be a problem. You need to consider if this is something that you want to go on for the rest of your life. Is it something that you can deal with? Does he have enough good qualities to outweigh this? Ten years from now, is this going to bother you even more? You don't want to set yourself up for divorce, but you don't want to make a rash decision because you've found a flaw in him. Everyone has flaws, is this one okay? Maybe it is, maybe it's not. The only thing that you can count on is that he's not going to change. Is this something that really, truly bothers you or something that you can get past? If you honestly can't get past it, he's not the guy for you. If you can somehow let this stop bothering you, then you should try sticking it out. Again, he's not going to change. It's not about making him fit you, it's about whether or not it fits the way it is. Whatever you decide, you won't be making a bad decision.
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Some people just aren't as enthusiastic as others. I'm actually the same way you described your boyfriend.
You see, When my husband got a new job I was super excited but I didn't jump and down for joy I just congratulated him. I also do not smile and I am not enthusiastic at all. Many assume that I am bitchy, mad, miserable but in fact I am very happy.
Some people also do not know how to show excitement the way others do. When someone gives me a gift, I thank them but I have a hard time showing appreciation the way they expect me to show it. This doesn't mean I don't like the gift nor am I grateful for it. It just simply means I don't know how to express myself sometimes.
This doesn't mean your boyfriend isn't happy or doesn't love you, I'm sure he does. Like I said he may just not be as upbeat as you. Sometimes it is a bit aggravating (I get it from my husband at times) but it's just who we are. It's a bit hard to judge though but I'm assuming this could be it?
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