about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

can anyone give me a site where there are heaps of pictures of emo/scene boys?
thanks

Here you go:

http://photobucket.com/images/emo%20guys/
http://photobucket.com/images/scene%20guys/

only search advicenators.com


--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

im 16/f and have been with my boyfriend for about 7 1/2 months.. i feel completely comfortable around him and trust him 110%. i lost my virginity to him about a month or two ago.. but this is my problem: i have no problem having sex with him, but i absolutely dread giving him handjobs or blowjobs.. why is this? why can i stand sex but not do the easy stuff? how can i get over this, and what hints do you have so i feel more at ease doing these things?

Everyone has their own sexual preferences. Some like to give hand jobs and blow jobs more than the actual sexual intercourse. You just happen to like the sex. There is nothing wrong with that- and you're completely fine and normal.
As for feeling more at ease for doing these things, you don't need to do anything you don't want to do. If your boyfriend can't accept this, then maybe he isn't the right guy. I'm not saying dump him or anything.. but he should at least be understanding. If he objects to you not wanting to give him a hand job or blow job, tell him he probably wouldn't like to be fingered up the butt either.. [haha.. sorry.. just had to say that].
Do what you want.. don't feel pressured to do something you aren't confident you want to do.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

For the past 3-4 years(yes, years), *every* dream I've has had something silver in it. The precious metal, not the color. I've had dreams with silver swords, guns, rings, canes, glasses, cars, and a few completely silver buildings. The silver object is always a tool, something that I use or carry on me. I'm usually the only one with a silver item. In the dreams I treat the silver items normally, I don't particularly value or protect them, I never mention them to anyone, and they're never the central focus of the dream; they're just there. My dreams are extremely varied other than this, there's not usually anything else that connects them.

I'm interested in what you think this could mean, if anything. Thanks!

theymos

Hey Theymos!

I have to say.. this is really interesting. I've never heard of anything like this.

Anyway.. I've search a few Dream Interpreter sites.. and here is what they say:

http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/searchcsv.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=silver
To see silver in your dream, symbolizes the moon, intuition and the feminine aspects of yourself.
Silver represents justice and purity. It is symbolic of some protective energy.

http://www.freakydreams.com/freaky.htm
Your Dream: silver
Words like silver: Shiny. Ductile. Highly value. Looking for the worthy part in you.

http://www.dreamhawk.com/dyd-s2.htm#silver
SILVER Old precious or sad memories or intuitions. Things from the past that can be precious or tarnished.


According to this.. you're either reminiscing on sad moments in your life.. and the silver objects in your life are showing that you are still upset over them. You could also be trying to find self-value [but you seem like a good, confident person.. so I don't see how this could be true].

I don't know.. but this question sure caught my eye.. and I hope maybe some of those sites and interpretations help you out a bit.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

I care a lot about what people think about me. I get very sad and angry and I don't know how to stop. How can I care less?

Just be yourself, and do what you like. I know this sounds like it won't help.. but if you just start to ignore people.. you won't really care how they view you. Like say you want to wear a certain thing or something... just wear it.. don't care what people will think. Just do what makes you comfortable. If you care too much about what people think.. you won't be your own individual self.. and you won't learn to be your own person and make decisions by yourself.

If you need anymore advice on the topic, inbox me and I will try to expand my answer!

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

15/f about 5'2 95-97lbs

Is that normal? I have been rail thin/stick skinny my whole life and a lot of people think I have an eating disorder. Infact one time I didnt have lunch and I made a comment about it and how I was hungry and she was like "Oh, thats how you do it".

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel wide. I started eating very healthy except on the weekends Im more lenient(sp).

Hello.

First off- here's this great site that can help:
http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm

And according to that, and me:
Your BMI [Body Mass Index] is 17.6

The chart on the left says:
BMI Categories:

* Underweight =

[view]

How do you ask a guy for his cell number?
I like this boy at my camp, but he doesnt go to my school or live in my town. I want to ask him his phone number but i'm not sure how i should go about asking it. We are friends, but he flirts with me ALL THE TIME. Camp is over next week (July 20) so i have to get the number by then. He's been saying stuff like "My ringtone is beautiful girls" so i think he wants me to have it. I dont know how to ask though. PLEASE answer by the 20th.
P.S. we get autograph books but i'm not ending camp until August some time so i wont get my book until then, so i can write my number in his book but he cant write his in mine.

*sorry it's long!*
but thank you SO MUCH!

Hey.

The only way you're going to get his number is to straight up ask him. He can't just read you mind. Next time you see him- just say, "Hey! So I was wondering- what is your cell phone number?". Just like that. Plain and simple. And you won't seem desperate, because you're just asking for his number.. its not going to make a teenage guy [who normally doesn't think about things like this] think you're desperate. That's probably TOO much thinking for him to do, not to insult him =].

And if you don't want to do that- if you write your number in his book or whatever- and he would probably call... and if its your cell phone number- then his will probably show up on your caller I.D. and you'll have his number.

Maybe get his MySpace, AIM, facebook, etc. That wouldn't hurt. Then you can ask him over one of those for his number.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

is 135 pounds for a 5'3" female at age 15 over weight? what would you think of them?

Hey!

This is a great website to help you:
http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm

According to that site, your BMI is 23.9

The chart on the left says:

BMI Categories:

* Underweight = less than 18.5
* Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
* Overweight = 25-29.9
* Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

You're fine; you fall under the "Normal Weight" category.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

I have a 3 year old Golden Retreiever and well something happened to her leg. so she can't really walk or run well. she limps. she's getting surgury done in a few weeks... but when i look at her everyday, she looks soooo bored. all she does is lay around all day.

What are some things I can do with her so that she is not bored all the time, but remember she cannot walk well. Oh and she's a scardy cat... ha ha ha. We tried teaching her how to swim but she only goes in foot deep. any ways to get her to swim?

This may not be much help, but I'll give you suggestions on what I do with my 3 dogs.
By your dog a chew toy or some other toy that they can play with, that you can also play with them. Like something that has two sides, so they can bite one side, and pull, while you pull the other side. Trust me- EVERY one of my dogs like this.. even the 14 year old Carrie-Blue and the 8 year old Schnauzer. It is very entertaining to them- and they get a kick out of it.
That's really about the only thing you can do that doesn't involve them walking/running.
Forcing a dog to swim isn't the best idea.. a lot of dogs are afraid of water- even if its only a foot deep.

Did that help?
--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

i was looking at someones feedback, and almost all of their ones and twos said "rating changed by level 2 mod." when they were legite ratings because the person that answered the question gave crappy answers. why can the mods. change the rating if the person gave a bad answer?

Only Level 2 Moderators and up [only like 10 people] can change ratings, and they will only raise a rating if they feel there is a good reason. Most of the time, ratings will be raised from a 1- which should only be used if the answer was abusive and/or offensive. Ratings are hardly EVER raised if there isn't a good reason- and are hardly raised to a 5.

If you need more help, you can ask any L2 Moderators more questions... here is a list of all the Moderators:
http://www.advicenators.com/mod.php?mode=list


--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

sorry if its long.

14/f. me and my best friend were inseparable, until she got a new boyfriend. (i'll call my friend jen and her boyfriend zack.) jen started hiding lots of things from me, stuff we used to tell each other all the time. she started sneaking out and doing vandalism like spray painting, TPing, forking, egging, rubberbanding etc.
she told me this and told me not to tell ANYONE.
but im not sure i can do that. should i tell someone like my mom?
or do I keep quiet...?

The way I see it, you have 2 options here.. its just a matter of what you want the end result to be:

1. You can tell your mom. This way, your friend will get in trouble. You may not want your friend mad at you, but she needs to understand that she's doing things wrong- and she should be prepared to face the consequences. This option means you're doing the right thing, and you'll probably be considered a "tattle-tale".

2. You can not tell your mom. This way, you keep your friend's trust, and you two can still be friends. But- either way you chose- its still important to tell your friend that she's doing illegal things.. and its wrong. If she won't stop, you should probably confront your mom or hers.

Option 1 is the noble direction to take, and option 2 is the "friend" direction. Go with 2 first, then 1 if you really have to. Or go to the police if you feel it necessary.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

what does whine up mean? like from the song...i dont get it.

Its actually "Wind it up!" if you're referring to Gwen Stefani's song. It's a sex reference of some sort. I haven't quite figured it out yet...

Here are the lyrics:
Wind It Up lyrics by Gwen Stefani.
High on the hills with the lonely goatherd, lay-od-lay-od-lay-he-hoo
Yodell back with the girl and goatherd, lay-od-lay-od-low

Wind it up
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

(Yeah)
This is the key that makes us wind up
When the beat comes on, the girls all line up
And the boys all look, but no, they can't touch
But the girls want to know why the boys like us so much

They like the we dance, they like the way we work
They like that way that L.A.M.B. is going across my shirt
They like the way my pants, it compliments my shape (She's crazy, right?)
They like the way we react everytime we dance

Everytime the bass bangs, realize it calls your name
Let the beat wind you up, and don't stop till your time is up
Get in line now

Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

You've got to let the beat get under your skin
You've got to open up, and let it all in
But see, once it gets in, the poppin' begins
And then you find out, why all the boys stare

They're trying to bite our style
Trying to study our approach
They like the way we do it, so original
[ Wind It Up lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
I guess that they are slow, so they should leave the room
This beat is for the clubs, and cars that go

Everytime the bass bangs, realize it calls your name
Let the beat wind you up, and don't stop till your time is up
Get in line now

Uh, uh, uh, wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
(Ya'll ready)

Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

Uh huh, it's your moment
Uh huh, come on girl, you know you own it
Uh huh, you know your key is still tick-tockin'
Hell yeah, and you know they're watchin'

Get it girl, get it, get it girl
Get it girl, get it, get it girl
To the font, to the side,
To the back, but don't let him ride

Keep goin' girl, it's your night
Don't let him steal your light
I know he thinks you're fine and stuff
But does he know how to wind you up?
(Come on)

Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low, hey!


--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

does smooching leags to pregnancy?

Smooching as in kissing? No, it doesn't. Pregnancy is caused by a penis entering a vagina and sperm fertilizing a woman's egg to create a zygote. If you're just kissing- you won't get pregnant.

=]

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

was there ever a case in which the movie was better than the book?

I'm not sure if you're talking about a book/movie specifically, but I am going to say no. Although the movies are a joy to see [and I love them all the time], the book goes into farther detail than the movie can, but the movie can't be infinitely long, so this is inevitable. The best way to not be disappointed is to see the movie first, then read the book. That way, by the time you're done reading the book- you'll have forgotten how much the movie left out!

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

hey, i know you have your own problems to deal with and stuff but. i dont know i need some advice and you seem understanding and stuff. so, if you could help me with this, thatd be great.

nothing seems to be going good for me lately.
i was going out with this boy that i really really liked. alot.
boys tend to not treat me well..ive been punched by boyfriends, slapped..stuff like that.
& this boy was one of the only boyfriends ive had who treated me good. things were going great for about 4 months..up until lately when he started calling me stupid, ugly, and fat.
it got to me.
big time.

about 3 years ago, i became obsessed with losing weight. it started off with just like, cutting down portions. then last year, it got worse. i cut out eating all together sometimes.
now, it hurts to eat. mentally and physically.
i know i screwed my metabolism up, and now i can only eat little things.
and i always feel so bad after i eat. i feel really disappointed to the point where i just want to throw up.
and im constantly feeling big, fat, and [for lack of better words-] whale-ish.

and so when my boyfriend started being kinda rude to me, all that came back.

so i thought if i dumped him and cut him off from my life completely i would feel better about myself.

well. i did.
but i only feel worse.

i feel that if i lost weight i would feel better about myself
so ive been excercising more and trying to eat right, but i cant seem to lose anything, which only makes me feel worse.

i dont know, its messed up.
do you have any advice?
about anything?
sorry this is long.

oh. idk if this helps but
im 16, 5'2, 98 lbs.

thank you for reading this.

Hello.

First, I want to say thank you for posting in my inbox. It means a lot to me, and I don't have my "own problems to deal with," leaving me with no time to help you- because if I did.. why would I even be on this site? I am here to help.. and if I was too busy to do that.. well I wouldn't be on here just about every day for hours upon hours.. lol.

Anyway... I know you'd hear this a lot had you posted to the pool [i.e. everyone], but you are IN NO WAY fat! If anything, you're really skinny.. and its probably not healthy that you're only 98 lbs.

http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

There is a site to calculate your BMI [Body Mass Index] which basically tells you that you're underweight, overweight, fine, etc.

According to this site, your BMI is 17.9.
According to the scale on the left:

BMI Categories:

* Underweight = less than 18.5
* Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
* Overweight = 25-29.9
* Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

You are underweight! You need to eat! If its painful emotionally and physically, you NEED to see a doctor right away!! Please!

As for the people that call you fat, ugly, stupid, etc. they are just JEALOUS. Jealousy is a strong, but evil human emotion. You are in no way fat, and I'm positive you're not stupid, and I'm also positive you aren't ugly, either.
So just stay away from jealous people, and find people who will love and support you no matter what for friends.

Also, go see that doctor!

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

I was wondering what code I could use to make pictures my caption on my pictures on myspace ... because I used to use this ...



and it won't work is there any other codes?

[IMG]URLHERE[/IMG]

And should work, without the quotes inside, of course. Plus, you need to have a shorter URL; www.tinypic.com or www.photobucket.com will help.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

wat does it mean to pop a girls cherry?

Popping a girl's cherry is breaking/tearing her hymen.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hymen

hy·men /ˈhaɪmən/[hahy-muhn]-noun-
a fold of mucous membrane partly closing the external orifice of the vagina in a virgin.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

ok my mom had been totally freaking out about my b.f and that i spend to much time with him and that im never home or help around the house ...any ideas????

She's just being a typical mom. She's being a little possessive because she's just naturally like that, as all moms are. It starts when you start school when you're about 4 or 5. Its a step showing them that you're growing up.. something that all mom's would most likely rather avoid. The next step is graduating kindergarten, then elementary school, then middle school, then your first boyfriend, then graduating high school, then going to college. Moms don't always want their "little babies" to grow up. She doesn't want to lose you, and she's using your boyfriend as a scapegoat. Just maybe cut back on time you spend with him. I'm not saying completely forget about him, but balance your time between him and your family time. Do some extra chores you normally wouldn't do to show her that you still do help around the house.

Don't get mad at your mom, she loves you and she always will!

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

Alright. I have a bit of a dialema on my hands. I really like this guy [who happens to be my boyfriend]. I think I might love him but I'm scared to say so because of previous experiences.
But I goofed up. Big time. I cheated and gave a guy a handjob. It was a dare. And I know that doesn't make it any better at all, but you have to understand, I didn't want to.
So I told my boyfriend because guilt has been bothering me for a while and apparently, alot of people knew about it. He was mad. I haven't talked to him in three days unless you count a minute long conversation yesterday.
I need to know he's okay, that he doesn't hate me; even though I know he has every right to. I betrayed him. So do I try and get him to talk to me? Or do I back off? I don't want to bother him and make him more angry but I don't want it to seem like I don't care enough to see how he's doing! Argh! I'm so damn stupid. Why would I do that?!

First off.. you claim to love your boyfriend, but you went off and gave a guy a hand job. Is this some odd way of proving your love to him, or am I just crazy? I think that you definitely hurt him. I know if I was going out with a girl, and she did what you did, whether it was a dare or not, I wouldn't be to happy with her. You know you cheated, and that is always the first step to solving any problem- admit you have the problem. Telling him, while it may not seem like it was the best idea at the time, or even right now, was actually an honorable thing to do, and at least he found out from you and not someone else. That was probably the best way for him to hear it, although it may not seem like it now.
I would definitely give him space, because he's always obviously not ready to talk to you yet. Just try to contact him once more, and tell him that whenever he's ready to talk- you'll be there.
I figure he already knows you're sorry.. but to him right now, sorry doesn't cut it. You cheated, and that is all he can see it as at this time.
So yes, just give him space until he's ready to talk. And next time someone dares you to do something you know is wrong and is cheating on your boyfriend, don't do it. So what if people call you "chicken" or whatever.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

is it delicious? what is it made of? where can i buy it? thanks!

Hello!

Here is a website that might help you out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kimchi

From there: "Kimchi is the most common Korean banchan eaten with rice along with other banchan dishes. Kimchi is also a common ingredient and cooked with other ingredients to make dishes such as kimchi stew (kimchi jjigae) and kimchi fried rice (kimchi bokkeumbap). Moreover, because it is both flavorful and healthy, the world-wide appeal and popularity of kimchi continues to grow."

So apparently it is tasty and healthy. And if you scroll down on that site I gave you, it tells you what is in it.

You can probably find more information on where to buy it/ what's in it/ how it tastes by using this search:

only search advicenators.com


--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

so basically there is this guy and we used to be really really close and now its not so much anymore he like cared for me a wiked lot and stuff and like we were really really close and i ended up reaking it off with him because i just kinda lost feelings then i dated someone else.. after that we started talking agian and stuff.. but he fucked it up wiked bad and so i ended it again and dated someone else meawhile he would ALWAYS ask me to hang out with him and stuff because he really really liked me and stuff
Kate xo says: so finally i started hanging out with him a gain and he took me to like this little secluded place and stuff and thats when i started caring about him again and like i had a boyfriend at the time and he tried to kiss me so i stopped him.. because im not a cheater.. and then i told him that i cared about him again on the phone that night so a week later i dumped my boy friend for him and two weeks later he like told me that we should jut be friends and now when i talk to him about it and stuff he just says that he's really really confused and he dosnt know what he wants us to be and i've given him time and i dont know what to do anymore. i cry over him and i NEVER cry.. i dopnt sleep at night.. and i cant do it anymore. but when he came over the other day he looked at me the way that he used to so thats the end

Well.. you were right.. this is complicated, but it surely isn't long. I've seen WAY longer questions on here before, lol.
Anyway.. I can see that you two have a long and complicated relationship, whether it be as a couple or just as friends. He's giving you mixed signals when he smiles at you or whatever and then doesn't want a relationship. Don't worry.. he's like most guys. I'm going to assume you two are 16. That's about my age [I'm 16 this November] and I know for a fact that most guys our age don't know what the hell they want. They are just as confused as everyone else our age. So, he's definitely a normal teenage guy. But its obviously causing you a lot of grief- which you claim doesn't happen often [i.e. you NEVER cry]. I can tell you really like him, and I can understand what you're going through in wanting someone you virtually can't have. It's HORRIBLE! How much time exactly have you given him? A few days? If so, that isn't enough time. A few weeks? That still may not be enough time. If you've given him about a month and a half or so- then I would have to say that you should move on. If he can't make a decision in almost 2 months, then what will it be like if you ever get married.. you may have to wait YEARS to actually get married- as he may want to reevaluate his decision. There are times when it is appropriate to make decisions quickly or slowly. This one is in between.. and he's moving closer to a "slow" decision maker.. and that's probably not the best thing. There are plenty of guys out there that won't make you wait.. and you should definitely look into being with one like that. If you've ever visited my column before, you will see that I continually tell people that love isn't worth waiting for. There are other things/people out there that will give you 10 times the happiness you see having with this one person who is making you wait.

Did that help?
--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker