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Give him space?
Alright. I have a bit of a dialema on my hands. I really like this guy [who happens to be my boyfriend]. I think I might love him but I'm scared to say so because of previous experiences.
But I goofed up. Big time. I cheated and gave a guy a handjob. It was a dare. And I know that doesn't make it any better at all, but you have to understand, I didn't want to.
So I told my boyfriend because guilt has been bothering me for a while and apparently, alot of people knew about it. He was mad. I haven't talked to him in three days unless you count a minute long conversation yesterday.
I need to know he's okay, that he doesn't hate me; even though I know he has every right to. I betrayed him. So do I try and get him to talk to me? Or do I back off? I don't want to bother him and make him more angry but I don't want it to seem like I don't care enough to see how he's doing! Argh! I'm so damn stupid. Why would I do that?!
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"I'm so damn stupid"
Slutty acts call for such a reaction from your boyfriend.
You can always turn a dare down, and saying that you couldn't is a bunch of bullshit. Don't deny the fact you could have.
Did you not turn it down because you wanted to? I don't know many people that would do that for the hell of it... (I lied. I do, but they're a bunch of sluts who fuck anything that moves. Is that what you are or are becoming?)
Give him some space, I'm sure for one he isn't happy with the entire fiasco sifting through the school halls. Hell, I know I wouldn't be happy knowing my GF just did that to some other guy, and I'd be incredibly pissed to know she'd do it off of a dare and didn't have the balls -rhetorically speaking- to actually turn it down.
Leave him alone, but try to talk to him here and there, to let him know you're at least interested. Just say you apologize for being a slut to him by way of text, either by phone or by aim etc.
Completely ignoring him would make him think you've moved on and he should do (if he isn't already preparing to do that.)
As for you last question "Why would I do that?"
That's really fucking great. Why would you? Give it some thought and rethink where your heart really is. If you actually loved this guy would you have done what you did? Why did your past relationships break up?
Don't make up excuses for yourself saying "it was a dare I HAD to." That's a bunch of bullshit.
You've gotta rethink your priorities.
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THAT heppend to me once but it wanst that sexual it was just a kiss a big kiss and whikle i was gooing out wit this guy i was in love with but we were in a fight so i no the whole guilt thing give him some time to cool off depending on when you told him about a day or 2 and then try talking to him and explaing to him that you didnt want to do it , it just happend and try explaining everything you feel 4 him and that the other guy means nothing to him......<0r> you can just say im sorrry and let him decide wat he wants to do..
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First off.. you claim to love your boyfriend, but you went off and gave a guy a hand job. Is this some odd way of proving your love to him, or am I just crazy? I think that you definitely hurt him. I know if I was going out with a girl, and she did what you did, whether it was a dare or not, I wouldn't be to happy with her. You know you cheated, and that is always the first step to solving any problem- admit you have the problem. Telling him, while it may not seem like it was the best idea at the time, or even right now, was actually an honorable thing to do, and at least he found out from you and not someone else. That was probably the best way for him to hear it, although it may not seem like it now.
I would definitely give him space, because he's always obviously not ready to talk to you yet. Just try to contact him once more, and tell him that whenever he's ready to talk- you'll be there.
I figure he already knows you're sorry.. but to him right now, sorry doesn't cut it. You cheated, and that is all he can see it as at this time.
So yes, just give him space until he's ready to talk. And next time someone dares you to do something you know is wrong and is cheating on your boyfriend, don't do it. So what if people call you "chicken" or whatever.
--Jack
(15/m)
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