I'm Em.
I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.
I dig art, music and books.
I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.
I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.
Photo:
Yayoi Kusama
"Infinity Mirror Room"
Performance art.
Mirrors, soft sculptures.
Castellane Gallery, New York.
1965.
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 391
Last Update: May 22, 2014
Visitors: 31849
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Colleges & Universities
View All
|
| |
|
My best friend (D) told me not to long ago that she had sex when she was 12, now shes 14. I was shocked and disgusted too, because people always thought she was a whore. My other best friend told me that D told her that it happened more than once. Once in the bed, once in the shower, once on the beach, and once somewhere else, and a couple other times. This was all with her boyfriend (M). M died last year, and he was only 13. Anyway, she didn't tell me it happened all those times,because she knew I'd be even more disapointed I guess. When D told me about the first time, I told her I had lost respect for her. I think she is a whore. One time in class we were counting all the guys she dated, and I was naming random names and she would be like Yup. The total was 17. D turned 14 a few months ago. Would you agree that D is a whore? Also, would it be wrong to stop talking to her, because of that. (link)
|
A whore, in what we think is someone who sleeps around alot. This girl, even though it is shunned in our society, had sex at a young age. She obviously liked this guy alot and it was her choice wether she did it or not. I know people who have dated more than that many guys or slept with more than just one guy, but i dont hate them or have lost respect for them.
This girl is your friend. Your jugding who she is because of her own choices to be sexual or not. It hasnt changed her as a person. If she had never told her you wouldnt have had a problem with her.
I know it is hard to accept she could do something so young but cmon shes your friend and she is still a good person. I think it is wrong to stop talking to her because of that. Your basing your entire friendship on what she did with her boyfriend when that is none of your buisness. D is a whore in the way she has slept around but just becuase she is one doesnt make her a bad person.
I suggest you think about what kind of friend you are being here. How can you just lose respect for someone who has opened up to u and told you something that was THEIR buisness not yours.
I have a friend who makes some bad choices of sleeping around with alot of guys but she is still a fantastic girl. Its her choice what she does in her privacy and in her relationships and none of my buisness. I worry for her and if she asks me for advice on a guy i will tell her its not safe to be doing this but i cant stop her and im not going to hate her for what shes done because the fast is she still is the friend i have always adored and nothings going to change that.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
I have two friends who have decided to become vegans/vegetarian. Please tell me if theres a difference. I've heard there is but I'm not very educated on this type of stuff. Also, thay keep telling me that being a vegetarian is way more healthy. I don't think thats true because they don't get protein from meat. I respect they're lifestyle choice and I'm not trying to say that they're wrong or anything like that but is it really healthier or what?
kthnx for the help, (link)
|
Ok vegetarians dont eat meat but they eat vegetables, fish and dairy products.
Vegans on the other hand dont eat ANY dairy products so no cheese or milk or yogurt only vegetables.
They don't get protein from meat but they get it from other foods like soy and stuff. Its personal opinion of what is a healthier lifestyle. Its healthier in the way they are getting more vegetables in them but its healthier for you to eat meat as meat provides majour sustinance in our bodies. If you eat responsibly on whatever diet you are on, then your healthy. So, both of you are having a healthy lifestyle choice.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
There is this girl who i know used to like me a lot. Im not sure if she still does. I never thought i had feelings for her before, but now i realize i do... a lot. i think i may have came off as immature/annoying when i talked to her yesterday, and now she wont pick up when i call her, so i dont really want to talk to her and be annoying.. Do you think i still have a chance with her or shld i give it up? (link)
|
This girl probably still likes you alot and you could have said something that upset or offended her.
Don't call every hour to try and get her to answer because it will just annoy her and she'll end up getting mad at you.
Maybe wait a while like a day or two then call her and apoligise for how you acted. Its time you told her how you feel about her before you lose her.
If she refuses to answer your calls, then maybe you could do something sweet like leave a not and a rose at her doortstep saying that your sorry if you hurt her or annoyed or whatever and that you like her. Shes going to read the letter so theres one way you can get her attention.
Its not to late to give it another go so dont be afraid to.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
me && my boyfriend have bein having sex for a while now, well now im sorta wishing i would have waited.
i love having sex with him, && pleasing him. And we are comfortable with everything and we're trying to talk about everything more openly now.
&& before sex he always asks if im sure and everything, and normally i am, but afterward i kinda wish we hadnt, but sometimes i dont.
how do i tell him a want to slow it down every now and then??
Thanx n advance (link)
|
Its perfectly normal for anyone to regret or wish they hadn't gone so far after they've done it but its fine if you want to slow it down.
Just sit down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel, that you love doing it and all but you just want to slow it down for a while. He'll understand. The only way to tell him is to say how you feel and just explain to him what you want to do. When you start to feel more comfortable again, then you can continue to develop the sexual aspect of your relationship. If anythings uncomfortable for you in your relationship dont be afraid to tell your partner.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
I'm turning 14 and I dont know what to do for my birthday. I dont want to go shopping, did that last year. I dont want to go to the movies. I doubt i can go to a water park or anything. I dont want to have a party or a sleepover. So what is there to do, because I need to think quick. Thanks. (link)
|
Every year i go through the same phase of "what am i gona do?"
When you think about it, theres like a million things you could do. If you have a few bestfriends then you could do something different like go rock climbing or have a day in the city just lookin around having lunch at a nice city cafe and just enjoying yourself. If you live near any rivers or beaches a day at the beach is always fun (with lots of hot surfers might i add) or suba diving, white water rafting, whatever is available. Paintball is pretty popular too. If theres any concerts going on around where you live then going to a gig with some friends can be good. Theres this laser tag thing i dont know if theres a place near where you live but i've heard from some of my friends its fun.
You dont HAVE to go out anywhere, you could have a day to yourself. A spa retreat or doing the things you love to do like maybe having a long candle-lit bath then getting some of your fav movies to watch while your sitting on the couch with all your favourite snacks.
Usually my mum says i can either have a party somewhere or get something, so if there is a certain thing you want then maybe ask for that. My family (as lame as it sounds) has a mini family party which is like me my mum and my bro and sis having partie pies, sausage rolls, chips, cake and anything else i like.
Going to your fav restaurant or a nice one with family and maybe one or two of your bestfriends can always be fun to as the previous advice said.
Just have a think about whats in your area and if you don't feel really like doing anything then you don't have to! You can just enjoy some time to yourself relaxing.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
If I wanted a boyfriend, but my parents wont let me, should I go about it the sneaky way and not tell them ? What would be the cons and pros to that if I did? I'm turning 14. (link)
|
You know what i think? If you love a guy no matter how old you are or what your parents think, you date him!
Most peoples parents tell them they cant have relationships until a certain age because they worry about them getting hurt, and in these days about sex.
If your intuition is telling you that you should date him and you want to then do it. Who and when you date is up to you and no one else. What you do is another story.
Pros:
1.Your doing what you want and thats all that matters.
2.Your happy.
3.Its great for young teens to experience relationships and begin to develop their emotions also to help guide them later in life when their relationships become more commited.
Cons:
1.Getting caught.
2.Hard to see your boyfriend outside of school.
3.Lying to your parents (guilt).
Look, if you love a guy and you want to be with him then go out with him. Even if later down the track you tell your parents they can't FORCE you to dump him.
Do whatever you feel is right!
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXxx
|
how do you stay bestfriends with a guy: i know this guy who is only bestfriends sometime: we flirt alot but we both know that were only friends& it doesnt mean anything:: like what could i say to flirt with him but for him to know its only a friendship?
URGENT! (link)
|
Im not a guy BUT i do have a bestfriend who is a guy. Um why would you want to flirt with your bestfriend? Usually when you flirt with someone it means a bit more than friendship. A bestfriend, wether is a guy or girl, is someone you trust and enjoy being yourself around. Me and my bestfriend have like almost everything in common and no conversation is ever boring or awkward. You cant really flirt with a guy without them thinking you want more then a friendship. Or you could say "im flirting with you but only as friends". Do you like this guy? Like you cant really make someone your bestfriend you both just decide that you 2 are good friends and hes the one you trust out of all your friends.
My advice which is totally off the question is: Dont TRY.
It seems like your trying to make him your bestfriend and trying to make him want to be it. Friends are just supposed to love you for who you are and you don't have to change anything about yourself to make them like you.
If hes only a bestfriend sometimes, then he isnt really your bestfriend. a bestfriend is someone who is ALWAYS your friend not just a temporary resource.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
alright well theres this guy that i really like: but in his past he did some "stuff" with this other girl: i dated him for awhile&the most we did was makeout &then we broke up cuz we couldnt hang out: well he could i couldnt :( now were back to me liking him again: and my parents wont let me even come close to him!!
what do i do???
hheelllpp
(link)
|
It's easy to fall back inlove with an ex and sometimes its better to move on. If you truly love this guy and he feels the same about you then i believe you should do what you think is right, whether that means seeing each other in secret or not. You guys cant see each other so what makes you think your going to be able to overcome that obstacle again? As much as i love to say to people you do what you want to do and don't let your parents get in the way, i think your parents are right to not let you get close to him.
They have become more strict now so your problem of not seeing each other has worsened. Are you able to go through this unlike last time when you guys couldnt? Honey, if you think you can make it and he thinks you can make it then nothings stopping you. But if you think its going to break you guys up again, then its better not going through that pain all over again.
Your still young! Theres going to be a million guys out there! So dont worry about one.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
It goes like this.
This friend of mine has a five and a half long distance relatioship with some guy.
He came back 2 weeks ago. She found out he was exchanging emails (be carefull when you call me LOVE...cause you know...her!!!).
Well she decided to forgive him just cause she loves him REALLY BAD. Even though he presented a couple of lame excuses.
Unfortunatelly... his mother Hates her. She is like.."I give you 5000euros if you dump that bitch" and I am not Joking. She really said that thing.
Also...HIS friends hate her. You know how it goes...they hate seeing him NOT fucking other girls etc...so they told him that SHE has been cheating on him for 2 years.
The guy knows that a lie but chooses to believe it and starts hating her and ignoring her cause hey...its summer time..and everyone wants to be free on summer time right? Cause its mating season...
On the mean time...the girl has been crying non stop, she is not sleeping at all. She called him and he was like "Dont call me all in tears and screw up my Night Out" and hang up on her (What A Dick!!!).
So, his friends eventually OPENLY told him that they lied to him and for some reason* he decided to stay mad at her and asked her not to call him for a while.
*and by some reason, I mean that she has been running after him, crying, apologising (even though she made nothing wrong) and giving excuses (even though HE should be the one giving the excuses), and probably that makes him feel like a REAL man...like he is Wanted...he is flattered by that, you know what I mean?
What I want from you is.
This day one of them not talking.
Will he call her if she doesn t? Answer just YES or NO. Dont explain why you believe weather he calls or not.
Will he eventually realise what a dick he s been? I believe that YES he will. And that probably in the future SHE will be the one NOT wanting him back cause he proved how rotten he can be. She just cant see it now cause she is hurt and loves him.
Any advice I could give to the girl? She wont go out with her friends...she does not want to eat 5 kilos of ice cream...she does not want a girls night out...she does not want to get drunk...she just cries. She does not eat or sleep...just cry non stop. Waiting for her cellphone to ring.
(link)
|
Obviously your pissed about this and i would be to. No, he wont call her. If he does it will be to tell her off and say "why havent u been calling me?". No, he wont realise what a dick hes been, he will just move on to another girl because hes a selfish jerk.
This girl is sad because the guy she has been inlove with for so long treats her like shes nothing.
What you need to do is be a good friend and tell her exactly how it is. DONT call this guy, forget about him. Make her see what hes doing to her and that if it was YOU in HER situation, she would want you to do the same thing. She deserves a hell of alot better than him and she needs someone to tell her straight. She might get mad at you or upset but in the end she will be glad you opened her eyes. It will take time for her to get over it as it was a very long relationship but its better trying now that a year later when shes having no contact with him and still expecting him to call. She is wasting her life on a loser and should have someone who is worth it. You need to be the dominant friend right now and be honest. Go over her house and don't leave until she lets out all her emotions (make it a sleepover that wasnt exactly planned). It's going to take her a long time to get over him but she needs to start NOW! You take her phone and turn it off, don't let her have it all night. Hug her and tell her what a great person she is and deserves better.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
I got a kitten in the winter she is getting bigger now but I was wondering when cats go through heat or whatever to they call it do they bleed like dogs do? I was also wondering because i think she is going through it now what to expect...she meows like constantly.
Any Answers?? (link)
|
Yes cats do bleed while they are in heat. It is normal for a cat to act like it is in pain during this time so don't worry about the meowing it's normal. I have heard that cats can get pregnant from around 6 months onwards so i'd keep her away from any male cats(by the way the scent of her being in heat can be smelt by male cats from quite a far distance, my sisters cat used to be harrassed by the neighbours cat ALL the time). If you don't want her getting pregnant or bleeding i suggest you get her tubes tied (spayed).
Your cat being in heat will last from 4-7 days if you didn't already know that (just a fact i thought id throw in there).
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
Ok, so a couple of days ago, my mom and i went walking at a local track. I jogged one lap, walked two, and jogged another. I went 4 times around it. My legs have been hurting since then. (It was 3 days ago, to be exact.) Is this natural? I mean, I know i'm out of shape, but should my calves feel like they are really cramped up?? (link)
| |
ALWAYS stretch before you do any excercise. I always thought it was pretty stupid but i ended up hurting my ankles alot if i didnt do it. Make sure to do this before you go for a run or jog or walk. If your out of shape or haven't been excercising for a while then your muscles arent used to that strain and are hurting. If you continue regular exercise the pain will go away.
|
15/f
i want to get my tounge pierced. i have parental consent.
what should i know about it? how much does it hurt? is caring for it easy? what else do i need to know about it?
like, people who have their tounge answer please (link)
|
My sister got hers done and ive had afew friends who have gotten it done. They said it doesnt hurt much, so dont get to nervous about it. You have to wash your mouth out regularly with mouth disinfectant (listerine) and you will talk like you've bitten your tongue for about a week or 2. You shouldnt eat solid foods like meats and vegetables. Stick to soups and liquids. My sisters swallowed afew of her tongue rings but its not that bad. Ask the person whos peircing you what foods you can eat and how long you will have to eat them for until you can eat solids again. Washing your mouth out with listerine is a must and do it afew times a day otherwise it can become infected and quite nasty.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
which foods/vitamins will help me to increase my sexual stmina and libido? (link)
|
Eating lots of raw celery-this works better on guys as it helps promote production of testosterone.
Chocolate-which releases endorphins in your body to make you feel good.
Oysters,Asparagus,Bananas,chili,Caviar,figs,garlic,honey,onions,Pine nuts, truffles, strawberries, beats, cherrys, cucumber and Rasberries can also help.
Regular excercise, eating low fat foods and being on a healthy diet can also increase your sexual stamina.
|
hello..
im stuck.. right now im in a serious relationship, weve been together for nearly a year... and things are changing.. its like its me making all the effort, yet he goes threw phases, like one weekend it will be me he'l want to see,t then he wont want to see me for another week then go fishing or something, he says hes not bored of me or anything and he shouldnt be cause we only see each other 2 times a week.. and the other part to the story is theres another guy who i havent done anything with, yet he sends me roses and all that kind of stuff.. ive been with my bf now for a yr and ive never got anything like that.. i just feel like i need to be somewhere else to further enhance my carreer, yet the only reson im here is for him.. and i really do love him so i cant let go, but i just dont no how to make him see that hes not appreciating me enough or anything..
wat should i do..is it time for quits, even though i love him??
(link)
|
Its come to the point in your relationship where you just need to give it one last chance. Sit down with him and tell him exactly whats bothering you. Tell him you don't feel appreciated that your the one who seems to be having do to all the effort. If it continues to be this way after you talk to him, then its time to move on. It is hard to leave someone you love but if sometimes its better to let them go then to try and keep going because in the end it just ends up twice as worse and you end up twice as hurt.
You deserve to be appreciated and adored and if hes not giving you that then you should move on to someone who will give you what you need and you give them what they need in return.
It will hurt for a while but sooner or later you will start to feel better and eventually move on from him.
Relationships are meant to be something that both of you enjoy and sometimes you have problems in relationships but it seems like your not enjoying this relationship anymore.
I don't know how much i can push this on you but you do deserve to be loved and to love back. Love isnt one sided and thats whats happening in your relationship.
I hope your okay and everything turns out ok.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXieXxX
|
|
So, my boyfriend has the WORST breath in the world!! Whenever we kiss i smell it and it is not pleasant! I NEED HELP NOW BEFORE I SEE HIM AGAIN! I really don't want to be mean and straight up tell him, but I would rather not continue this fear of being close to him! PLEASE HELP!! (link)
|
Lol ok being a couple means that you can be honest with each other even if it hurts. Next time you see him you need to just tell him he has a slight bad breath problem..bring some strong mints with you. He'll understand. Just say "Baby..i love you but your breath stinks". He's not going to be utterly heart broken if you tell him he has bad breath, your just telling the truth.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
(IM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX! but i think it fit best under this category)
alright well i really like this one guy& he has had allooott more experience than me and we both like eachother& i sort of want to catch up: were sort of dating but idk? and i dont want him to get "bored" with me?
what do i do? (link)
|
Ok first of all if your not sure about doing something, then dont do it. Any guy who gets bored of a girl for not being more affectionate and sexual is really no guy i would want to be dating. I can understand you would want to be experienced like he is but if your not sure then just dont do it. You do whatever feels right. If your not comfortable doing those things yet, then let your relationship develop until you feel comfortable moving up to that next step. If hes a good guy, he will understand if your not quite ready to do that and he'll wait. When the time comes that you know what you want to do then you do it. Make sure you trust this guy alot and are comfortable doing anything with him before to try anything.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
I am in cross country, so i run about 5 days a week. I don't have my period at all for months during the time I am running every day. But when I stop running for a couple weeks then I do have it. So I know that it isn't regular because of the running. My question is though, is it unhealthy to not get your period? Even if it is because of doing some thing actually healthy. (link)
|
It depends when you started getting your period. If you only started it afew months ago and after your first or second period you missed it for a few months then thats totally normal. It is common to miss a period, but i've never heard of running making you stop your period. Running usually helps with stomach cramps though. If you have had your period for a while like a year and this happens everytime you start running and everytime you stop then i suggest you see a doctor.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
I like this guy he is really nice and all and I have a high feeling that he likes me. He goes to my church so I see him twice a week well maybe three time if there is activity or something then I see him there too. I don't talk to him but he looks at me alot, but that isn't the reason why I think he likes me. But I am really confused because I want to know if he does like me without asking because nobody knows I like him, so any help whatsoever would be nice. Thanks (link)
|
Well he knows you exist so thats a plus. Try to talk to him or start conversation with him before or after you get out of church and the way he acts around you can show if he likes you or not. If hes smiling alot or seems like hes nervous then he probably likes you. Get to know him and see if he wants to hang out some time.
Goodluck with this guy =]
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
Hi i just turned 15 2 days ago!! I have little breast buds and have had pubic hair for over a year. I started to get under arm hair about 2 months ago and get white discharge in my undies. I am wondering when will i get my period and when will my boobs get bigger? My mum is a C cup and i was wondering if i will be her size? I feel so left out that i do not have my period and i am scared i wont get it!!
Am i just a late bloomer?? I would love for people to answer my question and to tell me if im okay or not.
Thanks (link)
|
Your perfectly normal. Some people don't end up getting their period until their 18. Everyone gets their period at different times and your boobs are going to grow over time. You are just a late bloomer and theres nothing wrong that you havent blossomed yet. Lol dont worry you will get your period just be patient believe me, its nothing to get excited about. Your boobs will probably start to get growing once you get your period and your body starts to develop more.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|
Ok I'm a 14/f and this is my frist crush ever and I'm ssooo obsessed with this one guy who I barly know.Next month school will be starting agian and I made 2 promises for my self and my 2nd promise is how to be friends with him cuz if I just say if he wants to go out or somethin it might be tooo werid.Besides I wanna be friends with him frist and see if he really is a great guy for me.Any tips on how to get his attention? (link)
|
Aww your first crush thats so cute. i remember my first crush..that was in like kindergarten and i thought i was totally heart broken when he moved schools lol. Everyone is obsessed with their first crush. Odds are in a year you will have totally forgotten about this guy but for now, you go for him! When you see him walking past or in class just say hi and smile to him. Casually work your way up to a conversation and start to get to know him better and his interests. The more you talk to him the easier it will be to have conversations and to eventually ask him out somewhere. Slowly building your way up to the conversation helps you to become more confident in what you say and doesn't freak him out at the same time. Its good you want to see if hes a great guy first before asking him out because he could end up not being the prince charming you imagined. But then again, he could be Mr.Fabulous.
Goodluck with this guy!
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
|
|