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I'm Em.

I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.

I dig art, music and books.

I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.

I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.


Yayoi Kusama

"Infinity Mirror Room"

Performance art.

Mirrors, soft sculptures.

Castellane Gallery, New York.


Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 391
Last Update: May 22, 2014
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well theres this guy that i knew from school. hes a year older than me and ive never actually talked to him. but hes a twin and i had a class with his brother last year and i talked to him a little bit but only about the work and the class andstuff. well, i saw my crush about a week ago at mcd's and he stared at me when he walked by and even my mom commented that 'that metalhead is staring at you'. i wanted to know what that meant exactly because ive never spoken to him and ive never had a class with him or anything. and i also wanted to know how i could see him agian so i could myabe talk to him or let him know im interested but i dont know his friends and the ones i do know im not close enough with to actually know their phone numbers or emails or anything to ask them where he will be. i dont really know what he's into but i got along with his brother really well so i think i would get along with him too. sorry this is so long too but i would love some help.
oh im sixteen by the way. (link)
He probably remembered your face from school thats why he was staring or he could just be thinking "damn shes hot" lol. Seeing this guy in the playground, walking past him in the hallways, you can just smile and say hello to him and slowly build up to a conversation.

Now, he is a crush because you only like him so far on appearances because you havent got to know what his personalities like. I'm just saying that if you do get to know him he might not turn out the way you imagined, but then again he could be great!

Just try to talk to him more whenever your walking by him at school. If you see him with his brother be like "hey [name]! how have you been? i haven't spoken to you in a while so thought id say hi. And this is your brother? Hi there!..." and make a conversation from that. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

p.s once you start talking to him you'll find things you guys have in common and can ask for emails and stuff to keep in contact with.

Well, I gave up on the other guy. It was my second day of Jr. Lifeguarding and I got to know this boy, he's not very attractive, but I like him. He seemed interested and everything, but then he saw me talking to another guy and he seems distant now. He seems into my friend now, but she doesn't like him, but still flirts. I don't know how to get his attention back. Or if he's even interested. Should I give up or try and get his attention back, and if so, how? (link)
He might have thought that because you were talking to another guy your not interested in him so he's moved on to the next girl. If you like him then just tell him! Just walk up to him and tell him how you feel or ask him out whatever you prefer. Its better to just give it a try than to not do anything. If your friends not interested then you can go for him! He could like you but just feel sort of rejected because he saw you with another guy. If you want his attention try talking to him more or being a little more flirty. Hugging him, smiling at him, touching his arm when you talk can give him the impression you like him. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


Okay, so I have this friend that I work with. I hung out with him once and it was fun and all, but then he started asking me to hang out with him more. Last night, I THINK he implied that he's going to ask me out soon [as long as I understood what he said right] and I really don't want him to.

My dad is super overprotective and I don't want a boyfriend at all until I go to college so I don't have to deal with my dad. I don't want my friend to feel bad if I say no, and I don't want him to ask me out at all. I don't know how to avoid it. Any ideas?

Thanks in advance. (link)
You can tell him whenever you 2 are together like "Omg my dads so overprotective i so dont want a boyfriend till after college" or something but make it subtle. If he does ask you out you will just have to say no and let him accept it. It can be hard but it doesnt mean you guys cant be friends. It might hurt him for a while but if you don't want to go out with a guy then its your choice and no one elses. Odds are if he likes you he's just going to ask no matter what you say and you just have to say no. You can tell him you still want to be friends that your just not interested in a relationship right now. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

OK...Well my mom can be a total bitch some times. I hate it when she does shit just to piss me off. Its like she wants to fight and argue. I try to just brush it off but some times I just want to crack. Grr. And my dad could care less about me. I use to be super close to him before he got remarried. He doesnt care about me or anyone anymore. He doesnt even call me. I stay into it with both of them all the time. Some times all I do is cry. It upsets me so much cause they act like they dont care.

Someone plz tell me what I can do to make this better. Im about to give up.

Theres always issues with parents. No matter what happens, your parents do care for you even if they dont show it and they love you no matter what. He has someone new in his life now and it's a huge change for him. It's like have you ever had a boyfriend and you sort of blew off your friends to spend more time with him? He's not meaning to he probably doesn't realise that your hurt. I agree with the past advice of just being nice and having good behaviour for a while. He's settled in with his new wife but he's still got to learn how to give the same amount of attention to both of you. You could ask your dad if you him and his new wife could go out together somewhere to spend sometime together, so you could also gain a good relationship with her as well. Your parents will always care for you even though sometimes it's hard to believe. When your mum seems stressed just hug her. Just try to be good and spend some more time with your parents. They love you and no matter what you love them. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


my problem is with my best friend's mom. she's really competitive and wants her daughter to be the best at everything... grades, sports, popularity in school, whatever. well, any time i do better at something (which happens a lot actually), her mom kinda freaks out. i mean, she's always really nice to me, but i can tell it drives her crazy.

well, one thing her mom really wants is for my friend to have a boyfriend. but my friend is really shy around guys, and even though a lot of guys ask her out, she always says no. and her mom gets mad at her about it. and i know her mom is really jealous that i've had a boyfriend for over a year.

but now for the big problem. my boyfriend's family is really good friends with my friend's family. and lately, my friend's mom has been inviting them to do all this stuff, and always tells my boyfriend how much fun he's gonna have with my friend! its like shes trying to get them together. and then she (the mom) tells me all about what they did and how much fun they had together, like she's trying to rub it in and make me jealous. well, it's working, cuz i AM getting jealous, and really mad too!

i know... if my boyfriend ends up liking my friend, there's nothing i can do about it. i don't actually think he will, though... but i can't help worrying about it a little. but mostly i'm just mad that her mom is doing this! its like she can't stand me having this guy so she's trying to steal him away for her daughter.

i guess this isn't really a question, cuz there's probably nothing i can do about it. but if anyone has any advice for me, i'd love to hear it.
This woman is wayy to weird. Its good shes trying to make her daughter improve her grades but she doesn't NEED popularity or a boyfriend to be happy. Why she is doing this is a mystery. For some odd reason she wants her daughter to be better than you. You should try to talk to your friends mum about this. Not that you should impose on the way she brings up her children but about your boyfriend. If your friend is interested in another guy try to get them together, for her benefit of being with someone she likes and not someone her mum wants her to be with. If i was you i would be totally jelous to! If you can't talk to your friends mum try talking to your friend. Maybe she can try to let her mum relax a little. what this woman is doing is just wrong and hurting you. I'm just curious but doesn't your friend get annoyed by how her mum acts? Like constantly pushing her to strive for her best and be perfect? Talk to your friend or her mum (preferably) about this issue of your boyfriend and how you feel about it.

Ok so if you have sex in water.. like in the shower, bath, swimming pool etc and used a condom would that really work?

I'm just curious!

Also I am on birth control, have been for about 7 months, if I take it everyday roughly around the same time (give or take an hour or two) are you still able to get pregnant if you don't use a condom?

See my boyfriend and I were home alone the other night and we had no condoms left.. we were going to have sex but we spoke about it and decided to play around because i'm still a little scared about getting pregnant.

We were both totally ok with it!

19/f by the way and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years so we would like to start and have unprotected sex.

Thanks guys :) (link)
Well one of my friends mum was on the pill and she ended up getting pregnant. Its like a one in a million chance of it happening though. Thats all i had to say lol. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

Im in love and I thought that was enough but Idk. I wish he would show me that he loves me some times. He does some times and he treats me right but its like he doesnt care. I want to be with him and I dont want to take another break. I feel like im controlling. I guess its my fault... (link)
ok Number one. IT IS NEVER YOU FAULT! Alot of girls blame themselves about relationship problems and it ends up making them feel horrible and sometimes ruining the relationship. Odds are, this guy doesn't know how you feel about this. Maybe he thinks he is showing you he loves you. You need to talk to him about it. Just tell him how you feel and get him to understand from your point of view. He probably had no idea he was making you upset! Whenever theres an issue in your relationship you just need to sit down and talk about it. He loves you and you love him so he'll understand. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

My boyfriend broke up with me about 7 or 8 months ago. We only went out for a little over a month. He broke up with me for another girl and it took me a while to get over because i still liked him. We managed to stay friends because we chill with the same group of people. Just a few days ago my friend told me how he was talking about how he doesn't even know why he went out with me and it was only because i had a "huge rack" and a "nice butt". And now its really been making me upset and i dont know why, what can i do? (link)
This one guy i dated i was "inlove" with and after afew weeks he dumped me which took a while to get over. Then just as i started getting over him his bestfriend told me he only dated me because i was hot and he wanted a girlfriend so i kinda know how it feels. Your upset because you feel used, or thats how i felt. I cried my heart out and hated him for ages. You need to stay positive about the situation even though its bad. That guy didn't deserve you and it's a good thing your not with him because you probably would have ended up more hurt. You have so many greater qualities in yourself rather than just looks to give a guy and he was to stupid to realise that. Theres nothing much you can do but to just stay positive and go through the healing process. Over time you'll start to feel better and sure he'll still be a jerk but it won't matter as much. You'll find a guy who cherishes you for who you are and you'll know not to fall for any guys like that again. Im sorry about what happened but believe me you'll feel better after a while. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

can someone give me information on where i can work at 14 like wherei can work

and can a 14/15 year old work at ACME MARKETS

=] (link)
Um well in Australia, your alowd to start working from 14 and 9 months but you can get parent consent to work when your under that age limit. Anything thats convinient and near by that won't be much hassle to get to would be a good job choice but finding somewhere that you would enjoy working at would be even better. I dont know what acme markets is? so i cant answer that. Most places you can ask for an application or type up a resume and hand it in. Most fast food restaurants, clothes stores and grocery stores would employ younger people (because it's cheaper) but you can ask anywhere you want to.

hi well im 14 and my voice still hasnt gotten deeper and its kinda annoying cause everyone is starting to think i might be gay

and im deff not,.,haha

some questions i have are ......could somehting be wrong?/

can it get deeper later for some people

is this bad///

and just any general info


Your voice usually deepens during puberty which happens around this age. Theres nothing wrong or bad about your voice staying the same because it will eventually deepen. Someone is not gay depending on what their voice sounds like. Anyone who would think that if a guy has a high voice they're gay is stereotypical and pretty much stupid. Your voice will deepen over time it's different for all guys so don't worry.

=p i always make her laugh and i call her gorgeous >.< lol buh were goin on a date so =p i juss want to imporess her (link)
Awwwwwww. Thats cute. Well anything thats clean and ironed and doesn't clash and smells nice will be enough to impress her. Just go with the outfit you had planned out im sure it'll look great ^.^

heya i'm a 15 year old guy and I'm a fairly normal teenager.But at school, I think many people hate me and they just want to beat me up and most of them are guys but the problem is that they are many and I am alone so I can't stand up for/by myself. And many of the friends I have are girls and the guy friends won't be ready to fight these guys and I don't want to tell the teachers please help (link)
Telling ANY adult or someone who can stop this bullying would be a big help but obviously you don't want to do that which is good enough to understand seeing as if i was being harrassed i probably wouldn't want to tell people either in the fears of getting beaten up more. Are you sure guys hate you? It's one thing to hate someone but another to beat them up. If your friends aren't willing to stand up for you then i suggest you find friends who are. Have you had any threats or previous times where they've beaten you up? Try and stay away from these guys and keep your distance. Don't try to stir the pot. If you don't associate with these guys and stay away from them, they probably will forget about you. Im trying to think of why these guys would try to hurt you but maybe because you have so many girls who are friends they're either jelous or maybe your talking to someone they like. I know you don't want to do this but the best way to solve this would to be to tell someone. If you walk home alone try and get some of your friends to be with you because odds are these guys arent going to hurt you if your with other people. I'd love to help you more but i can't think of anything else thats going to help unless you tell someone about whats happening. Do you know why the don't like you?? Because if you did you could try to resolve this issue and most guys i know usually forget about guys they don't like after a while. Just try not to be alone when they're around and try not to do anything to provoke them. It's better just to keep away from them and let them cool down.

hey, well i was reading in one of your previous answers that you and you boyfriend tried being together 4 times and on the last time you got it right. now i know that its really none of my business, but i think that if i knew the answer to what im about to ask you that it could help me out a lot. the first three times that you guys ended the relationship, what were the reasons? also, if a guy cheated before, do you think that he could change his ways? (link)
Well the first time, he had a friend who was a girl that liked him and he was good friends with her so he dumped me because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. The second time he was arguing with one of my guy friends who he thought was trying to hit on me and i stood up for my friend and not him so he dumped me for that. The last time i dumped him i cant remember why. This all happened in the space of about 3 months and we had other gf's and bf's during that time but in the end we just decided we loved each other and nothing was going to change that. I personally would never date a guy who cheated on me once because i don't think i'd be able to trust them again. Some people say 'Once a cheater always a cheater' But if you truly think that the person can change then maybe they can. Personally, it would hurt to much for me to be with someone who cheated on me. I think everyone should be given a second chance, but when someone cheats on someone else, then thats going to far.

im going to be hiking on the appalachain trail with my dog and my dad. my dog is about 5 and i want to know if there is anything i would need to bring for my dog in the case that he maybe gets hurt. i want to form sort of a first aid kit for him. my dogs are like human beings to me and i want to make sure he's taken care of. (link)
LOTS of water and a doggy bowl so they can drink it properly would be good. Thats one of the more obvious. Maybe a little doggy jumper if he gets cold? I'm being serious lol. Bringing dry treats to keep their energy high and if they start getting lazy to motivate them to keep walking. Probably a bandage would be good incase the dogs leg gets hurt. I dont know much about dog aid because my dog is to lazy and fat to do anything so thats all i can say. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

So I have an aunt, an uncle, and three cousins that moved out of state. It broke my heart when I first heard they were leaving, and I only get to see them once a year. I was so close to all of them, especially one cousin in particular. Let's call him A.

A and I have been like best friends ever since we met. We were close about everything, and had the kind of relationship where you could talk about everything together because we weren't afraid to. We trusted each other & have only fought ONCE! We have an incredible bond like no one else... nobody can ever break that bond.

Whenever we get together, it's never awkward between us. The Tom-Boy just comes right out in me and I love that. He brings out something in me, a side that no one else can bring out.

It's probably been about 2 or 3 years since they've moved and I've grown used to it. He's 12 and I'm 13. We're both at the age where we understand what's going on. We can only see each other once a year and it breaks my heart.

On a higher note, we've been communicating through e-mail which is great. It's so fantastic to still be talking to him even if it's not in person. It lets me know he's always there to talk to me even though he's 2 million miles away. :)

So my question is, how can I tell him I miss him without sounding all sappy and mushy?
We've never talked like that before.

Thanks! (link)
Aww. I moved a state away from my family (i live in australia) and i only get to see my whole family once a year, and sometimes that doesnt even happen. Its great you've kept contact with him and you guys can still talk. Odds are he's probably missing you just as much. You can say what the previous advice said or you could try something new and be sappy and mushy. I mean you guys talk about everything so it could broaden your friendships even more (learning just a little more about each other). I don't really have anything to add to this lol but im sorry about your family. What i do when i want to talk to my grandparents is send them a letter. My grandma LOVES it and ALWAYS writes back. Its just a new way to keep contact and it's so old fashioned and interesting way to talk to someone. Just an idea. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

okay well im planning on cutting ma hair up too numba 2... then get a design of lines and waves =p so i can impress this girl lol ima wear a purle shirt that has a skull made out of diamonds ya i know hot ! also ima were the icecream pants the pink kangroo one and then i have a pair of vanz that r pni k and purple >.< is that good? lol (link)
Well i know a guy who got line things in his hair and it looks kinda hot lol but thats just me. You don't need looks to impress a girl, if you can make her laugh and she can see what a sweet guy you are, she'll fall for you. But the fact you take care of yourself is a bonus lol. If your a reasonable guy who treats girls right then thats more than plenty to impress her. You don't need to go all out to impress a girl, we like you for who you are ^.^ Love xXxPuNki-piXiExXx


I recently asked a terribly long question. But basically, I have tons of attention on myself. People find my life very interesting (not that anyone steps in to help me). People "copy" how I stand, dress, do my make-up and they take pictures and make videos trying to be me. Keep in mind it is all meant in a negative way, but it is still an "all eyes on me" situation.

With all of this attention devoted to me, what can I do as a positive role model? It's difficult to get "small favours" talked about seeing as school is out and people only talk about more "important" things. I would really like to use this as an advantage, I am just not sure how.

My facebook page is frequented by people trying to "observe" the on-goings with all of the conflict in my life. I feel like a celebrity with a lot of bad publicity, but that is okay. I would really like to use this as a chance to put some positive messages out there.

Thanks, and sorry if the question is not very specific! =) (link)
Hey i think i answered your other question lol. SMALL WORLD. anyways, i beg to differ! i think anyone can influence other people to act better. I see people at my school in particular one of my best friends and she has gone through so much but she just loves everyone no matter what they look like or who they are. It makes me want to be a better person. You don't need to be famous to influence people you just need to believe in yourself as a person and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. Being a rolemodel means acting maturely in a bad situation. From your past question you have had some BAD situations, but if you act maturely about them and don't let that get you down, thats being a role model! Just not letting people push you down, being a good person even to those people who have treated you like dirt, and being positive in a bad situation can make onlookers (people you dont even know) to admire you and look up at you. Just think of the smart thing to do in a situation and try to be positive under circumstances. A role model is someone people can look up to. If your a happy person, the environment around you can become happier (even though its not so great right now), And in the long run, if your a good person, all that goodness will come back to you. I think your a rolemodel already and i look up to you ^.^ Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

So lately my ex and I have been talking a lot, and I like him again. Some of the things he does, seem like he is flirting. He mocks me in a playful way, and if i don't call or talk to him for awhile, he's always the one to call me first. The thing that makes me believe that he doesn't like me is, he doesn't care about anything, his attitude is so like whatever. And he's very boring at times. But there's this one thing he says, and i told him it was cute, and now he always does it, so I feel like he does it because he knows I think it's cute. Is he flirting or not? (link)
He totally digs you. Of course he's flirting, any guy who calls you when you don't call him and does things because you like them is flirting. This guy has the hots for you and if he seems like hes boring its probably because he doesnt want to say something stupid infront of you and embarrass himself. If you like him, give him another shot. Me and my boyfriend decided to go out for the 4th time and we got it right! now we've been dating for almost 8 months and i couldnt be happier. I dont know if your going to think that if it didnt work once it might not again because alot of people think that and they end up giving up alot of good people because of what happened last time. Make his day and give him a kiss on the cheek! lol. Anyways Byee! love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

Well me and my ex after we broke up we were still talking. and then after awhile we didn't talk for a year. And then out of the blue he starts talking to me again and like i still ahve feelings for him deep inside of me things that make like i can't stop thinking about him. and then one night he calls me and was like baby i love u ur the 1 that makes mi heart go crazy and was like making me feel like some1 realy cared about me that much

so he was like i'm going 2 call you like 2marrow or the next day but it's been like 3 weeks and he never called me. and wen i looked at his myspace he's always talking 2 gurls. But wen he's on and no1 ealse is on like mi profile view's go up like 20 views up. i mean i have these feeling wear i can't stop thinking about him.

can people help me like with things like 2 help me talk 2 him are things 2 do in my situation? (link)
He might have chickened out on calling you or got scared and didnt know what to say. Ask him if he still feels that way and that you should talk or meet up sometime. Now i don't want to get you upset but he might have changed his mind. Guys are strange sometimes..well alot of the time so just try and talk to him and get him to go out with you somewhere or do something. But be careful because as the previous advice said, he could just be playin games with you. If he likes you and he tells you he does again and wants to spend time with you then get him to go out with you and do stuff together. If hes acting indecisive and confusing then i know its hard but your probably better off without him. Just be straight to the point. Ask him "do you or do you not like me" if you wana ask him out then do it! If you love him then do it! It's worth a try. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

I wanna be able to play the guitar. Nothing fancy really and im saving up for a guitar now and im wonder how much would one cost just aplan old NOT ELECTRIC or anything... no cool dizine i dont need that at like wal-mart or something. And i cannot afford lessons so what are some good sites that show me the cords and what they do and how to play some songs already made. (link)
When i got my beginner acoustic it was around $100 thats for a nylon string guitar. For a steel string its around $200+ I would suggest you get something with some quality because alot of cheap brands sound off and aren't the best for beggining. I love my guitar and it was only around $100 i think or less. I wouldn't follow a website's instructions on how to play. I got this beginner book from the music store with a music dvd in it to help me with chords and learning to play and its simple. It was about $20 i think. If you buy a guitar from a music store, a beginner guitar, they usually come with cd's or dvd's to help you learn. A chords chart is usually in a beginners book that you find at the music store and is VERY helpful. It tells you how to play the chords and has a list of all of them. Also if your just beginning, i suggest an electric tuner. My beginner book taught me how to tune my guitar but theres usually instructions on the tuner box. at you can find alot of songs on there but a chords chart is recommended. Some of the chords on there are a bit off and a chords chart gives you the proper chords. I answered a question similar to this so feel free to look through my advice questions and see if i missed telling you anything! Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx

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