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I'm Em.

I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.

I dig art, music and books.

I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.



I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.







Photo:

Yayoi Kusama

"Infinity Mirror Room"

Performance art.

Mirrors, soft sculptures.

Castellane Gallery, New York.

1965.




Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 387
Last Update: April 17, 2014
Visitors: 10632

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13/f

my problem is with my best friend's mom. she's really competitive and wants her daughter to be the best at everything... grades, sports, popularity in school, whatever. well, any time i do better at something (which happens a lot actually), her mom kinda freaks out. i mean, she's always really nice to me, but i can tell it drives her crazy.

well, one thing her mom really wants is for my friend to have a boyfriend. but my friend is really shy around guys, and even though a lot of guys ask her out, she always says no. and her mom gets mad at her about it. and i know her mom is really jealous that i've had a boyfriend for over a year.

but now for the big problem. my boyfriend's family is really good friends with my friend's family. and lately, my friend's mom has been inviting them to do all this stuff, and always tells my boyfriend how much fun he's gonna have with my friend! its like shes trying to get them together. and then she (the mom) tells me all about what they did and how much fun they had together, like she's trying to rub it in and make me jealous. well, it's working, cuz i AM getting jealous, and really mad too!

i know... if my boyfriend ends up liking my friend, there's nothing i can do about it. i don't actually think he will, though... but i can't help worrying about it a little. but mostly i'm just mad that her mom is doing this! its like she can't stand me having this guy so she's trying to steal him away for her daughter.

i guess this isn't really a question, cuz there's probably nothing i can do about it. but if anyone has any advice for me, i'd love to hear it.
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This woman is wayy to weird. Its good shes trying to make her daughter improve her grades but she doesn't NEED popularity or a boyfriend to be happy. Why she is doing this is a mystery. For some odd reason she wants her daughter to be better than you. You should try to talk to your friends mum about this. Not that you should impose on the way she brings up her children but about your boyfriend. If your friend is interested in another guy try to get them together, for her benefit of being with someone she likes and not someone her mum wants her to be with. If i was you i would be totally jelous to! If you can't talk to your friends mum try talking to your friend. Maybe she can try to let her mum relax a little. what this woman is doing is just wrong and hurting you. I'm just curious but doesn't your friend get annoyed by how her mum acts? Like constantly pushing her to strive for her best and be perfect? Talk to your friend or her mum (preferably) about this issue of your boyfriend and how you feel about it.


Ok so if you have sex in water.. like in the shower, bath, swimming pool etc and used a condom would that really work?

I'm just curious!

Also I am on birth control, have been for about 7 months, if I take it everyday roughly around the same time (give or take an hour or two) are you still able to get pregnant if you don't use a condom?

See my boyfriend and I were home alone the other night and we had no condoms left.. we were going to have sex but we spoke about it and decided to play around because i'm still a little scared about getting pregnant.

We were both totally ok with it!

19/f by the way and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years so we would like to start and have unprotected sex.

Thanks guys :) (link)
Well one of my friends mum was on the pill and she ended up getting pregnant. Its like a one in a million chance of it happening though. Thats all i had to say lol. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


Im in love and I thought that was enough but Idk. I wish he would show me that he loves me some times. He does some times and he treats me right but its like he doesnt care. I want to be with him and I dont want to take another break. I feel like im controlling. I guess its my fault... (link)
ok Number one. IT IS NEVER YOU FAULT! Alot of girls blame themselves about relationship problems and it ends up making them feel horrible and sometimes ruining the relationship. Odds are, this guy doesn't know how you feel about this. Maybe he thinks he is showing you he loves you. You need to talk to him about it. Just tell him how you feel and get him to understand from your point of view. He probably had no idea he was making you upset! Whenever theres an issue in your relationship you just need to sit down and talk about it. He loves you and you love him so he'll understand. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


My boyfriend broke up with me about 7 or 8 months ago. We only went out for a little over a month. He broke up with me for another girl and it took me a while to get over because i still liked him. We managed to stay friends because we chill with the same group of people. Just a few days ago my friend told me how he was talking about how he doesn't even know why he went out with me and it was only because i had a "huge rack" and a "nice butt". And now its really been making me upset and i dont know why, what can i do? (link)
This one guy i dated i was "inlove" with and after afew weeks he dumped me which took a while to get over. Then just as i started getting over him his bestfriend told me he only dated me because i was hot and he wanted a girlfriend so i kinda know how it feels. Your upset because you feel used, or thats how i felt. I cried my heart out and hated him for ages. You need to stay positive about the situation even though its bad. That guy didn't deserve you and it's a good thing your not with him because you probably would have ended up more hurt. You have so many greater qualities in yourself rather than just looks to give a guy and he was to stupid to realise that. Theres nothing much you can do but to just stay positive and go through the healing process. Over time you'll start to feel better and sure he'll still be a jerk but it won't matter as much. You'll find a guy who cherishes you for who you are and you'll know not to fall for any guys like that again. Im sorry about what happened but believe me you'll feel better after a while. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


can someone give me information on where i can work at 14 like wherei can work

and can a 14/15 year old work at ACME MARKETS

haha
=] (link)
Um well in Australia, your alowd to start working from 14 and 9 months but you can get parent consent to work when your under that age limit. Anything thats convinient and near by that won't be much hassle to get to would be a good job choice but finding somewhere that you would enjoy working at would be even better. I dont know what acme markets is? so i cant answer that. Most places you can ask for an application or type up a resume and hand it in. Most fast food restaurants, clothes stores and grocery stores would employ younger people (because it's cheaper) but you can ask anywhere you want to.


hi well im 14 and my voice still hasnt gotten deeper and its kinda annoying cause everyone is starting to think i might be gay

and im deff not,.,haha

some questions i have are ......could somehting be wrong?/

can it get deeper later for some people

is this bad///


and just any general info


THANKS

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Your voice usually deepens during puberty which happens around this age. Theres nothing wrong or bad about your voice staying the same because it will eventually deepen. Someone is not gay depending on what their voice sounds like. Anyone who would think that if a guy has a high voice they're gay is stereotypical and pretty much stupid. Your voice will deepen over time it's different for all guys so don't worry.


=p i always make her laugh and i call her gorgeous >.< lol buh were goin on a date so =p i juss want to imporess her (link)
Awwwwwww. Thats cute. Well anything thats clean and ironed and doesn't clash and smells nice will be enough to impress her. Just go with the outfit you had planned out im sure it'll look great ^.^


heya i'm a 15 year old guy and I'm a fairly normal teenager.But at school, I think many people hate me and they just want to beat me up and most of them are guys but the problem is that they are many and I am alone so I can't stand up for/by myself. And many of the friends I have are girls and the guy friends won't be ready to fight these guys and I don't want to tell the teachers please help (link)
Telling ANY adult or someone who can stop this bullying would be a big help but obviously you don't want to do that which is good enough to understand seeing as if i was being harrassed i probably wouldn't want to tell people either in the fears of getting beaten up more. Are you sure guys hate you? It's one thing to hate someone but another to beat them up. If your friends aren't willing to stand up for you then i suggest you find friends who are. Have you had any threats or previous times where they've beaten you up? Try and stay away from these guys and keep your distance. Don't try to stir the pot. If you don't associate with these guys and stay away from them, they probably will forget about you. Im trying to think of why these guys would try to hurt you but maybe because you have so many girls who are friends they're either jelous or maybe your talking to someone they like. I know you don't want to do this but the best way to solve this would to be to tell someone. If you walk home alone try and get some of your friends to be with you because odds are these guys arent going to hurt you if your with other people. I'd love to help you more but i can't think of anything else thats going to help unless you tell someone about whats happening. Do you know why the don't like you?? Because if you did you could try to resolve this issue and most guys i know usually forget about guys they don't like after a while. Just try not to be alone when they're around and try not to do anything to provoke them. It's better just to keep away from them and let them cool down.


hey, well i was reading in one of your previous answers that you and you boyfriend tried being together 4 times and on the last time you got it right. now i know that its really none of my business, but i think that if i knew the answer to what im about to ask you that it could help me out a lot. the first three times that you guys ended the relationship, what were the reasons? also, if a guy cheated before, do you think that he could change his ways? (link)
Well the first time, he had a friend who was a girl that liked him and he was good friends with her so he dumped me because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. The second time he was arguing with one of my guy friends who he thought was trying to hit on me and i stood up for my friend and not him so he dumped me for that. The last time i dumped him i cant remember why. This all happened in the space of about 3 months and we had other gf's and bf's during that time but in the end we just decided we loved each other and nothing was going to change that. I personally would never date a guy who cheated on me once because i don't think i'd be able to trust them again. Some people say 'Once a cheater always a cheater' But if you truly think that the person can change then maybe they can. Personally, it would hurt to much for me to be with someone who cheated on me. I think everyone should be given a second chance, but when someone cheats on someone else, then thats going to far.


im going to be hiking on the appalachain trail with my dog and my dad. my dog is about 5 and i want to know if there is anything i would need to bring for my dog in the case that he maybe gets hurt. i want to form sort of a first aid kit for him. my dogs are like human beings to me and i want to make sure he's taken care of. (link)
LOTS of water and a doggy bowl so they can drink it properly would be good. Thats one of the more obvious. Maybe a little doggy jumper if he gets cold? I'm being serious lol. Bringing dry treats to keep their energy high and if they start getting lazy to motivate them to keep walking. Probably a bandage would be good incase the dogs leg gets hurt. I dont know much about dog aid because my dog is to lazy and fat to do anything so thats all i can say. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


So I have an aunt, an uncle, and three cousins that moved out of state. It broke my heart when I first heard they were leaving, and I only get to see them once a year. I was so close to all of them, especially one cousin in particular. Let's call him A.

A and I have been like best friends ever since we met. We were close about everything, and had the kind of relationship where you could talk about everything together because we weren't afraid to. We trusted each other & have only fought ONCE! We have an incredible bond like no one else... nobody can ever break that bond.

Whenever we get together, it's never awkward between us. The Tom-Boy just comes right out in me and I love that. He brings out something in me, a side that no one else can bring out.

It's probably been about 2 or 3 years since they've moved and I've grown used to it. He's 12 and I'm 13. We're both at the age where we understand what's going on. We can only see each other once a year and it breaks my heart.

On a higher note, we've been communicating through e-mail which is great. It's so fantastic to still be talking to him even if it's not in person. It lets me know he's always there to talk to me even though he's 2 million miles away. :)

So my question is, how can I tell him I miss him without sounding all sappy and mushy?
We've never talked like that before.

Thanks! (link)
Aww. I moved a state away from my family (i live in australia) and i only get to see my whole family once a year, and sometimes that doesnt even happen. Its great you've kept contact with him and you guys can still talk. Odds are he's probably missing you just as much. You can say what the previous advice said or you could try something new and be sappy and mushy. I mean you guys talk about everything so it could broaden your friendships even more (learning just a little more about each other). I don't really have anything to add to this lol but im sorry about your family. What i do when i want to talk to my grandparents is send them a letter. My grandma LOVES it and ALWAYS writes back. Its just a new way to keep contact and it's so old fashioned and interesting way to talk to someone. Just an idea. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


okay well im planning on cutting ma hair up too numba 2... then get a design of lines and waves =p so i can impress this girl lol ima wear a purle shirt that has a skull made out of diamonds ya i know hot ! also ima were the icecream pants the pink kangroo one and then i have a pair of vanz that r pni k and purple >.< is that good? lol (link)
Well i know a guy who got line things in his hair and it looks kinda hot lol but thats just me. You don't need looks to impress a girl, if you can make her laugh and she can see what a sweet guy you are, she'll fall for you. But the fact you take care of yourself is a bonus lol. If your a reasonable guy who treats girls right then thats more than plenty to impress her. You don't need to go all out to impress a girl, we like you for who you are ^.^ Love xXxPuNki-piXiExXx


16/f

I recently asked a terribly long question. But basically, I have tons of attention on myself. People find my life very interesting (not that anyone steps in to help me). People "copy" how I stand, dress, do my make-up and they take pictures and make videos trying to be me. Keep in mind it is all meant in a negative way, but it is still an "all eyes on me" situation.

With all of this attention devoted to me, what can I do as a positive role model? It's difficult to get "small favours" talked about seeing as school is out and people only talk about more "important" things. I would really like to use this as an advantage, I am just not sure how.

My facebook page is frequented by people trying to "observe" the on-goings with all of the conflict in my life. I feel like a celebrity with a lot of bad publicity, but that is okay. I would really like to use this as a chance to put some positive messages out there.

Thanks, and sorry if the question is not very specific! =) (link)
Hey i think i answered your other question lol. SMALL WORLD. anyways, i beg to differ! i think anyone can influence other people to act better. I see people at my school in particular one of my best friends and she has gone through so much but she just loves everyone no matter what they look like or who they are. It makes me want to be a better person. You don't need to be famous to influence people you just need to believe in yourself as a person and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. Being a rolemodel means acting maturely in a bad situation. From your past question you have had some BAD situations, but if you act maturely about them and don't let that get you down, thats being a role model! Just not letting people push you down, being a good person even to those people who have treated you like dirt, and being positive in a bad situation can make onlookers (people you dont even know) to admire you and look up at you. Just think of the smart thing to do in a situation and try to be positive under circumstances. A role model is someone people can look up to. If your a happy person, the environment around you can become happier (even though its not so great right now), And in the long run, if your a good person, all that goodness will come back to you. I think your a rolemodel already and i look up to you ^.^ Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


So lately my ex and I have been talking a lot, and I like him again. Some of the things he does, seem like he is flirting. He mocks me in a playful way, and if i don't call or talk to him for awhile, he's always the one to call me first. The thing that makes me believe that he doesn't like me is, he doesn't care about anything, his attitude is so like whatever. And he's very boring at times. But there's this one thing he says, and i told him it was cute, and now he always does it, so I feel like he does it because he knows I think it's cute. Is he flirting or not? (link)
He totally digs you. Of course he's flirting, any guy who calls you when you don't call him and does things because you like them is flirting. This guy has the hots for you and if he seems like hes boring its probably because he doesnt want to say something stupid infront of you and embarrass himself. If you like him, give him another shot. Me and my boyfriend decided to go out for the 4th time and we got it right! now we've been dating for almost 8 months and i couldnt be happier. I dont know if your going to think that if it didnt work once it might not again because alot of people think that and they end up giving up alot of good people because of what happened last time. Make his day and give him a kiss on the cheek! lol. Anyways Byee! love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


Well me and my ex after we broke up we were still talking. and then after awhile we didn't talk for a year. And then out of the blue he starts talking to me again and like i still ahve feelings for him deep inside of me things that make like i can't stop thinking about him. and then one night he calls me and was like baby i love u ur the 1 that makes mi heart go crazy and was like making me feel like some1 realy cared about me that much

so he was like i'm going 2 call you like 2marrow or the next day but it's been like 3 weeks and he never called me. and wen i looked at his myspace he's always talking 2 gurls. But wen he's on and no1 ealse is on like mi profile view's go up like 20 views up. i mean i have these feeling wear i can't stop thinking about him.

can people help me like with things like 2 help me talk 2 him are things 2 do in my situation? (link)
He might have chickened out on calling you or got scared and didnt know what to say. Ask him if he still feels that way and that you should talk or meet up sometime. Now i don't want to get you upset but he might have changed his mind. Guys are strange sometimes..well alot of the time so just try and talk to him and get him to go out with you somewhere or do something. But be careful because as the previous advice said, he could just be playin games with you. If he likes you and he tells you he does again and wants to spend time with you then get him to go out with you and do stuff together. If hes acting indecisive and confusing then i know its hard but your probably better off without him. Just be straight to the point. Ask him "do you or do you not like me" if you wana ask him out then do it! If you love him then do it! It's worth a try. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


I wanna be able to play the guitar. Nothing fancy really and im saving up for a guitar now and im wonder how much would one cost just aplan old NOT ELECTRIC or anything... no cool dizine i dont need that at like wal-mart or something. And i cannot afford lessons so what are some good sites that show me the cords and what they do and how to play some songs already made. (link)
When i got my beginner acoustic it was around $100 thats for a nylon string guitar. For a steel string its around $200+ I would suggest you get something with some quality because alot of cheap brands sound off and aren't the best for beggining. I love my guitar and it was only around $100 i think or less. I wouldn't follow a website's instructions on how to play. I got this beginner book from the music store with a music dvd in it to help me with chords and learning to play and its simple. It was about $20 i think. If you buy a guitar from a music store, a beginner guitar, they usually come with cd's or dvd's to help you learn. A chords chart is usually in a beginners book that you find at the music store and is VERY helpful. It tells you how to play the chords and has a list of all of them. Also if your just beginning, i suggest an electric tuner. My beginner book taught me how to tune my guitar but theres usually instructions on the tuner box. at www.ultimate-guitar.com you can find alot of songs on there but a chords chart is recommended. Some of the chords on there are a bit off and a chords chart gives you the proper chords. I answered a question similar to this so feel free to look through my advice questions and see if i missed telling you anything! Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


ok my puppy is i think 7 months now and when she was little we would put er in her cage at nights and she would whimper for like a few minutes bafore going to sleep. now shes older and my sister has slept with the dog on her bed a couple of times and when we put her in her cage she does this wierd howling thing where it sounds like shes talking ro crying or something. what is she doing?! and she has terrrible seperation anxiety. like if her family member of choice that day leaves the house for like 5 minutes she barks and does that howling thing by the door untill they come back. any ideas on how to stop this? its annoying and it happens everymorning when my parents leave for work.
thx (link)
When i first got my dog we tried to get her to stay in the bathtub but she HATED it so i gave up and kept her in my bed. Now she sleeps with my mum lol. No dog likes to be alone and because she knows she can get on a bed with someone, she wants it and shes now wanting to get out of her cage. Find her a larger area to lock up at night with lots of blankets and toys she loves with maybe something of yours to make her feel better. We put my dog in the bathroom when my family goes out and she has practically shredded the door from scratching at it so much. When you go out during the day maybe put her outside. Make sure everythings sealed up so she cant get out, that she has lots of water and somewhere dry and comfy to sleep with lots of shade. Or you could do what my friend does and install a doggy door so she can go in and out of the house as she pleases. At night, put her in a small room in the house that she cant escape from with once again lots of water and comfy area with some toys or something personal she likes. Leaving something with your scent on it like an old peice of clothing you don't wear anymore or an old toy of yours, let her sleep with it or have it when your parents go to work so if she gets lonely she has something to comfort her.


ok the people involved here are me and my bf (we've been going out a long time), and tom and cindy (who've been going out like 4 weeks).

well tom and my bf just went on a vacation together. my bf called me like 5 times a day and said how much he loved me and missed me, etc. (he's sooo sweet!).

well halfway though the vacation, i talked to cindy. she was all sad because she hadn't heard from tom at all. so i told my bf, and he told tom that he should call cindy. so tom started calling her, and i think he was trying to act like my bf, saying all this nice stuff to her.

well as soon as they got back, cindy dumped tom. he was really heartbroken and asked me find out why. she told me it was because he was being too clingy and saying that he loved her when they'd only been going out a few weeks.

now i feel terrible!! like its my fault. and i dont know what to tell tom. hes sooo upset hes like crying and everything. he was just trying to do what he thought she wanted, and taking the example of me and my bf. im dreading talking to him cuz i dont know what to say that wont make him feel worse. plus, i just found out that cindy started going out with another guy like 3 hours after she dumped tom. i dont want to have to tell him that either!!

what can i tell him that wont make him feel terrible? (link)
Your friend is probably saying he was to full on as a reason for dumping him. If she really liked him then why would she have dumped him and why would she date someone so soon afterwards? This guy deserves better anyways no offence to your friend. Its not your fault, she was upset he wasnt calling her so he calls her and she dumps him. You have to be honest with him and say that she said he was being to clingy and is now dating another guy. Its not your fault ok its hers. He will get better sooner or later and move on.


13/f
people are always saying that at our age, we can't really be in love, or that we're too young to know what love is. like when a couple starts going out, and they put "i love matt" and "i love alyssa" on their myspace, a lot of people say its stupid. ok maybe its not like "true love", the kind where you marry someone... but if you really, really like someone a lot, isnt that sort of a type of love? and what if youve been with someone for a really long time, even though youre only 13? me and my bf have been together for almost 2 years and i think what we have is a lot more than just "liking each other a lot." we've been through a lot together, and we've had problems, but we've always worked them out. we're like best friends and cant stand to be apart. if thats not love, then what is? and if its not, then how old do you have to be to really be in love? (link)
Im 15 years old and i am totally in love with my boyfriend. I don't think it matters how old you are, anyone can fall inlove. When people say your to young to be inlove they just think that because having a developed relationship in our modern society only happens when you grow up. Love is whatever you think it is and whoever you want it to be with. There isn't an age for love, it just happens. I think its when you find that kindrid spirit, that person who makes you complete. Love is whatever you want to make it and everyone has different opinions of it. If you think your inlove with your boyfriend then you are! Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx


well, i have a boyfriend and lately it seems we cant talk about anything. even when i try to talk about something it's like it doesnt matter to him.such as, i'll start talking about this "talking problem" and he'll be like, "oh, i didn't hear a word you said, but one of my friends is on the line with us". i just dont understand him anymore. like in the begining of our relationship he was really serious about everything; he would talk about all of our problems with me. ask me if i was okay with something. and i'm scared because he's been talking to a lot of girls lately and it bothers me because a lot of them he seems to be really good friends with and i'm just worried. maybe he's getting bored with me...a lot of guys seem to do that with me, or that's how it seems. are we in a block?...i dont know who to talk about with this stuff, i cant go to my mother, she doesnt take anything i say seriously and all my friends don't even really support me in anything right now. i dont even know if i have any real friends any more. i dont even know if you can help me with my problem, but i just dont know what to do anymore. i dont know what to say to him or anything. im scared we are going to fall apart and i dont want that to happen because i love him with all my heart. i would die for him, but i dont know if i can trust him to do the same. i dont know if i can trust him with anything. i just got out of a really bad relationship about 9 months ago and i have a lot of trust issues and i told my guy that and he said he understood but at the times when i say i trust him, i mean it and then later on, like with the girl stuff, when i say i dont agree or appriciate that, he says he doesnt understand why i cant trust him. he doesnt even say i love you that much anymore and its scaring me. i care about him so badly, will you please help me?

thank you so much (link)
Aww well your very insecure about the people in your life. He's not paying alot of attention to you or really listening to you and thats a big problem in relationships. You need to talk to him in person and tell him what you just typed up. You need to get your point across to him. If he continues to act like he is, then he's not good enough for you. In person is the best way to figure things out cuz theres not really a way he can avoid it. Are you spending alot of time together? Or not enough? Im sorry i can't help you much more but if he can't try to listen to you or if he doesn't really care for your insecurities then seriously honey, he isn't worth it. I hope it all works out! Just talk to him! Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx




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