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Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)
advice
I've been dating this guy for two and a half weeks. We've been close friends for a year before he asked me out. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to give him for Valentine's, but I need advice.
I'm planning on painting a guitar pic (since he plays guitar) and I'm going to paint on it "Happy Valentine's Day" and have a cool design on it. I was thinking of baking him cookies and putting them in his locker. Then last but not least, I want to get him Fall Out Boy concert tickets sicne we both love them. The tics are about twenty something dollars, and I was wondering...too much for a relationship this short? give me your opinion. if you ahve any other ideas, alterations, or suggestions they are appreciated!
I think you have two options here: The cookies and guitar pic OR the tickets. Giving him all of this at once is a lot, especially for such a short relationship. Let's weigh the pros and cons here.
THE TICKETS:
Pro: You both like FOB and would enjoy spending time together at the concert. Plus, you've been friends for a while.
Con: The price is a lot for such a short relationship.
THE GUITAR PIC AND COOKIES:
Pro: They always say homemade gifts are better than store-bought ones. :o) He can keep the guitar pic forever and remember you when he sees it. Also, you definitely can't go wrong with cookies!!
Con: None, really.
So, if I were you, I'd go for the pic and cookies.
You can also make a card with a nice poem (you can write one or you can find one somewhere). Or, if you have a picture of you two together, you can get a picture frame and decorate it.
You can even get some Hershey's Kisses and put them in a jar with a note that says, "Here are some extra kisses for when I'm not around!"
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
Ok, to start off, I've been dating my bf for almost seven months now. Things have been on and off with us, becuase we fight alot about stupid stuff. He is over dramatic and over reacts, and I try to hard to resolve it and get angry easily. Well after our four month anniversary something happened. He dumped me the day after prom for another girl. He cheated on me. And the two weeks that we were apart and broken up were hell. I missed him even after what he did and I tried moving on with another guy I had liked but things weren't the same. Well then out of the blue he called me on my birthday adn we ended up getting back together. I decided to do something I never would've done in the past. Give someone a second chance. And it was good for a while. But the past scars you in obvious ways. I'm constantly scared he will cheat on me, I don't trust him, and because of that we fight. Plus he is being incosiderate now and we are fighting again. Well this guy I have liked for 2 years is in the picture now and he is always there for me. We have been friends for a while and I don't know what to do. I really like him, he likes me, and I don't feel happy with my bf. But something keeps holding me back. I still love my bf, but I don't think things will work out. What should I do?
This relationship lacks two of the things that a good, healthy relationship needs: trust and respect. You don't trust him because of what he did, and that's understandable; it's his fault for doing that to you. Also, the fact that he's being inconsiderate shows you his lack of respect for you.
If I were you, I'd break up with him. You gave him a second chance, and he messed up again. It would be for the best in the end; you won't have to deal with the pain and drama of that relationship anymore.
About this other guy- I wouldn't go out with him immediately. Give yourself time to get over this relationship before you bounce back into a new relationship. This guy will understand; he seems much better than your current boyfriend.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
what happens when you run outta answers, and you dont know what to do anymore? what happens when your not happy with yourself and your lost and confused? what happens when you think your fat and everyone else tells you your wrong? what happens when you lose your bestfriend because shes just not the same anymore? what happens when you life falls apart?
I can relate to all of this! I'll try to answer most of your questions.
About losing your best friend: I can relate! I was best friends with a girl for 4 years, but then our interests slowly started to change. We started hanging out and talking less and less, until we finally stopped. It isn't that simple, but that's basically what happened. Okay, enough babbling; onto the advice!!
You have to understand that as you grow up, you change, as do your friends. Some friendships can stay alive for a very long time (and sometimes forever), no matter what changes may occur in either friends' personalities. Other friendships don't stay together as long. Why? Well, it depends on the friends. Some can't stand being friends with people who are too different from them, which is why many great friendships fall apart.
I know how you feel right now, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but it, like everything else, will pass. It takes time, sure. But just remember all the great times you had with your friend. Be thankful for the friendship and what you learned from it.
"What happens when you run out of answers and you don't know what to do anymore?" This is a vague question, and since I don't know what it's about specifically, I can't answer it. You can leave a question in my inbox with more detail if you want.
When you're not happy with yourself: You seem to be lacking self-confidence, hun. That happens during that confusing, mysterious time we call "the teen years." Everyone goes through lack of self-confidence, no matter how popular or glamorous they may seem on the outside.
Many things can make you confident. Here are some tips:
Be positive. It makes a difference, trust me. I used to be negative, saying things like, "This sucks!" or "I won't ever be able to do this." I realized that I didn't like being negative because I was so miserable. From then on, I started replacing those negative thoughts with positive ones. Back to the best friend situation. You're sad and angry about it, but you should think of what you learned from the situation and focus on the good that came out of it. Good comes out of everything, no matter how horrible the situation may be at the time. Sometimes it takes a while to see these good things, but believe me, you will see them!
Another tip: Do what you love. Love to paint? Paint. Love to play basketball? Shoot some hoops! Take up a new hobby or sport. Hang out with friends. Volunteer at a local animal shelter. Don't mope around; that solves nothing.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
Why do some people feel the need to stereotype? I find it very small minded, especially when people say:
*"emos" are suicidal
*"preps" are mean
*guys are horndogs
*girls are bitches when they get their periods
*teenagers are full of raging hormones and go through tons of mood swings
etc.
So why do some stereotype like that?
It's a school thing. The reason for it? It depends on the person.
For instance, some people like the whole "punk" thing, so they label themselves that and try to look and act the part (Some don't even know about the original "punk" bands, like the Sex Pistols).
They want to fit a certain ideal to become friends with certain people or to just look cool.
Some people don't get to know a person, so they just label them. Like, someone who's "punk" can think someone is "preppy," therefore, they're mean (in that person's eyes, anyway). I've seen a lot of people do this, and it's pretty stupid.
You're right: labels are stupid. I know people who like labels, and I try to convince people that they're pointless. Why? People aren't cans. There isn't one person on this earth who is a complete "prep" or "punk." People have so many different personalities.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
I just wanted to thank you for your advice, it was very insightful.
Your welcome! I'm glad that it helped you. Your comment made my day! :o)
Feel free to leave any more questions in my inbox!
♥Manders
First of all I'll give a little background. I met my friend almost 10 years ago, we were both teenagers at the time and instantly clicked for some reason. We had little inside jokes and shared everything. I felt like she was the sister I never had. We talked about dating and as we grew older we discussed our marriages. She had a baby boy while I went through infertility and a miscarriage. That put a strain on our friendship because I was jealous and she didn't understand why i found it hard to be around her baby. We didn't speak for about 6 months and I finally wrote her a letter of apology. Then she moved away, we kept in contact and after a year she moved back and everything was just like it was before. By the way we were each other's maid of honors at our weddings. When I finally got pregnant she threw my baby shower and held my hand while I went to doctors appts and went through labor. We had our differences. She was very outgoing and I was shy. She had a lot of friends and I had a hard time making them. She was religious and I was undecided. I went through christianity to wicca and finally settled on atheism. She was christian but not a hard core bible thumper. After my baby was born we talked about parenting a lot. She believed in spanking and letting your child cry it out, I didn't. I expressed my disagreement but told her I thought everyone had the right to parent as they saw fit. We talked about politics and after 9-11 we both agreed that Bush should go into Iraq & Afghanistan. We both agreed that abortion was wrong. We talked about religion and she said she thought her other friend was going to hell because she was mormon. At this point she had started going to church religiously. I asked her where she thought I was going since I was atheist and she told me, hell. I hung up on her and cried but we patched things up a few hours later. I was hurt that despite knowing what kind of person I was that she still thought just because her bible said so that I was going to a place where they keep murderers and rapists in the same place as nonbelievers. I couldn't believe that she judged me like that. I thought she accepted me no matter what, after all I accepted her no matter what. Sure we had our differences but we also had things in common. I became more disenchanted with organized religion and talked about a paper I was writing that was anti-bible with her. After a lot of thinking I decided I was against the war in Iraq and we talked about that. I had pictures of her kids all over my walls and vise versa, we both babysat for each other and talked on the phone for hours at a time. Whenever she was upset about something I was there for her and vise versa. Her brother died of a drug overdose and I supported her through that. A few months later she started avoiding me. I would call and she would say she was busy. I just had a feeling she was mad at me. We had always said after the last time we didn't speak for 6 months that we would work things out next time and we would be friends until we were old ladies. So I asked her what was wrong and she said she was just busy. I accepted that answer. Then I get an email from her. She says that although she still cares about me, she's been wondering why we're friends still. Maybe it was just because we had known each other so long because we didn't have anything in common any more as far as politics, parenting and religion go. She said something like she didn't feel like we were good friends any more. I felt like she was saying that I couldn't be her best friend because I didn't vote to re-elect Bush, spank my kids and go to church every sunday like she did. I cried as I read her letter and felt like I had been slapped in the face. Like she was insulting everything that I stand for. I fired back and told her that I couldn't be her clone and that although we were different I never expected her to be just like me and change her views. She responded with "sorry you feel that way, have a nice life" that just made it worse, she didn't even care about ending a 10 year friendship! Just like that. Now I have no friends, nobody to talk to if I'm feeling blue or need to vent about my husband or chat about parenting or politics. I don't know how to make new friends and don't really want to because I'm afraid I'll just be rejected again for my different views. Sometimes I miss my friend so much and just want to call her and make up but I know I can't. What can I do to make this feeling go away? It's been almost a year and I'm miserable
I'm very sorry about your situation. Losing friends is hard- I know because I just grew apart from one of my best friends of almost 4 years.
You have to understand that friends grow apart. Once your lives got started, you had to spend more time with your families and less time with each other.
You've gone through different situations. For instance, you went through infertility and she didn't. What you experience and what you're exposed to, I guess I can say, "molds" your personality. That seems like why you two are so different now, because when you're kids/teens, you're almost always exposed to similar things, but when you're an adult, it's completely different.
She seems pretty insensitive. That shows when she sent you that e-mail. That whole thing about her saying that you're going to hell angers me, and I don't even know this person! A Christian is supposed to lead other people to Jesus Christ to be saved, not say "Oh, you're going to hell."
Friends are supposed to accept each other's differences. She obviously doesn't, so realize that. You tried to keep the friendship going, but it takes two to tango. If one friend is keeping the friendship going, it's one-sided.
Don't mope around the house. Try a new hobby. Read a new book. Do what you love.
Don't be scared of other people just because of what one person did to you. Not everyone is like that woman who was your friend. It scared me at first when I lost my friend... I was always scared of losing friends. But you can't go through life being scared, because that brings you no happiness.
Maybe you can get your husband to introduce you to some people. If you work, ask a coworker to a friendly lunch. Ask a neighbor to lunch. Get involved in your community by volunteering.
To introduce yourself to someone new, say, "Hello, my name is ______, what's yours?"
Getting to know people is easy, and fun! Ask questions like:
-What sports do you like to watch?
-What's your career?
-Have a husband/kids/pets?
-Do you like music?
-What do you think of __________ (something going on or new, like a new park)?
The possibilities are endless, really.
Good luck! I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
ok there was this boy,
and he is my best friend's ex boyfriend.
but she still has feelings for him.
but he broke up with her.
but first time I saw him I had a crush on him too. I didnt tell my best friend, I couldent do that to her! but he had a football game and they won. my friend went to go to the rest room after the game. and I waited on the bentaches the the boy came up to me and sat by me. he said hi. I thought my friend would say it was ok just to have a confersation. then so we talked. the bathroom was like a couple minnets away. then right when my friend came she saw me and him holding hands!
she got mad but after a week she forgave me. that friday we were planning to go to a party. and he was there. soon my friend decided to leave but it was his house and he told me he had to show me somthing. I told him no beacuse of what happened. he talked me into it. then it was his room and you know what happened next yes we had sex.
but now at school I see him and he smiles. I hate keeping this from her.
I think he really likes me but so do i. but my friend will hate me!!!!! what do I do!!!!!!!??
Friends before boys. Always. It's an unwritten rule.
I don't think you should try to be his girlfriend. Why? Because, number one, it will really not be considerate to your friend. She will probably be hurt. Number two, you had sex with him! You betrayed your friend once already; getting together with him will hurt her more.
About the sex thing, I'd tell her. Friends are supposed to be honest with one another. If you don't tell her, there is a possibility that she could find out from someone else, and that would be much worse than if you told her yourself.
If you choose to tell her, make sure to be calm and tell her when you two are alone and she isn't in a bad mood. Tell her how sorry you are and that you will never do anything like that again (and stick to your promise).
I'll be 110% honest with you; she probably will be more than just a little upset. If she got that mad that you were holding hands with him, then she'll probably be a lot more mad at this situation. There is a possibility that she might not trust you again, or she might stop being friends with you. I'm not saying it is positive that this will happen, but anything is possible. Trust is easy to lose and hard to gain back.
I'm not trying to be negative, I just wanted to be honest with you.
But you made the decision to have sex with him. You could have backed out, but you didn't. You know that your friend has feelings for him. You have suffer the consequences for your actions, good or bad. Learn from this situation.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
Okay, well I'm not that good of a singer, and I know that. But, I have a beauty pageant coming up, and you have to have a talent, and singing is all I can come up with. I can also tumble pretty well, so idk if I should do that or not. I have a round-off back-handspring, standing back-handspring, round-off back-handspring series, and standing back-handspring series.
So I have 3 questions:
-Should I sing, or should I tumble?
-If I choose to sing, what are some tips to help an amature?
and BTW, the talent has to be 2:30 seconds long.
Thank you so much if you can help!
If you're a good tumbler, stick with that, just to be safe. Here's the way I see it.
If you choose tumbling, you can just come up with a routine of some kind.
If you sing, you have to learn a song, and if you haven't been taking voice lessons or you haven't been in a choir, you probably don't know too much about singing. I'm a singer, and singing isn't the easiest thing to do and it's hard to learn in a few weeks. Amateurs should refrain from performing until they've learned a lot about singing and musical theory. If you have a friend that's an experienced singer, you can ask her to help you (if you choose to sing).
You should let your greatest talents shine. Don't sing if you don't have to confidence to.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
My boyfriend is I think kinda annoyed with me.. I mean I talked to his best friend and he said that every time I call my b.f says "Here we go again" and well I am not sure if I want to be with someone who does want to talk to me or even wants to be with me unless we are alone.. and well I truly like him and i don't want to end it but I sometimes think that is the only way... the past few days he's told me he didn't want to come over.. it kinda ticked me off at first and now I am more like miserable. I don't want nothing to happen but I mean htings have just changed... and he lied to me.. which kinda ticked me off but I cannot tell him I know he lied to me because it would make him mad at his best friend.. soo IdK HELP ME!
First off, are you absolutely POSITIVELY sure that you're boyfriend's best friend is trustworthy? Be sure before you make any major decisions.
But, there are signs that you know of, like when he told you he didn't want to come over.
Watch for these signs, too:
-He doesn't call you.
-He doesn't IM you.
-When he talks to you, he's very short (You don't really keep a conversation going).
-He makes up excuses to leave when you two are talking.
-He doesn't say hi to you when you pass in the hall.
-He doesn't invite you to dates anymore.
If those signs are there, he's probably lost interest in the relationship. You have two choices here.
You can talk to him. Make sure he isn't in a bad mood and that you're alone. Don't yell; stay calm and nice (Even though it can get frustrating). Ask him if he still has an interest in the relationship. If he doesn't, there's no point in keeping the relationship going. Break up with him.
Or, you can skip the talking and simply break up with him. Be nice about it, though. I'm not saying that you're mean, but you might be so angry at him for what he's been doing that you might yell or say things that you don't mean. Take a deep breath if you feel yourself getting angry.
A relationship needs two people to keep it alive. If one person calls or asks to hang out, and the other person doesn't, then the relationship is pretty one-sided.
I hope everything goes well!
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
hi my name is jess i recently broke up with my b.f tony and wel he went to a party like a week after we broke up and hooked up with a friend of mine. i still like him and i cried when i heard what happened. i cnt take it anymore. how can i get over him. please help me ill rate 5's
--jess
It's tough getting over an ex, but I know you can do it!
First off, realize that you can do sooo much better than him. He was such an idiot; he broke up with you and hooked up with a friend of yours. Not a great person, huh? You can do so much better, you really can!!
Don't mope around the house. That's one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Start a new hobby. Do something you love. Have a girl's night out (I wouldn't invite the 'friend' who hooked up with your ex, though...). Rent some DVDs with old Saturday Night Live episodes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try to get revenge in any way. Don't hook up with a guy to get back at him. Don't trash talk him, either. That just shows him that you're still dwelling on what he did.
I hope all goes well!!
If you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
A little girl was walking in the winter and saw a frozen snake by the side of the road. She took pity on it, and put it in her pocket to warm it up. After a while, the snake warmed up, and bit her in the leg. She said, "Hey, I took care of you, what did you bite me for?" And the snake said, "Well, you knew I was a snake when you picked me up, didn’t you?"
What is the moral of this story? I'm just curious.
Some people will be mean no matter what you do for them. You could do something good for someone, but they are still the same person.
Basically, a snake will always be a snake.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
I recently found out that one of my best friends has eye cancer. If it spreads to her brain, which it probably will within the next year, she'll die. She refuses to do anything about it, surgery or chemo, and is just giving up. I've tried to convince her to do something, and she won't listen. What should I do?
Talk to her. I know you probably have, but there isn't really any other way to get through to her.
When you talk to her, make sure she isn't in a bad mood and that you're alone. Make sure she's free and not in the middle of doing anything.
Ask her why she doesn't want to go though treatment first. That could help you talk to her.
Then, tell her how you feel. Be calm. Tell her that you love her, and that she has many people who also love her. Tell her that they want you to get better and would be sad if she left without fighting. Let her know that you will always be there for her if she goes through treatment. Stay true to your word as well.
I hope all goes well and that she changes her mind!
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
I'm 5'2" and weigh about 105 pounds. I am perfectly aware that I am NOT overweight. If anything, I am a few pounds underweight, and have no plans to lose weight. I have never been self concious about my weight.
Why do these girls who weigh even less than me and are taller than me insist on obsessing about losing weight!? Day after day I see these questions. "I weigh 50 pounds and am about 6 feet, am I fat like OMGZ?!?!" (Obvious exaggeration, you get the point.) What is wrong with everyone??... I don't want to hear that BS about "oh the media blah blah"... everyone blames EVERYTHING on the media. Why are all these little girls so freakin' impressionable?! I was never so impressionable to feel fat just because there was some anorexic model on the cover of some magazine. I think it's pathetic. Why are people like this?
The media is a reason, but it isn't the ONLY reason. Like you said, the media is not the only one to blame. :o)
Many of the reasons these itty bitty girls say "I'm sooo fat" is to get attention. They want people to say, "No you're aren't!" or "You're so skinny!" When people say things like then when skinny girls say "I'm fat," they're only fueling the fire, you know what I mean? Skinny girls will say that a lot so they can get reassurance that they aren't fat.
These girls may also be just plain insecure. Not all skinny girls have confidence. They might have problems at home, like parents who put down thier bodies (no matter how skinny they may be). Some girls might have been overweight in the past, and lost the weight, so they may still be obsessed with weight loss. You never know what they're past was like (Unless you've known them for a long time, and know them well), and you also never know what goes on behind closed doors.
Some girls want to please guys, or someone else, so they want to lose weight for that reason.
Skinny girls have insecurities, too. For some reason, some of them are obsessed with their weight. Why? Well, to summarize what I've just said, it depends on the person and their experiences.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
Well, my best friend died exactly a year ago as of yesterday. I'm not sure if many of you are familiar with my question I posted last year about her death, but so you can hear the whole story here's the link: http://advicenators.com/qview.php?q=248637
I've had a hard time dealing with her death, mentally and physically and I've been really depressed. I still blame myself for her death every day because I still feel that if I were there it wouldn't have happened.
I really need help coping with it... I've tried to keep myself busy with fencing, my boyfriend, my friends and schoolwork.. But nothing really seems to keep my mind fully off of what happened.
This past week, when her anniversary came up was when I really started to get depressed. I've gone to therapy because of her death and also because of other problems and my therapist keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I couldn't have prevented it from happening. But if you really think about it, I COULD saved her. She kept begging me to go to the party with her but I said no because I wanted to be with my boyfriend. I think that if I wasn't being so selfish in wanting to spend so much time with my boyfriend, then I WOULD have gone to the party. My ex boyfriend WOULDN'T have slipped X in her drink he WOULDN'T have raped her and she WOULDN'T be dead.
I talk to her family almost every day and they always tell me that it's not my fault... But I still feel like it is.
How can I stop feeling like this is my fault? And how can I finally get closure on her death?
It's not your fault, as you know. You know that, but it's just hard for you to believe it.
You told her not to take drinks from parties. She didn't listen. She decided to take it. She made her own decision. There wasn't anything you could have done.
You can guide someone and help them make a step in the right direction, but it's their responsibility to take that step. Your friend didn't listen to you. It's not your fault that she didn't listen; like I said, it was her decision to take your advice or not.
You did the right thing by telling her that it wasn't good to take drinks from parties. You were being a good friend. You showed that you care about her.
The guy put ecstacy in the drink and gave it to her. She drank it. You did nothing wrong.
It's good that you're trying to keep yourself busy and that you aren't sitting around, moping and doing nothing. I didn't know your friend, but I'm pretty sure that she wants you to be happy. Please, keep trying, and I hope that all goes well.
If you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
this is what happened..
an hour and 10 minutes ago my phone rang and my caller ID said it was my boyfriend so i was all excited and im like 'hayy' and my 'friend' answers so im like what? She goes 'hey its ***** im at the mall with *my boyfriends name* ahahhaahahhaha ok bye' im like what the hell that was really mean and i start hysterically crying.
so i call my boyfriends phone and she answers nd im crying nd im like 'can i talk to *my boyfriends name*' and shes like 'why are you pist' nd im like 'because you call me and your like 'oh yea were at the mall and im with *my boyfriends name* and your not haha'
Im like 'can you put him on please' shes like no why are you pist' im like 'can you put him on please' nd shes like no nd im like can you just put him on! and she goes YOUR A BITCH and hangs up!!
so now im crying 10x harder
I call one of my good friends for support and when she answers i hear their voices in the backround talking about it so im like OMG SHES WITH THEM! I say 'are you at the mall' nd shes like 'yea why are you mad at *friends name*' nd im like 'is *my boyfriends name* there' shes like yea nd im like can i talk to him shes like r u crying? im like yea and then she screams '*my boyfriends name* YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CRYING COME HERE NOW AND TALK TO HER!!"
I hear "*my friends' name* screaming NO NO NO DONT TALK TO THAT BITCH and MY BOYFRIEND IS LAUGHING!!!!! and she hangs up on me like taking the phone from him. so now im crying 10x than before
I call him nd hes like 'why is *'my friends' name* so pist at u' nd im like 'howcome when i ask to talk to my boyfriend i get called a bitch' and hes like 'i dont know because your being..nevermind im not gonna say it *our friends name* you say it' and hands the phone to our friend.
So then our friend says "why are you mad at *'my friends' name* nd i told him nd hes like ohh or whatever and my boyfriend gets back on the phone nd im like 'you know what go go be with them because i dont give a shit. go have fun'
He goes 'no' nd im like YES **** BECAUSE I DONT CARE AND NEITHER DO YOU SO HAVE FUN' nd he goes 'sorry bye' nd i hang up! that makes me 305894085940865 times worse because he doesnt even care
i was crying for so long. this is soo horrible! what should i do? and he always says to me 'what are you doing later/tomorrow want to hang out?' and im always like 'yeah' but we never wind up doing anything and now he goes to the mall with my best friends and he doesnt invite me, neither do me so called 'bffs'. im so effing upset right now. any advice? anything at all. oh and if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all'
thanks for reading all of this. xo byee
This guy isn't worth it. Your feelings should be more important to him. He's an inconsiderate idiot. He let your 'friend' call you a b*tch, and he didn't seem to care that you were obviously hurt. You deserve so much better!
The 'friends' are losers, too! One friend called you a b*tch, and one embarrassed you. Not great qualities in a friend. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!
Talk to them and ask them why they acted the way they did. Be calm; don't freak out. Don't throw insults at them, either.
If they keep being mean, ignore them. Dump the boyfriend, and go on with your life. You don't deserve to be treated like this by people who were supposed to be there for you. Don't try to get revenge, because that just shows them that what they did gets to you and that you aren't over it.
You deserve so much better, like I said. These people obviously have something wrong with them if they just did that for no reason.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
Anyone know some really good pop/rock love songs? 5's for good suggestions.
"You and Me" by Lifehouse (A song that I don't like much, but a lot of people like it)
"Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse
"It's Only Love" by the Beatles
"And I Love Her" by the Beatles
"If I Fell" by the Beatles
"Can't Buy Me Love" by the Beatles
"Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne
"I Wanna Be With You" by Mandy Moore (More pop-ish, though)
"Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne
Most of these are more pop than rock, but they aren't too "fluffy," except for the Mandy Moore song. :o)
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
so. this was my first year in high school and in public school. i was "shy" and quiet in class. I did make soem friends though. It just feels like in school all the girls look the same and than u have me who has my own style and stuff. People are saying im "weird" and making up rumors just because i stick out. I have brown hair and green eyes and people just think im weird because im not afraid to be myself. Am i doing the right thing?
Yes, you're doing the right thing. You should feel good because not many people have the guts to wear, do, and say what they really want to. That's one reason that a lot of people look, act, and do the same thing.
You shouldn't act a certain way because people say things about you. You sound confident, because you aren't afraid to be yourself. If you acted/dressed a certain way just for people to like and accept you, you might make 'friends,' but they wouldn't really be 'friends.' They would like you for what you're pretending to be, not for who you are.
People who are scared to be themselves envy people who are proud of who they are. Always stay true to you and ALWAYS be proud to be who you are!
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
what perfume is out that smells good?
-"Fantasy" by Britney Spears
-"Curious" by Britney Spears (Some people think it smells bad; I like it, though)
-"Paris Hilton"
-"Clinique Happy"
-"J'adore" by Dior
-"True Star" by Tommy Hilfiger (and Beyonce Knowles)
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
13/m. I have a sister who is 14. Where we live, stuff happens slowly. It's not like in NYC where everyone loses their virginity at, like 13. My sister finally got her first boyfriend. I'm not too worried about that. But, they're taking everything too fast: one week, they're dating. Another week, they're holding hands. This may not seem like much to you, but where I live it is. And now yesterday---they've been together 2 months, tops---they both had their first kiss.
I've been trying to get more info, but she's really private about this. I asked her if it was just a peck or if she made out, and she said that it was about 5 seconds. Is that long for a first kiss? And I asked her when, and she showed me a ring that she got from him. Unfortunately, I suck at taking hints, so I still don't get it.
She doesn't want to tell anyone about anything that happens. My other sister and my parents are still completely unaware that they've done so much as hold hands, and she doubts she'll tell them about kissing any time soon.
So, I was just wondering, is this too fast, am I worrying too much, will she be turning into a sex-obsessed slut any time soon, and how can I get her to communicate more? "Why do you need to know?" she asks. Well, I intend on getting a girlfriend this year, and I'm gonna have to learn somehow, right? No smartass answers. Thanks! =)
Your sister probably thinks that you're simply being nosy. She, most likely, has no idea that you are worried about her. Tell her, when you both are alone, and calmly, that you are worried about her.
Now, you're the younger brother, so she might not take you seriously (That's just how most older siblings are). But, it's worth a shot. Talking to her is the best way to get her to communicate with you more.
Be warned that she might not tell you much, since most people like to keep that kind of stuff private. That doesn't mean that they're having sex, though.
5 seconds isn't too long of a kiss, really. It's kind of in the middle; not long, but not really short.
As long as you know your sister is responsible and respects herself, and if her boyfriend is respectable, there isn't too much of a reason to worry.
Not ALL girls become sex-obsessed when they get their first kiss. It just depends on the girl and her morals. A girl can like her boyfriend a lot, but not have sex with him. Basically, what I'm saying not all girls become "sex-obsessed sluts."
Honestly, I don't understand the whole ring thing... that sounds a bit weird to me.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders
You guys are probably annoyed with the questions about Christmas presents, but I really need help. I have presents for everyone except my dad and I need some ideas! I can spend up to $30 and gosh, he's so hard to shop for. But I was wondering, what are you guys getting for your dad?
What's his personality like? What are his interests?
If he's a sports guy, get him something that has his favorite baseball/basketball/hockey/football team's logo. If he likes PLAYING sports, get him a football/basketball/whatever.
Funny guy? Get him a gag gift, or a t-shirt with a funny saying on it.
Businessman? Get him a nice set of pens, a clock, or a watch.
Music guy? Get him a CD by his favorite musician/band. See if his favorite band has a concert DVD out.
Is he a reader? Get him a book by his favorite author, or a gift card from a book store. A book light is a good choice, and so is a bookmark.
Movie guy? Get him a movie he's been wanting, or a movie you think he'll like. You can also make a 'gift basket' with a movie, some soda, and popcorn. You can even get him a gift card to your nearest movie rental store.
The safest thing is probably a shirt. Maybe a funny shirt, or something. They have shirts for everything now, so it's a pretty safe choice. :o)
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
♥Manders