E-mail:
xlil_jessx64@Hotmail.comGender:
FemaleAge:
22Member Since:
January 6, 2009Answers:
534Last Update:
November 26, 2012Visitors:
36296Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
Razhie
NinjaNeer
flare
Cux
Xui
LM
LOL_x0x
xomegaroni
mariahwannabe
more...
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
Friendship
View All
about
I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.
I have been featured 4 times. :)
advice
i just got through watching the omen, and during that movie, many religions were shown: christianty, satanism, other pagan religions, etc.
also my friend told me about his friend who is a jehovah's witness and some of their stuff got me thinking.
i was raised methodist christian in my home but turned my back on faith about a year ago. too many rules, inconsistancies, hypocrites, and it was all just very overwhelming, so i quit. and even now that i've given up on religion, i can't get it out of my head. its like i've been brainwashed. i'm not asking someone to give me back my faith, or to even lecture me.
what i'm asking is what do YOU believe? are you christian? satanist? wiccan? anything at all? please answer my question with why you believe in what you believe, and how exactly it works. thanks in advance :) (oh, and i don't judge. so even if you've made up some weird thing where you worship hotdogs, i won't mind)
Hey there :)
Hm this is a very interesting question actually!
haha The hot dogs thing made me laugh sadly to say i don't have a shrine of them.
I think many of us like to have something we can hold onto and believe in something we can feel close to. Find security and comfort in.
Its strange because there are SO many beliefs out there and its so confusing and I agree with you overwhelming when trying to process all these different rules and rituals.
Anyway to answer your question I'm 17 and I was raised Christian catholic Ive always been led to believe in Jesus and god etc etc.
Were not very strict Christians at all however I went to church when I was little and in my early teens with my Nana but thats about it. My mum is definitely not strict either.
growing up I never questioned religion you know as a kid in school we were told.. Jesus died for us etc etc and thats how it was.
When I entered high school and I was exposed to all these other religions I was like woah hold up.
It awakened zillions of questions for me. But I just sort of glossed over it and said meh whatever god is real and thats that.
Lately however Ive been questioning everything and thinking ok how could this be and why you know.. as you have said hypocrites inconsistencies..
I'm from Ireland and recently a report was issued about children being abused by priests & clergy in the church from the 1960s onwards so it really made me turn my back on my faith.
At the moment im divided. I like the idea of budhism and reincarnation mostly because it seems the most realistic. Ive never been a believer in these strict practices to follow in order to get to the afterlife and I have never followed any. Like you know these prayers to the gods and mecca fasting no sex before marriage all this.
I just think its ridiculous.
I guess you could say at the moment I'm a bit agnostic meaning I don't know what to think or believe. But I would like to know there is something out there for all of us after we die. Be it whatever form. I love the idea of heaven and meeting with loved ones again but again what can we really believe?
it really is a question of passion devotion and faith.
I hope to be like that later in life where I can give my heart to believe in something that I don't need answers its nice ya know :D
Lol anyway theres my rant I hope it gave you some sort of insight if any?
hope you find what your looking for too,
Much
I really like getting people presents and I love thinking up perfect ideas of what to make them but I can't think of ANYTHING to make my boyfriend for christmas this year...He doesn't wear necklaces or anything and I was thinking about making a scrap book or something but we don't have a lot of pictures of us together :/ I really need help thinking of something cute to do for him, I'm kind of always expected to make people awesome presents. Last year, I filled a heart shaped box with 100 reasons why I love him and I've drawn him pictures of us for a present before...help!!
Hey there,
Aw first let me say I think its great you make presents like that its really creative and special I have a friend like you too. :)
Anyway firstly don't stress. Or over think. Seems silly I know but when we get worked up or put ourselves under pressure like that to come up with an idea it almost always never happens. Its like writers block. Relax and take your mind off it and you never know something might come to you when your doing something completely different.
I was thinking about a photo collage but as you said you don't seem to have many pics together..
In that case does it have to be all of just you and him?My best friend made me two big photo collages one were of pics with me and my friends.. and the other was pics of my family and things I love :) What about something along those lines?
Or a box with all his favorite things like I don't Know say his fav chocolate..his fav song..movie cologne again my friend made me something like that before (except it included my favorite lipgloss etc..haha.)you could maybe include reminders of special memories or times you spent together?
Maybe do the old school Cd of favorite songs/love songs? if you haven't before.
Thats really All I can think of..unfortunately I'm not as creative! I hope I helped to spark some ideas for you! good luck and anything you give your bf im sure he will appreciate as its coming from you :)
much
Hello, I am 14 and a female. Me and this guy have been best friends for a few years now. We always talked about everything and i always helped him with his problems, especially when he was dating my best friend in 6th grade. i discovered that i really like this guy and have strong feelings for him. we recently dated and it was going good. until one day he stopped hugging & talking to me in the hallways. he wanted to have this guy break up w/ me for him, but they guy never did. so my friend asked him if we were still dating and he said no. i was whip lashed. we havent really talked since then and we never talk anymore. i miss things and i really really like him, but he likes someone else now(a girl who has previously cheated on him) i want to be with him, and i know somethings there. what do i do?? thankyou.
Hey there :)
Unfortunately sweety I have to agree with the last answer.
I mean think about the way he has treated you. No reason..just stops talking to you..doesn't tell you why.
and I know you probably know all this already in your heart and your sat there thinking but they don't know him they don't know how used to be so sweet.
He used to your best friend the one you could laugh with rely on..and tell absolutely everything to. right?
The truth is we have nearly all had someone like that in ours lives.
I know I have although I had not got deeper feelings for him.
but I did love him as a best friend. What happened? he changed. Plain and simple.
He stopped talking to me..texting me being there for me. it hurt like hell because like you I didn't know what I had done wrong. I wanted him in my life so badly I felt like I needed him there because he always had been.
But then I realised the way he started treating me wasn't right or fair I didn't deserve it and neither do you.
Im sorry I can't give you an explanation for this guys behaviour I wish I could but people change thats the sad part.
We have to learn to accept and let go.
I still think about my best guy friend and it gets me a little bit upset but then I remind myself hes the one who changed and missed out. I don't want to be around the person he is now.
I think you do deserve an explanation though.
For months I was hurt and confused and then one night I said you know what we need to talk about things.. it didn't end well for us and we don't speak anymore but I know thats for the best.
I think if you feel like you need that you should talk to him. Ask him where it all went wrong.. what did you do to deserve it? remind him of what good friends you were how you miss it.
If he feels remorse and wants to get back to that great :)
But if he doesn't that really is your loss. You should move on hold your head up high and be dignified about it. People come in and out of our lives all the time just think of the good times when it gets you down thats what I do.
Feelings will fade eventually over time trust me.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck :)
I hope you feel you can relate to my experience because I felt I could to this situation.
Please feel free to inbox me if you have anymore questions
Much
My boyfriend and I hug a lot. We both are 13 and we both are new to this dating thing. We have been going out for 9 months and I just now noticed it. It doesn't mean I don't want to be around him or anything. He has a boner everytime we hug and it doesnt't quite bother me but it is weird. Is this because he wants to have sex with me because that would be even weirder especially at this age? Why does my boyfriend get boners around me or not around me? Being a female this is new to me so I am hoping that you can help.
Hey there, :)
Aww this is totally normal for guys your age.
You are both literally just going through puberty and guys find stuff like that hard to control at that age.
It doesn't necessarily mean he wants to have sex with you.
What it probably means is he is having a rush of new feelings he doesn't quite know how to control or what they mean.
He will learn how to control it as he gets used to it and as he gets older.
Your both so young so I can understand how this is all new and a little confusing.
But please you seem like a sensible girl so be careful and although you might experience sexual feelings and urges during this time do not act on them. Your only 13 so theres plenty of time :)
Hope this helped and relax whats happening is completely normal.
If you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me.
Take care & much
Hey,
How do you get blood stains off of a white down comforter. i cut my finger and it bled all over it... I looked at the instructions and it said wash in cold water only with mild soap.. but that's not gonna get a blood stain out.
It also said do not bleach.
WHat do I do???
Hey there,
Ok well the washing in cold water part is right but I would use salt to scrub the stain off
sounds silly I know but trust me it works! it depends how new the stain is though? you should get at it straight away so it doesn't have time to set into the comforter.
After you have done that you should notice the stain becomes more faint then put it on for a normal whites wash :)
this worked with a pair of white jeans for me so idk it might work again it depends on the newness of the stain.
Good luck,
Jess.
I really like one of my good friends im 16 male and im gay ive had feelings for him for awhile but im nervous to say anything not sure how he will reacti dont wanna lose him as a friend and im not sure if hes gay do i just ask him? im unsure what to do i really like him do i flirt with him or just talk to him how do i go about it?
hey there,
Okay well is your guy friend straight first of all.. does he know your gay?
this is a situation that you need to handle with caution. If your friend is straight and doesnt know you are gay and you hit on him chances are he will freak out especially if you flirt with him.
I would advice you to avoid pursuing your already guy friends as it will just complicate things in the long run.
Even if your friend knows your gay it will put him in an awkward position if you hit on him.
If he on the other hand is gay then by all means go for it :)
Hope this helps.. best of luck
-Jess.
I have recently been removed out of my moms house because her wife doesnt want me. How do I get back in her life? for me to feel whole again? for her to help me raise my baby . Im only 15 i feel neglected, i love my mom but i dnt know how to do this anymore, someone please help!!
Hey there :)
Im very sorry to hear that your in such a horrible situation.
However its difficult to give you advice as you havn't provided much background..
you say her wife doesnt wan't you and did your mom support her on that?
where have you been moved to? who is looking after you?
Is there any adult in your life who you can talk to about how your feeling an aunt older sibling uncle teacher guidance counselor anyone?
This way you can explain how you are feeling to this adult and they can help you sit down with your mom and tell her your worries. Tell her your feeling neglected how you love her you need her support.
Shes your mom she should feel the same way && she should support you no matter what over anyone else.
I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out.
Please feel free to inbox me if you have anymore questions
Much
I want to say something to make her know im thinking about her at all times, that she is amazing and everything i want what do i say?
Hey there :)
aw thats sweet my boyfriend is like you too :)
What he does is text me every morning before school good morning beautiful and then at the end of the day he asks me how it went.
we could be talking about something and he will randomly say i love you..or your amazing..or I love your smile your laugh..etc.
Text her and let her know you miss her.
Its the small things that count :)
Don't over compliment but don't under compliment either.
We just like little reminders that you think about us and that you care. those sort of things work.
Much
Well i made out for my first time the other night and i'm scared i did bad..
Me and him kinda have liked each other on and off
I think there was something but like it could have just been what worked at the time..
we had really long make out sesh's than we would cuddle than went back to making out and did this all through the night so do you think that means i didn't do too bad?
Or what i'm confused and really hope i wasn't a bad kisser..
If you could help that'd be just dandy.
Hey there :)
making out for the first time is always a little nerve racking!
I remember asking a similar question like this on here at one stage.
But honestly as the last answer said don't stress. you obviously weren't terrible if he kept kissing you!
Just remember the basics don't use your teeth and go easy on the tongue avoid the "washing machine" syndrome! there is nothing worse then a wet slobbery kiss thats all over the place. (sorry to be blunt!)
Kiss gently softly slowly. You develop a technique which comes with practice so relax and enjoy it. :)
19/f so there's this guy who sits behind me in english class. we talk a lot. and i flirt with him and he flirts with me. I've noticed that when i am doing something at me he'll stare at me, and doesn't think i see him, but i do, and i do the same to him. well he also smiled at me in class and then looked down and and smiled. i think i made it a little obvious. but i can't really tell if he really likes me. He tease me, like in class if i say something wrong he'll correct me, and when i walked in class one day he said your late, and i was like thanks mom? lol so idk and today i asked him for gum and he said he had some in his car. my class is on the third floor so i took the stairs, and he going in the same direction. and i asked him if he was following me but he just said what. and whenever i would turn around and kind of look in his direction he would smile. and ii kind of slowed down and he walked next to me and asked me if i wanted some gum in my car since i asked for some earlier. and he gave me some. it was weird because i wasn't sure what to say to him. i felt like he knows i like him and wanted to say something but i couldn't. i felt stupid for not saying anything, but at the same time i kept telling myself that he was probably just being nice, and to stop getting in over my head. in class i asked my friend if i should ask him to hangout. except for when i talked to her i said should i hang out with her? to not make it obvious. but he was smiling at me when i turned around so i think he knew i was talking about him. haha we talk outside of class like on other days when i see him around school. i mean does he like me? haha
Hey theree :)
Okay so what il start off by saying is no one here can tell you whether he likes you or not for definite we can only assume.
Firstly I would advice you to stop anaylizing every little thing that happens between you two. I know easier said then done its a common trait associated with the mind of the female lol we over think things.
Basically what i'm saying is go with the flow. Be cool. Be confident. Don't worry and stress if all these little things mean something or not && Just go for it and put yourself out there.
it seems scary I know everyone fears rejection but hey we never know unless we try right?
so go out on a limb. be more flirtatious there are definitely some signs there. So instead of thinking about them act on them! situations like this happen aall the time. Guy and girl over anaylise each others actions trying to figure out ok does he/she like me..should I make a move and turns out nothing ever comes of it because the people involved are too afraid.
You never know he could be working up the courage to ask you out!
Talk more & ask him out if he says no you tried right? its his loss!
I hope this helped && I wish you luck
much
Okay...So my ex and I broke up at the end of summer. I'm dating a new guy now but I don't realy like him and I feel liek I might still like my ex... See I want to talk to my ex. After a whole mess of things he tried to apologize to me at the end of summer but I didn't really want to hear it and I gues I forgave him but it was one phone call and he went back to being a dick and igonring me... and thats not what I want. I want to talk to him. face to face. After he dumped me in a text and we only talked about it over the phone all I want is to just sit down with him and talk it out because I'm not happy. I'm still hurt abotu what he did to me and I just want it to go away and I want to be happy and I feel like that won't happen until we're friends. Or I don't knwo... there just HAS to be something better than this. I don't know what to do or how to bring this up because I think that he thinks that I'm happy and okay or at least he doesn't care... and I don't know I'm super confused... What should I do??
Hey there :)
Okay the first thing I will say to you is if you don't care very much for this new guy please please leave him. Its not good for you because your fooling yourself and its definately not good for him either.
It seems to me like there is obviously still feelings there for your ex whether they are good bad or indifferent you need to deal with them.
Jumping into new relationships straight away will just complicate things. I think you need time by yourself to think about everything that has happened. I don't know what your ex did but dumping you by text was pretty low in my opinion and you deserve much better then that.
you seem to just want some sort of closure from all this. Please don't feel like you need someone who hurt you in your life to be happy!
First you need to decide okay am I still in love with my ex.. If so should I be?
seems like a stupid question to ask yourself but deep down youl know the answer if hes only going to cause you pain.
Once you figure out what you actually want from this guy then you should arrange to talk to him face to face like you said.
Personally I think you should just be friends as all this guy seems to be causing is confusion. you don't need stress and bullsh!t in your life.
Hope this helps and I hope everything works out for you :)
best of luck & much
my bf fingered me a week ago and when he did it really hurt and it got all swollen because it was only the sencond time he did it and it really hurt to pee and stuff and it still sorta hurts. is it still healing or is there something wrong?
Hey there :)
this is totally normal so don't worry the very same thing happened to me when my bf first did it. I bled a lot and it stung when I peed too.
honestly don't be afraid to tell him to go softer and gentler. guys aren't mind readers and im sure he won't want to make you feel uncomfortable!
much
i know of this guy and i think he is soo hot lol. i have a friend that is friends with him and we're hanging out soon. should i ask about him? how should i casually bring it up. i want to meet him soo bad. any ideas without making me sound desperate/creepy lol.
and we don't go to the same school so i've never talked to him before.
Heyy :)
you said your all hanging out soon right?thats your perfect opurtunity to get to know him :)
be fun and flirty without comming on too strong.
Talk to him find out his interests..music sport tv whatever :)
You could subtly say to your friend oh whos he..he seems nice or whatever.
The first step is to just talk to him get a conversation going to see if you guys have anything in common..approaching him is always the hardest but once thats out of the way it will come naturally :)
Best of luck hope it works out..
anymore questions please feel free to inbox me again
Much
16/f
Me and my bf have been together for a while and we would like to have sex soon...and that's where the story starts...
A year ago,we were in a relationship for 8 months...but then he let me down and I was really dying inside but I didn't let it show.it's a long story really.Now,a year has passed and the old flame has started burning,for both him and me...he really changed and is treating me right...but because I was hurting the way I did,I always think he doesn't love me and wants to use me...even though he never tried anything without my permission...I love him a lot and I wanna give in to my desire but I'm so afraid of him leaving me when he gets what he wants.We have talked about this a lot and he told me a million times he's not like that (which I believe because he had a lot of chances which he didn't take because he knew I'd be hurt by his actions)but still I can't get myself to trust him,but I know I love him.I'm scared of being hurt.Why am I feeling like this?
Hey there (:
Okay if he hurt you bad its completely normal to feel like this and although you don't want to you can't help yourself. Its understandable and alot of us girls go through it at some stage.
Its going to take time for you to build up that sense of trust again.. Until you feel that again
my advice would be to hold off on sex. Really I mean you are the same age as me 16.. there is no rush?there should be no pressue :)
I think you should just sit down and talk to your bf tell him you wan't to do it but you are not 100% there yet. If You are having doubts over trust or whatever you shouldn't have sex. It needs to feel totally right.
If you talk to your bf and hes understanding about this then he will wait around if he truely loves you and means what he says.
He can't just say its not what he wants he has to prove it by too.
Ive been with my bf almost a year and I knew i wanted him to be my first because I completely trust him. Please don't rush into it if you feel your gonna get hurt again. (: trust your instincts they are almost always 99.9% right!
I hope this made sense and helped some how :) && I hope you take it on board but the choice is completely yours. If it were me I would wait.
Much
what does it mean when you have pains in your stomach and you poop has blood in it?
Hey there,
Okay no one here will be able to give you a definate answer to that unless we have a qualified doctor amongst us.
But to me (im not trying to frighten you)but that definately doesnt sound right.
It could be nothing..it could be something your best bet is to go to your doctor imediately and get it checked out.
Taking an educated guess it sounds like it could be something to do with your bowels.
My advice would be to get it seen to straight away (:
sorry I Cant tell you exactly whats wrong
best of luck
much
Hi, you replied to my question about how to get this guy I like interested, if you've forgotten the question it's here: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=580416
Firstly, thankyou for the advice and I'll feedback in a minute. Secondly, this is long and very pathetic but please read it.
Now here's the thing, knowing that I might see Jake (guy I like), I've been going to college looking really good and walking confidently etc. and I NEVER saw him. Then one day, I went in looking utter shit, and to make matters worse my friend did a photoshoot on me (for photography class) in which she covered my eyes in red and green eyeshadow to make them look bruised, then put fake blood all over my face. I tried to get it off but it only half worked so i was left with most of my foundation off, bruised looking eyes and red smears all over my face.
I was in a bad mood anyway, & had to walk to the bus stop. So i was running down the stairs really fast, trying to keep my head down so no one would notice me, when who I do see standing at the bottom of the stairs but Jake watching me strangely.
I was running so didn't have time to think but I was extremely pissed off when I saw him cause I knew I looked like shit, so I just glanced at him (actually I'm pretty sure I glared at him, due to my pissed off state), turned in the other direction and hurried off with a moody look on my face, shoulders hunched over as if to try to hide myself. I don't know why but in those split seconds it was like I thought that if I looked pissed off and moody it would somehow excuse how awful I looked.
I walked off really fast and then threw my head back in dispair (the way you do when you've just made a fool of yourself) only to realise he was still behind me. I then ran off forwards, almost hit the door, tried to pull it, realised you had to push it, finally got through it and hurried off with my head down.
I'm pretty sure there's no way he'll be interested now, I didn't exactly give off the right image, did I? Before I know I came across as kind of fun, confident & mysterious, this time I just came across as a pathetic, insecure, moody bitch!
What I'm asking is, should I even bother trying to pursue him now or should I just give up? And if I should continue, how should I go about it? I feel so embarrassed! I'm never usually like this, I don't know what happened! I felt confident around him before and now I don't.
I'm aware I've just rambled on about a load of crap & that even being so bothered about it is pathetic, but I'm just worried that now he'll want nothing to do with me, & I havn't really got anyone else to speak to. I don't like telling my friends who I fancy, I don't know why, I should really. So yeah, I'd really appreciate it if you'd answer.
Thankyou, x
Heyy there :)
Okay let me first say this is not pathetic at All!..
Ok you need to stop for a minute and think.
everybody has bad days! seriously we so wouldnt be human if we didnt.
To be honest chances are (and I dont mean this in a bad way) but he probably isnt thinking about this situation half as much as you are.
As girls we like have a tendancy to over anyalise situations.
nobody can be happy look good be in a good mood 100% of the time its just not normal.
Just because you may think you gave off a bad vibe doesnt mean you should give up being interested in him!
dont feel embarassed seriously he has seen what you are usually like so its not like your this way 24/7. one bad day doesnt change how people see you.
My friends see me as fun outgoing chatty nice whatever.. but when im having a bad day it doesnt mean they change their views on me or see me diferently.Its just "one of them days"
next time you see him or bump into him stirke up convirsation..maybe if your still feeling bad about it drop it in and say something like omg i had suuch a bad day last week..or whatever :)
I hope this helps! honestly just relax put it out of your mind don't over think it and talk to the guy =)
good luck && much
my girlfriend cheated on me with her ex and everything is all screwed up now were still together but i dont trust her at all anymore im always wondering what she's doing and who she's talking to it doesnt help that she works at a bar to i mean i guess i still love her but it makes me sick just thinking about what she did how am i supposed to trust her again
Heyy there,im real sorry to hear that :(
Okay so you really need to ask yourself is this really worth it?
do I want to be in a relationship where Im constantly feeling paronied?or I can't trust my gf?
When you think about it what kind of relationship is that?
she really needs to proove to you that shes truely sorry..she needs to earn your trust back..
you need to sit down and talk to her about all this if you havnt already..tell her how much it hurt you that you need to feel like you can trust her again for this to stand any chance.
If you can't which is totally understandable I would say move on now..if you stay in something where theres no trust shes just going to get iritated of you accusing her of stuff she may or may not be doing and it will fall apart anyway.
You need to decide if its worth the second chance..go with your gut instinct you probably already know the answer. If she shows no interest signs of remorse..is always gone then dude im sorry to say shes really not worth it..you deserve way better.
I hope this helped.. good luck :)
and much
16/f.
So I've seen this guy around college recently. We've never spoken but were in the same room for an hour once and made loads of eye contact, kept eyeing each other up and smiling at each other etc. There was a lot of chemistry.
Then I found out he had a gf, & eventually decided not to pursue it. However, they've recently broken up (mutual decision) and I think I might try to pursue him now. Thing is, I only ever see him around sometimes & we've never actually spoken directly to each other. I've added him on facebook, but we've never talked on there. I know we have a lot of common. He's in a band, and into art & the same music as me. We don't have any of the same friends, but know some of the same poeple.
I'm really shy and don't know how to go about pursuing him, any ideas?
x
Hey there :)
Okay I know it can be scary and you say your shy but really the first step to pursuing him is to strike up convirsation :)
think about it what have you got to loose?you said yourself you think you have alot in common..
strike up convirsation about some band you like or soemthing to do with music or whatever really.
think of him as any other friend and remember to relax and be yourself I know its nerver racking but once you get over that first herdle of actually approaching him the rest will come naturally :)
don't sit back and do nothing because you could be missing out on a something that could potentially be great and youl forever kick yourself wondering what would of happend!
Maybe even talk about some class or something in college there are a wide range of things to talk about at your disposal get to know him :) & go from there.
He could be delighted you came to talk to him he might be afraid to make the first move too alot of guys are like that..so just be bold and go for it!
best of luck & hope it works out for you
hope this helped too..
much
hey!:) i'm in a bit of a predicament and i was hoping you could help! i'm 18f.
so me and this guy have known each other for 5 years now .. we call each other best friend but we really have this weird relationship where we're more than friends but we're not having sex or anything. he's also my cousins neighbor. anyway my cousin doesn't like him anymore because she thinks he is always playing me (even though we're not even dating) and just dumb things like that. she doesn't even like us hanging out, when truly we're close friends. one time i was at his house and we were sitting outside by his pool and she seen us out her window and texted me saying "why are you over there with him??" it's like hellooo we're friends what the hell. and the funny thing is she has this boyfriend that she keeps going back to after he constantly yells at her and they always fight and he treats her like shit and she thinks she can tell me who to hang out with?
the problem is my cousin is one of my best friends so i hate her hating that i'm hanging out with him, especially when she knows since she can see whenever i'm at his house. i even tell her we're just friends but she still gets pissed .. i don't know what to do!!
Hey there..
hm this is a bit of a predicament all right! il do my best :)
okay so yes your cousin really has no right to dictate like that to you.
there could be a number of reasons why shes doing it too! what struck me most was the most obvious.have you considered she might be jealous?maybe she has some sort of underlining crush on this guy?(I dont know just a thought) as that would explain her hostility.
she may also just be over protective and think shes looking out for you.
either way you need to talk to her..tell her shes one of your bestfriends but so is this guy..and your not prepared to loose either && tell her in the nicest way possible to step back tell her you dont get involved in her relationship or friendships and don't tell her who she should/shouldnt hang out with & that she should do the same,tell her you hope she can respect that.
If she can't tell her you don't want to fall out or feel like you have to chose one over the other but lets face it nobody wants to be around someone like that even if they are family.
you guys need to talk and thrash it out basicly in a civil way.
this girl needs to see sense otherwise shes gonna loose alot of close friends.
I hope she gives you your space otherwise your gonna have to make a choice between them both something I hope and im sure you hope won't happen.
I hope this helps!
good luck & anymore questions please feel free to inbox me :)
Jess-16/f
I'm 19 and I broke up with my boyfriend after 1 year of going out, and i haven't stopped crying. Thing is, i dont know why i feel like the worst person. Me graduating year 12 was the proudest moment of my life, because i dropped out the first time due to mental health issues, and when i went back the following year(2009) it took a lot for me to actually stick around, but i did it, despite all the hell i had been through during the year and before it...My boyfriend ruined my grad night by getting drunk with his sisters and house mate and making me look like a complete fool. It was also right after 2 of my closest friends passed away too so I was heartbroken that he'd do such things.
On Christmas day, which was our first christmas together, he spent the day being drunk and flirting with another girl who used to have a crush on him then he got violent because i told him to behave and stop being an idiot.
Then, earlier this year, he beat me. Of course he was drunk, but that's no excuse. I ended up having to call my dad at about 1am to come pick me up, there ended up being a fist fight between them.
There have been other things too, like him defending his housemate/friend instead of sticking up for me when he was being a jerk. drinking behind my back then lying about it even after i caught him...etc.
Why am i feeling like this? after everything he has done to me and the hell he put me through time and time again, why am i feeling like the bad one here? :(
I don't want to go back to him, because i know it will just start all over again, but i hate hurting people, i really hate seeing people cry.
hey there.
Okay firstly let me commemorate you on being so amazingly strong.
Im so sorry to hear about all the stuff youve had to go through thats a huge amount that many would not be able to cope with..but you it seems as if youve come through it as a strong brave independant person.
You ask yourself why you feel this way?I don't know you but I think its safe to say from reading this its because you are a truely kind hearted good willed person. it almost seems as if you care for others more then yourself even if they have done you wrong.I get that I used to be like that.
Its great to care about others it shows what a loving person you are but there comes a time when you have to learn that some people genuinely don't deserve that or arent worth your time or effort.I'm sure you realise that you wouldnt have left your boyfriend otherwise.You need to think of your self for once.Your not being selfish by doing that..you are just having self worth. thats natural and we need that..we don't need people abusing us or taking us for granted.
This jerk used your good nature and took advantage of it don't in a second feel sorry for him or feel bad because you are one million times better off without him. remember that you deserve so much more in life never forger that :)
Youl find someone who will actually respect you and love you..I know that sounds cliche and everyone says that but honestly if you keep possitive and strong the right person isnt far away.
I really hope this helped and that things get better for you :)
don't sit around feeling bad for a jerk who hurt YOU get out there and live your life & enjoy it..
Good Luck & much