AskJR's

advice column

about

I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR

advice

Okay i use the asthma medicine Advair and i heard that it is a steroid. So does it make you fat? Is that the reason that i cant lose weight? I have stopped taking it. But iono... thanks

Cody*

Steriods help the weight gain if taken enough but Adviar is so little amount I wouldn't think so.

Go to the Advair website and read about it and side effects.

But if your doctor prescribed it you shouldn't stop until talking to him/her.

[view]

im re-doing my room soon. like im painting my walls and getting all new furniture and everything. my room is like all white now and it has wooden floors so i kinda want to get a rug. if anyone has any cute ideas...

i also want to get stuff from pbteen.com
so if theres any cute furniture from there that you think would look good together and match with a rug and other stuff

thanks xoxo

You didn't mention the amount of money planned on this project....but...

Paint your walls and trim first -- the color you want the basics of the room to be-- that is the essense of the room. Walls one color and trim a complimentary but different color.

Furniture can be a third color or white or wood. It's the spread and throw pillows that'll set it off.

As for a rug, liking beachy things, search the net for rugs (beach themed) like a beach umbrella, or bamboo matting, or one that looks like a sand box or sand, maybe water- the ocean with tropical fish which might be the colors that correspond to your colors...

A smaller version of a beach umbrella and lounge chair would be cute in a corner for seating, and pails and shovels from the kid's department or dime store. Bucket-pails can be turned upside down as tables (if big enough) or used to put sand in and plant plants in.

Look for tropical fish to hang on the wall or place here and there, or make a hanging thing out of them with invisable fishing line.

Colors are a breeze, it's the theme you need to look for.

[view]

This is from:Forgot and she remember...

does that mean she knew why i wrote it?
the reason y i wrote it is to tell her (between the lines) that i like her. is that why she didnt look at me when she talked?

and you wrote i'm afriad of the truth, the truth about what?

Hello,

I mentioned you were afraid of the truth of how you felt about her because you wrote it in a story instead of outright telling her face to face. Maybe feeling rejected was more like it. Sorry.

I believe she knew why you wrote it and felt uncomfortable and that's why she didn't look at you in the eyes. If someone won't look at you when talking to you it either means one or two things: they are lying to you or feel uncomfortable, maybe embarassed.

It's all said and done now and if she is bi or gay you should talk to her and maybe you'll have a chance. If she's straight, then let it go, or you could choose to have a heart to heart talk with her and explain the story you wrote and it was your way of telling her how you felt-- but you could loose her friendship entirely because she wouldn't want to hurt you by rejecting you that way.

Good luck sweetie and possibly let it go for now.

JR

[view]

14/f I know that somebady just asked this, but I have a question too. I got my period when I was ten and have had fairly big boobs since then. I am currently wearing a size 40C bra. I'm about 5'2 in height and I could still possibly grow a little bit. Lately, my aureoles have gotten bigger and bigger. I know this is a sign my boobs could grow more. My question is, how much bigger do you think they can grow?

You will continue to grow physically until around 21 years old.

[view]

hi, i was wondering, how big/wide does the guy have o be to pleasure the girl (like for it to feel good for her/moaning etc.)

That would depend on each girl, and depend on sexual experiences and depend on just about everything.

It could be bigger is good or hurts. It could be anything.

There is no right or wrong answer to that question for everyone.

[view]

Has anybody ever used sun-in hair lightener spray? does it work well?
i'm going to AZ for a week and i think i may want to use it while im tanning and outside.

thanks! :]

I have but I'm a natural blond anyway and it works.

What color degree for others will depend on their natural hair color and tints. You a brunette and red in your hair and end up with redder highlights for instance.

Think about your family genetics and your own hair color to determine if you want to chance the results.

[view]

I saw a question about how to get guys to notice a girl at lets say a mall(asked by a girl), and i was wondering how to get girls to notice me in a public place. say like a mall for instance. and if i feel that i should approach a girl, what is a good way to get into a conversation and not make a fool of myself ?

im 16/m by the way(17 in june)

When you see a girl you are interested in (or want to be) smile at her and give her a warm, sincere look to let her know you think she's cute, etc. Maybe she'll smile back and then maybe you could ask her if she'd like a coke at the mall eating area after introducing yourself of course.

Strike up a conversation- what grade is she in- what school- whatever pops in your head. Be yourself.

[view]

i seem to forget things, its not my fult its just how i am. But Lara remember every thing of the story i wrote her in our 9th grade year at high school. i had (well still do) a big crush on her. but i try so hard to forget her but i cant cause she is my best friend, I'm a women who just became bi at age 19. she was my first crush. anyways last week she told me her old friend (who acts) plays out my fiction story of Lara. I said "she is stesling my idea, but whatever its a old story,i dont even remember the story" i laugh. Lara didnt look at me but started to talk while looking at something on the table and said "well the story was about....." it went on and i was shocked that she remember everything. does that mean she knew why i wrote it? i worte it to show her that i like her. but i was an ass to say "yeah i wrote all my friends fiction stories about their life" which was a lie. Cause i was afriad that she might know i liked her.why did i do that!? i was such a nervous jerk. what does that mean?

It means you are afraid of the truth and the truth to be known.

That's as simple as it gets.

Come clean and own up to the real and true story and let it go.

Bygones.

[view]

it's really obvious that my guyfriend has a crush on me, but i dont like him - i like his friend.

he said that he will tell me who he likes "later" when we talk on an instant messenger.

well i dont know whether to go on or not later because i dont want him to say he likes me because i dont like him.

please, any suggestions? & i know he likes me and not anyone else.

Don't be a coward and put off the inevitable. Go on messenger and talk to him.

If he says he likes you, be gracious and act flattered but tell him honestly that you don't feel the same way and you're sorry but consider him a good friend nonetheless.

Just be honest and gracious, nice but plain English. Head this off at the pass.

[view]

well i made a really big mistake this past weekend. i got a little drunk and me and one of my friends kissed...the problem is that the boy i like doesnt like girls that drink and i am afraid he wont talk to me when he finds out...and the whole school like knows somehow and i think it is being blown out of proportion...so i am afraid of his reaction...should i lie to him?

No don't lie-- he'll know you're lying because where there's smoke- there's fire.

Tell him the absolute truth-- you made a mistake a drank, got drunk, and kissed a guy and feel bad about both kissing him and drinking. Ask him to understand and forgive you and promise to not drink again, etc.

The truth might costs you that boyfriend but it will also be better than lying and him constantly asking you about it, accusing you anyway, and calling you a liar which all will eventually break you up anyway.

[view]

Each year, I am usually backstabbed my someone I trusted and was really close with. In 7th grade, my two best friends were after my bf who I was dating for more than 6 months. They made a plan to become friends to make me jealous, and steal my boyfriend and turn everyone against me. Last year was horrible. I moved on, and made new friends. In 8th grade, my good friend who helped me through last year ditches me all the time for my ex-boyfriend, treats me horrible, and talks crap about me for no reason. Well, I basically ended the friendship with her too and she had the nerve to give me back all the gifts Ive given her throughout our whole friendship, I know, extremely childish.. Well, I threw the bag of gifts away and gave it to people I'm trying my hardest to ignore her but it's just so hard since she's basically purposely in my face to make it hard for me. I dont talk to my ex boyfriend from this year because now they are best friends and he hates me. I still talk to my other ex and I'm really good friends with him(for now...) Ok, so now that you know everything, I just dont know how I can basically trust people or even make more friends (which I have already).. If I always end up getting hurt in the end. What should I do? I dont want to end up not having friends because the ones ive dealt with have backstabbed me in the end. But i dont know how I can stay optimitic if I keep getting hurt.
I'm so sorry for it being so long!

First, don't give trust automatically-- it has to be earned by people. Respect yes, but not trust.

People take advantage of trusting people too often.

Be polite and nice to everyone since they all know each other and be the bigger and better person.

Any friends you make from now on must earn your trust over time. Stop giving gifts as you can not buy friends or trust.

Be yourself but be on guard that at your age and your grade there are backstabbers-- it's immaturity and selfishness.

You apparently are more mature and a nice person. So be nice, be the more mature one of the bunch, be forgiving and let it go but learn the lesson not to trust everyone.

Let people earn your trust from here on out and learn to stand on your own.

[view]

I started playing it about 2 days ago. I'm in love with it! Thing is, there's this one bit about it that's really confusing.

If you know the game, you'll be able to answer my question. If not, I guess you could as well...dunno.

When you're questioning the people in the bank, church, etc. sometimes one of em goes like (for example) "John Smith hasn't seen or heard anything suspicious".

Now what does that mean? Does it mean forget about him being the criminal? He's the one who did it?...He doesn't know who did it?...What?


Here's the link if anyone wants to check it. http://playsleuth.com/index2.html

Thanks loads.

Note: I don't want hints and cheats, I just want to know what the phrase means since English isn't my first language...

It simply means that character "John Smith" does not know anything at all. He is a waste to concentrate on-- move on to someone and something else.

John Smith knows nothing.

[view]

I'v heard it's unhealthy to sleep too little and too much. However, that's all I do... I go to bed really late on weekdays and wake up really early. I've become so use to it that I cant help it even if I try to go to bed early. On the weekends, I can sleep for about 12 to 14 hrs.. If i wake up, I close my eyes and just sleep longer and longer and I can do this all day. How can I start going to bed early, when Ive tried so hard already and I just CANT fall asleep... I literally just stay lying in bed, eyes closed, for hours...Until the usual time I go to bed which is like 1 or 2 am. I'm not going to take any sleeping pills or anything like that. First, is it true that it's bad to sleep TOO much? And, how can I make it a routine of sleeping more on weekdays?

Everyone's different with their sleep requirements--age is a factor, work/school and active life style is a factor and sounds to me like you have an over active brain.

It won't shut off to allow you to sleep.

One or two things to remember, no chocolate or caffine (including sodas) after 7-8pm, as these cause brain stimulation as does smoking.

Try reading in bed awhile and see if that doesn't slow your brain down enough to allow you to sleep.

Go to bed at the exact same time every night regardless. Listen to soothing music or get a sound machine that plays ocean sounds or whatever.
It's a "white noise" that drowns out silence or excessive sounds in the house or outside. It helps the brain think of nothing actually.

Sleeping too much is a sign of depression and sleeping too little is a sign of over active brain. Which can be AHDD (hyper disorder)...

Try to chill, try exercises, yoga, reading, any and everything to stop your brain!

[view]

One of my friends called me today to ask me if I could help her with an assignment on weakness and strength and she brought up this question "Do the strong opress the weak today?" and I started thinking about it.. at first I said "not really, the rich give to the poor, the physically strong help work out with the physically weak, the mentally strong give advice to those weaker etc" cause i mean we are good and considerate as humasn we try to help, we dont think "i cant help this person cause then he'd be stronger than me" we're not like that, but she seemed convinces that the world was evil- agreed, it is, bad things happen, but it has nothing to do with the strong opressing the weak, does it? What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with her or me?

Human nature has been and unfortunately always will be the strong survive and the strong take advantage of the weaker.

That will never change.

Yes, there are good people that are the exception to that rule as in every rule and human behavior.

But, still today the stronger do take advantage of the weaker, whether it be physical or mental.

[view]

my boyfriend is a super sweetie. but, there's one problem.his grades r kinda sucky. he most the time dosn't have his book report, homework, and things like that. he's really sweet. i mean, he's super cute, nice, funny, polite, and he likes me a lot. i also like him A LOT. i mean like, "crush on him since fourth grade" a lot.i DO NOT want to dump him. i want this relationship to last a loooong time.

So why doesn't he do his homework, book reports, etc. like everyone else?

That is the real issue and question?

Does he not care about his grades and future?

Does he run around and hang out instead of doing homework?

Personally, I don't care how cute he is, or nice, or sweet, if he isn't gonna take his school work seriously-- I'd see no future and dump him.

[view]

i am an indian and from bengal.please supply one meal chart as daily menu so that my wife can have necessary calcium out of that as she is carrying for 20 weeks i.e. in her 2nd trimester.

Impossible.

Go see a OB/GYN and let the doctor prescribe prenatal vitamins for her and all she has to do is eat healthy.

[view]

i don't know..
like we really weren't close at all before...
i've liked him for about 2 or 3 months..
and now we're kinda talking to each other..
not that much though..
and i want to get closer to him..
from what i've seen and heard...he doesn't seem like a really social person..
but how can i get together with him after school or something? like maybe a group thing..
idk..
please help.
i just want to get closer to him and maybe somehow organize a group thing and meet up with him.
i know this seems really stupid..
im just not good with these things..
thanks in advance!

Why if he is shy and not that social--- he might not ever ask or suggest y'll to get together-- so it's up to you.

Ask him to hang out and get a coke or something- sit in a park and talk and feed the birds, whatever, a mutual area that makes him feel at ease.


Go for it-- make the first move.

[view]

On saturday, I went to the movies with the boy of my DREAMS. I REALLY like this kid, and we've been talking for about a month, and My friends and I were eatting dinner outside and my friend made me laugh and i FARTED! and EVERYONE of my friends started LAUGHING and I started to cry because with me, farts dont exsist, like really, if i fart i get SO embarassed and I FARTED INFRONT OF HIM!!!!! And for the past 3 days its been replaying in my head CONSTANTLY and I cant concentrate, i cant go by the kid i like, i am completely mortified and humilated. WHAT DO I DO?! I feel like I need therapy because of it, im about to cry just thinking about it, because since then he's been different, and I dont know how to relax and let it roll off my shoulders! I'M MAJORLY STRESSING THE FACT THAT I FARTED! I know this sounds hilarious but its seriously screwing up my mental health! and everyone is telling me that i should just not even care BUT I CANT! it was SO EMBARASSING! and to top it off, we were supposed to be all kissing and making out that night and he didnt do it once!!!!!!!! THats why i think its different!

PLEASE HELP ME!! I FEEL LIKE CRAWLING UP IN A WHOLE AND DIEING!!!!! =[

Why is it okay for boys/men to fart and it's funny but not girls/women?

Okay-- he probably knew you were embarassed and didn't know how to make you feel at ease so just ignored the whole incident.

Let it go, let time pass. Continue to be yourself and continue to talk to him as nothing ever happened.

Believe it or not, time forgets all things.

Move on and pass it or you will relive it everyday and cause HIM to relive it everyday!

[view]

i am an indian. i have 100 mbps broadband internet connection with unlimited download facility. how can i watch free online movies in my laptop through that connection without any interruption? i have loaded real player/windows media player/ivivo/dvd player etc. in my laptop.

There is no such thing as free online movies.

You can subscribe to Starz movies and it goes through Real Player with unlimited downloads.

Or you can buy and install the tv antenna and usb plug in that has the software to install to get tv channels and movies.

But-- nothing is for free.

[view]

I'm making a video for my high school lifer video for a lifer dinner. Being a lifer means that you have been at the school from Pre-K/Kindergarten to 12th grade, and I am looking for music to put into this video.

I'd be very appreciative if you guys had any songs in mind that would fit such a genre, for instance, I have 'In my life' by the Beatles. Thanks!

Instead-- use songs from that period that were the top 40's.

Kindergarten-- use whatever song
1st grade, etc. on up to the now.

All it takes is googling that "year" top 40 songs and come up with bunches.

[view]