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backstabbing / drama / losing friends...
Each year, I am usually backstabbed my someone I trusted and was really close with. In 7th grade, my two best friends were after my bf who I was dating for more than 6 months. They made a plan to become friends to make me jealous, and steal my boyfriend and turn everyone against me. Last year was horrible. I moved on, and made new friends. In 8th grade, my good friend who helped me through last year ditches me all the time for my ex-boyfriend, treats me horrible, and talks crap about me for no reason. Well, I basically ended the friendship with her too and she had the nerve to give me back all the gifts Ive given her throughout our whole friendship, I know, extremely childish.. Well, I threw the bag of gifts away and gave it to people I'm trying my hardest to ignore her but it's just so hard since she's basically purposely in my face to make it hard for me. I dont talk to my ex boyfriend from this year because now they are best friends and he hates me. I still talk to my other ex and I'm really good friends with him(for now...) Ok, so now that you know everything, I just dont know how I can basically trust people or even make more friends (which I have already).. If I always end up getting hurt in the end. What should I do? I dont want to end up not having friends because the ones ive dealt with have backstabbed me in the end. But i dont know how I can stay optimitic if I keep getting hurt.
I'm so sorry for it being so long!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
it's hard to figure out who you can and can't trust. yesterday i found out that 3 of my best friends were talking about me behind my back, so i understand completely what you're going through. it's hard to find good friends these days. but never let your guard down when making new friends, or even talking to current/old ones. because when people see a vulnerability in you, they will think they have something to talk about. and that's when the backstabbing starts. just be polite, and find a nice group of friends to hang out with. there has to be some good people out there. just be confident in yourself, and optimistic. i hope all goes well!
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First, don't give trust automatically-- it has to be earned by people. Respect yes, but not trust.
People take advantage of trusting people too often.
Be polite and nice to everyone since they all know each other and be the bigger and better person.
Any friends you make from now on must earn your trust over time. Stop giving gifts as you can not buy friends or trust.
Be yourself but be on guard that at your age and your grade there are backstabbers-- it's immaturity and selfishness.
You apparently are more mature and a nice person. So be nice, be the more mature one of the bunch, be forgiving and let it go but learn the lesson not to trust everyone.
Let people earn your trust from here on out and learn to stand on your own.
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Wow, this is a tough one. Its especially hard because you do have to deal with them everyday. Well i will tell you, at my work place there is this girl that i could not stand and the best thing to do in a situation [by avoiding her] is to ignore her, or act up in front of her. Like i would be with someone and would be really loud and laughing like seeing her didnt bother me. Eventually it didnt bother me at all. You need to start taking things with a gran of salt. Dont let them see you fall. The best thing to say to yourself is not to let me get the best of you or they'll ride you all year. They are just trying to get a raise out of you. The only time i would ever show them my feelings is with my anger and if they stepped up to me. Other then that let them be. Who cares, anyways right? You said it yourself. You can make friends. The only thing i would warn you around is fully given in your complete trust into people. I am not saying not to trust people but do not say things to people that one day may hurt you in the end. When you know your boundary line with trust in people you can never truely get hurt from them. Knowing someone for a year and trusting them is pretty solid thing, but even that i would just let them fully in. Just be careful with what you say to these friends and another thing. Women are skantless. Be weary when you bring your bf around your friends because women are attracted to men who are attached. [its a sceintic fact] Because theres always a reason why a guy is single and attached men look good to a womans eyes because obiviously HE'S WORTH SOMETHING IF HE HAS A GF. Tell me if this works for you. I hope i helped alil bit.
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