I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR



i'm in a love triangle with two of my guyfriends. both of them like me, but i don't like either of them, and i told them i don't.

yet, people still tell me it seems like i'm leading them on.

using your psychic powers, can you please analyze the situation further? if you need more info, i'll gladly provide it.

thank you.


You don't need any psychic power to know that it's a loosing situation since you don't like either one of them- so why bother?

You are afraid of being alone- no boyfriend.

Don't worry- fly solo and the right guy will land soon.

Dump the two that is a waste of your time and energy.


Well, to start off, im a freshman in highschool. My friend has a brother who is a junior ( just turned 17)and he told her that he's "interested" in me. I only see him in lunch and sometimes in the hallways. He has told his sister and another one of my friends that he think im "hot" and that he wants to talk to me. I see him mostly everyday in lunch and whenever i look up i see him looking back at me. I think about him alot, even though i havnt acually talked to him. I'm not sure if i should get involved with him because of the age difference. I really need help!

Age difference shouldn't be much of a problem. Girls mature faster than guys, so you're probably close to emotion maturity...

If he thinks you're hot, then that's the open-invitation to act.

Give it a shot and talk to him. What do you have to loose, and what do you have to gain?

Go for it.


well i like this guy. he's not particularly good looking or anything, but something about his personality attracted me to him. the thing is, he's REALLY different. like really different. not different like has a mental issue or something, but just the way he thinks is unlike that of anyone i've ever met, or probably will meet in the future. he's very smart. he has a very high IQ. he doesn't study though, or do his homework, so people think he's dumb. like a mini einstein or something.

well, he told me (cause we are friends) that he likes this other girl & that he doesn't have a chance with her, etc. etc. all this stuff. so he hasn't really been talking about her recently or anything, but i know he still likes her, even a little.

he has the effect on people "can't live with me, can't live without me." when i talk to him, he makes me so frustrated because of the way he phrases things, and how he uses big words. but i still like talking to him. when i'm not talking to him, i wish i was talking to him. it's really complicated. i've seen us together in my dreams, but i still feel like we don't CONNECT.

he has a really big issue, which is that people judge him and don't treat him the way he wants to be treated. so i told him, because i care about him, that he should tell them to stop if it hurts him. he then shot down my idea like it was the stupidest thing in the world and gave all this bull about how he's for "the good of the people" and not selfish. so that really frazzled me. that's his only problem, and i don't know how to help him. i feel like if i helped him, he'd really like me... but there's no solution that's simple in his eyes to his problem.

one of my really good friends "stole" him from me. you see, it's like a square. my crush's best friend likes me, and i'm friends with his best friend. by the way, here are the genders:

myself - female
my really good friend - female
my crush - male
my crush's best friend - male

so, i think he likes her more. who does he like more? he's so much nicer to her, and i'm so hurt. i don't need advice persay, but i need a PSYCHIC to tell me what he's thinking.

i was just wondering, what does he think of me? does he strongly dislike me? does he like me? i have no idea what he thinks of me.. at all. i mean some people are easy readers and i know right away how they view me, i can do that with pretty much anyone, but man, this guy is... IMpossible to read. can you help me? & also, should i ever tell him i like him? his best friend likes me... what should i do?

thank you so much, askjr. i really appreciate it!

I'm sorry it took so long to answer. My daughter was killed in a car accident the 12th, just 3 days before you asked me this question.

You answered your own question-- quote: "i wish i was talking to him. it's really complicated. i've seen us together in my dreams, but i still feel like we don't CONNECT."

You don't connect. He is one of those too intelligent people and will not pair off with a girl any less IQ than he. Give it up-- you are normal, and he isn't.

He is liking you, liking her, and other girls, but the shoe(s) don't fit. He moves on, until he'll find the right pair.

Just remain friends, and let it work itself out.


man i have a best friend she has always been there for me she helped me when my girl friend died in a car reck and helped iv alway have loved her and now im looking for a new girl friend and i ccome 2 find that i relly love her she has always been there for me and she is very beutiful but she is my best friend and she says im like a brother 2 her

If she is your "best friend" as you stated, then tell her how you feel.

You can't hide your feelings and go on wondering and loving her from afar.

What is the worse that could happen? Her tell you she doesn't feel the same? Well, then you'd know, and move on, yet still remain friends.

Maybe she feels the same way, who knows?

She might feel you are like a brother to her, or she might have said that because you two are close. Or because she's masking her feelings. You will never know unless you talk to her about it.


This is kind of gross but im wondering.
Everytime I eat alot,or maybe even a regular amount I tend to poop alot ,like it doesn't all happen at once,it happens several times and it's just little by little.
And i've been having alot of gas,i drink alot of diet coke and I think I eat alot of things that cause gas but im not sure.
What could this mean?
Or does that mean I have a fast metabolism if its going out so quickly?
Help meplease,im lost :]

Metabolism has absolutely nothing to do with gas.

(Metabolism is thyroid and hormones.)

Gas is caused from ingesting something that you are either allergic to or sensitive to. Unless you have a stomach disorder.

If it is happening often, and if it is only "little by little" as you stated. Then it is constipation and gas accompanies all constipation.

Constipation is caused by types of food consumed, and by large amounts. Your body can not digest and process the amounts you are consuming, therefore, it backs up waiting for the process and is slowed and delayed.

The bowel breaks down the waste, causing gas.

Stop eating so much, stop eating junk foods, and stop drinking cokes.

Diet coke has a sugar-substitute, and that can cause stomach disorder.

Drink flavored waters, Crystal Lite, anything healthy other than sodas.

There are cerain foods that cause gas and cause constipation. Learn about them and steer clear. You might have a sensitive digestive tract.

You did say, "everytime I eat alot, or maybe even a regular amount..." tends to prove you over eat.


okay so this might be a bit long, but ill try to make it as short as possible. i met the most amazing boy ever back in june and we were kinda dating or w/e for a month or so and we hung out last friday. i was talking to him on the phone sunday and he said he meant to ask me out but he got nervous even though he knows what im going to say. im 16 and hes 18 but school-wise hes only a grade ahead of me. anyways, he got in a fight with his dad and his dad took his cellphone from him and turned it off and like basically banned him from the computer. i havent talked to him since monday and i havent gotten a text from him in 2 days. im not worried that he doesnt like me anymore or anything silly like that but i dont know how long this is going to last. i dont have any means of communication with him at all and its driving me completely looney. he means the world to me, im completely and totally in love with him. I just need idea's on how to stay strong through this. Hes the most amazing boy ever and i dont want to lose him. i dont want him to move back to cali with his mom and leave texas. that would absolutely kill me. i really need some guidance. thankyou so much!

You can write him a note, give it to his best friend who probably sees him.

And just because his dad took his cell phone, and he's banned from his computer, doesn't mean he's not out and seeing friends.

How did you even find out about the fight with his dad and cell phone and computer anyway?

A mutual friend told you? Then give the note to the friend to give him.

But, I'd still question what he's doing and where's he going-- just because he is grounded from the cell and computer doesn't mean he's locked away in his bedroom!


okay so this guy that used to like me said like just now that he doesnt like me anymore.. and he said cause he thinks im obsessed with him.. but like im not.. i was texting him a lot becasue i was on vacation and was bored.. and so now he thinks im obsessed with him.. and thats why he doesnt like me.. but i want to prove to him that im not obsessed and its just casue i was bored that one time.. so how can i do that?? and i really want him to like me again.

You can't unring a bell, girlie.

No matter how hard you try, you can't undo it, and can't convince him otherwise. It would take him actually talking to you, in order for you to explain you were bored texted him to pass the time.

Apparently though, if he doesn't like you any more over something so stupid as that-- then he was looking for an easy way out to break up. You gave it o him, as dumb as it is.

No playing hard to get, no seeing another guy to "get him jealous" and no amount of games-- will get him back.

Why would you want to? He used a minor texting as an excuse to break up! Did he participate and text you back? So he is just as "obssessive" as he said you were.

Geez! Forget the jerk-- he wanted to break up. Any guy that really likes you, would have been happy "chatting" by text!


ok here what it is, my ex-girlfriend wants to get back together with me, and i want to get back together with her, i still love her so much and she said the same thing, but after she went to VA she had some guys hitting on her, she said that me and her were back together and now shes not sure, i don't know what to do, i love her so much and i don't want to lose her.

I don't know your ages, but age factor has alot to do with it. Younger kids and teenagers are prone to "self-satisfaction" as a children are. It's impulsive to react to whatever, and that's normal. A guy/girl hits on you, you're flattered, maybe attracted to them too, and react impulsively without thinking of previous comittments. (i.e. you)

If older than a teenager, then she should have honored her "comittment" to you and blew the dudes off.

But how did you find out about other guys "hitting" on her? She told you? if so, then she was being totally open and honest with you, up front. You have to consider that.

You were apart from one another, and the random dating and flirting, well, things like that happen alot of times when apart from each other.

If you love her, let it slide off your back, put it in the past, continue from today and go on with your relationship with her.

If she is unsure of the two of you, then she's not ready to settle down into a committment.

Either wait for her to be, knowing she is seeing other guys (probably) and be patient with your fingers crossed, or, date too, and if it was meant to be, it will-- if not, then it won't no matter how hard you try.

You can't force it. (it would only bee temporary, and doomed for failure.)


I'm 22 years old. When I was 19, I got married and my husband and I decided to have a baby. Well, I had a miscarriage. I was devestated, but I decided to try again. Well my husband and I split up for various reasons, and I was engaged to another guy. Well, I got pregnant again, and later had another miscarriage. I started to feel extremely scared, so I went to my doctor and asked him what was wrong. He told me that it was just a flaw and that I could conceive a baby. So I tried again. About 5 months ago I became pregnant with twins. Well, I just lost one of the twins, and I'm ready to sue the doctor. I guess what I'm asking is, can I sue him, and will I ever be able to conceive my own child? And what should I do about this baby?

There was no malpractice on the doctor's part-- because he based his evaluation on what medical info you gave/told him.

The situation is: you were (are) free to choose your doctor, get a second opinion, and it's your responsibility to find out about your own health issues, i.e. miscarriages.

No one twisted your arm to accept that one doctor's evaluation as gold-- you should have gotten a second opinion from a specialist, and found a doctor that was willing to run tests to get the answer of "why" you're miscarring.

Personally, the first thing that should have been done, is a simple blood test, testing for thyroid problems. That's the number one leading reason of miscarriages and most doctors do not check thyroid issues to rule that out first. A good specialist would (will).

Get yours checked, if you have thyroid problems, a daily thyroid pill will resolve it, however, it can take months to adjust the strength and dosage to get it to work correctly for you. So becoming pregnanat is not an option until another blood test proves it's okay.

You can carry a child to term once the thyroid is balanced correctly- IF that is the root problem.

A good ob/gyn will test that and other possible problems causing the miscarriages.


okay so my name is kristin and i have not made out or kissed anyone yet and i am planing to go to the movies with this guy and he wants to make out and i want to too. i told him that i have made out b4 too. how do you make out? and also is it okay to make out with my retainer in because if i take it out i have a missing tooth HELP!!!

The retainer isn't a factor.

If you've never kissed before, you'll be nervous.

Kiss softly, gently, with loose lips (not tightened)...

I wouldn't recommend trying anything fancy like french kissing until you get used to kissing, and the feelings become comfortable.

Once the "first" kiss is over, the second and third, etc. is easier.

Don't get into the "feeling" each other's body yet. Save the exploration for another day.


i wana redo my hair. my mom and i fight alot and she hates everything i do. at the moment i have solid color slight goldish brown long hair. my eyes change with my mood usually green grey or blue. i usually wear black and greys. i want coon tails but i doubt i can get them. or lighten my hair outside and darken on the inside or the other way around. i want black or red or burgondy or purple or browns. and i wanted torquoise but she said never and it got real loud after but she also said no to most things. i go to a catholic uniform school so it has to be closer to natural but it can be dark burgondy also or reds. im a trouble maker with my friends and i my mom also doesnt like my friends. everybody at my school knows im weird. i express myself haha. i am only myself nobody else. i wana new haircut and i might dye it so can anyone find me some pictures of stuff that would be good for me. i want it kinda different but i can find anything normal enough for my mom and school. please help me with cuts and dyes for pics pweese.

No one can find pictures of hair cuts/styles for someone without knowing what they look like, i.e. shape of face, etc.

Google "hair styles" online, and you'll find loads of websites with pics.


my friends are always saying things i dont know. if someone would explain some thins to me i would appreciate it.

1.how can a girl GET oral sex.
2. HOW do you GIVE a hand job
3. how do you GIVE oral sex.

First, if you don't know, then you are way too young.

Oral sex is oral sex, whether girl or boy. Oral is "mouth" and is used by the girl on the guy, and the guy on the girl. It's the politically correct way of saying "head" and "eating out."

Secondly, hand jobs are masturbation on a guy-- up and down mimicking intercourse.

Third, oral sex is mentioned as above.

But honey-- forget it and you're too darn young to be messing with ANY sex.


In the movie 'A Cinderella Story', when Hilary goes to the Fall Ball and she enters, a song plays called, ' Best Day of My Life'. Everywhere i've looked had a version of this song by Jesse Mccartney, even the soundtrack; but he isn't the one singing in the movie. Does anyone know who is singing the song in the movie, and where I can find a place to download the song? Thanks!

Robert Palmer sang the song. He's the singer that sang (1980-1995 or therebouts) "Addicted To Love" and "Simply Irresitible" and "Bad Case of Loving You" and "Some Like It Hot" and died in 2003 in Paris...

His website: http://www.robertpalmer.com/

And another about him:


The "A Cinderella Story" soundtrack has the original song that he sang in the movie, but lyrics written by Jesse McCartney.

You probably won't find a download for it, unless you buy the entire soundtrack album.


there's a meal that you make from noodles (my ex-friend used spagetti noodles) and SOY SAUCE was the main ingredient i think... and its sposed to have stir fried vegetables in it..we didn't have any though. and i was wondering if anyone knew what it was and/or how to make it so that i can make it tonight. her and I arn't friends or on speaking terms at this point so i can't ask her... can anyone help plz?

It could be Lo Mein or anything. They're much the same, depending on the veggies. (Mu Go Guy Pan, etc.)

The main ingredients are easy and at teh grocery store available in the Ethnic section.

(You can buy Lo Mein noodles at the grocery store in the Ethnic isle for Chinese foods.)

The freezer section has pre-packaged, frozen Chinese veggies that you stir-fry (called Stir-Fry Chinese veggies)...

Of course, get Soy Sauce too (preferrably the salt-free kind).....

To make: If you don't have a Wok, pan-fry in peanut oil or virgin olive oil, the fozen veggies (there are a lot of choices of those veggie packages, i.e. chicken and veggies, beef and veggies, etc.) and do not over cook. It's basically a "saute" of the veggies.

Boil the Lo Mein noodles lightly (or spaghetti pasta, which Angel Hair pasta would be best of the two pastas) and when done, rinse in cold water, strain, put in bowl or spoon the helping on plate(s) and top with stir-fried veggies, adding Soy Sauce as desired, last.


i get really mad at my mom sometimes. like today, my friend came over since she had to borrow a cup of baking soda since they were baking cookies. they're more of family friends, so we visit each other alot. she invited me to come over there too, and i got all ready and stuff. i cleaned my room, took a shower, and i've been doing lots of things like helping with my baby brother, and stuff like that. and then i asked my mom if i could go to their house after doing all that and she said NO! im freaking 13 years old in a nice suburban neighborhood where nothing bad like ever happens. its daytime and people are outside like mowing their lawns, walking with dogs, riding their bikes, normal stuff like that. and my mom still says NO! alot of times when i wanna go over she says no and i ask why and she never tells me why! shes sleeping right now since she works at night. before she asked like what if something bad happened to me.. what the heck? ive been allowed to go all around my neighborhood since i was like 8 years old, but it feels like now that im 13, she has to be more protective over me? what the heck? i tried everything and she was really mad at me when i kept asking her to go. i hate this she never explains why! also for sleepovers its the same. she thinks "something will happen to me". i mean im not retarded, something could, but i dont want to waste my whole childhood without going to one of my friend's sleepovers (she doesnt want one at our house either, cause she doesnt want responsibility over other peoples kids.. i mean its not like we're gonna go burn the house down!) but shes like "no, cuz its her african custom". my dad says the same too. its soo retarded. i mean we can only sleep over at family's houses so thats not really like a sleepover im thinking of. anyway, on the subject how can i get her to trust me more? im a smart girl and my friend lives near, in my neighborhood, like 3 minutes away from my house by foot, about. and i really wanted to help them make the cookies.. geeeez. lots of kids my age visit their friends all the time but my mom just wants to confine us in our house alot!! i hate that. i barely ever get to visit my friends or go out with them to places like the movies, bowling, the mall, etc. UGHHH i cant even go on vacations on them, or to theme parks with them and their family! i mean family is good too but im just really really pissed right now cause im freaking bored.

You mentioned it was her "African custom" and I'm not familiar with the custom or why, but....

....You need a sit-down with both your mom and dad and have a serious discussion.

Tell them you need to speak to them both (that'll get their attention!)...

...Explain to them that you are a good girl, good daughter, (hopefully with good grades, etc.) and 13 now, not 7.

...Explain that you've taken on more responsibilities at home with chores and siblings, therefore, you want more rewards and freedoms...

...Explain that you have a couple of close friends (hopefully they know them well enough) and would appreciate and enjoy spending the night at her house and visa-versus, occassionally. Tell them they are more than welcomed to call her parents and talk to them, ensuring it is legitimate and have their permission, and that her parents will be home the entire time to supervise you. And that while you and your friend want to bake cookies, there are teens out there in the world that are running around without supervision doing drugs, etc. and all you want is to bake cookies, watch a movie, play video games, etc. with your friend while her mom is home supervising you both!

...Offer a "check-in" time to either call home periodically, or have your friend's mom to call your mom to update her that you are there and she is still supervising you.

...Ask them what they want and expect for you to be able to do this, that makes them feel secure with it. Then arrange that.

Take baby steps first, accepting what little they allow, prove yourself and giving them time to realize it's okay, then later, ask for another "deal" since you've proved your trustworthiness to them.

(Also tell your friend's mom about how your parents feel and their conditions to the sleep-over so she can abide by the rules for you.)

In negotiating the new deal with your parents, be sure to make them understand that you don't expect this to be given freely, but you want to earn the priveledge(s). Passify them, humble yourself, and above all-- don't whine, threatened, stomp around demanding and DO NOT compare yourself with everyone else and them with everyone elses' parents. That'll piss them off.

Remain calm and humble, but reasonable with your negotiations.


i have 2 questions about the same thing...

1)whats the meaning of the song Cornflake girl by Tori Amos?
2)is Tori Amos bad??
thank is advance!!

As for the lyrics of "Cornflake Girl"

READ lyris at:


Song facts about "Cornflake Girl" meaning is at:


It says:


This is based on a book by Alice Walker called Possessing The Secret Of Joy, which details how mothers in some cultures sell their daughters to men who remover their genitals. Tori says it is about "Betrayal between women." The cereal bowl is used as a metaphor for divisions among women. The "Cornflake Girls" are close-minded while the "Raisin Girls" are open to new ideas. Before she became famous, Tori appeared in a commercial for Kellogg's "Just Right" cereal, beating out Sarah Jessica Parker, who was also unknown at the time, for the part. Tori played piano in the ad. Kellogg's also makes Cornflakes. Tori's record company released a series of Cornflakes boxes with her picture on them to promote this. They are now collector's items. (thanks, Maria - Toronto, Canada)

As far as is Tori Amos being bad or good, she's just a singer.

Read about her here:

It says:

In 1984, she was in a television commercial for Kellogg's "Just Right" Cereal. To get her face on the box, Amos beat out a few other actresses, one of them being the equally-unknown Sarah Jessica Parker. (thanks, Iscariot - Tempe, AZ)
She started playing the piano at 2 years of age. At age 5, she won a scholarship to the Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, Maryland, becoming the youngest person ever admitted.
At 17, she changed her name to Tori Amos. Her name given at birth was Myra Ellen Amos.
Her favorite pianos are Bosendorfers.
In 1988 she formed a band called "Y Kant Tori Read" (with Guns'n'Roses drummer Matt Sorum, among others) and they released their self-titled album. It did not do very well. (thanks, Aimee - Auckland, New Zealand, for all above)
When she was 16, she played in a piano bar in Washington, DC, where she learned to play just about any song that was requested.


okay, so i am on this diet/excercise journey to try to get into better shape but so far i haven't been able to find any excercises that target the area on my back where my shoulder blades are. i find it disgusting cuz its bulges...but are there any specific things i can do to minimize that fattiness in that area?

There's none better than good old-fashioned push-ups. So hit the floor and do 5 reps of 10, then work your way up to more, increasing to counting 25-50.

It targets the arms and back muscles: latissimus dorsi or "lats"

For exercises and learning-
Read: http://www.dcdoctor.com/pages/rightpages_wellnesscenter/fitnessandexerciseprograms/resistancetraining/resistrain_back.html


I need to know how much my guitar is worth but i could not find anything if you know about it please help!
My guitar is an:

Original Gagliano Electric Guitar

features: inline pearl strings
pearl tuning knobs
Wammy bar built in

Condition: Surface scratch but fixable, guitar works perfectly.

One just sold on eBay for $250. But every guitar is different, i.e. features, age, scratches and condtion.

Try Googling it and read:



The Guitar Magazine (it's online, too)


3 years ago my best best best friend moved legit half way across the country. We still managed to saty the best of friends and got to visit eachother a couple times. then a year later she moved back a couple staes away and i was so happy! we got to see eachother all the time because it was only a few hours away. We called eachother everyday and always had stuff to talk about no matter what. We were the ideal best friends. We have never been in a fight we tell eachother EVERYTHING and were always there no matter what. Well lately we havent been talking much. yes its summer and were both busy and we keep missing eacothers calls and now we hardly even talk. And when i do call her there isnt much to talk about. Its seems weird or something. Im so afaid that were growning apart. I dont know what i would do witout her. I dont want to loose her she means more to me than my family. What should i do?

To "rekindle" your friendship-- first buy a card and mail it to her. You know, one of those "I'm missing you" type cards.

Make a committment to yourself (a promise) to see her on a scheduled, regular basis no matter what. In other words, make the time. Put your other friends and boyfriend, on the back burner that weekend.

Spend the entire weekend at her house, and next time, she can spend the weekend at yours.

Continue to send cards periodically. You can get into a crazy contest to see who sends the funniest card to each other, constantly trying to out do the other. It's fun and satisfying.

Send her a little gift that means something to you both. A little treasure that has significant meaning to you. Maybe a friendship braclet, etc. Or anything that reminds you both of something you once enjoyed or shared together.

If you both have cell phones- text message each other throughout the day, or night, and chat online on a messenger.

Make a point to keep the friendship alive and nurture it as you would any valuable family member.

Use your imagination. Make mental notes to yourself to talk about a movie you saw, or a tv show episode, a music band and song, anything that you both have in common.


my hair basically consists of thick, medium-long curls. i don't normally wear it down because in some places it's, well, poofy. my friend tells me all the time that my "shiny, thick hair would be so gorgeous if i found a way to control the poof." (almost her words exactly)...so i've tried hairsprays, gels, and different shampoos and conditioners, but none seem to help. what can i do?

It's not so much the "products" you use, because there isn't one than eliminates "poofiness."

What you need is a new cut. Ask the stylist to
razor -cut your hair, thinning it out into layers.

Layering hair always thins and eliminates the excess poofiness of overly thick hair. (Thus, thin, fragile hair should never be layered or razor-cut.)

Look through hair style magazines and pay close attention to layered hair. Some magazines explain the cut, i.e. razored, layered, blunt-cut, etc.

Take that picture to your stylist and talk to her/him about it as a solution.


<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker