about

I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR









advice

hey

i'm in a love triangle with two of my guyfriends. both of them like me, but i don't like either of them, and i told them i don't.

yet, people still tell me it seems like i'm leading them on.

using your psychic powers, can you please analyze the situation further? if you need more info, i'll gladly provide it.

thank you.

14.f

You don't need any psychic power to know that it's a loosing situation since you don't like either one of them- so why bother?

You are afraid of being alone- no boyfriend.

Don't worry- fly solo and the right guy will land soon.

Dump the two that is a waste of your time and energy.

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Well, to start off, im a freshman in highschool. My friend has a brother who is a junior ( just turned 17)and he told her that he's "interested" in me. I only see him in lunch and sometimes in the hallways. He has told his sister and another one of my friends that he think im "hot" and that he wants to talk to me. I see him mostly everyday in lunch and whenever i look up i see him looking back at me. I think about him alot, even though i havnt acually talked to him. I'm not sure if i should get involved with him because of the age difference. I really need help!

Age difference shouldn't be much of a problem. Girls mature faster than guys, so you're probably close to emotion maturity...

If he thinks you're hot, then that's the open-invitation to act.

Give it a shot and talk to him. What do you have to loose, and what do you have to gain?

Go for it.

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well i like this guy. he's not particularly good looking or anything, but something about his personality attracted me to him. the thing is, he's REALLY different. like really different. not different like has a mental issue or something, but just the way he thinks is unlike that of anyone i've ever met, or probably will meet in the future. he's very smart. he has a very high IQ. he doesn't study though, or do his homework, so people think he's dumb. like a mini einstein or something.

well, he told me (cause we are friends) that he likes this other girl & that he doesn't have a chance with her, etc. etc. all this stuff. so he hasn't really been talking about her recently or anything, but i know he still likes her, even a little.

he has the effect on people "can't live with me, can't live without me." when i talk to him, he makes me so frustrated because of the way he phrases things, and how he uses big words. but i still like talking to him. when i'm not talking to him, i wish i was talking to him. it's really complicated. i've seen us together in my dreams, but i still feel like we don't CONNECT.

he has a really big issue, which is that people judge him and don't treat him the way he wants to be treated. so i told him, because i care about him, that he should tell them to stop if it hurts him. he then shot down my idea like it was the stupidest thing in the world and gave all this bull about how he's for "the good of the people" and not selfish. so that really frazzled me. that's his only problem, and i don't know how to help him. i feel like if i helped him, he'd really like me... but there's no solution that's simple in his eyes to his problem.

one of my really good friends "stole" him from me. you see, it's like a square. my crush's best friend likes me, and i'm friends with his best friend. by the way, here are the genders:

myself - female
my really good friend - female
my crush - male
my crush's best friend - male

so, i think he likes her more. who does he like more? he's so much nicer to her, and i'm so hurt. i don't need advice persay, but i need a PSYCHIC to tell me what he's thinking.

i was just wondering, what does he think of me? does he strongly dislike me? does he like me? i have no idea what he thinks of me.. at all. i mean some people are easy readers and i know right away how they view me, i can do that with pretty much anyone, but man, this guy is... IMpossible to read. can you help me? & also, should i ever tell him i like him? his best friend likes me... what should i do?

thank you so much, askjr. i really appreciate it!

I'm sorry it took so long to answer. My daughter was killed in a car accident the 12th, just 3 days before you asked me this question.

You answered your own question-- quote: "i wish i was talking to him. it's really complicated. i've seen us together in my dreams, but i still feel like we don't CONNECT."

You don't connect. He is one of those too intelligent people and will not pair off with a girl any less IQ than he. Give it up-- you are normal, and he isn't.

He is liking you, liking her, and other girls, but the shoe(s) don't fit. He moves on, until he'll find the right pair.

Just remain friends, and let it work itself out.

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man i have a best friend she has always been there for me she helped me when my girl friend died in a car reck and helped iv alway have loved her and now im looking for a new girl friend and i ccome 2 find that i relly love her she has always been there for me and she is very beutiful but she is my best friend and she says im like a brother 2 her

If she is your "best friend" as you stated, then tell her how you feel.

You can't hide your feelings and go on wondering and loving her from afar.

What is the worse that could happen? Her tell you she doesn't feel the same? Well, then you'd know, and move on, yet still remain friends.

Maybe she feels the same way, who knows?

She might feel you are like a brother to her, or she might have said that because you two are close. Or because she's masking her feelings. You will never know unless you talk to her about it.

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okay so this might be a bit long, but ill try to make it as short as possible. i met the most amazing boy ever back in june and we were kinda dating or w/e for a month or so and we hung out last friday. i was talking to him on the phone sunday and he said he meant to ask me out but he got nervous even though he knows what im going to say. im 16 and hes 18 but school-wise hes only a grade ahead of me. anyways, he got in a fight with his dad and his dad took his cellphone from him and turned it off and like basically banned him from the computer. i havent talked to him since monday and i havent gotten a text from him in 2 days. im not worried that he doesnt like me anymore or anything silly like that but i dont know how long this is going to last. i dont have any means of communication with him at all and its driving me completely looney. he means the world to me, im completely and totally in love with him. I just need idea's on how to stay strong through this. Hes the most amazing boy ever and i dont want to lose him. i dont want him to move back to cali with his mom and leave texas. that would absolutely kill me. i really need some guidance. thankyou so much!

You can write him a note, give it to his best friend who probably sees him.

And just because his dad took his cell phone, and he's banned from his computer, doesn't mean he's not out and seeing friends.

How did you even find out about the fight with his dad and cell phone and computer anyway?

A mutual friend told you? Then give the note to the friend to give him.

But, I'd still question what he's doing and where's he going-- just because he is grounded from the cell and computer doesn't mean he's locked away in his bedroom!

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okay so this guy that used to like me said like just now that he doesnt like me anymore.. and he said cause he thinks im obsessed with him.. but like im not.. i was texting him a lot becasue i was on vacation and was bored.. and so now he thinks im obsessed with him.. and thats why he doesnt like me.. but i want to prove to him that im not obsessed and its just casue i was bored that one time.. so how can i do that?? and i really want him to like me again.

You can't unring a bell, girlie.

No matter how hard you try, you can't undo it, and can't convince him otherwise. It would take him actually talking to you, in order for you to explain you were bored texted him to pass the time.

Apparently though, if he doesn't like you any more over something so stupid as that-- then he was looking for an easy way out to break up. You gave it o him, as dumb as it is.

No playing hard to get, no seeing another guy to "get him jealous" and no amount of games-- will get him back.

Why would you want to? He used a minor texting as an excuse to break up! Did he participate and text you back? So he is just as "obssessive" as he said you were.

Geez! Forget the jerk-- he wanted to break up. Any guy that really likes you, would have been happy "chatting" by text!

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ok here what it is, my ex-girlfriend wants to get back together with me, and i want to get back together with her, i still love her so much and she said the same thing, but after she went to VA she had some guys hitting on her, she said that me and her were back together and now shes not sure, i don't know what to do, i love her so much and i don't want to lose her.

I don't know your ages, but age factor has alot to do with it. Younger kids and teenagers are prone to "self-satisfaction" as a children are. It's impulsive to react to whatever, and that's normal. A guy/girl hits on you, you're flattered, maybe attracted to them too, and react impulsively without thinking of previous comittments. (i.e. you)



If older than a teenager, then she should have honored her "comittment" to you and blew the dudes off.


But how did you find out about other guys "hitting" on her? She told you? if so, then she was being totally open and honest with you, up front. You have to consider that.


You were apart from one another, and the random dating and flirting, well, things like that happen alot of times when apart from each other.


If you love her, let it slide off your back, put it in the past, continue from today and go on with your relationship with her.


If she is unsure of the two of you, then she's not ready to settle down into a committment.


Either wait for her to be, knowing she is seeing other guys (probably) and be patient with your fingers crossed, or, date too, and if it was meant to be, it will-- if not, then it won't no matter how hard you try.


You can't force it. (it would only bee temporary, and doomed for failure.)

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okay so my name is kristin and i have not made out or kissed anyone yet and i am planing to go to the movies with this guy and he wants to make out and i want to too. i told him that i have made out b4 too. how do you make out? and also is it okay to make out with my retainer in because if i take it out i have a missing tooth HELP!!!

The retainer isn't a factor.

If you've never kissed before, you'll be nervous.

Kiss softly, gently, with loose lips (not tightened)...

I wouldn't recommend trying anything fancy like french kissing until you get used to kissing, and the feelings become comfortable.

Once the "first" kiss is over, the second and third, etc. is easier.

Don't get into the "feeling" each other's body yet. Save the exploration for another day.

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okay so i have a big problem. i was dating a guy who was 22/m and im 16/f. and i noticed on myspace some girls started commenting him. and he would comment their pics telling them that they're beautiful. and he commented my pics saying the exact same thing. i thought that was kinda weird and i told him that i didn't like ho he was telling other girls that. and i have a feeling he's with another girl. and i broke up with him. this happened 3 times but this time when i broke up with him he said that he didn't want to talk to me ever again and i was hurt. and i wanted to know that was it right that i broke up with him because he seemed like a player or was i just over reacting and got a little bit jealous?

First, the age difference is an issue. You're still a teen and he's a man, not a teen.

Maybe if you were 21 and he was 27, it'd be alright.

This is one issue of him telling you he didn't want to talk to you again. He is a player. A 22 year old player. He has "women" he's checking out, and knows you are a teenage, thus more immature, and also "jealous."

Get over him. Let it go. Don't waste your time visiting his profile and feel the hurt again.

Out of signt, out of mind.

There's too many good guys your own age out there that ARE NOT players.

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15/f/going in my junior year of highschool.
When I was in 7th grade, so I was about 11, I fell in love. His name was Michael. Michael was 12 going on 13 and he was wild. His lived with him mom but she hated him. He was on his own. I have always been sheltered and I felt like he was my only way to be .. free. He developed feelings for me also and he asked me out. We dated for about 9 months on and off. It ended short after he got drunk and some party and had sex with a girl he had just met. He was my first love. And I forgive him totally for what he did. I talk to him very rarely now. But when I do see him, I feel like we are back in 7th grade. That was 5 years ago. A lot has changed now. He wants to go into the army, he lives in an appartment with his friend's boyfriend, and he works as a "bouncer" for a club/concert hall. My problem: I feel like he could have my back in a heartbeat. I'm still very sheltered and I still feel the way I did about him then. his amount of freedom is something that I don't think I will ever have. I know you never forget your first love, but this is getting rediculous. I've had 3 serious boyfriends since him, but he's always in the back of my mind. I guess I'm looking for a way to get over him. We talked a few months ago (when I was single) about maybe getting together again. But that idea didn't last long because then he never returned my calls. I just feel a drive to call him sometimes. Please help me get him out of my head. I've have 3 serious boyfriends since him, including the boyfriend I'm with now.

Everyone has gone through this, and never forgets their first love.

But the only way to get over it is to NOT ever see or talk to him again. The old adage: "Out of sight, out of mind" is true.

You can't go back and pick up where you left off. The 7th grade was just that- it WAS. That's not NOW.

As time passes, the feelings will pass. Avoid contact with him and it'll speed the timing of the process up for you.

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I just got out of a 2 year relationship where i was cheated on the whole entire time, so i really do not trust anyone and feel like i can ever be in love again or be in a relationship. It's been 2 months after we have broken up and i am sleeping with two different guys that i like. Sometimes it doesnt bother me because I assume the worst and that their doing the same thing, but sometimes I feel bad because they really like me and both want to be in a relationship with me, but im the worst person to be in a relationship right now, because my ex has turned me into a horrible person. I could have never seen me doing this to someone before, but it's like i dont give a shit anymore. I feel like theres no point being in a relationship because you can like more than one person. The relationship may seem perfect at first and thats all you wanna do is be around that person, but everything gets old after a while and people change. Nothing lasts forever. And that is the reason why I dont believe in love, because you can always find someone else that tempts you and makes you curious about them and then you become unfaithful. Everyone cheats and everyone lies. So right now I feel like im playing a game and part of me feels bad about doing that to those 2 guys, but the other part of me thinks...hey...im single and were not together so it doesnt matter if im sleeping with someone else. I want to know other people's opinions on this....has anyone else been in the same situation? If so...what do u think is the best thing I should do? Because I never was a trashy whore and Im still not. I just really like both these guys and I cant choose between them, and Im not even sure I want to be committed....

It took me 5 years to get over my ex. Everyone has their own time period to heal.

The only bad thing I see is neither guy knows you are seeing the other. That could be bad. You could hurt them once they learn about your toggling between them.

You should be honest with anyone you are seeing. Tell them right away (if evolving into a "relationship") that you do not want to be in a comitted relationship right now because you recently got out of one and hurt badly and have trust issues.

If the guy(s) likes you enough, he'll understand and stay in the relationship with you on your terms, being patient, or not. He might only want a committed relationship-- but trust, most men don't. They want more of a casual, non-committal relationship freeing them to date other women too.

You will eventually heal from the past relationship and trust again. Mr. Right will come along and you will trust him because you will fall in love with him and WANT to trust again.

You just need your time to get there, so have fun on the journey.

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my friend S was taking pictures of my crush, S today and i think he knows that we were taking pics of him cause he kept looking at us! i feel really really retarded right now... does he hate me? what should i do? my friend likes him but i know i like him more. and i always thought he liked me. i am so scared he hates me now...

btw - this is me: & yes, same guy:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=494317

love,
superrconfusedd.

Sorry it took me so long to answer (was on vacation)...


He doesn't hate you-- he likes you too.

He simply caught you taking his picture and now knows you like him. He's alittle shy, but very flattered and waiting on you to make the move that YOU started...

So find a way to hang around him, talk to him, and then the ball will be in his court and his next move!

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NOTE: This is WAY longer than I expected, but I wanted to give you the whole story so you can have a good idea of my situation.

My name is Lyndsey, I'm 17/f, and I live in South Carolina. Up until about three weeks ago (a little less) I hadn't had my first boyfriend, kiss, anything. On Mother's Day this guy I didn't know (but was my age and lived close to me) sent me a message on MySpace. I usually don't answer messages from people I don't know, but for some reason I did. We ended up talking some and I gave him my phone number. We talked on the phone for a couple of days and he asked me out.

The day before the date we met in public (to make sure it was all good) and then the next day we saw a movie and had dinner. We also met each other's parents on that night. We had a great time, he gave me my first kiss, and it was all good from then on out. He told he things he'd never told any of his friend, like that he was a virgin.

I learned a lot about him over the phone and he seemed REALLY into me. We were laying together on his family's boat and his sister said "You never did that stuff with Amanda" (his ex) so I felt pretty awesome. haha. His parents like me and I spent a lot of time at his house for those two weeks. It went further than kissing. We made out, grinded, hand job, blow job, etc. These are all things I NEVER said I'd do with a guy that soon, but it just felt right and I did what I was comfortable with. But he knows and accepted that I wasn't going to have sex with him until I was ready.

On Friday we were laying on his bed together and he told me he LOVED me. Now, I'm not naive enough to think that it really is love. I mean, I love him, but I don't think I can be IN love with him, or vise versa, so soon. As my dad said, he's "in lust" with me. But I did think he really cared about me either way. Well on Sunday he left for California for 2 months to work with his dad. When his mom asked if we had a "no dating other people" policy, he said yes...but that's pretty much all we talked about while he was going to be gone. On the day before he left, he had a party at his house. It was his parents, my parents, one of his guy friends, and a bunch of friends of his parents. Me, him, and his friend pretty much stayed inside alone and he acted different than usual. I got over it because I know how guys are around their friends and he did move closer to me on the couch while we were watching TV and put his arm around me like he always does.

Then as I left the party, we were outside and he gave me this awkward friendship hug even though I wasn't going to see him for 2 months. I was pretty upset about it, but he told me he didn't want to give my dad the wrong idea. I don't know if that was the whole truth, but I moved on.

I haven't spoken to him on the phone since he left. I can't call him because I don't have a number to call and he hasn't called me. I figured he was busy with work and meeting up with old friends, so I tried not to pity myself too much. I've sent him two messages on MySpace and when he responds he seems pretty normal and ends it with "I miss you! Luv ya". I told him if he wasn't busy this weekend that he could call me, but only if he wanted to. He hasn't been online since then, so he hasn't read/responded to the message yet.

I know this could be a question you can't answer, but I'm feeling really insecure. I don't know if he intended to call me the entire time he was there or if he wanted to focus on work. I don't want to ask and sound needy, so I don't know what to do. I just need some type of feedback from him so I know he still likes me as much as he used to, because I know I do.

I know 2 months is a long time (and only 2 weeks of dating doesn't sound strong enough), but I really want us to pick up where we left off once he gets back. I really like him a lot and can't stop thinking about him (yes, I'm becoming like those girls I always ridiculed), but I really want to know how he feels without sounding like I expect him to call me 5 times a day while he's there. I don't, but I just want to know if he's still into me. I will definitely wait for him to get back, but I don't want to wait if he has no intention of continuing our relationship.

Again, I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for your time.

Dilemma if there ever was one.

I understand how you feel.

Why don't you do a few things.

Visit his parents and keep in touch with them.

Leave non-chalant messages on MySpace inquiring how things are going, ask if he's having any fun, beaches, etc. and tell him about your life and friends, and carry on a "conversation" as you would face to face.

Keep the contact. Keep the conversation going with interest in his life in California and about the things you talked about before he left and friends you have in common.

All you can do at this point is keep contact as casusal as you can so when he returns, the ball is in his court.

Good luck.

P.S. Additonal Answer:

I would wait for the weekend for his call while he isn't working. Then if he doesn't call you, message him on MySpace and ask if he had a nice weekend and that you thought he might have called you being off. Ease into it with inuendos.

Then, if necessary, call him and have an open and honest converstation withour sounding possessive and needy-- but having the right to know since it was a "no-date" relationship while he is in California and all.

OR-- you could let it all go and continue messaging him as I said earlier and see how he responds and acts.

A good motto: Give a man enough rope and eventually he will hang himself. Another: Actions speaks louder than words.

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so this guy, he is in one of my classes and he always looks at me. we make a good couple and i think he might like me. what do you think? if you need more info, edit your answer for the last question i asked you (the "are you a psychic?" one) so i can give it to you :]

He likes you. He feels you are above his "class" and is afraid to talk to you and start something because he thinks he is "beneath" you and you'd shun him and he doesn't want to be "rejected."

Talk to him. Drop a book when going into class or leaving right by him so he can pick it up for you. That's a converstation breaker.

Ask him what the teacher said about something, that you didn't hear it all-- or about an assignment or homework.

Break the silence, start the ball rolling. He wants you to give him a signal. He's also shy & quiet too.

P.S. No, he doesn't like another girl-- he's unattached and hasn't had a girlfriend in awhile.

Eye contact and deep sensual, sexy stares are good signals. Let him "catch" you looking and then smile softly. Sooner or later-- one of you has to speak up and start the ball rolling. Let your heart rule your actions for now. He's open and waiting on your cue(s) yet he is shy. He's afraid he'll make a fool of himself. Set him to ease by breaking the ice, but don't expect a relationship to launch fast-- he's shy and will move slowly. You move slow too, not to scare him off.

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I am not dumb i made excellent grades in school even in math up until ap calculuc but i am scared to run the cash register at my new job i feel like i am going to make a stupid mistake on the cash register even tough i have before and i don't know why i can't function under pressure i count find in my head when i am not required to but when others are around me and numbers dont mix does anyone have any advice for me

You will make mistakes-- it's inevitiable, even pro cashiers do occassionally and it's expected that mistakes will happen.

Chill out, be calm, and accept you will make mistakes, but do your best.

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hey. i'm 13/f and i think he is 14 and obviously male. we like a lot of the same things and i really like him, although i only met him last week and we only spent 3 hours together, we seemed to have a lot in common. the thing is i don't know if he'd date me since we live in different towns and he's a year older. according to my friends he was flirting with me a lot, but i saw an equal amount between all three of us. how can i try to flirt with him a little more and make him like me a little more without seeming way desperate?

Next time, if friends are around and you want his attention more, just sit closer to him and talk more one on one about the things you have in common.

As you do, give him the flirtacious looks but don't over do them. Stare into his eyes when talking to him, maybe when laughing, touch his shoulder or leg...

He'll get the hint and possibly do the same in return!

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Okay. Theres this guy that i know. Were friends. he's 20, i'm 15.
About a month ago, I was on my period (I get really boy crazy on my period) and I had this dream where he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and when I woke up, my heart was all pounding and I was all lovey dovey. I guess I kind of liked him a little before that but I never really admitted it to myself, until then, where it all came out.
A couple weeks ago, my friends mom (who notices everything) told me that she thinks he likes me. She didn't really give me a good reason why, so i'm not saying its true, but the possibility really fired me up. So now i'm all crazy inside and thinking about him all the time.

Well I know he's wayy too old for me and even if he wasn't, i dont think im ready to date yet.
How can I get over it? Or just a way to realese all this crush-energy inside me [=

You said it all-- "crush."

At 15, you can get a crush on an older guy easily.

It's part of growing and maturing-- but he is too old. And, it would be construed as illegal for him to "like" you and cause him legal problems.

The two ways to "get over it" is to persue guys your own age and not see this 20 year old again-- avoid him-- friendship over, done, finished, as 15 years olds can not be friends with 20 year olds.

Out of sight-- out of mind.

Hang with your friends at school!

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Hi,

Thanks soo much for your help/advice earlier. I actually had a talk with him last nite via msn... so Im going to paste it here for you to see and judge..

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
do you want to play 20 questions?

brown sugar says:
not really
how was your day

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
it was pretty good.. quite bz.. had all the managers come in from the diff branches for meetings all day
had to attend to them while I was there.. even though I left early.. had to do what I cude
mind if I give you a call now?

brown sugar says:
remember talking about taking it slow

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
ok.. can I ask you something seriously..
ok you want to take things slowly. I agree. but how are we going to get to know one another if we dont stay in contact.. tell me?

brown sugar says:
ok
you are acting really weird
if you were on a date with someone would you stay in contact with that person all the time
if you liked him
i want to know you
but you are acting obsesive
you can't talk this over
ok

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
im here
if you liked them you wud want to talk to them and get 2 know them as much as you can

brown sugar says:
ok, who is your babie

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
and plus we are cities away.. wudnt that make you want to talk more as to if we were close
oh its a line from a movie
see when you are close to someone aka same town you talk less. when you are far away from someone you want to talk to them more

brown sugar says:
remember you said the worst thing inthe world when we were together

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
yes i rem that

brown sugar says:
i still think about it
and the way you were talking this morning
you know what,lets end it

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i just got a lil upset cause after you said dont worry well talk and then you dissapeared it felt like you didnt wanna know me

brown sugar says:
because you are the opposite lately that i knew and liked

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
no lets not end it
i agree we shud go slow..

brown sugar says:
when did i dissappear

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i want 2 get to know you the rite way
not wrong way as i had been supposedly been doing lately

brown sugar says:
you are acting weird
u said you don't get attached
and you are

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
Im sorry for acing weird
but we used to talk alot and I miss our talks.. thats all

brown sugar says:
i miss it to but you got to remember, that you said that thing
its hard to forget

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i do rem

brown sugar says:
im sorry, im trying to forget, but its hard

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
It’s not a big deal. It was just a question. You asked me that as well.

brown sugar says:
you upset me

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
I sorry for that, but you talked about it too.
and I want to make things works btw us..
so im gonn back off

brown sugar says:
i want to get to know you, but we have to take things slow

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
deal

brown sugar says:
i want to actually meet you
and see

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i know me too.. and that will happen soon

brown sugar says:
and hang out with you
but it is up to you

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
ok
im backing off
if you need to contact me you can.. il always be here.. I just wont piss you off with calls and txt msgs etc..

brown sugar says:
why are you acting like this

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
what do you mean?
you said i was being weird and obsessive. so im not goint do that
:D

brown sugar says:
please don't do that
because its not appealing to anyone, unless they are desparent
im not
i want to get to know the person

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
so tell me.. what do you want me to do..

brown sugar says:
and you are saying the wrong things all the time for last past three days

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
brb i think im gonna throw up
hold on pls

brown sugar says:
why are you throwing up

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
k i back

brown sugar says:
another turn off

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
i ate something today
that didnt settle well in me tummy
now I feel sick

brown sugar says:
im sorry

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
sorry for what sweetie?
its not your faults its the food

brown sugar says:
for being sick

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
ohh ya.. no worries.. i'll be btr in a few days
no more chicken sandwich at mcdonalds.

brown sugar says:
listen, we have to get together, before our relationship grows
and if want this relationship to work, you have come here

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
y before?

brown sugar says:
because i am so confused about you

Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
and with time.. sweetie.. you gotta know all you can about me first then we decide if I should come
neways... wat are your plans for tonite?

brown sugar says:
i am heading out
i have hockey
at 10
brown sugar says:
anyways i have to get ready
ttyl
Hey God! Will you keep my Baby safe?, Protect him from all harm, And give him strength and amazing grace,Tell him that I love him says:
okie... talk to u tomm?

Sounds like he wants to meet you and likes you but the "conversation" really threw him. He hasn't recovered yet.

It might not be just the conversation topic itself as much as the concern of your sexuality and fantasies that bothers him. Like are you normal and have normal fantasies, or are you weird and have unusal sexual fantasies that he finds offensive and discernable...

He has his ideas and ways, and you gave him hint and cause to be concerned you might not gel together in that area. Everything else he obviously likes.

Remember, guys are more sexual creatures than females. They have set ideas and likes and dislikes. Women are more opened to ideas.

You might have made him worry about you having a "wild side" that he doesn't want to be a part of. Maybe his idea of sexuality for a woman is subdued, gentle, demure, shyish, and/or tamer. More feminine-- not a wildcat.

Continue on and DROP the topic. Get him to agree to drop the topic from now on. Don't go there.

[view]






let me start from the beginning.. Okay here goes.. Ive been talking to this guy for almost a week now.. Met him online on a wedding portal site. Neways we talked for 3-4 days.. and things went well. talked wee into the nite.. for hours.. at a time, then.. we played a game called 20 questions.. then suddenly we got to the topic of gays.. and I had mentioned that it would be awesome seeing a gay guy with another gay guy.. that just totally turned himoff.. and he got disguste3d by that and hung up on me.. and sent a txt msg saying Idont want 2 continue this. i Havent spoken to him until day before yesterday and he told me dont worry about it.. I was wrong to be upset over this.. and I apologized as well. then I didnt hear anything from him yesterday no call no nothing. so I grilled him today on it.. saying I don't understand whats going on.. nor can I read your mind.. since your into be honest with me y cant you be str8 up with me and tell me.. I dont want to say anything that will make the situation worse.. aparently it did and he said you are actng weird.. ur not the same girl that I have grown to like alot. Then I said I am the same person.. and then I told a lie and said that I was having issues at home thats y I was all bent out of shape like that at you. He said you shouldn't take it out on the person ur getting to know etc..and I said your rite Im sorry.. He said you need to really slow down. I said and how do I do that? he said we'll see.. talk to you later.. and then he said he had to go to a meeting.. that was earlier today.. what do you suggest I do or not do? any comments/advice.. Ineed help im crazy about him and don't want to lose him..

Okay, this was over the telephone conversation(s)?

Meeting him just a week ago is not enough time to become "serious." That's one concern that probably bothers him. A month is more feasible.

Secondly, that was pretty much a "serious" discussion to have had with anyone (guy or girl) to have revealed such intimate thoughts and fantasies.

He also could be quite a homophobic, and you expressed a fantasy that was the opposite of his views and beliefs. Thus, any points you had gained with him just went into the red. Zeroed.

20 questions was for generalized getting to know one another, not intimate knowledge.

How would you have felt if a guy you'd just met a week ago, started talking about sex and getting into intimate talk? You'd feel threatened and think he was weird or a preditor.

This guy was enjoying getting to know you, and that subject came up and it tuned him out for whatever reason. Homophobic or he might even be bi-sexual himself, and that bothered him for you to say what you said. Who knows? You certainly don't know him yet.

All you can do at this point is "damage control."

He told you to slow down, so slow down. Breathe, take a pause in topical conversation. Keep it clean and generalized: music, bands, movies & television shows, actors, hobbies, interests, jobs/careers, family & friends, likes & dislikes, foods, restuarants, places, activities, things you've done, places you've lived, childhood adventures and memories, school, favorite color, news topics, anything-- but not sex. And definitely not intimate fantasies.

His meeting was an excuse and you know that deep inside. Your gut intuition is telling you and you're feeling rejected and embarassed.

Now you'll HAVE to keep it light. More upbeat and casual.

So chill, forget the subject and ordeal, skip it and move on to the next. That's what he wants also.

Let it develop from here on as though it never happened and it will soon be forgotten. Out of sight- out of mind.



[view]


Well I'm 13 and I am a girl.what happened was my brother found my message to my boyfriend about us planning to kiss. Then He confronted him, and now I think my boyfriends hates me. What should I do?

Hey, the conversation was between your boyfriend and you and not your fault your brother found it and did his "protective" brotherly duty...

...tell your boyfriend about it-- the truth, that he found it and only is protecting you from it as ANY brother would have...

Ask your boyfriend what HE would have done IF his sister had that message...would HE confront her boyfriend in order to protect her? Of course he would.

[view]



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