Occupation:author, editor, freelance writer and advice columnist
Member Since:April 10, 2007
Last Update:January 10, 2008
I'm psychic and a sociologist, and combined with the many different professions I've had, husbands, friends and family, and my share of bad neighbors too, gives me the knowledge and experience to cast new light on many old problems that we all face. Ask questions about anything you want and need answers to: Boyfriend or husband, school, sex, decorating, careers and career changes, family and friends, pets, diets and health and illnesses, finances, moving and relocating, divorce or marriage, and the nosey problem neighbor. -- Ask JR
Are there any FREE programs that i can download where i can make everything else in a picture black and white, and then make like one flower or something the color it is? I know i can do it on photoshop, but i don't want to buy something and i don't want just a free 30 day trial or whatever.
There are bunches out there. Google "free photo programs" and you'll see.
When you find one, want you want to do is a "negative" for the black and white, then select color for the flower, or black out the background only.
http://www.preclick.com/ (this one is for photos)
If you want a Photo Shop type program, go to a free download site and they will offer plenty.
okay so i have a big problem. i was dating a guy who was 22/m and im 16/f. and i noticed on myspace some girls started commenting him. and he would comment their pics telling them that they're beautiful. and he commented my pics saying the exact same thing. i thought that was kinda weird and i told him that i didn't like ho he was telling other girls that. and i have a feeling he's with another girl. and i broke up with him. this happened 3 times but this time when i broke up with him he said that he didn't want to talk to me ever again and i was hurt. and i wanted to know that was it right that i broke up with him because he seemed like a player or was i just over reacting and got a little bit jealous?
First, the age difference is an issue. You're still a teen and he's a man, not a teen.
Maybe if you were 21 and he was 27, it'd be alright.
This is one issue of him telling you he didn't want to talk to you again. He is a player. A 22 year old player. He has "women" he's checking out, and knows you are a teenage, thus more immature, and also "jealous."
Get over him. Let it go. Don't waste your time visiting his profile and feel the hurt again.
Out of signt, out of mind.
There's too many good guys your own age out there that ARE NOT players.
15/f/going in my junior year of highschool.
When I was in 7th grade, so I was about 11, I fell in love. His name was Michael. Michael was 12 going on 13 and he was wild. His lived with him mom but she hated him. He was on his own. I have always been sheltered and I felt like he was my only way to be .. free. He developed feelings for me also and he asked me out. We dated for about 9 months on and off. It ended short after he got drunk and some party and had sex with a girl he had just met. He was my first love. And I forgive him totally for what he did. I talk to him very rarely now. But when I do see him, I feel like we are back in 7th grade. That was 5 years ago. A lot has changed now. He wants to go into the army, he lives in an appartment with his friend's boyfriend, and he works as a "bouncer" for a club/concert hall. My problem: I feel like he could have my back in a heartbeat. I'm still very sheltered and I still feel the way I did about him then. his amount of freedom is something that I don't think I will ever have. I know you never forget your first love, but this is getting rediculous. I've had 3 serious boyfriends since him, but he's always in the back of my mind. I guess I'm looking for a way to get over him. We talked a few months ago (when I was single) about maybe getting together again. But that idea didn't last long because then he never returned my calls. I just feel a drive to call him sometimes. Please help me get him out of my head. I've have 3 serious boyfriends since him, including the boyfriend I'm with now.
Everyone has gone through this, and never forgets their first love.
But the only way to get over it is to NOT ever see or talk to him again. The old adage: "Out of sight, out of mind" is true.
You can't go back and pick up where you left off. The 7th grade was just that- it WAS. That's not NOW.
As time passes, the feelings will pass. Avoid contact with him and it'll speed the timing of the process up for you.
could someone tell me all i need to know about tanning?... like how much it costs, how much i should do it for when i first begin..and i know about the skin cancer, and i know to use tanning lotion or sun screen.
Tanning beds are JUST as dangerous as the sun-- if not worse.
Do not bother unless you want to hurry the aging process as sun bathing and tanning does. You'll be "leather" in a few, fast years.
Instead, check out the new tanning salons that "spray tan" on the tan. It's more expensive, but safe.
You can buy sunless tanning sprays at the store (any major discount store or pharmacy) or sunless lotions. The sprays are best.
That is what ALL the celebraties are doing now.
on the back of a tv theres that little thing you screw the cable cord onto. that came out of mine. is there any way to fx that?
If you still have it, you can super glue it back in the hole so you can plug the cable in.
If not, you can buy one from a Radio Shack or store like it. Just be sure to check if it is a "female or male" plug fist. It should be a "female" plug.
I just got out of a 2 year relationship where i was cheated on the whole entire time, so i really do not trust anyone and feel like i can ever be in love again or be in a relationship. It's been 2 months after we have broken up and i am sleeping with two different guys that i like. Sometimes it doesnt bother me because I assume the worst and that their doing the same thing, but sometimes I feel bad because they really like me and both want to be in a relationship with me, but im the worst person to be in a relationship right now, because my ex has turned me into a horrible person. I could have never seen me doing this to someone before, but it's like i dont give a shit anymore. I feel like theres no point being in a relationship because you can like more than one person. The relationship may seem perfect at first and thats all you wanna do is be around that person, but everything gets old after a while and people change. Nothing lasts forever. And that is the reason why I dont believe in love, because you can always find someone else that tempts you and makes you curious about them and then you become unfaithful. Everyone cheats and everyone lies. So right now I feel like im playing a game and part of me feels bad about doing that to those 2 guys, but the other part of me thinks...hey...im single and were not together so it doesnt matter if im sleeping with someone else. I want to know other people's opinions on this....has anyone else been in the same situation? If so...what do u think is the best thing I should do? Because I never was a trashy whore and Im still not. I just really like both these guys and I cant choose between them, and Im not even sure I want to be committed....
It took me 5 years to get over my ex. Everyone has their own time period to heal.
The only bad thing I see is neither guy knows you are seeing the other. That could be bad. You could hurt them once they learn about your toggling between them.
You should be honest with anyone you are seeing. Tell them right away (if evolving into a "relationship") that you do not want to be in a comitted relationship right now because you recently got out of one and hurt badly and have trust issues.
If the guy(s) likes you enough, he'll understand and stay in the relationship with you on your terms, being patient, or not. He might only want a committed relationship-- but trust, most men don't. They want more of a casual, non-committal relationship freeing them to date other women too.
You will eventually heal from the past relationship and trust again. Mr. Right will come along and you will trust him because you will fall in love with him and WANT to trust again.
You just need your time to get there, so have fun on the journey.
Hello there. I noticed on your column you said you were psychic. I was wondering, at what point did you know you were phychic? I've had experiences where I knew what someone was going to say or do before it happened. How do you know the difference between being psychic or just being really good a reading people?
Your ability is "precognitive" and usually comes in premonitions as well.
I was very young, around 9 or 10 when I realized. When my grandfather died at 2am, I had a visionary-dream where he came to me and said his goodbyes and that he would watch over me. His ghost has been with me and my family everywhere we've lived since.
I have premonition dreams; and they always come true.
I know what people are thinking, and it scares them to death.
I "see" things and can not explain it. I just KNOW things.
I can tell someone where their lost items are, or anything someone is searching for. I have helped local police before.
I can tell things and see it as a flash in my mind, just knowing without bonifide explanation.
The older you get, the more intuned and developed the ability (abilities) will become.
Listen to your inner voice and thoughts, and be aware of your ability(abilities) to develop them as you mature.
the cream that you use to get rid of stretch marks?
The Tyra Banks show had an episode about that.
She recommends "TriLASTIN" and it costs $79.95!!!
(Or Google "cream to get rid of stretch marks.")
When Googling that, read the ingredients that all the products have in them and pick one product that you can afford.
Most pharmacy stores like CVS, Walgreen's ad Wal-Mart Pharmacies, etc. have O-T-C creams for stretch marks that are priced resonably. Ask the Pharmacist.
I have red/curly hair. My hair grows like a snail. I cut my hair to my shoulders 2 1/2 years ago and it has only grown like 1 inch. Any ways that i can get it grow any faster? I want really long hair, like middleback length, like i used to have. Is there a way to get it to grow faster?
Protein, Vitamin B-6 - 50 mg. of vitamin B-6, Vitamin C with bioflavonoids - one to two grams daily, Vitamin E - 400 to 800 IU daily, Beta-Carotene - 10,000 to 15,000 IU of beta-carotene daily, One recommended daily dose of magnesium, sulfur, zinc, Silica (horsetail) - 300 mg. daily, Nettle - 250 mg. three times daily, Flaxseed oil - one tbsp daily or one tablet, Beta-Carotene - 10,000 to 15,000 IU of beta-carotene daily.
1. Eliminate or cut back on smoking, caffeine and carbonated sodas which weaken the body and block maximum hair growing potential.
2. Eat a healthy diet. Avoid foods that are high in sugar or fat.
3. Treat your hair like a piece of fine old lace. Treat it carefully avoiding any unnecessary brushing, combing or handling.
4. Avoid use of hot water, hot blow dryers or other hair care tools that may stress the hair.
5. Have a weekly scalp massage to provide stimulation to the hair follicles.
6. Do a series of ongoing hot oil treatments to protect the hair's shaft.
7. Have regular trims to eliminate split ends and allow the hair to look and feel healthier.
8. Get plenty of rest and sleep to allow your body to grow hair.
a) i havent had my period since may...i'm not sexual active or anything. and i started about two years ago. what could this be? i'm not worried about the whole pregnant thing..i'm just wondering. i have alot of like discharge like constantly..like alot of it, idk help anyone?
b) this guy and i have been hooking up for a while and he always does things for me, i want to do things for him and pleasure him. give me some ideas or something to really arouse him. plus bj tips would be great too :)
c) when i give a handjob do you go fast or slow or what? thnx.
d) whats the best way to shave "down there" before a guy like eats you out.
d2) are you supposed to like tell him when you're about to orgasm? i've always been kind of confused about that.
e) how long do you give head? like if he doesn't cum is that a bad sign like your not doing it right?
e2) don't you stroke the bottom of the penis, suck or whatever, and play with his balls? haha yeah i need bj tips :) thnx!!!!!!!!
thank you thank you thank you :)
Well YOUNG lady-- first of all, if you just started menustrating TWO YEARS ago-- you are too young to be giving "hand jobs" and shaving for a guy to "eat you out" !!!!
Is this a joke question to rile everyone?
As far as answering the period question, sometimes when you first start, it can take a couple of years to regulate like norm (if you are not sexually active, i.e. intercourse)
You have no business being involved in any sexual scenarios at your age. You will become a slut very fast doing these things and get a reputation fast.
Hand jobs and letting a guy go down on you is SEX! Just because it is not "intercourse" does not mean it isn't SEX.
Sex is anything to do with genitals.
hello, ask jr.
now, i know you said you were a psychic. well. several times, this person with a strange screen name was IMing me & said some things that most of my friends don't even know. like what hospital i was born at. and just flat-out weird things.
i don't want to give out my identity, or the screen name [it was on AOL instant messenger] but can you perhaps even find out ANY information about them? they've been the center of my thoughts so i'm pretty concentrated on it.
if you need any more information, please let me know.
i don't want to get the police involved or anything, but i need to find out who it was. if you can't tell me i know another psychic.
ANY information. no detail is insignificant.
I'm sorry it took so long to reply. Emergencies kept me away.
This "person" that knows about you (i.e. where you were born, etc.) is someone you know. Think back to anyone that does know what hospital you were born in, etc. You'll come up with the name.
I feel as though it is a cousin. A male cousin.
Was there a particular cousin that you were once close to, but now are not? He does not live in the same town that you do, but is miles, or states away.
He is playing a pratical joke on you trying to scare you for fun. He means no harm, but scary nonetheless.
Whether I am seeing right or not, do not continue to talk to "him." I could be incorrect and "he" (yes, it's a guy) could be a petifile/pervert.
P.S. To reply to your private email: Well, feeling like it was a "cousin" and isn't, it is someone you already know. Maybe a school (if in school) or at work, someone. This guy knows who you are and might be an ex-boyfriend. You do know him and he's pretending to not know you and messing with your mind. But he does like you.
He might be "testing" you-- it's easy to do over the internet and have a false identity behind the screen.
my friend S was taking pictures of my crush, S today and i think he knows that we were taking pics of him cause he kept looking at us! i feel really really retarded right now... does he hate me? what should i do? my friend likes him but i know i like him more. and i always thought he liked me. i am so scared he hates me now...
btw - this is me: & yes, same guy:
Sorry it took me so long to answer (was on vacation)...
He doesn't hate you-- he likes you too.
He simply caught you taking his picture and now knows you like him. He's alittle shy, but very flattered and waiting on you to make the move that YOU started...
So find a way to hang around him, talk to him, and then the ball will be in his court and his next move!
NOTE: This is WAY longer than I expected, but I wanted to give you the whole story so you can have a good idea of my situation.
My name is Lyndsey, I'm 17/f, and I live in South Carolina. Up until about three weeks ago (a little less) I hadn't had my first boyfriend, kiss, anything. On Mother's Day this guy I didn't know (but was my age and lived close to me) sent me a message on MySpace. I usually don't answer messages from people I don't know, but for some reason I did. We ended up talking some and I gave him my phone number. We talked on the phone for a couple of days and he asked me out.
The day before the date we met in public (to make sure it was all good) and then the next day we saw a movie and had dinner. We also met each other's parents on that night. We had a great time, he gave me my first kiss, and it was all good from then on out. He told he things he'd never told any of his friend, like that he was a virgin.
I learned a lot about him over the phone and he seemed REALLY into me. We were laying together on his family's boat and his sister said "You never did that stuff with Amanda" (his ex) so I felt pretty awesome. haha. His parents like me and I spent a lot of time at his house for those two weeks. It went further than kissing. We made out, grinded, hand job, blow job, etc. These are all things I NEVER said I'd do with a guy that soon, but it just felt right and I did what I was comfortable with. But he knows and accepted that I wasn't going to have sex with him until I was ready.
On Friday we were laying on his bed together and he told me he LOVED me. Now, I'm not naive enough to think that it really is love. I mean, I love him, but I don't think I can be IN love with him, or vise versa, so soon. As my dad said, he's "in lust" with me. But I did think he really cared about me either way. Well on Sunday he left for California for 2 months to work with his dad. When his mom asked if we had a "no dating other people" policy, he said yes...but that's pretty much all we talked about while he was going to be gone. On the day before he left, he had a party at his house. It was his parents, my parents, one of his guy friends, and a bunch of friends of his parents. Me, him, and his friend pretty much stayed inside alone and he acted different than usual. I got over it because I know how guys are around their friends and he did move closer to me on the couch while we were watching TV and put his arm around me like he always does.
Then as I left the party, we were outside and he gave me this awkward friendship hug even though I wasn't going to see him for 2 months. I was pretty upset about it, but he told me he didn't want to give my dad the wrong idea. I don't know if that was the whole truth, but I moved on.
I haven't spoken to him on the phone since he left. I can't call him because I don't have a number to call and he hasn't called me. I figured he was busy with work and meeting up with old friends, so I tried not to pity myself too much. I've sent him two messages on MySpace and when he responds he seems pretty normal and ends it with "I miss you! Luv ya". I told him if he wasn't busy this weekend that he could call me, but only if he wanted to. He hasn't been online since then, so he hasn't read/responded to the message yet.
I know this could be a question you can't answer, but I'm feeling really insecure. I don't know if he intended to call me the entire time he was there or if he wanted to focus on work. I don't want to ask and sound needy, so I don't know what to do. I just need some type of feedback from him so I know he still likes me as much as he used to, because I know I do.
I know 2 months is a long time (and only 2 weeks of dating doesn't sound strong enough), but I really want us to pick up where we left off once he gets back. I really like him a lot and can't stop thinking about him (yes, I'm becoming like those girls I always ridiculed), but I really want to know how he feels without sounding like I expect him to call me 5 times a day while he's there. I don't, but I just want to know if he's still into me. I will definitely wait for him to get back, but I don't want to wait if he has no intention of continuing our relationship.
Again, I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for your time.
Dilemma if there ever was one.
I understand how you feel.
Why don't you do a few things.
Visit his parents and keep in touch with them.
Leave non-chalant messages on MySpace inquiring how things are going, ask if he's having any fun, beaches, etc. and tell him about your life and friends, and carry on a "conversation" as you would face to face.
Keep the contact. Keep the conversation going with interest in his life in California and about the things you talked about before he left and friends you have in common.
All you can do at this point is keep contact as casusal as you can so when he returns, the ball is in his court.
P.S. Additonal Answer:
I would wait for the weekend for his call while he isn't working. Then if he doesn't call you, message him on MySpace and ask if he had a nice weekend and that you thought he might have called you being off. Ease into it with inuendos.
Then, if necessary, call him and have an open and honest converstation withour sounding possessive and needy-- but having the right to know since it was a "no-date" relationship while he is in California and all.
OR-- you could let it all go and continue messaging him as I said earlier and see how he responds and acts.
A good motto: Give a man enough rope and eventually he will hang himself. Another: Actions speaks louder than words.
so this guy, he is in one of my classes and he always looks at me. we make a good couple and i think he might like me. what do you think? if you need more info, edit your answer for the last question i asked you (the "are you a psychic?" one) so i can give it to you :]
He likes you. He feels you are above his "class" and is afraid to talk to you and start something because he thinks he is "beneath" you and you'd shun him and he doesn't want to be "rejected."
Talk to him. Drop a book when going into class or leaving right by him so he can pick it up for you. That's a converstation breaker.
Ask him what the teacher said about something, that you didn't hear it all-- or about an assignment or homework.
Break the silence, start the ball rolling. He wants you to give him a signal. He's also shy & quiet too.
P.S. No, he doesn't like another girl-- he's unattached and hasn't had a girlfriend in awhile.
Eye contact and deep sensual, sexy stares are good signals. Let him "catch" you looking and then smile softly. Sooner or later-- one of you has to speak up and start the ball rolling. Let your heart rule your actions for now. He's open and waiting on your cue(s) yet he is shy. He's afraid he'll make a fool of himself. Set him to ease by breaking the ice, but don't expect a relationship to launch fast-- he's shy and will move slowly. You move slow too, not to scare him off.
you're a psychic? can you answer some questions for me?
Sure, tell me and I'll do my best ...but you possibly have two issues-- one is a guy and another is a best friend.
I am not dumb i made excellent grades in school even in math up until ap calculuc but i am scared to run the cash register at my new job i feel like i am going to make a stupid mistake on the cash register even tough i have before and i don't know why i can't function under pressure i count find in my head when i am not required to but when others are around me and numbers dont mix does anyone have any advice for me
You will make mistakes-- it's inevitiable, even pro cashiers do occassionally and it's expected that mistakes will happen.
Chill out, be calm, and accept you will make mistakes, but do your best.
hey. i'm 13/f and i think he is 14 and obviously male. we like a lot of the same things and i really like him, although i only met him last week and we only spent 3 hours together, we seemed to have a lot in common. the thing is i don't know if he'd date me since we live in different towns and he's a year older. according to my friends he was flirting with me a lot, but i saw an equal amount between all three of us. how can i try to flirt with him a little more and make him like me a little more without seeming way desperate?
Next time, if friends are around and you want his attention more, just sit closer to him and talk more one on one about the things you have in common.
As you do, give him the flirtacious looks but don't over do them. Stare into his eyes when talking to him, maybe when laughing, touch his shoulder or leg...
He'll get the hint and possibly do the same in return!
Can you do anything to get rid of butt dimples? If so what can be done?
"Butt dimples" is celluite.
There's no "creams" that work-- it's all hype and marketing "scams" to get the consumer's money.
Exercise and drink plenty of water. ("butt" exercises)
Celluite is water and other fluids built up in fatty tissues.
Drinking alot of water flushes that and exercises break down the fat and muscles to clear it up. Diet healthy and that ceases the fat build up.
What if I'm like this forever? I'm always bored. I've lost a bunch of friends I thought I was close with. But all they did was turn on me. I can't trust anyone. But I still manage to give people a chance. Only, I can't seem to keep any friends. Like no one wants to stick around me. Maybe Somethings wrong with me. I have no one I can trust. Ive been going to therapy since i was 5 and it's never helped. all they've done is put me on drugs. But i'm not going to take any drugs. I don't trust them. And I don't trust therapist. They always give up on me and I don't like the fact that they only care because they're getting payed. It's not honest. And I feel like no ones Honest... But I'mm starting to hate myself because i feel like all i'm doing is complaining. And most of my life I've lived thinking "im not a coward and i can get thru anything" But after all these years of the same bull-cr*p nothings changed and all ive realized is that Ive had false hope... I hate myself and i hate who im becoming. Because after all these years of being treated like crap, im starting to treat others like crap. And I try my best not to, but sometimes I cant even control it.
I have no one to talk to and I feel like no one even cares enough to even listen. Ive tried writting, but that doesnt help anymore. And music use to be my escape. But that doesnt work much either, anymore.
I dont do drugs. but sometimes i think i should just to it, to numb all my feelings and just knock me out for a while. I know its the wrong way out. But i dont know what to do anymore. I wish my mind was simple and I could just not care like everyone else. And yes, i know everyone has their own problems, thats why i cant even talk to people. cause i hate being selfish and i know the world doesnt revolve around me. But ive felt like this my whole entire life!
And now, sometimes I just pick fights with people for no reason, or start arguements, Like if I want them to yell at me and put me down.
I HATE THIS.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE and sometimes I want to give up, but i know its stupid and suicide is the cowards way out and im probably too much of a coward to even do that.
And i go out and do excercise for a while. but that doesnt work anymore either cause i get back to feeling like i did before and now the feelings dont go away and i feel like cr*p while im riding my bike or something.
Well, my mind sucks and i dont even have the mentality of someone my age. Kids my age have their morals alll wrong and ive never been able to relate to their stupid lifestyles.. but i like to respect and i try not to put anyone down. so, im sorry. How can I get over these feelings? I feel like theres no hope. And no way out of this. Im 19
I don't know your family life situation, whether you have a good support system or not, but...
You need them more now than ever.
Tell your parents the therapist and therapy sessions isn't helping. And, by the way, are you completely open and honest with the therapist so he/she will know HOW to help you?
You sound like you suffer from a combination of manic depression along with trust issues.
Look back on your childhood and think if someone (a family member) abandoned you or failed you to the point that you can not TRUST anyone now?
There is a "root" to your mental and emotional state of mind and moods. The trauma you have suffered in your childhood has caused you the difficulties you suffer today in your inter-personal relationships with people.
You need friends and family to be HAPPY and healthy and emotionally satisfied.
Get a specialist. Have your parents find a specialist for teenagers that deal with teens mental health issues. That is the first step.
A group therapy with other teens that share the same problem(s) is an excellent way to start healing. You will find that you are not alone and other teens feel the same for various reasons.
Talking in group airs your inner feelings and thoughts, releasing them and preventing the pent up anquish and emotions from building until exploding.
You can not keep it all in, fearing you are "complaining." Yes, to others it is complaining and whining. But in a group therapy it is NOT!
Medications are not always the answer, although one antidepressant or mood elavotor that does work on you coupled with group therapy and a specialist is the best combo to help you become the girl you want to be.
Another thing is your negative feelings of yourself. That will cause you to fail and be exactly what you are afraid of, a negative, depressing person.
You have to have the frame of mind and attitude to "talk" nice and postive to yourself. Tell yourself it's normal for what you have been through, and that you can work through this, and you can be the girl you want to be and that you DESERVE happiness and good things for yourself like anyone else. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF FIRST.
Start a journal, even if it's a spiral notebook. List things and events in your childhood growing up. Family: Mother, father, brothers & sisters. Even if you are adopted, the adoptive parents. And is that the root? Your bio parents "abandoned" you? See what I am referring to?
List events, friends, bad things, good things, everything.
Then list your feelings, bad and negative and any good.
Write down your deepest thoughts and feelings and why you can't treat yourself good, why you think you deserve to be treated good and why you treat others badly...
You are in such a routine habit of negative thoughts to yourself that you've become self-destructive to yourself. A self-fulfilling prophesy of negative and bad is happening and coming true.
If you would like to email me privating, you can.
this weekend brought a really big shock for me. i found out that a couple of my friends that i think very highly of have gone as far as 3rd base (theyre 14-15) and then my best friend ever whom i look up to has tried pot (didnt like it) and got drunk at a party (shes 18)
now i'm not trying to force them to stop doing these things, its their life and their body, but it deeply disturbs and saddens me. i understand that this is very common behavior in high school (i'm homeschooled) but like the most smartest people i know have done that.
how do i deal with this? i just really have a hard time imagining them doing these things, its almost like its their alter egos. idk.
oh ya ps they arent lying about it... trust me on this.
any feedback would be mucho appreciated. if it helps the furthest i've gone was making out
It IS their alter egos. It's called "peer pressure" and regardless of 13 or 18, teenagers want to "fit in."
Your friend tried pot, due to the peer pressure and curiosity, but didn't like it-- so hopefully will refuse it on next offer instead of smoking due to the "peer pressure."
And the getting drunk is the same as I just mentioned.
For you to be able to deal with this, you will have to speak up and speak your mind just exactly as you did here in your question.
Tell your friend(s) that although you know that it's none of your business what they personally do and that it's their bodies and lives, it disturbs you just the same. You are concerned about them because you care, and drugs and alcohol are dangerous and addictive, let alone fatal when mixed. Pot and alcohol both will lower a person's inhibitions and cause them to act and do things that they normally wouldn't straight.
Once you've said your mind, you'll have peace of mind and of heart.
You've done your job as a friend, just like a friend that won't let another friend drive drunk.