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about

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.
I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.
my forum
My FAQ
Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!
--Jack
advice
My child makes comments like, "that person on TV is better than you at ..blank.., "you smell, you are the ugliest, I missed my cat more when I was gone. He prefers to be with his dad more than me, he takes his side, and comments that he would save his dad first and a toss up between me and the cat. What is up? I am about as normal a parent as it gets. No neglect, no physical abuse, no psychological abuse, no other priorities. Are kids just mean today and tell you all they think or is he just displaying his "love" in an awkward way. By the way, I am the parent that says yes to McDonald's, walmart shopping etc.
How old is your child?
I remember when I was about 7 or 8 I would do the same thing- except toward my dad, not my mom. I would always want to be with her and I would always say how much I "hated" my dad, etc., even though I loved both of them equally. I guess it's just a kid thing- I'm not really sure...
Maybe ask his teacher if other kids are exhibiting this type of behavior with their parents or whomever. I can't think of anywhere else but school or TV that he would get an idea like this unless he genuinely hates you? I don't see that as likely though.
--Jack
(16/m)
so my bf is very experienced and in a way that makes me feel better, but in a way it doesn't. he's ready to have sex with me and i love him alot and i do want him to be my first but i just don't know if i'm ready. the only things i've really done is kiss.. i did make out by the guy forced himself of me so it doesn't really count. i wanna go all the way with him cuz i completely trust him and i want my first time to be with someone experienced so they don't expect much from me. should i wait or just do it? i'm so confused. please help!!! =]
much appreciation, Chelsea
Anytime you even THINK about questioning whether you should have sex or not- the answer is no. Why? Because when you have even the slightest of doubts it means you aren't fully ready. You're questioning yourself and I can definitely tell you're not really ready.
Wait until there is absolutely NO doubt in your mind.
Then again- do what you must- but always make sure that what you do is REALLY what you want; making this decision and going through with it means no turning back: once you do it- you can't redo it =/.
--Jack
(16/m)
in the mocie smaart house played on disney, theres a scene where the daughter is in her room jumping on her bed and theres a music video playing on her wall..does anyone remember that and know what song it was?
i can't remember any of the words unfortuneately but if anyone could help that'd be great! =]
The only thing I know is that it's by the Spice Girls...
Dang- I should know the song- I just watched this movie when it was on two nights ago =/
Try YouTube?
--Jack
(16/m)
You see, there is this girl that I like and in language class we make eye contact for almost 3 seconds 2 times each day. I am to shy to talk to her, and she is quiet, and normally doesn't talk to boys. She normally sticks to her friends. I am in 7th grade, and I would like to know what a 7th grade girl does when she likes you, and also if those are signs. Thank you in advanced for your replies!
From http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_whether_a_girl_likes_you&alreadyAsked=1&rtitle=What_do_girls_do_when_they_like_you:
Normally when you think a girl likes you you have a good guess but the major ways are if they try to get close to you or come more of a friend to get closer to you there is also the way they may be acting mean towards you because they don't want you to know they like you.
General Tips
1. She calls you by a nickname and or says your name really loud and obnoxiously. Don't Worry if she doesn't though, she may quiet and shy
2. She always wants to sit or stand near you . If you're just standing there then suddenly you turn and see her there. The first time, it may be a coincidence, same with the second time. But if this continues to happen... its a major sign shes interested.
3. She likes to hug and touch you . Most girls love to hug. If she wants to hug you all the time. She's interested. OR... if she touches your arm. If girls push you and pull you places, its just a sign of flirting.
4. She laughs a lot around you . Girls LOVE funny guys. If you make her laugh... and laugh hard. Shes gonna fall for you hard!! (Although, keep in mind: When a girl laughs it may just be a sign of friendship, too) Unless, its like a really flirty laugh... or she even laughs at the lame things.
5. Her and her friends giggle when looking at you
100% she likes you.
Answer
Well it really depends on the girl, but there are some obvious ways to tell, but realize this might not be true for everybody.
For example if she.....
* acts nervous around you
* doesn't talk to you until you talk to her (she is scared that she might say something obviously wrong and you would resent her for it)
* if she acts like your not that important (but you are actually the most important person)
* if she laughs/giggles when you make a joke (be careful she might just think you are funny)
* you might not know it but she is actually looking at you from the corner of her eyes or she looks at you directly
* if she gets shy when you come close to the side of the room that she is on
* when she is talking to a group and you come in and she walks away (its not that shes not interested she is just nervous that she will act weird)
* when you look her straight in the eye and she looks back
* when she is talking to you and her friends are watching (this means that she is definitely interested and her friends want to know what you two are saying)
* if she acts annoyed when you two get put next to each other or in the same group (unless she actually hates you)
There are so many more but i don't have the time to list all of them. Remember a girl doesn't like to make the first move. And most girls wont ask a boy out. and normally if a guy asks out a girl even if she doesn't like him she is still nice about it.
and guys please don't ask one of your friends to ask her out for you.... Girls hate it and normally will say no even if they like you. because they feel like you don't like them enough to ask her out yourself.
And remember even if you get rejected 9 out of 10 times their is always going to be that one. and instead of living life alone instead of with the one you love. YOU WILL TAKE MY ADVICE.
Good luck oh and please if you like a girl just tell her she will probably feels the same way!
*Note: The above is from a website- and I am not trying to sell this as my own.
--Jack
(16/m)
ok i fell in love wit the boy of my dreams last summer. everything was great untill october wen i found out he had been cheating on me the entire time. we broke up and he left me for the other girl. around january we decicded to give it another chance. well i kept acusing him of cheating on me and i had my friends stock him. so we break up again. i miss him so much i dont know wat 2 do should i get back with him or just let it go. he was my first luv and i just cant let go
I'm going to make this as quick and as painless as possible.
He cheated on you. What makes you think he won't do it again? Obviously you can't trust him- as you had your friends stalk him..?
I would say don't try it out again- you'll probably just end up breaking it off again like the last two times.
Besides- there are plenty of fish in the sea ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
what does it mean when someone puts 1 in a convo. Like "I'll talk to you later. 1"
haha I'm sorry for asking a weird question but I want to know =D
Usually when you see a "1" kind of out of place, it means the person was trying to type "!" but didn't push the Shift key or Caps Lock.
If not- then I'm not sure. I guess I'm not so "in" with the latest things- so I could be terribly wrong.
--Jack
(16/m)
Ok, So I've been crushing on this boy for about a year now. We got pretty close as friends, and he's very religious and all cause his dads a preacher. But I'm not really that religious, I don't care what religion anyone is, that's their choice. But to the point; I finally asked him out this one Tuesday, he told me that he'd get back to me and such, so I waited. Then he finally tells me no that Friday. The next Tuesday that he's moving away. Later I asked him if he would if he didn't have to move away, and he said probably yes. He keeps acting like he likes me and when I ask for a hug he'll give me one. He's extremely kind and I can't help but want to hang around with him as much as possible; which I do. I don't know what to do, I keep falling more and more in love with him. I think I should tell him, but I'm really not sure at all...and I really really really want to go out with him, so I don't know if I should push that issue...I mean, if I did he might say yes. And he's only moving a hour away from my place, but...I can't drive for about 2 more years. And he's only a month and two days older then me..so he's in the same boat. But I'd get to see him 1 time each year till then at least...I don't know what to do...I really want to be his girlfriend and I don't want to lose him because he's became my entire world..I'm so lost and confused..please help, I'm running out of time...I have 2 more months with him.... ='[
and this Friday we were outside for science class and it was freezing to the point are hands were unable to feel. He kept saying how he couldn't feel his hand so I was like "give your hand to me" and I held it and warmed it up. he then said "that helped a little" then a little while later he started complaining about the cold again so I told him to give his hand to me but this time I held it with the sleeve of my jacket and when he let go he's like "that didn't help that much" which is probably true but I don't know.
then today, Easter, he sent me a happy Easter e-mail which he only sent to one other person, his best friend Robert I'm guessing..I don't know the e-mail address.
but yeah, what should I do about this all?
and how could I flirt with him? or convince him to go out with me?
Sometimes, and I say this with extreme caution, the mature thing to do is to realize that he is moving and there's nothing you can do about that. Sure- you can visit each other- but did you ever think maybe he's helping you out by not dating you?
Look at it this way: Should you date- when will you see each other? Maybe once a month? I'm not one to be cynical, but normally long-distance relationships don't work out for 14 year olds. [I'm assuming you're 14 because you say you're 2 years away from your license]. It would most likely be incredibly tough to maintain the relationship even from just an hour away.
Anyway- I'm sure the only reason he's saying no is because he cares about you and your friendship. You said it yourself: [[Later I asked him if he would if he didn't have to move away, and he said probably yes.]]
THAT is seemingly is ONLY reason. This kid obviously likes you, in my opinion- but sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want for what is inevitable- that which is bound to happen- in this case him moving.
I realize how much you want to date him- and as far as I'm concerned- you've made that pretty clear to him. Trust me- I'm not blaming you for being upset- I've been in your situation before. I actually was dating the girl for about a week and she ended up moving to North Carolina. It was so sudden and devastating =/.
Anyway- I think if you're too pushy with getting him to date you- it gets to be too much. I would stop because I'm sure he knows you're upset- and rubbing that in wouldn't be best for either of you- trust me.
I wish you the best of luck.
P.S. Today is my 2nd year anniversary on this site ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
k so I'm in this one class with this one guy and I think he's kinds hot but whatever. So today, I was getting into class and we have no real seating plan but everyone basically sits in the same seat everyday and he asks the person who is sitting beside me if he could sit there and that person asked why and he said because. Then I look up and he's looking at me. Does he maybe like me. But the catch, we never talk.
Thanks
Most likely he does.
I know this is something I would do.. because there's just something nice about sitting next to the girl you like and having other people move just to have that ;]
Good luck with this kid ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
So I'm 18/f.
I'm in a long-distance relationship right now, with an amazing guy. He's coming to town for a week on the 14th and I can't wait to see him.
But my mom is being a huge hassle. For one, she's making him stay at a hotel on the other side of town (which is 60 bucks a night.) Plus, she read his blog on his myspace and made him add her as a friend on facebook just so she can "know what this kid's all about". I find myself repeatedly apologizing to him because of her invasion of our relationship (she's always asking me what he meant by blah blah blah or teasing me about what I'll leave him for a comment, etc.) It's getting so annoying. I know she means well, but I feel like I'm under constant supervision.
She's insisting on driving me to the airport to pick him up when he flies in, and she even refuses to wait in the car when I go in to find him. All I want is to say hello to him without her supervision, since I haven't seen him in person since December. How can I convince her to just back off?? Help! I'm desperate.
Has she ever met him? If she hasn't- I think she's perfectly justified in what she's doing.
Your mother LOVES you. She cares about you and your well-being. She isn't purposely trying to embarrass you or whatever. She is concerned for you- and wants to make sure this guy is right for her daughter. She wants to make sure this isn't some stalker or rapist- since this is a long-distance relationship, over the internet, I'm assuming. But we both know that assuming makes an ASS out of U and ME. [Get it? It spells "assume".]
If she's met this guy before IN PERSON- well then maybe just ask her nicely if she would wait in the car. If you scream at her and throw a temper tantrum- that isn't going to get you anywhere. Show her that you're mature.
As for the him staying at your house- I see why she doesn't want him to stay over. You mother is worried you'll have sex with him. I could be wrong, though. Ask her. Communication is key. This is likely the reason- and I'm hoping that having sex with him is something you wouldn't consider under your mother's roof, but it's your choice. If this is her fear- tell her you won't do that, but don't lie. If that is your plan- then don't tell her you won't. My point is- don't lie to your mother. It never ends well.
Maybe ask that he stays in a separate room? That might help ease the worriment of your mother, perhaps.
All in all, just be honest with your mother- and approach her with maturity and tact- and perhaps she will "give in".
--Jack
(16/m)
I was just wondering.....how can you tell if a guy likes you?Because this guy that i really like looks like he likes me but Im not sure.What are some signs?
Hey!
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340
From there:
I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:
1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.
2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.
3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...
4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.
5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".
6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.
If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!
Here are some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You
--Jack
(16/m)
so yeah i am pretty curious about how you know if a guy likes you soo....
yeaa?
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340
From there:
I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:
1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.
2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.
3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...
4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.
5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".
6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.
If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!
--Jack
(16/m)
Ok, I have an ipod nano and I really want to download youtube videos onto it, bit I have NO clue how. I don't want to go around downloading random converters though. I do not have flash and I have Windows Vista. My computer runs slow all the time and freezes up in the middle of a download, so I need something fast and easy to use that actually works. Also, it needs to be free. :] Thank you!
Hey.. I just answered a question like this:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=532000
My answer:
www.zamzar.com
In "Step 1", click on URL. Then enter the URL of the youtube video.
In Step 2, converting the file to iPod works, but I've found that unless you have QuickTime Pro, that doesn't work well. Convert it to MP4.
In Step 3, enter your email address.
Then in Step 4, click convert.
It takes about 2 hours to get the email. Then when you get the email- save it to your desktop, and then open iTunes and drag it into iTunes. Then it should work. If not- ask me a follow up inbox question.
*PS* This isn't illegal ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
a man who is uncircumised penise always smell bad than a man who have circumised?
This, I believe is an urban legend. As long as the guy properly washes himself daily then it shouldn't matter whether he is circumcised or not.
--Jack
(16/m)
well, im going out with this girl. The thing is, we've never met. I got her number from Aol, and we used to go out on and off. Recently, we started again, and for the first time, since we've ever gone out, we talk everyday on the phone, and when not that, we text each other. So when we got bed i say "good-night, bye" but im wondering, when, should i say "love you?" because it seems like a wierd thing to say. we really like each other, but should i say "love you" aswell? if it helps, im 16/m
I mean if you honestly feel like you love her, and I don't mean like her- I mean ABSOLUTELY love her- then you might say it- but I would say that if you haven't even seen each other in person or talked in person- you shouldn't really say you love her. It might freak her out? I'm not sure. This is a judgment call you'll have to make for yourself ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
me and my boyfriend will have been going out for a month tomorrow. We havent kissed yet and my friend keeps making fun of me because she's almost 2 years younger than me and she and her boyfriend have already talked about 2nd base. Its not like I havent kissed a boy before. I don't think he has ever kissed someone before. So I want it to be special for him. But I'm kind of getting bored. I really want it to happen. Like I pine for it. I find him so irrisistable. Why can't i just do it?!
Don't ever rush things in a relationship. In my last two- that's why they ended.
So you shouldn't rush yourself or your boyfriend. You said you want to make it special- so make it special. Waiting for the right moment is SPECIAL. Rushing it ISN'T special.
Maybe talk to him about it- but make sure to approach it in a way that doesn't make you seem like you're desperate or whatnot.
--Jack
(16/m)
what do guys look for in girls?
do you like blonde,brown,etc.?
The best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.
I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.
Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].
BUT! To answer your question I like blonds and brunettes ;] It really depends on the guy.
--Jack
(16/m)
Alright, so i talk to this one kid in my last period class
And he goofs around wih me all the time like he tickles me, messes with my hair, takes my drink and hides it, you know stuff like that
but, sometimes he'll be like "i dont like you"
out of the blue
or he says im no very smart
so im wondering do you think he likes me or what
Oh my gosh! This guy totally likes you ;]
Tickling, messing with hair, hiding your things, etc. are definite signs.
"I don't like you" is an attention thing. I do it all the time. Like if I like a girl- I say that, but with a smile on my face and then tell her I'm joking.
If he looked mad after he said that then I'm not sure what it meant..
Here's something that you may find helpful:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340
From there:
I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:
1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.
2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.
3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...
4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.
5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".
6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.
If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!
--Jack
(16/m)
Do guys find it cute when girls are totally nervous around them and say stupid things then blush about it...? Or do they just think 'what the heck is wrong with her?'
I'd like to hear from guys only please...thank you!
I know you've already received answers- but you said you wanted a guy's answer.. so here it is.
Honestly it's VERY cute when girls are totally nervous, especially since I'm usually nervous too. Sometimes when a girl is too confident she might come on too strong and it's kind of irritating.
I like when girls blush because they usually smile at the same time, which makes me smile, which is good ;]
--Jack
(16/m)
I want to know if this guy likes me or not. I want to find out, but without going right out and asking him.
To the guys: Are there any hints that you throw girls to let them know you like them?
Guys only please, it probably wouldn't help as much if a girl answered.
Hey!
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=505520
From there:
First- I'm going to tell you that relationships aren't all they are cracked up to be. Sure- they are fun having someone to share things with and be with. But they involve a huge commitment and if you end up with someone who is clingy- they'll want to be with you every minute of every day- and you might not have time for friends or anything else you want to do. I say this because my ex-girlfriend was sort of like that- and got mad if I was busy with other plans.. and it was just really retarded. I haven't had a girlfriend since then [last December, I believe].
Anyway- the best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.
I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.
Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].
*EDIT*
Hey- sorry I just copied an answer from before.. so maybe I'll try to address the last question you had:
Yes there are definitely hints. I am always smiling at the girls I like. I'm always laughing when I'm around them. I make stupid and silly jokes. I find any excuse to touch her [not like sexually, mind you]. I do whatever it takes to get her to smile. Seeing a girl that I like smile totally makes my day ;].
Hopefully you see this edit =]
--Jack
(16/m)
so there's always arguements over what guys like about girls. we all think it's straight blond hair and big butt and all that stuff, what do guys really like in a girl though?
i know it depends on the guy, but do they like smart chicks, or ones that are happy all the time? what do guys in general like about any girl?
sorry for a lot of questions...
and thanks for answering. :)
Hey!
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=505520
From there:
First- I'm going to tell you that relationships aren't all they are cracked up to be. Sure- they are fun having someone to share things with and be with. But they involve a huge commitment and if you end up with someone who is clingy- they'll want to be with you every minute of every day- and you might not have time for friends or anything else you want to do. I say this because my ex-girlfriend was sort of like that- and got mad if I was busy with other plans.. and it was just really retarded. I haven't had a girlfriend since then [last December, I believe].
Anyway- the best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.
I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.
Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].
--Jack
(16/m)