Disconnected's advice column

15/f

So I'm 15 but I'm sure I look younger. I really would like some tips on how to make myself look older. I don't mean in order to get into clubs and stuff (so I don't necessarily need loads of answers telling me how to dress up etc.), I mean just generally.

So, I'll tell you what I look like.
*I'm really short, about 5'2 I think, which is a big factor to why I look younger. Everyone I hang around with is a lot taller than me, which doesn't help.
*I'm a size 6/8, but I'm not a really skinny girl - I have very big boobs and big hips, and a small waist.
*I have pale skin.
*My hair is just below shoulder-length, straight, dark brown (although naturally it's lighter), with a lot of layers, short and long, and a side fringe.
*I have big blue-green eyes, average-sized nose, a small mouth, high cheekbones and a square-shaped face.
*I wear a normal amount of makeup.
*My style is quite indie rock, that kind of thing.

So any tips on how to make myself look older, with makeup, hair, clothes, anything...?

Also, how can I act more mature? What are some do's and don'ts on appearing mature?

Thanks, x

Looks aren't always what make you look younger.
If you have a good posture, look confident (but not overly as in ''I'm a sex goddess, everyone love me!'' and you speak with good language, you will already seem older.
If you swear a lot, speak in a lot of slang or whatever and grouch, then you will look younger.

As for appearance, wear clothes that fit you very well, so no baggy hoodies and band shirts or scruffy, drawn-on converse. Also wearing a lot of luminous colors can make you look younger. (I'm not saying this is you, but it's an example :) ) as for make up, subtle but elegant will make you look a bit older, if you slap it all on, you will look younger.
I don't know if you do, but sometimes it helps to vary how you wear your hair. Sometimes you could scrunch it, or wear it up etc.

I have a friend who's 17, a year older than me, she wears a lot of luminous t-shirts, scruffy black skinny jeans and also ripped vans, with a lot of eyeliner. She swears all the time and she's impolite...she can't get a drink at a bar without ID...
Aha

I hope this helped :)

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15/f

It's really annoying me how my parents seem to think of me as a little girl.

In certain ways they don't - they know that I drink and do drugs and party, they let me stay out as late as I want to and I can go practically anywhere I want, but the way they speak to me is like I'm a little girl.

Also, certain things they do make me think the same thing. For example, the other night, my grandad gave me a lift to the train station, but I had missed the train and my friends had all left. So I was waiting for the next train. My mum called and was like, "Why did your grandad not stay with you? It's late at night and it's dark and cold and you're just a little girl!" I had to remind her that I'm 15.

Then today my dad was passing by the library so I asked him to grab me some books he thought I'd like, and most of them are shallow girly books about kissing aimed at 12-year-olds.

Also today, my mum actually said she still thinks of me as a little girl.

It's really annoying, how can I show them that I'm mature?

Them being worried about your safety doesn't mean they think you're immature or young.
You'll always be their little girl.
I mean, my parents let me drink aswell, although now that I'm 16 it's legal and I know how to take care of myself, they still ask me to text them once or twice whilst I'm in town.

They want to make sure you're ok. You're not an adult yet, so stop trying to be like one.

By doing doing drugs, drinking and staying out late doesn't make you mature. They let you do those things, but you're considered as mature if you come home at a respectable time, even if you could stay out until 5am, and came home sober.

You should relax about this.

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Okay so for 6 days (since friday) I've had congestion, cough, fever, you know all that good stuff that comes with the flu. Three days into it, however, my right eye started to ache when I move it the the sides, up, or down. Today I woke up and basically all my flu symptoms are practically gone except I still have that damn eye pain. I asked my doctor if I have a sinus infection but he said no. What is this eye pain from? If it matters, my right nostril is really the only one that's congested. (It's my right eye that aches, once again.)

I had the flu a few weeks back.
My doctor told me that the eye pain lasts for a few days, even if your flu symptoms are gone.
He explained why but I forgot :P
So yeah, I had the same problem.
Just don't strain your eyes too much for a couple of days and they will be fine :)
If it lasts for more than 4 days, I suggest going back to your doctor.

Get better! :)

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Are you happy?

I think this question will be fine here.

I actually have no idea if I'm happy.
I wish I knew :P

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Does anyone know when Evanescence is going to put out a new cd? Or if they are?

No, they might in the future, but right now they're not working on an album.

:)

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I'm 19/f

Looking for any sad/depressing books to read. Something that made you cry. Any suggestions?
Or maybe any movies? But I would prefer books.

Thankyou in advance

Friction by E.R Frank made me cry.
It was just the end.
It's a really good book, but the end was just so, so sad.

I think it was the only book that has ever made me cry :P

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Ok im a girl and i have mastrobated and popped my cherry, am i still a virgin? Also can a guy tell if you are a virgin or not. I want to know because when i decide to have sex i don't know how to explain that i mastrobate.

Agreed with the person below, although I'd like to say that the term is ''masturbate''

:)

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I hate my parents so much, my mom is a stupid self-centered hippie bitch and she always wants attention in public. My dad is so mean to me, if he doesn't get his way in a argument he just tells my mom lies or stretches the truth a LOT so that she won't even listen to my side of the story and just lets him do whatever to me. She always believes him and never me because I'm "disrespectful" to them but thats because they always leave my problems with them and we never talk about them but everything that I do that's wrong gets recognized RIGHT AWAY. Anything good I do is never recognized. AND my dad hits me and nobody believes me, probably because I act stupid annoying and selfish and outgoing but thats just because nobody cares at home and I don't want to be a stupid dork. I hate my parents so much I wish they were dead, I'm not just saying that becuase I'm a teenager or anything I really do want to kill them both or kill myself to show them and maybe people will recognize me and then my parents will look back and think "huh maybe we should have paid attention to her and not just fucking ignored her and hit her and ditched her in the middle of nowhere" and then I'll be up in heaven laughing at them crying over my body. I know I sound like a crazy bitch who wants attention but I really would like to kill myself so that they realize that they're not going to have a relationship with they're daughter. Oh well fuck them.

There isn't a question in this, is there?
You've just let out what you've felt, although I do get the impression that you don't treat them with respect, judging from what you've said here.

You have to relax, if your parents don't want to listen to you, for a while, don't tell them things or ask things.
I know some people want more attention than others...but bitching about it isn't going to change anything, that's the way the person is...

Take it easy for a few weeks, avoid getting into arguments with your dad. Sometimes it's easier to just let him win without the argument, I should know, I always argue with my dad. Like, ALWAYS!

Then, send them a letter, email it or hand write it and leave it where they will find it, for instance their bedroom dresser.

If you're not around whilst they read this, they will think about it a bit more, and when they notice that you've written a letter to explain your feelings, they should understand.

When you talk to them, stay calm, don't bitch at them, don't walk off screaming or anything, act like a mature person.

And killing yourself isn't going to make things better. You will leave the world, hating your parents. Suicide doesn't change anything. And you really wouldn't enjoy watching parents grieve their child.
And if they were dead, you wouldn't be happy. You may think so now, but if it did happen, you would regret thinking such thoughts for the rest of your life.

So, stop being so bitchy about everything, treat them with respect. I know you're pissed off, but being the way you are right now makes your seem more immature to your parents.

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i know this is kinda late to ask but i just realized today that i am in love with my boyfriend. he told me two weeks ago that he loved me and i wasn't ready to say it back yet but now i am. i'm planning on telling him tomorrow night after our valentine's date. he's coming over to my house to watch some romantic movies. he's told me several times that he's in love with me but the past few days after i told him i wanted to wait a little longer, he has stopped saying it. i'm not sure if he's waiting on me to tell him so i'll have time to think without being pressured or if he will say it again. are there any good ways that i can tell him that i love him in a cute, romantic without it seeming really staged? would it be best after we kiss or while we're cuddling during the movie? any advice would be very helpful. thanks!

I would do it when you're cuddling, whisper in his ear ''I really do love you too'' and then after wards you can kiss him.
It'll be cute and it's very personal like that.

Good luck :)

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Okay so i am a 20/female and my boyfriend is 33/male....we have been dating for about 7 months now and I don't know what we should do on valentine's day. the reason being is that we are both financially having a bad time right now and can't afford to spend any money on this holiday, but i really want to celebrate it! so any ideas on what to do? p.s. he in not really a romantic type of guy, but he would be up for anything. please resond! thanx

I agree with the person below, although if you're gonna drink, then don't go someplace with a car.
That is a very bad idea...
My friend's boyfriend drove her to someplace and he brought champagne...but they both drank it and they had a small car crash, because he drank quite a lot aswell..so be careful with that...

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i don't know what the quote ;
" inhale love exhale hate "
means can anyone help me please ?!
hahah kthanksbyee - toriibabeyyx0

It means that breathe in..take in the love...and breathe out..or let out the hate.

That's it. :)

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I have over 800 files on my iPod, and recently got a new laptop. I'm curious if there is any possible way I can get all my files from my desktop computer (where my current itunes library is) to my new computer, without starting over and downloading all 800+ songs again. Is anyone 100% sure of a way to do it? I tried something from ehow.com and it did NOT work...thanks in advance for any help you can offer me!

I know how...
If you have all the files on your iPod, all you have to do is download Music Rescue;
http://www.kennettnet.co.uk/musicrescue/

It's free, but every 50 songs you have to click ''no'' or something like that ( a popup offering you to buy the software)
So install Music Rescue on your new computer, if you have iTunes, uninstall it just in case.
Then open up Music Rescue and it lets you choose a place to save your files, and then it'll start copying all the music to the laptop off your computer.
I've done in three times, and it had always worked...

If you have any other questions, just ask :)

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Okay well this isn't really about a computer it's about my phone which is like a hand held so I guess it's kind of like a mini computer.

well anyways I have a t-mobile wing and it has a scratch on the screen, I've been trying to get rid of it for the longest time I can't send it in to get a new screen because that costs to much money, and I've tried going to yahoo and searching in "how to get rid of scratches on a cell phone screen"

Honestly? You can't get rid of a scratch by yourself.
It's permanent damage to the screen. It can be fixed by them replacing it or just giving you a new phone.
Sorry, I have the same problem with my phone. I asked around, searched...my options were to either send it to get fixed (assloads of money) or just replace the phone which is just as expensive.
So I'm stuck with the scratch, but I've become used to it, and I'm capable of ignoring it now :P

Sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted to hear...but it's the truth.

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sometimes in music videos, i see sims walking around like they're slouching. or really depressed, while their walking.

how do i make my sims do that? does anyone know?

In Sims 2 University the Young Adult Sims slouch...
That's all I can think off.
Or when adults have been fired, then they are depressed and slouch ;)

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Okay, im 15 and im finnaly allowed to get a tattoo. Im allowed to go once i figure out what and where i want this tattoo. Thing is I HAVE NO IDEA! I've loked at probably a million tattoos and cant decide.. also i have to be able to hid it from other family members. Anyone know any good websites or ideas on what i should do ? plus where i should get it !

This for ideas:
http://www.bmeink.com/bme-tatt.html

But honestly, if you're going to get a tattoo, it should mean something to you, not ''just because I could get one''
I think you should wait until you know what you want and it has a meaning to it.
Like my guy friend, he was allowed to get one at the age of fifteen, but now, two years later he finally got one that says ''Never Assume'' because it has a meaning, it is very important to him, not just because he could get one.

Don't rush this...

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i'm going to go and get my ear's pierced so that i can work up to getting gauges. i once had my ears pierced whenever i was around 8 or so, and that got infected and i recall it hurting, so i've always been scared that it's going to happen again if i go get them re-done. but at this point, i really want gauges so i'm in a kind of "i'm just going to do it anyways" kind of state. but what would make me feel even better is if before i went, there was some kind of thing ic ould buy or something at home i could rub on my ears to make them numb a little before i go. i know that the clamp they use to pierce already is pretty much distracting and hurts more than the actual piercing, but it would just make me feel a little bit better about not feeling any pain.

so if anyone has any suggestions, i'd love to hear them.

thanks!

If you go to a proper piercing place...and please, not Claire's, then they probably wont use a clamp to do standard lobes. But if they do, it's not that painful, I had my Helix done with a clamp, and it was just pressure.
As for numbing, I wouldn't suggest buying something beforehand... If the piercer asks you if you want your lobes numbed, s/he'll do it, but it's uncommon.
I'm assuming you had your ears pierced with a gun when you were eight, so that hurts more, as they push the earring though. A piercing place does it with a needle (ask for 14 Gauge, it'll be better for the stretching process) and it won't hurt as much.
To stop your piercing from getting infected, just clean it twice a day, and don't mess with it. If you touch it, wash your hands beforehand. Don't start stretching until your ears are COMPLETELY healed and don't cause you any pain whatsoever.

So, when you go to get your piercing, eat before, so you don't get woozy and relax. If you have any questions, ask the piercer...and please go to a proper piercing place...not a Claire's.

If you have any questions about gauging, inbox me, I've gauged my ears to 2ga :)

Happy piercing! :D

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I'm 16f and my brother is 14. His room is next to mine. about two weeks ago I was looking for something ona a high up shelf in my room and I noticed a small hole in the wall. I looked through it but couldn't see anything. I didn't think anything about it and sorta forgot about it. Then like 5 days ago I was in my room getting ready for bed and right when I took off my bra and panties to take a shower I heard a noise right where the hole is. I was totaly wierded out and decide to check it out. The next day I went into his room and figured the hole is in his closet I went in there and saw his set up. He has a chair in there and a box of tissues (YUCK!!!!) From the hole, he can see most of my room including my bed. I was so scared since that means he's probably seen alot. I'm not a really bad girl, but I have snuck a few guys into my room when my parents were out and clothes have come off, and I do do things when I'm alone. I've had friends overnight and they've changed in my room. Now it's pretty clear I've had an audience. I'm totally pissed at my brother for doing this. Until now we get along great and I actually elt him hang out with me and friends becuase he's pretty cool. I really want to tell my parents on him but two things stop me. First my brother might turn the tables and tell my parents that I've had boys over, which they absolutely don't allow. Second, my dad has a really bad temper and is very strict. He'd probably whip my brother's ass off (I mean it, my dad still uses the belt on his bare ass if my brother doea something really wrong. 10 or fifteen stripes is pretty typical for a beating. It leaves my brother howling and he cant sit for days) and then who knows what he's do to me over the boys. I'm too embarassed to talk to my brother because he's seen so much. So I don't know what to do. I can't even cover the hole since my room was painted in this custom purple and we don't have any left. Any paint there would clash. Any advice?

That's horrible :(
The best thing to do would be to cover up the hole, so like said poster or things. Or you could even just put some cotton wool in there, and then a poster in front of it.
When your brother realized that you've covered up the hole, on purpose...then he'll understand.
Talk to him about this in a few weeks or so, after when you're certain that he knows that the hole is covered up.
Ask him why he needed to invade your privacy, and tell him it's wrong because he is your brother.

I hope it all goes ok, but cover up the whole as soon as possible.

Good luck!

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Hi...i really want to have aim but i cant download it on my computer.I wanna know how can you go on aim without downloading it and if you know any websites that i could go on aim for free on without getting any viruses???Thanks for your help.

You can also use AIM on this:
www.ebuddy.com

It's good :)

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