Comrade's advice column

All hotels (That I know of, at least) require you to be at least 18 to check in, and I'm sure there are some that require you to be 21. Your best bet would be to check the specific hotel you're planning on staying at.

[view]

before i get into this, yes i know, i'm probably a slut. so sorry.
ANYWAY.
so this guy has been my best best friend for about two years, he's so nice and he's always been there for me.
last summer he asked me out and i said yes.
we've been going out for 9 months.
he was my first time having sex, and i was his.
...but during that 9 months, i hooked up with 4 other guys.
not in a row, not even in the same week.
yeah, again, really wicked sorry.
he doesn't know about them.
no one does except the guys.
i feel awful.
but the truth is, the guy i'm going out with now, while he's super nice to me, is a dick to everyone else, allergic to cats (so he can't ever come over to my house), allergic to lettuce (i'm a vegitarian), not very attractive, listens to mostly different music than me, gets terrible grades, can only talk about things he's interested in, and is militantly straight-edge and i'm totally not.
i really do want to go out with someone else.
i have for a really long time.
i've tried breaking up with him 5 times but i always feel bad and like an hour later get back together with him.
it's so so hard for me to make him upset.
and even though i don't want to go out with him and i know that if i drag this out any further i'm just going to resent him more and he's going to get more attatched.
he says things to me like "i love you forever, please don't leave me" and "you complete me" and "i need you, i love you more than anything"
and i just feel awful, i hate being mean to him.
but i really really want to get out of this relationship without completely hurting his feelings.......
WHAT THE !@#? do i do?!

Unless you see your feelings for him changing in the forseeable future, dump him now, quickly and permenantly. The longer you put it off, the harder it will be for the both of you when it finally does happen.

The best way to break up with a person is to give them the complete and total truth. The worst part of a breakup is the uncertainty and confusion. If he's certain where he stands with you and why he's being broken up with, he can get over the pain and self-pity faster and you can both get on with your lives--which is the point of a breakup.

[view]

Well, i'm a 14 year old girl so all of you probably think i'm very immature but please help, i need advice. You see my first boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago, at least officially. We were in a 10 month relationship. I don't count the last month because he was distant at times and then lovey dovey at others. One night he would tell me how much he loves me and then the next he'd be cold and tell me to leave him alone. Finally he got the guts a few days ago to tell me its over completely and he no longer loved me. I tried to understand what had happened and all he said was he didn't deserve to feel guilty. That he had to pull the trigger on the gun and had to deal with all the pain. So since i'm young i have to know, do i have a right to be mad? i mean, now he says he just wants to be friends but i mean does a guy really mean that when he says it? that he just wants to be friends? and then i still have feelings for him and it hurts alot. i mean can a guy really just forget the feelings he has for a girl that easily?

Emotions change. People change. In your case, your ex-boyfriend changed (Or at least, his feelings for you did). This isn't your fault. This isn't his fault. It's just the way people (Not just guys, but people) are, especially at your young age.

There's no such thing as a "right to be mad". Either you are or you aren't. If you aren't, you shouldn't force yourself into anger because you think you "should be" mad. If you are, then try to get out of that state as soon as you can--Nobody likes a bitter bitch.

I'm sure some guys mean it when they say they want to be just friends, but for the most part it's a tool used to soften the blow when breaking up with someone. I know personally, as I've used it before and have had it be used on me.

It sucks to be broken up with, and it's even worse when you're not given a good reason why. Keep in mind that the pain you're feeling is temporary. Tell yourself "This, too, shall pass", and remember that time heals all wounds.

[view]

i need to know what to DO at my goodbye party. ages 14-16 im leaving to move to another state and saying goodbye to all my friends. like 20 people. I just dont know what people do at good bye parties...well what teens do. im having it in my back yard. no sports and no karaoke. im just happy to have my friends there but i dont want people to get bored. they dont all know each other but will at least know a couple people. all ideas welcomed :) i will rate---thanks!

In my experience it's very, very difficult to throw a good party if all your guests come in different exclusive "groups" that don't know each other. Consider scrapping the idea of a large 20-person party and instead having several smaller gatherings with each "group". That way, it'll be easier to decide on an activity, and you overcome the awkward factor of trying to force people to meet each other.

[view]

You know how when you scroll down (with the little rolly thing on the mouse,NOT clicking the arrow) it scrolls in chunks... is there anyway or any setting on the computer to make it scroll smooth? Like on phones how you can drag and it scrolls smooth. Thanks

I believe that particular scroll speed is determained more by the mouse than any CPU-side setting. Although I could be wrong on that.

Instead of rolling the mouse wheel, try "clicking" with it and moving your mouse up or down a little (Not too much or you'll scroll to fast). It's much easier to get a slow, steady scroll suitible for extended reading that way.

Hope I helped.

[view]

I got a game called "Supreme Commander - Forged Alliance." I put this on my computer (Windows XP) and this message comes up
"Hardware Based Instancing Required
Please ensure that computer has current video drivers"
What does this mean? Do i need to get new drivers? If so where should i get them and for how much?

Video drivers are the software counterpart to the hardware in your computer, such as your video card. Drivers are updated all the time, and chances are if you haven't updated in a while and have a new video card, yours might be out of date.

Lucky for you, drivers are free of charge, since you've already paid for the hardware that goes along with them. Find out what the make and model of your video card is. Chances are the appropriate drivers will be on the website of the manufacturer

[view]

Okay well Right now I am Dating "Rob" but before i dated Rob. I was dating "Al". So heres the story, in Noverber i started dating Al and we hit it off and our relatioship was amazing. Then I met Rob, who was my ex-bestfriend ex-boyfriend. I knew Rob for awhile. but after they broke up we really started hangin out and he becamse my best friend. At first we were just friends but then we kissed. So i cheated on Al and i felt so bad but i never told him..i know..dumb..but yeah. Later in March i find out that he is doing things i don't agree with..smoking and drinking and things. I gave Al like 3 chances to stop and stop doing onther things, and one time i thought he was going to hit me, but i still dated him. well after Al found out through a letter, he cheated on me. So I broke up with him becsaue i found this out and we got in a huge fight. Then Rob asked me out and i said yes. I've been dating Rob for about a month but everytime i see Al. I just want to be with him and hold his hand and hug him and kiss him. Even thou he has cheated on me and scared me and everything. He really is amazing but at the same time Rob is amazng too. So my question is what should i do? Should i date Rob or Al..i knwo you can't tell my feelings. but what do you think would be best for me. Al is 15 and Rob is 16, in my grade. Al's parents hate me, robs parents love me. Rob gets money so we can do things. Al doesn't. but at the same time. i love Al.so pleeease help!

The truest thing you said in your question is "i knwo you can't tell my feelings". You're absolutely right, we really can't. Nor can any of us make that decision without knowing your feelings. Since you're the only one that knows your feelings, it follows that this is a decision that you have to make for yourself.

However, on Al's behalf:
-Just because Al drinks/smokes does NOT mean that he will presure you into drinking or smoking.
-Just because Al drinks does NOT mean he's an alchohlic. He might be, I don't know him so I can't say.
-Choosing to date Rob because he gets money and Al doesn't is a piss-poor move. You have to be happy with the person you're with, not with what the person you're with has.

At the end of it all, my only advise to you can be to go with the guy who makes you the happiest. Be open-minded and as objective as possible.

[view]

15 f
okay so i am making a demo on saturday and i need some karaoke songs. i found some on youtube that i really want and i have ares and limewire and tried to download it there but it doesnt want to download, and some songs arent even there. so im asking if anyone knows how i can get that song on youtube to be on a cd so i can make my demo? what should i do i need the song cold as you by taylor swift and i cant download it i saw it on youtube but i need to know how to save it and they have no downloading sites...help? thnxs in advance!

YouTube videos are hosted in the FLV (Flash Video) format, to make them easier to download to many people quickly over the internet. Flash Video isn't commonly supported by many of the media players because 1) It's a relatively new format and 2) Most people don't have FLVs downloaded anyway. Basically, all of the above means that even if you were to download a YouTube video, it wouldn't do you any good. You would need to convert it, as well.

What you need is http://vixy.net/. Not only will it convert YouTube videos (Or any FLV hosted anywhere on the internet) into a useable format (Even audio-only Mp3!), but will then allow you to download your converted file. Best of all it's free!

[view]

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - from Hamlet , Wm. Shakespeare; Act II, scene ii

do you agree or disagree? its very debatable.

Agree. "Good" and "bad" do not exist in nature. They are labels that humans have given to certain acts, people, beliefs, etc. Thus, "good" and "bad" are completely subjective.

Not that it matters much. The root of all objectivity is subjectivity, so everything is subjective. As Renè Decartes put it, the only thing you can truely be certain of is that we are "things that think". This is the only absolute truth. Nothing more, nothing less.

In a sense, it roundaboutly addresses Hamlet. If we're unsure that good is actually good, is it really good? For all we know good could be evil. Do good and evil really exist? (The answers no, yes, and no.)

[view]

Okay I have this MAJOR crush on this guy but he moved away last semester. We talk on the messanger (msn) all the time. I've told my bff that I like him. But she flirts with him (online) ALL the time. She knows I am in love with him. Yet she's acting like they're married. She ALWAYS descides the guys I like she likes! What do I do? Confront her about this. Or ignore it. I still wanna be friends

_HELP ME OUT
ash

One thing people commonly forget in love-triangle situations like this is that the guy has free will too. In the end, whoever this guy ends up with isn't entirely your decision or entirely your bff's decision. He has a say in who he dates, so she's only "stealing your man" if he lets himself be stolen away. And in that case, you're probably better off without him anyway.

That said, I wouldn't advise competing with your friend over this guy, especially since he's already moved away. I don't know how far he moved, but it's it's far enough that it's likely you won't see him again then there's little point in persuing a relationship with him.

However, do confront your friend about this. A good friend would take stuff like this into account before before doing what she's doing. Keep in mind that from her point of view, her role and your role are reversed. To her, YOU'RE probably the one stealing HER man.

[view]

I'm on the Varsity dance team at my school, and we need a song to go with one of our routines since we're no longer allowed to compete with our old song since it was used by other teams.

It needs to be upbeat, with music changes ( as in beat) but it can't be all techno. please help! any suggestions would be great!

I suggest anything by The Electric Six. They play rock music, but it's surprisingly good to dance to. Some of their songs wouldn't be...uhm..."appropriate" for a high school dance team, but there are a few that would be just perfect for you like "Dance Commander".

[view]

13/f

so my best friends boyfriend likes me A LOT!
i told him to stop but he still keeps flirting.
he keeps calling me, he gave me a song and he write me a lot of notes. What should I do???

You haven't meantioned that you like him back, so I'll assume you don't.

What he is doing is wrong and inappropriate. Your friend has a right to know. As for this guy, be sure to be clear and consistant in your answers. Don't leave any room for doubt in what you mean. Don't give mixed messages. Don't make it seem like you're just playing hard to get.

[view]

I've been with my bf for almost three years. He has been out of work for the past year and I can't take it anymore! I gave him 30 days to get a job or get out and that was up on the 5th. I extended it two more weeks, but I regret it b/c it seems like I'm wasting my time (and money) b/c I don't think he's trying. Wuts the nicest way to get rid of him?

Your question leaves out an important bit of information that the proper answer hinges on.

You say "Get a job or get out" and "waste of time (and money)", making it sound as if you two live together. If that is the case, and you're supporting him, then yes, you would be well within your rights to issue ultimatiums like these and dump him if he doesn't follow through. There's no need to be nice, especially since you've given him an ultimatium, a warning, AND an extension.

If, however, you're a couple of teenagers and you're upset that your boyfriend isn't buying you everything you ask of him because he's not working, then you need to get a reality check and realize that he isn't obligated to you to work or provide you with money. I should be giving HIM ways to get rid of YOU.

Again, your phrasing makes it sound like the former situation is more likely, but it's not exactly clear.

[view]

Ok so im a junior in highschool and like many other girls in high school i like a guy. well its more than just like. anyway it gets just a little more complicated than that. a good friend of mine is in love with him...but he turned her down. i know he feels the same about me. but i dont know what to do. what should i do?

I have to disagree with the other advice given here. You are under no obligation to protect your friend's emotions after this guy has made it clear that nothing will happen between him and her. If they were dating, or if he hadn't turned her down yet, you would be in a completely different situation.

You have to remember that this guy is a person too. A person with emotions. It would be cruel and unfair to deprive him of the person he likes (That's you) because she's good friends with a person whom he rejected (your friend).

Assuming your friend is around your age, she should be mature enough to handle rejection responsibly and realize that it takes two to work a relationship and anything that happens between you and this guy is a product of neither of your efforts exclusively.

[view]

In art class I was PMSing me and Steven got in an arguement, we are kinda friends and he knew I was on my period and wasn't happy but he flipped out. He ended up calling me fat and I was so close to hitting him-it scared me.
I usto do that. Hit without thinking and then regretting it but I stopped that. I dont want to fall back into that habbit of you mess with me ill beat cha up! I dont wanna do that anymore.
Is there anyting you can recommened to make me black those thoughts out when someone says stuff me to because him saying that about ym weight hit me really close to home... and it scared me that I was so close to actualy putting a hand one me.

14\Female.

This is really just an issue of self-restraint and self-control. There's no real way to control your behavior other than to discipline yourself enough to curb your reflexes. That kind of thing can really only be developed over several years and usually comes with maturity.

If you're REALLY desperate, in an episode of Seinfeld, George's father curbs his temper by repeating "Serenity Now" whenever something upsets him. I doubt it'll work, but you could go ahead and try that.

[view]

in my math class, we have to come up with ways that we will use math in our future careers. my future carrer that im writing about is a dental hygenist.

ive thought and thought, but i cant think of any other ways to use math as a dental hygennist.

can anyone give me some ways that ill use math there?

thanks so much for all your help!

An intelligent woman once told me that, at least when it comes to small school assignments like these, it's always better to write well than write truthfully. What I mean to say is, even if you really do plan on being a dental hygenist some day, write about being something else, like an enginner or a pilot. The answers will come to you a lot easier, and your writing will seem less "BS'd", which teachers always love to see.

[view]

Ok, for mother's day, I want to play a song on the guitar. I've tryed writing one, but i'm not very good at that at ALL. Are there any mother's day songs with chords to them that are (hopefully, but they don't have to be) humorous? Thanks!!!

Give the songwriting thing another chance. The song will have more meaning to your Mother the more effort you put into it. If you're really stuck, take the melody of another song and write your own words to it. That shouldn't be very hard at all.

As for songs already about Mother's Day, I'm afraid I've got nothing. Sorry.

[view]

15/female
hey
okay so my boyfrend got his phone taken away and his texting blocked [cuz he has a harsh dad]
so hes been calling me on his house phone and stuff
which is fine
then his dad turned off his internet
and told himm that he wasnt allowed to use the house phone anymore
what do i do?
i have like no contact with him anymore!
he called me this morning to tell me he couldnt call me on his house phone anymore.
i dont know what to do
i love him sooo much and i dont think i can go a day without talking to him
help
please
:[

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you'll be surprised how easy it is to go a day or two or four or ten without talking to him. It's a scary thought at first, but it's easy enough. I had a similar situation with one of my exes about six years ago, where every weekend is agony because we couldn't stand to be apart.

Once you do it the first time, it becomes easier the second, third, and fourth times.

But that's not really the answer you want, is it? Try laying low for a while until his dad de-harshes himself. There's really nothing else you can do.

[view]

Kay so I need just the music of the song Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana. I'm doing a school speech and making up my own lyrics to it..so i need to find just the music..like ASAP!
Thanks in Advane!

p.s. I found a karaoke version on YouTube..so does anyone know how to like..save it?

Since YouTube videos are in the FLV (Flash Video) format, "saving" them wouldn't do you any good anyway.

There is a website (http://vixy.net/) which not only converts your videos into more commonly used formats (Including an option for Audio-only MP3s), but allows you to download them. It's easy enough to use, and all it requires is the URL of the YouTube video you need.

You probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Or maybe you do. I don't know. If you're unsure of anything, ask a question in the Computers section.

[view]

Hi Everyone!

i have this headache.
its on the front of my head.
i took advil 20 minutes ago and it hasnt started helping yet.

im thinking it might be stress?
or dehidrating

how do i make it go away? i have a big test today. &the rest of the week

thanks!

In addition to the other advice meantioned, I find that sensory deprivation tends to help headaches. Lay down in a dark, quiet room and try not to think about your headache.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>