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Wow, Love triangle..
Okay well Right now I am Dating "Rob" but before i dated Rob. I was dating "Al". So heres the story, in Noverber i started dating Al and we hit it off and our relatioship was amazing. Then I met Rob, who was my ex-bestfriend ex-boyfriend. I knew Rob for awhile. but after they broke up we really started hangin out and he becamse my best friend. At first we were just friends but then we kissed. So i cheated on Al and i felt so bad but i never told him..i know..dumb..but yeah. Later in March i find out that he is doing things i don't agree with..smoking and drinking and things. I gave Al like 3 chances to stop and stop doing onther things, and one time i thought he was going to hit me, but i still dated him. well after Al found out through a letter, he cheated on me. So I broke up with him becsaue i found this out and we got in a huge fight. Then Rob asked me out and i said yes. I've been dating Rob for about a month but everytime i see Al. I just want to be with him and hold his hand and hug him and kiss him. Even thou he has cheated on me and scared me and everything. He really is amazing but at the same time Rob is amazng too. So my question is what should i do? Should i date Rob or Al..i knwo you can't tell my feelings. but what do you think would be best for me. Al is 15 and Rob is 16, in my grade. Al's parents hate me, robs parents love me. Rob gets money so we can do things. Al doesn't. but at the same time. i love Al.so pleeease help!
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The truest thing you said in your question is "i knwo you can't tell my feelings". You're absolutely right, we really can't. Nor can any of us make that decision without knowing your feelings. Since you're the only one that knows your feelings, it follows that this is a decision that you have to make for yourself.
However, on Al's behalf:
-Just because Al drinks/smokes does NOT mean that he will presure you into drinking or smoking.
-Just because Al drinks does NOT mean he's an alchohlic. He might be, I don't know him so I can't say.
-Choosing to date Rob because he gets money and Al doesn't is a piss-poor move. You have to be happy with the person you're with, not with what the person you're with has.
At the end of it all, my only advise to you can be to go with the guy who makes you the happiest. Be open-minded and as objective as possible.
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It seems like your better choice would be "Rob", even though it is still hard for you to let go of your attraction to "Al". Rob seems to be a "safe sider" to me, while Al is a typical "bad boy". I get that it's hard to fight your affection to Al, but you mustn't forget that he already got your heart broken, and, if you ever get back together, probably will again.
So yes, Rob is a better option, but if you aren't sure if you're happy with him or not, maybe you should take a small break, to sort through your feelings. You need to find out what is it that makes Al so attractive to you, and why your relationship with Rob are not completely satisfying, even though Rob is "amazing" AND your friend too.
Maybe what you need is some quality time to let go of old feelings and try to build something new with someone you'll be able to appreciate for his good qualities, but won't have to disregard his bad ones to feel good or safe with him.
Love, Alyssa.
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I would say stay with Rob. Al does things that could influence you in a bad way, which might be a bad thing, since you might start doing the bad things as well.
If I were you, I would ask each one if they like/love you, and why. Then you can make a choice. Don't necessarily go for the guy that is cuter or hotter, but the one that you think will make you happier. Do you think that an alcoholic will make you happy? Or someone that has the potential to be very successful and keep you happy?
But also remember this line which my friend told me: "High school is not for finding your husband. It is for finding your bridesmaids"
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