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So.. I've been feeling this constant ball in my throat. It even hurts sometimes. It's not liek I can feel it from the outside, it's just that it's hard to swallow my own saliva and it feels constantly full in there, almost like a pressure under my chin.
Also, if that's not enough, my cheeks have been killing me! A constant pain is there, mostly on my left cheek.
The doctors don't understand.. they think I'm just stressed. But I would feel much better if anyone has ever felt something like this before.. And if they did, what was it??
Honey, I haven't felt anything like that before, but even if I did, it doesn't meant that what you have would be the same.
Try seeing different doctors. Maybe you were just unlucky and you'll find a better one who will be able to determine what's wrong with your throat. Maybe, if it's just stress, you should go to psychiatrist or visit yoga classes to relieve some of that stress.
I hope things are going to look up soon.
Lyssa.
so people say i'm emo. even though i'm not. but on the other hand i have nothing against them. i just dont liketo lable myself. so yeah my hair is dark and i have a fringe, and like black eyeliner and wear green/blue/red/purple skinnys.
what is so bad about that? i mean everyone hates me, just because i'm not a hip hopper and dont drink&smoke. everyone else does but so what? i just dont want to be like them. i just dont understand why people hate me just because i'm different. no matter how nice i am, they just hate me.
i have no friends at all. i guess i was just unlucky with this school.
but what should i do?
i wont change though.
It is hard growing up in the world where people think you should be just like them. But if you have individuality, a personality strong enough that you don't need to copy anyone so they would think better of you, it isn't a bad thing, if often not an easy one. People are calling you emo, but they probably hardly understand the subtle differences of subcultures, or they would know it's not just about the physical appearance.
If you don't want to change, you shouldn't. You don't owe that to anyone. What you could try is taking your focus off those who are causing you such distress and directing it to what you love about yourself and the type of people you'd like to attract into your life.
The more you focus on what ruins your mood, the more often it would get ruined. It's just the way your thoughts and feelings affect your life. Take some time everyday to enjoy yourself - who you are, what you love and believe in, and what kind of people you think you deserve to communicate with. If you were a hero of your own book or a movie, what kind of people surrounding you would make you feel complete and happy with your life?
Ponder on that and try to minimize your contact with people you don't like, and don't give up on finding real friends, in or outside your school.
Alyssa.
Okay well Right now I am Dating "Rob" but before i dated Rob. I was dating "Al". So heres the story, in Noverber i started dating Al and we hit it off and our relatioship was amazing. Then I met Rob, who was my ex-bestfriend ex-boyfriend. I knew Rob for awhile. but after they broke up we really started hangin out and he becamse my best friend. At first we were just friends but then we kissed. So i cheated on Al and i felt so bad but i never told him..i know..dumb..but yeah. Later in March i find out that he is doing things i don't agree with..smoking and drinking and things. I gave Al like 3 chances to stop and stop doing onther things, and one time i thought he was going to hit me, but i still dated him. well after Al found out through a letter, he cheated on me. So I broke up with him becsaue i found this out and we got in a huge fight. Then Rob asked me out and i said yes. I've been dating Rob for about a month but everytime i see Al. I just want to be with him and hold his hand and hug him and kiss him. Even thou he has cheated on me and scared me and everything. He really is amazing but at the same time Rob is amazng too. So my question is what should i do? Should i date Rob or Al..i knwo you can't tell my feelings. but what do you think would be best for me. Al is 15 and Rob is 16, in my grade. Al's parents hate me, robs parents love me. Rob gets money so we can do things. Al doesn't. but at the same time. i love Al.so pleeease help!
It seems like your better choice would be "Rob", even though it is still hard for you to let go of your attraction to "Al". Rob seems to be a "safe sider" to me, while Al is a typical "bad boy". I get that it's hard to fight your affection to Al, but you mustn't forget that he already got your heart broken, and, if you ever get back together, probably will again.
So yes, Rob is a better option, but if you aren't sure if you're happy with him or not, maybe you should take a small break, to sort through your feelings. You need to find out what is it that makes Al so attractive to you, and why your relationship with Rob are not completely satisfying, even though Rob is "amazing" AND your friend too.
Maybe what you need is some quality time to let go of old feelings and try to build something new with someone you'll be able to appreciate for his good qualities, but won't have to disregard his bad ones to feel good or safe with him.
Love, Alyssa.
Well here's what I've been debating with myself for the past couple of weeks:
This girl and I briefly were seeing each other last summer. We hung out at least once a week at the end of May through the middle of August last summer. When mid august came around she decided that she was not ready for a relationship so we decided to remain friends. We still hung out, probably about once a month August through November, but still kept in touch on a weekly basis through e-mail. She even hung out with my friends and I in October. The holidays rolled around, so we really couldn't hang out. We tried to get together a
couple of times, but things didn't work out. One day at the end of February I
sent her a text and asked if she wanted to hang out and catch up. I usually get a response back, so i figured it may have not gone through. So i sent her an e-mail asking if she had received it. She replied back a couple of days later and said that she did and was just really busy with work and other things. However out of the blue in the e-mail she also said "I don't
want to be anything more than friends" and ended the e-mail by saying that she
was going to hang out downtown in a couple of weeks and that i could join her and her friends of i wanted to. This really confused me since we already had this conversation back in August, so i replied back and told her that I wasn't looking for anything more than friends and i am sorry if i came off that way. She than responded back: "now that I am confident that we're friends, we should catch up, i didn't want to lead you on by texting you back or hanging out with you, we should catch up" I responded by telling her i didn't think that she was leading me on, and that the next time there's an issue that she should call me so we can talk it out. I haven't received a response since and this was at the end of February.
Now she did come off as a little vain, which surprised me. She's actually a
really sweet girl. The debate I've been having is whether or not to shoot her an e-mail and invite her to grab food, so we can talk or should i just
consider this a loss and move on? If i should e-mail, what should i say?
Thanks
Perhaps you did come off a little pushy, or at least she got that impression. It's apparent that she wants nothing more than friendship with you, and maybe she didn't believe you entirely when you said you agree with being just friends. It really depends on your true feelings for her, because when you are attracted to a girl, you're giving off a sort of a vibe. If a girl picks up on it and doesn't respond in a positive way, she often tries to avoid you, using all sorts of excuses.
Now you didn't really tell me how you feel about her, but it's obvious that you want to spend more time with her for one reason or another. It also seems that you're always the one who initiates most of the contact, so she must be on the avoidy side if she's rarely the one who tries to start anything with you. Something must sit unwell in your relationship, because you are definitely not on the same page.
She tells you that you're okay and can be friends, yet repeatedly avoids answering your letters. At the same time, you're trying to get in touch with her, even though it's obvious that she wants to hang out with you only on occasion or just to "catch up".
Perhaps some big misunderstanding is the reason for you guys not being able to sort your issues out. 'Cause, trust me, if one of you is clueless as to why your relationship is the way it is (strange or confusing), misunderstanding must be involved, on one or both sides.
Maybe, when you offered her to call you and have a serious talk every time there's an issue, it struck her as something too serious; maybe she doesn't believe you when you tell her you want to be just friends; or maybe she's got a boyfriend now, and he's not happy with you two being chummy and going out somewhere. In any case, you are clueless as to why she cut the communication chord, and whether you want to go there and find out is up to you.
If you still care about her (which you obviously do), you might consider contacting her either by email (but there's a risk of it going unanswered), or with a phone call. Either way, try to keep it light. You could tell her that you just realized that it's been quite a while since you were in touch, and since she didn't answer your last email, you were wondering if everything's all right.
If you want to invite her to go out with you somewhere, you better pick a place with an atmosphere that you know she finds comfortable. If you have any common friends, you could ask if she'd like to join you all to go somewhere.
Or you could do a small test.
Ask her if she'd like to go with you somewhere to grab some food, or would rather hang out in a mixed company (just please, use other wording) with people you both know and like. If she says that she'd prefer to go out when there's a small crowd around you two, I think it would be a strong indication that she is not entirely comfortable with you.
In any case, good luck.
Lyss.
I run a hacker culture blog (bsdpunk.blogspot.net), and often I get requests from people on how to use a keylogger on their computer or to view their Instant Messaging traffic. Typically my first question after receiving these are "Why don't you try talking to her?", because they are usually heartbroken 16 year olds(if that), but then I help them out anyway? Is this a bad thing? Should I not help? I am one confused punk.
Okay, first of all I have to say I'm greatly flattered that you're asking me for advice. You really don't seem to be a heartbroken 16 years old to me...
I'm not exactly a "pro" on hacker culture, but I viewed your blog, which is very nice by the way (so techno-goth), and I found there about four posts on keylogging. Helping is really not a bad thing, but you can't say that you're not helping people, whether you answer their additional requests or not. But if you want to help as much as you can, you could create a sort of a FAQ or Help forum for your blog (that is, if you don't already have one), where, if you answer a question for one person, you won't have to repeat it to another. Also, if you can manage to drag a few buddies on your forum and make them admins, you won't have to deal with all the noobs on your own.
Or you could just make a regular FAQ and put it on your blog, where all the questions and answers from newbies are listed and already answered. In any case, you could always direct them to Google. But if you'd like to keep your audience yours, you might consider not sending them off to anywhere else, so they would keep on returning to your blog frequently.
That's my humble opinion. :)
Lyss.
P.S. By the way, if you feel uncomfortable with helping underage kids with hacking, you could try telling them to solve their problems some other way. But I think you and I both know that if they're really got their minds set on something, they'll just go somewhere else. So it's up to you whether you'd like to keep them as they are on your blog, or let them roam freely through the web.
I am 25 years old and i want to know if my husband raped my sister or someelse
I'm sorry, but I cannot give you advice if I have no idea what this is about. Why do you suspect your husband of doing such a thing? Did he ever rape anyone before? What does your sister say about all this? Unfortunately, I can't give you any real help if I don't know what's going on, or why you believe your husband raped someone.
About your sister... If a woman claims she had been raped, there are ways to prove it, only you have to act fast. If the incident took place, and a woman contacted the authorities, or went to seek medical assistance after it happened, it is possible to prove that crime had occurred, and the identity of a person responsible.
Here's what I found on that topic:
"It is very important that rape victims seek emergency medical attention as soon as possible after their rape occurs. Rape victims should not wash or douche or in any way clean themselves after a rape has occurred and before they have had medical attention. This is because the rape victim's body is a crime scene which is likely to contain samples of the rapist's body fluids. In many cases, doctors can recover samples of these fluids which can later be used against the rapist in a court of law."
Maybe this information helped you a little, and if not, you can also try to get some counseling on the "outside", or the real world, so to speak.
i have a problem about always wanting to be like hannah montana and just other girls (ive always) could you help me to want to be me and not anyone else
People often want to be like somebody else. Especially girls. Especially teenage girls. I used to want to be like my girlfriends when I was a kid, but I think that's only because I didn't know who I really was, and wanted to be like someone I knew and liked. If you have a lot of fears, it is hard to like yourself. It's hard to want to be yourself if you are the one people are making fun of, or treating not too kindly.
To like yourself, you've got to be yourself, and for that you have to be self-realized. Maybe you have some dreams to achieve, or fears that need facing. My advice is to start there. Today you may be a girl who doesn't know who she is; who's got some problems she doesn't know how to deal with, and dreams that's hard to manifest. Maybe you don't really like that girl, but if you give it some effort... hell, if you give it your all, tomorrow you can be the girl who has put her 'big girl' panties on and faced her fears and all the nasties, because that's how you're finding out the good stuff about yourself. That's the part where you become who you want to be.
By doing something you were afraid you don't have enough strength to do, you're setting free the parts of you that were held prisoners by your hesitance or shyness. Somebody once said, "What you get by reaching your destination is not as important as what you become by reaching it." Maybe right now you're not the girl you dream to be, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a part of that girl's journey.
- Lyssa
my son recently committed suicide he was 37 , he hung himself my question i just want to be sure he is at peace and is happy i know he is with God
I'm deeply sorry for your loss. My mother tried to kill herself the same way once, when I was 15. Then I thought that maybe I could've done something to prevent her from sinking into such a deep depression, but I guess everyone choose for themselves. We can be there, try to make things better, but every person is responsible for himself, and we all try as hard as we can.
I don't know much about Theology, or where we go after we die, but I do believe in evolution of soul and spirit. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. I know that people die every day, but somehow I can't accept the fact that a life could die. Dying life just seems to be an impossible idea for me. Some people try to communicate with the dead using Ouija boards, and maybe they can connect to the certain energies of a person, but I, personally, think that it is not the soul they talk to.
Wherever people go after they die, must be greater that what we think of Heaven, greater than what we imagine. I don't believe in hell, but I do believe that our suffering about the ones, who passed away, could make it harder for them to obtain peace, and if you wish to have a comforting thought, that your son is happy, wherever he is right now, I think you should let yourself experience some peace too. You deserve it, and if you wish, you can pray for your son, let him know that you're okay, and send your love to him.
Let yourself feel comfort from knowing that your peace and happiness will also add to the peace and happiness of those who loved you, but are gone for the moment.
Lyssa
my girlfriend broke up with me and I am so broken hearted and I want her back what can I do?
I guess a person is not something you can have back on demand. I don't know your situation (or your age for that matter), but relationships are not always about love, romance, and flowers. Sometimes they're about breaking up, breaking hearts, and feeling lost when things go wrong. Maybe it was love between you and your girlfriend, or maybe it wasn't. Only you know how you feel about her, and only she knows how she feels about you. Maybe you should go through your feelings and emotions to understand if you really love her or not. Give her time to do the same. But if she cannot return your love, I think you should better try to heal your wounds, and let yourself accept the possibility of loving someone else; someone who'll return your love and help you to be happy again.
I wish you to let yourself be happy.
P.S. Sorry for the late response.
where to start? I come to you because im desperate, im seeking spiritual advice or healing. I'm not equipped to deal with this evil, i feel thats present with us. I grew up in the church and my faith is strong. my son opened his mind to satanic beliefs awhile ago, and since then he has been plagued with difficulties. he has tried to attempt suicide on several different occasions, he does not believe in god, when i tried to quote the bible to him he did the satanic bible. He wears black clothes, makes homemade tatoos of satanic symbles, he listens to this music that is so full of hate and violence. I'm becoming more afraid of him by the day, he doesnt speaks to me unless he wants something, experimented with drugs of all types. Its like a different person living here and i dont recognized him im afraid for myself and my younger son.And throughout all of this I still love him, i know God can fixed this. Please what do you have me do ?
I'm afraid that I am not the best person to give advice on this subject because I have no children, so it's really hard for me to imagine what you're going through right now. I don't know what made your son become a satanist. Maybe it's a sort of protest, but if he tried to commit suicide and makes you fear for your and your other son's safety, you have to collect all your will, wisdom, and strength, and start acting according to the situation. You probably can't do it on your own, so you need help as well as your son does. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance of professionals as you weren't afraid to ask for advice. There are people who are used to dealing with this sort of problems, and you need to get your son a real physical and active help. The fact that he is into satanism probably doesn't mean anything, because it has nothing to do with religion. What he does to himself is not about worshiping some evil entity; it's about pain and self-destruction.
You probably will never save him by reading him the quotes from Bible, especially if he doesn't (or claims that he doesn't) believe in Christian God. And the thing is, he doesn't have to believe. Whether you believe in something or not, it doesn't change the fact of its existence or non-existence. Maybe you should try to help your son to quit drugs, give him all the love that he is ready to accept, but do it as unconditionally as you can. Don't try to force him to accept any religion. Let him know that there are hundreds to choose from, and that you will accept him no matter which one he chooses, because even now, when he acts this way and you barely recognize him, you still can't stop loving him. Right now your son may be all entangled in anger and hate, and the music he listens to simply reflects his emotional state. You also must understand that there is nothing sweet about feeling all this, because a person in this condition cannot be happy. Maybe that's the problem. But it doesn't have to be this way forever. If you can change his dominant thought, his dominant vibration, slowly, he may become more open to the bigger changes in his life.
I wish I could give you a better advice, something that would instantly make it better, but I can't. It's all up to you. I personally don't believe in devil, nor do I prefer any religion above all others. For me everything that is... well, *is* a part of God, because thinking that there is anything outside seems to be silly to me. But it does not matter if you share my point of view or not, because it's just me and I'm okay with it. Faith is a privae thing, and if your son tries to prove to the whole world that he is a satanist, he probably finds it hard to prove it to himself. He hardly understands what he's really doing, and what would be the consequences. He does that not because he is bad, or under the influence of evil. He simply cannot see the big picture. Maybe you can't see it either, and the two of you are staring at the different bits of the same puzzle. You are Christian and your son considers himself a satanist. Communicating may be hard, but to help him you will have to find a way to reach out and connect. As I already said, I cannot give you a professional help on this topic, but I am sure that there are people who are capable of giving it to you, and you should not hesitate to go and ask for it. Believe that there is a way to make it better, even if you didn't find it yet.
I wish you to have faith in yourself and don't give up on your son.
Im 15, and used to have ovaric cysts all the time, untill two ruptured and i was put on birth control. I havent really been sexually active, ive only been fingered three times, and that was like a year ago almost.. well anyways, I always get horrible pressure and stabbing pains on both my right and left side of my stomach area... it hurts so bad it makes me feel naseuous. and back when i got fingered, it hurt so incredibly bad... I've been recently for the past 3-4 months always exhausted with low fatigue, and i cant always think straight. I always have headaches, or diariah ish sometimes a lil constipation..
I was wondering if anyone would know if they ever once had one of the three cancers, or if they just know a lot of information, that if its highly possibly that all these symptoms i have could be cancer? thankss
You obviously should visit a good doctor, just to understand what is really going on with you. Most likely, doctor will help you to improve your health condition, and will explain what you have to do to avoid such problems in the future. Anyway, you are very young, and it is better to take care of your body now then suffer later even more.
If you like, visit this website to learn some simple techniques that could help you to relieve your pain. >> http://www.mediks-bg.com/
But still, don't forget to go to doctor!
Take care,
Lyssa.
My sister has loads of anger problems and for the past six years she has caused a lot of tension in our family. During this time I've always been the 'good one' but recently my Dad has been taking things out on me more and more. I admit that I'm not always as well behaved as I should be, but it's not like I'm worse than any other average teen. Now even when I haven't done anything wrong my Dad will be unreasonable and start shouting and swearing. I always try and be mature and walk away from the situation then come back and talk things through calmly later but 9 times out of 10 he will refuse to admit that he has been wrong and usually he won't even listen to what I have to say.
I know that he's under a lot of stress from work and my sister which has also put his relationship with my Mum has been put under strain but I'm finding it increasingly hard to deal with it. It's got to the point where I'll say something completely politely and innocently and he'll start yelling and cause a huge family argument for no reason.
What can I do? I've tried talking to him, my Mum and my sister many times but it makes no difference. We've also completed several sessions with a family counciller but that only made things worse.
Your situation isn't simple, so giving advice here also wouldn't be that easy for me. I think that right now, everybody in your family are too concerned with their own problems and pain. Apparently, your father cannot control his anger, and maybe he was storing it for a long time already in a form of stress. So now, all this is pouring out on you. He obviously don't understand that if he will keep it up, he may lose you, because you will not have to "live under his roof" forever.
As tempting as walking away could be, sooner or later, you will have to face your fears. After all, fear is nothing more than a thought of something you really don't want, and experiencing it only inches you closer to what you're trying to escape. If you want things to change, you have to face truth first, and then, work with what you've got. Maybe, for a start you should admit to your father how you feel, and that you cannot tolerate it anymore. If he still considers you a part of his family, he should treat you like a family. You are under a lot of stress too, but you don't make other people suffer for that. You can also ask for support from the outside. If the rest of your family aren't happy about going to the councilor, then you can request to have someone who will help and give advice to you personally.
If you will want to discuss this situation further, or if you need anything, just send me an email.
Is it possible to be raped by:
Same person
Same group of people
Person from the group that raped you
More than once, twice, or even multiple times?
Is it common or rare? Especially for teens in 10th grade to 12th grade?
Yes, it is possible and happens. A person, or a group of people can commit this crime toward a teen girl (although, it doesn't have to be a girl), and, using shame, blackmail, or threats to keep her from telling anyone about it, repeat the crime. If the rapist is over 18, he has all the chances to go to jail.
My best friend and I had the biggest fight we've ever had. She has a new boyfriend. I don't like him. So she's mad at me for "spoiling her happiness". Should I apologize to her, or wait for her to apologize???
I love her a lot. way more than is normal. I tend to get really attached. Help?
(Hi. I have edited my answer in the end, so I hope you don't mind.)
Spoiling anyone's happiness is initially a bad idea. Maybe you don't see why your friend likes this guy, but you will not understand it unless you'll look at him from her perspective, which may be not quite easy for you. Still, I don't think that jealousy is worth losing your best friend. You both might do a little apologizing, and it wouldn't kill you to start first. It's really silly to think that you are losing something, if you're the one who throws out the white flag. You will win if you'll make up with your friend, and make her understand that you respect her choices.
If you tend to get attached to people, maybe you should spend a little time alone, so you could become more familiar with the cause of your feelings towards other people. It could be useful to start realizing the difference between your desires and needs. You can't create a successful life, if it is based on weaknesses and attachment. It's a good thing that you have people to love, but don't forget that some of them may want to get more space to go on with their lives. If you want to make your own decisions, and do what your heart tells you to do, it is better to live a life of freedom and independency. You would hardly like to experience how it feels when someone's feelings and emotions always depend on you. So, if you care for your friend, let her be. I'm pretty sure that some day you might need her to do the same thing for you.
In your feedback you replied:
"I'm sorry, but I did make up with her, but SHE apologized first. I didn't really do ANYTHING worthy of her being such a bitch about it, and she understood that. Thanks for the advice, but its too late really. Also, I KNOW why I get attached. I love people very easily. I have the hugest capability to love, and the more people I have to love, the more there is to go around. Thanks for your advice, but I'm independent without being alone. I'm independent because I know that I have people who support me NO MATTER WHAT."
I am glad that you worked it out with your friend, although, you didn't mention that *she* acted like a bitch, and that it was a cause of a fight (lol). Anyway, I don't really know what is happening between two of you right now, but I hope her new boyfriend won't make you to go into the fights with each other. Just try to be more patient when it comes to him, especially since you know now how she may react if you'll tell her that you're still not happy about their relationship. But I wouldn't worry about that too much, since school boyfriends come and go, but real friendship usually lasts even after the school is over.
Oh, by the way, when I said that it is better to live a life freely and independently, I didn't meant without love; I meant without attachment. Like, when you feel gratitude for someone being a part of your life, but not a need, because feelings of need and gratitude are of a different vibration, and make totally different things occur in your life. Gratitude is an asking for more, and need is fear that you're going to lose it. That's why I think that it is more important to focus on the good that you have, than waste your energy on the fights that would eventually lead to another apology.
Well, that's pretty much all I wanted to say. Hope you and your friend will be getting along well.
Regards,
Lyssa.
...But I don't know what to do. When I see a girl kissing a guy, I get seriously turned off...But when I see a girl kissing a girl or something...it seems right to me. I sometimes get aroused by the latter. This is very strange...and I have no idea how it came about. The thing is - sometimes I like guys too! When they kiss a girl, or when a guy talks to me. I have NO idea what's going on. I might be bisexual, or I might be a full lesbian. No idea what's going on with me...I sometimes have thoughts and weird lesbian dreams. o_o...sometimes it scares me. I haven't told anyone. But there are certain clues...In school, sometimes when a girl passes by, or something...like a PRETTY girl...I for some reason (without even REALIZING) tend to stare at her for a while (Like, "check her out")...and it seems VERY weird. I don't even realize what's going on - and then my friends have to tell me that I'm going to be late to class. I just find girls SO pretty. I don't know...I myself am a VERY girly person. (I'm 15/f). This is very foreign to me...lol. :(...is it too young of an age? And what exactly is happening?
You may like both, girls and boys, and there is nothing wrong about it. Right now, it could be a difficult situation since you're in school, but when you'll get older, it won't be so much of a problem to you. You will be more aware of the fact that you have a right to choose your sexuality, since you're the one who lives your life. For now, maybe it's better to explore the nature of your attraction to both, girls and boys. If you like a girl, you may ponder for a while on what it is that attracts you to her. It could be a physical aspect, or maybe something deeper? If you find yourself drawn to a boy, again, ask yourself, what is it that made you turn to him.
Some girls find female body as beautiful as the male body, or, for that matter, even more beautiful. You may like girls in their physical form, but it doesn't mean that you would like to have a romantic relationship with any of them. Besides, when you will really fall in love, you'll realize that looks are not as important as personality. Beauty can capture your attention, but what happens after that is a totally different story. Beauty may be a plus, but when you already love someone, you are attracted to the person because of who he or she is, and you'd be surprised how big of a turn-on could be that simple knowledge of who it is touching you.
Lately, I kinda have been wanting a thong or like something pretty much like it. Just the thing is im kinda too embarrassed to get one. and if my parents ever saw it (mostly my dad) would like make jokes about it or pick on me about it (really embarrassing). anther thing is if i were to get one, id prob. want it from a&e or victoria secrets or something but im like really small. for my pants im a 14 slim (thats in abercrombie) && in pac sun im a 00.i dont know if victoria secrets would fit me or what. and then even if they did i find it embarressing just to go shopping for underwear/thongs!
I can't really help you with the size, so I guess you will have to see for yourself if a thing fits you or not. In any way, don't feel embarrassed buying underwear. You have to wear something after all! Why should anyone care if you choose thongs over something else? About your parents... well, I can only advice them to grow up. Making jokes about your kid when she'd like to be supported is really immature. God! Don't you just hate when they do that?! Anyway, yes, V.S. rocks, so maybe for a start you should tell your parents that you need some other clothes from there, and only then go to realization of your true intention.
Here's couple of examples of what you can do:
In Example #1, you say that it's sleepwear that you need.
"I picked a great top and pajama pants, so maybe I should select some underwear that would go with them? Ooh, there's some pretty panties! Although they're thongs... Hmm, to buy, or not to buy?.. Well, the colors are just perfect, so... fine! I guess, I'll have to wear thongs then. At least in the summer it would feel less hot, right?"
In Example #2, you could be buying really tight jeans, pants, or a skirt, in which any regular underwear would be visibly outlined.
"Dad, do you want everyone to see what kind of underwear is on me?! For Gods sake, it's private!"
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Okay, I know that my advice was in a half-joking manner, but still, I hope I helped a little.
ive been wearing a ton of mascara lately. i dont feel pretty without it. but now ive noticed my eyelashes are thinner and WAY shorter. no matter how much mascara I wear it seems like they just fell out.
is this possible? how do I get my long pretty eyelashes back?!
Yep, they do fell out from too much of mascara. Stop it. Break the habit (lol). Did you know that you can use a special paint for eyelashes, that, once applied, stays for weeks? You cover your eyelashes with it, wait some minutes, and wash it off. Then you can walk around without any mascara for at least two weeks. Some people also cut their eyelashes at the tips (just a little bit), so they would grow faster, and look more lush after that. You can also ask for some oil that helps them grow faster in a pharamacy.
If you wish, visit this page for more information on the topic>> http://www.blogforbeauty.com/vaseline-does-make-eyelashes-grow/
Im starting to feel very self concious around people now. Im starting to think that everyone is thinking im ugly and I get really nervous around people now. Before I wasn't so self concious and I dont know why im like this. Last year I just changed and I dont know how. Is this just a phase?
Okay, I don't know if it's just a phase, identity crisis, or a part of your personal growth, but here is a couple of important things you need to remember if you feel that way.
First of all, you are NOT ugly! I don't care how you look, but don't ever think that way about yourself, or you will attract more of these thoughts and feelings, which can be quite destructive. The second important thing is that everybody are too concerned about themselves to notice others' flaws, and, as a self-conscious person, you probably know it very well. Right now it may seem to you that the looks are very important, but it is not completely true. Take for example some not very attractive, but pretty famous actor, which has a lot of different roles he plays very well. He or she may have a role of a looser, someone really boring, or mean, and you really hate seeing that actor on the screen. But then you see that person playing a totally different role in a great TV show that you like, where he or she is very strong, funny, witty, and charismatic. Now, when you see that person, you notice that you associate totally different (positive) feelings and emotions with him/her, because the character you fell in love with made you see him or her in a totally different light.
It's pretty much the same in the real life. If you feel unpretty, insecure, and scared in communication with people, they're going to sense it, because your behavior, your walk, the expression on your face, and the look in your eyes, just wouldn't let you hide your insecurity. But (!) the good thing is that you can change the role that you play in front of other people. In any case, you are not sharing with others everything you have in you. There are some parts you want to hide, or show only to the ones you trust the most. But there are also the parts of your nature that you want to discover, explore, and show to everyone. Maybe it's your wisdom, or courage, or something else that makes you special in your own eyes, but in any way you should learn to be proud of who you are. Allow your looks support your personality, but don't let them become more important than who you really are. Learn to feel self-confident and strong, whether you're alone or with someone. Choose who you want to be, and be it!
I don't understand this...I'm already in the 9th grade...and ALL of my friends have boyfriends! What do guys look for in a girl? Because, to me, it looks like I don't have it. I'm NOT a pushover, I don't dress slutty, and I'm not flirty. Let's also say that "I'm not easy to "get to"". I don't know. I'm a VERY good student....and I get good grades....but this seems like somewhat of a turn off for guys. And those guys that are nerdy (but cute) too, still don't PAY attention to me! It's like I'm invisible...It's just not fair. ;_;
Maybe you act or feel a little older than people of your age, and because of that it may be slightly difficult for you to find a boyfriend in your school. I, personally, didn't have a boyfriend when I was a teen, because I didn't feel like the guys of my age were right for me, so I didn't even like anyone then. You said that boys don't pay you much attention, but you didn't say if you even like any of them. You know why romantic relationships that started in school come to an end after graduation? Because when you're in school, you are surrounded by people who are simply there. You don't choose your surrounding until you start your own, adult life.
People, teens in our case, get together because even if you're really young and might know very little about love, you still want someone by your side. If you don't have a boyfriend yet, don't get upset. It is not easy to find someone who will understand you and give you the attention you need. Even if ALL of your friends have boyfriends, it doesn't mean that they feel love for them, or being loved for that matter. A lot of girls live from crush to crush, but if you are not one of them, it could simply mean that in your heart you are waiting for true love to begin. It could take time, but some things are just worth waiting. As it was said in one famous song lyrics, "listen to your heart". You definitely deserve something better than just a come-and-go school crush, if you feel that it is not for you.
okay well i really like this guy. lets call him "Fred", hah anywayss. hes always flirting with me but when i asked him out today. he said no. i thought i acctually had a chance becuase we;ve gone out before in october. please help =[
Well, "no" means "no". If he doesn't want to go out with you, than maybe you should think of giving your attention to other boys. Try to figure out what it is that attracts you to him, and why do you think he is right for you. Maybe if he doesn't like you in "that" way, you can find the qualities you are most attracted to in someone who will feel "that" way about you after all?