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Spiteful Dad
My sister has loads of anger problems and for the past six years she has caused a lot of tension in our family. During this time I've always been the 'good one' but recently my Dad has been taking things out on me more and more. I admit that I'm not always as well behaved as I should be, but it's not like I'm worse than any other average teen. Now even when I haven't done anything wrong my Dad will be unreasonable and start shouting and swearing. I always try and be mature and walk away from the situation then come back and talk things through calmly later but 9 times out of 10 he will refuse to admit that he has been wrong and usually he won't even listen to what I have to say.
I know that he's under a lot of stress from work and my sister which has also put his relationship with my Mum has been put under strain but I'm finding it increasingly hard to deal with it. It's got to the point where I'll say something completely politely and innocently and he'll start yelling and cause a huge family argument for no reason.
What can I do? I've tried talking to him, my Mum and my sister many times but it makes no difference. We've also completed several sessions with a family counciller but that only made things worse.
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Hey. It does sound like your dad is under a lot of stress right now but you must be in a lot of mental pain right now. It sounds like you need help from another source that you know. Someone older who knows your family and can really help you. Maybe because you're always the "yes man" they feel that it's ok to say whatever to you now which is not good as you know. I would have another sit down talk with them but be stern (not mean of course) and they'll be able to take you seriously. Not that they don't now but they know you'll always agree. They're your family and eventually they will be understanding once the tension dies down. I really hope I helped and good luck! =)
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Your dad sounds extramly unreasonable. In this situation all you can do really is maybe when he gets angry like that don't say anything,let him yell, let him scream, and after he has cooled down don't mention anything. Don't do things that you know might set him off 'although it doesn't sound like you have been' And if he starts getting physicly abusive towards anyone in your family inform someone who can help you with this. And if you have any other problems just ask me and I will atemplt to help
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you should not be so harsh in your rating
we are trying to help you
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well. it seems to me that he's almost trying to show you whos the boss in a way. and trying to keep you from being like yur sis. just try to ignor him while hes yellling. or record it once. like how you talk + how he yells for it. then play it back to him , maybe tht will help!
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Your situation isn't simple, so giving advice here also wouldn't be that easy for me. I think that right now, everybody in your family are too concerned with their own problems and pain. Apparently, your father cannot control his anger, and maybe he was storing it for a long time already in a form of stress. So now, all this is pouring out on you. He obviously don't understand that if he will keep it up, he may lose you, because you will not have to "live under his roof" forever.
As tempting as walking away could be, sooner or later, you will have to face your fears. After all, fear is nothing more than a thought of something you really don't want, and experiencing it only inches you closer to what you're trying to escape. If you want things to change, you have to face truth first, and then, work with what you've got. Maybe, for a start you should admit to your father how you feel, and that you cannot tolerate it anymore. If he still considers you a part of his family, he should treat you like a family. You are under a lot of stress too, but you don't make other people suffer for that. You can also ask for support from the outside. If the rest of your family aren't happy about going to the councilor, then you can request to have someone who will help and give advice to you personally.
If you will want to discuss this situation further, or if you need anything, just send me an email.
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