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Transition from conversation to sexy time
I have invited another woman to have sex with my husband while I watch. She and I have meet and I like her, she is just the type I wanted for this experience.
She and my husband have not meet and won't until the night of the event. She is coming to our home where we will enjoy drinks and conversation first.
I'm looking for ideas on how to make the transition between conversation and sexy time smooth and less awkward. She and I have talked about bondage and restraint being part of the evening.
Ideas? Suggestions?
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Well the only thing I can think of is if you make the first move but don't do it so obviously and roughly. Be nice and gentle about it. Try not to force the issue either. Hope this helps.
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I'm assuming that although they have never met, your husband is fully aware of the invitation and the projected outcome? You're not producing the woman without having disclosed the purpose, as a complete surprise to him? Of course, if that was the case then I should think it would be very difficult, however diplomatic and convincing your conversational/social skills, to do it smoothly! I assume your husband is OK with the bondage/restraint aspect, at least in theory. Or you're at least very sure he'll be 'up for it' as you might say. And not thrown way out of his comfort zone. The 'drinks and conversation' start should really be your touchstone on how to continue. It's important that you hit it off on a social level if you plan to be this intimate, naturally. You seem to be the 'team-leader' as you might say, (rather similar to business conferences/meetings?)so adopt a similar approach? Listen carefully and watch how he interracts with her. You'll want to do your best to put them at their ease, and stay calm and relaxed yourself. It's a good idea not to push the subject too soon, let the meeting unwind naturally. Quite often a natural 'point' tends to occur, when it feels correct to push through the idea and get down to details, which again, you're probably best placed to do. So, spot that point. You'll want to discuss personal preferences, and limits and boundaries, in advance. That will help stop any embarrassing moments later. You don't want anyone suddenly interrupting the flow by saying "Hold on...that's not for me." Or something similar. Chatting about the action will normally start all parties becoming aroused. It's the 'anticipation' thing, and that's always very sexy! I'd certainly suggest you all 'flirt' a bit, compliment each other, sexy comments, be a bit playful (toching and kissing). I can see what you mean. You're not too happy about saying, in effect, "Everyone ready...let's go and do it then?" It is expecting people to perform on-demand a bit, I know. So I'd suggest, good old-fashioned suggestive comments, flirting and touchy-feely stuff. And let the situation progress naturally. It's a controlled situation, which you're all agreed on, so flirting isn't a threat or challenge to your relationship, is it? You wouldn't want your husband saying 'You look great...you're getting me so horny" or something to a woman at random, but here it's got your full consent and you can safely encourage it. The usual 'rules' don't apply, so relax and let go! Flirt verbally and physically. Show-off a bit, ladies? Flatter him and encourage him? Also, remember that 'relaxed' (which is a good thing here) does NOT mean drunk as a skunk/hammered(possibly a disaster!)So keep yourself and the others sensible with the drinks and within reason. It will definitely progress to the next stage quite naturally, I'm certain. With no defined 'start time'. Hope my answer helps. And I hope you all have lots of fun!
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Hey I just 14 I don't think I the right person to ask this I know about sex alot about it I just don't know about this. I'm sorry. Think you should just bring up sex and it will happen. I don't know how to put it I sorry ask someone else.
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seriously...
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As a man, I don't think there needs to be any kind of smooth transition. That's more of a woman thing. After a few drinks, it'll be easy. So if you're asking this for her, then ask yourself what would YOU like personally. Maybe you and your man can kinda start making out and groping and whatnot, then ask her to join you. I think you're overthinking this and its causing some degree of anxiety for you. Trying too hard or overthinking may just make things worse. The other woman already agreed to this. The drinks will help ease tensions or awkwardness once you're there. Don't trip, have fun.
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Hello! Thank you for your question!
It really shouldn't be that awkward if you are all consenting and know what's going on. Having a plan may make things more awkward in the long run. My advice would be to keep things light and address any concerns beforehand. If she seems uneasy at all, just ask her what she is concerned about and try to ease her anxiety by adjusting your plans for the evening. I hope the best!
Thank you for your question and feel free to message me if you need any further advice!
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Not sure I'd just go straight into tying this woman up. If I was her - no freaking way.
How about for this first time she and your hubby tie you up?
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Dear Mrs. Adventure,
You going into a realm that others don't dare to go to/ But if you are going to take that journey than if anything understand that this will have to be an experience that you ALL enjoy. Think of things that would get you and your husband in the mood and have that set up but also speak the woman that you are choosing and find out her likes and wants and utilize it in the picture. While others would never do that if you are going to them set things up that regularly get you two in the mood along with her wants and make it an adventure for all of you. How you do so will only determine the passion you bring to it.
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First of all, is this something you really wanna do? because the IDEA of this and then actually WATCHING it happen are two very different things. Things that could damage someone forever if you arent sure about it and neither is he.
They should meet at least, you COULD also be putting him in a very awkward position should he say no and/or change his mind if he doesnt have the heart to do it (for whatever reason).
I hope youve thought about the after effects something like this could have on a marriage...
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You do not mention whether you have discussed this with your husband or not...sooo I have to assume that you have discussed this scenario with him and he is agreeable to it. I really don't suggest surprising him with this unless you know for a fact that he is open to it. If you bring it up after your friend arrives and he gets upset(with my knowledge of men I don't EVER see this happening) but...in the unlikely event that he does it would be very awkward! If he is aware then I would invite your friend for dinner and drinks(perhaps a bondage movie afterwards)which would set the mood and allow them to warm up to each other. It is important that your husband is happy with your choice as well. Again you do not mention that he was involved in the process of choosing someone...It almost sounds like you are planning a surprise party here and I really don't think I would recommend that unless he requested it. I think both parties need to be involved from start to finish. If bondage is not already part of your sexual repertoire with your husband I think you need to discuss that as well. Without more info this the best advice I can offer: Just make sure everyone is on the same page!
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Well candlelight and music usually helps put people in the mood I guess try them. Cracking sexual jokes is another way to do that. U can try to start getting sexual with the other female to get him turned on. Be sure that your husband is going to understand what it is that is going on because you don't want to risk something bad happening. I hope this helps even a little bit sorry I couldn't be more help good luck
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I could only discourage you from doing this. Can't help but feel you will regret it later on. So many "what if's " come to mind.
Good luck
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Maybe you should ask her about what she would like to do. Or maybe ask your husband. You don't have to tell him what you're doing, but in a hypothetical way.
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It sounds like you all have put in the time for self education, mental and emotional preparation by participation in pertinent news groups. A good meal never hurts.
To make sure that arousal and curiosity will overwhelm any lurking jealousy, remember that in this very private sex show, all just for you, scrutiny up close and personal, not just watching in passive longing and frustration, but actually touching two other people even while they are heavy at it, is actively encouraged. Bring flashlights, magnifying glasses and a feather duster.
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I like the ideas you were given already so I dont have more there but I do have something else related to the subject to say.
I've got a background in the swing world so I have questions for you. You don't need to answer me, just decide based on what you'd answer, what to do.
Theres a piece of information missing...a vital one when it comes to bringing in a new sex partner for the first time, even if only for one time.
You say you invited, you met her, and you approve of her for the experience. The thing you did not say is whether both you and husband have discussed this beforehand, he's all for it and left it to you to set up or whether this is all a surprise and he has no clue you are doing this for him.
You dont mention age either. I will state that few from 20 to mid 30s ever did this or lasted long as it takes a great level of maturity in the person as well as in their relationship to be able to handle this and also, many are in child bearing years so often the wives or girlfriends didn't want to take a chance of accidently geting pregnant by another guy if only condoms were used.
Lets says its a surprise, maybe he's highly sexual with you, high libido so you're sure he can handle and get it up for another woman. Maybe he likes watching porn too so you're sure it will be a treat for him. Here's what can go wrong, just so you aren't disappointed if it doesnt work out.
Yes, some guys can have sex with just about any woman regardless if they feel attraction or not...thats often the case for younger men. However, in the club I attended, even though men were willing, the majority were late 30's thru 60s and it was mostly couples who'd been married a good length of time. Sooo, the husband was subconsciously tuned more to his wife and either could not get hard for another...a few had this problem. But half of the rest of them had trouble staying hard and it wasn't due to a medical reason for erectile dysfunction. My ex when it was our first time with a new woman, could not get it up. Swing partners of mine went limp several times when with me and their wives noticed and asked to have a moment to help "fluff him up" again...giving him oral sex or just the touch of her hand for a bit for him to respond. So be prepared to do so in case this happens for you. The conscious mind may be willing but the subconscious mind is so used to responding to you out of his love for you after so many years that it often takes some time before he can mentally adjust so everything works right.
Another is his personal chemistry with the woman. Though she may be attractive and have a nice personality, even the handsomest or prettiest can still be a turn off for some. Let me explain. The pheremone thing is a big part of this. We all have our own scent and taste. It becomes evident to a potential partner and those who have very close or similar scents are going to be the most attracted to and desirous of wanting to have sex with another. Here's how it can go wrong. On many an occasion, I found in just kissing, before clothes came off, that I couldn't stand the scent of his breath or the taste of his mouth or saliva. That should have been a warning sign. People sweat too, even while having sex, and if the scent of his normal body odor with clothes on made my nose cringe and I really didn't like it, that should be a warning too. Then when it came time to go down on a guy with whom I'd already not liked the scent of in other ways, when I got my face to where his musk scent was strongest, my stomach lurched and I thought I would gag and throw up just from the smell. He was clean, it was just that his natural scent was too different from mine that it smelled bad. A person will only smell good, even if really sweaty after a workout if the other has a similar body scent. Yes, a person can force themselves to go through with it, but it wont be a very fond memory and they may not wish to try again due to the experience.
Lastly, even though you may feel you can handle watching and in fantasizing about it, you get turned on, your subconscious mind again may feel differently knowing that before wasn't as threatening and this time is for real. What causes problems if you haven't done this ever before is when your partner make certain noises they dont ever do with you, maybe even do some things differently with another than done with you and your mind begins to make comparisons and jealousy strikes. Jealousy is a fear of loss, usually because our thoughts are taking in what we see and hear and interpreting and distorting in our minds what is happening to the point our emotions become involved where we compare and feel that perhaps we are lacking somehow and the current sex partner is somehow better, and that leads to being angry at our partner for having sex differently with someone else, seeming to enjoy something more or the girl enjoys it more, and then comes the fear of eventually losing ones partner. We had many many couples we swapped with who either the husband got jealous and felt my husband was getting too close 'emotionally' to his wife or the wife felt I was too close to her husband that way.
Thats all I can think of at the moment as the main concerns. It may surprise you, but I asked many couples whose idea it was to start swinging, doing 3 somes, joining a swing club and in the greater majority, it was the female who brought up the idea or started that ball rolling.
I also lastly want to add, that while you may want to only watch, it is many a mans fantasy to have several women work on him at the same time. One wife went around a club recruiting a couple women, me included to help give her husband a special birthday present...4 women working his cock at the same time. Theres not much room to do more than each licking. But to have both of you doing something at the same time might be something he'd like. Especially if you have him tied up at your mercy. It doesnt have to even be kinky. If he says, yes to having both of you work on him... exactly what cant be his choice, the two of you decide. Both work the cock or one there while one is kissing and playing with nipples or stroking another errogenous zone for him. He may like it, he may not, but since you
are planning this, its worth a try.
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Tigershark is right in that the fantasy is in general better than the reality.
If you do want to do this one way to move from conversation to sex would before you to say to the other women something like. "There is something in my bedroom I want to show you. Then since Bondage is part of the threesome you might want to change into some sexy bondage outfits and then go out and greet your husband.
Another way would for the two of you to simply start making out with him on the sofa or to offer to play a game of strip poker with him.
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It wud be better if you don't do it however if you still going to do it then let it happen naturally don't rush towards it.
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