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the typical teenage girl
over the last few months, specifically, i've realized that most teenage girls are so fake, myself included. for example, all girls... (1) talk without caps but usually in abbreviations or with all correct punctuation, (2) carry tote bags to school, (3) wear hollister & abercrombie, (4) have a manicure, pedicure or combo, (5) have or had side bangs, (6) either "scrunch" or straighten their hair, (7) have or have wanted a tiffany bracelet / necklace, (8) own converse in any color... (9) have / have worn / have wanted to wear mascara and / or eyeliner (1) usually talk with extra letters (e.g., heyy! how are youu?)
all of the above apply to me, but why are girls so obsessed with fitting in with the popular crowd? it's not even state-wide, it's NATIONwide. all teenage girls are skinny and obsessed with their weight and either all or most of the above apply. why is this? what's your opinion on it? i sometimes wonder myself where my individuality has gone, but EVERYONE does it. so why does everyone go along with it? it's so bad that once on advicenators, i was reading a girl's problem and i was going through the exact same thing and -- BECAUSE ALL GIRLS TALK THE SAME WAY -- i actually stopped and asked myself if i submitted that question, and had to check. i can't even recognize my own voice and way of speaking because everyone talks in the same way.
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Honestly, I was quite insulted by this question. Just because girls have similar interests or wear the same type of shoe doesn't mean we're "fake". Just because I carry a tote bag or wear mascara does not mean I'm trying to be "popular", because I'm not.
1. Talking without caps is because of laziness, and I admit that I sometimes do this when I'm talking on AIM to more than one person. I get lazy and type without using capitalization because it's easier for me to keep up with my conversations. I'm not the best person when it comes to doing two things at once, but not worrying about something as minuscule as my capitalization on AIM really helps.
2. The only reason I, and many girls that I know, carry a tote bag is because my school is overcrowded and we have NO time to go to our lockers. Literally, our hallways are INSANELY crowded and have WAY too many people. I don't think I'm "cool" and I'm not trying to be "cute", I just need something to carry my books and whatnot in that doesn't hurt my back.
3. Hollister and Abercrombie are worn by a lot of people because apparently it's a "cool" store. Magazines and TV shows have labeled it a "cool" store, therefore people want to be "cool" and shop there, too. Personally? I think it's too expensive and it all looks that same, but everybody has different opinions and likes different things: clothing stores included.
4. I don't ever see girls at my school with manicures/pedicures/"combos", so I really can't form an opinion on this assumption.
5. What's wrong with side bangs? They look nice and are easy to take care of. Just because a lot of people have them doesn't mean it's stupid or that they "want to be popular". It's just a style that's caught on, like teasing your hair in the 80's. Maybe that's just how they like their hair?
6. This is the only part of your rant/question that I DO semi agree with you on. I think that straightening and "scrunching" hair has become an obsession and really needs to stop. But if girls think it looks nice, then let them be confident and feel pretty.
7. I don't see girls at my school with Tiffany bracelets, either, so again I cannot really say anything about this.
8. Converse shoes are classic, and not only girls wear them, but GUYS do too. So I really don't get why you think that girls wear them to be "cool" or whatever?
9. Wearing make up is just something girls DO. It's been a tradition [for lack of better word] for CENTURIES, and girls just continue to follow it today.
10. Exxtraa letters liikeee totallyy don't make youuuu look coool, and thissss iss the only other point you made that I agree with. The extra letters get soooooooo annoying.
"all teenage girls are skinny and obsessed with their weight and either all or most of the above apply. why is this?"
- This would be because of the wonderful thing we call media. Do you ever see models that weigh more than 90 pounds? NO. I think it's disgusting and that all models should go eat a cupcake [or 6?]. But the media and Hollywood seem to think that thin is in, and that in order to be "beautiful", you need to be able to wear a size 0. I personally do NOT think this is true AT ALL, and that beauty goes a lot deeper than your jean size.
"i sometimes wonder myself where my individuality has gone, but EVERYONE does it."
- If you don't feel you're an individual, then change that! Do things because you WANT to. Wear the clothes you LIKE, and do your hair however you WANT to do it. If you follow the crowd, you might get lost in it.
Bottom Line:
I'm sorry if any part of my answer insulted you, because I really didn't mean to. I just think this was more of a rant than a question, and that over half of the assumptions you made were incorrect. However, hopefully my answer helped at least a little bit =]
-Laura (16-f)
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I was thinking of this concept last week! You put it into words really well. I love this question. Thank you for asking this, even though it's a little depressing to think about.. :( Deep down inside, I don't want to conform. But I feel like if I don't conform, I won't have any friends. Or rather, my friends will be the most loserish, ugliest girls. It almost hurts to say it.
Sigh.
PS: I wrote my answer in all lower case. I went back and rewrote it. haha.
(Another thing to add to your list: girls have started abandoning "lol" for "ahaha" and "lmao" for "ahahahahahahahaha" (That was exaggerated, btw))
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I have to agree with the advicenator below me. I too really enjoy and appreciate this question. I know that it seems almost impossible to be your own person especially in highschool, but trust me you can do it. Myself for example, is kind of your average teenage girl. HOWEVER, I do NOT wear hollister or abercrombie, I buy tasteful clothes that I like and suit me and my personality. I (usually) type in the full english language besides the occasional "OMG" or "LOL". However I dont see this as a huge problem, it's just typing for god sakes. Tote bags are so overrated, carry around a bag that you love! It will make you feel so confident knowing that you like it. Manicure's I dont see as a big deal, it's just kind of natural for a girl to want to get her nails done, its a time when a girl can truly be a girl and just relax. I am guilty of side bangs but I have them because I LIKE them on ME! Not because the most hip celebrities have them. I learned that if a certain look on a celebrity or another girl looks great on them, it may just not be your style. Scrunching/straightening your hair is your own personal preference, how your hair and makeup looks(your overall appearance) can really boost your confidence. I have never wanted a tiffany bracelet. Why? Because everyone has them! Same goes for the standard Hollister tee shirts. Why would I want to be seen with the same look as every other girl out there? Never owned converse, not a fan. I wear makeup and mascara, but like I said, it's totally up to you and a personal preference. If it looks good on you, why not? People exaggerate the whole extra letters. When typing, I use extras to show how I would actually say it as if I was alking in person. People just do it for the fun of it, and honestly it can get kind of annoying.
As far as the "popular crowd" goes, it is sad to admit but let's face it, the most important aspect of highschool is fitting in and being well liked. The problem with this, is that people most likely girls but also guys, go to the extreme. They lie, become two faced, fake etc etc. They begin to lose their identity and who they really are. It is hard to find really good friends these days because one day you could be so close of good friends and the next you're friendship is over. And you may not have done anything to deserve it. So many people are utterly immature it makes me sick. No one has their own opinion or say, they follow what they're friends say just so they aren't singled out. But that's not me. I say how I feel and I don't care who disagrees. People will actually respect you more for having your own opinion rather than being the replica of everyone else. I am a sophomore in highschool, just turned fifteen, but am probably more mature than the seniors in my school. I use big sounding words, I make sarcastic jokes, blah blah blah. However, I am a girly girl and do enjoy wearing makeup and have a deep love for fashion. But I don't talk about my friends or people I like behind their backs because I know better. It's okay to be you and I know that it can be extremely hard to be yourself in situations like this but it will be worth it, I promise. I really hope I helped answering your question :]
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Girls just want to be liked. Teen girls want boyfriends, so they'll become like the rest of the crowd to get what they want.
I am one of those people who feel they don't need to wear Abercrombie/Hollister to be popular or well-liked. I don't wear it/have never worn it and, to be honest, that's what my boyfriend likes about me. Originality is scarcely found, and I'm glad I can be one of those girls who confront it.
You (and the many other girls) will grow out of it. It's just about fitting in. People don't recognize the clothes you wear, they recognize the personality behind the clothes. If you're nice and funny (and not fake), people will like you. Like me, for example, I fit into every crowd because I'm just nice to people.
People want kindness, and once they get it, they'll return it and tell they're friends how kind you were. Ofcourse there may be a few people you don't like, but for the most part, you'll like everyone.
Popular is just a label, and every girl dreams of being it, but the truth is, you don't have to wear name-brand clothes and look like you've just come off the runway to be popular.
There's no one real answer (I think) as to why so many girls feel they need to be popular. But some girls have the need to feel better than every other girl that lives.
Also, some girls haven't found their inner and outer beauty. If they knew what their inner and outer beauty was, they wouldn't waste the money on buying expensive clothes and make-up.
I hope I helped !
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Hah.
First, a compliment. Most people, the vast majority, never question things like this. They do what they do, follow in line with everyone else, and are generally too stupid to ever realize how bad it really is.
The fact that you asked this has restored some tiny modicum of hope for the American public.
Anyway. Why do people copy one another? Its quite simple. A large portion of the population has no desire to determine what is right for themselves, based on what they think. Instead, they turn outward to have their standards set by others, because its easier that way. You don't have to think, and you never have to be uncertain.
I mean, if millions of other people are doing it, its a good idea, right?
Thats the general line of thought.
The other part, is that going along with everything the way people do, some people come out on top. Its a way for those at the top of the hierarchy to keep those at the bottom in line.
Popularity is one of the funniest aspects of human existence. Your ability to manipulate others turning into exercisable power based on nothing except people's perceptions about you and themselves.
No one celebrates differences anymore. Why? Because everyone spends all their time telling each other how they are supposed to act, what theyre supposed to like, etc. It causes friction because everyone reacts based on their own insecurities.
I'll sink into stereotype for an example.
Lets say you've got a popular chick, and a hippie chick. (Sorry, I have an affinity for hippie chicks)
The popular chick acts just like everyone else, but because shes just a little prettier, and her parents are a little richer, she gets status in her group, becomes the "leader" and gets used to the feeling of being looked up to.
She has all these people around her who tell her not only that shes doing things right, but that she is an example to them in how to do things right. Shes great, in their eyes.
Cross with a teenager. Everyone is insecure in life, no matter what age, but teens have it the worst. Just old enough to second guess yourself without experience to have a good idea of what really IS right.
So you have this girl who has absolutely no idea how she should act. She has jumped on the "tell me how to be" train, and has only the assurances of everyone else to tell her that she is who she should be, and that she is a person of value in this world.
Now, we meet the hippie chick. She's perfectly fine with who she is. Maybe plays a sport, she's laid back, and has alot of friends. Might be a little shy, or a little bitchy.
These two cross paths. The popular chick sees the hippie girl, and wonders "why isnt she like me?"
Now, the automatic outside assumption is "because shes not as good" which we see everywhere in America and which causes untold misery on a daily basis.
But under that, she's not sure. She's 15-18. She hopes what shes doing is right, but here is an example of someone who is not like her, and happy about it. She decides to make the hippie girl unhappy about it. So she starts being a bitch to the hippie girl and tries to make her feel bad, because shes not acting right and giving this girl the positive "you are right" validation shes used to from her fresh-out-the-cloning-vat group of friends.
This is the genesis of every single teen targeted movie with the popular bitch girl.
Ultimately, all of this comes about because of insecurity. We're all so worried about what everyone thinks, but we're terrified to get an honest answer when we ask what people think of us. No one is confident about themselves doing the right thing, because all of it is bullshit.
Thats the worst part. We didn't pick good values to do this with, we picked bad ones. Materialism, greed, vanity, jealousy, everyone seeks to be the best so that they don't have to deal with any of these. Our values are valueless, because when you're in your 20s you won't give a shit about that purse your parents bought you when you were 16 (and neither will anyone else) but you will care that you never learned to work your ass off or be a decent, kind, productive member of society (and so will everyone else)
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You are completely right. I was in the exact same place when I realized this very thing. One day, after a few discussions with my boyfriend, everything clicked and it seemed like suddenly my eyes were open for the first time. I looked around and went, "WHOA! Wait a minute..."
The reason is: because we are wanted to become mindless beings so that we are easier to control in the long-run.
It sounds like some conspiracy thing, but it's all so true. Look around you closer. Think of things like this:
EVERYONE "should" have sex. You're pressured to have sex by your peers, television, movies, and even music. The "trojan man" even says that sex is just fine and dandy as long as you have a condom. If condoms are oh-so-effective then why do we have so many teenage pregnancies (condoms = 88% effective w/TYPICAL usage) and why is 80%+ of the United States population afflicted with the herpes virus?
Some people are just "born" being gay. Sure, maybe you can believe one in five thousand babies are born with a mental disorder like this, but why has it suddenly become so outspoken and almost considered normal? Because the media keeps telling us that it's okay. Jeffrey Starr is a big hit and he's flamboyantly gay. Will and Grace was a huge show and the main characters are wonderfully gay. Ellen Degeneres has her own TV show and is a big star now because she's out and gay (seriously, what does she EVER do well that deserved her own television show?). Gay people know that being gay is not "scary" and "hard" because they aren't told that, they're told that it's glamorous, unique, and desirable--that's why there are more and more gay people every day.
If everyone is sick with AIDS, herpes, and other STDs then they will have to lean on the government for assistance. If everyone is gay then birthrates will drop and there will be less people that will need to be brainwashed. If we're so obsessed with ourselves then we won't be able to reach out to others for help. I mean, what happened to visiting the elderly in nursing homes and bringing the sick some food so they didn't have to find/make their own?
You're being told that appearance is everything so that you cannot function in the real world. You worry so much about make-up and hairstyles that when it comes time to actually function as a working adult you'll be stumped and easily lost. You'll get overly stressed trying to flip burgers. You'll get so lost in working a cash register that customers will complain and you'll be fired. You can show up pretty but there isn't much past that. High school education isn't ANYTHING now--I passed high school and went through college and where am I now? I'm a cashier at wal-mart.
You'll then hit a depression and need to seek therapy. You'll be rendered completely useless in the real world, but you'll sure know what was popular when you were a teenager. You begin having panic attacks and need medication just to be able to find food in a grocery store.
And what about children? You'll give birth to one before you hit 18. The poor child won't know anything because you didn't learn anything yourself. They'll grow up being obsessed with their own hair, weight, and style instead of their intellect.
It's the TV. It's the radio. It's your brainwashed peers.
It's even your parents now.
I heard this conversation in the local Curves one evening:
"I didn't let Jerry stay at home even for half an hour alone even after he graduated from college. It's not that I don't trust him, it's that I know that if I am not there that he'll do something wrong. I mean, being a parent takes a lot of time and is HARD WORK..."
If this woman was truly a good parent then she wouldn't have to worry if Jerry was home alone for 30 minutes. Yes, parenting is hard work, but when did the line get crossed to the point where we stopped TEACHING our children right from wrong and assuming they only knew wrong? If you are a good parent then you can be confident that your child isn't going to make irresponsible decisions while being home alone for half an hour. Maybe you're not where I am yet on opening your eyes but, hopefully, you'll understand what I'm saying.
My parents didn't teach me how to grocery shop for lowest prices. My parents didn't teach me that vitamins are my friend when it comes to staying healthy. My parents didn't tell me that coldsores were actually herpes and that it could be passed to the genitals. My parents never told me that throwing my body around would be emotionally devastating so when I was freshly-turned 14, I started having sex. If my parents had preached to me about how special my virginity was and really laid down hardcore rules about boys spending the night then I wouldn't have the emotional baggage regarding sex that I do now.
Check my response to this question out:
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When was it funny to see GROSS porn?:
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When did it become acceptable to sleep with random guys? I mean, where the hell did our morals go?:
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When people stopped saying, "Killing an innocent child is wrong! Tell your friend that she is CRAZY!" and started saying, "Oh well...it isn't your kid anyway...just leave them alone...":
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When even MENTALLY RETARDED people were so pressured to have sex that they become pregnant:
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When doing illegal, harmful drugs (weed) became normal and acceptable by most:
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When it became STRANGE to hear of a person caring about making meaningful conversation before interacting with others:
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When did it become normal to feel slutty after losing your virginity anyway?!:
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When was it okay to stop loving God and start loving porn instead?:
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When did we start having to worry about contracting STDs through toilet seats?:
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When it was SO HORRIBLE when our parents actually cared about us and set rules so that we could mature into useful adults at the right speed?:
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I mean, what has the world come to? We're being fed so much crap that we buy into it. Hollister isn't making us cool or sexy. Being bulimic isn't making ANYONE pretty but is killing hundreds, if not thousands, of young girls. Make up only causes wrinkles--which we end up buying MORE products to try to reduce those.
Do the best you can to keep your eyes opened. Stop buying the expensive, trashy clothes. Stop spending time gobbing on make-up. Stop throwing your body around like it was meaningless. Stop making time for TV. Stop typing like a complete idiot. Start learning. Start volunteering at various places. Start caring about everyone else and how people are going to grow up. Start worrying about how you're going to function in a couple of years as an adult.
Stuff like this:
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and your question...
gives me hope that things will change some day.
I hope all goes well in your eye-opening journey and you don't end up shutting your mind off again. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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