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I don't even know.
Ok. I am going to use real names because I don't feel the need to hide this.
I have a friend Taylor. We have been good friends for a while. I also have a best friend Dave.
Dave and Taylor were together, but not going out. They really liked eachother, understandable right?
Taylor "broke up" with Dave, then hated him for the last 4 months. For no reason at all, just wouldn't talk to him and made fun on him constantly. Dave hurt for a while, but finally got over it.
Dave and I have been extremely close ever since we met. Dave and I now are kind of, as you can say, together.
Ever since Dave and I have been together, Taylor has been trying to talk to Dave again, and asks me ridiculous questions about me and him and what we do. She said that him her and can only be enemies, or lovers. So what does that mean? If she is trying to talk to him, that might mean she wants to be lovers with him.
She insists she is over him and does not want him, but why is she constantly asking me about it? And flipping out on me about him. I think she still has feelings for him, which is understandable. But she has hated him for 4 months, and Dave would try to talk to her, but she was just such a BITCH to him that he got over her.
It's not my fault me and him like eachother, we cannot control feelings. I understand where she is coming from because it is her ex, but still, they are over, and she knows it.
I don't know what to do. I do not what to loose either of them. Taylor is just being very immature about this and said she might as well go hook up with my ex boyfriend Justin, so I would know how it felt.
Dave and I have been through A LOT together. Like, a mad amount of stupid shit we have done and gotten in trouble for. Taylor seems like it is right to bring those mistakes up to make me sound like a bad person.
I tried talking to her so many times.
Now I am thinking I should just end it wtih Dave so this whole thing would stop, no matter how much I don't want to.
Someone please help me, I really don't know what to do.
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i've actually been in the same situation... from taylors point of view. my best friend fell for my ex. this wasn't just any ex. him and i were together for ages and thought we were in love. i realised i didn't really love him so i had to break it off. my best friend kat started getting a bit distant. she stopped returning my calls and didn't hang out with me as much. if she just told me straight up i would have been okay, but i found out from someone else. she finally fessed up and started going into detail about their sex life. i figure the best way to help you is to let you know what she is probably going through.
she feels that she is losing her best friend to her ex. and i'm sure she is a little jealous - thats only natural. but i'm wondering, did you consult her before you hooked up with dave? its just that if kat had asked me it'd be okay. she might not feel comfortable with it. i suggest you talk seriously with her and it may come down to you making a choice. taylor or dave?
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Hey darling. Seems like Taylor is on a bit of a jealousy streak. Now that you and Dave are happy, she wants what she can't have. I would advise you to go on and be happy with Dave. If he treats you right, and you're happy together, then who is SHE to try and ruin that? Its not her place OR her right. She's just trying to bring you down and make you doubt yourself, also to question your relationship. I know its hard when friends turn out like this, but it happens to most of us. I had the same thing happen to me. You could first try getting the point across to her - tell her you're fed up with what she's trying to pull, and if she doesn't stop, you're gonna have to stop talking to her. Let her know that, as a friend, she should respect your decisions and choices, as long as no one's getting hurt. If she can't listen to reasoning, then you're far better off without her. You don't need negative people in your life, and if she wants to be negative, let her be that way - all by herself.
Hope this helps,
Alyson
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I'm sorry to say it, but by the sounds of it, Taylor isn't worth keeping around as a friend. You could try and talk to her, but from what you've said, she's not going to listen or comply. So, you're gonna just have to try and cut her out of your life. It's probably going to be hard, seeing as how she was a good friend, but you have to realize, she's not that way anymore. Forget about her, move on, and enjoy your time with Dave.
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I'm just going to be the Devil's Advocate, and tell her side of the story.
For whatever reason, she broke up with Dave. She was probably mean to him because she was trying to get over him.
She was probably very close to over him when she found out that you two where together.
I think this upset her.
Now, if she does go hook-up with your ex, Justin, shes only doing the same thing you are doing, so you cant get mad.
I'm not saying either of you are right. I think you should talk it out, and see if you can be friends despite all of this.
Good Luck
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Dear kc, Taylor is selfish. Dave is the best thing that's happend to you all year. There is no way in hell anyone would want to see you end it with Dave, especially Taylor. She's just jealous because you and Dave DO have more history than her and Dave. KC darling, good luck.
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NO, don't end anything with Dave. That's letting her get what she wants. I was getting mad at this Taylor person as I was reading it!
Normally when you switch from nasty to nice it can mean you're trying to get over someone, so she was but obviously it didn't work because feelings are still remaining with her. I don't think you can ever be FULLY over anyone because they always remain in your thoughts for a while after a relationship, so let her have her time complaining and being upset.
Every time she brings up just say:
"You know what, the only thing you ever talk about is Dave. You told him off and became angry with him for some hidden reason and he needed someone to talk to, so I was there. I'm not going to be miserable with you so you can get back together. I'm his girlfriend now, so let it go and move on with your life. You got mad at him for no reason, you can't just do that. You have to pay the consequences if you do something wrong." Just say it nicer.
That may seem a little harsh, but she'll wake up after that, hopefully.
I think you should end your friendship with Taylor, if there is one. Although it is a little backstabbing of you to go out with him after, it's understandable and your friend is just an unclassy loser. She's being rude and immature about this entire situation and needs to let you two have your space. Just whenever she brings the subject of him up, walk away. If she calls or something to invite you over to her house or a place she was going to, say no. You don't have to give a reason but if you want go for it.
You shouldn't've had to talk to her so many times, she's being stubborn and unreasonable. Dave sounds like a nice guy, which is why you should stay with him no matter what she says or does. (ALMOST)
So anyways, my point is... I guess this is her way of getting over him, and a ridiculous way at that.
Much Luck.
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Ok you've already got alot of good advice but i thought id throw my opinion out there lol. Well, she likes him because she can't have him. Shes saying these things to you like "me and dave can either be enemies or lovers" and bringing up what you've done to make you feel horrible so you'll back of Dave so she can have him. My bestfriend told me she liked one of my ex's that i did really love and i was over him and accepted she liked him. Shes your friend and if she says shes over him then theres no reason to not be with dave. The point is shes jelous and trying to get you away from Dave so she can have him all to herself. If you love Dave, then stay with him! Don't let her put you down, Daves yours now so she should deal with it. Goodluck with Dave and your bestfriend! Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
P.S When she says they can either be enemies or lovers, shes saying they can either hate each other or love each other but this dave guy sounds like he doesnt realli care so this would just be her opinion. once again shes trying to make you stop liking him because shes jelous.
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The "rule" is,
Friends dont date friends exes.
Thats basically what she is trying to say.
And im sorry but she is right. Just like when she said she would date justin just to show you how it felt. Its like a slap in the face to her. Even If she did so called hate him for four months. Which I highly doubt. She was just putting up a front on now, shes jealous.
If Taylor's friendship is important to you then its best that you and Dave stay friends.
Boys come and go, but friends are forever...
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Let me ask you a question real fast, okay?
Why in the hell would you leave Dave if he is not the one causing the problem? This situation with Taylor has only a small case that has to do with him. The rest of it is not.
Taylor sounds like a little attention whore who wants all the focus on her, and she wants to be loved. She's pissed that you're with her ex, so she's doing everything in her power to ruin it for you & him.
Dave isn't the person you should be ending relations with. The person you shouldn't be friends with anymore is clearly Taylor. She's evil, decieving & she doesn't know what she wants. If you love this kid, stay with him. But don't leave him because Taylor doesn't know what it is she wants from a relationship.
If she wants to go out with your ex, fine, but she should do it because she wants to & likes him, not because it's "revenge." Honestly, stay with Dave, and stop being friends with Taylor. She's rediculous & a horrible friend.
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I think she still has feelings for him and she is in denial. But to be 100% honest, I'd be really pissed if my friend started dating my ex boyfriend, I'd probably kick her ass. But if you feel the relationship is more important than go for him forget about her. Maybe in time she will come around and see that its just a guy and your friendship is more important. If she meets another guy she likes i'm sure she wont care anymore.
Good Luck!!!!!
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DON'T LET THINGS GO WITH DAVE. Don't punish him for his stupid ex-girlfriend. Taylor is very jealous of you two and she wants him back, or else she just wants him to be alone so nobody can have him and he'll be sad and still pining after her. She is a very stupid person and I would give her a piece of my mind if I were you. If you are friends with her, stop being friends with her.Tell dave to do the same. If you both have nothing to do with her shes gotta leave you alone. Pretend shes just another random person or stranger you see if you have to. Tell her its none of her buisness what you and dave do together, and dont tell her nomatter what. Avoid all contact with her after that, and if somehow you guys end up talking and shes making you seem like an evil person, spin it back on her, telling her what a good man shes lost and how she looks pathetic trying to take controll over what isnt hers. Tell her hes yours and she needs to back up. Tell her if she wanted to have him, when he wuz kissin up to her trying to be nice she coulda taken the opportuity but she wuz too stupid. Then leave her be. If she wants to take ur ex boyfriend justin tell him now, that she doesnt really like him, that shes trying to get back at you for going out with dave, but that he can do whatever he likes with her. Its her issue anyways. hes your ex and you like dave so when she realizes you arent jealous she'll leave you alone. If she ends up liking him in the end, or ends up liking some other guy she'll forget all about you and leave you alone.
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It is not Dave you should be thinking about ending it with. It is not your relationship with Dave that is causing a problem.
Taylor’s emotional game of “Yes. No. Maybe so.” is designed to do one thing and one thing only: Make this situation all about her. When in fact, it has almost nothing to do with her at all. She has opted out of this whole mess when she dumped him. She doesn’t get to opt back into the drama just because she wants too.
Cut her out of this situation by no longer talking to her about Dave. If she tries to start up a conversation about him tell her you think the two of you have said everything you can possibly say about the subject and even though you understand she might be hurting, you don’t plan on ending your relationship with either of them.
It might take some work, but be calm and firm and repeat yourself: “You know where I stand. I have nothing else to say about Dave.” She will try desperately hard to get a rise out of you, so don’t let her. She might have a lot to still say, and you can listen to as much or as little as you want to, but don’t change your message for a second! To everything she has to say the response should be “I understand your feelings, but you already know my decision. I have nothing else to say about it.”
If she suddenly professes feelings for Dave again, tell her gently and respectfully that that is something she needs to talk to Dave about, not you.
Ending it with Dave will not change Taylor’s drama fest. It will only redirect it for a bit. I promise you you’ll find yourself just as unhappy with her diva behavior over a whole different situation in a few months, if not weeks, and you will have a lost a guy who might be good for you.
You’ll also be validating her belief that your love life is all about her.
A triangle takes three people. Break it off by ending the communication with Taylor that is causing the problem. You can still be friends, although it is true, you will likely never be as close again, but that is at least as much her fault as it ever will be yours.
Take a deep breath and let her feelings become her problem, instead of yours. You have made your decision: Your decision is to remain her friend and date Dave. The ball is in her court now. She can either learn to live with your decision, or she can butt out.
This friends don’t date friends exes or crushes is grade school nonsense in my opinion. In the real world not only does it happen, it happens surprisingly often. Of course it hurts. Friendships might weaken or end because of it sometimes, but not always. Mature adults learn how to cope with one another or else come to the conclusion that they can no longer remain friends without clawing each others eyes out and part ways.
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hey, well this is a pretty hard situation. i think that you and taylor both have a point. no, its not right to date your friends ex, but she was the one that said that she was over him. when she said that, that gave you the impression that she was over him and that he was up for grabs. so i think that its taylors own fault because she basically gave you the okay to have feelings for him. if she truly wasnt okay with it, she should have spoke up. she cant expect you just to know/assume that shes not okay with it, i mean, you are not a mind reader. i think that you should have a talk with taylor. i normally would write to you that friends come before guys, but since your already involved with dave because taylor said that she was over him, i realize that its going to be hard to get out of. during your talk with taylor, explain to her what i explained to you. say to her that if you knew that she totally wasnt okay with you being with dave, that you would have never gone for it because friends always come before guys. but tell her since that she did say that she was over him, that you already got involved and that its going to be hard to get out of and you dont want to get out of it because of your feelings for him. during your talk, dont hold back feelings (vice versa) because the problem wont get fixed if you do. i wish you luck. =]
♥
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okay, well, i can kind of relate to Taylor on this whole thing. She's feeling hurt right now because she still likes Dave but Dave likes you, so she is blaming you for everything that happened. When she "broke up" with him she was probably hoping that Dave would come running back to her.
i think that what needs to happen is Dave should talk to her about it. He needs to tell her that she needs to except the fact that its over and find someone else. if she doesn't get it, she'll get over it eventually.
just don't end it with dave because then she'll get exactly what she wants.
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You should have never started up with your best friend's ex no matter how over him she says she is. That wasn't a smart thing for you to do and is the quickest way to lose your friend forever. Unfortunately, even if you end the relationship with Dave, the damage has already been done. You're already the girl who takes her best friend's guy.
I don't think that Taylor is being immature. I think you're being immature (and naive) for expecting her to be OK with you dating her ex. Friends are supposed to support each other and be there for each other. Your actions have turned things into a competition. You have nobody to blame but yourself. I know you don't wanna hear this, but it's true.
I think you need to take some time alone to think about who is more important to you - Taylor or Dave. You can't have both. And you need to realize what you've done is wrong and be genuinely sorry about it - not because the repercussions are burdening you, but because you hurt someone who is supposed to be your best friend. I shutter to think of how you'd treat someone who's not your friend.
I've been in situations where my actions were really, really awful and I didn't think they were, and it took seeking advice from an outside source to make me realize that - yeah, I did a really shitty thing. So I'm not trying to make you think you're a bad person at all, because you're probably just someone who made a huge mistake, but you do need to know you did a really shitty thing that may not be fixable.
You're in a bad situation because you'll probably have to end things with Dave just to even get a chance to make things up to Taylor, and there's no guarantee that she'll even forgive you. You could end up alone. Or you can stay with Dave and leave your friendship behind, but chances are the relationship won't work and you'll have a hard time finding a best friend like Taylor. Best friends are hard to find. Boys are everywhere.
Good luck making your decision. I hope you can come to some kind of solution that leaves things peaceful between all three of you. :)
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NO, you shouldn't end it with Dave. Your friend is being a jealous bitch, plain and simple. She needs to get over the fact that he found someone new. She's mad because now she knows she has no back up, hes with you now, so she can't go running back to him. Tell her," you broke up with him, remember, you hated him, and now all of a sudden you start talking to him. And if you want to hook up with my ex, then fine, but true friends don't do that. And this is different I'm not hooking up with Dave, we're together. So either be my friend and get over it, or continue to be ridicuously wrong and selfish. "
hope I helped ?
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