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UNDER MAINTENANCEadvice
i am having a serious issue with my 20 yr old daughter! she is moving back east to live with her father. i hate this man. he has never done anything except try to beat me out the child support he was ordered to pay. plus when the kids would go to visit him, he only bad mouths me and i can't defend myself against his lies. he was not around to help support them or get them thru school. he also told both the kids that he could have done a better job raising them. they have both graduated high school with honors. my problem is i can no longer stand her. i asked her to stay here with her brother and me and help us financially which would benefit us all. she won't. if she steps on the plane i will not ever talk to her again. i am going to lose my daughter to a messed up alcoholic. i cannot and will not accept this! she had the nerve to send me an e-mail about a going away party. i want to throw up! this will be the biggest mistake of her life! how do i get on with my life?
If you raised her well, she'll make the right decision. You have to trust yourself from there. And frankly, I think you never talking to YOUR OWN DAUGHTER again would be a much bigger mistake then her going to live with her father. Think about what it would be like for her carrying a burden life-long that her own mother would never forgive her. Once, I thought my mother didn't forgive me for mouthing off and it was terrible, I know this is much more serious but I think you need to be more rational about the whole situation.
Hating your ex-husband isn't going to help you out, in the bible it states that hatred is like murder, and it's only going to make you more upset with yourself; it's not benefiting you at all.
She's an adult now. I know you don't want her to make the same mistakes you made but she won't, she'll make her own. She needs independence more than anything right now and she has every right to make her own decision even if it's not the one you want her to make. You can't MAKE her live with you.
And whether or not you want to accept this, you HAVE to. If you don't, you'll never move off the subject and you'll dwell on it forever. You just can't expect her to make her decisions to revolve around you. It's her life now, and she wants her own father to be a part of it, is that such a bad thing? She doesn't have the whole story about her father from what you explained, and if he's alcoholic he could hurt her. I know that's a scary thought but think about it, really. Just warn her about his drinking habits and tell her you'll always be there. All she needs right now from you is your support for every decision she makes. Only you can give that to her.
Sending an e-mail about a going away party isn't so bad. She just wants to remember everybody before she leaves, shouldn't everybody have one?
I think first you need to figure out what is bothering you so much about it because I don't think it's all your ex-husband. Some of it may be because you're not ready to say goodbye to your daughter. But you have to do what's best for her, and this may not be it, so this way the best thing you can do is let her make her decision, warn her about his drinking habits, and support her decision. Even if you think it's the wrong decision, she needs to learn herself before it's something more crucial or she'll never understand and make the same mistakes in a worse situation again until she learns.
Would you be happy if she lived with you? Yes. Would you be happy if she lived with you because she felt like she had to? Probably not.
Would you be happy if she left to live with her father? No.
Would you be happy if she was happy with her decision? Yes.
So make sure whatever decision she makes, that she's happy.
Let her know that she can always call you to talk or if there's a problem and that you'll always be there. That's better than "I'm never talking to you again if you step on that plane." because you wouldn't be happy with yourself for doing that, would you?
You have to be honest with yourself.
If you can't even be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with your daughter?
I know it's hard and you feel it's wrong, but go with your instinct.
I think you should give your ex-husband a chance to explain, everyone deserves a second chance and having an existence of everlasting hatred for him is getting the both of you absolutely no where. If he's being honest with your kids about it, maybe he can be honest with you too. That's just another way of looking at it. At least he admitted it, right?
Sometimes people aren't just saying that to cover something up.
I think she might feel like she missed a good father in her childhood and now that he admitted about 'could have done better' she feels like there's a chance she has one.
Have a long talk with her about how you feel, but first figure out how you feel. Don't be angry, it will only get her angry or worry her. It does no good. Then she'll only want to leave even more if you yell at her. And then when she stays she'll be unhappy for two reasons. She knows you never would've spoken to her again if she made the decision SHE wanted, and she didn't do what she wanted to begin with.
Much Luck.
I had sex with this guy that i really really like. It was my first time. And I hated it. It hurt so badly. And I was bleeding a whole lot. Why did it hurt? And why was I bleeding? I am 14/f
You were bleeding because your cherry popped. That's just a metaphor.
What it really means is there's a stretch of skin "down there" and it's called the hymen. It tears on your first time, so you bled and this happens to almost everybody! So don't fret, sweetie. For some girls it can be merely uncomfortable while for others it can be agonizing and lots of girls do cry while it's happening.
So don't worry because everything you're describing happens to almost everyone, and is completely normal.
It happens to all of us, I know what you're thinking. Why girls? :S
I wonder all the time, too.
But at the same time I'm very happy about that arrangement.
:)
Much Luck.
I am 15, turning 16 in about a month. Everywhere I go, people think I am SO much younger than I am! For example, I was getting my hair cut, and my hair cutter asked me how old I was, I told her, and then she said, "Oh really? I would have guessed like 13!"
It really bothers me...
Are there any tips that can make me look older?
In most cases, I can't relate but there was one particular one I think would make you laugh. Not out loud laughing, but you know :)
So I was walking through the store one day and this old man comes up to me and says "Do you think an 8 year old would like this? I wanted to have somebody else's opinion and you looked around that age." And he held up a LITE-BRITE box thing.
And I'm just like, "I'm not 8... but yeah." I'm 13! I think his eye-sight was a little off.
Do you wear make-up? If not, start wearing some. Eye-liner, mascara, lip gloss, lip stick, eye-shadow, bare minerals etc. are wonderful things! I don't mean that sarcastically either, I don't have a bad attitude :)
Most people look older with their hair up. If you don't have bangs, take a couple sets of strands of hair on each side of your head and comb through them, then place them on top of your head with a clip. Then take what hair you didn't use, and put it in a messy bun. It should look like this when you're done.
http://www.frontrowking.com/concerts/Hilary%20Duff/duff.jpg
Except turn the ponytail into a messy bun, but only if you want to :]
Much Luck.
Ok. I am going to use real names because I don't feel the need to hide this.
I have a friend Taylor. We have been good friends for a while. I also have a best friend Dave.
Dave and Taylor were together, but not going out. They really liked eachother, understandable right?
Taylor "broke up" with Dave, then hated him for the last 4 months. For no reason at all, just wouldn't talk to him and made fun on him constantly. Dave hurt for a while, but finally got over it.
Dave and I have been extremely close ever since we met. Dave and I now are kind of, as you can say, together.
Ever since Dave and I have been together, Taylor has been trying to talk to Dave again, and asks me ridiculous questions about me and him and what we do. She said that him her and can only be enemies, or lovers. So what does that mean? If she is trying to talk to him, that might mean she wants to be lovers with him.
She insists she is over him and does not want him, but why is she constantly asking me about it? And flipping out on me about him. I think she still has feelings for him, which is understandable. But she has hated him for 4 months, and Dave would try to talk to her, but she was just such a BITCH to him that he got over her.
It's not my fault me and him like eachother, we cannot control feelings. I understand where she is coming from because it is her ex, but still, they are over, and she knows it.
I don't know what to do. I do not what to loose either of them. Taylor is just being very immature about this and said she might as well go hook up with my ex boyfriend Justin, so I would know how it felt.
Dave and I have been through A LOT together. Like, a mad amount of stupid shit we have done and gotten in trouble for. Taylor seems like it is right to bring those mistakes up to make me sound like a bad person.
I tried talking to her so many times.
Now I am thinking I should just end it wtih Dave so this whole thing would stop, no matter how much I don't want to.
Someone please help me, I really don't know what to do.
NO, don't end anything with Dave. That's letting her get what she wants. I was getting mad at this Taylor person as I was reading it!
Normally when you switch from nasty to nice it can mean you're trying to get over someone, so she was but obviously it didn't work because feelings are still remaining with her. I don't think you can ever be FULLY over anyone because they always remain in your thoughts for a while after a relationship, so let her have her time complaining and being upset.
Every time she brings up just say:
"You know what, the only thing you ever talk about is Dave. You told him off and became angry with him for some hidden reason and he needed someone to talk to, so I was there. I'm not going to be miserable with you so you can get back together. I'm his girlfriend now, so let it go and move on with your life. You got mad at him for no reason, you can't just do that. You have to pay the consequences if you do something wrong." Just say it nicer.
That may seem a little harsh, but she'll wake up after that, hopefully.
I think you should end your friendship with Taylor, if there is one. Although it is a little backstabbing of you to go out with him after, it's understandable and your friend is just an unclassy loser. She's being rude and immature about this entire situation and needs to let you two have your space. Just whenever she brings the subject of him up, walk away. If she calls or something to invite you over to her house or a place she was going to, say no. You don't have to give a reason but if you want go for it.
You shouldn't've had to talk to her so many times, she's being stubborn and unreasonable. Dave sounds like a nice guy, which is why you should stay with him no matter what she says or does. (ALMOST)
So anyways, my point is... I guess this is her way of getting over him, and a ridiculous way at that.
Much Luck.
Okay, recently I have started shaving my legs and arm pits with out any soap water or anything and it is working actually really good. The reason I have been doing this is because especially in my arm pits I would get razor burn when I use soap and water or even shaving gel. So one day I read on the internet that someone shaved without any soap or water and it took away the bumps. And when I tried it I immediately saw an improvement under my arm pits and legs. Afterwards I put lotion on my legs and they have been looking great. My question is, is this bad for my skin? And if so, what can I do to reduce razor burn on my legs and especially under my arms? Thanks!
First of all, it has to be coincidental. Whether it works better or not it can't possibly get rid of bumps. Bumps are caused by fabrics rubbing up against your skin. Then ingrown hairs form and look like they're zits. I think that's what you mean by bumps.
Skintimate is what I've advised most users to do lately, but I found a better cure. Buy some Caress Body Wash and rub it on your skin like shaving cream, it's cleaning and washing your skin while at the same time getting rid of the hair on your legs. I've only used it "down there" but my skin turned out softer than ever. It works on your armpits, too.
Stay away from Nair, and things like that. Those are very bad for your skin because they burn the hair off, that's how it's removed. OUCH! Let's not do that...
Maybe to reduce razor burn you could put Neosporin on it so it doesn't get infected, or Cortizone so it doesn't itch. But that's for Eczema. So yeah -- I'm thinkin' it's pretty bad for your skin.
If you want to shave dry, why not try an electric razor? I started out with one of those. They're pretty convenient because you don't have to get in the shower every time you want to shave, you don't take extra time in your routine, and most likely fit it in your schedule instead of insisting of shaving at a particular time in the shower etc. *Breathes* Wow... that was a mouthful. I have a very hectic schedule so I'm thinking about going back to it again.
Daisy Daisy Daisy.
Daisy is a really good razor. I've tried Schick, Quatro, Venus Vibrance, Veet, and just about everything except for Soleil and some others. Maybe that's a bit of an exagertaion but I've tried a lot and none worked like Daisy. Daisy is great, they come in a package of 6 disposable razors, and they're pretty cheap.
What kind of lotion exactly do you put on your skin?
Is it scented?
If so, you may want to pick an unscented one because the scents and smells no matter how lovely or sweet they are, could be hurting your skin :( Happened to me. I also had to switch the detergent for my Eczema.
Most techniques only work for the first few times you use them, so try doing a little research next time before you do some damage, okay?
Much Luck.
Okay, so I'm going into 8th grade after Summer this year, and I want to make new friends. Problem is -- I have one particular friend that makes it hard. Really hard.
Like she'll get really mad whenever she hears I've gotten together or made other plans with other friends (even if it's my cousins!) and insist or invite herself to come with.
But she's friends with this other girl that I'm also friends with, and we were all supposedly close through 7th grade. I've been friends with the girl that makes it hard to make friends (Let's call her A) since halfway through kindergarten!
The thing is, that A thinks we're still BFFs, and no matter how many times I try to tell her, I get the same result. She's like "No I don't!", we get into the occassional fight, then get back together. But this time I don't wanna get back together. I never really did. It's not that she's a bad person or anything... it's just that I can't be friends without her holding me back. I know I must sound really unloyal but I want a new group of friends, and fast! In time for 8th grade.
Luckily -- There's a possibility we won't be going to the same highschool. I'm willing to wait and all, because once I get there it'll be GREAT, but I just don't know what to do. What if we do end up going to the same highschool? Odds are we wouldn't have many classes together anyway.
Evidently I just need new friends, you don't know my past with her... and it's come to light that I really need to tell her. I can't just expect her to know why -- but how do I tell her?
How do I tell her the friendship should be cut off?
How can I branch out for friends in 8th grade?
(I go to a Private School so it's pretty small and not a lot of people, mostly just the same people that think I'm weird I think)
I want 8th grade to be perfect, I really do. So how can I make it that way?
--Many thanks!
No problem, just hang around new people :)
It can be easier if you think.
Have you heard about the celebrities that used to be shy and made fun of? But then they overcame all that and got what they wanted.
You can do that too.
Why wait until Highschool?
If you break off a 9-yr friendship, chances are, you'll get back together. Especially if you have previously like you explained. Just tell her by words from YOUR mouth. She doesn't wanna hear it from anyone on this website, 'kay?
And as for the 8th grade being perfect fling, what's up with that? Nothing is perfect, and if you make the year too, too perfect then you'll only miss it more. Especially since you'll be a freshman after unless you get held back or something.
any advice on how to masturbate and have an orgasm? i don't have anything that vibrates so that wont work. i have tryed some things but i would like to know more because i dont have orgasms. it is very frustrating!!!!!! plez help me if you can.
14/f. i have been on my period for over two years. if that helps any. umm.... websites and techniques will be appreciated. i am sorry if i sound a little mean. i have tried and tried and nothing. plez help a girl in need.
thx.
At Clitical.com, they have stories, techniques, and even "toys" you can order.
Much Luck.
why is it that when you love something you let it go? what the hell
If you truly love someone, and they need to leave because they want to, or feel it's for the best, you'll let them because you care enough for their needs.
Much Luck.
i dont really pay attention to ratings because i just started but i gave someone a detailed answer and he gave me a 3. its not so much his rating its his comment:
Thank you for your answer. I would give you a 4 but you didn't capitalize. Otherwise it was a good answer.
what does capitalizing have to do with anything?
Haha.
Capitalization?
Are you serious?
It sounds like he just wanted something to be mad at.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, it makes the site look less professional but, that's what happens when teens and kids are aloud on this website -- even adults. But if they only let adults on the website half of the US would have quite a few issues.
Yay Advicenators!
But yeah -- punctuation etc. shouldn't really matter.
Needless to say it's the ADVICE you give that counts!
Much Luck.
this is sort of stupid, but i have really small boobs, and im 5"1'. Im 13. okay..well...i don't even wear a cup size i just wear those sports bra things. Well, i want my boobs to look bigger and i want some cleavage..not a slut or anything. But i cant buy a push-up bra..or anything like that. I've pushed my boobs together, and it shows cleavage. What should i do?
Hehe. I think you accidentally hit 'answer question' instead of add additional information, it's okay; I do that, too ;) Nobody's Perfect. Oh great, now I have that song stuck in my head by Hannah Montana.
Okay anyway -- Sports Bras are pretty bad for helping you out with cleavage flaunting. Get the ones with underwire or something, you'd be surprised at how miraculous they really are because some come with extra padding to make you look bigger.
Maybe buy one with an adjustable strap, so it gets tighter and pulls the cleavage together to flaunt it.
You may wanna try it on first.
...
I can't tell you how many times I regret buying them because they either hurt & maybe leave marks, don't fit well, or just make it look bad.
Sports Bras make your boobs (aka ladies) sag over the course of the years. At 13, it's repairable (not that you need repair :-]) but once you're in your thirties I'd call it a tid-bit late :-/
Anyway, I hope I helped.
Other than that unfortunately, there's really nothing more you can do other than to be Proactive.
Much Luck.
hey i was wondering if anybody knew the song that is playing on the movie mean girls during the halloween party. it's like sort of techno-y. mucho gracias!
Yes, I know it.
Operate - Peaches
......
Much Luck.
Is it against the catholic Chrsitian culture to smoke pot?? Im not talking about any other drugs... Just pot. Is it considered a sin? or is it just wrong??
please answer this.
later.
I think it's just wrong.
If you lie about taking the drugs -- that's where it's sinning.
But there is a very fine line because you're disrespecting authority that tells you not to do that.
So in some ways yes -- it could be considered against it but not necessarily a huge Christianity deal compared to the other things people have done and will do.
Were you thinking about taking the drugs or something?
I advise you not to, but I shan't get into detail because I'm only insinuating.
Anyways, if pot is against the religion I'm pretty sure all drugs would be, too -- I mean, they're all drugs. So if other drugs aren't, then pot probably wouldn't be either.
However ::::::
Drug dealing is probably against the religion. Just thought I'd add that.
But I've never heard of drugs being against it necessarily, I think it's mostly when you lie about it, or stealing it because you can't get any with your own money. Or having someone else of age, or underage get it for you etc. That's all against the religion and sinning.
I'm sorry, I know my answer was confusing but hopefully you get the message. It's a debatable topic, really. So maybe talk to your parents and cleargy there will most likely be A LOT of different answers, lol.
Much Luck.
What are some good artists/ songs that are like:
- techno
- trance
- dance / club
- alternative
Thanks!
Oh my goodness, I'm like such a techno freak!!!
Techno
One More Time - Daft Punk
Sandstorm - Darude
Dance/Club
Everytime we Touch - Cascada
Miracle - Cascada
Alternative
Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayor
When you say Alternative do you mean Alternative Rock? If so, here's a list of some Alternative Rock artists.
You can visit this link to see them, I don't have the time to type it :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_alternative_rock_artists
I've looked over some of it (It's Wikipedia) because anyone can edit the information on Wikipedia so you have to be careful, but I'm pretty sure it's all Alternative Rock if that's what you mean.
Trance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Trance_music_groups
Sorry to give you links, there just aren't enough hours in the day.
Much Luck.
ok.. well that last couple of weeks me and my boyfriend have been getting in lots and lots of fights and I am going to camp for a week! can someone help me think of aa sweet and cute letter to write to him before I leave like saying that I am sorry for being a jerk ( which I have) and Im sorry about everything PLEASE HELP ME.
I need it ASAP!
THANK YOU soooo much
xoxox
Dear (Boyfriend's Name),
I know I've been rude and immature lately, but all in all we know each other all too well to mistake this for something bigger. You know I'm a good person, and I know you are, too. As many fights as we get in, as many insults are thrown, as many disagreements we have, if you don't know that I still have feelings for you, be honest with me. I do what I can do, and try at what I'm able to. So I guess that was just an expanded way of saying I'm Sorry. (Then you may want to mention what's going on in your camp etc. and ask him how he is and what's going on with him).
xOxO XoXo (Your Name)
Much Luck.
everytime when i shave my legs, afterwards you can see like the little hairs. it looks like a bunch of like black dots on my legs. i change my razor very often but i think it is just because my leg hair is dark. i hate nair it doesnt work and hurts! any tips?? thank you :)
Wanna know why Nair hurts so bad?
And why it doesn't work?
Well... most people don't wait until their leg hair is an inch and a half long to shave it off. But on the back of the Nair case thing it says it has to be in order to work. That's why it doesn't work.
It hurts because it burns the hair off, and it's bad for your skin. Yeah I know, hard to believe, right? Well it's true :[ I was going to try using it but I don't like those, it hurts really bad when you use VEET, too.
A really good technique I use is to take a Daisy RAZR (Disposable, you can replace the blades, it typically comes with like 6 or 7 of them I believe)., use some Skintimate, and to get the closest shave you can, shave in the opposite direction the hair grows from. Or whatever works best for you ;)
If you see the dots, (which a lot of people still do and there is nothing you CAN do) then just know that that's life and tons of other people get it.
Much Luck.
do i sound attractive to you?
i have 32C boobs,
not alot of stomach,
some thighs.
HUGE ASS. it's VERY big.
huge blue eyes.
black medium length hair.
no achne.
5'2"
my boyfriend of 1 month calls me sexy and pretty
but i dont know if he's jus saying that
to make me feel good about myself or what.
I'm a girl. You sound pretty.
But let's get something straight here.
This website is for advice.
You don't need any.
It sounds to me like you just want reasons to be bigheaded.
Do guys check you out?
Do they stare?
Are they afraid to talk to you?
Do the math by yourself.
You don't need anyone on this website who can't even see you to tell you you're pretty.
I'm sorry if I sound rude, but please. Let's save this site for people who really need help because, all in all -- you sound pretty. And if your boyfriend calls you pretty and sexy then why question it? After all... looks are a HUGE reason half the population is in a relationship right now ;)
Much Luck.
I'm a christian, have been my whole life.. but all of a sudden.. I fear it! I quickly walk past the pictures of Jesus in my living room, i can't bring myself to read the bible or anything.. i suspect im feeling guilty about several things in my life, so obviously i should just confess,, but i cant bring myself to do it! I cant pray anymore! Something is holding me back! What do I do? I dont want to lose my religion compltely!
First you have to figure out what's making you fear it. Have you commited sins you think you're unworthy for being forgiven about? Have you not been proud about your religion and feel ashamed?
Well you have another thing coming!
God does not want us to fear him, but he loves it when we pray and if you just prayed once to talk to him things would get a whole lot better. Maybe you haven't spoken to him in a while and you feel guilty about it. Although he doesn't always answer our prayers when they're for selfish needs I think he'd be glad this was in your prayers. He can make it so you're unafraid.
But I know how you feel, I had sinned recently, and I don't know why but that one just through me off and made me afraid. Afraid when there was no need to be afraid. But Jesus died for your sins, so there is no need to be ashamed of yourself as long as you truly repent and truly believe he died for your sins.
Now when you say you CAN'T pray... what exactly do you mean? Can't or won't? I think you feel badly about something you did and that burden makes you feel unworthy. But when you pray you can give that burden to Jesus, he'll take it away from you.
When you say you don't want to lose your religion completely, do you mean you wouldn't mind losing some of it? If so, figure out which parts are scaring you and which parts you're okay with.
Confess to God what you've done. You don't want this burden attacking you ever again.
Much Luck.
are there any branches of christianity that allow premarital sex or that are less strict about it? what about sex when you're engaged, is that ok?
In the Bible it states that having sex before you're married, even if you plan to BE married, is wrong. If you are willing to get engaged with someone, you should both be willing to wait for HoneyMoon or Wedding night, right? Sorry if I'm being too graphic; but that way you have something special between the two of you. There may be other branches of Christianity that allow it, but are somewhat wishy-washy. If they're Christians, they know the bible. And IN the bible it says to be married before losing your virginity. That pretty much says it all.
Much Luck.
There's this quote - "A girl should be so hidden in God that a boy has to search God to find her"
I believe in it, and I believe that if a boy has had to search God to find a girl, and while doing that - found God too, that they are meant to be, that God has a plan for the two of you.
Now the question is: how do you "hide in God" ?
How does a guy search God to find me? It doesn't really make sense to me.
Thanks!
I think that "Hiding in God" simply means you are very close to God. As in praying several times a day, giving to the poor, obeying the commandments etc. I think it means she has faith in him and she will only fall in love with the boy who can see that, is willing to respect that, and will worship God together.
Much Luck.
ok this will probably sound really silly... but i think i might be pregnant, im 17 and i have never had sex... but me and my bf have fooled around semi naked within the last 3weeks... my period is 2weeks late. now what is the probability that i might be pregnant?? help im really worried and i have told my mum about my period being late but she doesnt know about the bf stuff.
any help would bee greatly appreciated asap!
thanks xxxx
Mhm. No, honey, no. Unless sperm can into contact with your vagina, that can't happen. Did you get sperm on your fingers or vag then place your fingers down there? If so, it's entirely possible you may be pregnant.
But there's always another possibility. Did you get your first period around the age of 16? Because if so, your periods can be irregular for the first year or so, so don't freak.
I would say there's a 50%/50% chance you could be pregnant, depends on your contact with him. Did he ejaculate inside of you? If you don't know you might wanna warn your mom ahead of time... at least before someone shouts "Here comes the head!" Sorry, I'll be serious now.
Anyway, yeah. Let your boyfriend know, let your parents know just incase. They should know anyway but I think you should make sure you're pregnant first before you go giving them nightmares and they get frustrated with you :-/ Or if your boyfriend breaks up with you for that, which he'd be a jerk to do. So yeah -- go buy one of those things that tells you if you're pregnant or not. (I'm not sure what it's called). But you can find them in drug stores, I'm sure you've heard of them.
Much Luck.