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mmmm
society tells us that having premarital sex is wrong, (risk of pregnancy, stds...) but also emotionally, that you cant handle a breakup after you lose your virginity to someone, it changes your life forever, etc. I know all of that, but is it true with EVERY SINGLE relationship that if you have premarital sex, it'll drive you two apart and you'll eventually break up. How wrong is it to have sex in highschool (only with 1 person of course and you keep it between yourself.) my boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months and I want to have sex with him eventually but I'm afraid it'll make us break up... why does that happen? like think back in the 1940's, if you got pregnant both of you would drop out of highschool and GET MARRIED...why cant it be like that these days?
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If you have premarital sex it won't cause you to break up. Not every relationship is the same. Mabey some people will breakup but they probably would have broken up even if they didn't have sex. Hope I helped!
much love
~*~Natalie~*~
plz rate :)
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BECAUSE GUYS THINK WITH THEIR PENISES. Wouldnt it be nice if it worked that way though? Unfortuntly times have changed. But I agree with you actually. I dont know how true the "having premarital sex will drive you apart" is. But I will say that personally I think that one of my old boyfriends and I broke up because we had sex, and I honestly dont think I go one single day without thinking of him and we broke up like 6 months ago, so maybe it is true?
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probaby because there arnt any jobs that you can make a living off of without a highschool deploma. that and you would have no where to live because you have to have a constant payment source.
thats what I think
always-
SLeK
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Sex won't make you break up, but it might complicate things. I think it makes people stay in relationships longer than they sometimes should, because they're afraid of losing that connection, even if the relationship becomes based on sex. It also has health risks (which I'm sure you're aware of), and you can be faced with life-changing situations that you can really regret later in life. There's a reason people don't get married at 17 anymore: you have a lot of cool, single, independent life to live, and you won't be happy if you miss out on all that and marry young.
There are worse things you can do than have sex, but I'd urge you to hold off until after high school. I'm sure you love your boyfriend now but at your age, you change so much every year that it's hard to keep the same feelings for one person through everything you go through, and then you might regret not being a virgin when you're older and the man you want to marry really does come around.
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Premarrital sex isn't wrong!!!!!
Sex doesn't ruin every SINGLE relationship!! It will only spoil it if you let it. It will be spoilt if someone does somehting immature....
If both you and your boyfriend are both ready and are in a steady relationship then I see nothng wrong with it. Communicate and make sure that your boyfriend is comfortable and that you are too.
USE PROTECTION!!!!!!
Remember having sex is a big step and make SURE that you are ready.
People break up because of lots of reasons! Nerves, lies, immaturity etc.
Do what your heart tells you, but I hope I have been able to guide in the right direction and answered your question?!
Gwilwillithxx
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It happened that way for me. Wasn't the 40's though... not THAT old! That is why I told my daughter this. Don't have sex with someone that IF the worse happened and you got pregnant he wouldn't care enough to marry you. Not that I would expect her to marry if it happened but, that is just a good way to judge in your head if it is worth doing. Feelings should be that strong on both sides.
I don't think having sex is what breaks people up. I think it forms a bond... a real emotional one (for girls anyway). Making the breakup somehow more devastating. I mean you trusted someone with your entire heart, right and body. At least that it how it should be. These days some have made it something you do with just anyone and it is no big deal. I personally don't care for the carefree attitude. It should be with someone special...even if it doesn't last forever. And even if it isn't the first time. If you wait for the special one then chances are greater that it WILL last and not cause a break up.
The reason most people don't get married due to pregnancy these days is because society doesn't frown on it like they used to. In the 40s you spoke of it wasn't a matter of just dropping out. You were ( females anyway) kicked out. Wouldn't want other girls to get ideas I guess. I got pregnant in 75 and it wasn't quite as bad as that then but hadn't gotten to the point it is today. Which is basically anything goes. It is just a matter of whats acceptable to society at the time. Unfortunately marriage itself is so throw away at the moment. Divorce is to easy. People just don't try anymore. I am sure this is much more info than you wanted or needed! I hope your answers are in there somewhere. Sorry for the novel! :)
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To be honest the first thing that strikes me about you is that you are a very responsible young person an that you always think about the consequences before you do anything.... this alone tells me that if you decide to divulde in pre-marital sex that you won't be doing it irresponisibly.
Depending on your faith there are lot's of "Do's" and "Dont'D"
It amkes no difference what you believe in of whatyour parents force upon you. As long as you take into consideration your future everytime you think about going against what they've said, and it's what YOU want then you shouldn't have a problem with it.... at the end of the day "Viva el Dia" - Live for the day!!!
Take Care
Mel
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Hey, it cant be like that because now days guys do it for fun and not because they really love the girl. If you really love him then I guess go for it, but It depends on how old you are because most people dont know what love is!
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sex doesn't mean the same to girls as it does to guys. you think you're in love, and you're willing to drop out of high school and get married at your age (which is wrong in itself, though still legal) but to him, it's just a guy who wants some. it won't be kept just between you! and the majority of the time, it does break up the relationship. what's so wrong about waiting for marrige? you're almost old enough to get married, so if you think that you love him enough to have sex now, then shouldn't that be love enough to want to get married? true love does wait. and if you have sex now, then when you do get married (IF you get married) then by the wedding you'll be bored with sex, and the marital relationship will suffer. just wait a while. it is worth it.
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anonymous -
I can tell you straight up that every couple that has premarital sex DOESN'T ALWAYS break up.
The reason why a lot of couples split in the end is because as you know, sex changes everything. Once you have sex, the whole relationship might revolve around sex, which you DO NOT want.
What also tends to happen is that one partner is not satisfied with the sex, and wanders to find satisfaction in another place.
And sometimes, people break up because of other reasons, not based on the sex.
If you want to have sex with your boyfriend, you have to talk to him about it. That's the only way you'll know each other's input on the subject. If you are still hesitant, wait a couple more months, or even years. This wait will prove that your boyfriend loves you enough in order to wait this long, and that sex isn't his top priority.
Having sex in high school with a single partner isn't necessarily bad, but since teens are still too young to sometimes grasp the facts of life, it's labeled as something wrong. Sex, shouldn't JUST be sex, it should be MAKING LOVE, which is very intimate, loving, and personal...not based on lust.
Hope this helps.
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times change unfortunitly. but i guess having it in someones mind then they make it happen, its mind over matter i suppose. it doesnt always happen that way. and it would be pretty bad if that many people dropped out of school. it just depends on the person/couple. sry i couldn't help more.
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Pregnancy is serious. You may not think so right now but if it ends up happening to you then you would understand. Research about it. Sex has nothing to do with breakups. With or without sex people will break up. Some may not if truely in love. So no its not true that EVERY SINGLE relationship will end up apart. Some acually might. Because soem guys && girls are jerks. If you and your boyfriend want to have sex then go for it but I dont think it will cause you to break up after. Im glad its not the same as back ib 1940's. Back then that was normal but now its not. We know better then that and most of those marriges didnt work out. They ended up short some with abuse. ♥ xO`
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sex will start a spiral of events if your not careful or lucky..its easy (lazy) to imagine that everything will work out easy and perfect-try to picture the consequences of your action.
pregnancy (don't fantize about it, research it!)
bad reputation (dont imagine the best scenerio-imagine the worst!)
dropping out of highschool (no college) hello minium wage $5.25 hour
marraige (how many parents do you know that pay for a nice teenager wedding?) graduate college, get engaged and they can't wait to marry you.
apartments you qualify for, you would not want to live in.
WELFARE-its not the lottery and you can only collect for 5 yrs during your lifetime.
You're not missing anything in your relationship, life or boyfriend by waiting to have sex until your older, and hopefully engaged or married.
PS it takes a year or more to get down to the real personality of someone-have you shared all your dreams/hopes with him? Could you ask your posted question to him? if not then sex is a very bad idea
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because society has changed for the better. majority of those mariages never worked out and often ended in abuse. people today have learned from past mistakes. dont do it seriously wait longer untill you are 100% sure
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Premarrital sex has been accepted now days as the "norm." I believe that you should not have sex until marriage, but mainly it's your decision. Keep in mind that if your parents find out, you will never see a guy until you're twenty-one. A friend of mine had sex with this guy she was dating, and they got caught by a cop, mainly because the guy is stupid and didn't pick a good place to screw, but that's besides the point. She is only a sophmore in high school and she can't even go out with her friends because her parents are upset over her having sex at such an early age. I believe that sex so early in your life is not a good thing, emotions get tied up into it and the realtionship becomes emotional even if it is only the begionning of the relationship. Now the whole "if you have sex you will break up" thing is not entirely true, but I think what everyone is trying to tell you is that emotions get involved and IF the relationship ends, you will feel horribly for doing what you did with that person, and you will feel used or that it wasn't worth it. Now days you can't drop out of highschool and get married and live happily ever after. These days you need to be in school just to secure yourself a low income job. You practically need a degree to get any income at all that's not illegal. Having a kid and/or a husband while in school is really hard to do. I would rethink the sex thing at 7 months. You haven't been together long enough in order to go that far with your relationship. I would at least wait a year until I did anything and even then I wouldn't have sex. Your best bet is to try and keep your hormones under control and resist the urge to have sex. You aren't far enough along in life to be having sex yet and you really haven't been with the guy long enough to comfortably give yourself to him. So that's my advice, and I hope it helps you some.
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It won't break a relationship, but it can.
Sometimes, you do get married. But the marriages often get strained. This happened to my uncle. When he was sixteen, and his gf fifteen, she got pregnant. They had it rough for a while, but now things are working out. They have three kids now. But they lost a lot of dreams.
Unless you feel ready to handle the possible consequences, don't do it. And if you do, please protect yourself.
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Why can't it be the same way as the 40s?
Because we are smarter then that, the world has changed.
Now to answer your real question. Why don't people drop out of school and get married. Because its really really dumb. Highschool drop outs, at the age of 16 or 17 even, are not even legal adults in this age. They cannot possibly earn enough money to survive the way they once could but are still dependant on thier families for support.
Does premerital sex break-up relationships? Thats really a matter of opinion. I would say no, sex itself doesn't destroy a relationship but it brings all of the issues of trust and love to the forground. If there are any problems, they will only get more serious after having sex. Of course many people have premartial sex and still get married and live happily ever after.
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