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My Best Friend
I'm really attracted to my friend. Hes 17 years old and is a total hottie. I really would love to spend the rest of my life with him. He gives me chills down my spine to see him happy and when hes sad it kills me ... literaly. The only thing is, that is stopping me from being with him, is my religion. In my religion it is against my code to have sex with another male. What do you think i should do? I really want to be with him and have sex with him but when i do i feel bad... help please. im an 18 year old male. Weve known each other for 5 years now. please help.
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You are clearly in love. And above all things, there is love, according to God. The Greeks broke down love in three catagories. Eros, Falleo, and Agape. Eros being the sensual, lustful love. Its where we get the word erotic. Falleo being deep brotherly love. Much like the love of companionship and togetherness. And then Agape. Pronounced a-gaup-pay. This is the "I love you so much, I will die for you" love. Zealots compare agape to Jesus on the cross. Sociologists compare agape to a mother and child. Keep in mind, the Greek philosophers came centuries before our modern religions. They had gods, but love was supreme.
You and I are just a speck in time. You were born gay, and in ancient Greece you would be accepted. Your question is no different from the dozens of others male teens who write to this website about their desires towards teenage girls. Please, avoid feelings of self loathing or guilt. You will be encountering many more serious controversies soon. Be comforted that thousands of years ago there was a Greek male that went the same delimmas that you are having today.
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Religion should be very important now...but on the other side you are 18...you can follow what ever relgion you want...if you really love him then i say do whats right... if you are sick of this religoin its ok...your 18 your not under your moms rules now...she may be disapionted but i think over time she will forgive you
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ok so you really want to have sex with him right. so who gives a crap about your religion just go do it with him and tell your parents, i dont give a crap about my religion i want to have sex with the man i love. i hope it works. write me back and tell me if it works.
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Hmm this is tough. It all depends on weither you want to choose religion or happiness. Personaly, i`m not a religious person so i`d go w/ happiness but it all depends on where you stand.
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Religion is important, but most people start questioning their beliefs during their teens and early twenties. Most beliefs are pushed onto children by their parents or church, rather than coming naturally to the child themself.
I'm not sure what your religious persuasion is, but I can say that religion is a manmade thing. Men write the holy books, reign over the churches, and claim to interpret God's wishes for us.
Only we can know where we stand with those things. Most major religions will have gay or lesbian contingents - and many gays or lesbians, myself included, leave the church they were raised in and find another.
I can say that it's not wrong to love somebody, no matter what is between their legs. Love is about communication and laughter and trust, and those are things which transcend boundaries.
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Well. Does he want to have sex with you too? Because if he's straight and doesn't, then it won't work anyway. If he does, go for it. Fuck religion if it messes up your life, it's not worth having.
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screw your religion. if you really like this guy then just go for it! of course i'm straight and a prefer oppposite sex relationships, but if you really like your friend that much, then just forget about your religion and take advantage of this.
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Don't deny love - go foR it! =D
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Think about how your religion is discriminating against your feelings of love for another person, male, female, black, white, christian, jewish. Is it ok for your religion to tell you who it is ok to love and who it is not. Whatever your religion is, certain chapters are more flexible in certain areas such as homosexuality. Follow your heart and don't worry about your religion. Being happy is important because you only get one life. Not everyone cna find love and you should consider yourself lucky enough to find it and not let anyone or anything stand in your way.
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Think about your religion first. If you think, okay, maybe i should do this, go ahead and do it. I think it's great that you want to be with him and want him to be happy, but just give it a little time. Its up to you to decide this. Keep thinking and follow your heart. Good luck!
~Cayd
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DUDe thats so sick i dont think you should have well do it until you are married but dont get any ideas that you should get married you are only 18 you are still young you have your whole life to do that stuff WHEN YOU ARE OLDER
Nicky*nick
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"I really would love to spend the rest of my life with him. He gives me chills down my spine to see him happy..." This is one of the more mature descriptions of love I've read on this site. If the only reason this feels "wrong" is because your religion teaches that it's wrong, then maybe you should reconsider your religion. Personally, I don't think there's anything "bad" about what you're doing/feeling - it's your religion that has a problem (but I have a pretty strong personal bias). If you are a Christian, there are many Christian sects that do not condemn homosexuality and welcome people like you into the church without making you feel bad about who you are. Remember that the Bible repeatedly demonstrates God's love, care, and acceptance of all outcast, rejected, misunderstood, and alienated people, and that it gives positive support for same-sex couples such as Ruth&Naomi and Daniel&Jonathon. Any passages in the Bible used to condemn gays are gross mistranslations, or used out of contect. I could ramble on and on about this but I'll stop unless you contact me for more information.
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I have to say that I feel for you in your situation where your religion is in conflict with your feelings. Because you are this religious, I am sure one thing you'll want to do is pray. I am not sure what religion you may be from, but a friend of mine was recently in such a situation. She had to overcome a lot concerning family and her beliefs, but overall she realized that religion is a system set up by man. Everyone has a different interpretation of whatever text their religion follows.
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My friend's religion believes in God, as does she - but she finally realized that God was forgiving, and wanted her to be happy. Old prejudices against certain lifestyles can't change how you feel, and certainly I find nothing wrong with your feelings. Seriously think about what is important to you. You can't simply decide not to have feelings for this friend of yours, and should never feel guilty about your feelings just because others don't agree with it. Personally, the way you feel is exactly what anyone, male or female, straight or not, wants to feel. This is a personal thing concerning you and your friend, and you have felt something special that no one should be able to get in the way of.
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I apologize if my advice was abit jumbled, but if you'd like to talk more please IM me, email me, or leave a message in my inbox and I'd be glad to help.
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If you are a religious person, then the best thing for you to do is pray about it. Though homosexuality may be against your religion, you have to remember that the rules of religion were set by man. They all depend on how man interprets the Bible (or whatever doctrine you follow). I think there is at least one thing that we can all agree on, and that's that God wants us all to be happy. If the only way for you to be truly happy is to be with this man, then perhaps it's your religion that's wrong and not your heart. God has given us the gift of free will and the ability to love, do with it what you will.
I hope this helps and if you have any other questions, feel free to drop them in my inbox.
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Hmm .. well, you could either do what your religion tells you to do or do what YOU want to do.
Even super religious people do // have done things that are against their religion and "wrong" according to the church. Honestly, I think you should just do what will make you happy. I'm not going to make a decision for you // say what you should do, because ultimately you'll be the one deciding what you're going to do.
Good luck with everything =)
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Well,in pretty much EVERY religion it's againist the code to have sex with another male. The thing here is you need to talk to your friend about how you feel. You can't be scared to tell him no matter what he might say. If he doesn't like you in that way and he's a true friend,then he'll find some kind of way to let you down easy. You didn't say if you were bisexual or just gay,but I'm assuming you're just gay. If you're not gay,then please give this some more thought and make sure this isn't just a fantasy you may be having.
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yes religion is a big thing. but if you really do care for your friend and you think things could work out than go for him. i think your happiness should be your main concern, whether that seems selfish or not, its true. if people cant except you for who you are and see that they are happy, then they are not worth your time. this is about you and you being happy and with the person you love.
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dear anonymous-
it must be hard in your place in times like these. religion and love are two huge things in peoples' lives and i think one couldnt overpower the other. if you are a strong believer in your religion, maybe you should stick to your religious beliefs and not get too serious with your boy friend. but if you two have such a strong connection, you shouldnt have to hide your love for one another. dont make any quick decisions, and talk to your friend as well.
hope the advice helped! -ask_anything
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well i don't think it's a good idea to go against your religion? whatever it is..but i mean if he really loves you, then do what you think is right. it sounds like you really love him, but i mean does he know you like him as more then a friend?-i guess what i'm tryin to say is, is he comfortable with same sex relationships? no one on here can really tell you what to do..if i were you, i'd follow my heart and it looks like your heart is leading to him. maybe you could talk to your parents?..about the religion thing. but other then that i really dont know what to tell yah..sorry hun..hope this helps a little =)
xO`Lexi
good luck!! if you need anything else, i'm here
[plz rate me] =)
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When your 18 can't you switch your religion or something? Other than that I don't know what to tell you! Good luck
-xXoBrianna
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if your religion is that important to you than maybe you shouldn't, but i know that if you are catholic or whatever, jesus supposidly died on the cross for our sins and if thats like the only sin you make, sleeping with a guy, then your probably making a hell of a lot less sins than some preists i know.
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I know what it's like to get chills when your around someone you have feelings for, and I don't think you should just hide your feelings forever.
I'm not a religious person, and I don't think it's right that your religion should make you feel like it's a sin to have feelings for another guy.
If you don't decide to be with your friend, then you will probably regret it for the rest of your life. There's no way you are going to be happy if you hide the person that you are, and you can't always just pick and choose who you fall in love with.
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TO: My Best Friend
i cant reallie help you much there coz ive nebe reallie had experience with uhhh...people like you...buh i gess the most you can do is watch from a distance or tell him...altho thah second one mite totallie scare him off...buh if thahs how ya feel and like ya well ya cant change thah rite? soooooo do wat ya wanna er think is best...ya noe?
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