Name is Layne, age is 17, occupation is babysitter. still answering questions on here even after 3 years is awesome, right? no, just proves i don't have a life. so. if you have a question, feel free to ask it on here or you can IM me on my screenname. i can answer most questions about the categories i have listed. i don't know much about sickness or physical health, or stuff to wear when your husband just died but the man who killed him, whom you're having an affair with, is going to be at the funeral. :) have a wonderful day.
Gender: Female
Location: Nashville
Occupation: Chimney sweep
Age: 17
AIM: laynemayhem15
Member Since: November 19, 2007
Answers: 744
Last Update: August 15, 2020
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21/f I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now with no problems, except my boyfriend's crazy cousin. At the beginning of our relationship we got close, then she became a little crazy and always seems to have a problem. Long story short I drifted away from her a bit after a few freak outs she had on me for no reason; now it's extremely uncomfortable to be around her since we don't talk as much. Recently she invited my boyfriend out to a party in front of me and didn't mention inviting me at all, something she would have talked to me about had we been closer like before. It really upsets me, and my boyfriend agrees she's very rude. Should I talk to him about confronting her behavior? Or have him say something to her? She's just blatantly rude to me. Thanks! (link)
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Could it be possible she's jealous of how close you are to her cousin? Were they close before you were around? Even if she's not involved in the taboo way, she could be jealous. Especially now that she realizes you're not going anywhere anytime soon.
If I were you, I'd talk to her myself. Be like "I've done nothing to deserve this treatment from you, I feel like there is a personal vendetta I'm not aware of," blahblahblah. If all else fails, have your boyfriend talk to her.
And if you guys don't wind up getting along just swimmingly, oh well! You tried. Plus, in the end it's really only the immediate family's opinion that counts. Screw her. :)
Hope I helped!
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Almost 3 weeks ago I decided to take a breakfrom talking to my best friend because things werent going very good between us. He has a girl friend so he only talks to me when it's convenient for him, like I'm a last resort. He went like 3 days without any simple hello text or anything just because he was so busy with her, it just bothered me and he doesn't seem to realize that our friendships Falling apart. Fast forwarding to the point, after about 4-5 days of us not talking he texts me sayIng "You still alive out there?" (which is usually the first thing he says when we haven't talked in awhile) the next day "so I'm assuming you're dead" the next day "okay this is the last time I'm gonna try talking :/" then about a week passes and day before yesterday I get another text "can you atleast tell me why you arent talking to me anymore" and then last night a message on Facebook saying "so uhm...why exactly are you ignoring me?"
I just want to know what all this means, I thought maybe he'd think about things over this time period and realize something, or maybe fight for our friendship. I don't know if these messages mean he cares or what..3 weeks is up in 3 days and I'm going to text him and I'm going to have to come up with some sort of explanation for why I haven't talked to him..which idk what I'm gonna say or if I should apologize or what. But my main reason for this question was to ask what his texts and messages mean, he's thinking about me and obviously he does care?
Anything helps, please and thank you.
Thank you for your time.
-18/f (link)
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I don't know what you're confused about. It is apparent to me that he wants to talk to you, he misses you, etc..
If I were you, I'd stop ignoring him. At least tell him why you aren't talking to him. But just dropping off the face of the earth will have him thinking the worst; that you ran away, you're dead, etc.. And that's just not what friends do.
You need to realize that yes, he's your friend, but his girlfriend is important, too. You're not a last resort. You're a friend. He wants to spend time with a girl that he really likes, and who likes him. Shouldn't you be happy for him, instead of ignoring and worrying him?
Not trying to be rude, but you're being ridiculous in my opinion. He cares about your friendship. But you're not his only priority. That's selfish thinking. This is just what happens when friends get significant others; they talk to their friends less. It doesn't mean they don't care, it just means something else has their attention. But he could break it off with this girl in a matter of a few months, but you, (the friend) you'll always be a part of his life. If you had a boyfriend, you probably wouldn't be talking to him as much as you used to, would you?
Stop ignoring him. He obviously cares if he's texted you four days in a row asking where the hell you are.
I hope I helped, and once again, I apologize for any rudeness that may have occurred in this response. Take care.
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Hey, this might be long (very sorry but all relevant). I am at university at the moment, at my second year living in a small house with a friend I met at the start of last year. Last year was great! I made so many friends and I met this man who I am now with, but it didn't start too good.
See, he used to call me and say we'll go out, so I'd get dressed up and wait and wait and wait, but he'd ignore my calls for about a month and a half, then randomly he would get back in touch.
I know my friend hated knowing I was in my room crying over him but now were together he explained he liked me and he was afraid of both being hurt and hurting me (which made me laugh in retrospect) anyway we are fine and happy now, looking forward to a future together.
My only problem is the girl I'm living with hates him, she's forbidden him from entering the house and speaks badly about him constantly. He tried to be polite and talk to her but she's snubbed him at every chance so now he hates her too. I think that her problem is mostly that she's afraid of him (a few of my friends are cautious) because were all from the same happy fortunate world while he has had a tough life and in that sense is a polar opposite from us. She also seems to be a bit racist which may play a part as well!
Either way, it's so hard hearing them say how If I cared about one or the other id put them first when I care about them both!
It isn't helped by my home situation, where my mother and father are recently divorced, my mother has turned her back on all my siblings who have tried to be civil with my dad, which makes me so upset even though he did us all wrong and turned away from us, I still want to have even a basic relationship with him but know I can't because It would hurt my mother so much...
I was hoping going back to university would get me away from those ultimatum conversations but it led me right into even harder ones! Oh and the reason I can't go to his house is because he lives in a very rough neighbourhood doesn't want me where I can get hurt.
I don't know how to talk to her about letting him stay with ME, she says she wants nothing to do with him but he's coming to see ME not her. I don't want to be a bitch to her but I feel like she's controlling my life (and I'm not the only one to feel this way with her either!). Any advice on dealing with people like this and convincing her to let him stay with me would be welcome, thankyou x (link)
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No, she's not being fair to you. But for good reason. Whether he didn't want to get hurt, or hurt you, or whatever, that's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard. That's no excuse to not answer someone's phone calls and to not come and hang out with them when you made plans. Whether you guys are cool now or not, that was NOT okay and the fact that he had a "rough life" isn't an excuse, either. He sounds like an asshole, and I would forget about him.
I doubt you're going to do that, though, so in the meantime, accept your roommate's wishes. If she's uncomfortable having him in the house, well that's that. You may try talking to her, letting her know that he'll only be in your room, not wondering around the house all up in her business. And if he is talking trash about her, that's not cool either. She good reason to hate him, he was a jerk. She was just standing up for you and now he hates her because she cares about you, you see that, don't you?
As far as letting him stay, like I said, try and talk to her. Come to some sort of agreement. Maybe tell her that if she won't let him come over, then you'll just have to find a new roommate. Or you could stay with him. Its a little shady to not want someone to come to your house just because its not a great neighborhood. Newsflash: No neighborhood is safe anymore. Jaycee Dugar's parents moved her to a place they assumed was safe and she went missing for 18 years. Long story short, he'll be there to protect you, and you're not a baby, so why shouldn't you be aloud to hang out there? That might be your only option at this point. Unless there is another reason he doesn't want you there...in that case, just work on things with your roommate. This guy could be gone in a few months but she's your friend. She's not trying to be cold, she's looking out for you. And that's what counts.
I hope I helped.
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OK here goes nothing. I have this friend (best friend) ive known since i moved to califonia. I was 13 then, im 23 now. We're still friends and she has my godson. In a nutshell.. I've done everything for this girl. watched her son for free, skipped appts to take her places. Basically helped out whenever she needed me to. She's helped me out too but not half as much as i have with her. I moved away for 3 and a half years (2 and a half hours away)... and now ive come back and its been a little over a year. I finally get to see my godson etc etc etc... ANYWAY...so ive bent over backwards for this girl.
Back to what i was getting at...Lately i have been noticing that she never hits me up unless its to go somewhere with her.. because she "doesnt want to go by herself".. wtf?!?! ok.. ive done everything but now its hitting me like a ton of bricks. For example: i ACCIDENTALLY broke something of hers that costs approx. $150.00 and i told her i would repay her.. as soon as i can. Now .. not to mention she knows im filing for bankruptcy and the transmission on my car is sitting in the trunk of my car...waiting to be A. fixed or B. voluntary repossessed AND SHE KNOWS ABOUT THESE THINGS!!!! so the thing i accidently broke was her boyfriends and im pretty sure hes going through her to get through to me to pay, BBUUUTTTTT before any of THIS happened.. ive noticed ive been feeling "used" by her..
we all know what that feels like at some point... right??? well im no stranger to it.. just because im a nice person and i wear my heart on my sleeve...it seems that people (even my BF) want to walk all over me.
She is moving with her boyfriend and her son (my godson) 45 minutes away. Now when i moved people would say "oh yea ill come visit you.. " yada yada yada etc etc etc... BLAH!!! yea right!... 2 people not including my best friend came to see me ONCE!!! now she said this the other day and i quote. "yea people said they would come to see me, make a special trip to come out"... i replied "do you know how many times ive heard that before??".. she says "well just goes to show who nyour true friends are".. are you f**** kidding me?... well then honey.. your not my true friend like i thought you were..
please tell me your opinion on this.. i know i may not have been very clear on what this whole situation is about.. but i need some clarity on what i should do. sorry i wrote so much.. this is the first time im talking about it... (link)
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I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. my friend and i have been friends for about 13 years and let me tell you, it won't get any better. i've talked to her. i've explained to her how she treats me and how i feel used, it never gets through.
what i would do if i were you? just end it. right there. pay her back whatever you owe her and NOTHING more. even if you talk to this girl, she'll never change. people say that they can change, but guess what? they don't. i understand you might wanna see your godson, and you guys have a lot of history..whatever. but none of that matters. you sound like a damn good friend. and damn good friends do not deserve to be walked all over. i've been letting people walk all over me my entire life and i recently decided to make it stop. i'm sick of being treated like shit, aren't you? i'd end it there and then. maybe she'll get the picture and change, then that would be cool. right now, she is not the type of person you need in your life. you have enough on your plate without your so-called "friend" stressing you out.
hope i helped, and take care.
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I have a best friend or so i thought he was and something happened between us and now were not as close. he knows a secret that involves me and he wont tell me what it is about. I know its silly to get into a fight over this its just that he told me he cant tell me because he doesnt want to break the trust of the person who told him. but he told somebody else about it and she told me what he said. So he lied and is being a hypocrite about not telling secrets. this may seem like a dumb thing to get into a fight over but this isnt the first time hes done something like this. My other best friend can't stand him becuase she thinks hes a bad person and after what he did now i'm starting to believe her. He's a bad person and we haven't spoken in a week and we normally text everyday. I don't know what to do. (link)
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first off, he's not a bad person. he just made a bad mistake. and as friends, you guys need to be able to be honest with eachother. this includes you. you need to confront him. ask him why he didn't tell you but told someone else. its the only thing thats going to solve this. you guys just need to talk it out. everyone has either done something or has a friend that has done something stupid to jeopardize a good bond between friends, but it works out in the end if someone is willing to cop to it, say that they did something wrong. and its the other friend's job to forgive them.
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Alright, this may be very long but I will try to shorten it as much as possible.
My life right now, kind of confusing and very frustrating. I'm going insane! It has to do with a lot of issues.
First and foremost, my ex boyfriend. He took a lot out of me. He was 8 years older than me (im 19) and even though we loved each other it was a bad relationship.
I dont know if any of you know about "The Secret", a film about happiness, but I was a strong advocator and supported of the belief that we all need to be happy. Ever since 10th grade I have been a happy, upbeat, smiling person. Nothing phased me, I gave lots of advice here to others about happiness. Then I met him and my days and nights revolved around him. He made it that way. He was a broken person and I have the kind of personality that I need to help people. So I stayed with him and took so much shit to the point where it was an emotionally abusive relationship to me. Finally, about 4 weeks ago, I ended it. It was much needed and very very hard, and I am recovering. I lost my zest, I lost part of my personality. I started dating him when I was 17 and I never got to experience young love. I was thrown into a mature relationship with no experience. Its so incredibly f***ed up that I did that to myself. And I do take blame for it.
Anyway, now I'm in recovery and I'm trying to bring the old me back, but I'm starting to realize that that person may already be far gone. I will never be the same and now I have to figure out the new person that I have become. Which is confusing. I know what I want in life, and my future, I'm a dreamer, but I don't know why I cant bring my old spark and happiness back. I'm not exactly unhappy. But I'm not happy either.
Then there's another issue. One of my best friends. Our history goes something like this:
Weve been friends since 8th grade, and now were in college and weve gone through a lot. we were literally polar opposites on the surface but intellectually we matched perfect. The thing is, I was always the preppy, kinda girlie one, and she was the dark, gothic one. never really cared about her looks. she even called herself manly. In 8th grade that was our style. Weve both changed a great amount since then. I used to be very shy, now I am very outgoing. I became girlie, I played soccer and enjoyed Spanish music and was very positive and always happy. She changed as well. Her style became girlie, and she did away with all her darkness. But the problem is her changing was influenced by me. which would be fine, except shes adopting not only the style of music and clothes that I liked, but also my personality. It drove me crazy. She saw me do or wear something, and she did the same thing. I couldnt really say anything i mean it seemed very petty but it became more than a superficial thing. She copied my mannerisms and my reactions, all my tastes and dislikes. She becoming me. This was in high school. The only thing she couldn't have that I did was a boyfriend. But imagine not being able to be unique or tell someone you do anything without having someone else say yeah I do that too.
Now we went to college and I distanced myself from her. I wanted her to become her own person. I mean she even chose the same major as me even though it didn't fit her personality at all. It was ridiculous. The first semester in college she wanted a relationship while I was secretly struggling to get rid of mine. She got one now, with a man that is 10 years older than her....The point is now shes becoming her own person because shes spending more time with him, thank god! But i feel guilty for not wanting to share every aspect of my life with her for fear she will try to adopt it. For example, modeling. Its something I have always been into, and kind of doing but not really. I am a tall girl and have every opportunity to model. She is not, but she is very beautiful and decided she wanted to model as well and is now doing it. It really is driving me insane to the point where I don't feel like I exist on my own. I don't feel unique, or like anything. I don't know what to do with myself or my life. I need some serious advice! Thank you so much for reading all of this!
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i have an idea that might sound kind of scary, but it'll all work out in the end, trust me. you said you're in college? i'm guessing you'll be finishing your sophomore year. if i'm wrong, forgive me. anyway, here's my idea:
when you finish this year, move to a completely different state. could be a border state, could be two states away, just somewhere completely new to you. doing this, you'll move somewhere where no one knows you. you'll be able to start all over. and you'll get the chance to come together with who you want to be, emotionally, personally, etc. you can create a brand new you, or keep the "you" that you are, that no one knows.
this is a bit drastic, yes. but you sound like you need change. your best friend is copying everything about you. theres no possible way that you could renew yourself with her being a shadow. you just got over a bad relationship. starting at a new school may be a bit difficult, true, but you'll get through it as long as you're strong enough. and i believe that you'll obtain that strength with getting the hell away from wherever you're at.
its just a suggestion, but think about it. and take care!
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Okay, So I have this friend who I've known since 7th grade. I'm now in 12th grade (and I'm a girl btw) and my friends and I seriously don't like her. We are constantly complaining about her "know-it-all" attitude and the fact that she tinks she is better than the rest of us. My friends and I have talked and we feel she is a toxic personality, and we don't wnat to be her friends anymore. The only problem is, she doesn't have many other friends and I'd feel extremely bad "getting rid of her". She was bullied all through elementary school so I feel like she doesn't have good personal skills, or maybe she is mirroring that bully mentality on us. I really am sick of her being so rude and childish. How can I get rid of her without feeling absolutely awful? (There's no way I can go another year with her. I might blow up at her which I don't want to happen.) (link)
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sit her down and have a heart-to-heart with her. tell her to either listen to what you have to say, or go away (the direct approach will get her attention). what i also recommend, is while talking to her, it'll soften it up a bit if you lie a little. say things like "you know i love you" or "you're a really good friend of mine" etc. those may not be totally true at this point, but it'll let her know that you care. tell her that you love her to death, or whichever softening phrase you wish, but her attitude has gotten to be very intolerable. explain to her your side. tell her how she's been acting and what toll its taken on your friendship. ask her to try and change the way she acts. and tell her that if something doesnt change soon, you don't think you'll be able to be friends with her anymore. this is being direct, but again, softening it up a bit. sugarcoating it, if you will. she'll realize, after having been told all this, that not only is she about to lose her only friends, but she's not a very enjoyable person. after talking to her, give it some time. see if she changes. give it a week, or give it three days. the time span is your choice, since this was your ultimatum. if she changes the way she acts, you'll most likely change your mind about wanting to dump her. but if she doesnt change, go with your original plans and just tell her that you gave her a chance to change, and she took it for granted. that way, you wont feel bad about it, since you gave her the heads up.
i hope this works for you :) take care.
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what is a prep? (link)
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from my recent experiences, a "prep" is someone who is very perky, annoying, wears a lot of pink/bright colours, does their nails with those french tips, wears short skirts/skinny jeans, a lot of makeup, says "like" at least 5 times in a sentence, and is just obnoxious in every way possible. but thats just how they are in my recent encounters. they aren't obnoxious to everyone, thats only my opinion. :) hope i helped.
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I've known my "sometimes friend, Tiffany" since 7th grade. I'm now 24, our friendship has been on and off throughout the years. But we have never had a "falling out" and just stopped talking, changes of locations and lost of phone numbers, different directions in life, ect were generally the reasons for our lack of keeping in touch. But if we did happen to run into one another or what have you, it was like we never were apart.
In March or April of 2008, I had come across her myspace page and emailed her, we started talking and hanging out pretty regular.
She had a little boy and was coming out of a really bad abusive relationship with the father of her son, and having problems finically and finding a babysitter, ect. So I stepped in a helped her as much as I could; I would watch her son-pay free, gave her money if she really needed it-never expecting to be paid back, let her use my apartment if she needed a place to get away from it all.
Would pick up the tab if we went out or had dranks. . (I know how this sounds, but no, this was not a lesbian relationship of any kind! This is just my personality and I have been very fortunate to have had a wonderful career in the Marine Corp, so when I can help someone, I like to go above and beyond and I know I appreciate a friend like that. So I helped her when I could.)
Anyway, off the bat I noticed that she was a big time slut and it always bothered me that she "needed" a man to feel complete.
Also, she's one of those people who, when they get a little male attention her (friends) take a backseat.
EVERYTIME.
I use to feel like that so I understood and I thought I could help her get some that self esteem back.
However, recently, like the last year or so, its become a concern of mine for her son's welfare.
Not only dose she sleep around who whomever is around, she moves them in ASAP with her and her child.
Tiffany has had between 5-7 live in "boyfriends" aka scum bags who sponge off her for a little while then move on. And countless other males that will "stay" with her from time to time and who she lets watch her son.
She obviously dose not know these people.
I don't have any kids, but I would think that your child comes above everything else and their safety should be number one.
(If her son wasn't a factor, I would have said goodbye to her a long time ago. She lacks in values and morals and is not someone I want as a friend. Its always all about her and no one else matters.
I'm not attached to her son or anything, but its still not right.)
Just recently, she met a guy where ever and two days later he was living with her, needless to say that lasted maybe a month or two.
He (not surprising) was cheating on her, he "broke up" with her and now, she's found someone else to replace him. Its a pathetic, unsafe cycle that she dose not acknowledge or even think its a problem.
Which is beyond fusterating!!
Back to her little boy, I'm scared that something is going to happen to him.
My mother was also a young mom, who always had a new face around my brother and I. And unfortunately I was molested by a few of her "boyfriends". I grew up angry, confused, very untrustful of men and resentful of my mom, who still dose not know.
I do not want anything to happen to her son. All because of her selfish wants and low self esteem and worth.
If I bring it up, Tiffany and I always get into an arguement where she physically wants to hurt me.
Whether she and I have a friendship or not, is no longer my concern, I want to know if I should just mind my own business-bc she dosent get it or what can I do to keep him safe, if anything????
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if she won't listen, make her listen. tell her your story and how it affected you. tell her that even though her son is not a little girl, the same thing could happen to him because the world is full of sick "scum-bags". if she still refuses to listen, what i would do if i were you is try to let the boy stay with you as much as possible. maybe let him sleep over sometimes, take him to school, just as long as it doesnt interfere with you and your daily life, because clearly, he isn't your problem to deal with. just when its convenient for you and your family.
but if you're still in a tough spot and tiffany gets upset because of all the time you spend with her son, call a social worker. tell him whats happening at the house and explain the living conditions of this child. he can help get the kid a better home or knock some sense into your friend.
thats all you can do. nothing more, i'm sorry. if you've tried everything you can and nothing seems to work, then just walk away. as i said, this kid is not yours. he's not your problem. tiffany isn't your responsibility. maybe once you're not around to help her everytime she needs something, she'll realize that she needs to stop these teenage ways and grow up.
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At school I really don't have any good friends or people that I feel comfortable talking to. I never have anybody over for sleepovers and that sort of thing either. But, last year I had the most wonderful teacher that I wish was my age so that we could do all the fun "B.F.F." type things like sleepovers, the mall, etc. The thing is she moved away last June. ;( We write letters all the time and chat online, but I am just sad. It seems like my best friend moved away. I think the reason why I am so attached is because my mother and I have no relationship whatsoever and I have no siblings. How should I handle this situation? It is almost like the Matilda-Miss Honey ordeal, if you have seen the movie. (link)
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no one is too old to be your friend. i dont know how old you are, and i don't know how old your ex-teacher is, but as long as this relationship isn't putting your life in danger, there is absolutely no harm in it.
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I sometimes feel very unhappy with myself. I feel like i'm always thinking mean thoughts about other people just to feel better, and also I always feel like I don't fit in with my friends. Like they don't care how they look, and I always feel "better" which is horrible. I feel absolutely horrible feeling this way, I don't know how to accept me, and my friends. Help! (link)
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usually people who think like this think that its because they are over-confident or self-indulged. when the truth is, you're really self concious. you may be "better looking" than your friends to a certain extent, but you're also unhappy. you didnt say anything about your friends, but i'm assuming they don't go around thinking bad thoughts about other people. maybe you know that on the inside, you're just not that nice of a person and it gets you down. trust me, i'm talking from experience. i think nasty or horrible thoughts about everyone that walks past me. like if a girl is making out with her boyfriend in the hallway, i picture myself shooting them for being so gross; no one wants to see that, right?! anyways, what i do is when i feel myself starting to bring myself up, in the "i'm better than you" way, i rag on myself. nothing too mean, but something small like "i'm breaking out a lot, lately" or "my hair is disgusting, i need a shower". you know, nothing that will throw you into a deep depression, because if you do go too far with this, you WILL end up hurting yourself.
now, if its the opposite and you're fixing to put down someone else, try to think of something good about them. like, say some chick from your spanish class is walking down the hall. you see her, and you remember that she's not nice to your friends, or to you. you call her a bitch in your mind, but stop yourself! instead, look for a good quality; "she probably is a nice person, maybe she just has a hard homelife" or "she has a great sense of style"
you get my drift. good luck. :)
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well 15/f and sorry if long . but me and my bestfriends we all chill and hang inside and outside of school well when they all got mad at me for breaking up with my boyfriend and they told me that i was stupid for it and the fact that i did it i told them to leave me alone and then they finally became my friend they said that they wont get mad well someone said that i said something about them and now that i said that they were a slut they said they dont want to talk to me and that they hate me should i confront them about some of the stuff i heard that came from there mouth about me or should i just leave me alone. (link)
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those girls are not your friends. friends support you with every decision you make, which it seems like they don't. you shouldn't be the one trying to hold the glue together. and did you notice that they gang up on YOU? you can't fight alone, so don't try. and don't try to "explain" anything to them. it might have been a misunderstanding, but its mostly their fault. if i were you, i'd be trying to find some new friends.
take care.
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Im going to have to give you guys a bit of history so that you can better understand the situation. I have this friend. A best friend. Weve been friends since 8th grade, and now were seniors about to graduate and weve gone through a lot. we were literally polar opposites on the surface but intellectually we matched perfect. The thing is, I was always the preppy, kinda girlie one, and she was the dark, gothic one. never really cared about her looks. she even called herself manly. In 8th grade that was our style. Weve both changed a great amount since then. I used to be very shy, now I am very outgoing. I am still girlie, but I play soccer and enjoy Spanish music and am very positive and always happy. She changed as well. Her style became girlie, and she did away with all her darkness. But the problem is her changing is influenced by me. which would be fine, except shes adopting not only the style of music and clothes that I like, but also my personality. I don't understand. She sees me do or wear something, and she goes and does the same thing. I cant really say anything i mean it seems very petty but it's becoming more than a superficial thing. She is copying my mannerisms and my reactions, all my tastes and dislikes. She is becoming me. We go to different schools, but when I see people from her school they describe her doing and saying things that sound exactly like me. She doesn't act that way towards me though. And it's really frustrating because I cant say anything, shes going to deny it and say that that's what she would have done regardless. which i know is not true. Literally shes doing EVERYTHING that I am. it's insane. And now she is saying she wants some space between us so she can get her priorities in line, telling me she doesnt really want to talk to anyone for a while, but i see her doing stuff and hanging with other people, dressing and acting like me. I'm going crazy over this what should I do? how can I accept this? (link)
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maybe she sees that how you're acting, you seem to get a positive reaction from other people out of it, and it makes you happy. maybe she wants that, too. and probably the reason she doesnt do it around you is because she knows shes sort of copying you so she lies low when around the source of her changing. but you also have to realize, between junior high and being a senior in highschool is a long period of time. someone can change a lot during then. i was like her in 8th grade, and over the years i've become a lot darker and more tomboyish. i used to be a very girlie goth. so as you can see, people change a lot.
dont see it as annoying, but more of a compliment. meaning she looks up to you and you're probably one of her favourite people on this planet. bask in it! not everyone is a rolemodel amoung their friends. :)
take care
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i'm 19 female. i'm doing online college right now, due to certain issues. basically, i dont have any friends my age. i only have one good friend of mine who i've known since the 7th grade. we do hang out alot but the only people i hang out with are in high school... LAME. i just get along with them really well, there like juniors and seniors in high school but i HATE hanging out with them because honestly i feel like an idiot. i even feel like other people are like, "why is she hanging out with 16,17,18 yr olds?!" my parents are judgemental too, saying i need friends my age. my good friend who is my age doesnt hang out with anyone either. we don't really talk to anyone else, like we cant go visit someone at college. it's not like i go to the high school events.. NOOOOOO nono, i dont. that would be weird. but i do hang out with them. i am starting to feel depressed, i need friends my age :( (link)
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who says you have to feel stupid for hanging out with people you enjoy hanging out with? i'm a junior, and ALL of my friends are freshman or sophomores. i like hanging out with them better because we just get along more. one of my closest friends is two years younger than me and we've been friends for over a decade. we get along, we know how to communicate, and plus, younger kids are fun. i'll have to be thinking about life on my own soon and hanging around younger kids just sets my maturity level down to healthy, non stressful level that works until we're not together. being around people your own age is sometimes boring. and honestly, it can ruin your mood. i cant ever remember having a friend that was older than me. you dont need to feel depressed or idiotic just because your friends are still in highschool. and whoever makes you feel that way doesnt understand you, or your way of thinking.
its not that big of a deal. its just a number. its like going out with someone younger or older than you.
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17/f.
ok my best friend ashley is really cool most of the time & we are best friends. yesterday i went to the carnival, with another good friend, kelly, because ashley already had plans with a girl i don't like very much. well anyway, whenever i would see ashley, like wave, she would be looking at me & then she would just turn away, & then i was waiting for her to get off a ride, and she just walked past me.. & then after kelly left, i was alone & i wanted someone to hang out with, & then i found out someone i know very well, may have cancer, & then my mom was mad at me & then i saw someone kill a fish (i'm a vegetarian and a animal lover, so that depressed me) so, i was really upset, & really wanted to like talk to someone & hang out with someone, & my best friend just texts me "oh, really.. well my phone is dieing so talk to you tomorrow." like is it just me, or was she being rude? or am i making a big deal out of nothing? i have not said anything to her about this.
i was going to go to the carnival with her tonight, but i don't know.
oh & kelly and ashley don't get along well, but not enough that ashley can't still talk to me.
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this is just access information, if you want you can stop reading & still answer my question..
ashley might be kind of jealous of kelly & me though. because welll.. ashley weighs like 230 pounds. & ashleys friend weighs probably 200 or close to it. & kelly & i weigh like 110.. so i mean, while we were there, like all these guys kept coming up to us, and wanting to talk to us and, well no one has ever come up to ashley, inless it was a joke. so i was thinking maybe she didn't want to talk to me because of that.
but the thing is, is ashley only has 2 friends, me & the other girl. & then she hangs out with her sisters friends, but her sister & her friends are going to college soon, i don't know who she expects to hang out then...
anyway, am i making a big deal? she is my best friend, what kind of friend doesn't ask you where you are & everything, when your crying on a street corner.... (link)
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it sounds like nothing to me. maybe ashley was jealous. but not because you're thinner than she, but because you were with kelly all night instead of her. you said you were going to the carnival with her or something, so talk to her there. tell her how you came off and how you really needed a friend, but she wasnt there for you. im sure she'll give you a good reason and things will turn out fine.
take care. :)
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WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR READING 3 PARAGRAPHS, THEN DON'T BOTHER!
I'm 14, but i usually don't interact with the whole high school drama thing. But, I have a complicated problem. So i had this friend, I'll call her M and my other friend, I'll call her N. So M and N are BFFs, and I'm friends with both of them. I had heard a lot of rumors that N hated me, but I ignored them. Then, a trusted friend, I'll call her K, told me what she wasn't supposed to tell me. M had had an AIM conversation with K about me. And she didn't like me. In fact, she said I was a follower, and copying her personality (BS). Worst of all, she called me selfish, and that really got to me. She said that N felt the same way. When M figured out that I knew this, she didn't deny, just said that it was true, that I was selfish and a follower, and that N felt the same way. Of course, I was devastated. My supposed best friend hated me. When I asked her questions after she said 'We need to talk,' M said she can't answer them without N. I said okay, but N didn't answer my AIM messages. In school, N said that I could get annoying but she was still my friend. M said that N was lying to me and really didn't like me. I told her that we should just forget about it and act like we had never met each other because it was causing me alot of emotional pain, and this was the conversation I got:
M: you only think about you
you dont thnk i hav been put through things
on my birthday party last year my mom left for greece cause my grandpa had almost died
he is almost dead still
i have been frendless half of last year
and you are saying i havent been through things
i dont know
well
if you listen to what i say you would
I said back: o i know you have! you've had your grandfather almost die, which is most likely WAY harder then my grandma dyin cause i hardly knew her and im friendless now cuz you and N are no longer liking me
Me again: i know! i listened 2 that beauiful poem you wrote about it 2 it was awesome and it made me cry. maybe you could just get to know me better you'd see. . .
And all she said was 'Bye'
It pains me a lot. And I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do. I don't know who to be mad at. N or M? What the heck is going on? It hurts. What if I m selfish? I'm not a follower that's BS. But I've been through a lot too. I was closer to my cat then I had ever been. She died 5 years ago and I'm still sad. I moved. In my old school, I was teased, I was an ex-member of a clique that I quit cause they were bad, and they teased me the rest of my life. My brother has diabetes, arthritis, and a possible learning disability, and my parents are always dealing with him because he does online school. By worrying about my own problems does that make me selfish? Now I have only a few friends. I have so many questions, and I doubt anyone will take the time to answer them. Gulp. Oh well. Sorry for wasting your time.
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everyone has problems to deal with. its just the sad fact of life. M sounds like shes the selfish one to me. she sounds like a total bitch, and shes not worth the trouble she causes you. N, im not sure. shes kind of confusing.
heres my advice to you: TOTALLY IGNORE THEM. DO NOT BOTHER TO BE NICE, TRYING TO EARN BACK THEIR FRIENDSHIP. focus on school, and the remaining friends you have. in time, they might actually see that they really miss you, and may try to be your friend again. when that time comes, DONT BUY INTO IT. this is going to end up happening all over again...
drama cant be avoided, but it can be ignored. my dad says that anything that is causing drama in my life, i should just drop it completely. sometimes that means friends, certain activites, hobbies, or maybe even boyfriends. but these girls are trouble, and like i said, totally not worth shit. if they really hate you, just dont try to be their friend. its pointless.
just breathe easy and hang around K or other friends of yours. :)
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me and this girl cate have been friends for 8 years.i used to live close to her but i moved about 4 years ago. Even though i moved its like nothing changed, we are still best friends. about 6 months ago she got a boyfriend and he's 18, SHES ONLY 14. She skips school to be w/ him and she already missed 30 days of school. she doesn't call me anymore. she started smoking cigarettes and pot w/ him.She told me shes sexually active. I'm really worried. She still tells me how much i mean to her and stuff, but i don't feel the same way. her boyfriend has totally changed her, all she does it think about him. Should i talk to her parents? i am so lost. EVEN WORSE HER MOM AND DAD DON'T KNOW THAT SHES DOING THIS STUFF.she called me a good two shoes, and we used to talk aleast every night, but thats all changed. She's even lied to me a lot. Please help me. Thank- you (link)
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you have to try to get through to your friend. shes obviously making some really risky desicions, and since you moved, you cant really be there to help her. next time she calls you, or you call her, try to schedule a day where you two could get together. now, i know i dont know how far away you live from her, but if its a few hours, find a place thats about halfway to her place, and both of you meet up there. if its more than a few hours...well i dont know if a plane ticket is worth just a few hours with her...but yeah.
when/if that happens, you HAVE to try to get through to her. she wont want to listen to you, and she may even resent you because of it. but if shes really your friend, your opinion might affect her and make her rethink some of this stuff.
if you cant meet up with her, call her or something and ask her to hear you out for a few minutes. tell her you're really worried and dont want to completely lose her.
anyways, if you talk to her and nothing changes, then i dont know what else to tell you. :\
if all else fails, and things start getting totally out of hand, call her parents/tell you parents that your worried about her and that shes in trouble.
you two sound like you've been close for a while, and it sounds to me that since she has a boyfriend so much older than her, shes just trying to fit in. try to talk to her, and if it doesnt help, tell her parents SUBTLY. :)
i hope it all works out.
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Before you read this, please see http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=558514
we made up AGAIN, but the next day we went to my house to play. But, she started to get really moody again. We decided to go downstairs to take some pictures and i suggested that we change our clothes. We changed and then Lo said, 'nevermind, i'm not going.' so we went to find Fi and asked her to come with us. We asked lo again if she wanted to come, she said no, even if shes gonna be alone at my house. So we went down and took a bunch of pics and had lots of fun, but when we went back up we asked if lo wanted to leave with Sarah, Dion and Fi. She said she'll go herself. THIS IS MY HOUSE, does she think if she wants to stay she can stay?! So after that she stayed in computer room and played the computer. Then she went to find me and asked me what time she should go and asked if i could see the pics we took. After that she left saying a happy goodbye, like not even a moody goodbye. OK, so we're ok now? NO we are not. After that she said she officially want to stop being friends with us. Then she made up with Fi thru msn, even if i told fi i don't want to be friends with lo and neither does dion. but fi said she doesn't want to see lo being sad everyday.and we have a project together for school, without lo, we cant do it because also we already told the teacher what groups we'll split into and with whom. What should i do?! I really dont want to be friends with Lo but i want to be friends with Fi! And to do the project! and i'm also locker buddies with lo! ARGH!!!! Any advice? And she just got her period like 2 days ago, is it pms? (link)
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im like that all the time. and its mostly because A) im deeply depressed 87% of the time, and its also because i have slight bipolar disorder.
you may want to talk to her parents or talk to her, just you and her. and try to get deep into her mind to see whats really bugging her. or, use reverse psychology.
just end the friendship. go along with her "wishes" and end it. and if it really is because shes bipolar, she'll change her mind quickly and run back to you. then, and only then, you can get the answers you want, because she'll do anything to keep your friendship if she really appreciates you. :)
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I'm a 17 year old guy..
About a year ago I lost one of my best friends who I hung out with all of the time. We quit being friends because I was an annoying obsessive suffocating friend. Recently I became friends with a different person. How can I be sure not to annoy this one like last time? (link)
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only call when its important, and ask him/her to come over every now and again. between those times, you can do something to keep you occupied. i know usually when i have an obnoxious friend, they usually call too much. or visa versa. so now, i only wait till people call me. and i dont get as annoying. :)
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My best friend got a boyfriend a week ago and were 14 .we ve been best friends since grade 2 and shes had a lot of boyfriends and i havent had one yet and ever since she started to date him shes been blowing me off .She used to pick me for everything and now she always talks about him and is always with him.Eveyone At school is like "when are you going to get a boyfriend " . Ive tried to send her hints that its bugging me but she doesnt see it that it is . (link)
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you shouldnt be jealous that she has a boyfriend. but, you are only human, afterall.
instead, try to be more happy for her. its not fair for her to be happy, but her best friend only be jealous.
but its also not fair to you that she always spends time with him. i have a boyfried, too. and my friends always get mad that i spend more time with him than i do with them. but its not my fault i make plans with him before they ask me to hang out.
so what you need to do is call her and ask her if you guys can hang out sometime during the week. and be sure to plan it sometime ahead so her bf doesnt all of a sudden ask her to hang out. tell her you want to go to the mall or go to her house to watch a movie or just do something that you guys always do. and ask her not to talk about her bf, because this is you guys' time together.
i hope i helped, and good luck.
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