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My friend hates my boyfriend, what do I do?
Hey, this might be long (very sorry but all relevant). I am at university at the moment, at my second year living in a small house with a friend I met at the start of last year. Last year was great! I made so many friends and I met this man who I am now with, but it didn't start too good.
See, he used to call me and say we'll go out, so I'd get dressed up and wait and wait and wait, but he'd ignore my calls for about a month and a half, then randomly he would get back in touch.
I know my friend hated knowing I was in my room crying over him but now were together he explained he liked me and he was afraid of both being hurt and hurting me (which made me laugh in retrospect) anyway we are fine and happy now, looking forward to a future together.
My only problem is the girl I'm living with hates him, she's forbidden him from entering the house and speaks badly about him constantly. He tried to be polite and talk to her but she's snubbed him at every chance so now he hates her too. I think that her problem is mostly that she's afraid of him (a few of my friends are cautious) because were all from the same happy fortunate world while he has had a tough life and in that sense is a polar opposite from us. She also seems to be a bit racist which may play a part as well!
Either way, it's so hard hearing them say how If I cared about one or the other id put them first when I care about them both!
It isn't helped by my home situation, where my mother and father are recently divorced, my mother has turned her back on all my siblings who have tried to be civil with my dad, which makes me so upset even though he did us all wrong and turned away from us, I still want to have even a basic relationship with him but know I can't because It would hurt my mother so much...
I was hoping going back to university would get me away from those ultimatum conversations but it led me right into even harder ones! Oh and the reason I can't go to his house is because he lives in a very rough neighbourhood doesn't want me where I can get hurt.
I don't know how to talk to her about letting him stay with ME, she says she wants nothing to do with him but he's coming to see ME not her. I don't want to be a bitch to her but I feel like she's controlling my life (and I'm not the only one to feel this way with her either!). Any advice on dealing with people like this and convincing her to let him stay with me would be welcome, thankyou x
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i have red your story and this has happend to me before ignore what she says about him not going in the house hes your BOYFRIEND! she cant control what goes on with you and him let him got to the house were you stay get both of them together ( u, your bf and your mate) and sit then down and talk why she hates him. yer like you said hes had a tough time but it doesnt matter about aslong as your happy hes happy you are fine dont let them bring you down by telling you stuff its not right that you have to sit there and listen to wat your room mate says about him as fare as i know if she saying stuff about him shes not your mate mates are there to be happy for you not to bring you down.... if you need anymore adivise pleas contact on my email:jake11342@hotmail.co.uk
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No, she's not being fair to you. But for good reason. Whether he didn't want to get hurt, or hurt you, or whatever, that's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard. That's no excuse to not answer someone's phone calls and to not come and hang out with them when you made plans. Whether you guys are cool now or not, that was NOT okay and the fact that he had a "rough life" isn't an excuse, either. He sounds like an asshole, and I would forget about him.
I doubt you're going to do that, though, so in the meantime, accept your roommate's wishes. If she's uncomfortable having him in the house, well that's that. You may try talking to her, letting her know that he'll only be in your room, not wondering around the house all up in her business. And if he is talking trash about her, that's not cool either. She good reason to hate him, he was a jerk. She was just standing up for you and now he hates her because she cares about you, you see that, don't you?
As far as letting him stay, like I said, try and talk to her. Come to some sort of agreement. Maybe tell her that if she won't let him come over, then you'll just have to find a new roommate. Or you could stay with him. Its a little shady to not want someone to come to your house just because its not a great neighborhood. Newsflash: No neighborhood is safe anymore. Jaycee Dugar's parents moved her to a place they assumed was safe and she went missing for 18 years. Long story short, he'll be there to protect you, and you're not a baby, so why shouldn't you be aloud to hang out there? That might be your only option at this point. Unless there is another reason he doesn't want you there...in that case, just work on things with your roommate. This guy could be gone in a few months but she's your friend. She's not trying to be cold, she's looking out for you. And that's what counts.
I hope I helped.
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