I am on here to help people because that is what I want to do with the rest of my life and I feel like I give good advice. I hope I help everyone I write to.
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Member Since: February 20, 2008
Answers: 204
Last Update: February 22, 2011
Visitors: 14184
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its been a long process, i've went through a questioning period before but now i'm pretty certain. i just don't know how to tell my friends that are girls. or my boyfriend, whom i love with all my heart. i've been having sexual fantasies about my friends and i don't want them to think that i'm coming onto them or something. one of my ex friends did this, told me she was bi and then immediately asked me to go out with her. it scarred me and completely ruined the friendship. i've known these girls for years and don't want to fuck it up.
is there any way i can get rid of these urges, or at least tell them without scaring them off? (link)
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If you have a solid relationship with your bf telling him about your curiosities might not be a bad idea. Depending on your age and the nature of your fantasies I would say you might just be bi-curious which is actually not such a bad thing when you get into your college years. You are lucky to be a girl in this situation rather than a guy. It is a lot more acceptable for a girl to be bisexual than a guy.
I agree with the other people who posted that you should definitely wait until your at least college age to know...if you are college age which it sounds like you are not....you will be able to experiment to see if you are.
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Around October, I met my best friend, which happens to be a guy. I've never had a guy best friend before, so I was excited to try something different. In time, we became so close, it was hard to pull us away from each other when we were talking or laughing. Around the middle of December, I changed. Every time he talked to someone, I would get insanely jealous, and my heart would ache. Anytime he wasn't talking to me, my heart would drop through my stomach. Everytime he hugged me, I felt like I was safe and he should never let go. And ever since then, I can't stop thinking about him, and I think I may even love him.
Since he is my best friend, he tells me everything you see? Now everyday, he will talk about how much this one girl doesn't like him, and he is constantly talking about her, and I can't help but to have my heart break.
I've tried to tell him multiple times, but I always backed out making an excuse such as 'I love you...like a brother.' I have a feeling that he won't like me, because I'm not the thinnest girl in the world, or the prettiest. I'm not the smartest, and I definetly cannot compare to the girl he likes. I'm confused, can you please help me? (I've tried my best to explain it, it is rather hard to explain in more ways than one)
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My best friend was a guy too. I was in the same situation as you even down to not having any guy friends before. I am now married to my best friend and it is the best thing in the world, but it is not to take lightly. You not only need to be ready to date him but to fight with him and potentially lose him. Whenever you have feelings for a good friend like that there is huge potential in losing him but there is also the potential that you will be together forever. If your relationship is strong enough you will be able to keep as a friend if it doesn't work out.
If I were you I would put yourselves in situations where you can show your affections without being to weird. Like watch a movie and cuddle with him...if he is your best friend that shouldn't be to weird for him. If you really think you are willing to lose him, or if you are sure you will be friends no matter what you should tell him. Maybe bring up a hypothetical about you two dating once and gauge his reaction.
It is always best to be in a relationship with your best friend I believe. So if you believe it is the right thing to do, do it! Just try to make sure it is right for both of you because you do not want to lose your friend.
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i'm 18/f
my 17 year old guy cousin likes this girl who is 17 also. they use to go out, but then broke up and went back out and broke up and she went out and ended up having sex with this other guy. keep in mind, she didn't have sex with my cousin. she has only had sex with two guys. anyways me and my cousin went out to dinner, and we saw her. we talked to her for awhile and when she left she told my cousin she didn't feel good. she was texting him and said that she has been eating like crazy, hasnt been feeling good, gained about 10 pounds in like a month, she got like a little blood about a week ago and that lasted one day. their condom broke, they found out after they were done, they lasted like an hour and a half i guess and she is not on birth control. i guess they had sex about a month ago too. she hasnt told ANYONE but my cousin, and she would kill him if she knew my cousin told me but he wanted my help, because i know alot about this and he doesnt. i cant tell if she is pregnant, but all her signs sure do seem like it. i know there is no sure way of knowing unless she gets a pregnancy test. my cousin was talking to her and she flipped out on him because she said she didn't want to talk about it but he is worried about her. she said she has no way of going to get a test, she doesnt have her license yet and she doesnt want to tell her friends, and if she said she had to go to the store, and someone brought her she thought it would be suspicious if she peed afterwards i guess. i just wish she knew that i knew about it, because i would be more than happy to bring her to get a test, but my cousin refuses to tell her because she will like never talk to him again and thats not an exaggeration. what am i to do? i feel bad for the poor girl. (link)
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why don't you go buy a test for her give it to your cousin and have him give it to her. She won't have to know and they don't cost that much then she wouldn't have to know that you know and she wouldn't have to get it...or ask you cousin to go buy it. Any way you can you should get her tested even if it means spending a little money.
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To all you girls out there, I have a question/scenario. Here is your chance to give some good advice to a confused man. I had been dating this girl for about 4 months. Everything thing was going FANTASTIC! I played it cool - didn’t rush anything - Just had the most amazing time together. I came over a couple of days ago and she did a complete 180 on me and said it was not working for her anymore. That’s fine, we all go through it – Here is my question: She also told me that when she realized that she loved me - she realized that she could not be in a committed relationship. How do you take that? What do you do about it? Should you do anything? She said she was in basic panic mode and felt uncomfortable in any relationship. She had been single for 6 yrs before she met me. Any advice here is good and appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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if I were you I would talk to her and see why she is feeling this way. She sounds scared to commit. Tell her you just want to talk and not force anything on her. There might have been something in her past making her this way and she has to know that you can handle whatever she has to say and that you are there to listen.
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Me and my best friend austin are very close friends.
We do everything together. We used to go to the amusement park like everyday for the past 3 summers until he got a job there. he promised he wouldnt but did anyway.
Me and him always used to argue though because we were so close i think. It bothered me alot. But I still cared about him. However, one day at school I got pissed because he was saying how i always talk about myself (maybe because he was my first best friend). I'm not too social, and he helped me become a better person and i learned alot from him. That day that he said that I got really mad, I transfered schools, and then dropped out the end of my junior year in highschool. It is now my junior yr summer, and I have adult ed in the fall. Since hes been working we havent talked much. Me and him didnt go to the amusement park like we used to not once yet. We planned for it one day, but i decided to go car shopping instead.. I felt like he was going to be better than me, or have something that i want. maybe I'm insecure about myself I'm not sure.
I always feel like we are competing against each other. Weather it's who works out more, who has more muscle, who gets their license first, or even who has a nicer shirt. I feel like I'm jealous of him. Alot of people dont know I am, but I am. I think this is whats holding me back from hanging out with him. He's my best friend though, but maybe were too alike?? I feel alone he was like my only close friend. I only have aquaintances really. I want this jealousy to end. and this competeing.
I want it to be like it used to be.
For some reason I like it when I seem better than my friends is this normal??
I got him to work out, and to run, and to buy hollister clothes and everything cool looking, and he did, and now its like affecting the way i feel about myself
Pleasse give any advice
NY152! (link)
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well I myself do feel this way sometimes. But it's never been that bad to the point where I get upset, so I kept it in.
Maybe you can try having a deep conversation with him. I know that, that might be hard for two guys but maybe you have that kind of relationship. Tell him exactly how you feel and see if you can't figure out the reason why. Maybe he feels the same way as you.
If that doesn't help you might need to move on. People change and grow apart. I have lost many friends to this and it sucks a lot but it is life and sometimes it is not worth the pain to continue with the friendship!
I hope you figure this out.
Cassiopea
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well im the definition of "loner" i only have about 3 or 4 friends in this whole world. my boyfriend used to be my best friend, but he cant be my friend anymore because everything has changed since we started dating. im really happy with him, but i miss our friendship. i have another close friend, Nona, but she has so many friends besides me and shes always busy so im left alone. My boyfriend lives 20 minutes away and im not driving yet, so we only see eachother on fridays. and my other 1 or 2 friends i only talk to every now and again. like maybe once or twice a month. so they are more aquantince(sp) then anything. i always say that im happy where i am because i dont like being surrounded by people because im uptaining closterphobia(sp). but i just want a few more friends that i can talk to and hang out with and stuff. im fixing to try to get a lifeguard job, and that should add to my friend status, but im really shy. and i never start conversations. and see, all the time when i try to get friends? we become friends and then i get excited and just annoy them to death without even knowing it. or i do something wrong and they dump me. im just confused and lonely and bored and im already out of school so i have NOTHING to suck up the time with! and the lifeguard classes dont start until june...and i have nothing to do till then. any advice on how to get friends?? (link)
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Welcome to the club, it's a big one! We are all loners, when it comes down to it. We come into this life alone, we will go out alone and we will feel alone in the middle. Believe it or not, it is most likely that the friends you have now, will not be friends in 10 years, you'll have a whole new set. And if you can't be friends with your boy friend, then you are with the wrong boy friend. My best friend in the world is my wife. There is no one I would rather be with, talk to, or knows more about me then her. The fact that you feel this way about him tells me you are too young for a steady relationship, go back to being friends and if it's meant to be, it will develop into a much stronger relationship. As the poster said before me, smile and get to know as many people as you can. I would add, don't be afraid. rejection is a part of life, there will be those who will reject you, that's their loss. Your only interested in finding those who will except you for who you are.
Bell well dear one,
Gilbert Mar
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I saw a guy holding a bag for his girlfriend I thought it was lazy for the girl to not do it your self. And I am a girl. When I said it out load "why is he holding her bag?" my friend said "because it is an act of kindness!!" she said strict and firm to me while glaring at me? Why? It’s like she saying "you don’t do that!" but we not a couple. (link)
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you know what I think your friend might think? Men are supposed to do everything for girls. Like it is a duh thing. It isn't right at all and any guy who goes along with it all the time is pretty sad. I guess every once in a while it is ok and you never know that girl might have not been thinking that and she just wanted his help really quick. You never know the situation.
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me and my best friend have been friends for a while we do everything together but here lately she has been telling me that my boyfriend was making out with his ex girlfriend and that he was cheating on me and when i ask him about it and my other friends they tell me that they havnt ever seen him kiss another girl and that he would never cheat on me but because of what my best friend it caused me and my boyfriend to break up so i dont know what to do any more. (link)
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I am sure your best friend is jelous. It happens to the best of us. you are going in a different direction than your friend and she is not liking it. You need to tell her that your life is your own and that hers is hers. Many people try to make you who they want you to be and you cannot let her do that!
Tell her that she has to stop lying and even if she is telling the truth you will find out on your own and that is not her business or her place to interfer.
I hope I helped
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Okay, My mate is fifteen and she went to a parety a few months ago and drank too much then slept with a guy from her class.
They were both virgin's before hand but she now recons she could have a sexually transmitted infection... Is that possible?
And also I think she should go to see a doctor for help but she's scared because she is under age for having sex.. Can they do anything like with the law or something if she asks for help? And also if she does have an S.T.I doesn't she have to tell the guy she slept with... how can she do that? help.. I'm worried about her, they can be serious sometimes right? x (link)
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most std's (sti's) have to come from having sex with someone else before that. In the us the girl wouldn't have to say anything but the fact that she had sex. She would not get in trouble unless the parent makes trouble.
What are her symptoms? It could be something else that has to do with sex but is still perfectly normal.
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Is it possible for two people to be 100% honest with each other?I mean,to be able to tell each other EVERYTHING(and I really mean everything),and to trust each other unconditionally? I would really like any opinions on this. Thanks =] (link)
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I think it is possible, but it has to be the closest bond. I think in a way that everyone has their secrets. maybe not ones that they can even understand but they are there. so I think it is very hard to express everything. but I do think you can fully trust someone but it takes strong souls and very long time!
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[wrong category..sorry]
16/f. i got a new boyfriend 2 months ago. after that, basically, i've completely lost all touch with my inner self. my grades went down. some friends turned their backs on me. my parents are giving up on me. i feel horrible. i've become an attention seeking whore. but i'm depressed (i've been diagnosed.)
all because of a boyfriend..? there must be something wrong. it's very pathetic to see myself like this. it's like a drug to me now, this male affection/attention. and it's not like i'm putting less effort into my schoolwork. the grades just decline..
i'm sure this is not normal. any advice would be very much appreciated. =| (link)
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I think you need to consentrate on yourself right now. You don't seem like you are in the greatest position to have a boyfriend, it isn't fair to you or him if you are depressed and can't exactly give him all of you. If I were you I would tell your parents how you are feeling and see if they can give you some advice because even if it seems like they have given up they probably haven't and they will see that you don't like what is going on either and will help in all the ways they can!
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there's a taken guy(gabe)i've been talking to and he gives me the greatest feeling in the world.
but he asks me some personal stuff and i answer and i feel like we're friends and then i just think in the back of my mind that he's just using me. i've been going through something really hard and he said no matter what he'd be there and he's glad we started talking. and even one night he told me that i was a great girl and would make some really lucky guy really happy!
what the heeeck??
he says he'll never like another girl b/c of his girlfriend...i'm not sure i believe that..
he just.. gives me this feeling.
anything will do =) (link)
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He is not useing you. He probably wants to be good friends with you and the way he does that is to ask questions. He is telling you are great because you are. He is more than likely the sensitive type that really does care about people.
He might have said that about his gf but you never know what he is actually thinking. He is probably torn between his gf and you.
If it is meant to be it will work out.
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ok am i wrong to want the truth from people? for the last 4 months people have been weird to me. im kindof not hanging out with my friends as much and not talking to them as much and stuff like that but they dont say anything about it, when i can tell that they are talking about me behind my back. they look at me with that look like they are thinking "fuck you" in their head at me, but i wish they would just TELL ME HOW THEY REALLY FEEL. whenever i see them they just make awkward small talk with me and if i bring up something cool that happened to me or something they dont comment and they are just like "oh. wow i just love this weather." because god forbid they state their opinion.
my friends have this thought that basically telling the truth starts drama. when, in my opinion, telling lies and not telling the truth is what starts the real drama.
so, tell me your opinions on this and tell me if im wrong to think this please.
thanks (link)
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I agree with you! The best way to get over problems is to put it out in the open and discuss ways to solve it. Tell them you have no idea why they are being this way and to please tell you. If they don't then it seems like they don't care enough to even want you as a friend.
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sometimes like i know i'll get along with a lot of them but like i get nervous and sometimes say stupid things i didnt mean. idk why cause im ok being independent and stuff and i find its easier for me to be more like myself around people who are shyer than me a lot..or other outgoing people that ive known for a while. like its easy to be totally like myself with new people, but as time goes on like its hard to be all fresh like that and just start being myself after i start to like become shy.. when i hate being that way cause im usually not like that around family and close friends. like on myspace there are some cool new people i talk to sometimes and like.. ok first of all how can i just drop this whole thing of looking at people based ons stereotypes? i tend to be very judgy though i am against it myself.. i know its mean and stuff and want to stop since it just relects weakness from me like when i spread bad gossip or something. its just dumb. so that i could talk to people more easier and stop getting nervous of what? like rejection? i dont know.. maybe. like how can i just do it.. dont just say to take a deep breath and stuff. please take your time answering cause ive asked similar questions a while ago but nothing really helped me or i wouldnt be back again. :( thanks for the help btw. :) (link)
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We tend to put the "popular" people on a pedestal even though they are not better than us.
If I were you just don't worry about even talking to them because it won't matter in the long run. I thought it was the best thing to be popular when I was younger but I just wasn't like them and now being out of school I realize that it doesn't matter if you are friends with them or not. Your good friends are the ones who have been with you through everything and the ones you are comfortable talking to you.
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My friend (used to be best friend) that i've known since 6th grade, (in 11th now) just picked up smoking weed and thinks shes the coolest person in the world, but really she has no idea what shes doing.
and shes doing some pretty stupid crap. like driving while high, doing donuts and getting flat tires-- going to class high, growing it, and trying to get her friends who are starting to really dislike her into it. not to mention she doesnt know what kind shes smoking. what if its laced with iono salvia?
Shes hurting herself and her family and her friends. She got kicked out of the band program (which was her favorite but now weed is) and shes just going downhill. i wouldnt get so worried if it was someone who could control it, or do it socially once in a while- not smoking up every day by yourself like she does now.
I've been thinking about anonymously reporting her to the police. something needs to happen to let her know shes doing something thats just plain stupid- and dangerous, mentally and physically.normally i would never rat anyone out for this kind of stuff, but shes my friend and i worry about her.
should i report her to the police or not?
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If I were you I wouldn't tell anyone. Not yet. It is not your place to tell something like that. My friend did that to her bf and it was very nasty.
It is a very touchy subject because you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
If it becomes really really bad...tell. Make sure that you are prepared for the consequences.
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ok so do guys think its hot if girls like kiss each other on the cheek or sleep in the same bed? my friends and i are just like that and hold hands and hug and kiss each other on the cheek and occasionally sleep in the same bed if we have sleepovers or w/e. my bf said it doesnt bother him and he understand cause we are friends. (tho guys would NEVER do that hahaha) but i have heard some guys think girls r hot when they do things like that-but my friends and i dont like makeout! we are just friends who love each other a lot and show it :) thanks so much! (link)
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In my experience...they absolutely love it! It is weird to me but hey what ever. Some guys are different though and don't see it as hot. i think it would be fun if you asked him if he thought it was hot. Great conversation there! lol
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Last night my best friend (lisa) totally blew me off. (or atleast that's what i would call it)
She called me up the night before and said we were hanging out.. so i call her that night to make sure and she's like yeah i'll call you in an hour. 2 hours later she calls me and says she's going out to dinner with her other friend (katelyn), because some boy had called katelyn to go out and katelyn didn't wanna go alone.
what i'm mad about is that lisa she just agreed to go with katelyn without even asking me or telling me when she first knew. (at least then i could make other plans!)
i love laura to death, and i do everything for her. the other day i cleaned her car when she asked me to and i pay her like 20 dollars a week for gas money since she has to buy everything on her own. i've helped her write papers when she stressed out and i spend soo much time talking to her/reassuring her about her problems when i have a ton else to do. i cover her so she doesn't get in trouble with her parents at risk of me getting in trouble, i go to her soccer games, i buy her stuff just cuz i know she'll like it, i let her borrow my ipod/clothes/money for weeks. i wouldn't mind doing this, i mean its just being a good friend, but i don't feel like she's always a good friend to me.
for example, i live 8 min. away from her. and she always uses it against me how she goes way out of her way to pick me up. if i only give her like 10$ of gas money a week she gets pissed at me. like she told me she didn't HAVE to pick me up to go to this party (that *I* told her about and got her invited to) but she did cuz "she's a good friend." ... she flips out at me for forgetting stuff, when she wostuff like that.
but when she's nice to me, she's so nice. like she offered to drive me home when my parents got in a huge fight w/ me and wouldn't drive me anywhere.. and shes bringing me to a concert for my birthday and paying for the ticket and stuff. and she's hilarious and we're like the same person.
... i just feel like she's using me.
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I do think she is using you. I am sorry that that may sound harsh but the signs are all there. She feels like you owe her and you feel it to but friends don't do that to each other. They help each other with out trying to make the other feel guilty.
She thinks you will do anything for her at any time because you are a good friend and you have been doing that. you need to know the point at which she is taking advantage of you.
Sit down and have a major girl talk. Tell her everything that is bothering you. Try to make her listen to you. Tell her that you might say things that might make her angry but to please just listen and you will do the same.
My best friend and I used to have fights all the time until we did that and then it all stopped.
If she doesn't listen to you and keeps doing this stuff you might need to find a new friend. A friend should never think they have to make you feel guilty in order for you to do something for her.
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Im18/f and my cousin is 17/f.My cousin and i have been best friends like foreverr and in the past few years shes been kinda mean to mee. not really treating me like a good friend. but ive always forgiven her. And shes always the one who gets the guys and alwayss flirts with them and i have never had a bf beforee. Shes more outgoing and im kinda shyy. but this passed december she gave this guy my phone number for his friend and me and his friend started talking and we started to like each otherr. and i was so happy becasue i actually thought that i would get a bf and then on christmas when she was over my house she asked me for his phone number and i gave it to her. and she texted him and they started talkng and the three of us hung out at her house one dayy. and i kind of noticed that maybe they like each otherr. then he asked me why i told his friend why i liked him just as a friedn and i said that i want to be just friends for noww cause i felt like i didnt know him that well yett. so then he started talking to my cousin and he told me that he liked herr and then i found out that she liked him and now they are going outt. and one time she talked about me to my other cousin who im reallly close with and she said some mean stufff. and now the guyy is such an asshole all of a sudden.i mean i dont like him anymore or anything but it just pisses me off that they both got what they wanted. and i didnt do anything to either of themm. and me and my cousin havent talked or anything in like a month.
what should i doo? please hellppp. (link)
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My cousin is also my best friend. We have been that way since we were born. My father always told me that it might not last. The reason why your cousin might be doing this stuff is because you are her family. She thinks you will always be there for her no matter what she does to you because you are family. It sucks that it happens but I think that is why. You have to show her that the stuff she does is not always going to be forgiven.
Family grows apart especially with close cousins. You aren't like her and she knows it. Hang out with some people that aren't friends with her. You may be able to step out of your shell some more. Know that she is family and I am pretty sure that she will always be there for you.
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The past month i have been suffering relationships with all of my friends....first im being blamed 4 everything when it isnt even my fault and they just dont seem 2 want 2 b around me....please give me advice!!! (link)
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I would follow the other two answers and also remember that some people are really immuture and might be listening to other people. maybe one person is mad at you for some reason and everyone is following suit. Talk to the one that you think will tell you the truth. Tell them you can't do anything to fix this until you know what you are doing wrong.
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ok my birthday is in 2 days and i am really excited about it. So tonight my 2 friends and i are hanging out. they said it will be a little party.just a little get together. but i was telling my one friend H that i was going to wear a pin that said birthday girl on it just to be cute. and she said that would be bragging. i said no it won't because everyone has a birthday and i am happy about mine. and my other friend S had a crown on when it was her birthday and it was 1 day before. and H didn't get mad at that.now she is mad at me and i don't want to go now. Do you really think i was bragging? and how can i tell her that it is not bragging? i need help and fast! (link)
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Wow she needs to grow up! She needs to realize that it is your birthday and you can do what you want. My friends always do that stuff just to be cute and it is pretty fun. Tell her that she can do the same thing when she has a birthday. Bragg your heart out it is your b-day not yours just make sure you aren't annoying about it saying it over and over again.
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